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e15�������� 1999 : ���e 1157
Guilds Union forced to cancel again ANDREW OFORI
The innovat ion of the City a n d G u i l d s
U n i o n is yet to impress its students,
forc ing them to sca le d o w n their lat-
est venture.
C & G U intended to take a bus
load of students to Br ighton o n S u n -
day 7 N o v e m b e r in support of Bo 1
(the Gu i ld ' s mascot) w h o was tak ing
part in the veteran c a r run. The
ant ique ca r successfully c o m p l e t e d
the journey in 7hours . Unfortunately
with only 12 peop l e show ing any
interest in the 7 2 poss ib le p laces ,
C & G U was unab le to justify the cost
of the c o a c h .
Despi te the wi thdrawal of the bus
trip the G u i l d s had in tended to take a
specia l guest supporter to Br ighton
for the day - the U L U President. They
hatched a plot to k i d n a p a n d drive
A few Guildsmen still made it to Brighton Photo: Archive
him to the ca r run in their G u i l d s m o -
bile 1. It was dec i ded to g o a h e a d if it
c o u l d be d o n e legally. They fo rmed
an a l l i ance With Chr i s C a m p b e l l , the
London Student Editor, and arr ived at
M r Butt's house on Sunday m o r n i n g ,
only to learn they had been set up. M r
C a m p b e l l refused to let them through
the perimeter fenc ing a n d then stood
by as M r Butt a p p e a r e d f rom beh ind
a wal l and shot at them with a Super-
soaker.
This latest f lop c o m e s s o o n after
the Star Wars party where only 3 5 out
of a possible 1 0 0 tickets were so ld
resulting in a loss of £236. C & G U
Pres ident D i n e s h G a n e s a r a j a h
exp la ined his intention was to try and
keep the students entertained dur ing
the winter te rm, v iewing this as a
weakness of G u i l d s in previous years.
M r G a n e s a r a j a h took the view
that risks needed to be taken in order
to f ind app rop r i a t e enterta inment,
say ing "The exper imenta l nature of
the previous events a lways meant they
held the possibil ity of be ing u n p o p u -
lar to the masses , hence the min ima l
expenditure. "
H e hopes that the comb ina t i on of
a strong reputat ion a n d creative p ro-
d u c t i o n wil l m a k e the u p c o m i n g
C & G Fresher's D inne r a success.
The event is to be held in Sher-
field on Friday 1 9 N o v e m b e r at 7 p m .
Tickets are ava i l ab le at Waterstones
a n d the C C S s h o p cost ing £15 for
Freshers a n d £1 7 for other students.
Newton sets out plan for an NUS free future for all SUNIL RAO
Imper ia l C o l l e g e U n i o n is to host a
c o n f e r e n c e for i n d e p e n d e n t student
un ions a n d those w h o a re c o n s i d e r -
ing d isaf f i l i a t ing f r o m the N a t i o n a l
U n i o n of Students , with the a i m of
setting up a buy ing c o n s o r t i u m . This
w o u l d be a n a l t e rna t i ve to the
N a t i o n a l U n i o n of Students Serv ices
L imited (NUSSL ) , the N U S p u r c h a s -
ing g r o u p .
Cur ren t l y , N U S S L p r o v i d e s a
p la t fo rm to buy b e e r a n d other
g o o d s that student un i ons requ i re at
a bu lk d i s coun t . The sheer size of
this student marke t has resulted in
N U S S L r e a c h i n g the m a x i m u m level
of d i s c o u n t i n g that most suppl iers
c a n p rov ide . Howeve r , a student
u n i o n c a n n o t be a part of N U S S L
wi thout p a y i n g a la rge subscr ip t ion -
if I C U were to jo in , it w o u l d m e a n
p a y i n g a r o u n d thirty t h o u s a n d
p o u n d s annua l l y .
N U S S L is inextr icably mi red in
the pol i t ics o f the N U S , a n d it is
im pos s i b l e to leave the N U S without
a l so l eav ing N U S S L [as desc r i bed in
T h e m a n d N U S in Felix 1 1 5 5 ] .
M a n y student un ions that d i s a g r e e
with the pol i t i ca l s tance of the N U S
are r e m a i n i n g with it b e c a u s e of
N U S S L . Tasha N e w t o n , I C U Pres i-
dent , be l ieves that the rate of d isa f-
f i l i a t ion wil l rise d r a m a t i c a l l y as
s o o n as a l o ca l a l ternat ive that is
d e m o n s t r a b l y as g o o d is o f f e red .
I C U buys f r om a r ange of s u p -
pl iers i n c l u d i n g N o r t h e r n Serv ices
(annua l fee £25) , a c o n s o r t i u m set
up to serve the Scott ish Univers i t ies ,
a n d T U C O , the C o l l e g e p u r c h a s i n g
g r o u p .
The c o n f e r e n c e , to be he ld on 4
D e c e m b e r , wil l present a r a n g e of
op t i ons to the u n i o n s , i n c l u d i n g set-
t ing up a "Southern Serv ices" g r o u p ,
o r e x p a n d i n g T U C O . Both w o u l d
of fer c o n s i d e r a b l e buy ing p o w e r for
m e m b e r s a n d be a v i ab l e a l t e rna-
tive to N U S S L . They w o u l d a l so
a l l o w I C U acces s to grea te r d i s-
counts a n d there fore better va lue
g o o d s .
W h e n c o n t a c t e d , Tasha N e w t o n
c o m m e n t e d , "This is p o t e n t i a l l y
s o m e t h i n g real ly • exc i t ing , but my
priority wil l a lways be gett ing the
best dea l s for IC students" .
2 s x
Advisor Mart in Thomson pro-
vides some much needed quid-
We address 1 one of the major
issues of the day in the way that
only Felix can.
n Once again it's C & G Union's
and why they exist. �� ����le iephene; c o n ' r o u s a n d polit ics
seem to he the 1 • of the day.
The pos tbag ' S ' b a c k up to it's no r-
m a l
I wo ma jo r films - Fight C l u b a n d
Sixth Sense - receive ihe off icio!
Felix ma\ of quality.
, • . || r, • l l , i i "I n
l lers for
• intent.
Turnip Henry, k ing lh= a l t e rna te
i, »e I! (:•;:: i 1 � 11 n
Team Bo report or a v e y luccessfu i
(rip ft: Bj II
Sport
We win everything again
L- ii i ' i :ng to get repsBtive;,
Dawn of the Virtual University?
A N D R E W OFOR I
A n e w b r e e d of v i r tua l un ivers i t ies
is set to c h a n g e the f a c e of fur ther
e d u c a t i o n , l e a v i n g t r a d i t i o n a l u n i -
vers i t ies "wel l a n d truly s tu f fed"
a c c o r d i n g to 'Un ive rs i t i es in the
Future 1 .
In his b o o k , M i c h a e l T h o m e ,
V i c e - P r i n c i p a l of N a p i e r Univers i ty ,
d i s c u s s e d the v u l n e r a b i l i t y o f
Bri t ish un ive rs i t i es . V i r t ua l u n i v e r s i -
t ies w i l l o f f e r s tuden t s t a i l o r e d
l e a r n i n g w h e r e a n d w h e n it is
r e q u i r e d , j e o p a r d i s i n g the r e p u t a -
t ion of Br i ta in 's Un i ve r s i t i e s .
"The i m a g e of the i s o l a t e d
c o m p u t e r buff is n o l o n g e r r ea l i s -
t ic" c o m m e n t e d the ch i e f execu t i ve
of the Sco t t i sh H i g h e r E d u c a t i o n
F u n d i n g C o u n c i l , P ro f esso r J o h n
Sizer.
O n e v i ew of the v i r tua l un i ve r-
sity d e p i c t e d l a rge s c a l e inst i tutes
l i n k e d to a g l o b a l i n f o r m a t i o n
b a s e . E d u c a t i o n a l inst i tutes wi l l
d e v e l o p a r o u n d d i g i t a l c o n n e c -
t ions a n d a d e m a n d , r e n d e r i n g
ex is t ing un ivers i t ies use l ess . Sixth
f o r m c o l l e g e s a r e p r e d i c t e d to
t ake the i r p l a c e .
E l e c t r on i c lec tures ( s imi la r to
t h o s e current ly u n d e r w a y in the
M e d S c h o o l ) wi l l put a n e n d to the
f a c e to f a c e sess ions a n d tu to r i a l s
wi l l be a c o m b i n a t i o n of v i d e o -
c o n f e r e n c i n g a n d e - m a i l s .
C o u r s e w o r k wi l l be c a r r i e d ou t
o n l i n e .
A n u m b e r of U S un ivers i t i es
ha ve a l r e a d y t a k e n the first s teps
t o w a r d s this m e t h o d of t e a c h i n g ,
W e s t e r Un ivers i ty has 15 0 0 0 s t u -
dents at 6 4 l o c a t i o n s a n d the
S o u t h e r n R e g i o n a l E l e c t r o n i c
C a m p u s ( S im i l a r to the O p e n U n i -
versity) runs its c o u r s e s in 15
sta tes , 1 0 0 of t h e m c o n d u c t e d v i a
the in ternet a n d t e l e v i s i o n .
W a l l Street h a s s h o w n a n inter-
est in the c o n c e p t o f the v i r tua l
univers i ty , but its c o m m e r c i a l v i a -
bil ity is p resen t l y l im i t ed by r e g u l a -
t i ons . Sir A l e c B r o e r s , the V i c e
C h a n c e l l o r at C a m b r i d g e s a i d
"un less the i r g o v e r n m e n t a l l o w s
t h e m [universi t ies] to o p e r a t e as
p u b l i c l y t r a d e d c o r p o r a t i o n s , the i r
g r o w t h wi l l be l im i t ed by l a c k of
c a p i t a l a n d . . . by the i r inab i l i t y to
g e n e r a t e m a x i m u m p e r f o r m a n c e
by p r o v i d i n g t h e m wi th the o p p o r -
tunity to b u i l d p e r s o n a l w e a l t h
t h r o u g h s tock o p t i o n s " . T h e f o r m e r
p r i n c i p a l o f S t r a thc l yde Univers i ty ,
S i r G r a h a m H i l l s w a s a m o n g those
u n c o n v i n c e d by this n e w e r a , a s k -
ing " W h a t w o u l d w e d o wi th a l l the
p r o f e s s o r s ? "
In Brief S U M M E R BALL CHAIR
FINALLY ELECTED
Last T u e s d a y ' s m e e t i n g of I m p e r i -
a l C o l l e g e U n i o n C o u n c i l s a w the
e l e c t i o n p r o c e s s f o r this y e a r ' s
I C U S u m m e r Ba l l C h a i r r e a c h a
s u c c e s s f u l c o n c l u s i o n . A f t e r a
st r ing of n o - s h o w s a n d f a i l u r e s to
f i n d any w i l l i n g c a n d i d a t e s , two
U n i o n m e m b e r s e v e n t u a l l y put
the i r n a m e s f o r w a r d , w i th A n d y
H e e p s the r u n - a w ay w inner . M r
H e e p s w a s I C U Pres iden t in the
1 9 9 7 - 9 8 a c a d e m i c year , a n d d u r -
i n g that t ime he o v e r s a w the i n t r o-
d u c t i o n of IC ' s first S u m m e r B a l l .
H e p r o m i s e d to k e e p t i cke t leve ls
b e l o w £ 5 0 , a n d h i n t e d t h a t
A l e x a n d r a P a l a c e is n o w a l m o s t
c e r t a i n to h o u s e this y e a r ' s B a l l .
W e ' l l b r i n g y o u fu r the r d e v e l o p -
men t s as they h a p p e n .
C V C P B L O C K N E W
QUAL IF ICAT IONS
The C o m m i t t e e of V i c e - C h a n c e l -
lors a n d P r i n c i p l e s (the r e p r e s e n -
tat ive b o d y f o r the l e a d e r s of a l l
B r i t a in ' s H i g h e r E d u c a t i o n ins t i tu-
t ions) l o o k s set to e f fec t i ve l y v e to
the g o v e r n m e n t ' s n e w p l a n s fo r
pos t 1 6 e d u c a t i o n , w i th V i c e Pres-
iden t R o d e r i c k F l a u d s u g g e s t i n g
tha t " i t is very u n l i k e l y that we wi l l
r e q u i r e any of the n e w q u a l i f i c a -
t i ons f o r entry to h i g h e r e d u c a -
t i o n " . If c o l l e g e s a n d un ive rs i t i es
re fuse to a c c e p t the n e w A- leve l
a l t e r n a t i v e s t h e n it is b e l i e v e d that
t h e r e w i l l b e n o d e s i r e f r o m
s c h o o l s o r s tuden t s to i m p l e m e n t
the n e w s c h e m e .
FELIX NEEDS YOU E
,
L
S
E
E
R
15 1999 . Feli 3
ICU Careers Fair Pugwash lecture
THE NEWS TEAM
F o r a l l f i n a l y e a r s tuden t s t he r e a r e
few m o r e stressful t h i ngs in l ife
t han t r a i p s i n g a r o u n d a s e e m i n g l y
e n d l e s s s u c c e s s i o n of c o m p a n i e s ,
t ry ing to f i nd you r se l f that c a r e e r
o p p o r t u n i t y that he l p s to m a k e
three o r m o r e years at IC w o r t h -
w h i l e .
To save y o u at leas t s o m e of
the has s l e , the U n i o n o r g a n i s e s a n
a n n u a l C a r e e r s Fa i r w h e r e the
c r e a m o f E u r o p e ' s b i g g e s t c o r p o -
rate a n d g r a d u a t e rec ru i t e r s c o m e
d i rect ly to y o u . S o , if y o u w a n t to
see w h a t to see w h a t a l m o s t fifty of
Eu rope ' s best g r a d u a t e e m p l o y e r s
have to o f f e r y o u , a l l y o u n e e d to
d o is turn up at Beit Q u a d this
W e d n e s d a y ( 1 7 N o v e m b e r )
b e t w e e n 1 1 a m a n d 5 p m a n d
they' l l be k e e n to ta lk to y o u . You
d o n ' t n e e d t o be a f i na l y e a r s t u -
d e n t o r h a v e a n y p a r t i c u l a r l y
s t rong g o a l s o r c a r e e r p l a n s , just
the des i r e to f i nd you r se l f e m p l o y -
m e n t in the n e a r fu tu re .
Th is is the b i g g e s t i n d e p e n d -
ent c a r e e r s f a i r in the count ry , a n d
is a v a l u a b l e c h a n c e to c h e c k ou t
a w i d e r a n g e of d i f fe rent o p p o r t u -
n i t i e s . C o m p a n i e s a t t e n d i n g
i n c l u d e a c ross s e c t i o n of the
m a n a g e m e n t , t e c h n i c a l , f i n a n c i a l
a n d c o n s u l t i n g w o r l d , with A n d e r -
sen C o n s u l t i n g , A r t h u r A n d e r s e n ,
P r i c e W a t e r h o u s e C o o p e r s , G o l d -
m a n S a c h s , De lo i t t e C o n s u l t i n g ,
N a t W e s t IT, O x y g e n S o l u t i o n s L td ,
C a m b r i d g e T e c h n o l o g y Par tners ,
R i c a r d o , O v e A r u p , L e h m a n
B ro the r s , Rol ls Royce , The A rm y ,
C h a s e M a n h a t t a n B a n k a n d o v e r
forty o t h e r s , as we l l as the C o l l e g e
C a r e e r s S e r v i c e .
If y o u w a n t a j ob this y e a r o r
next y e a r there 's on l y o n e p l a c e to
start , so m a k e sure you visit the
C a r e e r s Fa i r o n W e d n e s d a y .
D e t a i l s a b o u t the c o m p a n i e s
a t t e n d i n g a r e a v a i l a b l e f r o m the
U n i o n O f f i c e a n d the C o l l e g e
C a r e e r s S e r v i c e .
PATRICK BRANNAC
Student Pugwash con t i nued its series
of lectures with a talk g iven by D r
John Hassa rd f rom Imperial C o l -
lege's Physics depar tment . The title
of the lecture was 'Will C l i m a t e
C h a n g e Dr ive N u c l e a r P ro l i f e ra-
t ion? ' a n d it f o cused on whether
nuc lea r energy c o u l d prov ide a s o l u -
t ion to the threat of g l o b a l w a r m i n g .
If C O 2 p r o d u c e d f r om fossil
fue ls is c a u s i n g a subs tan t i a l
increase in g l o b a l t empera tu re , o n e
obv ious so lut ion w o u l d be to use a n
energy source that puts out no C O 2 ,
such as nuclear. A p r o b l e m with
nuc l ea r energy is that it p roduce s
ma te r i a l that , e s pe c i a l l y w h e n
reprocessed , can be used to bu i ld
n u c l e a r w e a p o n s . This mani fes ts
itself in n u c l e a r p r o l i f e r a t i o n ,
because nearly every country in the
wor ld w o u l d have their o w n factor ies
p u m p i n g out mate r i a l , wh i ch has up
until n o w been the ma jo r l imit ing
fac tor in the m a k i n g of n u c l e a r
w e a p o n s .
D r H a s s a r d a r g u e d that if d r a -
mat i c c h a n g e s to the c l imate d id
o c c u r ove r a t ime sca le of years ,
then n u c l e a r energy c o u l d be a
shor t- term s o l u t i o n , ha l t i ng the
increase in C O 2 levels in the a t m o s -
p h e r e unti l r e n e w a b l e ene rgy
sou r ce s b e c o m e v i ab l e . N u c l e a r
pro l i fe ra t ion n eed not result, p rov id-
ing the reactors are des i gned to
min imise the w e a p o n s g r a d e mater i-
a l p r o d u c e d . N u c l e a r a c c o u n t a n c y
c o u l d be suf f i c ient ly r e l i ab l e to
ensure that there is n o increase in
the ava i lab i l i ty of such mater ia l to
despo t i c r eg imes .
The next lecture to be held is
'Veri fy ing N u c l e a r D i s a r m a m e n t : A
Role For A W E A l d e r m a s t o n ' by Tom
M i l n e on 2 D e c e m b e r at 1 p m . If you
are interested in the imp lemen ta t i on
of ethics in s c i e n c e , then c o m e
a l o n g to the societ ies weekly meet-
ings he ld every Thursday at 1 p m in
the B C R (top f l oo r of the U n i o n
bu i ld ing ) .
Practice your case study interview technique and get a head
start on applying to one of the top management consulting firms!
Mitchell Madison Group are looking for final
year students to participate in an interviewer
training day on
y
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f you are considering a career in management consulting, and are
interested in participating, please send your CV and a cover letter to:
Lisa Holmes, Recruitment Co-ordinator,
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g : , 1999 �www.mmgnet.com www.uswebcks.com
g x
Advice Centre Update BY MARTIN T H O M S O N ,
U N I O N ADVISOR �M a n y in te rna t iona l (non E u r o p e a n )
students may still be u n a w a r e that
as l o n g as they d o n ' t have a n entry
c l e a r a n c e s t a m p w h i c h states that
they are p r o h i b i t e d f r o m w o r k i n g ,
they c a n n o w work fo r up to 2 0
hours per week in te rm t ime , o r ful l
t ime in the v a c a t i o n s . Th i s is
b e c a u s e the g o v e r n m e n t g a v e wha t
they d e s c r i b e d as " b l a n k e t p e r m i s -
s i o n " to al l students w h o have the
restr ict ion s t a m p in J u n e of this
year. (The restr ict ion s t a m p is the
one that says that you n e e d to get
pe rm i s s i on f r o m the Secre tary of
State for E m p l o y m e n t be fo re you
can work ) . T h e r e f o r e , you c a n work
in the U n i o n or in C o l l e g e , you c a n
take up s u m m e r p l a c e m e n t s o r d o
any o ther k ind of work w i thout
n e e d i n g to g o t h r o u g h any further
b u r e a u c r a c y (apart f r o m get t ing a
N a t i o n a l I n s u r a n c e n u m b e r l ) .
S o m e e m p l o ye r s a re still c o n f u s e d
by the c h a n g e s , however , so if you
expe r i ence any di f f icu l t ies p l e a se
con tac t me . The s i tua t ion fo r w o r k -
ing after g r a d u a t i o n is still the s a m e
and work permits a re r e q u i r e d . It
c a n be poss ib l e to stay o n for a
year o r so to get work e x p e r i e n c e o r
to d o s o m e t r a in ing but this won ' t
a l l o w e d you to switch o v e r to a full
work permit . Let m e k n o w if you
have any ques t i ons .
C �
You ' l l h a ve to fo rg i v e m e fo r g o i n g
on a b o u t h o u s i n g , a n d I h o p e that
e ve r yone is r e a s o n a b l y sett led into
their a c c o m m o d a t i o n at this po in t .
I th ink that a c o u p l e of th ings
are wor thy of r e m i n d e r ; firstly, if
you d i d not get a n inventory t a k e n
w h e n you m o v e d i n , you s h o u l d
have d o n e o n e you rse l ves . If y o u
haven ' t d o n e th is , d o it n o w a n d
take p h o t o g r a p h s of the p rope r t y
so you c a n s h o w w h a t it w a s l ike in
the event of a d i spu t e w h e n y o u
leave . L a n d l o r d s d o of ten k e e p
d e p o s i t s c l a i m i n g tha t s t u d e n t s
have c a u s e d d a m a g e . If you l eave
w i thou t a n inven to r y o r p h o t o -
g r a p h s , it c a n be very h a r d to
a r g u e a c a s e .
If any th ing b reaks wh i l e you
are in the proper ty t h r o u g h w e a r
a n d tea r (a cha i r , a n a p p l i a n c e etc)
you must write to the l a n d l o r d a n d
notify t h e m of this . O t h e r w i s e w h e n
you l e ave you m a y f a c e d e d u c t i o n s
f r o m you r depos i t .
S im i l a r l y , if s o m e t h i n g is in
l o r d , s imp ly not i fy ing h i m / h e r of
the p r o b l e m . K e e p a c o p y a n d
m a k e sure it is d a t e d . The r e a s o n
for this is that if the l a n d l o r d we re
to refuse to d o the r epa i r a n d you
h a d to take fur ther a c t i o n , a cour t
w o u l d not expec t the l a n d l o r d to
k n o w a b o u t the p r o b l e m until y ou
c a n s h o w that you b r o u g h t it to
the i r a t t en t ion . If a l a n d l o r d d o e s
n e e d of repair , there are two steps
you must t ake . Firstly, c h e c k you r
t e n a n c y a g r e e m e n t to see w h e t h e r
o r not the l a n d l o r d c a n e n d it early.
This c a n on ly be d o n e if the l a n d -
l o r d h a s a " b r e a k c l a u s e " in
h i s/her f avour , a n d this is not a
s t a n d a r d c l a u s e . If there is a b r eak
c l a u s e , this s h o u l d have a n i m p a c t
o n y o u r n e g o t i a t i n g p o s i t i o n
b e c a u s e you m a y wan t to be as
n i ce to the l a n d l o r d as poss ib l e
wh i l e ge t t ing the r epa i r d o n e . If
there is n o b reak c l a u s e a n d you
a re , f o r e x a m p l e , s e cu r e in you r
flat unti l the e n d of t e r m , the first
t h ing to d o is to write to you r l and-
not carry out repa i r s wi th in a r e a -
s o n a b l e t i m e , they are in b r e a c h of
con t r ac t .
If, f o r wha t e ve r r e a s o n , you are
t h i n k i ng of l e a v i n g y o u r a c c o m m o -
d a t i o n early, it is essent ia l that you
c h e c k you r l ega l p o s i t i o n . Even
t h o u g h you m igh t have a m o r a l l y
g o o d r e a s o n for m o v i n g out , this
may not re l ease you f r o m y o u r
con t rac t . If you b r eak a con t r a c t ,
l a n d l o r d s c a n (and s o m e t i m e s do)
sue f o r m e r t e n a n t s , e s p e c i a l l y
w h e n they have g u a r a n t o r s . It is
a l so s o m e t i m e s p o s s i b l e f o r you r
co- tenants to sue y o u if you b r e a k
you r con t r a c t a n d they lose money .
c h
It's b o r i n g I k n o w but if you haven ' t
d o n e it this t e rm , m a k e sure you set
yourse l f a b u d g e t f o r the next. B u d -
ge t ing is as s im p l e as d i v i d i n g you r
termly i n c o m e into w e e k s , a n d then
s u b d i v i d i n g into the th ings that you
n e e d a n d the th ings that you want .
W e ' r e w o r k i n g o n rev i s ing a n d
r e p r i n t i n g o u r F i n a n c i a l G u i d e
w h i c h wi l l h a ve m o r e i n f o r m a t i o n
o n b u d g e t i n g . If you n e e d any he lp
in w o r k i n g out a b u d g e t , get in
t o u c h .
A c c e s s funds a re a v a i l a b l e n o w
fo r h o m e students f r o m the S tudent
F i n a n c e O f f i c e , r o o m 3 3 5 Sher-
f i e l d . L o o k o u t f o r the n o t i c e s
a r o u n d C o l l e g e . The re a re a l so
l imi ted h a r d s h i p f unds fo r i n t e r n a -
t i ona l s tudents a n d the Ci ty a n d
G u i l d s , Roya l C o l l e g e of S c i e n c e ,
a n d Roya l S c h o o l o f M i n e s a l l have
C o n s t i t u e n t C o l l e g e A s s o c i a t i o n
H a r d s h i p Trusts w h i c h m igh t be
a b l e to g ive s o m e he lp to students
in g e n u i n e a n d u n e x p e c t e d h a r d -
sh ip . F u n d r a i s i n g is very dif f icult f o r
students w h o have started a cou r se
w i thout a d e q u a t e f u n d i n g , but it is
usua l l y p o s s i b l e to get at least s o m e
he lp fo r t hose w h o a re in the last six
m on t hs of a c o u r s e a n d f a c i n g
u n e x p e c t e d d i f f i cu l t ies .
C h r i s t m a s is a grea t t ime fo r
r a c k i n g up cred i t deb ts . The re is a
lot that c a n be d o n e to m a n a g e
cred i t debts w h e n th ings b e c o m e
ha rd to c o p e with a n d this i n c l udes
get t ing he lp a r r a n g i n g a f f o r d a b l e
r e p a y m e n t p l ans with c red i tors a n d
h o l d i n g off cour t a c t i o n . If you f ind
yourse l f with mu l t i p l e cred i t debts
a n d you a re j u g g l i n g o n e deb t to
pay fo r the o the r t hen p l e a se c o m e
a n d see m e . The A d v i c e Serv ice
assists p e o p l e with d e b t p r o b l e m s in
a strictly impa r t i a l a n d n o n - j u d g e -
menta l manne r . I'm here to he lp ,
not to lec ture .
c t
To m a k e a n a p p o i n t m e n t to ca l l in
f o r a c o n f i d e n t i a l cha t a b o u t any
p r o b l e m , b ig o r s m a l l , ca l l U n i o n
R e c e p t i o n o n 0 1 7 1 5 9 4 8 0 6 0 ,
c o n t a c t m e d i rec t l y o n in te rna l
e x t e n s i o n 4 8 0 6 7 , o r e m a i l
m . m . t h o m s o n @ i c . a c . u k .
ICII
wsa
Quai
C O M P A N Y I N F O R M A T I O N D R O C H O R E
N O W F R O M ICO A N D T H E C A R E E R S OFF ICE
6 e Feli � 15 1999
Nothing toifb with me? e c
En g a g e any g r o u p of scientists o r eng inee rs
in d i s cuss ion ove r any e th i ca l , po l i t i ca l o r
s o c i o l o g i c a l issue a n d you ' re sure to h e a r
the mant ra " k n o w l e d g e fo r knowledge ' s
sake " r epea ted m o r e than o n c e . The ins inua t ion is
that pure research is free f r o m any outs ide in f lu-
ences o r c o n c e r n s , that it is dr iven by a des i re to
unde r s t and , not by g l o b a l i m p a c t o r i m p l i c a t i o n .
