e15�������� 1999 : ���e 1157

Guilds Union forced to cancel again ANDREW OFORI

The innovat ion of the City a n d G u i l d s

U n i o n is yet to impress its students,

forc ing them to sca le d o w n their lat-

est venture.

C & G U intended to take a bus

load of students to Br ighton o n S u n -

day 7 N o v e m b e r in support of Bo 1

(the Gu i ld ' s mascot) w h o was tak ing

part in the veteran c a r run. The

ant ique ca r successfully c o m p l e t e d

the journey in 7hours . Unfortunately

with only 12 peop l e show ing any

interest in the 7 2 poss ib le p laces ,

C & G U was unab le to justify the cost

of the c o a c h .

Despi te the wi thdrawal of the bus

trip the G u i l d s had in tended to take a

specia l guest supporter to Br ighton

for the day - the U L U President. They

hatched a plot to k i d n a p a n d drive

A few Guildsmen still made it to Brighton Photo: Archive

him to the ca r run in their G u i l d s m o -

bile 1. It was dec i ded to g o a h e a d if it

c o u l d be d o n e legally. They fo rmed

an a l l i ance With Chr i s C a m p b e l l , the

London Student Editor, and arr ived at

M r Butt's house on Sunday m o r n i n g ,

only to learn they had been set up. M r

C a m p b e l l refused to let them through

the perimeter fenc ing a n d then stood

by as M r Butt a p p e a r e d f rom beh ind

a wal l and shot at them with a Super-

soaker.

This latest f lop c o m e s s o o n after

the Star Wars party where only 3 5 out

of a possible 1 0 0 tickets were so ld

resulting in a loss of £236. C & G U

Pres ident D i n e s h G a n e s a r a j a h

exp la ined his intention was to try and

keep the students entertained dur ing

the winter te rm, v iewing this as a

weakness of G u i l d s in previous years.

M r G a n e s a r a j a h took the view

that risks needed to be taken in order

to f ind app rop r i a t e enterta inment,

say ing "The exper imenta l nature of

the previous events a lways meant they

held the possibil ity of be ing u n p o p u -

lar to the masses , hence the min ima l

expenditure. "

H e hopes that the comb ina t i on of

a strong reputat ion a n d creative p ro-

d u c t i o n wil l m a k e the u p c o m i n g

C & G Fresher's D inne r a success.

The event is to be held in Sher-

field on Friday 1 9 N o v e m b e r at 7 p m .

Tickets are ava i l ab le at Waterstones

a n d the C C S s h o p cost ing £15 for

Freshers a n d £1 7 for other students.

Newton sets out plan for an NUS free future for all SUNIL RAO

Imper ia l C o l l e g e U n i o n is to host a

c o n f e r e n c e for i n d e p e n d e n t student

un ions a n d those w h o a re c o n s i d e r -

ing d isaf f i l i a t ing f r o m the N a t i o n a l

U n i o n of Students , with the a i m of

setting up a buy ing c o n s o r t i u m . This

w o u l d be a n a l t e rna t i ve to the

N a t i o n a l U n i o n of Students Serv ices

L imited (NUSSL ) , the N U S p u r c h a s -

ing g r o u p .

Cur ren t l y , N U S S L p r o v i d e s a

p la t fo rm to buy b e e r a n d other

g o o d s that student un i ons requ i re at

a bu lk d i s coun t . The sheer size of

this student marke t has resulted in

N U S S L r e a c h i n g the m a x i m u m level

of d i s c o u n t i n g that most suppl iers

c a n p rov ide . Howeve r , a student

u n i o n c a n n o t be a part of N U S S L

wi thout p a y i n g a la rge subscr ip t ion -

if I C U were to jo in , it w o u l d m e a n

p a y i n g a r o u n d thirty t h o u s a n d

p o u n d s annua l l y .

N U S S L is inextr icably mi red in

the pol i t ics o f the N U S , a n d it is

im pos s i b l e to leave the N U S without

a l so l eav ing N U S S L [as desc r i bed in

T h e m a n d N U S in Felix 1 1 5 5 ] .

M a n y student un ions that d i s a g r e e

with the pol i t i ca l s tance of the N U S

are r e m a i n i n g with it b e c a u s e of

N U S S L . Tasha N e w t o n , I C U Pres i-

dent , be l ieves that the rate of d isa f-

f i l i a t ion wil l rise d r a m a t i c a l l y as

s o o n as a l o ca l a l ternat ive that is

d e m o n s t r a b l y as g o o d is o f f e red .

I C U buys f r om a r ange of s u p -

pl iers i n c l u d i n g N o r t h e r n Serv ices

(annua l fee £25) , a c o n s o r t i u m set

up to serve the Scott ish Univers i t ies ,

a n d T U C O , the C o l l e g e p u r c h a s i n g

g r o u p .

The c o n f e r e n c e , to be he ld on 4

D e c e m b e r , wil l present a r a n g e of

op t i ons to the u n i o n s , i n c l u d i n g set-

t ing up a "Southern Serv ices" g r o u p ,

o r e x p a n d i n g T U C O . Both w o u l d

of fer c o n s i d e r a b l e buy ing p o w e r for

m e m b e r s a n d be a v i ab l e a l t e rna-

tive to N U S S L . They w o u l d a l so

a l l o w I C U acces s to grea te r d i s-

counts a n d there fore better va lue

g o o d s .

W h e n c o n t a c t e d , Tasha N e w t o n

c o m m e n t e d , "This is p o t e n t i a l l y

s o m e t h i n g real ly • exc i t ing , but my

priority wil l a lways be gett ing the

best dea l s for IC students" .

