A little eMetrics fun during the break

Post on 15-Nov-2014

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A gentle smile at the expense of some of our beloved community members. ;-)

Transcript of A little eMetrics fun during the break

Comments his javascript in French

Measured conversion rate of skywriting

Does a mean Elvis impersonation

Has read every issue of Wired

@jojoba San Diego, CAIt all started with a fellow #measure tweeter's inability to pronounce my surname, and turned into... well, a whole lot of craziness, actually! @michelehinojosa www.michelehinojosa.com

Has not seen The Social Network

Abandons shopping carts to get discount retargeting emails

Ghost writes for Perez Hilton

Arrived by Helicopter

Just became Foursquare Mayor of eMetrics

Knows what you’re going to click on next

Has a bust of Blaise Pascal in his office

Shows up in 25 of your 27 segments

Know which half of advertising is wasted

Can tell time to the femtosecond

Modifies own cookies to mess with your data

Graduated from Hogwarts

Bends spoons with his mind

Did it all for the chocolate

So excited about eMetrics, he registered twice

Monitors your search habits for Santa

Is so tweeting this right now

Checks Twitalyzer score every morning

Direct descendants of Fibonacci

Can read your phone like an RFID

Corrected error in Pythagorean Theorem

Likes EVERYBODY on Facebook

WAA Spring Gala Dress-Code Decoder Infographic

Knows where the bodies are buried

Buried some of them

Is the real Napster

Proof that you can love Data too much

Brain so activehair does that by itself

Has seen every video on YouTube

You are here

Built an app that sees through walls

Drives his car with his iPad

Recognizes you by your typing rhythm

Uses R to balance checkbook

Gave Al Gore the idea

Website built in HTML 9

Has never surfer LOLcats

Phone number randomly generated each morning

It’s never too soon for dashboards

Is WiMAX Forum Certified

Knows your current IP address

Singlehandedly stopped the sql slammer worm

Personally supports 2128 addresses(approximately 340 undecillion)

Has botnets make his breakfast

DM’s daily with @BarackObama

Typical marketing analyst career path

Calculated tomorrow’s Lottery numbers

Invented TCP IP

SS# = 3.14 15 9265

Is being followed by @michelehinojosaand @jojoba

Plots quadratic equations at stop lights