But is this t rue? C a n scientists a n d eng inee rs deny
responsibi l i ty f o r the i r work , o r must they share
b l a m e a n d cu lpab i l i t y a l o n g with credi t ?
The mos t o b v i o u s (and c l i ched) e x a m p l e is
obv ious l y the M a n h a t t a n Project. Years later,
many of the l e a d i n g f igures o n the project a c c e p t -
ed that wha t they d i d , wha t they c r e a t e d , c h a n g e d
the f a ce of the w o r l d - i n d e e d it w o u l d be easy to
a r g u e that the invent ion of the a t o m i c b o m b inti-
mately s h a p e d the history a n d pol i t ics o f the entire
s e c o n d half o f the twentieth century. Yet s o m e
w o u l d still say that wha t they were e n g a g e d in w a s
still a research b a s e d p r o g r a m m e (at tempting to
harness a t o m i c energy f o r the first t ime) , a n d thus
the responsib i l i ty lies not with O p p e n h e i m e r a n d
his t e a m , but rather with President T ruman a n d his
military adv i so r s , w h o au tho r i s ed the d r o p p i n g of
the b o m b .
In ac tua l fact , the M a n h a t t a n Project h i g h -
lights the real p r o b l e m with scient i f ic r espons ib i l i -
ty - if you see the i m p e n d i n g imp l i ca t i ons of your
r esea rch , s h o u l d you s top you r work , desp i te the
(seeming) certainty that s o m e o n e else wil l r e a ch
the s a m e d iscover ies within the next few years? In
this c a se , their des i re to des i gn the b o m b was
dr iven by the threat o f the G e r m a n ' s cons t ruc t ing
one first (whether o r not there ever was actua l l y
any c h a n c e of a N a z i a t o m i c b o m b is a w h o l e dif-
ferent d i scuss ion ) . A l t h o u g h this is a very extreme
e x a m p l e , it's still a s ing le e x a m p l e of a m u c h
m o r e w i d e s p r e a d ( and , f r om a m o r a l s t andpo in t ,
inc red ib ly complex ) p r o b l e m .
To use a r easonab l y recent e x a m p l e , if you
are o n the verge of d i s cove r ing the t e rm ina to r
g e n e fo r G M m od i f i e d c rops , s h o u l d you f o l l o w
t h r o u g h your research . O n o n e h a n d , you ' l l g a i n
pres t ige , c a s h a n d the f o u n d a t i o n s for G M
research that c o u l d c h a n g e the w o r l d for the bet-
ter. O n the o ther h a n d you ' l l d e v e l o p a c r o p that
c o u l d destroy m an y third w o r l d e c o n o m i e s a n d
g i ve o n e p r o d u c e r a n inc red ib l y d a n g e r o u s
m o n o p o l y . S o , d o you g o a h e a d a n d give M o n -
san to the fruits of your research , o r d o you lock
everything in a d a r k e n e d c u p b o a r d ? We l l , s o m e
of you are p r o b a b l y th ink ing that you s h o u l d (and
m a y b e wou ld ) take the mora l h i g h g r o u n d a n d b in
you r work . But h a n g o n , if you don ' t d o it, you
k n o w full wel l that a g r o u p of US researchers in
C h i c a g o a re only a few months beh in d y o u , a n d
they ' l l p r o b a b l y have g iven the g e n e to their
backe rs by the e n d of the year... So is there ever
any po int in trying to cont ro l your r esea rch , o r
s h o u l d you a lways f o l l ow th rough o n you r work to
the greatest poss ib le extent? W e l l , d o you really
th ink that if the scientists e n g a g e d in the M a n h a t -
tan Project h a d f o l l o w e d t h r o u g h o n their threat
a n d w a l k e d out on the US g o v e r n m e n t in 1 9 4 4
the H b o m b w o u l d never have h a p p e n e d ? N o , of
course not - s o m e o n e w o u l d have m a d e the
b r e a k t h r o u g h (a l though quite poss ib ly not for
m a n y years) a n d w h o ' s to say that they w o u l d
have b e e n any m o r e cau t ious with their i nven-
t ion?
The real p r o b l e m , then , is the fact that you
will be l abe l l ed with the responsibi l i ty (whether
you c h o o s e to take it o r not) fo r your d i scover i es ,
a n d yet you really have n o say over t h e m . The
way research is f u n d e d m e a n s that there will
a lways be s o m e o n e else out there with a say in
you r invent ion , be they g o v e r n m e n t a l , c o r p o r a t e ,
trust b a s e d o r even Imper ia l C o l l e g e of S c i ence ,
T e c h n o l o g y a n d M e d i c i n e . A n d most backe rs wil l
have f u n d e d y o u r resea rch f r o m profit d r i ven , not
altruist ic, mot ives , s o the l i k e l i h o o d of them lis-
t en ing to you r m o r a l j udgemen t s is s l im to say the
least. Even if the mos t d a n g e r o u s aspec ts of your
d i scover i es a re entirely a c c i d e n t a l (they frequent ly
are) you r backe r s wil l still wan t to max im i se their
profits ( because , if no th ing e l se , they wil l on ly be
a b l e to f i nance future R & D if y o u r dev e l opm en t s
p rove marke tab le ) .
S o , d o e s al l that m e a n that the scient i f ic c o m -
munity c a n deny a l l responsib i l i ty fo r the results of
it's wo rk ? The p r o b l e m is that , if t a k e n t o o far,
log i c of this k ind c a n r e m o v e the we ight of
responsib i l i ty f r o m eve ryone . If the scientist is not
respons ib l e fo r d e s i g n i n g the inven t ion , the m a n -
ufacturer c a n n o t be respons ib l e fo r bu i l d i ng it, or
the C h i e f Execut ive for d e p l o y i n g it. S o w e are left
to h a n g the b l a m e o n the p o o r guy at the bo t tom
with his f inger o n the b ig red but ton o r the syringe
- but surely he 's just o b e y i n g o rde r s ? Ult imately,
eve ryone must a c c e p t their sha re , b e c a u s e all
have had a c h a n c e to m a k e a d i f fe rence , yet
n o n e have . You could b l o c k the use of you r inven-
t i on , by o n e m e a n s o r another , a n d if you c h o o s e
not to then with that c h o i c e you a c c e p t respons i-
bility.
A s a f inal note , there 's o n e interest ing s i deba r
to my m a i n e x a m p l e , the M a n h a t t a n Project. In
the fifty f ou r years s ince the b o m b s were d r o p p e d ,
a lmos t eve ryone invo l ved in the p r o g r a m m e has
expressed so r row a n d remorse fo r what they d i d -
the scientists, the pi lot , the m a n w h o o p e n e d the
b o m b bay d o o r s - with o n e key except ion - the US
g o v e r n m e n t . Interpret that as you w i l l . . .
C o m m e n t s a n d f e e d b a c k a re very w e l c o m e -
e m a i l felix@ic.ac.uk.
DAVID ROBERTS
London Transport Student
Photocard 1999/2000
ICU WILL STOP ISSUING DISCOUNT CARDS
THIS FRIDAY (NOVEMBER 19th)
s
t
m
Computer Shop
Level 4
Mechanical Engineering Building
.
m
k
P r i c e s @ h t tp : //www.cc . i c . a c .uk/admin/shop/
• , BLANK CD OFFER 25 i a PLASTIC CASE
P only £ 2 5 . 0 0
Pr ices Inc lude V A T - Avai lable whi lst s tocks last
8 ����� Feli� � 15 ��� !" # 1999
What is THE CITY & GUILDS COLLEGE UNION SECTION reengineering (he
way you think
City & Guilds College Union? CGCU are back - this time to answer the one big question that students want an answer to...
Fo r the o r d i n a r y J o e B l o g g s
tha t s t ro l l s d o w n the w a l k -
way , the t h o u g h t o f C i t y &
G u i l d s C o l l e g e U n i o n s e e m s to
b r i n g up o n e g u e s t i o n a b o v e a l l
e l se - w h a t is it? T h e r e is little
u n d e r s t a n d i n g in the g e n e r a l s t u -
d e n t p o p u l o u s of w h a t C i t y &
G u i l d s C o l l e g e U n i o n i s , o r w h a t
it d o e s . If y o u a re o n e of these
u n e n l i g h t e n e d s o u l s , h o l d t ight t o
these p a g e s , r e a d o n a n d p r e p a r e
to be i l l u m i n a t e d .
City & Guilds College
The C r e a m o f I m p e r i a l
C i t y & G u i l d s C o l l e g e is
I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e ' s C o n s t i t u e n t
C o l l e g e f o r the e n g i n e e r i n g p r o -
f e s s i o n . H e n c e a l l s t u d e n t s in
C & G C o l l e g e a r e o n a d e g r e e
that is e n g i n e e r i n g f o c u s e d , as
o p p o s e d t o m e d i c a l , e n v i r o n m e n -
ta l o r s c i e n t i f i c . W h a t d o e s this
m e a n ? A s a n e x a m p l e , s c i e n c e
s e e k s to u n c o v e r new laws of
n a t u r e . T h e s c i e n c e d e g r e e s o p t i -
m i s e th is . E n g i n e e r i n g s e e k s t o
s o l v e c l i en t b a s e d p r o b l e m s w i t h -
in g i v e n c o n s t r a i n t s . A l l e n g i n e e r -
ing d e g r e e s , i.e. t h o s e of C i t y &
G u i l d s C o l l e g e , a r e f o c u s e d
a r o u n d this i m p l e m e n t a t i o n o r i e n -
t a t e d a p p r o a c h . T h e type of s t u -
d e n t o n a C & G C o l l e g e d e g r e e is
a l s o d i f f e ren t t o that of a s tuden t
in any o t h e r cons t i t uency . C & G
C o l l e g e s tuden ts c o m e , to I m p e r i -
a l w i th a n A Leve l po in t s a v e r a g e
of a l m o s t 2 9 . Th i s is o v e r o n e
p o i n t m o r e t h a n the a v e r a g e
m e d i c o r sc i en t i s t , a n d s e v e r a l
p o i n t s m o r e t h a n the a v e r a g e
m ine r . B e c a u s e of the lu c r a t i v e
n a t u r e o f the C & G C o l l e g e
d e g r e e s , s i n c e they a r e o r i e n t a t e d
t o w a r d s indust ry , C & G C o l l e g e
s tuden t s a l s o e a r n m o r e w h e n
they l e a v e c o l l e g e t h a n the a v e r -
a g e m e d i c , s c i en t i s t o r m ine r .
H e n c e C & G C o l l e g e is d is t inc t l y
d i f f e r en t to the o t h e r c o n s t i t u e n -
c i e s . "When you enter industry,
your degree represents the Cor-
don Bleu of Engineering" D a v i d
B i s h o p , C i t y & G u i l d s C o i i e g e
U n i o n P res iden t 1 9 6 5 / 1 9 6 6 .
City & Guilds College Union
R e e n g i n e e r i n g The W a y Y o u T h i n k
C i t y & G u i l d s C o l l e g e U n i o n
( C G C U ) is the s tuden t u n i o n f o r
C & G C o l l e g e . A s s u c h , it r e p r e -
sents this e n g i n e e r i n g p o r t i o n of
the s tuden ts in I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e .
Y o u r a c a d e m i c y e a r r e p r e s e n t a -
t ives a re just o n e f a c e of C i t y &
G u i l d s C o l l e g e U n i o n . T h e s e s t u -
den t s r e p r e s e n t y o u r interests at a
l o c a l l eve l in y o u r d e g r e e , r a i s i n g
c o n c e r n s in t h a t y e a r g r o u p .
C G C U a l s o has D e p a r t m e n t a l
R e p r e s e n t a t i v e s , w h o wi l l r a i s e
i s sues w h i c h a r e not d e a l t w i th at
a l o c a l l e v e l , o r t h o s e tha t a f f ec t a
d e p a r t m e n t a s a w h o l e . T h e
C G C U A c a d e m i c A f f a i r s o f f i c e r
c o - o r d i n a t e s wi th the D e p a r t m e n -
ta l Rep re sen t a t i v e s to ra ise m a t -
ters i nsu f f i c i en t l y d e a l t w i th at a
l o c a l leve l at the h i g h e s t l eve l s of
c o l l e g e , a n d to b r i n g t o the f o r e
i s sues that e f fect the C & G C o l -
l e g e e n g i n e e r s as a w h o l e .
Y o u r D e p a r t m e n t a l Soc i e t y is
the f a c e of C G C U that y o u wi l l
see o n a m o r e d a y to d a y b a s i s .
T h e s e s o c i e t i e s r e p r e s e n t the s p e -
c i f i c interests o f y o u r d e p a r t m e n t
s o c i a l l y as we l l as in a r r a n g i n g
ac t i v i t i es tha t a re a n e x t e n s i o n of
y o u r d e g r e e . E x t r a o r d i n a r y S o c i -
et ies s u c h as the C & G M o t o r
C l u b , C & G R u g b y C l u b a n d
Ees tec p r o v i d e o p p o r t u n i t i e s to
e x p l o r e y o u r e n g i n e e r i n g interests
a s a w h o l e , o r t o b e c o m e
i n v o l v e d in r e p r e s e n t i n g the e n g i -
n e e r i n g ident i ty o f C & G C o i i e g e .
C G C U a l s o has s t r o n g l inks
wi th the C G C A , the c o r p o r a t e
a s s o c i a t i o n o f C & G C o l l e g e f o r
pas t a n d p r e s e n t m e m b e r o f C & G
C o l l e g e . The C G C A p r o v i d e s net-
w o r k i n g o p p o r t u n i t i e s - t h e
o p p o r t u n i t y to m e e t a n d k n o w
p e o p l e in indus t r y a n d e l s e w h e r e .
" H a v i n g c o n t a c t s " h a s a l w a y s
b e e n a n e x c e l l e n t c o m m o d i t y in
l i f e . G u i l d s h e e t is the s t u d e n t
p u b l i c a t i o n f o r C G C U , a n d as
s u c h p r o v i d e s a h u m o u r o u s a l t e r -
na t i ve m e d i u m , r e p o r t i n g o n the
ac t i v i t i es o f C G C U a s we l l as
e n t e r t a i n i n g t h e C & G C o l l e g e
s t u de n t s .
O u r e v e n t s g r o w f r o m
s t r eng th t o s t r e n g t h . A t l an t i s - T h e
C & G F reshers D i n n e r , t he a n n u a l
hit e x t r a v a g a n z a r e t u r n s th i s
w e e k , a n d fu tu re even ts a r e a l l set
to be g r a d e A s t a n d a r d . A taster,
to g i v e r e a s s u r a n c e , is the L o n d o n
B o a t R a c e in F e b r u a r y , w h e r e
G u i l d s f a c e U C L , K i n g s a n d any
o t h e r L o n d o n c o l l e g e that wan t s
to be i n v o l v e d in a m a s s i v e 1 0 0
pint B o a t (d r ink ing ) R a c e .
A s a U n i o n , w e a l s o a i m to d o
m o r e . In r e c e n t y ea r s w e h a v e
a d d e d t o o u r ar t i l l e ry o f se r v i c e s .
C G C U B u d d i e s , the sys tem f o r
p a i r i n g up n e w f r e s h e r s tuden ts
w i t h o l d e r s t u d e n t s f r o m the
d e p a r t m e n t t o h e l p f r e she r s sett le
in to un ivers i t y l i fe w a s a s u c c e s s
in its p i l o t y e a r o n ISE a n d C i v i l
E n g i n e e r i n g , a n d is set t o be
e x p a n d e d to the rest o f C & G C o l -
l e g e f o r t h e nex t i n t a k e . T h e
In te rnsh ip C e n t r e is in the C G C U
p r o d u c t i o n l i n e , a n d wi l l u l t i m a t e -
ly be a p l a c e w h e r e s tuden t s s e e k -
i n g s u m m e r v a c a t i o n w o r k c a n
c o m e by a n d a p p l y f o r j obs r e l e -
v a n t t o t h e i r d e g r e e s . C G C U
A c t i v e is the n e w "soc i e t y e x t e n -
s i o n " o f t h e C G C U E x e c u t i v e
C o m m i t t e e , a l l o w i n g y o u to get
i n v o l v e d in the p a r t i c u l a r r u n n i n g
o f a c e r t a i n a r e a o f C G C U , as
s u c h a l l o w i n g y o u t o d o m o r e a n d
g e t t i n g m o r e of w h a t y o u w a n t
f r o m C G C U .
C G C U is a U n i o n tha t is
e v o l v i n g to m e e t the n e e d s of its
s t u d e n t s , a n d as the M i l l e n n i u m
a p p r o a c h e s , it w i l l c o n t i n u e to
b e c o m e b i g g e r a n d better. " R e a d y
to play a prominent part in the
advancement of the University"
G u i l d s U n i o n , as d e s c r i b e d by
T h e C e n t r a l in 1 9 1 0 .
5 n 9
The State of the Union e
After consultation with one IC
male (who said this column made
me sound 'blonde') I am trying to
sound a bit more 'nails' this week!
A
I don't need to explain again why
we are not NUS, Dave Roberts did it
well last time. Besides he is far more
friendly about the backstabbing gits
that run it than I could ever be. We're
out and it's good for us. We're not
alone in thinking this - other Unions
have left, some never joined! In pre-
vious years there have been ideas on
getting us together as a cohesive
unit. For the first time ever (we think)
we met up last weekend for training
and talks. The most exiting thing was
the suggestion that Northern Services
(a buying consortium which we use,
but that is based in Scotland) could
provide a new southern division. This
could lead to some even better bar-
gains for ICU.
r
Allegedly, Warner Brothers care
about IC students. They are really
sorry that they don't give us a dis-
count at the moment and for their
By Tasha Newton, Imperial College Union President
massively high charging - ahhh.
They care in fact so much that they
are prepared to wait until December
to discuss us at their next pricing
meeting!! Still the Imperial College
Union President is not letting them
forget that 'student discount' means
discounts for students and has sug-
gested they remove their digit from
their lower sphincter. They will now
decide at the meeting whether they
can allow our cards direct or whether
they want to produce a card which
we could hand out for them. (That
was my idea, and you'll believe that
until you read the next paragraph.)
They fully apologise for any incon-
venience and understand if none of
you guys choose to go to Warner's in
the near future. In the mean time they
take ISIC cards, which are available
from STA on the walkway. Can I point
out that Virgin are IC friendly and
cheaper?!
V
This year HMV have been dis-
tributing discount cards, for ALL stu-
dents. They have been sent out via
the NUS to be issued 'in House'. But,
individual branches have extra cards
to issue to non NUS colleges, unfor-
tunately, the local branch's Saturday
staff are slow to get the message and
have been demanding NUS ID. After
a very guick discussion with the man
from HQ, this has all now been sort-
ed with: a memo to ALL branches to
be nice to us and 300 cards which
are winging their way to ICU as I
speak! HMV have also offered their
sincere apologies. HMV discount
cards should be available from the
Union office this week, hurrah.
g
Democracy! Register to vote so
you can choose who runs London for
the time you are here as a student. It
couldn't be easier, just email me and
I'll send you a copy of the slip or pick
up a post card from the office. ULU
will be organising hustings for the
candidates, so if you are interested in
what your mayor will do (or not) for
you, watch this space.
s
At the time this went to press
things were going much better for the
IC student who contracted meningitis
nearer the start of term. I have sent
him a card on behalf of all the stu-
dents of Imperial College Union.
-
Tue 16th Nov
12.00 Services Committee,
Clubs Committee Room.
13.00 A&E Treasurers meeting,
Resource Centre.
1 7.00 VP Question time for the
medics. St Mary's.
20.00 CAG Soup run, meet in
Weeks Hall
Wed 1 7th Nov
11.00 Careers Fair, Beit Quad.
13.00 Academic Afairs Commit-
tee.
Thur 18th Nov
12.30 RCC Treasures meeting,
Resource Centre.
18.00 Executive Committee,
Resource Centre.
20.00 CAG Soup run.
Fri 19th Nov
1 3.00 SCC Treasurers meeting,
Resource Centre.
Student Rights as Consumers / Student Debt
NATIONAL DEMO
25th
November 1999
From U L U to Kennington Park
Assemble outside ULU at 11:00 I f y o u have a disabil i ty making it difficult to get to U L U and back from
Kennington Park, contact K e v i n ( D P ( E & W ) ) on x . 5 8 0 6 4 or dpew@ic.ac .uk
to arrange a place on the minibus.
Event organised by NUS and U L U , supported by /'CU.
0 k x
SLIDING TO SAFETY
This w e e k K e v i n h a s b e e n in N o t t i n g h a m .
W h i l e in Q u e e n ' s M e d i c a l C e n t r e ; a h o s p i t a l
w h i c h is a l s o the h o m e o f v a r i o u s b i o l o g i c a l
a n d m e d i c a l f a c u l t i e s , K e v i n n o t i c e d tha t t h e r e
we re c u r v e d b l a c k p l a s t i c d o o r s in the c o r n e r s
of m a n y of the l a b s . O n a s k i n g a s to the p u r -
p o s e of the d o o r s K e v i n l e a rn t tha t they w e r e
e s c a p e rou tes - no t just y o u r s t a n d a r d f i re ex i t ,
but a m a z i n g l y c o o l c h u t e s , w h i c h in a n e m e r -
g e n c y y o u c o u l d u se to s l i de d o w n t o the
g r o u n d f l o o r a n d to safety.
FREE MOVIES
D u r i n g his t i m e in N o t t i n g h a m , K e v i n s t a yed in
a h o u s e wi th a b u n c h o f s t u de n t s . K e v i n w a s
p l e a s a n t l y s u r p r i s e d t o f i n d tha t his hosts h a d
go t c a b l e T V a n d w a s a b l e t o s p e n d a c o u p l e
of e v e n i n g s w a t c h i n g Sky M o v i e s . Later in the
w e e k K e v i n l ea rn t tha t the m o v i e s w e r e in f a c t
f r e e , c o u r t e s y o f the t e l e c o m m u n i c a t i o n s c o m -
p a n y N T L . NTL> h a s a n a g r e e m e n t wi th the
Un i ve r s i t y t o p r o v i d e a s e r v i c e t o the c a m p u s ,
ha l l s o f r e s i d e n c e , a n d s tuden t s l i v ing e l s e -
w h e r e in the city. In re tu rn f o r b e i n g the s o l e
t e l e c o m m u n i c a t i o n s p r o v i d e r , t he Un ive rs i t y ,
o n b e h a l f o f the s tuden t s h a v e b e e n a b l e t o
n e g o t i a t e a b r i l l i an t d e a l w i th N T L . F o r a
m o n t h l y r e n t a l , w h i c h is c o m p a r a b l e t o that
c h a r g e d f o r a BT ' p h o n e , s tuden t s ge t a
' p h o n e , a n a n s w e r i n g s e r v i c e , a n d c a b l e TV.
C o n n e c t i o n to the c o l l e g e n e t w o r k is a n extra
w h i c h is a l s o a v a i l a b l e . Kev in is w a t c h i n g
m o v i e s , b e c a u s e a s par t of the d e a l the re is a n
o p t i o n to c h o o s e b e t w e e n f ree spo r t s , o r f ree
m o v i e s w h e n y o u s i g n u p . A s a n a d d e d b o n u s
the se r v i c e a l s o g i ves f ree ca l l s to a l l the o t h e r
N T L users in the a r e a , w h i c h u n s u r p r i s i n g l y
c o v e r s pretty m u c h a l l s tuden ts in N o t t i n g h a m .
O n e s t u d e n t ' s c o m m e n t s u m m e d up the b e n e -
fits o f the s y s t e m : " W e a l l use it l o a d s . It cos ts
us ha rd l y a n y t h i n g . "
Mish Mash
A Mostly Harmless Column by Kevin, a random entity who
knows nothing about nothing
ERICSSON EXCUSES
E r i c s s o n , the c o m p a n y c h o s e n t o p r o v i d e c o m -
m u n i c a t i o n se r v i c e s f o r IC is not g o i n g to c o m e
c l o s e t o the leve l o f exce l l en t s tuden t o r i e n t a t -
e d se r v i c e a s is p r o v i d e d at N o t t i n g h a m . A t IC
the sys tem is g o i n g to be e x p e n s i v e . T h e
c h a r g e s a r e g o i n g to be par t i a l l y h i d d e n in ha l l
r en ts , c a l l s w i l l not be p a r t i c u l a r l y c h e e p , a n d
the n e t w o r k wi l l be f a r f r o m c o m p r e h e n s i v e .
Excuses a r e a l r e a d y r e a c h i n g K e v i n . F o r e x a m -
p l e : I C ' s ha l l s a r e o l d , s o m e of t h e m a r e a b o u t
to be s o l d , o r r e f u r b i s h e d so it is not w o r t h
c o n n e c t i n g t h e m - a p p a r e n t l y e v e n S o u t h s i d e
is not g o i n g t o b e in the first p h a s e of c o n n e c -
t i o n s . T h e r e a r e a l s o s u p p o s e d l y d i f f i cu l t i e s at
IC b e c a u s e w e h a v e g o t so m a n y d i s p a r a t e
c a m p u s e s , a n d o u r s tuden t s a r e s p r e a d o u t a l l
o v e r L o n d o n .
In Kev i n ' s o p i n i o n a l l t hese e x c u s e s c o u l d
be a p p l i e d to s o m e d e g r e e at the Un i ve r s i t y o f
N o t t i n g h a m , but t he r e the s tuden t s h a v e b e e n
p r o v i d e d w i th a first ra te s e r v i c e , f o r a very r e a -
s o n a b l e cos t .
O U C H
Su re l y i n t e l l i g en t IC s tuden t s d o not w a l k in to
g l a s s d o o r s a n d b a s h the i r h e a d s o n h u g e stee l
s t a i r c a s e s . H o w e v e r K e v i n has n o t i c e d s teps
h a v e b e e n t a k e n to m a k e the e d g e s o f the
s t a i r c a s e in the B M S f o y e r m o r e v i s i b l e , a s i m -
i l a r a p p r o a c h has b e e n t a k e n w i th the g lass
d o o r s in the H e a l t h C e n t r e w h i c h h a v e a l s o
b e e n m a r k e d . K e v i n c a n o n l y p r e s u m e that
t hese m e a s u r e s h a v e b e e n t a k e n in r e s p o n s e
to i n c i d e n t s - p e r h a p s th is y e a r the Freshers a r e
a m o r e d o p e y b u n c h t h a n u s u a l .
To comment or contribute: http://come.to/mishmash
or email mishmash@ic.ac.uk
O h my g o d ! I C U ' s g o n e a l l p o l i t i -
ca l o n us . B e f o r e y o u a l l ge t
a l a r m e d , Tony hasn ' t s e l e c t e d this
y ea r ' s s a b b s to sit in the " a l l n e w "
H o u s e of Lords (we s h o u l d b e s o
lucky) ; i n s t ead I'm re fe r r i ng to
I C U C o u n c i l ' s d e c i s i o n a c t u a l l y to
s u p p o r t s o m e t h i n g (we l l , t h e r e ' s a
first t im e f o r eve ry th ing ) .
A n d w h a t is to be the event
w h i c h c a u s e s c o u n c i l to lose its
c o l l e c t i v e p o l i t i c a l v i rg in i t y ? W h y ,
the N U S n a t i o n a l d e m o n s t r a t i o n
a g a i n s t tu i t i on f ees . O f c o u r s e .