2 s x

Advisor Mart in Thomson pro-

vides some much needed quid-

We address 1 one of the major

issues of the day in the way that

only Felix can.

n Once again it's C & G Union's

and why they exist. �� ����le iephene; c o n ' r o u s a n d polit ics

seem to he the 1 • of the day.

The pos tbag ' S ' b a c k up to it's no r-

m a l

I wo ma jo r films - Fight C l u b a n d

Sixth Sense - receive ihe off icio!

Felix ma\ of quality.

, • . || r, • l l , i i "I n

l lers for

• intent.

Turnip Henry, k ing lh= a l t e rna te

i, »e I! (:•;:: i 1 � 11 n

Team Bo report or a v e y luccessfu i

(rip ft: Bj II

Sport

We win everything again

L- ii i ' i :ng to get repsBtive;,

Dawn of the Virtual University?

A N D R E W OFOR I

A n e w b r e e d of v i r tua l un ivers i t ies

is set to c h a n g e the f a c e of fur ther

e d u c a t i o n , l e a v i n g t r a d i t i o n a l u n i -

vers i t ies "wel l a n d truly s tu f fed"

a c c o r d i n g to 'Un ive rs i t i es in the

Future 1 .

In his b o o k , M i c h a e l T h o m e ,

V i c e - P r i n c i p a l of N a p i e r Univers i ty ,

d i s c u s s e d the v u l n e r a b i l i t y o f

Bri t ish un ive rs i t i es . V i r t ua l u n i v e r s i -

t ies w i l l o f f e r s tuden t s t a i l o r e d

l e a r n i n g w h e r e a n d w h e n it is

r e q u i r e d , j e o p a r d i s i n g the r e p u t a -

t ion of Br i ta in 's Un i ve r s i t i e s .

"The i m a g e of the i s o l a t e d

c o m p u t e r buff is n o l o n g e r r ea l i s -

t ic" c o m m e n t e d the ch i e f execu t i ve

of the Sco t t i sh H i g h e r E d u c a t i o n

F u n d i n g C o u n c i l , P ro f esso r J o h n

Sizer.

O n e v i ew of the v i r tua l un i ve r-

sity d e p i c t e d l a rge s c a l e inst i tutes

l i n k e d to a g l o b a l i n f o r m a t i o n

b a s e . E d u c a t i o n a l inst i tutes wi l l

d e v e l o p a r o u n d d i g i t a l c o n n e c -

t ions a n d a d e m a n d , r e n d e r i n g

ex is t ing un ivers i t ies use l ess . Sixth

f o r m c o l l e g e s a r e p r e d i c t e d to

t ake the i r p l a c e .

E l e c t r on i c lec tures ( s imi la r to

t h o s e current ly u n d e r w a y in the

M e d S c h o o l ) wi l l put a n e n d to the

f a c e to f a c e sess ions a n d tu to r i a l s

wi l l be a c o m b i n a t i o n of v i d e o -

c o n f e r e n c i n g a n d e - m a i l s .

C o u r s e w o r k wi l l be c a r r i e d ou t

o n l i n e .

A n u m b e r of U S un ivers i t i es

ha ve a l r e a d y t a k e n the first s teps

t o w a r d s this m e t h o d of t e a c h i n g ,

W e s t e r Un ivers i ty has 15 0 0 0 s t u -

dents at 6 4 l o c a t i o n s a n d the

S o u t h e r n R e g i o n a l E l e c t r o n i c

C a m p u s ( S im i l a r to the O p e n U n i -

versity) runs its c o u r s e s in 15

sta tes , 1 0 0 of t h e m c o n d u c t e d v i a

the in ternet a n d t e l e v i s i o n .

W a l l Street h a s s h o w n a n inter-

est in the c o n c e p t o f the v i r tua l

univers i ty , but its c o m m e r c i a l v i a -

bil ity is p resen t l y l im i t ed by r e g u l a -

t i ons . Sir A l e c B r o e r s , the V i c e

C h a n c e l l o r at C a m b r i d g e s a i d

"un less the i r g o v e r n m e n t a l l o w s

t h e m [universi t ies] to o p e r a t e as

p u b l i c l y t r a d e d c o r p o r a t i o n s , the i r

g r o w t h wi l l be l im i t ed by l a c k of

c a p i t a l a n d . . . by the i r inab i l i t y to

g e n e r a t e m a x i m u m p e r f o r m a n c e

by p r o v i d i n g t h e m wi th the o p p o r -

tunity to b u i l d p e r s o n a l w e a l t h

t h r o u g h s tock o p t i o n s " . T h e f o r m e r

p r i n c i p a l o f S t r a thc l yde Univers i ty ,

S i r G r a h a m H i l l s w a s a m o n g those

u n c o n v i n c e d by this n e w e r a , a s k -

ing " W h a t w o u l d w e d o wi th a l l the

p r o f e s s o r s ? "

In Brief S U M M E R BALL CHAIR

FINALLY ELECTED

Last T u e s d a y ' s m e e t i n g of I m p e r i -

a l C o l l e g e U n i o n C o u n c i l s a w the

e l e c t i o n p r o c e s s f o r this y e a r ' s

I C U S u m m e r Ba l l C h a i r r e a c h a

s u c c e s s f u l c o n c l u s i o n . A f t e r a

st r ing of n o - s h o w s a n d f a i l u r e s to

f i n d any w i l l i n g c a n d i d a t e s , two

U n i o n m e m b e r s e v e n t u a l l y put

the i r n a m e s f o r w a r d , w i th A n d y

H e e p s the r u n - a w ay w inner . M r

H e e p s w a s I C U Pres iden t in the

1 9 9 7 - 9 8 a c a d e m i c year , a n d d u r -

i n g that t ime he o v e r s a w the i n t r o-

d u c t i o n of IC ' s first S u m m e r B a l l .

H e p r o m i s e d to k e e p t i cke t leve ls

b e l o w £ 5 0 , a n d h i n t e d t h a t

A l e x a n d r a P a l a c e is n o w a l m o s t

c e r t a i n to h o u s e this y e a r ' s B a l l .

W e ' l l b r i n g y o u fu r the r d e v e l o p -

men t s as they h a p p e n .

C V C P B L O C K N E W

QUAL IF ICAT IONS

The C o m m i t t e e of V i c e - C h a n c e l -

lors a n d P r i n c i p l e s (the r e p r e s e n -

tat ive b o d y f o r the l e a d e r s of a l l

B r i t a in ' s H i g h e r E d u c a t i o n ins t i tu-

t ions) l o o k s set to e f fec t i ve l y v e to

the g o v e r n m e n t ' s n e w p l a n s fo r

pos t 1 6 e d u c a t i o n , w i th V i c e Pres-

iden t R o d e r i c k F l a u d s u g g e s t i n g

tha t " i t is very u n l i k e l y that we wi l l

r e q u i r e any of the n e w q u a l i f i c a -

t i ons f o r entry to h i g h e r e d u c a -

t i o n " . If c o l l e g e s a n d un ive rs i t i es

re fuse to a c c e p t the n e w A- leve l

a l t e r n a t i v e s t h e n it is b e l i e v e d that

t h e r e w i l l b e n o d e s i r e f r o m

s c h o o l s o r s tuden t s to i m p l e m e n t

the n e w s c h e m e .

FELIX NEEDS YOU E

,

L

S

E

E

R

15 1999 . Feli 3

ICU Careers Fair Pugwash lecture

THE NEWS TEAM

F o r a l l f i n a l y e a r s tuden t s t he r e a r e

few m o r e stressful t h i ngs in l ife

t han t r a i p s i n g a r o u n d a s e e m i n g l y

e n d l e s s s u c c e s s i o n of c o m p a n i e s ,

t ry ing to f i nd you r se l f that c a r e e r

o p p o r t u n i t y that he l p s to m a k e

three o r m o r e years at IC w o r t h -

w h i l e .

To save y o u at leas t s o m e of

the has s l e , the U n i o n o r g a n i s e s a n

a n n u a l C a r e e r s Fa i r w h e r e the

c r e a m o f E u r o p e ' s b i g g e s t c o r p o -

rate a n d g r a d u a t e rec ru i t e r s c o m e

d i rect ly to y o u . S o , if y o u w a n t to

see w h a t to see w h a t a l m o s t fifty of

Eu rope ' s best g r a d u a t e e m p l o y e r s

have to o f f e r y o u , a l l y o u n e e d to

d o is turn up at Beit Q u a d this

W e d n e s d a y ( 1 7 N o v e m b e r )

b e t w e e n 1 1 a m a n d 5 p m a n d

they' l l be k e e n to ta lk to y o u . You

d o n ' t n e e d t o be a f i na l y e a r s t u -

d e n t o r h a v e a n y p a r t i c u l a r l y

s t rong g o a l s o r c a r e e r p l a n s , just

the des i r e to f i nd you r se l f e m p l o y -

m e n t in the n e a r fu tu re .

Th is is the b i g g e s t i n d e p e n d -

ent c a r e e r s f a i r in the count ry , a n d

is a v a l u a b l e c h a n c e to c h e c k ou t

a w i d e r a n g e of d i f fe rent o p p o r t u -

n i t i e s . C o m p a n i e s a t t e n d i n g

i n c l u d e a c ross s e c t i o n of the

m a n a g e m e n t , t e c h n i c a l , f i n a n c i a l

a n d c o n s u l t i n g w o r l d , with A n d e r -

sen C o n s u l t i n g , A r t h u r A n d e r s e n ,

P r i c e W a t e r h o u s e C o o p e r s , G o l d -

m a n S a c h s , De lo i t t e C o n s u l t i n g ,

N a t W e s t IT, O x y g e n S o l u t i o n s L td ,

C a m b r i d g e T e c h n o l o g y Par tners ,

R i c a r d o , O v e A r u p , L e h m a n

B ro the r s , Rol ls Royce , The A rm y ,

C h a s e M a n h a t t a n B a n k a n d o v e r

forty o t h e r s , as we l l as the C o l l e g e

C a r e e r s S e r v i c e .

If y o u w a n t a j ob this y e a r o r

next y e a r there 's on l y o n e p l a c e to

start , so m a k e sure you visit the

C a r e e r s Fa i r o n W e d n e s d a y .

D e t a i l s a b o u t the c o m p a n i e s

a t t e n d i n g a r e a v a i l a b l e f r o m the

U n i o n O f f i c e a n d the C o l l e g e

C a r e e r s S e r v i c e .

PATRICK BRANNAC

Student Pugwash con t i nued its series

of lectures with a talk g iven by D r

John Hassa rd f rom Imperial C o l -

lege's Physics depar tment . The title

of the lecture was 'Will C l i m a t e

C h a n g e Dr ive N u c l e a r P ro l i f e ra-

t ion? ' a n d it f o cused on whether

nuc lea r energy c o u l d prov ide a s o l u -

t ion to the threat of g l o b a l w a r m i n g .

If C O 2 p r o d u c e d f r om fossil

fue ls is c a u s i n g a subs tan t i a l

increase in g l o b a l t empera tu re , o n e

obv ious so lut ion w o u l d be to use a n

energy source that puts out no C O 2 ,

such as nuclear. A p r o b l e m with

nuc l ea r energy is that it p roduce s

ma te r i a l that , e s pe c i a l l y w h e n

reprocessed , can be used to bu i ld

n u c l e a r w e a p o n s . This mani fes ts

itself in n u c l e a r p r o l i f e r a t i o n ,

because nearly every country in the

wor ld w o u l d have their o w n factor ies

p u m p i n g out mate r i a l , wh i ch has up

until n o w been the ma jo r l imit ing

fac tor in the m a k i n g of n u c l e a r

w e a p o n s .