H a n g o n : tu i t i on fees a r e b a d ,
a ren ' t they ? W e s h o u l d be r e j o i c -
ing in the streets , s h o u l d n ' t w e ?
W e l l , m a y b e yes a n d m a y b e n o :
let 's wa i t a n d see . . . . O h , sorry , I
m e a n " p r e p a r e a n d d e c i d e " .
W h i l e I d o n ' t w a n t t o ge t in to
the tu i t i on f ee a r g u m e n t , it s e e m s
tha t I C U s u d d e n l y d o e s , t h a n k s to
a little p r o d f r o m e q u a l o p p o r t u n i -
t ies o f f i c e r G e o r g e C o n s t a n t i n i d e s .
A n d it 's this s u d d e n a b o u t - f a c e
tha t w o r r i e s m e .
W h i l e it 's true that o v e r the
years I C U C o u n c i l has b e e n re l i -
a b l y a s du l l a s the p r o v e r b i a l d i s h -
water , it has m e a n t that t h i ngs c a n
b e d i s c u s s e d r e a s o n a b l y , a n d
(shock) that m e e t i n g s c a n be r e l a -
t ive ly q u i c k a n d c lear . T h e N U S ,
o n the o t h e r h a n d , has b e e n c o n -
sistent ly s tuf fed fu l l o f the k i nd of
l o o n i e s tha t m a k e Red K e n l o o k
l ike H i m m l e r . It is f o r p rec i se l y this
r e a s o n that I C U has t r ad i t i ona l l y
h a t e d the N U S wi th a p a s s i o n of
w h i c h G a r y G l i t t e r w o u l d be
p r o u d .
T h e po i n t is that C o u n c i l gets
its way , w h a t e v e r it wan t s . G e t the
" r i g h t " p e o p l e o n , a n d y o u c a n
f o r c e I C U to b l o w g r e a t b i g
w o d g e s of c a s h o n v i r tua l l y a n y -
t h i n g y o u l i k e . T h u s , t h e r e is
a b s o l u t e l y N O c o n n e c t i o n
b e t w e e n ce r t a in new m e m b e r s o f
c o u n c i l this year , a n d I C U " d e c i d -
i n g " to s p e n d y o u r m o n e y o n
a d v e r t i s i n g the N U S m a r c h a g a i n s t
tu i t ion fees . O h n o .
A f t e r a l l , this p a r t i c u l a r ho r se
b o l t e d 18 m o n t h s a g o , so h o w
m u c h g o o d is it g o i n g to be to
m a r c h in to L o n d o n now, s h o u t i n g
" h e r e horsey h o r s e y " ? Let 's not
fo rge t that this m a r c h is b e i n g
o r g a n i s e d by the s a m e g r o u p
w h i c h h e l p e d Tony to u n l o c k that
very s t ab l e d o o r .
T h i n k i n g a b o u t it, t h o u g h , it 's
not that s u r p r i s i n g . D o u g T ra i ne r
w a s N U S p re s i den t b a c k t hen : a
p o s i t i o n p r e v i o u s l y o c c u p i e d by
J a c k St raw, S t even T w i g g , J i m M u r -
phy a n d L o r n a F i t z s i m m o n s . Just
l ike t h e m , he ' s u s i n g it as a s t ep-
p i n g s tone in to p a r l i a m e n t . The
on l y d i f f e r e n c e b e t w e e n h i m a n d
t h e m is that they v o t e d a g a i n s t
t u i t i on fees w h i l e s tuden t s , w a i t i n g
unt i l t hey w e r e in g o v e r n m e n t
b e f o r e b e c o m i n g h y p o c r i t i c a l a n d
t w o - f a c e d . I'm t e l l i n g y o u , T ra ine r
wi l l g o far.
A n d the m o r a l o f this story?
W h e n g r o u p s p u r p o r t i n g t o r e p r e -
sent s tuden ts start p l a y i n g in the
m u r k y w o r l d o f p o l i t i c s , they s o o n
sel l the i r c r ed ib i l i t y f o r a few c o i n s .
T h o s e m e m b e r s o f I C U C o u n c i l
w h o lust a f te r a m o r e po l i t i c a l
f o r u m s h o u l d l e a r n the l e s son of
S t raw a n d his m a t e s : A b a n d o n
m o r a l s , a l l ye w h o en te r he re .
RECRUITING NOW!
H E A L T H Y V O L U N T E E R S
V O L U N T E E R S WITH M I L D A S T H M A OR H A Y F E V E R
R E Q U I R E D FOR A FIBREOPTIC
B R O N C H O S C O P Y S T U D Y
The s t u d y i n v o l v e s t w o b r o n c h o s c o p i e s p e r f o r m e d at a o n e
w e e k i n t e r v a l . D u r i n g t h e i n t e r v e n i n g p e r i o d , s u b j e c t s w i l l
t a k e a n o r a l g l u c o c o r t i c o i d (steroid) in c u r r e n t c l i n i c a l us e or
a n i d e n t i c a l d u m m y (placebo) c o n t r o l .
B r o n c h o a l v e o l a r lavage w i l l be p e r f o r m e d a n d a m a x i m u m of
s i x b r o n c h i a l b i o p s i e s t a k e n d u r i n g e a c h b r o n c h o s c o p y .
The p u r p o s e of t h e s t u d y is t o i n v e s t i g a t e m e c h a n i s m s of
a c t i o n of o r a l g l u c o c o r t i c o i d s .
A n a p p r o p r i a t e h o n o u r a r i u m w i l l be p a i d in r e c o g n i t i o n of
t h e t i m e a n d i n c o n v e n i e n c e i n v o l v e d .
If i n t e r e s t e d , p leas e c o n t a c t :
DR S F S M I T H (0181 8 4 6 1 2 2 6 s u e . s m i t h @ i c . a c . u k ) OR
M R A M K A M A L (0181 8 4 6 7 1 7 3 a h m a d . k a m a l @ i c . a c . u k )
D E P A R T M E N T OF R E S P I R A T O R Y M E D I C I N E
C H A R I N G C R O S S C A M P U S
f o r f u r t h e r i n f o r m a t i o n A S A P
2 k x
FELIX S S I l I I S J
Mimm Stuff
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i M M M M MM f f i i j /V
: .M.;, M^M'M- ' 594 8072
M ' , , 111- 'he l ix
'•ail:
U n i o n M e d i a G r o u p a n d is
pr in ted at M C P L i tho L im i ted ,
Jn i ts B2 & B 3 , H a t t o n S q u a r e ,
16 - 1 6 a Ba ldw ins G a r d e n s ,
L o n d o n E C 1 N 7RJ
: e l ix is a reg i s te red n e w s p a p e r ;
I SSN 1 0 4 0 - 0 7 1 1
C o p y r i g h t i Felix 1 9 9 9 -
ISLAMOPHOBIA?
D e a r Sir,
Imag ine if Hi t ler had c l a i m e d to
be a Ch r i s t i an . Imag ine if he had
c l a i m e d that N a z i v iews a n d po lc ies
were Chr i s t r i an t each ings . W o u l d we
refer to h im (or other fascists) as
Chr i s t i an fundamenta l i s t s , fanat ics
o r extremists? A l m o s t certainly not
b e c a u s e we k n o w that fascist th ink-
ing g o e s a g a i n s t true C h r i s t i a n
t e a c h i n g a n d thus that his c l a ims to
be Chr i s t i an were fa lse .
So why is that Felix has d e c i d e d
to insult the s o m e 3 0 0 M u s l i m s tu-
dents a n d staff at IC by dec l a r i ng on
the front p a g e that i C U C o u n c i l
M e e t i n g is u n d e r threat f r om " I s l am-
i c " f u n d a m e n t a l i s t s ? T h e s e a n d
other w a c k o g roups may wel l be
" f u n d a m e n t a l i s t " , " e x t r e m e i s t " o r
" f a n a t i c a l " but the message they
convey is not Is lamic.
O f c o u r s e , wh i l e we m igh t
deserve a n a p o l o g y , we p robab l y
can ' t expect one . After a l l , the Run-
n y m e d e Trust in 1 9 9 7 pub l i shed a
d e t a i l e d repor t o n the e n d e m i c
nature of I s l a m o p b o b i a in the British
m e d i a a n d has set up a c o m m i s s i o n
to m o n i t o r it. Virtual ly a day goes by
without s o m e newspape r report of
s o m e d o d g y g r o u p c l a i m i n g to be
Is lamic w h o are then por t rayed as
such . H o l y w o o d f i lms such as True
Lies (which portray M u s l i m s as ter-
rorists) don ' t he lp m u c h either. The
a v e r a g e Br i ton's steoretype of a
M u s l i m is a n A r a b o r A s i a n b r a n d i n g
a ka l a shn ikov out to kill all the Jew-
ish p e o p l e they c a n f ind .
In fact, I s l a m a p h o b i a is not just
a British p h e n o m e n o n but a w o r l d -
w ide p r o b l e m . So m u c h so that it
has e n a b l e d p e o p l e l ike S o l b o d a n
M i l o s e v i c to exploi t pub l i c sent iment
by g a i n i n g p o p u l a r suppor t , in their
o w n country, for " e t h n i c " c l eans ing
of M u s l i m s in Bosn i a a n d K o s o v a .
W e n o w see Russian leaders explo i t-
ing their o w n c i t izens ' I s l a m a p h o b i a
in exactly the s a m e way to ga in s u p -
port fo r s l aughte r ing m o r e M u s l i m s
in C h e c h e n y a . These pract ices a re ,
of cou r se , very s imi la r to those used
by Hi t ler in G e r m a n y to g a i n p o p u -
lar suppor t for the persect ion of
Jews.
W h a t we c a n expect f r o m Felix,
however, is c l ea r repor t ing wh i ch
breaks d o w n stereotypes rather than
s t rengthening t hem. Islam is n o w the
s e c o n d most w ide ly prac t i sed re l i-
g i o n in Britain (and i ndeed the rest
of the wor ld ) . Fo l lowers c o m e f r om
al l wa lks of life a n d it is neither
f ana t i ca l no r exteremist. Its m e s -
s a g e , however, is often distorted by
s o m e p e o p l e c l a i m i n g to be M u s -
lims for their o w n pol i t i ca l ends
(especial ly w h e n a n ignoran t b o d y
of p e o p l e c a n be explo i ted) . I trust
that G a r e t h M o r g a n wi l l , in future,
m a k e a more app rop r i a t e c h o i c e of
w o r d s w h e n d e s c r i b i n g extremist
g r o u p s wh i ch c l a im to Is lamic but
convey a very different m e s s a g e .
Yours faithfully,
M u s t a f a Arif
ISE 1
WATERSTONES SURVEY
D e a r Felix,
I w o u l d like to start ano the r d i s-
cuss ion . Waters tones is a wonder fu l
s h o p wh i ch gets al l the b o o k s the
students n e e d a n d o n t ime t o o /
Waters tones is a terr ible s h o p wh i ch
gets mass ive a d v a n t a g e of be ing o n
c a m p u s a n d yet gives noth ing in
return.
[* De le te as a p p l i c a b l e . G a m e on.]
C h e e r s ,
Tasha ,
I C U President
CHRISTIAN U N I O N
D e a r Felix,
Fo l l ow ing last w e e k ' s front p a g e
art ic le, I w o u l d like to set the r e co rd
straight on the pos i t ion of the C h r i s -
t ian U n i o n towards m e m b e r s h i p of
Imperia l C o l l e g e U n i o n .
The Chr i s t i an U n i o n at Imperia l
C o l l e g e is entirely run by IC s tu-
dents, a n d is aff i l iated with C U s at
most other U K Universi t ies. W e are
f u n d e d entirely by o u r current a n d
f o r m e r m e m b e r s , a n d are o p e n to
al l m e m b e r s of IC - eve ryone is very
w e l c o m e to al l C U events.
The C U a ims to u p h o l d B ib l i ca l
Chr ist ianity , so it is essent ia l that this
is u ph e l d by the society off icers. For
this r e a s o n al l o u r off icers s ign a
wide ly a c c e p t e d d e c l a r a t i o n of fa i th,
wh i ch is why w e a re not currently a n
I C U society.
Peter M i d d l e t o n
Ch r i s t i an U n i o n President
VOICE O F REASON RETURNS
D e a r D a v e ,
Ha t i ng d i n g - d o n g battles o n the
letters p a g e as I d o , I'll be brief.
B r eakpo in t , this is my f ina l w o r d
before they na i l the lid b a c k d o w n
o n my cof f in . Firstly, the med i cs d id
read my c o l u m n , wh i ch is why so
m any of them t o o k o f fence . S e c o n d -
ly, the U n i o n fed m e remarkab l y lit-
tle in fo rmat ion- fa lse o r otherwise-
ove r the course of my t ime ; whi le
m e m b e r s of Sher f ie ld wil l s ing like
cana r i e s , gett ing juicy titbits out of
most o f I C U is m u c h less s imple .
Thirdly, my letter, if you reca l l , m e r e -
ly stated that at tacks o n the U n i o n
s h o u l d be unde r t aken caut iously , not
a v o i d e d entirely. For m e to c l a im
that the U n i o n s h o u l d no t be
a t tacked in Felix is a b o u t as bel iev-
ab l e as G e o r g e Best be ing a front-
m a n fo r A l c o h o l i c s A n o n y m o u s .
Finally, I have never been in the
pocke t o f any U n i o n of f i c ia l . I may
have got o n a m i c a b l y with severa l of
t h e m , but then I have h a d a pint with
Ian C a l d w e l l . Nuf f s a i d .
I shou ldn ' t real ly be wri t ing this.
It doesn ' t o f f end me , but it was a tad
w ide of the mark . Last w e e k ' s c o l -
u m n was very g o o d , t h o u g h if you
meet me d o w n Sou ths ide , I'll tell you
w h o the real f ront runner is fo r the
Rector 's job . H e e p s was c lose , but
the preferred c h o i c e is a little more
surpr is ing .
G o o d night a n d G o d bless
S i m o n Bake r
C h e m P G
The deadline for letters intended for publication is Wednesday 12 noon - drop into the porta-
cabins or email felix@ic.ac.uk. Letters may be edited for length but not grammar or spelling.
5 k 3
STUDENT BODIES
D e a r Editor,
W e were o f f ended by the art icle
in last week ' s In Brief o n p a g e two of
Felix. The au tho r sugges ted that no-
o n e at IC ' h a d it in t h e m ' w h e n
referr ing to the M a t h s c o u p l e c a u g h t
in f l agrante de l i c to in their l o cke r
r o o m .
D o e s the Editor not think it is
d e m e a n i n g to the students here at
IC to have their o w n student news-
p a p e r put t hem d o w n as u n a d v e n -
turous w h e n we a l r eady have to put
up with insults f r om the rest of the
country ' s student body ?
W e assure you that this is not a
solitary e x a m p l e a n d the maths c o u -
ple shou ld not be m a d e a spec tac le
of in a p a p e r with such a w ide a u d i -
ence .
M a y b e the Edi tor has hea rd of
coup l e s using such p l a ces as the
m a i n library, o r even the Sherf ie ld
bu i ld ing for uses o ther than those
the bu i ld ings were i n tended for ?
O b v i o u s l y not. A wa lk a r o u n d
c a m p u s may o p e n the Ed i tor ' s eyes
to the m o r e exc i t ing aspec t s of
Imperial C o l l e g e .
H a p p y hunt ing ,
R S M II
S H O P STRIFE
D e a r Sir,
It was interesting to be r e m i n d -
ed of this year ' s g r a d u a t i o n by the
a c c o u n t in Felix a few issues a g o
because as wel l as be ing the e d i -
tor 's g r a d u a t i o n , it was a l so my
f r iend 's . Imag ine h o w joyous this
o c c a s i o n is: the p r o u d fami ly l o o k -
ing o n , the p h o t o g r a p h s , the pres-
ents a n d the g r a d u a t i o n c a r d with
" c o n g r a t u l a t i o n s " i n s c r i b e d . N o t ,
however, if on e were to visit I C U
s h o p .
A week be fore g r a d u a t i o n , I
went to buy al l the a s s o c i a t e d m e m -
o r a b i l i a , i.e. t ies , t e d d i e s a n d
scarves to r emind the g r a d u a t e of
his past life at Imper ia l a l o n g with a
g r a d u a t i o n c a r d . Q u i t e a c o m m o n
o c c u r r e n c e , g r a d u a t i o n , espec ia l l y
at a c o l l e g e o n e might be l ead to
be l ieve but not o n e s ing le c a r d was
ava i l ab l e at the s h o p . After a s k i n g , I
was to ld they might be o r d e r e d but
the staff s e e m e d m o r e interested in
i gno r i ng the request for f ea r of stick-
ing m o r e pr ice tags o n t-shirts. O n
the M o n d a y be fore g r a d u a t i o n , I
was to ld the g r a d u a t i o n items w o u l d
be i n c l uded in stock a n d visited
a g a i n but to no ava i l but was to ld
sanctuary was a va i l ab l e o n the day
in the U n i o n with a little stal l . N o
such luck - it was only T-shirts a n d
m u g s .
H o w c a n a s imp le ca rd like
g r a d u a t i o n be omi t ted f r om stocks
at G r a d u a t i o n t ime? If I wan t ed to
buy a c a rd f r om I C U s h o p o n p r a c -
tical ly any other subject , I c o u l d d o
so , even if I wan t ed to m a k e i nde-
cent p roposa l s I c o u l d d o so f r om
the vast co l l ec t ion a v a i l a b l e ! Let
o ther IC students join in the c e l e b r a -
t ion of their pee r ' s exce l lence at
l eav ing Imperia l a n d not say, " O h ,
sorry, I C U s h o p cou ldn ' t be assed to
stock it "
Yours faithfully,
I C U Shop ' s best cus tomer
A N D FINALLY...
D e a r Felix
I w o u l d like to c o m m e n d you on
the improvemen t s m a d e within the
reviews p a g e s this year. The breadth
a n d dep th ac ross fhe w h o l e of the
mus i c , c l u b b i n g , f i lm , b o o k s a n d
arts wor ld is to be a p p l a u d e d . I
w o u l d espec ia l l y like to men t i on the
B la i r W i t ch feature a n d the diverse
c lub a n d art features that have f e a -
ture gay a n d fetish themes . I was
therefore a p p a l l e d w h e n I read the
s lat ing Felix rece ived in Prince A lber t
this week . N o t only were the insults
ill t hought out, but the text content
was worse than the ch i ld ish rants
that I have somet imes seen in the
C & G rag - G u i l d s h e e t . The writers
of this m a g a z i n e obv ious have a
n u m b e r of p rob l e m s , the first is
be ing happy to c o m e to an op in i o n
based on noth ing less than pre judice
a n d the s e c o n d is be ing obsessed
with rude words (very clever).
Yours with love
Ben J ames (not my real name)
M e d i c i n e 4
PS. P lease put my s leepless nights at
end - w h o is this a m a z i n g girl [see
editorial, 1156 ] . I've spent a l l last
week sea r ch ing fo r her.
All complaints should be addressed to the Editor. If no satisfactory
reply is received, contact ICU Exec via the Union President
Oof ©Li /cll^ L A T E N T M E D I A BIAS
First of a l l this w e e k , a m a s s i v e
a p o l o g y to M u s t a f a A r i f a n d a n y -
o n e e lse w h o f o u n d l as t w e e k ' s
f ron t p a g e l e a d to b e o f f e n s i v e .
M u s t a f a r a i s e s a n i n t e r e s t i ng p in t
t ha t a p p l i e s not just to s o - c a l l e d
" I s l a m i c " f u n d a m e n t a l i s t s but , o n
a b r o a d e r c a n v a s s , t o a n y f o r m
of s u p p o s e d l y r e l i g i o n - b a s e d
t e r r o r i s m o r e x t r e m i s m . A f t e r a l l ,
t o t h e best o f my k n o w l e d g e ,
t h e r e is n o m a j o r r e l i g i o n o n t h e
p l a n e t that a c t u a l l y c o n d o n e s (let
a l o n e a d v o c a t e s ) the m u r d e r of
o t h e r s ( n o n - b e l i e v e r s , s i n n e r s ,
wha teve r ) - a n d yet , t h r o u g h o u t
h istory , r e l i g i o n has b e e n the
c a u s e o f m o r e a n d b l o o d i e r w a r s
t h a n a n y t h i n g o r a n y o n e e l s e .
S o , (to ge t b a c k to the po in t )
b o t h myse l f a n d G a r e t h a p o l o -
g i s e un rese r ved l y . W e t e rm t h e m
" I s l a m i c " s i m p l y b e c a u s e they d o
so t h e m s e l v e s , not ou t of any
s e n s e o f a b u s e o r d i s c r i m i n a t i o n .
- i n d e e d the b i g g e s t p r o b l e m
wi th f i n d i n g a n a d e q u a t e t e r m i -
n o l o g y f o r these g r o u p s is the
f a c t tha t i t 's very h a r d to f i n d o u t
w h a t they d o b e l i e v e i n .
A s a f i n a l p o i n t , I d o t a k e the
s u g g e s t i o n tha t I a m I s l a m o p h o -
b i c ve ry p e r s o n a l l y , but I h o p e
this rep ly w i l l h e l p to c h a n g e
y o u r m i n d .
C A M P U
T h e v a r i o u s s h o p p i n g f a c i l i t i e s
o f f e r e d o n c a m p u s h a v e b e e n o n
my m i n d a lot this w e e k . O n the
o p p o s i t e p a g e y o u ' l l f i n d c o m -
men t s o n b o t h W a t e r s t o n e ' s a n d -
the I C U S h o p , a n d in v a r i o u s
d i s c u s s i o n s I've h a d w i th C o l l e g e
staff this w e e k , W a t e r s t o n e s a n d
' h e C o m p u t e r C e n t r e S h o p in
M e c h E n g h a v e b e e n f r e q u e n t
t o p i c s o f d e b a t e .
A l l o f t hese se r v i ces h a v e a
ve ry p o w e r f u l p o s i t i o n o n c a m -
p u s , p e r h a p s n o n e m o r e so t h a n
W a t e r s t o n e ' s . H a v i n g w o n a ve ry
p r e s t i g i o u s c o n t r a c t n e a r l y t h r ee
y e a r s a g o ( u s u r p i n g t h e o l d
U n i o n b o o k s t o r e ) , W a t e r s t o n c ' s
p r o m i s e d to e s t a b l i s h a w e l l
s t o c k e d , c o m p e t i t i v e a n d p ro f e s-
rv i ce t ha t w o u l d a c t as
n a l a c a d e m i c f l a g s h i p
o a n d a h a l f yea r s a f te r
o p e n e d , w h e r e d o w e
e l v e s ? W e l l , a s i d e f r o m
JS n o w b e e n u n c e r e m o -
u m p e d in f a v o u r o f o n e
e n o u g h b o o k s . N o w , l m sor ry ,
bu t it s e e m s to m e tha t if y o u ' r e
r u n n i n g a b o o k s t o r e o n a u n i v e r -
sity c a m p u s if m i g h t b e w i s e to
s t o c k su f f i c i en t q u a n t i t i e s of the
c o r e first y e a r text b o o k s , if n o t h -
i n g e l s e . It's p a t e n t l y o b v i o u s
tha t at l e a s t t h r e e - q u a r t e r s of the
n e w i n t a k e w i l l a l w a y s b u y at
l eas t o n e r e c o m m e n d e d b o o k
w i t h i n the f i rs t t w o w e e k s ( a n d
t h e n l e a v e it t o f e s t e r o n the she l f
unt i l they r e a l i s e , t h r e e y ea r s
la ter , t h a t they c a n ' t r e m e m b e r
the S e c o n d L a w o f T h e r m o d y -
n a m i c s a n y m o r e ) - so why, f o r
p i t y ' s P s a k e , d o e s W a t e r s t o n e ' s
s t o ck . O f c o u r s e , w h e t h e r o r n o t
f i l l i ng ha l f the s h o p w i th f i c t i o n
a n d t r a ve l t i t les h e l p s is d e b a t -
m i n i m u m o f a s e r v i c e that w e
s h o u l d e x p e c t . A g o o d c a m p u s
b o o k s t o r e w o u l d use i t ' s p u r -
c h a s i n g p o w e r (a f e w h u n d r e d
c o p i e s m i g h t n o t b e m u c h in f i c -
t i o n t e r m s , bu t in t e r m s of a c a -
d e m i c texts i t ' s h u g e ) t o n e g o t i -
a t e g o o d d i s c o u n t s a n d s e n s i b l e
s tuden t p r i c e s - m u c h l i ke the o l d
U n i o n B o o k s t o r e u s e d t o . It
( s h o c k , h o r r o r ) c o u l d a c t u a l l y
o f f e r s o m e h e l p f u l a d v i c e .
S o , n o w I've f i n i s h e d my
ran t , w h a t d o y o u a l l t h i n k ? O K ,
so the c o n t r a c t m i g h t no t b e u p
w h e r e w h e n i t ' s t i m e t o b u y the
next l u d i c r o u s l y o v e r - p r i c e d text
W a t e r s t o n e ' s , I 'm w a i t i n g f o r
' :::» •
%t V :
I P
fVfAY
WIN *50 CASH (COURTESY OF
OA A CRATE OF LAGER. FREE TO ENTER
THE ORIGINAL AND BEST
Y O U * UNION - RUNNING THE M H H H H H H N H
Wednesday 17th at 7pm B A R F R O M 5 p m
BlilgtoDDCa]
TUESDAY I M I;
F STA TRAVEL)
S c o t l a n d SCREENS
& e hall
1 BIG GAME 3 BIG SCPr
.... .. .^ . - - . Iw.>r^" ;
Si
«HS - Si
Ion - Pun for You
15 1999
M ^ w 1
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O h dear. W e ' r e only in the
sixth week of a thirty o n e
week year a n d the b a c k l a s h
a g a i n s t Fel ix has b e g u n
a g a i n . S a d l y f o r m e , the
reviews sec t ion a lways seems
to b a r e the brunt of this
abuse . However , insults such
as everything we review is
u n h e a r d of is just p l a i n
w r o n g . If the s landerers h a d
b o t h e r e d to e x a m i n e the
review p a g e s of Felix in recent
weeks they 'd have seen inter-
views, reviews a n d c o m p e t i -
tions invo lv ing s o m e of the
most m a i n s t r e a m artists in
mus i c , f i lms, art a n d b o o k s .
This week a g a i n sees a n o t h e r
s torming line- up . For a start
in the two fo l l ow ing c o l u m n s
we see reviews of the new
F o o F ighters a n d M a r i o h
C a r e y a l b u m s - a n d w h o c a n
c o m p l a i n a b o u t that?
... frequency...
ifs rubbish,
nobody reads it?
With the rest of this s p a c e I'd
like to m a k e a n o t h e r p l e a for
peop l e interested in wri t ing
mus i c art ic les fo r Felix. C l u b
writers a re espec ia l l y ha rd to
c o m e by a n d if a n y o n e is
interested in wri t ing in g o i n g
c l u b b i n g for free for the sma l l
e x c h a n g e of a short art ic le
a b o u t the night then I'd be
m o r e than h a p p y to have
you . If you ' re interested just
p o p a l o n g to the Felix Por ta-
cab ins for ou r mus i c mee t ings
at 1 2 . 3 0 p m on Tuesdays a n d
we ' l l sort it out.