D r H a s s a r d a r g u e d that if d r a -

mat i c c h a n g e s to the c l imate d id

o c c u r ove r a t ime sca le of years ,

then n u c l e a r energy c o u l d be a

shor t- term s o l u t i o n , ha l t i ng the

increase in C O 2 levels in the a t m o s -

p h e r e unti l r e n e w a b l e ene rgy

sou r ce s b e c o m e v i ab l e . N u c l e a r

pro l i fe ra t ion n eed not result, p rov id-

ing the reactors are des i gned to

min imise the w e a p o n s g r a d e mater i-

a l p r o d u c e d . N u c l e a r a c c o u n t a n c y

c o u l d be suf f i c ient ly r e l i ab l e to

ensure that there is n o increase in

the ava i lab i l i ty of such mater ia l to

despo t i c r eg imes .

The next lecture to be held is

'Veri fy ing N u c l e a r D i s a r m a m e n t : A

Role For A W E A l d e r m a s t o n ' by Tom

M i l n e on 2 D e c e m b e r at 1 p m . If you

are interested in the imp lemen ta t i on

of ethics in s c i e n c e , then c o m e

a l o n g to the societ ies weekly meet-

ings he ld every Thursday at 1 p m in

the B C R (top f l oo r of the U n i o n

bu i ld ing ) .

Practice your case study interview technique and get a head

start on applying to one of the top management consulting firms!

Mitchell Madison Group are looking for final

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g : , 1999 �www.mmgnet.com www.uswebcks.com

g x

Advice Centre Update BY MARTIN T H O M S O N ,

U N I O N ADVISOR �M a n y in te rna t iona l (non E u r o p e a n )

students may still be u n a w a r e that

as l o n g as they d o n ' t have a n entry

c l e a r a n c e s t a m p w h i c h states that

they are p r o h i b i t e d f r o m w o r k i n g ,

they c a n n o w work fo r up to 2 0

hours per week in te rm t ime , o r ful l

t ime in the v a c a t i o n s . Th i s is

b e c a u s e the g o v e r n m e n t g a v e wha t

they d e s c r i b e d as " b l a n k e t p e r m i s -

s i o n " to al l students w h o have the

restr ict ion s t a m p in J u n e of this

year. (The restr ict ion s t a m p is the

one that says that you n e e d to get

pe rm i s s i on f r o m the Secre tary of

State for E m p l o y m e n t be fo re you

can work ) . T h e r e f o r e , you c a n work

in the U n i o n or in C o l l e g e , you c a n

take up s u m m e r p l a c e m e n t s o r d o

any o ther k ind of work w i thout

n e e d i n g to g o t h r o u g h any further

b u r e a u c r a c y (apart f r o m get t ing a

N a t i o n a l I n s u r a n c e n u m b e r l ) .

S o m e e m p l o ye r s a re still c o n f u s e d

by the c h a n g e s , however , so if you

expe r i ence any di f f icu l t ies p l e a se

con tac t me . The s i tua t ion fo r w o r k -

ing after g r a d u a t i o n is still the s a m e

and work permits a re r e q u i r e d . It

c a n be poss ib l e to stay o n for a

year o r so to get work e x p e r i e n c e o r

to d o s o m e t r a in ing but this won ' t

a l l o w e d you to switch o v e r to a full

work permit . Let m e k n o w if you

have any ques t i ons .

C �

You ' l l h a ve to fo rg i v e m e fo r g o i n g

on a b o u t h o u s i n g , a n d I h o p e that

e ve r yone is r e a s o n a b l y sett led into

their a c c o m m o d a t i o n at this po in t .

I th ink that a c o u p l e of th ings

are wor thy of r e m i n d e r ; firstly, if

you d i d not get a n inventory t a k e n

w h e n you m o v e d i n , you s h o u l d

have d o n e o n e you rse l ves . If y o u

haven ' t d o n e th is , d o it n o w a n d

take p h o t o g r a p h s of the p rope r t y

so you c a n s h o w w h a t it w a s l ike in

the event of a d i spu t e w h e n y o u

leave . L a n d l o r d s d o of ten k e e p

d e p o s i t s c l a i m i n g tha t s t u d e n t s

have c a u s e d d a m a g e . If you l eave

w i thou t a n inven to r y o r p h o t o -

g r a p h s , it c a n be very h a r d to

a r g u e a c a s e .

If any th ing b reaks wh i l e you

are in the proper ty t h r o u g h w e a r

a n d tea r (a cha i r , a n a p p l i a n c e etc)

you must write to the l a n d l o r d a n d

notify t h e m of this . O t h e r w i s e w h e n

you l e ave you m a y f a c e d e d u c t i o n s

f r o m you r depos i t .

S im i l a r l y , if s o m e t h i n g is in

l o r d , s imp ly not i fy ing h i m / h e r of

the p r o b l e m . K e e p a c o p y a n d

m a k e sure it is d a t e d . The r e a s o n

for this is that if the l a n d l o r d we re

to refuse to d o the r epa i r a n d you

h a d to take fur ther a c t i o n , a cour t

w o u l d not expec t the l a n d l o r d to

k n o w a b o u t the p r o b l e m until y ou

c a n s h o w that you b r o u g h t it to

the i r a t t en t ion . If a l a n d l o r d d o e s

n e e d of repair , there are two steps

you must t ake . Firstly, c h e c k you r

t e n a n c y a g r e e m e n t to see w h e t h e r

o r not the l a n d l o r d c a n e n d it early.