Foo Fighters
There Is Nothing Left To Lose
(Roswell/RCA)
W h a t h a v e y o u r h e r o e s b e e n ? A c t o r s ? P o l i t i c i a n s ? S p o r t s m e n a n d
s p o r t s w o m e n ? O u t s t a n d i n g sc ien t i s t s a n d b u s i n e s s m e n ? Ba l l s t o a l l
tha t . M y h e r o e s h a v e a l w a y s b e e n m u s i c i a n s . N o t y o u r p o n c y l a c k of
s u b s t a n c e b o y b a n d s o r t h o s e m o r e t h a n use l e s s o n e - h i t - w o n d e r s ,
bu t p r o p e r k i ck-ass don ' t -g i ve-a-sh i t s t a r s : J i m m y P a g e , Kur t C o b a i n ,
J im i H e n d r i x , F l e a - a l l t h o s e wi th a p r e s e n c e a n d a t t i t u d e . T h e F o o
F i g h t e r s ' D a v e G r o h l is u p the r e t o o - he's g o t to b e . F r o m p o w e r -
h o u s e d r u m m i n g w i th y o u - k n o w - w h o , to l a y i n g d o w n the F o o F i gh t-
ers' 1 9 9 5 d e b u t a l o n e , he's m o r e t h a n just a s l i gh t l y m o t i v a t e d b l o k e .
Th i s la tes t o f f e r i n g f r o m the F o o s is m o r e of that d r i v e n p o w e r p o p
that they 've m a d e the i r o w n .
I r e a d s o m e w h e r e tha t the F o o F igh te r s m i s s e d the m a r k wi th The re
Is Nothing Left To Lose b e c a u s e i f s t o o u p b e a t to b e g r u n g e . C a n w e
p l e a s e set the r e c o r d s t r a i gh t : T H E R E IS N O S U C H T H I N G A S
G R U N G E . I nven ted to c r e a t e a n i c h e a n d se l l r e c o r d s ; 'nuff s a i d . A n d
n o , this a l b u m isn't tha t Sea t t l e s o u n d tha t s e r v e d D a v e G r o h l so w e l l
in the pas t - I'm su re he d o e s n ' t w a n t it t o b e .
W e k i ck off as w e m e a n to g o o n wi th the h u g e c h o r u s of S t a c k e d
Actors. I h a d this o n my W a l k m a n a n d e n d e d up d a n c i n g a l o n g the
street l i ke a l u n a t i c , a su re s i g n of a p r e m i u m t u n e . T h e d r u m s p l a y
a l a r g e pa r t in the F o o F igh te rs ' s o u n d , p o s s i b l y b e c a u s e that 's w h a t
D a v e G r o h l s t a r t ed w i t h , but I a l w a y s f i n d the d r u m l i n e s a r e tha t l it-
t le bit m o r e i n v o l v i n g a n d s u b s e q u e n t l y the s o n g s a r e g i v e n a g r e a t e r
d e p t h . That ' s no t t o say a n y o t h e r pa r t o f the t r a c k is n e g l e c t e d ; the
g u i t a r s h a v e a d i s t i n c t i v e w a r m , fuzzy o v e r d r i v e a n d in D a v e G r o h l ' s
v o i c e there ' s a h a r s h e d g e to the soft g e n t l e n e s s as d e m o n s t r a t e d to
g o o d e f fec t o n Live-In Skin.
T h e r e a r e so m a n y t r a c k s w o r t h y of b e i n g s i n g l e s o n T h e r e Is... I'm
s u r p r i s e d t he r e we ren ' t t w o a l b u m s r e l e a s e d . T h e r e rea l l y isn't a n y
f i l ler . Generator h a s a g r e a t T a l k b o x ef fect o n l e a d gu i t a r , Next Year
is a s u p e r b s o n g to l e a d us in to Autumn w i th i f s wis t fu l lyr ics a n d
A u r o r a is in a s i m i l a r c a v e r n o u s v e i n t o February Stars.
T h e F o o F igh te r s h a v e b r o u g h t us a b e a u t i f u l t h i rd a l b u m , a m o r e
p o p p y s o u n d but a r o u n d e d o n e t o o . They ' l l b e a r o u n d f o r a w h i l e
yet , bu t I w o u l d n ' t e x p e c t a n y less f r o m a m a n w h o has the b a n d ' s
l o g o t a t t o o e d o n the b a c k of his n e c k .
Marian Carey
Rainbow
(Columbia)
O h , M a r i a h , M a r i a h , M a r i a h . Back so
s o o n ? I'm not genera l ly of the s choo l of
thought that thinks that if anything is p o p u -
lar it must by def init ion be b a d , but I heard
a n interesting statistic the other day that
has started to c h a n g e my m i n d . It was that
M a r i a h C a r e y is the best sel l ing fema le
artist of the 1 9 9 0 s , has so ld over 1 1 5 m i l -
l ion a l b u m s . I m e a n , w h o bought these
a l bums? W h e r e are they a n d why are they
still a l l owed their statutory rights?
That M s C a r e y shou ld outsell M a d o n n a ,
Whi tney Hous ton o r even her musica l
nemesis C e l i n e D i o n is unbe l ievab le . I
admi t that in the past she has re leased
s o m e fairly g o o d singles, notably H e r o , (7/
Be There a n d . . .er. . .anyway, she c a n cer-
tainly Sing (she's a voca l r ange of 8 octaves
you know). F ine, but the point is, shou ld we
buy this a l b u m for mus ica l p leasure or
because it is ab l e to c o m m u n i c a t e within
the hear ing range of next door 's d o g ?
Ra inbow sees M a r i a h co l l abo ra t i ng with
many R 'n' B superstars but this is not an
a l b u m for R 'n' B fans. The first track Heart
Broker begins in typical M a r i a h style with
all the usual voca l ac robat i cs but then we
get a somewha t unexpected rap interlude
halfway th rough . Finally, it's back to M a r i -
a h . It really just doesn't work . She shou ld
stick to her ep ic ba l l ads - they at least suit
her style. The persona l a n d understated
me lody of Petals is the nearest she gets to
this but the rest, I'm a f ra id , just bo red me .
She may be trying to move with the times
but ifs doubtfu l if all the mi l l ions w h o (for
whatever reason) love her, will want to
move with her.
• Christian Rachael
5 c
y
Mere
Mere
ICJ
It's the vo i ce . U n i q u e , inst inctu-
a l , lively, but most of al l it's fear-
less. M e r z ( C o n r a d Lambert)
has a wonder fu l array of tunes ,
but instead of mess ing them
a r o u n d in o rde r to m a k e it
interest ing, they're innovat ive ly
embe l l i shed to g o r g e o u s effect.
This m e a n s you ' re g o i n g to
hear a b u n c h of th ings you
don ' t a lways get f r o m y o u r
usual p o p a l b u m . Lotus beg ins
with a brass b a n d p i ck i ng out a
lone ly tune , be fo re c o m p u t -
er ised b reakbea t s p ick up the
t e m p o , f o l l owed by that v o i c e .
The gospe l cho i r in C C C o n -
sc ious gives way to chunky per-
cuss i on , sque lchy bass a n d a
keen ing v o c a l . A l t h o u g h these
are seeming l y d i spa ra t e a n d
c o n t r a s t i n g e l e m e n t s , every
s o n g sounds incred ib ly c o h e -
sive.
This a l b u m sounds so o r i g i na l
a n d a l i ve . M u s i c has recently
been f ind ing new a n d exc i t ing
ways to diversify a n d m e r g e ,
but never to such joyful extent
as it d o e s here . Everything f r o m
t e c h n o , d r u m 'n' bass , fo lk , jazz,
e lec t ro , i n d i e . . . (the list c o u l d
g o o n forever) is a b s o r b e d a n d
fearlessly i m p l e m e n t e d to c re-
ate s o m e t h i n g un ique . But best
of a l l , the tunes are g o o d . N o t
just g o o d , fantast ic . I ndeed ,
there's a w h o l e new w o r l d out
there. Let M e r z into you r life.
Rage Against The Machine
The Battle of LA.
(Epic)
R A A A A A A A A A A A A G E ! S o m e h o w , these boys a re still ang r y af ter
th ree a l b u m s . W h i c h m a k e s m e h a p p y - as it w o u l d have b e e n a l i t o o
easy f o r R a g e to sel l out - b e c o m e a l l pos t rock a n d n o n - a b r a s i v e .
But they still rock .
If you d idn ' t l ike R a g e b e f o r e , this a l b u m won ' t e n d e a r t h e m to you in
any s p e c i a l n e w way. But if, l ike m e , you l o v e d to l isten to a b a n d with
a bit of integr i ty ra the r t han the u s u a l m o n e y g r a b b i n g l a y a b o u t s then
this wi l l be r ight up y o u r street. The t rack l ist ing says it a l l rea l ly -
Calm A s B o m b , Vo i c e O f The Voiceless, Born As Ghosts a n d Broken
Man b e i n g s o m e of the m o r e m e l l o w t it les. But it rea l ly isn't a b o u t the
t i t les, it's a l l a b o u t the d e p t h of rea l e m o t i o n that g o e s into these
s o n g s - the way they s m a c k you in the f a c e a n d m a k e you th ink wh i l e
ge t t ing you m o s h i n g r o u n d the r o o m as we l l . I defy a n y o n e to l isten
to Sleep Now In The Fire o n ful l v o l u m e a n d not end up b o u n c i n g off
the w a l l s .
The r e a s o n they a r e still the s a m e af ter a l l these years is that the sys-
tems that they we re o r i g i n a l l y p ro tes t ing a g a i n s t still exists. Further, as
f a r as Rage a re c o n c e r n e d , in m a n y cases these systems h a v e
b e c o m e e ven m o r e ex t r eme a n d unjust . W e s h o u l d be a l i this angry .
But this isn't a po l i t i c a l f o r u m , so o n with the c r i t i que . A f te r l i s ten ing
to this a l b u m a c o u p l e of t i m e s , mos t U S (and US i n f l uenced ) r o ck
b a n d s s o u n d e d h o p e l e s s l y w e e d y a n d a p a t h e t i c . I s u p p o s e not every-
o n e wan ts to be m a d e to th ink wh i l e r o c k i n g out , but I th ink it's very
r e f r e sh ing to h e a r it - even if y o u don ' t s u b s c r i b e to the i r s t ance .
The s a m e r o c k / f u n k / i n d u s t r i a l / r a p style is very m u c h in e v i d e n c e ,
a n d the re ' s s o m e spa rks of r e g g a e (yes, that's r e g g a e ) , e l e c t r o n i c a
(as the yanks w o u l d te rm it) a n d e ven fo lky f l a vou r s t o o . O f c o u r s e
the re ' s still p lenty of g r u n t i n g a n d w a i l i n g . A s v o i c e s g o , Z a c k de la
Rocha ' s ce r ta in l y has a lot of f e e l i n g . W h i l e he rare ly ' s i n g s ' , I don ' t
th ink that m a n y p e o p l e at Rage g i g s fa i l to u n d e r s t a n d the e m o t i o n s
i n v o l v e d in his r ap/ r an t style of o r a t i n g .
I th ink the w o r l d w o u l d be a bet ter p l a c e with a few m o r e b a n d s l ike
Rage A g a i n s t the M a c h i n e . A few m o r e that q u e s t i o n the soc ie ty that
they a re in - ra the r t han s i n g i n g a b o u t h o w f ine M i c k y is, o r that they
a re g o i n g to b l a m e eve ry th ing o n the w e a t h e r m a n . M o r e of the s a m e
- but w h e n it 's this g rea t , w h o c a r e s ?
Cat Stevens
Remeber
(Island)
T h e C a t ' s h i p p i e b a c k c a t a l o g u e has
b e e n r a i d e d by n u m e r o u s ar t is tes of
l a t e , w i th c o v e r s of Wild World a n d
Father and Son a m o n g a s h e d l o a d of
t r a c k s that h a v e b e e n r e s u r r e c t e d by
p o p u l a r m o d e r n b e a t c o m b o s . A s a
resul t y o u c a n h e a r his stuff o n R a d i o 2
as w e l l as R a d i o 1 , w h i c h is k i n d of a n
a c h i e v e m e n t .
C a t isn't his r ea l n a m e of c o u r s e , a n d
isn't e v en his n a m e now . H e g o t in to
r e l i g i o n in a b i g w a y a f te r a n e a r d e a t h
e x p e r i e n c e type t h i n g , a n d c h a n g e d his
n a m e to Yusuf i s l a m (n ice ) . W h i c h r e l i -
g i o n he f o u n d e s c a p e s m e fo r the
m o m e n t . . . He ' s t u r n e d his b a c k o n the
w h o l e p o p s ta r t h a n g , so the r e is n o
n e w m a t e r i a l o n this c o l l e c t i o n - but I
d a r e s a y at fifty o n e he stil l d o e s n ' t m i n d
the r o y a l t i e s . . .
T i m e hasn ' t d i m m e d the t e n d e r a p p e a l
of m o s t of the twenty f o u r ( coun t 'em)
m u s i c a l g e m s c o n t a i n e d o n this c o m p i -
l a t i o n . Buy it f o r y o u r m u m o r d a d this
C h r i s t m a s . Y o u m a y h a v e a j ob f i n d i n g
it, c o s you ' l l b e e m b a r r a s s e d a s k i n g the
gir l w i th p i e r c e d bits at the c o u n t e r in
H M V . Try l o o k i n g u n d e r ' r o c k ' o r ' p o p '
o r m a y b e e v e n ' f o l k ' o r ' ( ch ) easy l i s-
t e n i n g ' . Be t te r s t i l l , y o u c o u l d wa i t unt i l
the s a l e s a n d r u m m a g e in the less t h a n
f i ve q u i d b a r g a i n b u c k e t s . T h e n if y o u
d o ge t a c o p y m a k e su r e you l i s ten to
the l y r i cs .
C h o o s e l o n g hair . C h o o s e a b e a r d .
C h o o s e a f u n n y o l d m a n c a l l e d C a t
S t e vens . Enjoy.
• Kunal ID Joel Ian
c 5
Little Mothers
Title
(Island)
S o n g titles such as The Worry,
Bad to Worse a n d Moody s u g -
gested a slightly d o w n b e a t feel
might hang abou t this a l b u m .
Likewise, the maud l i n sleeve shot
of the four unsmi l ing lads nes-
t led a m o n g s t a dep re s s i n g l y
empty furniture sale imp l i ed a
R a d i o h e a d - e s q u e o f fe r ing of
d o o m a n d despair . A n d in fact , if
you listen to what they're say ing
on the tracks, this is pretty m u c h
what you get. Subject matter
includes a badly fa i led re la t ion-
ship with a mate's little sister,
depress ion over other similarly
fated re lat ionships, a n d cynic ism
abou t . . . we l l . . . b roken re la t ion-
ships. H m m . N o t o n e to play if
you have any doubts abou t your
ability to ho ld d o w n a steady
gir l/boyfr iend.
H av i ng sa id this, The Little M o t h -
ers' ou t look on life never d id the
great b lues music ians any h a r m
(or R a d i o h e a d , for that matter),
and there are a c o u p l e of g e n -
uinely g o o d t racks o n this
a l b u m ; If Love's What You Want
being perhaps the best examp le
- a n a c o u s t i c tune a b o u t . . .
guess what? Lyrics a s ide , the
mus ica l a r r angement m a k e this
a g o o d record for late at night -
just m a k e sure you haven't eaten
cheese as wel l , o r w h e n you
w a k e u p your d r e a m s will have
turned you into a shiver ing n e u -
rotic pile of rubble . O u c h .
Counting Crows
This Desert Life
(Geffen/PAL)
E v e r y o n e has l i s t ened to the C r o w s ' first a l b u m - August and Every-
thing After - wh i l s t not so m a n y h a v e h e a r d the i r s e c o n d - Recover-
ing the Satellites. Th i s is d u e to the fac t that A u g u s t is r e g a r d e d as
a c l a s s i c wh i l s t Satellites is not . E v e r y o n e k n o w s the s o n g s R o u n d
H e r e a n d Mr Jones but f e w e r p e o p l e w o u l d be a b l e to n a m e any
s o n g s f r o m Satellites. T h e s t r a n g e th ing a b o u t this is that a n y rev iews
(both c r i t i c a l a n d p o p u l a r ) of Satellites that y o u r e a d c r ed i t it as a
wo r thy s e q u e l to the b a n d s first a l b u m .
This Desert Life has b e e n in my s t e r eo n o n - s t o p s i n c e I r e c e i v e d it
d u e to the s i m p l e f ac t that it is exce l l en t . A d a m Dur i tz 's v o c a l s c o n -
t i n u e in the i r d e s p a i r wh i l s t the m u s i c c o n t i n u e s to r o ck in the ch i l l
o u t m a n n e r to w h i c h w e h a v e b e c o m e a c c u s t o m e d . I can ' t f i nd o n e
b a d t r a ck o n the w h o l e a l b u m - but I c a n f i nd a n u m b e r that I just
h a v e t o c o m m e n t o n .
Hanginaround o p e n s the a l b u m with a b o u n c e a n d v i g o u r that wi l l
h a v e y o u s i n g i n g a l o n g a n d m o v i n g y o u r b o d y in ways that y o u
k n o w a r e e m b a r r a s s i n g but that y o u just can ' t s t o p . All My Friends is
b o t h o n e of the best t h i ngs they 've d o n e a n d a c l a s s i c m e l l o w e d ou t
t u n e of d e s p a i r . Highlife b r i ngs t o g e t h e r a s t e l l a r a r r a n g e m e n t wi th
pe r f ec t l y v o i c e d lyr ics . F ina l l y / Wish I Was A Girl is just a r i d i c u l o u s l y
c a t c h y tune e ven if it d o e s g o o n f o r h o u r s .
O n e t h i n g I d i d n o t i c e h o w e v e r is that the re a re a c o u p l e of t r a cks
w h i c h s e e m to h a v e b e e n h e a v i l y i n f l u e n c e d by B e n F o l d s F i ve . B o t h
M r s Potters Lullaby a n d Colourblind rea l l y c o u l d h a v e b e e n wr i t ten
by B e n F o l d s - but the s t r a n g e (and great ) t h i n g is that they w o u l d
b o t h ( e s p e c i a l l y Colourblind) be a m o n g the best t r a cks o n the a l b u m
a n d a c t u a l l y s o u n d bet te r w i th Dur i tz 's v o c a l s .
It's p o s s i b l e that as in All My Friends "A l l my f r i ends a n d love rs l e a v e
m e a l o n e to try a n d h a v e a little f u n " but I r ea l l y w o u l d n ' t m i n d if I
h a d this to l isten to o n my s t e r eo . O r at least I w o u l d n ' t a p a r t f r o m
the f a c t tha t I r ea l l y w a n t to g o to that par ty o n F r iday n i g h t . . .
If y o u d i d n ' t l i k e August (or Satellites] t h e n y o u p r o b a b l y w o n ' t l i ke
this e i ther , but if l ike m e y o u l o v e d t h e m , t hen y o u r m o n e y s h o u l d
a l r e a d y be o u t o n the r e c o r d s h o p s coun te r . This D e s e r t Life is a n
a l b u m that o n l y the tas te less s h o u l d m iss .
H H H H H H B
^^^^
Royal Trux
Veterans of Disorder
(Domino)
T h e m u s i c a l l a n d s c a p e at the e n d of
the 9 0 ' s is p l a g u e d by i rony . M o s t of
o u r p o p s ta r s a r e s u f f i c i e n t l y w e l l
t r a i n e d to t a lk the ta lk c o m p l e t e wi th a
p h o t o g e n i c s m i l e / g r i m a c e / l o o k of
c o n t e m p t u o u s a l o o f n e s s , p l a s t e r e d
u p o n the i r s m u g f a c e s . In this c l i m a t e ,
p r a i s e the f a l l e n a n g e l f o r b a n d s l ike
the Roya l Trux w h o a r e p r e p a r e d to
b e l i e v e in r o c k ' n ' ro l l as no t just a
b a d g e but as a w a y of l i f e . T h e two
m a i n Trux, N e i l H a g e r t y a n d J e n n i f e r
H e r r e m a , l i ve a n o t o r i o u s l y n a r c o t i c
e x i s t e n c e a n d o v e r the p a s t d e c a d e o r
so they h a v e put o u t a s t r i ng o f r e c o r d s
d u b b e d by m a n y as u n l i s t e n a b l e a n d
s h a m b o l i c .
' V e t e r ans o f D i s o r d e r 1 is r o c k ' n ' ro l l in
the t rues t s e n s e of t ha t m u c h m a l i g n e d
w o r d . T h e first ha l f of V O D sees Trux
d r a w l a n d s n a r l t he i r w a y t h r o u g h a
c l u t c h of g l o r i o u s l y f u c k e d u p , r aw a n d
dir ty m i n i m a s t e r p i e c e s , eve ry o n e suf-
f u s e d w i th the k i n d o f s w a g g e r a n d
a t t i t ude i d e n t i f i a b l e a s the r e a l d e a l . A s
t ime p r o g r e s s e s w e r e a c h Lunch Money
in w h i c h the Trux ge t a bit a t o n a l a n d
e x p e r i m e n t a l o n o u r a s s e s , bu t e v e n
the m o s t d i m r ight w i n g e r w o u l d f i nd it
h a r d n o t to s e e t h e b e a u t y in the
s q u a w k i n g r a c k e t . W e h a v e n o w
r e a c h e d the p o i n t at w h i c h t h i n g s start
to se l f -des t ruc t . T h e a l b u m c o u l d h a v e
d o n e w i t h o u t a t ee th g r i n d i n g l y self-
i n d u l g e n t s e v e n - m i n u t e g u i t a r s o l o
f i n a l e w h i c h is Sickass Dog, but in the
w a k e of s u c h a j o y o u s , u n h o l y (and
yes , s h a m b o l i c ) p i e c e of r o c k ' n ' ro l l
this s e e m s l ike a m i n o r c o m p l a i n t .
• Mart Tim • The Masked Bandit
5 c
frequency > A Bob Marley feat. Lauryn Hill Beck
Turn Your b'ghis Down Low Sexxlaws
(Columbia) (Geffen)
T h e g r a n d d a d d y o f
g a n j g r e e t s us o n c e
m o r e f r o m b e y o n d the
g r a v e , v i a a Lauryn H i l l
c o v e r / r e m i x . It's a c l a s -
sic t u n e , with a love l y
s i m p l e gu i t a r , w a s t e d
o n Hi l l ' s R&B k e y b o a r d
d e m o r e m i x . T h e n
a g a i n , at l eas t she has
the taste to p i c k s o m e -
t h i n g tasty a n d k e e p
t rue to the v i b e , un l i k e
the run-of- the-mi l l h ip-
p o p d r o s s w h i c h
p l a g u e s o u r char t s
Beck was d i a g n o s e d at four teen as
c h r o n i c a l l y u n a b l e to re lease a w e a k
s i ng l e , a n d so far n o cure has been
f o u n d . Sexxlaws is the latest a n d
most mul t i- faceted of his s y m p t o m s .
B a c k i n g up the usua l fa re of lyrics
c a t c h i e r a n d m o r e n o n s e n s i c a l than /
Am The Walrus, we f ind that Mr.
H a n s e n ' s e x t r a o r d i n a r i l y p o l i s h e d
p r o d u c t i o n spawns the most in fec-
t ious d a n c i n g r e co rd of 1 9 9 9 .
Blackalicious
Deception
(Mo Wax)
M y s i n g l e of the w e e k ! T h e s i m p l e
story has a t a l e n t e d M C w h o loses
the p l o t (Pt. 1, Don't Let Money
Change Ya), g o e s t h r o u g h he l l (Pt.
2 , Tu rmo i l ) , a n d has to r e d i s c o v e r
his roots (Pt. 3, Redemption) T racks
1 a n d 3 h a v e this k ick-ass s u n g
re f ra in w h i c h h o o k s y o u l i ke c r a c k ,
a n d the rest of the t u n a g e is just
s o o o d a r k ! E n o u g h s a i d .
•
Woodbine
Mound of Venus
(Domino)
Sure l y a f t e r just h e a r i n g
the n a m e , a n y t h i n g o n
this C D has to be a n
a n t i c l i m a x ! But W o o d -
b i n e left m e wr i t h i ng o n
the f l o o r in p l e a s u r e
a n d a g o n y . P l e a s u r e at
the s h e e r l e s b i a n s h o w -
er m u s i c of it a n d
a g o n y , w e l l , m i l d
e m b a r r a s s m e n t at
w o r d s l ike ' m o u n d of
V e n u s , a sk m e to p l a y ' ,
a n d ' don ' t g o to b e d
w i th s o m e wet h e a d
w h o s e n a m e is F r e d ' .
Thunderbugs
It's About Time You...
(Epic)
It's the b a n d with the
l e a d s i nge r w h o th inks
she's seduc t i ve b e c a u s e
she's w e a r i n g in te l l e c tu-
a l g l a sses . The f o l l o w
up to the m i n d b u r r o w -
ing Friends Forever is
t r a g i c ; it e v e n h a s
b a c k i n g v o c a l s o f
' d o o p d o o ' . P l ease .
I
Robbie Williams
She's The One / It's Only Us
(EMI)
This is n o t h i n g but a m o n e y - s p i n n e r
f r o m the boy wonde r . N o mat ter
h o w g o o d She's The One is, a n d it is
truly beau t i f u l , e ve r yone a l r e a d y has
the a l b u m . S o he's l u m p e d it
t o g e t h e r with It's Only Us, p r e s u m -
ab ly to be t aken f r o m the third
a l b u m . A l t h o u g h it's f r o m the s a m e
t e a m as Old Before I Die a n d Let Me
Entertain You, it c lear l y isn't as g o o d .
The result is a p a c k a g e of two
s o n g s , the theory b e i n g two ha lves
m a k e a w h o l e .
Puff Daddy
Best Friend
(Arista)
W h e n a m a n with a bo t tom lip w o r -
thy of a r a m p o n Tony Hawk's Skate-
board Challenge a n d the mus i c a l
t a l en t of a p e a n u t m a n a g e s to
e n g a g e Jenni fer Lopez , you k n o w he
must be d o i n g s o m e t h i n g r ight, but
this is not it. This s o n g is al l a b o u t
his f r i e n d s h i p wi th G o d , a n d
a l t h o u g h that's a d m i r a b l e , it's not
m u c h of a c o m p l i m e n t ; i m a g i n e h o w
a n n o y e d you 'd be if your g i r l f r iend
b o u g h t you a token of her love for
you a n d g a v e her s o m e used socks .
Shack
Pull Together
(Sony)
Wi th a hur r i ed verse ,
the c h o r u s c o m b i n e s
the f o r m u l a of b o t h
S p i r i t u a l i z e d a n d
E m b r a c e , m a d e e p i c
a n d l o u d with a lot of
h a r m o n i e s . They even
m a n a g e to pul l it off,
but sadly , they a re l a c k -
ing the c h a r a c t e r a n d
ind iv idua l i t y they n e e d
to g a i n credibi l i ty .
.Singles reviews by
Dave & Kier...
an
c x
frequency N A
Montel Jordan
Get It On
(Def Jam)
F r o m the m a n that g a v e us
This H o w W e D o It, this n e w
re l e a se f r o m M o n t e l l wi l l
not su rp r i se any of his f a n s .
The first s e c t i o n c o m p r i s e s
of s o m e p h a t t unes a s s o c i -
a t ed with M o n t e l l . C h e c k
ou t the t rack G e t It Tonight.