This c a n on ly be d o n e if the l a n d -

l o r d h a s a " b r e a k c l a u s e " in

h i s/her f avour , a n d this is not a

s t a n d a r d c l a u s e . If there is a b r eak

c l a u s e , this s h o u l d have a n i m p a c t

o n y o u r n e g o t i a t i n g p o s i t i o n

b e c a u s e you m a y wan t to be as

n i ce to the l a n d l o r d as poss ib l e

wh i l e ge t t ing the r epa i r d o n e . If

there is n o b reak c l a u s e a n d you

a re , f o r e x a m p l e , s e cu r e in you r

flat unti l the e n d of t e r m , the first

t h ing to d o is to write to you r l and-

not carry out repa i r s wi th in a r e a -

s o n a b l e t i m e , they are in b r e a c h of

con t r ac t .

If, f o r wha t e ve r r e a s o n , you are

t h i n k i ng of l e a v i n g y o u r a c c o m m o -

d a t i o n early, it is essent ia l that you

c h e c k you r l ega l p o s i t i o n . Even

t h o u g h you m igh t have a m o r a l l y

g o o d r e a s o n for m o v i n g out , this

may not re l ease you f r o m y o u r

con t rac t . If you b r eak a con t r a c t ,

l a n d l o r d s c a n (and s o m e t i m e s do)

sue f o r m e r t e n a n t s , e s p e c i a l l y

w h e n they have g u a r a n t o r s . It is

a l so s o m e t i m e s p o s s i b l e f o r you r

co- tenants to sue y o u if you b r e a k

you r con t r a c t a n d they lose money .

c h

It's b o r i n g I k n o w but if you haven ' t

d o n e it this t e rm , m a k e sure you set

yourse l f a b u d g e t f o r the next. B u d -

ge t ing is as s im p l e as d i v i d i n g you r

termly i n c o m e into w e e k s , a n d then

s u b d i v i d i n g into the th ings that you

n e e d a n d the th ings that you want .

W e ' r e w o r k i n g o n rev i s ing a n d

r e p r i n t i n g o u r F i n a n c i a l G u i d e

w h i c h wi l l h a ve m o r e i n f o r m a t i o n

o n b u d g e t i n g . If you n e e d any he lp

in w o r k i n g out a b u d g e t , get in

t o u c h .

A c c e s s funds a re a v a i l a b l e n o w

fo r h o m e students f r o m the S tudent

F i n a n c e O f f i c e , r o o m 3 3 5 Sher-

f i e l d . L o o k o u t f o r the n o t i c e s

a r o u n d C o l l e g e . The re a re a l so

l imi ted h a r d s h i p f unds fo r i n t e r n a -

t i ona l s tudents a n d the Ci ty a n d

G u i l d s , Roya l C o l l e g e of S c i e n c e ,

a n d Roya l S c h o o l o f M i n e s a l l have

C o n s t i t u e n t C o l l e g e A s s o c i a t i o n

H a r d s h i p Trusts w h i c h m igh t be

a b l e to g ive s o m e he lp to students

in g e n u i n e a n d u n e x p e c t e d h a r d -

sh ip . F u n d r a i s i n g is very dif f icult f o r

students w h o have started a cou r se

w i thout a d e q u a t e f u n d i n g , but it is

usua l l y p o s s i b l e to get at least s o m e

he lp fo r t hose w h o a re in the last six

m on t hs of a c o u r s e a n d f a c i n g

u n e x p e c t e d d i f f i cu l t ies .

C h r i s t m a s is a grea t t ime fo r

r a c k i n g up cred i t deb ts . The re is a

lot that c a n be d o n e to m a n a g e

cred i t debts w h e n th ings b e c o m e

ha rd to c o p e with a n d this i n c l udes

get t ing he lp a r r a n g i n g a f f o r d a b l e

r e p a y m e n t p l ans with c red i tors a n d

h o l d i n g off cour t a c t i o n . If you f ind

yourse l f with mu l t i p l e cred i t debts

a n d you a re j u g g l i n g o n e deb t to

pay fo r the o the r t hen p l e a se c o m e

a n d see m e . The A d v i c e Serv ice

assists p e o p l e with d e b t p r o b l e m s in

a strictly impa r t i a l a n d n o n - j u d g e -

menta l manne r . I'm here to he lp ,

not to lec ture .

c t

To m a k e a n a p p o i n t m e n t to ca l l in

f o r a c o n f i d e n t i a l cha t a b o u t any

p r o b l e m , b ig o r s m a l l , ca l l U n i o n

R e c e p t i o n o n 0 1 7 1 5 9 4 8 0 6 0 ,

c o n t a c t m e d i rec t l y o n in te rna l

e x t e n s i o n 4 8 0 6 7 , o r e m a i l

m . m . t h o m s o n @ i c . a c . u k .

ICII

wsa

Quai

C O M P A N Y I N F O R M A T I O N D R O C H O R E

N O W F R O M ICO A N D T H E C A R E E R S OFF ICE

6 e Feli � 15 1999

Nothing toifb with me? e c

En g a g e any g r o u p of scientists o r eng inee rs

in d i s cuss ion ove r any e th i ca l , po l i t i ca l o r

s o c i o l o g i c a l issue a n d you ' re sure to h e a r

the mant ra " k n o w l e d g e fo r knowledge ' s

sake " r epea ted m o r e than o n c e . The ins inua t ion is

that pure research is free f r o m any outs ide in f lu-

ences o r c o n c e r n s , that it is dr iven by a des i re to

unde r s t and , not by g l o b a l i m p a c t o r i m p l i c a t i o n .

But is this t rue? C a n scientists a n d eng inee rs deny

responsibi l i ty f o r the i r work , o r must they share

b l a m e a n d cu lpab i l i t y a l o n g with credi t ?