This wi l l c e r t a i n l y be b i g in
the c l u b s . The hits just k e e p
o n c o m i n g f r o m Everybody
(Get Down) to the futur is t i-
ca l l y s o u n d i n g Can't Get
Enough. T h e s e c o n d ha l f
s l o w s d o w n the b e a t t o
m o r e s o u l f u l t r acks o o z i n g
sensua l i t y . T h a t s a i d qu i t e a
few t r a cks in this s e c t i o n a r e
c o n c e r n e d w i th u n c e r t a i n
r e l a t i o n s h i p s . D e s p i t e th is ,
there a r e s o m e s o n g s f o r a
g o o d b u m p a n d g r i n d .
Tracks w o r t h l i s t en i ng to a r e
Let's Cuddle Up a n d the
very s e n s u a l D o Y o u ? M o n -
tell a l s o d o e s a very g o o d
c o v e r of the c l a s s i c Ph i !
C o l l i n s t r a c k Against Al!
Odds.
The s o n g O n c e Upon A
Time has a S p a n i s h i n f l u -
e n c e , to the po in t w h e r e the
s e c o n d v e r s i o n is in S p a n -
ish . N o t b a d !
O v e r a l l , a very g o o d a l b u m
that s h o u l d h a v e a p o s i t i o n
in y o u r m u s i c a l c o l l e c t i o n .
O r
Chill, it's Will, Keepin' it
Real and if s Mil
using the skill to kill
What 's up IC! We're g o n n a run th rough the latest news a n d have a qu ick
g l ance at the singles that are d o i n g it, but first up I'm g o n n a have a ser ious
m o a n a b o u t the state of the U K scene.
The p r o b l e m with the U K scene is that there are no p rob lems with the U K
scene , it's really pe r fo rming at the minute. S o m e of the tunes that are be ing
re leased are actual ly g o o d e n o u g h to b low away the so-ca l led or ig inators
of R&B, the A m e r i c a n s . The British stuff that's be ing re leased has a vibe a n d
a gloss that is as g o o d as anything they cou ld br ing out, but then why is
British R&B still l o o k e d at in a negat ive way. So many peop l e refuse to
bel ieve that Beverly Knight's a l b u m c o u l d stand on the same level as a M a r y
J a l b u m ; I'm sorry but it c a n . In fact the thing's got more b o u n c e than Mary 's
by a g o o d mi le . So what's the p r o b l e m ? People are h o o k e d up on the a
belief that the phattest stuff c a n only c o m e f rom the States. . . well p eop l e
better recogn ise , U K R&B is mov ing up on the right side a n d we all better
c o m e correct.
The Sp ice G i r l s have m a d e b reak ing up the latest thing to d o , fo l l ow ing on
f rom them and the so-ca l l ed dis integrat ion of Blackstreet, we have A n o t h -
er Level. It seems that on e of the boys thinks he'll d o better on his own a n d
is ready to hit the r o a d . It's been con f i rmed that W a y n e , the b lack guy, you
know, the on e w h o c a n s ing , is g o n n a be b reak ing up with his budd ies and
d o his o w n thang . He's g o n n a finish off all his duties with Ano the r Level with
their current hit " Bombd iggy " before e m b a r k i n g on what he hopes is g o i n g
to be a fruitful so lo career. The rest of the boys gotta be h o p i n g he fucks
up , but s o m e h o w I doub t it, because he's a l ready got the master d o n p r o -
duce r l ined up to start work on his a l b u m . . . no not fuck ing Puff D a d d y . . .
the Da rkch i l d Rodney Jerkins is supposed ly wil l ing to d o produc t ion duties
for Wayne .
After the B o b Ma r l e y duet with the multi-talented Miss Hil l it seems on e of
the biggest stars of rap is g o n n a be m a k i n g his presence felt f rom beyond
the grave . Biggie's back ! The m a n is we igh ing in with another post death
a l b u m . Like Tupac it seems that there is no limit to the records that can be
pul led out of the b a g , not that that's a b a d th ing. In the past, I've g o n e on
a b o u t the n u m b e r on guests that turn up on people 's a l bums , well the new
B iggie a l b u m , "Born A g a i n " , has got m o r e b ig n a m e stars than the Ho l l y-
w o o d . Puff Daddy , Li!1 K i m , 2 P a c , Busta Rhymes, S n o o p D o g g , M o b b D e e p ,
E m i n e m , M e t h o d M a n , R e d m a n , Missy 'M i sdemeanor ' Elliot, Ice C u b e , DJ
Premier, C l a r k Kent a n d anyone else you can think of, they're all there. The
first s ingle " D e a d W r o n g " has a l ready been d o i n g the rounds on import .
M i l e n
IIS
1 Will Smith
(Columbia)
The m a n in b lack is b a c k with this e g o m a n i -
aca l l y titled new a l b u m . This f o l l ow up to Big
Willie Style is a co l l e c t i on of funk a n d 80's
g roove- insp i red tunes that are g u a r an t eed to
pack the d a n c e f l o o r ( though not al l the
tracks c a n d o this). O n e th ing that c o m e s
d e a r is the definite o l d s koo l f lava to the
w h o l e a l b u m . Tracks on this a l b u m feature
quite a few guys: K-C i , Lit1 K i m , Slick Rick,
K o o l M o D e e , Dru H i l l , his wife J a d a Pinkett
Smith a n d even the first l ady of the ruff
ryders, Eve. Jazzie Jeff is back with the
scra tch ing he is ab l e to d o we l l . (Half of track
8 is Jazzie r ipp ing it up with s o m e d o p e
scratching) .
The first c o u p l e of tracks are your party jams
(the ones mean t to p a c k the f loor) . F rom the
first s ing le Will 2K currently on gene ra l
re lease n o w with a s l a m m i n g v i deo , to the
Latino La Fiesta (everyone is g o i n g Spanish) ,
these songs will keep you m o v i n g to the beat.
Afro Angel s lows th ings d o w n just a little with
J a d a lay ing d o w n s o m e s p o k e n w o r d . The
real ' o l d s k o o l ' t racks are next, cast ing your
m i n d back in t ime to w h e n Sl ick Rick a n d Biz
M a r k i e were at the top of the g a m e . A n inter-
esting track o n this a l b u m is Potnas where M r
Smith exper iments with D M X of the ruff
ryders' f low. H e d o e s o k a y but he shou ld stick
to what he has 'perfected 1 .
O v e r a l l , Willennium is a v e r a g e , wi thout as
m any jams as Big Willie Style but an O K
a l b u m with a variety of tracks using different
styles. The m a i n g r u m b l e is that s o m e w o u l d
a r g u e Will 's f low as be ing t o o c o m m e r c i a l
a n d downr igh t w h ack . That may be true but
you can't stop this guy s tack ing chips with his
f low so don't p l aya hate .
i n O
5 c
N/\
ClubOne
@ YenueTwo
S o m e c l ub nights m a n a g e to s tand ou t
f r om others with effort less e a se . It's
no th ing to d o with the i r DJ l i ne-up ,
no th ing to with the v e n u e whe re they
are he ld a n d no th i ng w h a t s o e v e r to d o
with the state of the toi lets . Q u i t e s i m -
ply, the c l ub nights that s tand h e a d a n d
shou lde r s a b o v e others a re al l a b o u t
the v ibe . They s e e m to cap tu re the sp i r-
it of the house party a n d t ranspor t this
heaven ly a t m o s p h e r e direct ly to a c l u b
venue . Last Saturday 's C l u b O n e n ight
was a perfect e x a m p l e of this.
Put o n by a g r o u p of p e o p l e c lear l y
m o r e interested in h a v i n g a g o o d t ime
than i m p r e s s i n g a n y b o d y , C l u b O n e
p r o v e d to be a n exce l lent night fo r
m o r e t han just those ou t fo r a b ig o n e .
Wi th a t echno- t rance mix in the m a i n
r o o m a n d ec lec t i c mix of beats in the
b a c k r o o m , c l ubbe r s were t rea ted to a
myst ical expe r i ence of m u s i c rarely
served in the m o r e m a i n s t r e a m c lubs .
F rom p e o p l e d a n c i n g l ike n o o n e was
w a t c h i n g to those just sitt ing a r o u n d o n
the f l o o r ch i l l i ng out , this was a h o u s e
party in a c l u b a n d the v ibe w a s c l e a r
fo r al l to see . I ndeed , as o n e w a l k e d
a r o u n d a fee l ing that e ve ryone k n e w
e a c h o ther s e e m e d to o o z e f r o m every
Sad ly t h o u g h , these C l u b O n e nights
a re s o m e t h i n g of a rarity, as they on ly
s e e m to a p p e a r every few m on t h s with
little p r o m o t i o n . Yet it is m a y b e this
in f requency that keeps the v ibe so
a l i ve , a n d the p e o p l e present so s p e -
c i a l . A n d this is why this c l u b is not
c a l l e d C l u b O n e a n d why it is not he ld
at VenueTwo . Sorry.
James
Ram Trilogy Parly @ The End
..if you like it hard...
With the recent o p e n i n g of h o m e a n d Fabric , the End cou ld have
f ound itself struggl ing to keep up. However, Friday night proved
that this venue a n d the genre of d rum and bass c a n still get the
punters in. This was a ' r o a d b l o c k ' event with the c lub a lmost full
to capaci ty by midnight .
The first coup l e of sets in the ma in r o o m were g o o d without rea l-
ly getting the c rowd j ump ing , playing music that anyone c a n eas-
ily get a ho ld of. The l ounge was a more laid back affair with d rum
a n d bass be ing played first up , but not the real heavy bass line
stuff, c o m p l e m e n t i n g the havoc be ing created in the ma in r o o m .
It then switched to hip h o p before f inishing with some chi l led out
breaks a n d beats.
Enter Roni Size on the decks , in the ma in r o o m . His reputat ion
precedes h im with ma in r o o m getting packed out to the point that
it was a lmost imposs ib le to move . H e played an excellent set with
a mixture of jazzy breaks, voca l tunes and bass heavy dubpla tes .
H e really d id get the c rowd g o i n g and the presence of M C D y n a -
mite only a d d e d to exper ience.
Next up c a m e the highl ight of the night. Andy C c a m e to the decks
with c rowd at boi l ing point. N o w to those of you that don't know,
Ram records is A n d y C s label a n d so you w o u l d expect this set
to be spec ia l . H e didn't d isappoint . He p layed a technical ly a m a z -
ing set, running mixes at length and construct ing the set wel l . H e
mixed up the set p lay ing the very newest dubplates a n d d r o p p i n g
the o d d blast f rom the past- you didn't know which way he was
g o i n g to take it next. S o m e might have felt that his set was maybe
too bass heavy, but the nutters in the c rowd were feel ing it ha rd ! ! !
Next up on the decks were the highly a c c l a imed producers , ed-
rush & opt ica l - they p layed a g o o d set a l though it was a little anti-
c l imact ic after the m a y h e m that p receded it. Randal l c losed the
night off with a tight set mixing the b-line styles with the more
exper imenta l stuff.
A l l in all a g o o d night was had by a l l , with a b road spectrum of
d r u m a n d bass catered for. Those of you that are interested, there
many more d r u m and bass nights f rom n o w to the end of the year
at the End. It's still a w icked venue - pretty mode rn with a body
shak ing s o u n d system. Wa t ch out Fabric , the End isn't d e a d yet.
G o v
Recommended
Clubbing
This w e e k ' s se l e c t i on is m o r e t han
impress i v e , so t ake y o u r p ick f r o m this
ve r i t ab le bo x of de l i gh t s .
Monday 15th November
Boom or Bust @ The Project; £4
Fat Tony o n the d e c k s with m o r e
f l a v o u r s t h a n m o s t . Th i s c l u b has
c h a n g e d n a m e s l o a d s , but r e m a i n s a
qua l i t y n ight out .
Thursday 18th November
The Beginning @ The End; £3
This n ight is a p r o p e r party so m a k e
sure you ' r e d r e s s e d up . DJs o n rota t ion
i n c l u d e B r a n d o n B l o ck , S t reetboy a n d
A l e x P a n d three q u i d fo r this is m o r e
t han a b a r g a i n .
Friday 19th November
Varsity @ 2 New Burlington Street; £8
Ex-c lubscene wri ter J o Pub l i c is a res i-
d e n t at this n e w u p a n d c o m i n g
g a r a g e c l u b . The re a re g o o d guests
e a c h w e e k f r o m s o m e of the best L o n -
d o n r a d i o s ta t ions .
Saturday 20th November
Fabric @ Fabric; £12
Fabr i c ' s in these listings a g a i n ! Sorry for
the repet i t ion , but this really is a bri l l iant
c l ub . This week sees Felix favour i te A s h -
ley Beed le in r o o m 3, a n d this surely will
be a stormer.
Sonic Mook Experiment @ Scala; £8
H e l d in a c o n v e r t e d c i n e m a , S o n i c
M o o k is a n ight ge t t ing better a l l the
t ime . Ton ight sees the w o n d e r f u l Psyco-
nauts get g roovy , so d o you real ly wan t
to miss ou t ?
To have your club added to this list just
invite us along, we'll check it out and if
we like it we'll put it down
e-mail: felix@ic.ac.uk
phone: 020 7594 8072 ask for James
s x
N A
What's on at ICU Cinema This Week
As you can tell from the screen pages there are some good films in cin-
emas out there. Our very own ICU Cinema is no different. This week they
boost a fantastic line up for you to feast your eyes upon. Films that are
being shown this week are 'Mickey Blue Eyes', 'Shakespeare in Love1 and
'Saving Private Ryan'.
y stars Hugh Grant, James Caan and Jeanne Tripplehorn
in this romantic comedy about love, fine art and The Mob. Michael Fel-
gate (Hugh Grant), an elegant, debonair Englishman who runs an auc-
tion house in New York, is head-over-heels in love for the first time in his
life. After only three months of dating his beautiful girlfriend Gina
(Jeanne Tripplehorn), Michael gathers up his courage and proposes mar-
riage. But, to Michael's shock, Gina declares that, though she loves
Michael very much, she can never marry him. Michael doesn't give up
easily and ends up getting involved with the Mob curtesey of Gina's father
(James Caan).
g is about World War II, which was a pivotal event of
the 20th century. It shifted the borders of the globe. It forever changed
those who lived through it, and shaped generations to come. It has been
called "the last Great War." Captain John Miller (Tom Hanks) is ordered
to take his squad behind enemy lines on a dangerous mission to find and
retrieve one man: Private James Ryan (Matt Damon). This film deals with
difficult issues such as sacrifice and death..
Shakespeare is a brilliant comedy starring Gwyneth Paltrow and
Ralph Fienes. Set in the late 1 500's, Shakespeare has writer's block and
is struggling to finish his latest piece of work. He needs inspiration, enter
the lovely Gwyneth, to help him get over the block. This movie is amaz-
ing but don't expect factual historical detail. This film boasts a fine Eng-
lish supporting cast with Dame Judi Dench and the guys from the Fast
Show. A must see for everyone.
There has been some confusion with the prices at the cinema. You don't
need to be a member to go and see the films, as all screenings are now
£3. So you now have no excuse s everyone can afford £3 to see some
of the best films ever. Go get a beer and a curry and enjoy some fan-
tastic films this week. To find out the times of the films just go to the walk-
way you see posters. All the information about screenings is on those
posters.
ICU Cinema is still looking for people to help out selling tickets and sell-
ing ice creams. In return you get to see the films for free. Just e-mail
a and they will be able to tell you more or ask the peo-
ple in charge when you go and se a film this week.
Brokedown Palace Competition
This week the Odeon Kensington have five pairs of tickets for
e to give away. As well as these tickets we have a cd of the sound-
track including tracks from Audioweb and Asian Dub Foundation to give
to one lucky winner,
Brokedown Palace is a story about two high schoolers Alice (Claire
Danes) and Darlene (Kate Beckinsale) who go to Thailand for a mega-
holiday to celebrate their graduation. From there they plan to go to
Hong Kong but drugs get found in their bags so instead the end up in a
Thai jail also known as a brokedown palace. Hank (Bill Pullman) is their
lawyer who tries to get them out.
The Odeon is at the far end of High Street Kensington and the number
9 and 1 0 buses will take you down there for a small charge. These buses
go from the park side of the Albert Hall, So now you know how to get
there all you have to do is answer a question, I realise that last weeks
question didn't go down too well and that IC students don't want to think
up interesting answers they just want an excuse to surf the web. Well if
this is the case then here is this week's question:
n
Answers to before noon on Wednesday 1 7 Novem-
ber.
The people that made the effort to enter last weeks competition and win
a pair of tickets each are:
M
P
M
C
M
Please call by the Felix office to collect your tickets.
More Offers, Offers, Offers
The Odeon have yet another offer to delight you film-loving people,
They have introduced a booklet that allows you to buy three cinema tick-
ets and get one free. These booklets also contain vouchers for money
off Heat or Empire magazine and go large vouchers for drinks and pop-
corn. "What's the catch?" I hear you shout. There is no catch. The book-
let is free and you can get them from the Felix office any time you like.
So come on what are you waiting for?!
5 s 3
D e s p i t e w h a t y o u h a v e p r o b a b l y h e a r d a b o u t F igh t Club, this is no t a
f i lm a b o u t v i o l e n c e . So r r y t o t h o s e o f y o u w h o w a n t e d to see B r a d Pitt
ge t h is h e a d s m a c k e d i n . W h i l e it d o e s i n v o l v e a lo t o f b a r e k n u c k l e
f i g h t i n g , it is m o r e a s tory a b o u t o n e p e r s o n , a c t e d by E d w a r d N o r t o n ,
a n d h o w he a c c i d e n t a l l y f o u n d s a cu l t .
B a s e d o n the n o v e l by C h u c k P a l a h n i u k this f i l m has b e e n a d a p t e d f o r
s c r e e n by J i m U h l s . Th i s is his d e b u t s c r e e n p l a y a n d he has d o n e
e x t r e m e l y w e l l . D a v i d F i n c h e r d i r e c t s th is f i l m in h is ve ry d i s t i n c t i v e
sty le . M o s t of y o u w i l l k n o w h i m f r o m f i l m s s u c h as The G a m e , S e v e n ,
a n d Alien 3.
The m a i n c h a r a c t e r n a r r a t e s the story f o r y o u a n d o c c a s i o n a l l y t a l ks to
the v i e w e r in the first p e r s o n . H e te l l s y o u a b o u t h i m s e l f a n d his d a y to
d a y l i f e . A l l g o e s w e l l unt i l h e m e e t s Tyler D u r d e n (Pitt). D u r d e n is the
sort of p e r s o n w h o is a l w a y s p o p u l a r a n d e v e r y o n e w o u l d l ove to b e .
H e a n d the n a r r a t o r start a f i gh t c l u b c o m p l e t e l y by a c c i d e n t a n d , as
y o u h a v e p r o b a b l y h e a r d f r o m the f i l m t r a i l e r s , "The first ru le a b o u t
F ight C l u b is no t to t a l k a b o u t F igh t C l u b . " S o I won ' t .
M a k i n g a s t a r r i n g a n d f a n t a s t i c a p p e a r a n c e is M e a t l o a f H e p l ays
Robe r t P a u l s o n w h o h a s h a d t e s t i c u l a r c a n c e r a n d n o w has b i g b i t ch
b r e a s t s . H e ac t s his pa r t e x t r e m e l y w e l l a n d it is w o r t h w a t c h i n g this
f i lm just f o r h i m . A l s o s t a r r i n g is H e l e n B o h n a m C a r t e r , not p l a y i n g he r
u s u a l E n g l i s h Rose c h a r a c t e r but m o r e of a l e a c h y type of p e r s o n . The
cas t w o r k s i n c r e d i b l y w e l l a n d it is r a r e to s e e so m a n y f a m o u s p e o p l e
a c t u a l l y g i v i n g a g o o d p e r f o r m a n c e in o n e f i l m .
F igh t Club is o n e o f t h o s e f i l m s that y o u th ink y o u u n d e r s t a n d a n d
qu i t e en joy . T h a t is unt i l a b o u t t h r e e - q u a r t e r s of the w a y t h r o u g h w h e n
it s u d d e n l y c h a n g e s . T h e p l o t d o e s n ' t qu i t e l o se y o u as m u c h as it c o n -
f u s e s y o u . Th i s is t h e t ype o f f i l m tha t t a k e s a w h i l e t o s ink in a n d
l e a v e s y o u w o n d e r i n g a b o u t v a r i o u s a s p e c t s f o r d a y s later. It is fu l l o f
d a r k h u m o u r a n d the r e is e v e n a b r i e f m o m e n t of i d i o c y w h e n the f i l m
s u d d e n l y s e e m s l ike a m o d e r n d a y s c e n e f r o m M o n t y Python's Life of
Brian.
O k , w h a t I s a i d a b o u t v i o l e n c e isn't e x a c t l y t r u e . T h e r e a r e f ights a n d
w h e r e they o c c u r t h e r e a r e lots of f a n t a s t i c s p e c i a l e f fec ts . It d o e s ge t
a bit g r u e s o m e at t i m e s but at l e a s t the b l o o d d o e s l o o k l ike b l o o d .
W i t h the recent spa te of " s l asher " m o v i e s , f i na l l y a b a t i n g with the r e l e a se
of Scream 3 early next year, it's a r e f r e sh ing su rp r i se to see m o r e c o n -
v e n t i o n a l s u p e r n a t u r a l thr i l lers p i c k i n g up s t e a m . The Sixth Sense is a
w e l c o m e a d d i t i o n to this g e n r e .
This m o v i e must have b e e n a n i g h t m a r e to p i t ch to s t u d i o execu t i v e s .
Let's t ake a story, by a n u n p r o v e n s c r eenwr i t e r /d i r e c to r , set in a g e n r e
last m a d e p o p u l a r in the m i d 1 9 7 0 ' s , wi th the e m p h a s i s of the a c t i n g o n
a 9 yea r o l d k i d . T h e n a d d B ruce W i l l i s as a psych ia t r i s t , in to the mix !
G r a n t e d that W i l l i s hasn' t h a d a g r e a t t r a ck r e c o r d w h e n it c o m e s to
p l a y i n g a p s y c h o l o g i s t [Colour of Night a n y o n e ! ) o r a c t i n g o p p o s i t e a
c h i l d (Mercury Rising), it's a su rp r i se that this m o v i e w o r k s so we l l - the
s tud io execs must have h a d g r e a t h i n d s i g h t to g r e e n - l i g h t this p ro jec t .
But w e s h o u l d be thank fu l b e c a u s e M N i g h t S h y a m a l a n h a s b e e n a b l e
to craf t a n ex t reme ly we l l a c t e d a n d we l l d e l i v e r e d th r i l l e r that m a y not
s c a r e you out of y o u r wits, but wi l l de f in i te l y l e ave y o u with a sense of
u n e a s e as you l eave the c i n e m a .
W i l l i s p lays D r M a l c o l m C r o w e , a p s y c h o l o g i s t , w h o at the start o f the
m o v i e is shot by a f o r m e r pa t i en t b e f o r e the pa t i en t turns the g u n o n
h imse l f . W e are then w h i s k e d t o w a r d s "The N e x t Fa l l " w h e r e we mee t
C r o w e . H e n o w has a new pa t i en t , 9-year-o ld C o l e S e a r (Ha ley J oe l
O s m e n t ) , w h o exhib i ts the s a m e p r o b l e m s as the f o r m e r pa t i en t - a n d so
C r o w e sees the abi l i ty to r e d e e m h imse l f in the boy.
W h a t un fo ld s is a n e x c e p t i o n a l l y we l l - c ra f t ed p i e c e of m o v i e m a k i n g in
w h i c h the s u s p e n s e f a c t o r is c r a n k e d r ight u p . But w h a t m a k e s this m o v i e
rea l l y w o r k is the a c t i n g . W h o w o u l d h a v e t h o u g h t that B ruce W i l l i s
c o u l d be a b l e to c o n v e y e m o t i o n s in a subt le m a n n e r w i t hou t g i v i n g a
one- l ine r , c r a c k i n g his t r a d e m a r k smi rk a n d then w h i p p i n g ou t a g u n
b e f o r e a l l he l l b r e a k s l o o s e ? Toni C o l l e t t e , w h o p lays C o l e ' s mother , is
a l s o o u t s t a n d i n g as a w o m a n w h o is t ry ing to u n d e r s t a n d w h a t is w r o n g
with he r son whi lst k e e p i n g he r f am i l y toge ther . But the rea l d i s c o v e r y is
O s m e n t , w h o s e a c t i n g in this m o v i e is n o t h i n g shor t of i n c r e d i b l e - there
a re a l r e a d y w h i s p e r s of a n O s c a r n o m i n a t i o n f o r Best S u p p o r t i n g Ac to r .
He's a b l e to h o l d his o w n in s c e n e s with W i l l i s a n d it's these s c e n e s w h i c h
p r o v i d e the b a c k b o n e of this m o v i e .
M u c h has b e e n sa id a b o u t this mov ie ' s b i g twist e n d i n g , a n d a l l I c a n
say is w h a t e v e r you 've h e a r d is r ight . T h e e n d i n g in this m o v i e b e l o n g s
o n the s a m e m a n t e l p i e c e as The Usual Suspects, a n d Seven a m o n g o t h -
ers, with the hints t o w a r d s it b e i n g p r o v i d e d a l l t h r o u g h ou t the m o v i e .
Helen Imran
4 Game% Feli
& ' 15 ()*+,-+. 1999
In association with
gameswire.com A WHOLE NEW WORLD
Eidos/Post-it
competition
This c o m p e t i t i o n w a s real ly o ve r-
s u b s c r i b e d m m m m . W h a t is the
matter with e v e r y o n e ? W e are p r e -
p a r e d to g ive a w a y FREE stuff to
you p o o r students but not m a n y
p e o p l e en te red the c o m p e t i t i o n .
W e w o u l d l ike to see a n i m p r o v e -
ment next t ime . A n y w a y the w i n -
ners of the R E A C T a c r o n y m c o m -
pet i t ion a r e :
Peter Reeves-Hall
Chris Haynes
Chris Dickinson
Joel Dearden
Paul Alexander
The 3 best a c r o n y m s in o u r h u m -
ble o p i n i o n we re :
Reality Endures And Computers
Tease
Really Enthusiastic About
Computer Technology
Runny Ectoplasmic Arseholes
Creating Treacle
P l ease c o m e a n d c o l l e c t y o u r
g o o d y b a g s at the Fel ix o f f i ce .
IB
Just look what the winners are
enjoying...
Rage of Mages I (PC)
Rage o f Mages II is m u c h like the o r i g i n a l , a hybr id of
R P G a n d strategy, but there have b e e n s o m e very
w e l c o m e re f inements . A s be fo re you w a n d e r a b o u t a
Warcraf r- l ike m a p , f igh t ing monste rs a n d trying to
a c c o m p l i s h g o a l s . A s you w h a c k mons te r s , they c a n
leave b e h i n d g o l d a n d e q u i p m e n t that you c a n use to
i m p r o v e y o u r cha rac te r , p lus you r skil ls a n d hit points
as y o u f ight. U p o n c o m p l e t i n g you r g o a l , you c a n
m o v e o n to the next m i s s i o n , o r h a n g a r o u n d a n d
e x p l o r e the m a p fully, l o o k i n g fo r m o r e monsters a n d
m o r e g o l d . Be tween m iss ions , you stop at towns to
t rade stuff, o r hire me r cena r i e s if you think the next
m i s s i on wi l l r equ i re a n extra body.
W h a t is g rea t a b o u t this g a m e is its non-l ineari ty. You
don ' t h a ve to d o the quests in a pa r t i cu l a r order , you
c a n c h o o s e w h i c h ques t a n d w h e n . O n the d o w n s ide
the g r a p h i c s a re not very a d v a n c e d so d o not expec t
to be w o w e d . A l s o , the character ' s m o v e m e n t s a re
qui te jerky a n d slow. Say ing this g r a p h i c s a re sec-
o n d a r y in these sorts of g a m e s a n d it is real ly the
p layab i l i t y a n d in te rac t ion that you're after.
ROM2 fea tures a s im p l e but effect ive batt le structure,
a k i n to the w o r l d of WarCraft. Point a n d c l ick to tell
you r c h a r a c t e r w h a t to d o , wh i ch spel l to cast , wh i ch
m o n s t e r to a t tack , etc. Real t ime g a m e p l a y fo r ces you
to d e t e r m i n e p l ans of at tack be fo re the f ight, a n d
R O M 2 wil l k e e p you constant ly th ink ing .
O n e th ing w h i c h I f o u n d a n n o y i n g a b o u t this g a m e is
that it is very h a r d . Usua l l y ha rd g a m e s m a k e fo r a n
interest ing c h a l l e n g e but w h e n you keep o n dy ing
you lose interest. It was a case of s a v i ng every c o u p l e
of m inu tes for f e a r i n g of b e i n g m a s s a c r e d by cer ta in
z o m b i e s a n d o the r ne fa r ious c rea ture .
In c o n c l u s i o n the g a m e is a nice RPG/s t ra tegy but
there is not m u c h new here . I, pe r sona l l y en j o ye d it
but it d o e s have a jerky qua l i t y a n d is s o m e t i m e s very
tricky. If it weren' t fo r the l ikes of D i a b l o II c o m i n g out
s o o n I might have b o u g h t this g a m e straight off but I
th ink it is best to wai t fo r it to c o m e out in budge t .
Nocturne (PC)
I can't r e m e m b e r the last t ime I was as d i s a p p o i n t e d in a
g a m e as I was with N o c t u r n e . I r ead al l the hype,
d r o o l e d over the screenshots a n d was so exci ted to have
a p rev i ew copy , I c o u l d hardly get the C D into the dr ive.
I w o u l d guess that the fee l ing of exc i tement lasted a b o u t
two minutes o n c e I started p lay ing the g a m e itself. The
p r o b l e m is that it iacks that most impor tan t e l ement in -
a decen t , o r i g i n a l , i d e a . This g a m e has been m a d e so
many t imes be fore , so m u c h better. This is the kind of
g a m e that causes me to lose faith in the industry. I m e a n ,
the guys w h o write these g a m e s must be intel l igent o r
they couldn ' t c o p e with the p r o g r a m m i n g . So h o w c a n
no on e in this b ig g r o u p of intel l igent p e o p l e spot that
what you are re leas ing is a pi le of w a r m e d - o v e r repet i-
tive rubb ish?
First off, any sense of i m m e r s i o n in the g a m e , vitally
impor tant in hor ro r g a m e s if it is g o i n g to be scary in the
slightest, is dest royed by the infur iat ing f ixed third person
v iewpoint . The g raph i c s may be g o o d , but as the only
th ing that actua l ly moves is the m a i n cha rac t e r a n d a
few pathet ic l o o k i n g w a l k i n g corpses the visuals s o o n
lose their a p p e a l . The c a m e r a ang l es are so b a d half the
t ime you can't even see you r cha rac t e r - fa l l ing to your
dea th over a prec ip i ce you cou ldn ' t even see because
the g a m e eng ine is so p o o r is not my i dea of fun .
Then there is the c o m b a t . A i m i n g in third pe rson is di f f i-
cult e n o u g h , but the cont ro l system is even worse , l e a d -
ing to bizarre s i tuat ions with my cha r a c t e r s tand ing in the
co rne r shoo t ing at the g r o u n d instead of at the d o g that
was busy g n a w i n g my leg off. Personal ly, I think the only
reason the b a d guys are al l s l ow m o v i n g z o m b i e s is that
shoo t ing anyth ing m o v i n g m u c h faster w o u l d be i m p o s -
sible due to the p o o r cont ro l s a n d c a m e r a ang les .
Even worse , in o rde r to play N o c t u r n e proper l y requires
a very h igh-end m a c h i n e (about a Pen t iuml l l -450 a n d a
decen t 32-bi t 3 D card) . This is most definitely not the
kind of g a m e that w o u l d e n c o u r a g e m e to u p g r a d e .
A v o i d it as you w o u l d the w a l k i n g , d i s e a s e r idden
co rps e of M a g g i e Thatcher .
M a r k Ben
5 s 5
l i i i i l l l
Flanker 2.0 (PC)
Flight s imula t ions are usual ly d i v ided into two types
- the mind less , a r c a d e style affairs a n d the type that
c o m e s with a m a n u a l f ou r hundred pages l ong
requir ing a degree in ae ronau t i c s a n d a private
pilots l icense to fly.
Flanker 2 is s u p p o s e d to fill the vo id between these
two types - even without the m a n u a l I was in the a i r
a n d shoot ing things d o w n well e n o u g h after a few
minutes. There are a l so var ious t ra in ing miss ions
ava i l ab le in-game in w h i c h , a n d as a learn ing
method they are extremely effective. The F lanker of
the game ' s title is the S U - 2 7 , the latest, hardest
(and p robab l y biggest) Russian f ighter p lane . I a m
told that because the Russian a r m e d services d o
pretty m u c h anything fo r m o n e y these days , the
deve lopers were a l l o w e d access to all sorts of
in format ion o n the p l ane that wouldn ' t have been
ava i l ab le if they'd c h o s e n a n A m e r i c a n p lane .
Whe the r a n y o n e but the most ded i c a t e d flight
fanat ic w o u l d notice the dif ference I doub t very
m u c h , however - w h e n was the last t ime you a c t u -
ally flew an F-1 6 ?
I d o think that perhaps this real ism drive might
have g o n e a little far though - all the cockp i t
switches are labe l led in Russian only, wh ich does
noth ing to e n h a n c e playability. Indeed the who l e
g a m e seems to have been des igned with a very
Russian military des ign pol icy in m i n d : keep it s i m -
ple , bui ld someth ing that does the job a n d forget
the rest. W h e r e it counts (ie a r o u n d target areas)
the graph ics are very de ta i l ed , but e lsewhere they
b e c o m e blurry a n d lack c o l o u r depth . This means
it runs extremely smooth ly even on my o ld P C ,
someth ing many other m o d e r n flight sims don ' t d o .
The emphas i s is very much on the detai ls of flying,
not o n flashy eye-candy.
Here's on e examp le of the k ind of miss ion in the
g a m e : dur ing o n e anti-ship miss ion I took out the
c o m b a t a i r patrol f r om l ong range a n d dove in o n
the target sh ip. Firing two sea-sk imming missiles at
it I turned for h o m e o n full afterburner, s k i m m i n g
the waves at 1 3 0 0 k p h . A s I wa t ched the missiles
streak t a rg e tw a rds , two s h i p - l a u n c h e d S A M S
d o w n e d bo th of t h e m , l e a v i ng m e with no
w e a p o n s a n d l ook ing a right f o o l . N o w that is
deta i l .
If you take the t ime to get beyond the initial t ra in-
ing miss ions , this is a b ig g a m e with loads of m is-
sions to play. The mult ip layer sect ion is well i m p l e -
mented a n d enter ta in ing, a l t hough it lacks the per-
sona l c o m b a t touch of W o r l d W a r II dogf igh t ing
g a m e s . It is not a new b e n c h m a r k in c o m b a t flight
s imula t ions , but it's definitely up their with the best
of them.
• Ben
The most impor tant fact a b o u t this g a m e is that it's
great fun to play. F rom the cutesy, squeaky ca r toon
characters to the very c lear g raph i c s , everything is
en joyab le .
A 3 D plat form g a m e a l o n g the lines of M a r i o 6 4 ,
Rayman 2 is definitely worth a try if you like that
sort of th ing. The storyline may be a bit we i rd at
t imes, but then w h o really takes any notice of plots
in g a m e s anyway? Basical ly, you play Rayman , a
f loppy-eared creature with no arms o r legs - his
feet a n d hands just f loat a r o u n d - a n d have to save
the wor ld by jump ing a r o u n d a n d co l lec t ing things.
The g a m e eases you in gradua l l y with a lot of easy
levels early o n . Wi th a bit of pat ience you'll s o o n
get on to the more cha l l eng ing a n d fun levels. This
is certainly a big g a m e , as I've been play ing for a
week now a n d my score is still only 8 % . It's a l so
reward ing , as you are always d iscover ing new lev-
els a n d spec ia l sect ions, not just frustratingly wa l k-
ing round the s a m e levels a g a i n a n d a g a i n l o o k -
ing for the exit
A fair bit of thought has obv ious ly g o n e into the
level des ign , a n d s o m e of the puzzles a n d tricks are
especia l ly cunn ing . They are a lso va r i ed , not just
the endless repeat ing " jump, walk , j ump , shoot" of
many 3 D plat form g a m e s on the P C . The puzzles
aren't exactly brain-taxers, never g o i n g beyond the
s tandard 'pull the switch to o p e n the doo r 1 k ind
really, but you n eed pretty g o o d c o o r d i n a t i o n to
get far. O n the who l e the c a m e r a ang l es are g o o d ,
a n d you c a n a lways m o v e the c a m e r a if you need
to.
The g raph i cs are wel l d r a w n a n d de ta i l ed , a n d the
s o u n d effects are suitably squeaky a n d ca r toon
like. The mus ic is bouncy a n d fun , with nice little
trills w h e n you d o someth ing important . It's a little
like p lay ing in on e of those kids ca r toons that are
on TV early Saturday m o r n i n g .
A l l in a l l , Rayman 2 is a n extremely well po l i shed
g a m e . It may be a little ch i ld i sh , but if you treat it
as a bit of a l augh a n d just play the g a m e , it'll s o o n
d raw you in a n d have you hitting the keyboa rd in
disgust when you miss a n easy jump a n d p o o r lit-
tle Rayman p lunges to his d o o m just before you
comp le t e the level .
• Ben
s x
method ^
U J *
The David's The Turner Prize 1 999 Dirk
F i n b o u r o u g h Thea t r e -
Earls C o u r t t ube
£5 C o n e .
H a r d c o r e . I a m wel l
a w a r e that this p lay w a s
not a i m e d at a w i d e s e c -
tion of the p u b l i c a n d
unless you a re a m i d d l e -
a g e d h o m o s e x u a l
u n a b l e to f ind the b a l -
a n c e be tween a m o n o g -
a m o u s r e l a t i onsh ip a n d
m i d n i g h t s o d o m y with
s t rangers on the h e a t h ,
then the issues of this
p lay wi l l p e r h a p s s e e m a
little d is tant .
The p lay a t t empted to
dea l with these issues
t h r o u g h the u n c e r t a i n
re l a t ionsh ip be tween a n
o l d e r love r a n d a y o u n g
guy in a boy b a n d . The
cha rac t e r s spen t a l m o s t
half the t ime butt n a k e d
o r s h a g g i n g . I respec t
the ac to rs fo r a t t empt i ng
such a h a r d co r e p i e c e
of theatre a n d the wri ter
f o r d e a l i n g wi th the
issues in such a f rank
way but it never real ly
w o r k e d .
Bas ica l l y the p r o d u c t i o n
was ou t of it's d e p t h a n d
as a result e n d e d up
be ing l o n g p e r i o d s of
b o r e d o m p u n c t u a t e d by
brief m o m e n t s of b u g -
gery.
Tate G a l l e r y - P i m l i co tube
Free
If you d e c i d e to visit this exh ib i t ion (and you shou ld ) , you wil l not de pa r t with the
s a m e i m p r e s s i o n as us. Tha t ' s wha t the Turner Prize is al l a b o u t ; it c h a l l e n g e s o u r
de f in i t i on of " a r t " . Short-l isted for the pr ize this yea r a re f ou r very con t rove r s i a l artists
- n o n e m o r e so than Tracy E m i n . H e r work is str ik ing b e c a u s e of the w ide r a n g e of
r e sponses that it p r o v o k e s . H e r s h o w p i e c e c o m p r i s e s of her sick b e d , e m b r o i d e r e d
qui l t (p ic tured a b o v e ) , m e m o r a b i l i a a n d v i d e o f o o t a g e . Is she a se l f-centred na r c i s -
sistic tart w h o boos t s he r e g o t h r o u g h c a p t u r i n g o u r sympathy ? O r is she w a n t i n g
to s h a m e hersel f t h r o u g h lay ing ba re her life to the j u d g e m e n t of o thers? D o you feel
s o r r o w fo r her o r c o n t e m p t ? E i ther way she has h a d a co l ou r fu l a n d , at t imes , so r-
d id past , wh i ch p e r h a p s she is trying to r e conc i l e t h r o u g h her wo rk , c o m i n g to terms
with the t r a u m a (part icu lar ly sexual ) she desc r ibes in her ch i ld i sh s c r ibb l es . It's p r o b -
ab ly the most i m m e d i a t e l y a c c e s s i b l e of al l the work s h o w n .
J a n e a n d Lou ise W i l s o n ' s d i sp l ay a l so s tudies aspec ts of h u m a n na tu re , t h r o u g h
l o o k i n g at h o w expe r i en ce s have b e c o m e i n g r a i n e d in the f ab r i c of two dist inct l o c a -
t i ons ; the H o o v e r d a m a n d a Las V e g a s c a s i n o . The i r wa l l to wa l l c i n e m a t i c d i sp l ay
not on ly recreates the a t m o s p h e r e a n d d i so r i en ta t i on of the C a s i n o life style (with it 's
w r a p - a r o u n d v isua ls a n d evoca t i ve s o u n d t rack) , but it a l s o reflects the uncer ta in l y
a n d c h e a p n e s s of such a n ex is tence . The d a m ' s co r r i do r s stretch away into n o t h i n g -
ness , c o m p l e m e n t i n g the c a s i n o f o o t a g e , m a k i n g you unsure wh i ch path o r c h a n c e
to t ake .
Steve M c Q u e e n a i m s to p r o d u c e a phys i ca l r eac t ion in the v iewer, this t ime m o r e fo r
c o m i c effect. H is D e a d Pan is a rec rea t ion of a Buster K e a t o n ske tch , with the s ide
of a h o u s e f a l l i ng o n the artist, on l y for h im to m i r a cu l ou s l y survive s ince the empty
w i n d o w f r a m e fal ls a r o u n d h i m . This p r o m o t e s the i dea of gravity c r ea t i ng a so l id
a n d very rea l threat , a n d of the artist t ak ing a risk for his t r ade . His work c a n be
in terpre ted in a n u m b e r of ways , a n d in spite of the fact that it is not i m m e d i a t e l y
a c c e s s i b l e , this m a k e s is a l l the m o r e r e w a r d i n g .
O n the sur face Steven P ipp in ' s wo rk seems m o r e l ike s c i ence than art. H e has c o n -
ver ted twelve w a s h i n g m a c h i n e s in to p in ho le c a m e r a s , c a p a b l e of d e v e l o p i n g the i r
s l ides wi th in the w a s h i n g cyc le . These p ic tures a re d i s p l a ye d in series a l o n g the w a l l ,
but unfor tunate ly the c o n c e p t of h o w they were t aken is m o r e exc i t ing than wha t you
ac tua l l y see - a l t h o u g h h im w a l k i n g t h r o u g h the laundere t te in his y-fronts with a v is-
ib le e rec t ion m a y be interest ing to s o m e . A g o o d i d e a but the results were un insp i r -
i n g .
B e n
W e c o u l d n ' t a g r e e o n a n ove ra l l w inner .
Tom & Emma
The c o u n t d o w n begins for Dram-
Soc 's a m a z i n g Chr i s tmas product ion
Imper ia l ' s t h e sp i an s are t a k i n g o n
s o m e t h i n g h u g e ; the first i n d e -
p e n d e n t s h o w i n g eve r of Dirk. The
scr ipt is a d a p t e d f r o m Dirk Gen-
tly 's Holistic Detective Agency by
D o u g l a s A d a m s (au thor of the
H i t c h Hickers Guide to the
Galaxy).
Mr. A d a m s was i n vo l ved in the
wr i t ing of this p l ay a n d has sent
w o r d s of a d v i c e to D r a m S o c ;
" D o n ' t worry a b o u t the story a n d
just have f u n " .
This p lay is eas i ly the most t e c h n i -
ca l ly c h a l l e n g i n g that D r a m S o c
has ever d o n e (it i n c l udes a s p a c e -
sh ip l a n d i n g o n stage) , but if any
tech c rew c a n h a n d l e it, D r a m S o c
a re d a boyz .
T ickets £4 .50 f r o m 2 9 t h N o v - at
the U n i o n O f f i c e o r o n the door .
S h o w i n g 8 - 1 1 D e c e m b e r
Time's Running Out To See
Higher than Bable
The r e l a t i onsh ip be tween S c i ence
a n d Soc ie ty is e x p l o r e d .
Br idwe l l Thea t r e .
F in ishes 2 0 N o v - £8
Some Explicit Polaroids
D o we c a r e a b o u t any real p r i n c i -
p les o r d o w e just wan t to get
p i ssed al l the t ime?
N e w A m b a s s a d o r Thea t re
F in ishes 2 0 N o v - £ 5 -20
5 s
d /\ 1 I P «
m I
mi
sSack l e r W i n g , Roya l A c a d e m y of Arts - N e a r e s t Tube : G r e e n Park
Un t i l : 6 Feb rua r y 2 0 0 0
This exhib i t ion was s o m e t h i n g of a n O c t o b e r Revo lu t ion . If you g o , you
may be f o r ced to a g r e e that it is the exh ib i t ion of the year. A m a z i n g as a
who l e a n d yet every pa in t ing is spec i a l in its o w n right. The hype was :
Five Russian (Na ta l i a G o n c h a r o v a , Lu ibov P o p o v a , O l g a R o z a n o v a , Var-
vara S t e p a n o v a , N a d e z h d a Uda l t sova ) a n d o n e U k r a i n i a n (A lexandra
Exter) artist s h o w i n g m o r e than fifty pa in t ings , m a n y never before seen in
the West . W e f o l l ow the careers of these artists in a sweep th rough the
years immed ia t e l y be fore a n d after the 1 9 1 7 Revo lu t ion . I went in want-
ing to l ike this exh ib i t ion a n d c a m e out in love . But there are just t oo
m any fantast ic pictures here a n d I a m s t rugg l ing to desc r ibe t hem.
A p p r o a c h O l g a R o z a n o v a ' s Jack of Hearts a n d you think: she is copy i n g
P icasso . T h e n you r e a d : pa in ted a b o u t 1 9 1 2 . T h e n you w o n d e r : this
pa in t ing w o u l d pass fo r a P i casso c i r ca 1 9 6 0 . In 1 9 1 7 , R o z a n o v a pa in t-
ed G r e e n Stripe (Colour Painting). This is pure ly abstract , reduct ive a n d
a lmos t unbe l i evab l y a h e a d of its t ime . P o p o v a is equa l l y impress ive with
her b o l d , d r a m a t i c , of ten abstract fo rms (Painterly Architectonics). These
artists were so avan t-garde that they fo resaw the future of Western art. Its
a lmos t as surpr is ing as Q u e e n V i c to r i a p red ic t ing the internet, a n d then
hav ing her p a l a c e w i red up fo r it.
O f the six, G o n c h a r o v a was the most d e d i c a t e d pa inter (the others
w o r k e d o n theatre sets a n d textiles). She p i cked up Western inf luences
a n d m a d l y ran with t h e m , p r o d u c i n g pictures of qui te striking original i ty.
Start ing in 1 9 0 7 with a beaut i fu l ly executed Impressionist self-portrait
(Self-Portrait with Yellow Lilies), she evo lves effortlessly into a m o r e futur-
ist style (Pillars of Salt, 1 9 0 8 ) . T h e n , in a little ove r two years , she paints
the da rk l y-b rood in g mas te rp i ece Apocalypse (Elder with Seven Stars),
wh ich c o u l d be c o n t e m p o r a r y art. So f o rwa rd l o o k i n g , it was c o n s i d e r e d
b l a s p h e m o u s a n d c a u s e d a po l i t i ca l s torm at the t ime. U n p e r t u r b e d , she
s p e a r h e a d e d the Russ ian Cubo-Fu tu r i s t m o v e m e n t , with pictures l ike The
Weaver (Loom and Woman).
But the pa int ings are m o r e than w o n d e r f u l . Every o n e is a un ique syner-
gy of Western in f luence a n d Russian fo lk art. G o n c h a r o v a takes the t r a-
dit ions of Russia a n d reinterprets t hem in pictures l ike M o w e r s , wh i ch has
the a i r of a med i e va l a l l e g o r i c a l pa in t i ng . A l e x a n d r a Exter pa in ted in a n
abstract style but w a s fo reve r interested in the t r ad i t i ona l , c lass ica l r ep-
resentat ion of l a n d s c a p e , m a g i c a l l y expressed in Cityscape (Composi-
tion). I a m speech l ess !
eTate G a l l e r y - Nea r e s t Tube : P i m l i c o
Un t i l : 3 0 J anua r y 2 0 0 0
G a t e c r a s h i n g T h u r s d a y N i g h t C o c k t a i l s at U C L U n i o n . Is this y o u r on l y
B l o o m s b u r y E x p e r i e n c e ? If it is , B l o o m s b u r y wi l l not b e a very e v o c a t i v e
p l a c e f o r y o u . A f te r c l o s i n g t i m e , w e a l l k n o w that y o u n e e d a j un i o r d o c t o r ' s
s t a m i n a just to s t and n e a r t h o s e s l o s h e d s tudents s i c k i n g u p a n d u p a n d u p .
But h a v i n g b e e n a U C L u n d e r g r a d u a t e a n d s o m e t i m e r e s iden t of C a r t w r i g h t
G a r d e n s , I a l s o k n o w B l o o m s b u r y f o r its leafy s q u a r e s a n d g r a c e f u l G e o r -
g i a n t e r r a c e s : s em i-my th i c a l h o m e l a n d of that f a m o u s c o l l e c t i v e of r a d i c a l
i n te l l e c tua l s k n o w n as the B l o o m s b u r y G r o u p . W i t h i n easy s t u m b l i n g d i s -
t a n c e of U C L a re the f o r m e r h o u s e s of V i r g i n i a W o o l f , J o h n M a y n a r d
Keynes , E M Forster, R o g e r Fry, V a n e s s a Bel l a n d D u n c a n G r a n t . T h e last
th ree we re artists a n d this n e w e x h i b i t i o n f o l l o w s the i r i n t e r l i n k e d c a r ee r s
f r o m 1 9 1 0 .
Sad ly , this exh ib i t i on inadve r ten t l y por t rays B l o o m s b u r y as a f o s s i l i s ed b a c k -
wa te r of art ist ic med ioc r i t y . A l t h o u g h R o g e r Fry w a s the first to i n t r o d u c e
I m p r e s s i o n i s m in to the Br i t ish art m a i n s t r e a m , m o s t of his o w n w o r k a n d that
of Bel l a n d G r a n t is, w i t hou t d o u b t , i n c r e d i b l y du l l a n d very m u c h of its a g e .
T h e r e we re o v e r a h u n d r e d a r c h e t y p a l B l o o m s b u r y w o r k s (sti l l-l ifes, portraits)
a n d s o m e of t h e m we re d is t inct ly th i rd ra te . V a n e s s a Be l l ' s The H a / s t a c k ,
A s h e h a m is ba re l y d i s t i n g u i s h a b l e f r o m the p o o r l y e x e c u t e d d a u b s of a n
a m a t e u r . Yet o thers g i ve the i m p r e s s i o n of b o r e d o m : i m a g i n e V a n e s s a Bel l
s itt ing a r o u n d with n o t h i n g to d o a n d d e s p e r a t e l y r a c k i n g h e r b r a in s f o r
s o m e t h i n g ' c l e v e r ' to pa in t . In the b a c k g r o u n d of D u n c a n G r a n t ' s Still Life
With Matisse, there is a r e p r o d u c t i o n of M a t i s s e ' s Blue Nude I. I'm a f r a i d to
say that M a t i s s e , e v en in i m i t a t i o n , put e ve r y th ing e lse to s h a m e .
T h e t r a g e d y is that there we re o n l y f ive rea l l y s t r ik ing p a i n t i n g s in the ent i re
e x h i b i t i o n . T h e s e w e r e a c t u a l l y not a l l that w o n d e r f u l a n d h a v e b e e n d o n e
e l s e w h e r e a n d better. Yet they we re aes the t i c a l l y p l e a s i n g a n d c a p t i v a t e d m e
e i ther by the i r i n t imacy with the sub jec t ( G r a n t : V a n e s s a Bell at Charleston
a n d Vanessa Bell Pregnant) o r the i r v i b r a n t w a r m t h ( G r a n t : The D o o r w a y a n d
South of France; Fry: V i e w o f Cassis).
The i m p a c t of this e x h i b i t i o n re l ies ent i re ly u p o n its con tex t . T h e B l o o m s b u r y
ce lebr i t y c o n n e c t i o n m e a n s that p e o p l e h a n d o v e r m o n e y to see s o m e t h i n g
that w o u l d b e , u n d e r n o r m a l c i r c u m s t a n c e s , f i rmly r o o t e d in the s e c o n d d i v i -
s ion (and I a m b e i n g c h a r i t a b l e here ) . But, in sp i te of th is , I c o u l d n ' t h e l p but
fa l l in to the ce lebr i t y t r a p a n d b e g i n to l ike these p i c tu r e s .
• • • • • William Burns William Burns
s x
d
t
F i n b o r o u g h Thea t r e
Nea r e s t Tube : Ear ls C o u r t
Unt i l : 2 7 N o v e m b e r 1 9 9 9
H o u s t o n , we have a p r o b -
l e m ! O r rather severa l p r o b -
lems , w h i c h left this p lay
dr i f t ing s o m e w h a t fo r lo rn l y
in s p a c e . A l l two of us in the
a u d i e n c e w e r e t o l d the
w a c k y story of a Ken t i sh
Town ca te re r w h o b e l i e v e d
that his m o t h e r w a s a n
as t ronaut . The p lay e n d e d
to the strains of Lucy In The
Sky W i th D i a m o n d s , w h i c h I
think just a b o u t s u m m e d up
this sur rea l e x p e r i e n c e .
G i v e n the cons t ra in ts of this
tiny theat re , the two-pe r son
cas t ( A n t h o n y Best a n d
Den i se Lane) d i d w h a t they
c o u l d . M r Best d i d no t
a lways d o his best , o n c e f o r -
g e t t i n g his l ines r a t h e r
n o t i c e a b l y a n d n e e d i n g
three l o u d p r o m p t s . M s Lane
a l s o s u f f e r e d f r o m First
N igh t N e r v e s a n d it c o n -
cerns m e that p r o f e s s i o n a l
actors s h o u l d be so a m a -
teur ish , e spec i a l l y w h e n the
punters a r e p a y i n g g o o d
money .
I f ind it h a r d to s l a m this p l ay
(I feel sorry fo r them) . But if
you w a n t to g o , I'd hurry,
b e c a u s e I suspec t this pe r-
f o r m a n c e wi l l be p u l l e d l o n g
be fore the end of its s c h e d -
uled s e a s o n .
• William Burns
" Le t a t h o u s a n d f l o w e r s b l o o m " s a i d M a o
Tse T e u n g then s t a m p e d o n the i r h e a d s a s
he d i d n ' t l ike the c o l o u r .
T h e f r i n g e s c e n e . It's m a d e up of a n u m b e r
of s i d e s ; w e h a v e the wr i ters w h o strive to
c r e a t e the truly o r i g i n a l - a c t o r s w h o try a n d
b r e a t h l ife in to the n e w scr ip ts - a n d cr i t ics
w h o s l a g off b o t h the o the r s f o r b e i n g c r a p .