The mos t o b v i o u s (and c l i ched) e x a m p l e is

obv ious l y the M a n h a t t a n Project. Years later,

many of the l e a d i n g f igures o n the project a c c e p t -

ed that wha t they d i d , wha t they c r e a t e d , c h a n g e d

the f a ce of the w o r l d - i n d e e d it w o u l d be easy to

a r g u e that the invent ion of the a t o m i c b o m b inti-

mately s h a p e d the history a n d pol i t ics o f the entire

s e c o n d half o f the twentieth century. Yet s o m e

w o u l d still say that wha t they were e n g a g e d in w a s

still a research b a s e d p r o g r a m m e (at tempting to

harness a t o m i c energy f o r the first t ime) , a n d thus

the responsib i l i ty lies not with O p p e n h e i m e r a n d

his t e a m , but rather with President T ruman a n d his

military adv i so r s , w h o au tho r i s ed the d r o p p i n g of

the b o m b .

In ac tua l fact , the M a n h a t t a n Project h i g h -

lights the real p r o b l e m with scient i f ic r espons ib i l i -

ty - if you see the i m p e n d i n g imp l i ca t i ons of your

r esea rch , s h o u l d you s top you r work , desp i te the

(seeming) certainty that s o m e o n e else wil l r e a ch

the s a m e d iscover ies within the next few years? In

this c a se , their des i re to des i gn the b o m b was

dr iven by the threat o f the G e r m a n ' s cons t ruc t ing

one first (whether o r not there ever was actua l l y

any c h a n c e of a N a z i a t o m i c b o m b is a w h o l e dif-

ferent d i scuss ion ) . A l t h o u g h this is a very extreme

e x a m p l e , it's still a s ing le e x a m p l e of a m u c h

m o r e w i d e s p r e a d ( and , f r om a m o r a l s t andpo in t ,

inc red ib ly complex ) p r o b l e m .

To use a r easonab l y recent e x a m p l e , if you

are o n the verge of d i s cove r ing the t e rm ina to r

g e n e fo r G M m od i f i e d c rops , s h o u l d you f o l l o w

t h r o u g h your research . O n o n e h a n d , you ' l l g a i n

pres t ige , c a s h a n d the f o u n d a t i o n s for G M

research that c o u l d c h a n g e the w o r l d for the bet-

ter. O n the o ther h a n d you ' l l d e v e l o p a c r o p that

c o u l d destroy m an y third w o r l d e c o n o m i e s a n d

g i ve o n e p r o d u c e r a n inc red ib l y d a n g e r o u s

m o n o p o l y . S o , d o you g o a h e a d a n d give M o n -

san to the fruits of your research , o r d o you lock

everything in a d a r k e n e d c u p b o a r d ? We l l , s o m e

of you are p r o b a b l y th ink ing that you s h o u l d (and

m a y b e wou ld ) take the mora l h i g h g r o u n d a n d b in

you r work . But h a n g o n , if you don ' t d o it, you

k n o w full wel l that a g r o u p of US researchers in

C h i c a g o a re only a few months beh in d y o u , a n d

they ' l l p r o b a b l y have g iven the g e n e to their

backe rs by the e n d of the year... So is there ever

any po int in trying to cont ro l your r esea rch , o r

s h o u l d you a lways f o l l ow th rough o n you r work to

the greatest poss ib le extent? W e l l , d o you really

th ink that if the scientists e n g a g e d in the M a n h a t -

tan Project h a d f o l l o w e d t h r o u g h o n their threat

a n d w a l k e d out on the US g o v e r n m e n t in 1 9 4 4

the H b o m b w o u l d never have h a p p e n e d ? N o , of

course not - s o m e o n e w o u l d have m a d e the

b r e a k t h r o u g h (a l though quite poss ib ly not for

m a n y years) a n d w h o ' s to say that they w o u l d

have b e e n any m o r e cau t ious with their i nven-

t ion?

The real p r o b l e m , then , is the fact that you

will be l abe l l ed with the responsibi l i ty (whether

you c h o o s e to take it o r not) fo r your d i scover i es ,

a n d yet you really have n o say over t h e m . The

way research is f u n d e d m e a n s that there will

a lways be s o m e o n e else out there with a say in

you r invent ion , be they g o v e r n m e n t a l , c o r p o r a t e ,

trust b a s e d o r even Imper ia l C o l l e g e of S c i ence ,

T e c h n o l o g y a n d M e d i c i n e . A n d most backe rs wil l

have f u n d e d y o u r resea rch f r o m profit d r i ven , not

altruist ic, mot ives , s o the l i k e l i h o o d of them lis-

t en ing to you r m o r a l j udgemen t s is s l im to say the

least. Even if the mos t d a n g e r o u s aspec ts of your

d i scover i es a re entirely a c c i d e n t a l (they frequent ly

are) you r backe r s wil l still wan t to max im i se their

profits ( because , if no th ing e l se , they wil l on ly be

a b l e to f i nance future R & D if y o u r dev e l opm en t s

p rove marke tab le ) .

S o , d o e s al l that m e a n that the scient i f ic c o m -

munity c a n deny a l l responsib i l i ty fo r the results of

it's wo rk ? The p r o b l e m is that , if t a k e n t o o far,

log i c of this k ind c a n r e m o v e the we ight of

responsib i l i ty f r o m eve ryone . If the scientist is not

respons ib l e fo r d e s i g n i n g the inven t ion , the m a n -

ufacturer c a n n o t be respons ib l e fo r bu i l d i ng it, or

the C h i e f Execut ive for d e p l o y i n g it. S o w e are left

to h a n g the b l a m e o n the p o o r guy at the bo t tom

with his f inger o n the b ig red but ton o r the syringe

- but surely he 's just o b e y i n g o rde r s ? Ult imately,

eve ryone must a c c e p t their sha re , b e c a u s e all

have had a c h a n c e to m a k e a d i f fe rence , yet

n o n e have . You could b l o c k the use of you r inven-

t i on , by o n e m e a n s o r another , a n d if you c h o o s e

not to then with that c h o i c e you a c c e p t respons i-

bility.