Is the re a n y w a y o u t of this p a r a d o x . N o p e .
F o r every g r e a t p l a y the re a r e t h o u s a n d s of
r u b b i s h o n e s - the re has to b e . Yet w i thou t
the f r i n g e s c e n e (wh ich a l l o w s e x p e r i m e n t a l
t hea t r e to d e v e l o p ) w e w o u l d n e v e r h a v e
the t ru ly g r ea t .
M o s t of the stuff o n at the f r i n g e is b a d . But
this d o e s not m e a n it is w o r t h l e s s . For
s o m e t h i n g to be o r i g i n a l it mus t t ake a risk
- a n d that risk is that it w i l l e n d u p b e i n g
c r a p .
W e a l l r e m e m b e r S h a k e s p e a r e , but the re
w e r e h u n d r e d s of p l aywr i t e s a r o u n d at the
t i m e ; m o s t w e r e in f in i te ly f o r g e t t a b l e , but
S h a k e s p e a r e w o u l d n e v e r h a v e d e v e l o p e d
w i t h o u t a c t o r s w i l l i n g to ac t a n d thea t r e s in
n e e d of s h o w s .
N e w o r i g i n a l t hea t r e is very rare a n d - to
t o p it off - w h e n it d o e s c o m e a l o n g , s o c i -
ety d i s m i s s e s it as w o r t h l e s s as it is not
r e a d y yet. But this is the o n l y w a y it c a n be
- the re n e e d s to be a l a r g e a n d v i b r a n t
f r i n g e s c e n e ful l off c r a p w h i c h the g r e a t
wi l l t r a n s c e n d . A n d yes w e e ven n e e d the
cr i t i cs t r a s h i n g eve ry t h i n g they d o n ' t u n d e r -
s t a n d a n d h a i l i n g s o m e t h i n g as a m a s t e r -
p i e c e eve ry f o r t n i gh t o r s o .
Let a t h o u s a n d f l o w e r s b l o o m , but a c c e p t
m o s t of t h e m wi l l be ugly.
Ben
Royal College
Science Union
an u an
Monday 15 November
7:30pm in the Senior Common Room
5 s 9
T h r e e Women.
Three Women,
Marge Piercy
Three W o m e n is the latest n o v e l
f r o m A m e r i c a n a u t h o r M a r g e
P iercy a n d f o l l o w s th ree g e n e r a -
t ions of w o m e n : S u z a n n e is a
h igh ly s u c c e s s f u l l aw ye r w h o h a s
just e m b a r k e d o n a n e w e r a in
her l i fe , t e a c h i n g at B o s t o n U n i -
versity a n d b e g i n n i n g a n e w r e l a -
t i o n s h i p f o l l o w i n g a n i n t e r n e t
r o m a n c e . Bever ly , he r m o t h e r a n d
o n e t i m e p o l i t i c a l a c t i v i s t , is
f ie rce ly i n d e p e n d e n t yet h e r l ife is
sha t t e red as she suf fers a d e b i l i -
t a t i n g s t r o k e a n d b e c o m e s
i n c r e a s i n g l y r e l i a n t o n t h o s e
a r o u n d her . E l e n a , S u z a n n e ' s
feisty d a u g h t e r , l o ses h e r j o b a s a
wai t ress a n d is f o r c e d to m o v e
b a c k in with h e r mothe r .
A s they a r e t h r o w n t oge the r , the
w o m e n a re f o r c e d to r ead jus t
the i r l ives a n d r e c o n s i d e r the i r
r e l a t i o n s h i p s . P ie rcy t a c k l e s b o t h
m a t e r n a l r e s p o n s i b i l i t i e s a n d f i l i a l
loya l ty in a way that is c h a l l e n g -
ing yet p o i g n a n t . T h e story a l s o
t o u c h e s o n issues a s d i v e r s e as
e u t h a n a s i a a n d adu l te ry .
The b o o k is wr i t ten f r o m the p o i n t
of v i ew of a l l th ree w o m e n a n d
the a u t h o r ' a t t e n t i o n t o d e t a i l
a l l o w s the r e a d e r t o e m p a t h i s e
w i th a l l the m a i n c h a r a c t e r s .
H o w e v e r , at t imes I f o u n d the
b o o k , pa r t i cu l a r l y the r e f e r e n c e s
to A m e r i c a n l aw , ve r y h e a v y
g o i n g . If y o u l ike i n t e n s e , r o m a n -
tic s a g a s , this is the b o o k f o r y o u l
Un fo r tuna t e l y , it is no t the b o o k
f o r m e .
books
England England, Julian Barnes
Th is o n e g o e s ou t to a l l the M u r d o c h - h a t e r s ou t there . N o m i n a t e d fo r the 1 9 9 8
B o o k e r , he re is a b o o k that bu i l d s u p o n the s t a n d a r d t h e m e of art b e i n g u s e d as
a subst i tu te f o r reality. The b o o k starts out with a n e x p l o r a t i o n of the m a n n e r in
w h i c h we cons t ru c t a r t i f i c i a l w o r l d s , on l y to f in ish with a s c a t h i n g a t tack on w h a t
B a rnes g e n e r a l l y pe r ce i v e s as a l a ck of c o n s c i o u s n e s s with r e g a r d to t rue a u t h e n -
ticity a n d h e r i t a g e .
The b a s i c story l ine f o l l o w s the ra ther g r a n d i o s e s c h e m e of m u l t i m i l l i o n a i r e Sir
J a c k P i tman to c r ea t e the grea tes t tour is t a t t r ac t i on eve r - the t h e m e p a r k to bea t
a l l t h e m e p a r k s . Th is is n o o r d i n a r y p a r k , this o n e o c c u p i e s the w h o l e of the Isle
of W i g h t ! The is le , n o w re-chr i s tened " E n g l a n d , E n g l a n d " has l i fe l ike r ep l i c a s -
a n d in s o m e c a s e s , the o r i g i n a l s w h i c h h a v e b e e n s p e c i a l l y m o v e d there - of a l l
the u s u a l tour is t a t t r ac t ions that e a r n the Bri t ish Isles so m u c h of the i r w e a l t h .
S t o n e h e n g e , W e s t m i n s t e r A b b e y a n d e ven B u c k i n g h a m P a l a c e a re i n c l u d e d in Pit-
man ' s c o l l e c t i o n . W i t h the Roya l Fami l y , T h e T i m e s a n d M a n c h e s t e r U n i t e d F C a l l
set f i rmly in p l a c e o n the Isle, " E n g l a n d , E n g l a n d " sets a l l ou t t o b r i n g the o n c e -
migh ty n a t i o n to its k n e e s .
T h e c en t r a l c h a r a c t e r is the cyn i c M a r t h a C o c h r a n e w h o , desp i t e b e i n g u n u s u a l -
ly d i s sa t i s f i ed a b o u t th ings in g e n e r a l , m a n a g e s to get i n v o l v e d with this g i a n t
p ro j e c t a n d even tua l l y b l a c k m a i l s her way r ight to the t o p . B a rnes is at his best
w h e n d e p i c t i n g M a r t h a , w h o s e d i a l o g u e r ings very t rue a n d is neve r ove r l y h a r s h
d e s p i t e the ever-present s a r c a s t i c u n d e r t o n e s .
H o w e v e r , the e n d is fa i r ly d i r e a n d p r e d i c t a b l e ; E n g l a n d , E n g l a n d d e c l a r e s its
i n d e p e n d e n c e , jo ins the E U , sh rugs off the m a i n l a n d c o m p l e t e l y a n d g e n e r a l l y
l e a d s the rest o f the w o r l d to first i g n o r e a n d then c o n d e m n the m a i n l a n d . O l d
E n g l a n d in a d e s p e r a t e b i d to r e g a i n s o m e c red ib i l i t y re-chr is tens itself " A n g l i a "
a n d then expe l s the e r ran t i s l a n d . T h e T imes (which has m o v e d - a l o n g wi th a l l
o t h e r ins t i tu t ions - to the Isle) l abe l s this the act of a " b a n k r u p t pa r en t exaspe ra t -
ed ly d e c l a r i n g that it w o u l d n o l o n g e r unde rwr i t e the bi l ls of its m i l l i o n a i r e c h i l d " .
T h e w o r l d at l a rge b e g i n s t o fo rge t a b o u t eve ry th ing to d o d i rec t l y with O l d E n g -
l a n d , a n d the i s l a n d s i m p l y reverts b a c k to the q u a i n t p r im i t i ve days of yo re . The
f o c u s shifts b a c k to M a r t h a at this po i n t , as she ref lects o n h o w th ings have
c h a n g e d so rap id ly .
T h e e n d rea l l y d o e s s e e m t a g g e d o n , howeve r . It is ex t reme ly a b r u p t a n d eve ry-
t h i n g c h a n g e s in the s p a c e of a few p a g e s . Th is d i s tu rbs the na r ra t i ve f l o w a n d
m e a n s that it doesn ' t f in i sh s t rongly .
If you ' re a f a n of the dry a c e r b i c f o r m of sa t i r i ca l wit Ba rnes has e m p l o y e d f r e-
quent l y , t hen there a re a few g e m s , but if not then there is little r e a s o n to r e a d it.
The Restraint
of Beasts,
Magnus Mills
The first nove l by M i l l s ,
w h o w o r k e d as a bus
dr i ve r d u r i n g its wr i t ing ,
The Restraint of Beasts is
a b o o k of rea l c h a r a c t e r
a n d c o m i c c h a r m .
Two S co t t i sh w o r k i n g
c lass b ro the rs , Tarn a n d
R i ch i e , w a n n a b e ha rd-
r o c k e r s a n d s l a c k e r
f ence b u i l d e r s , p r o v i d e
the h u m o u r as v i ewed by
the p o o r s o u l f resh ly
a s s i g n e d as the boy s
f o r e m a n .
W h i l e not qu i te a l a u g h
a p a g e , I d i d l a u g h out
l o u d c o u n t l e s s t i m e s
d u r i n g the c o u r s e of
r e a d i n g , p r o m p t e d by
M i l l s d e a d p a n del ivery
a n d the a p p a r e n t id iocy
of the two bro thers , w h o
m a n a g e to get t h e m -
selves into al l sorts of
t r o u b l e .
A f resh c h a n g e of p a c e
a n d wel l wo r th a l o o k .
Helen
You wi l l l a u g h
• Russell
R e m e m b e r to s top by
W a t e r s t o n e ' s o n C a m -
pus w h e r e 'Fe l ix R e c o m -
m e n d s ' titles a re at a
Sun/7 2 0 % d i s c o u n t .
0 /0102 3456 Feli
7 8 15 9:;<=><? 1999
F V @ABCDE FG<6H45 I I<HJ<6H45H HH
N KLMNOPSTA Quiz Night
W i n £ 5 0 c a s h o r a
8 p m , d a V ine , s
R A G
0 . J C R
XS
C l a s s i c party tunes
f o r the pos t-match
party. 9-1 a m , dBs
Standing Rm Only
England v Scotland
The bar opens at
5 . 0 0 a n d the pre-
match bui ld-up c o m -
mences at 7 . 0 0 .
Pop Tarts
It d o e s n ' t mat te r w h a t
Fr iday n ight at the
u n i o n is c a l l e d - it's
a lw ays cheesy a n d it
a lw ays s o u n d s the
s a m e .
c
Archery
6 lOprn, Po ' i e c t i l e
Cent re )
B o o m or Bust @
Project Club
Free entry B4 1 1 p m .
Dr inks £1 e a c h , usual
mix of mus ic ,
Fencing Club
U n i o n G y m , 1 2 p m
W i n e Tasting
6 p m , dB ' s
Canoe Club
Pract ice s e s s i on , 7 p m
C A G
S o u p run , 8.1 5 p m
Space @Bar
Rhumba £3 B4 11
D e e p - tech- d i s co-
funky-house g r o o v e s .
Exce l lent n ight .
C A G
S o u p run , 8 . 1 5 p m
W e e k ' s B a s e m e n t
ICU Choir
R e h e a r s a l , 6.1 5 p m
R o o m 3 4 2 , M e c h
Eng .
• @
Wembley Arena
E35-25
PhotoSoc
a , i. p m
Sneaker Pimps @
ULU £8.50
Sure to be fantas t i c .
D o not miss .
m
East is East QRSTUV WXY m Z[\]̂family/ - -: " \> '
Ride with the Devil
Epic of the A m e r i c a n
C iv i l War, huge critical
sucess.
Empire .
2 . 1 0 , 5 .30 , 8 . 3 0 1 2 . 3 0 , 2 . 4 0 , 4 . 5 0
Ratcatcher
Set in 7 0 ' s G l a s g o w
a b o u t a b l o k e w h o
feels guilty a b o u t
ki l l ing his p a l .
V i rg in F u l h a m Rd.
4 . 0 0 , 7 . 0 0 , 9 . 2 0
Fight C lub
V i o l e n t , b l o o d y , B r a d
Pitt stars in this r e c -
o m m e n d e d f i lm
TV A river runs
through it
1 0 . 0 0 , C 4
B r a d Pitt stars in a n
' u n e x c e p t i o n a l ' f a m i -
ly d r a m a .
E m b a r r a s i n g
l lnesses
8 . 3 0 . C 4
The Big Mat ch
7 . 3 0 , ITV
E n g l a n d a n d Sco t-
l a n d batt le it out in a
Eu ro 2 0 0 0 qual i f ie r .
Who wants to be
a millionaire?
8 . 0 0 ; ITV
Chr i s Tarrant makes
s o m e more peop l e
Top of the Pops
7 . 3 0 , C I
M o r e cheesy char t
hits f r o m the c o u n -
try 's t o p t en .
Resident A l i e n
eccentr i c .
Some explicit
p o l a r o i d s
N e w A m b a s a d o r s
A re f resh ing p lay that
t ack les m a n y issues
i n c l u d i n g s o c i a l i s m .
F in ishes Friday.
M n e m o n i c
Rivers ide S tud ios
A new s h o w a b o u t
p l a c e a n d m e m o r y
prev iews today .
K i n g L e a r
B n r h i r n n
15 9:;<=><? 1999 _ Feli7 /0102 3456 1
D `abcdeaf
K u n g Fu Club
(Wu S h u Kwan)
Sou ths ide G y m
4 : 3 0 p m - 6 : 3 0 p m
CARWASH (o >Lon-
don Astoria
G l a m o r o u s d i sro a n d
funk d u b ,
lough
•d fo r a
Bowfinger
A n al l star cast of
c o m e d y greats. 'Pre-
posterous a n d utterly
se l f-absorbed. '
T r o c a d e r o
4 . 0 0 , 6 . 3 0 9 . 0 0
Casualty
8 0 5 , B B C 1
": . . :'
has to o f f e r - stay in
a n d wa tch pretend
.-.b-rfois.
H i g h e r t h an
B a b e l
T h e B r idewe l l
A b o u t the sc ient is t 's
ro le in society. F i n -
ishes today .
A ghijklSouthside pub
quiz
T h e q u i z f o r r e g u l a r s
a n d n e w c o m e r s
a l i k e c o n t i n u e s
t o d a y .
7 p m S o u t h s i d e b a r
K u n g Fu Club
{Wu S h u K w a n )
•4-30pm - 6:30pm
Comedy Store,
Piccadilly Circus
C h e a p i s h entry o n a
Sunday.
The Out of Towners
c C \ V " y
on1- . . o ' K r i
,-...2C -.3-5
EastEnders
o m n i b u s
1 . 0 0 , B B C 1
C a t c h u p o n the
eve r p o p u l a r s o a p .
Artists b o o k f a i r
The mnope daq rsrtu
-
Y 9<vw Week
R a n d o m H e a r t s
T h e n e w H a r r i s o n
Fo rd f l i ck o p e n s o n
the 1 9 t h .
N Group
I C U C o m m u n i t y A c t i o n
G r o u p U R G E N T L Y N E E D S
M I N I B U S D R I V E R S f o r t h e
T u e s d a y a n d T h u r s d a y
n i g h t s o u p r u n s .
So if you're over 21, have been driving in
the UK for at least 2 years, and can spare a
couple of hours on Tuesday or Thursday
evenings, then . . .
C o n t a c t N a d a a t lccag@flc .ac.uk
ACCESS FUNDS A U T U M N T E R M 1999
Full-time home students (including EU students
registered as "home" for fees purposes) are
invited to apply for Access Funds this round.
Undergraduate students should note that
applications can only be accepted from those
who have taken out a student loan this session.
First and second year undergraduates are also
required to apply for an additional hardship loan.
Forms are available from Student Finance Office
(334, Sherfield Building, South Ken) or /CU
Reception (South Ken). Contact Student Finance
(x. 58010), Kevin Butcher (x.58064) or Martin
Thomson (x.48067).
Closing Date: 19th
November
2 d x
The Felix Crossword, by Turnip Henry
Answers to 1156:
: Deser ts , E a r l o b e s , A L o n g T ime A g o , J a c o b , Talent, Intoner, O r a t o r , B a n d i c o o t ,
N e w s a g e n t , T icket , Inhabi t , Q u i c h e , Euler, A p h r o d i s i a c s , A d m i t t e d , Totters.
Down: D o o r j a m b , R h o m b i , S igne t , E l im ina te , L l a m a , Senator , A n c i e n t C h i n a , O v e r The
Hi l l s , Trotski , N e c k t i e , O n e - H a n d e d , T h e r m a l s , Tequ i l a , Bedsi t , Tenant , H i-Hat .
Across 3. Vehic le hits d o g s on
the f loor. (7)
8. M a r r i e d barber. (6)
9. G i r l ' s songs , pe rhaps .
(6)
10 . P l ay ing S e g a f o r
years. (4)
1 1. O l d E t o n i a n mixes
Latin. Joy! (7)
14. C o p i e s monkeys . (4)
15 . W a l k to the stars. (4)
1 7. Fall ill in f a n g . N o t
d o i n g very we l l . (7)
1 9 . Sounds like hitting a
symbo l . (4)
2 1 . W a l k t h r o u g h b a n d .
(5)
2 2 . O n l y a butcher has
the s t omach for it. (5)
2 3 . A n i m a l sounds false.
(4)
2 4 . S igna l to a swel l . (5)
2 5 . Cutt ings are miss ing
f rom step backwa rds .
(5)
2 7 . D i s a g r e e a b o u t
a g u e ? Right. (5)
2 8 . Ineffectual c lothes. (4)
3 0 . Bits of trouser for the
books . (4-3)
3 1 . Spir itual bear. (4)
3 3 . Race a r o u n d a field
(4)
3 5 . Sellers of birds? (7)
3 8 . C o m p a i n to the f ish.
(4)
3 9 . Process summary . (6)
4 0 . Bui ld iota up. Par-
ad ise . (6)
41 . C a l l i n g forth bit of
evo lv ing m o n a r c h . (7)
And the winner is.
S HtlWOSK
Back in Issue 1 1 5 4 Felix g a v e you
the c h a n c e to w in a p a i r o f Euro-
l ines o n e m o n t h c o a c h p a s s e s
a r o u n d E u r o p e . A mass i ve n u m b e r
of p e o p l e en te red the contes t , a n d ,
f ina l l y , the w i n n e r s c a n be
a n n o u n c e d .
But first, the answers . S o m e -
w h a t unsu rp r i s i ng l y , every s i n g l e
entry that I s a w go t the answers
right (which may have h a d s o m e -
thing to d o with the fac t that they
were c o n t a i n e d in the a c c o m p a n y -
ing b lu rb - see , y o u r t e a che r s w e r e
r ight, r e a d i n g is impor tan t ) . A n y -
how, just in c a s e y o u ' r e still interest-
e d , I was l o o k i n g f o r the f o l l o w i n g
r e sponses :
• T h e c a p i t a l o f H u n g a r y is
Budapes t .
• A Euro l ines pass starts at a n
u n b e l i e v a b l y c h e a p £ 1 5 9 if
you ' r e u n d e r 2 6 .
• G o t h e n b e r g is s i tuated in Swe-
d e n
S o , n o w that 's out of the way,
d o w n to the impor t an t stuff - the
winners ident i t ies . W e l l , af ter a p p l y -
ing the w o n d r o u s invent ion that is
the of f i c ia l Felix w inne romete r™ , I
w a s s tunned t o d i s c o v e r that the
w i n n e r wasn ' t s o m e o n e f r o m the
of f i ce , a n d was in fact a pa i r of
Down 1. Sp ice Sp ice . (6)
2. C h o c o l a t e g o d . (4)
3. Tasty speaker. (4)
4. O no! Point to glass. (4)
5. Stuart c a n keep the
rhythm. (4)
6. 1.3 yards by 4 metres.
(4)
7. Two m e n p lease V i c to-
ria. (6)
12 Sa i l r o u n d a n i ck-
n a m e . (5)
1 3. Silly person 1 d o con-
fuse in it. (5)
15 " B i r d - s e e d " , E d w a r d
sang . (7)
16 Vita l beans . (7)
17 Ar ranger has lillies or
roses, initially, in fist. (7)
18 G o Sou th a r o u n d
Beat le to be non-Mex-
icans . (7)
1 9 . Berry we mis taken ly
used to m a k e beer. (7)
2 0 . M i s t ake love in Al ista ir
for breath ing . (7)
2 6 . Used to suck warts up. (5)
2 7 . A g o d d e s s of art will
entertain. (5)
2 9 . A c h u r c h in R o m e
looks after o r p h a n . (6)
3 2 . R A G up a m d left
imper i a l because of a
plant? (6)
3 4 . Eastern study is like
the g a r d e n . (4)
3 5 . E m o t i o n f rom g o i n g
qu ick l y ; not south. (4)
3 6 . B e n d pervers ion . (4)
3 7 . Bullet fo r g a r d e n pest?
(4)
3 8 . C u t up pork. (4)
b o n a f ide Imper ia l C o l l e g e stu-
dents . A n d the i r n a m e s ? They were
(or i n d e e d are) :
Terrence Choi
&
Michelle Choi
C o n g r a t u l a t i o n s - p l e a s e c o m e to
the Felix o f f i ce (s i tuated in the por-
t a c a b i n s o u t s i d e o f the Phys ics
d e p a r t m e n t , h i d d e n b e h i n d the l i q -
u id n i t rogen tank) o r e m a i l the e d i -
tor [ f e l i x @ i c . a c . u k ] so that w e c a n
a r r a n g e fo r you to to rece ive you r
pr izes . Fo r m o r e c h a n c e s to w i n ,
see p a g e 2 2 .
5 s 3
Team Bo
Bo Goes to Brighton '99
At the c r a c k of d a w n the in t rep id
tw o , Pau l a n d M a r k , g o t ou t of b e d
a n d h e a d e d f o r the B o ' [short f o r
B o a n g e r e s , C i t y & G u i l d s C o l l e g e
U n i o n ' s m o t o r i s e d m a s c o t ]
g a r a g e . Last S u n d a y w a s the
b i g g e s t d a y of B o ' s yea r , t he
B r igh ton run .
A l o n g with five h u n d r e d o t h e r
ve te ran ca r s , B o ' h e a d e d to H y d e
Park a n d the s tar t ing l ine . Pau l
knew he h a d f o r g o t t e n s o m e t h i n g
until a s i lver c a r s u d d e n l y p u l l e d up
in f ront o f h i m . O u t j u m p e d P ro fes-
sor B r i s c o e , the D e a n of C & G . N o
w o n d e r B o ' w a s g o i n g so we l l -
w e ' d f o r g o t t e n the p a s s e n g e r .
E ight o ' c l o c k w a s B o ' s s ta r t ing
t ime a n d he set off f r o m the start
l ine d o i n g his o w n i m p r e s s i o n of
n ine t h r e e - l e g g e d ho r se s in a n
at tempt to c a t c h u p wi th C l e m , the
R S M m a s c o t . U n f o r t u n a t e l y in the
twenty-five years be tween the c o n -
s t ruc t ion of the two m a s c o t s , they
h a d learn t h o w to m a k e e n g i n e s -
so B o ' h a d n o c h a n c e .
I be l i e ve the D e a n w o u l d l ike
to say the journey w a s uneven t fu l .
W h a t he d i d say is he w a s
i m p r e s s e d with B o ' s r o a d h o l d i n g .
U n f o r t u n a t e l y Pau l m a d e ful l use of
his p i lot l ike r e a c t i o n s a n d very lit-
tle use of the b r a k e s . H e is yet to
u n d e r s t a n d that n inety-seven yea r
o l d ca r s a re not m e a n t to out
a c c e l e r a t e a n d o v e r t a k e m o d e r n
v eh i c l e s .
A f t e r a r e m a r k a b l y s m o o t h t r ip ,
B o ' a r r i v e d in B r i g h t o n to be g ree t -
ed by a B o o m a l a k a . This y ea r a l l
the m o t o r i z e d m a s c o t s m a d e it to
B r i gh ton a n d the R S M even j o i n e d
C & G f o r d inner . C o p i o u s q u a n t i -
ties of w i n e w e r e d r u n k , e s pe c i a l l y
by M i k e the D e r r i c k r ider. The s to-
ries of his h a n g o v e r wi l l be l e g -
endary .
T h a n k s s h o u l d be e x t e n d e d to
Paul the B o ' d r i ve r a n d M i k e the
De r r i c k r ider f o r a l ! the i r w o r k in
ge t t ing the v e h i c l e s ready , P ro fes-
sor B r i s coe f o r b e i n g w i l l i n g to
s p e n d the d a y f r e ez i n g in the b a c k
of B o ' a n d Stuart H a m i l t o n for
o r g a n i s i n g a f an t a s t i c d inner .
IMPERIAL'S NEW
SPORTS CENTRE
n
)
s
s
g
s
h
d
y
d
when : 12pm, thursday 18 november
where : union dining hall (on the
first floor of the union building)
contact tim trailor
[ dpcs@ic.ac.uk ] for details
U Jazz and Rock presents...
TEXKET
L T
ALONE
(and
In DBs on :
Thursday 18 th November
First band on stage @8pm
FREE!!!!!!
4 t x
Reserves show the rest how it's done Football - 5ths and 6ths
Sat 6th N o v 1 9 9 9
U C L VI 1
IC VI 8
This f ixture s a w the return of the
mighty sixths to the g r o u n d w h e r e
we t h r a s h e d the U C L w h i p p i n g
boys 7 - 1 in the c u p last s e a s o n .
The journey w a s a contes t in itself -
a b r e a k d o w n in c o m m u n i c a t i o n left
us w i thout a keeper . The m a t c h
started untidi ly, wi th the w i n d a n d
wet p i tch c a u s i n g p r o b l e m s fo r
both s ides . M a r k , o u r new m i d f i e l d -
er (and a g a m e s e d i t o r of this
e s t e e m e d paper , m igh t I add ) f e r o -
c ious ly wen t f o r the b o b . . . knees of
their p layers , s l i d ing in f r o m a l l
ang l e s a n d near l y a lways w i n n i n g
the b a l l ! A f te r p r o b i n g the i r bo x
severa l t imes , IC s c o r e d a lbe i t by
a n o w n g o a l f r o m a D a n M cross .
W e s c o r e d a g a i n s o o n a f t e rwards ,
a D a n W pena l ty f r o m a fou l o n
D a n M . O K , so p e r h a p s w e h a d
been lucky so f a r but o u r th i rd was
pure c l ass , D a n M p a s s e d to D a n
W w h o f l i c ke d it b a c k a n d the shot
hit the t o p corner . In the s e c o n d
half the D a n a n d D a n s h o w started
a g a i n but f a i l ed to b reak t h r o u g h .