A s a f inal note , there 's o n e interest ing s i deba r

to my m a i n e x a m p l e , the M a n h a t t a n Project. In

the fifty f ou r years s ince the b o m b s were d r o p p e d ,

a lmos t eve ryone invo l ved in the p r o g r a m m e has

expressed so r row a n d remorse fo r what they d i d -

the scientists, the pi lot , the m a n w h o o p e n e d the

b o m b bay d o o r s - with o n e key except ion - the US

g o v e r n m e n t . Interpret that as you w i l l . . .

C o m m e n t s a n d f e e d b a c k a re very w e l c o m e -

e m a i l felix@ic.ac.uk.

DAVID ROBERTS

London Transport Student

Photocard 1999/2000

ICU WILL STOP ISSUING DISCOUNT CARDS

THIS FRIDAY (NOVEMBER 19th)

s

t

m

Computer Shop

Level 4

Mechanical Engineering Building

.

m

k

P r i c e s @ h t tp : //www.cc . i c . a c .uk/admin/shop/

• , BLANK CD OFFER 25 i a PLASTIC CASE

P only £ 2 5 . 0 0

Pr ices Inc lude V A T - Avai lable whi lst s tocks last

8 ����� Feli� � 15 ��� !" # 1999

What is THE CITY & GUILDS COLLEGE UNION SECTION reengineering (he

way you think

City & Guilds College Union? CGCU are back - this time to answer the one big question that students want an answer to...

Fo r the o r d i n a r y J o e B l o g g s

tha t s t ro l l s d o w n the w a l k -

way , the t h o u g h t o f C i t y &

G u i l d s C o l l e g e U n i o n s e e m s to

b r i n g up o n e g u e s t i o n a b o v e a l l

e l se - w h a t is it? T h e r e is little

u n d e r s t a n d i n g in the g e n e r a l s t u -

d e n t p o p u l o u s of w h a t C i t y &

G u i l d s C o l l e g e U n i o n i s , o r w h a t

it d o e s . If y o u a re o n e of these

u n e n l i g h t e n e d s o u l s , h o l d t ight t o

these p a g e s , r e a d o n a n d p r e p a r e

to be i l l u m i n a t e d .

City & Guilds College

The C r e a m o f I m p e r i a l

C i t y & G u i l d s C o l l e g e is

I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e ' s C o n s t i t u e n t

C o l l e g e f o r the e n g i n e e r i n g p r o -

f e s s i o n . H e n c e a l l s t u d e n t s in

C & G C o l l e g e a r e o n a d e g r e e

that is e n g i n e e r i n g f o c u s e d , as

o p p o s e d t o m e d i c a l , e n v i r o n m e n -

ta l o r s c i e n t i f i c . W h a t d o e s this

m e a n ? A s a n e x a m p l e , s c i e n c e

s e e k s to u n c o v e r new laws of

n a t u r e . T h e s c i e n c e d e g r e e s o p t i -

m i s e th is . E n g i n e e r i n g s e e k s t o

s o l v e c l i en t b a s e d p r o b l e m s w i t h -

in g i v e n c o n s t r a i n t s . A l l e n g i n e e r -

ing d e g r e e s , i.e. t h o s e of C i t y &

G u i l d s C o l l e g e , a r e f o c u s e d

a r o u n d this i m p l e m e n t a t i o n o r i e n -

t a t e d a p p r o a c h . T h e type of s t u -

d e n t o n a C & G C o l l e g e d e g r e e is

a l s o d i f f e ren t t o that of a s tuden t

in any o t h e r cons t i t uency . C & G

C o l l e g e s tuden ts c o m e , to I m p e r i -

a l w i th a n A Leve l po in t s a v e r a g e

of a l m o s t 2 9 . Th i s is o v e r o n e

p o i n t m o r e t h a n the a v e r a g e

m e d i c o r sc i en t i s t , a n d s e v e r a l

p o i n t s m o r e t h a n the a v e r a g e

m ine r . B e c a u s e of the lu c r a t i v e

n a t u r e o f the C & G C o l l e g e

d e g r e e s , s i n c e they a r e o r i e n t a t e d

t o w a r d s indust ry , C & G C o l l e g e

s tuden t s a l s o e a r n m o r e w h e n

they l e a v e c o l l e g e t h a n the a v e r -

a g e m e d i c , s c i en t i s t o r m ine r .

H e n c e C & G C o l l e g e is d is t inc t l y

d i f f e r en t to the o t h e r c o n s t i t u e n -

c i e s . "When you enter industry,

your degree represents the Cor-

don Bleu of Engineering" D a v i d

B i s h o p , C i t y & G u i l d s C o i i e g e

U n i o n P res iden t 1 9 6 5 / 1 9 6 6 .

City & Guilds College Union

R e e n g i n e e r i n g The W a y Y o u T h i n k

C i t y & G u i l d s C o l l e g e U n i o n

( C G C U ) is the s tuden t u n i o n f o r

C & G C o l l e g e . A s s u c h , it r e p r e -

sents this e n g i n e e r i n g p o r t i o n of

the s tuden ts in I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e .

Y o u r a c a d e m i c y e a r r e p r e s e n t a -

t ives a re just o n e f a c e of C i t y &

G u i l d s C o l l e g e U n i o n . T h e s e s t u -

den t s r e p r e s e n t y o u r interests at a

l o c a l l eve l in y o u r d e g r e e , r a i s i n g

c o n c e r n s in t h a t y e a r g r o u p .