I n s t e a d , A n i m e s h , w i th R iva l-
d o e s q u e b r i l l i a n c e r an f r o m
ha l fway (with the ba l l f o r o n c e ! ) ,
thrust t h r o u g h the ho le in their back
l ine a n d l o b b e d his shot ove r the
keepe r into the net. A n o t h e r o w n
g o a l put us 5 up a n d the g a m e lost
a l ! e d g e . W i th 2 0 m i n s to g o , J a m e s
d e c i d e d to start p l ay ing a n d s c o r e d
a hatr ick. Blatant ly of fs ide (their ref.
was awful) for his first, no . two
c a m e f r o m smar t p lay by M a t t o n
the left, w h o , a b n g with Rob a n d
Luis, w o r k e d hard al l g a m e even
t h o u g h out of pos i t i on . Before no.
3 , they pu l l ed o n e back . A l ong ba l l
f r o m the b a c k went o v e r the other-
wise exce l lent cent re b a c k pa i r ing
of the two A l ex ' s to first-rate s tand in
keepe r Leon . The s l ippery wet ba l l
fell f r o m his g love less h a n d s into the
path of their o n r u s h i n g striker w h o
gently s t roked it in . Fur ious at this
l apse , A l ex Jekyl l n' Hyde went in
sea r ch of a g o a l , s t e am ing f o rwa rd
l ike J o n a h L o m u but g e t t i n g
n o w h e r e be fo re J a m e s s e a l e d it
with his th i rd , a s im p l e n u t m e g a n d
the last k ick of the g a m e .
S c h o o l O f P h a r m a c y 1
IC V 3
After a m i d w e e k b r e a k f o r the
t e a m , with n o m a t c h o n W e d n e s -
day, it w a s b a c k to the se r i ou s
bus iness o f the l e a g u e o n S a t u r -
day.
W i t h a r e c o r d of 2 w i n s , 1 loss
so far, we n e e d e d to put t o g e t h e r
a run of v i c to r i e s to c l i m b the
t a b l e . S O P we re last y e a r ' s w h i p -
p i n g b o y s , l o s i n g a l l but 2 of the i r
g a m e s , s o w e f a n c i e d o u r
c h a n c e s o f b o o s t i n g tha t g o a l d i f-
f e r e n c e .
A f t e r t a k i n g 2 h o u r s by
m i n i b u s to t rave l f r o m S o u t h K e n
to Turkey Street , just by the M 2 5
in N o r t h L o n d o n , w e w e r e in n o
m o o d to s l ip u p , a n d s ta r ted the
g a m e br ight ly with sk i ppy r e tu rn-
ing to C e n t r e B a c k w h i l e So l w a s
away , g i v i n g " t i g e r " Rob f ree r e ign
at r ight b a c k . Th is s o o n p r o v e d to
be a g r e a t m o v e , with the 1 st g o a l
c o m i n g f r o m D i n o ' h e a d , the a g e -
ing beas t f e e d i n g off a g rea t c ross
f r o m Tiger , w h i c h left the i r k e e p e r
f l a p p i n g a n d h e l p l e s s . 1 -0 . IC
n o w c l i c k e d in to g e a r with g rea t
m i d f i e l d w o r k f r o m JP in par t i cu la r .
H is r e w a r d w a s a c h a n c e to p i c k
u p the b a l l o n r ight , d r i v e i n f i e l d ,
a n d let fly a f a n t a s t i c sho t w h i c h
s a i l e d o v e r the k e e p e r i n to the f a r
c o r n e r f o r a m a n - o f - t h e - m a t c h
w i n n i n g g o a l , a n d it w a s 2- 0 .
M o r e w a s t o c o m e , as D i n o ' s pe r-
s i s t ence o n the left l ed to a s h a r p
c ross to the c e n t r e , w h e r e " S p a c e -
m a n " Love l l w a i t e d to a p p l y a n
exper t f i n i sh f o r 3-0 .
W e w e r e n o w c r u i s i n g , a n d
t h o u g h t the g a m e w a s w o n by ha l f
t i m e . U n f o r t u n a t e l y w e t o o k o u r
f o o t off the p e d a l , a n d in the s e c -
o n d ha l f it w a s a l l S O P , w i th o n l y
g r e a t w o r k by B u z z Fos te r at left
b a c k , a l o n g wi th D i j , s k i p p y a n d
D a v e p r e v e n t i n g m o r e t h a n the
o n e S O P h e a d e r . S o , a d i s a p -
p o i n t i n g resul t in the e n d , as we
just n e v e r g o t s t a r t ed a f te r the
b r e a k . 3 p o i n t s , but s t a n d a r d s
n e e d to g o h i g h e r if p r o m o t i o n is
g o i n g to l o o k l ikely. Lucki ly , a
love l y w a r m 5 t h t e a m ba th a f te r
the g a m e h e l p e d k e e p sp i r i t s
h i g h . . .
Ultimate projectile is force to be reckoned with Ultimate Frisbee
Fr iendly Fire T o u r n a m e n t
W e d n e s d a y 3 r d N o v e m b e r s a w the
first g a m e s of the new yea r fo r the
D i s c D o c t o r s (the Imper i a l C o l l e g e
U l t ima te Fr isbee team) in the f o r m
of a fr iend!y fire t o u r n a m e n t at
Regen ts Park . K i n g s a n d U C L
s t e p p e d up to play, a n d as there
were so m a n y of us , w e split into
two t e a m s - a D a r k s i d e , a n d a
Lights ide.
The D a r k s i d e
The D a r k s i d e p l a ye d K ings first,
w h o s e recent a d d i t i o n w a s a n ex
D i s c d o c t o r s p l aye r (and ISE s tu-
dent) . W e o p e n e d with a g o r g e o u s
cut f r o m M a r t i n into the o p p o s i -
t i o n s ' e n d z o n e . U n f o r t u n a t e l y
K i n g s r e p l i e d w i th t w o c h e e k y
points . The D a r k s i d e felt they h a d
had the i r c h a n c e a n d p r o m p t l y t o o k
three points o n the trot. Jez k indly
m a d e a n a p p e a r a n c e , a n d with
b rushes f i rmly f ixed in ou r m i n d s ,
w e f i n i s h e d w h i t e w a s h i n g K i n g s ,
t a k i n g t h e m a p a r t with 1-2 c o m -
b o s f r o m " W a t e r b o y " a n d W o r s h i p
M e . W e f ina l l y bea t t h e m 1 3-6.
U C L we re up next. " J a b b a the
Tat " kept up his ex t reme ly s o l i d
a n d t ight d e f e n c e , with " T h e Ital-
i an S t a l l i o n " , a l t h o u g h new w a s
m a k i n g s o m e very tasty cuts f r o m
the s tack a n d w a s r e w a r d e d with
s o m e n i ce passes to h i m . The
h a m m e r i n g of U C L w a s shor t a n d
swee t , a n d a l t h o u g h we d i d n ' t
b a g e l t h e m , we still t r o u n c e d t h e m
1 3 - 4 .
F ina l ly , b e f o r e it go t t o o d a r k
to p lay , we p l a y e d the L igh t s ide .
A l t h o u g h not rea l l y a m a t c h , we
still b e a t t h e m 6 - 2 , a n d W o r s h i p
M e a n d M a r t i n d e m o n s t r a t e d that
p r a c t i c e m a k e s per fec t , b e c a u s e
o n the i r 5 0 t h a t t e m p t , they f i na l l y
m a n a g e d to h u c k it into the e n d
z o n e fo r a po in t .
The L igh ts ide
O u r first m a t c h of the d a y w a s
a g a i n s t U C L . W i t h i n the first ha l f
h o u r we we re up 5 - 0 . The a r r i v a !
of C a t c h s tar ted o u r p l u m m e t to
the dep ths o f despa i r . W i t h i n 15
minu tes we we re level at 7 a l l , h o w
c o u l d we be d o i n g so b a d l y ? A f t e r
a n h o u r the g a m e w a s c a p p e d at
1 1 po in t s , with the sco re 10-9 to
U C L . A l l we n e e d e d was 2 s t ra ight
po in t s to sea l v ictory. The first
c a m e f r o m a q u i c k r e s p o n s e to o u r
i m p e n d i n g d o o m . But t h e i r
r e s p o n s e was just t o o g o o d a n d
they s to le the g a m e f r o m us. 1 1 -
10 to U C L .
The s e c o n d m a t c h w a s a g a i n s t
K i n g s . W e d idn ' t d i s a p p o i n t o u r
a d o r i n g f ans wi th s o m e s t o r m i n g
p lay a n d s o l i d d e f e n c e . They d idn ' t
s t and a c h a n c e , p e r h a p s a little
u n f a i r but w e still m a n a g e d a w in
wi th the f i na l s c o r e 1 2 - 7 to the
L igh t s ide .
O u r f i na l a n d m o s t c h a l l e n g -
ing m a t c h w a s a g a i n s t ou r se l v e s
(?). O K a g a i n s t the D a r k s i d e . W i t h
As t ro- fuck h a v i n g g o n e to w o r k w e
w e r e f o r c e d to pay i r o n - m a n (no
subs) . W e star ted off w e l l , but r e a l -
ly c o u l d n ' t be a r s e d . The f ina l
s t raw c a m e w h e n B a b y s u b b e d off
in ju red a n d in the true spir i t o f the
g a m e they g a v e us the i r W a t e r b o y
as a r e p l a c e m e n t . W i t h that we
qui t with the s c o r e at 6 - 2 to the
D a r k s i d e .
A spec i a l m e n t i o n has to g o out
to C o n s t a n t Pressure w h o c o u r a -
g e o u s l y m a n a g e d 5 minutes o f a
m a t c h , then a d o p t e d his pos i t i on of
the m o n t h - the s ide l i ne .
5 t 5
C J ^ g C^ggj m $ \ \ n n y ' 5_
Football ICSM Football
(continued from back page)
a l i gh tn ing start w i th a ha t tr ick
with in the first twenty m inu tes . A l l
three g o a l s i l lus t ra ted his g o a l
s co r i ng p rowess but the p ick of the
b u n c h w a s the th i rd set up by a n
unself ish pass off the g o a l post by
G e o g r a p h y teacher .
The t e a m the re laxed expec t ing
a w a l k o v e r but were b r o k e n up by
a t ex tbook short c o r n e r by the
o p p o s i t i o n . F r o m the restart IC
were b a c k into a c t i o n a n d a t tack-
ing f o r m as the G e o g r a p h y t e a c h e r
got the just deserts f o r his p h e n o m -
e n a l m id f i e l d v i s i on a n d i nd i v i dua l
skill with a hat trick fo reve r l o g g e d
in a l l o u r m inds . Af ter a t ex tbook
short c o r n e r str ike, o u r m a i n m a n
d r i b b l e d past 5 m e n a n d struck the
ba l l f irmly past the k e e p e r into the
left corner . The c r o w d wen t w i l d
a n d gir ls s tar ted t h r o w i n g the i r
kn ickers o n the f i e l d , as G e o g r a -
phy t e a c h e r c a m e b a c k to strike his
th i rd . G i l e s t ame l y s c o r e d a sev-
enth , roo f ing the ba l l into the net.
A sensa t i ona l t e a m p e r f o r m -
a n c e w o r t h y of the s c o r e l i n e
a g a i n s t a f i r ed a n d o r g a n i s e d
t e a m .
IC I 1
Roya l H o l l o w a y I 0
A n o t h e r day , a n o t h e r g a m e a n d
a n o t h e r v i c to ry f o r the m igh t y
f irsts. T h e f ine f o r m of recen t
weeks c o n t i n u e d s t ra ight f r o m the
kick off. Reso lu te d e f e n d i n g , f ine
p a s s i n g in the m id f i e l d a n d v a r i e d
m o v e m e n t f r o m . the f o r w a r d s
c o m b i n e d to l eave the boys f r o m
H o l l o w a y in a d a z e . Early in the
s e c o n d half , wi th the w i n d in o u r
sa i l s , F o u l s t o n e w h i p p e d in a c o r -
ner that f o u n d the b o o t o f R ich .
T h e resu l t ing sho t c u r l e d past the
b e m u s e d H o l l o w a y k e e p e r into
the roo f o f the net. The t e a m
m a i n t a i n e d its i m p e n e t r a b l e
integr i ty unt i l the f ina l wh i s t l e ,
h o l d i n g ou t f o r a f ine victory.
Th is result l eaves the firsts in a
s t r o n g p o s i t i o n in the B U S A
l e a g u e : B r ing o n the rest of the
coun t r y !
C a r r i e d o v e r f r o m Sa tu rday
3 0 / 1 0 / 9 9 (sorry fo r the delay )
R U M S 1
I C S M I 3
I C S M c o n t i n u e d t h e i r w i n n i n g
s t reak by b e a t i n g R U M S at Turkey
Street . F o r m e d as a resul t o f the
m e r g e r b e t w e e n Roya l Free a n d
U C H , R U M S h a d the c a p a b i l i t y t o
p r o v i d e t r icky o p p o s i t i o n . H o w e v -
er, I C S M h a d the u p p e r h a n d in
the first ha l f a n d t o o k the l e a d
a f te r s o m e c l e v e r w i n g p l a y resu l t-
e d in J o n a t h a n K e n n e d y pu t t i ng in
a n e xce l l e n t c ross f o r K a s h A k h t a r
to h e a d h o m e . T h e l e a d w a s d o u -
b l e d 1 0 m i n u t e s la ter w h e n J e r e -
my W e l c h p o u n c e d o n a l o o s e
b a l l a f te r a c o r n e r a n d t h u n d e r e d
h o m e f r o m c l o s e r a n g e .
T h e g a m e b e c a m e a lot m o r e
p h y s i c a l in the s e c o n d ha l f w i th
lots of late t a c k l e s f l y ing in f r o m
a l l o v e r the p l a c e . J ez W e l c h l ed
the w a y by f l y i n g in w h e r e a n g e l s
f e a r to t r e a d , a n d w a s a b l y f o l -
l o w e d by the rest o f his t e a m -
m a t e s w h o s h o w e d the p a s s i o n
a n d t e a m w o r k tha t has b e e n a
d e f i n i n g f e a t u r e o f the s e a s o n so
far.
T h e I C S M d e f e n c e f a r e d we l l
a g a i n s t a p o t e n t a t t a ck a n d E a m -
m o n R a b i e in p a r t i c u l a r h e l p e d
n e u t e r the R U M S s t r i ke rs . The
I C S M t e a m lost its w a y s o m e w h a t
a s the g a m e d e g e n e r a t e d in to a
p h y s i c a l ba t t l e , but t hen w r a p p e d
the g a m e up wi th 2 0 m i n u t e s left
a s K a s h A k h t a r p o u n c e d o n a
f u m b l e by the R U M S k e e p e r a n d
b a c k h e e l e d the b a l l b e y o n d the
d e s p a i r i n g d e f e n d e r s i n to the net .
R U M S s c o r e d a so l i t a r y g o a l
n e a r the e n d a f te r a g o a l m o u t h
s c r a m b l e , but by t h e n I C S M h a d
the g a m e w e l ! a n d truly in the
b a g .
IN BRIEF
Ladies Rugby
Bart 's 0
IC V i rg ins w a l k o v e r
B e c a u s e of o u r s u p e r i o r ski l ls
A n d na tura l abi l i ty, this w e e k ' s
Rugby m a t c h was the eas ies t yet.
Tries we re
S c o r e d left, r ight a n d cen t r e ,
W i t h every p l aye r
In the s q u a d s c o r i n g
M u l t i p l e points a n d n o in jur ies .
Pass ing ski l ls great ly i m p r o v e d ,
E n a b l i n g a f ine p e r f o r m a n c e .
D r o p p e d ba l l s we re a th ing
O f the past - al l that t r a i n ing hey!
Unfor tunate l y , we c o u l d n ' t stay ou t
The re a l l day. Lots o f love Bar t ' s .
W e k i c k e d y o u r butts!! I
s
y
r
t
e
Netball
G K T 2 5
IC I 2 4
W e a r r i ved at the cour t just as the
r a i n s t a r t e d . T h e s c e n e w a s
w i n ds w e p t , de so l a t e a n d the G A
w a s at least 8 foo t ta l l . G r e a t . This
m e a n t that Rache l h a d n o c h a n c e
of ge t t ing r e b o u n d s a n d there fore
A l e x h a d the nove l task of m a r k i n g
bo th the G S a n d the G A in the c i r-
c le . We l l d o n e A l e x . At ha l f t ime
the sco res we re evens . But then the
curse of the th i rd qua r t e r struck
a g a i n a n d we fel l b e h i n d 1 5 - 2 2
with 15 minutes to g o . S o m e f a b -
u lous p lay f r o m the gir ls in the
centre (Dorothy , Becky a n d Paula)
a n d s o m e hot s h o o t i n g f r o m those
starlets R e b e k a h a n d S a r a h s a w us
pul l it b a c k . Nex t w e e k w e ' r e
t r e k k i n g o u t to W y e . . . f i nge r s
c r o s s e d .
Sports p layers b e w a r e !
Fel ix 's c r a c k t e a m of sports
reporters wil l be at H a r l i n g t o n
o n W e d n e s d a y - so w e a r y o u r
best kit!
Tennis
I O s tenn is s e a s o n b e g a n wi th a
d i s a p p o i n t i n g s tar t . D e s p i t e
M a g i c H a n i a n d C a p t a i n J u l i e n
d i s p l a y i n g g r e a t sk i l l s in t h e i r
impress i ve v i c t o r i e s , O l i v i e r a n d
A n t o n i s we re severe ly c r u s h e d by
Roya l H o l l o w a y ' s " b i z a r r e " t a l -
en ts . The s c o r e w a s a l l e v e n
a g a i n a f t e r the d o u b l e s bu t the set
lost in o n e of the d o u b l e s p r o v e d
to be f a t a l .
F ina l S co r e : IC 3-3 R H U L but
R H U L w o n 7-6 in sets.
M a t c h 2 of IC ' s c a m p a i g n
qu i ck l y t u rned into a n i g h t m a r e f o r
U C H . F i e ld ing the s a m e t e a m that
h a d lost 6-0 last year, U C H were
o n c e m o r e w h i t e w a s h e d . P l a yboy
C h r i s a n d o u r G e r m a n p r o d i g i e s
J an a n d C h r i s t o p h e a c h t h r a s h e d
the i r o p p o n e n t s , d r o p p i n g o n l y
o n e g a m e e a c h . M e d i c J a s o n
d e c i d e d to d o the s a m e on l y after
h a v i ng lost the first set. In d o u b l e s ,
o u r G e r m a n d u o c r u s h e d the i r
o p p o n e n t s wh i l e Stuart a n d Remy
f in i shed the job with a c l e a n 6-0 ,
6-0.
F ina l S c o r e : IC 6-0 U C H
Ladies Football
IC I 5
Q M W I 1
O u r s t r o n g 10 p l a y e r t e a m h e l d
the g a m e w e l l w i th a n e xce l l e n t
s tar t a n d s h o w e d d o m i n a t i o n
t h r o u g h o u t the m a t c h .
H e l g a v o n C r i c k , H e d g e ,
H a r d K a u r a n d F r e n c h i e we re
d a z z l i n g in d e f e n c e a n d m i d f i e l d -
ers ' D u m b a n d D u m b e r ' , G i r l -
f r i e n d a n d T h e M a y o r s h o w e d
c o n t i n u o u s s k i l l . It d i d n ' t t a ke
m u c h f o r the t a l e n t e d C l a r k Kent
to b e a t t h e ( l a r g e r t h a n l i fe)
Q M W d e f e n d e r s . H e r 2 a d d e d to
T h e M a y o r s first g o a l of the s e a -
s o n m e a n t w e w e r e 3 nil up at
ha l f t i m e . C l a r k ' s f i n a l g o a l w a s
shor t l y f o l l o w e d by a l u c k y sho t
f r o m the o p p o s i t i o n but J azzy Jeff
b r o u g h t the s c o r e t o 5 - 1 , f i na l l y
s t r i k ing o n t a r g e t . G o a l i e G ' n ' T
h e l d he r g r o u n d we l l w i th h e r
e x c e l l e n t d i ves s a v i n g the day.
It w a s a tres m a g n i f i q u e p e r -
f o r m a n c e a l l r o u n d a n d T h e
S h a d y L a d i e s w a l k e d a w a y wi th
style.
t x
SPORT Imperial rack up the points
Rugby
Sponsored by ^ALTRAN
IC I 3 0 t a k i n g in t o o m a n y sa l ty sub- that is g o o d a b o u t the g a m e of
Univers i ty of Essex 0 s tances . IC 2 n d X V still p rove to be rugby. Right f r o m the start the IC
a f o r ce to be r e c k o n e d wi th , run- p a c k we re r a m p a n t , u n t a m e d a n d
A n o t h e r day , a n o t h e r set of v i c t ims . n ing s o m e f l o w i n g p lay just a f ter w i l d ! R U M S c lear l y h a d n o a n s w e r
Af ter two hours o n the c o a c h , the kick off that even the A l l -b l a cks to the "w i t chc ra f t- l i ke " ski l ls of IC.
boys were s l o w star t ing a n d the for- w o u l d have b e e n p r o u d of, be fore The first try c a m e f r o m a n insp i ra-
wa rds never real ly go t it t o g e t h e r a l l o u r first try was put d o w n in the cor- t i ona l i n te r cep t ion f r o m the IC cap-
g a m e . The first try c a m e after sus- ner. O n c e first b l o o d h a d been t a i n , D a v e " B o y o " Wh i t e with s o m e
t a ined pressure with Ricky M a r t i n d r a w n , the f l o o d gates o p e n e d a n d sexy suppo r t p lay f r o m S a m Ba le
d i v ing in at the corner . T h e n G a y r o there w a s no c h a n c e of s t o p p i n g a n d A k i r a . M a n of the m a t c h
s c o r e d the first of two tr ies. Fur ther the i n d o m i t a b l e IC w a r m a c h i n e , D e v o n r a m p a g e d o v e r f r o m the
scores f r o m W o n d e r b o y W i l l i s a n d with the s co re at half t ime b e i n g fa r resu l t ing s c r u m . The f l o o d g a t e s
G a y r o a g a i n c o m p l e t e d a d i s ap- t o o l a rge to coun t . S e c o n d half then o p e n e d a n d IC p u l l e d away,
po in t i ng but w o r k m a n l i k e victory. started in m u c h the s a m e va in with Ha l f t ime c a m e u p o n us unexpect-
They were a b u n c h Essex w i d e b o y s IC c o n t i n u i n g the i r merc i l ess r o m p ed ly d u e to the sho r t ened m a t c h
but we stole the keys to the i r Escorts to victory. Tries c a m e f r o m A l e s s a n - l ength .
a n d s h a g g e d the i r w o m e n . N i c e d r o , R i ch , F rank , J a n , M a t t a n d a T h r o u g h o u t the s e c o n d half the
o n e . c o u p l e e a c h f r o m N i c k , Texz a n d p a c k were d o m i n a n t with s o m e
Huy. Next t ime we are a g a i n o n o u r g o o d l ineout play by J a m e s I re land .
Univers i ty o f Essex 0 t rave ls , this t ime to ra id N o r w i c h ' s Little o p p o s i t i o n was o f f e red by the
IC II 6 3 U E A wi th m o r e tr ies to fo l l ow . f l o u n d e r i n g R U M S m id f i e l d a n d the
W a t c h this s p a c e . tries were s c o r i n g themse l ves . A
Af ter a two h o u r c o a c h journey, we total of e l even in a l l c o m i n g f r o m
ar r i ved in s o m e g o d - f o r s a k e n hel l IC III 6 9 D e v o n ( 3 ) , O l l i e ( 2 ) , P au l ( 2 ) ,
ho le in the dep ths of Essex. IC t o o k R U M S III 0 J a m e s ( l ) , A k i r a ( l ) , D a v e ( l ) , Stu-
to the f i e ld wi th s o m e n o t a b l e a r t ( l ) . J a m e s W e l c h s lot ted o v e r 7
absen tees i n c l u d i n g G l T i m , w h o O n the 10 th of N o v e m b e r , Ha r l i ng- con v e r s i on s in w indy c o n d i t i o n s ,
had a d o d g y s t o m a c h d u e to par- ton w i tnessed a c e l e b r a t i o n of a l l N i c e !
Hockey: Firsts draw, seconds win Hockey
IC I 1 Af ter a n insp i r a t i ona l half t ime So there we g o , a 1 -1 draw. But
G K T 1 ta lk , the t e a m d e c i d e d to p lay ! the mens 1 sx XI a re still u n b e a t e n
S o m e g o o d a t t a c k i n g p l a y by a n d g o i n g s t rong in B U S A . Role o n
Turn ing up a n h o u r a n d a half J a m b o , H e r p e s , P ink G a s h a n d U C L a n d the m e d i c s ,
be fo re the g a m e w e h a d plenty of 11 + s a w IC un lucky not to take the
t ime to ta lk a b o u t t e a m plays a n d l ead at the start o f the 2 n d half. IC II 7
tact ics . How ev e r , a f ter a f ew min- Th is b a d luck c o n t r i v e d with a R H C 3
utes w e h a d re tu rned to the v i l l age short ie b l o w n as the ba l l went into
style h o c k e y seen in the first g a m e the b a c k of the net. The s e c o n d s built o n recent f o r m
of the s e a s o n . But lucki ly, af ter a The i r k e e p e r ' s g o o d f o rm c o n - wi th a c o n v i n c i n g w i n w h i c h
G . M i n g e r o w n g o a l w e saw s o m e t i nued as he s a v e d Pink G a s h ' s ensures a t o p spot f in ish in the i r
c h a m p a g n e , 1 1 + g i v i ng us the de f l e c t i on with his a rmp i t a n d 2 B U S A meri t l e a g u e with a g a m e to
e q u a l i s e r cour tesy of J a m b o just m i n u t e s of sho t s t o p p i n g e v e n s p a r e . B e r m u d a t r i ang le p r o v i d e d
be fore half t ime . t h o u g h he d idn ' t rea l i se it. (continued p35 col. 1)
S C O R E B O A R D
B A D M I N T O N
IC 1 st 5 - 2 U C L 1st
F E N C I N G
IC M e n 2 4 - 3 K ings
IC W o m e n 7 - 1 1 K ings
F O O T B A L L (Mens)
IC 1st XI 1 - 0 R H U L 1st XI
IC 2 n d XI 4 - 2 R H U L 2 n d XI
IC 3 r d XI 4 - 0 Barts
IC 4 th XI w / o R U M S
IC 5 th XI 3 - 1 S o P
IC 6th XI 8 - 1 U C L 6th XI
I C S M 1 st 3 - 1 R U M S 1 st
F O O T B A L L (Womens )
IC XI 5 - 1 Q M W XI
H O C K E Y (Mens)
IC 1st XI 1 - 1 G K T 1st XI
IC 2 n d XI 7 - 3 R H U L 2 n d XI
IC 3 r d XI w / o Bar ts
N E T B A L L
I C l s t X I 2 4 - 2 5 G K T
R U G B Y (Mens)
IC 1 st XI 3 2 - 0 Essex 1 st XI
IC 2 n d XI 6 3 - 0 Essex 2 n d XI
IC 3 r d XI 6 9 - 0 Essex 3 r d XI
R U G B Y (Womens )
IC X V w/o Barts XV
V O L L E Y B A L L
IC M e n
IC W o m e n 3
K C L
0 K C L
T E N N I S
IC M e n 6 - 0 U C H
IC W o m e n 4 - 2 U C L