C G C U a l s o has D e p a r t m e n t a l

R e p r e s e n t a t i v e s , w h o wi l l r a i s e

i s sues w h i c h a r e not d e a l t w i th at

a l o c a l l e v e l , o r t h o s e tha t a f f ec t a

d e p a r t m e n t a s a w h o l e . T h e

C G C U A c a d e m i c A f f a i r s o f f i c e r

c o - o r d i n a t e s wi th the D e p a r t m e n -

ta l Rep re sen t a t i v e s to ra ise m a t -

ters i nsu f f i c i en t l y d e a l t w i th at a

l o c a l leve l at the h i g h e s t l eve l s of

c o l l e g e , a n d to b r i n g t o the f o r e

i s sues that e f fect the C & G C o l -

l e g e e n g i n e e r s as a w h o l e .

Y o u r D e p a r t m e n t a l Soc i e t y is

the f a c e of C G C U that y o u wi l l

see o n a m o r e d a y to d a y b a s i s .

T h e s e s o c i e t i e s r e p r e s e n t the s p e -

c i f i c interests o f y o u r d e p a r t m e n t

s o c i a l l y as we l l as in a r r a n g i n g

ac t i v i t i es tha t a re a n e x t e n s i o n of

y o u r d e g r e e . E x t r a o r d i n a r y S o c i -

et ies s u c h as the C & G M o t o r

C l u b , C & G R u g b y C l u b a n d

Ees tec p r o v i d e o p p o r t u n i t i e s to

e x p l o r e y o u r e n g i n e e r i n g interests

a s a w h o l e , o r t o b e c o m e

i n v o l v e d in r e p r e s e n t i n g the e n g i -

n e e r i n g ident i ty o f C & G C o i i e g e .

C G C U a l s o has s t r o n g l inks

wi th the C G C A , the c o r p o r a t e

a s s o c i a t i o n o f C & G C o l l e g e f o r

pas t a n d p r e s e n t m e m b e r o f C & G

C o l l e g e . The C G C A p r o v i d e s net-

w o r k i n g o p p o r t u n i t i e s - t h e

o p p o r t u n i t y to m e e t a n d k n o w

p e o p l e in indus t r y a n d e l s e w h e r e .

" H a v i n g c o n t a c t s " h a s a l w a y s

b e e n a n e x c e l l e n t c o m m o d i t y in

l i f e . G u i l d s h e e t is the s t u d e n t

p u b l i c a t i o n f o r C G C U , a n d as

s u c h p r o v i d e s a h u m o u r o u s a l t e r -

na t i ve m e d i u m , r e p o r t i n g o n the

ac t i v i t i es o f C G C U a s we l l as

e n t e r t a i n i n g t h e C & G C o l l e g e

s t u de n t s .

O u r e v e n t s g r o w f r o m

s t r eng th t o s t r e n g t h . A t l an t i s - T h e

C & G F reshers D i n n e r , t he a n n u a l

hit e x t r a v a g a n z a r e t u r n s th i s

w e e k , a n d fu tu re even ts a r e a l l set

to be g r a d e A s t a n d a r d . A taster,

to g i v e r e a s s u r a n c e , is the L o n d o n

B o a t R a c e in F e b r u a r y , w h e r e

G u i l d s f a c e U C L , K i n g s a n d any

o t h e r L o n d o n c o l l e g e that wan t s

to be i n v o l v e d in a m a s s i v e 1 0 0

pint B o a t (d r ink ing ) R a c e .

A s a U n i o n , w e a l s o a i m to d o

m o r e . In r e c e n t y ea r s w e h a v e

a d d e d t o o u r ar t i l l e ry o f se r v i c e s .

C G C U B u d d i e s , the sys tem f o r

p a i r i n g up n e w f r e s h e r s tuden ts

w i t h o l d e r s t u d e n t s f r o m the

d e p a r t m e n t t o h e l p f r e she r s sett le

in to un ivers i t y l i fe w a s a s u c c e s s

in its p i l o t y e a r o n ISE a n d C i v i l

E n g i n e e r i n g , a n d is set t o be

e x p a n d e d to the rest o f C & G C o l -

l e g e f o r t h e nex t i n t a k e . T h e

In te rnsh ip C e n t r e is in the C G C U

p r o d u c t i o n l i n e , a n d wi l l u l t i m a t e -

ly be a p l a c e w h e r e s tuden t s s e e k -

i n g s u m m e r v a c a t i o n w o r k c a n

c o m e by a n d a p p l y f o r j obs r e l e -

v a n t t o t h e i r d e g r e e s . C G C U

A c t i v e is the n e w "soc i e t y e x t e n -

s i o n " o f t h e C G C U E x e c u t i v e

C o m m i t t e e , a l l o w i n g y o u to get

i n v o l v e d in the p a r t i c u l a r r u n n i n g

o f a c e r t a i n a r e a o f C G C U , as

s u c h a l l o w i n g y o u t o d o m o r e a n d

g e t t i n g m o r e of w h a t y o u w a n t

f r o m C G C U .

C G C U is a U n i o n tha t is

e v o l v i n g to m e e t the n e e d s of its

s t u d e n t s , a n d as the M i l l e n n i u m

a p p r o a c h e s , it w i l l c o n t i n u e to

b e c o m e b i g g e r a n d better. " R e a d y

to play a prominent part in the

advancement of the University"

G u i l d s U n i o n , as d e s c r i b e d by

T h e C e n t r a l in 1 9 1 0 .

5 n 9

The State of the Union e

After consultation with one IC

male (who said this column made

me sound 'blonde') I am trying to

sound a bit more 'nails' this week!

A

I don't need to explain again why

we are not NUS, Dave Roberts did it

well last time. Besides he is far more

friendly about the backstabbing gits

that run it than I could ever be. We're

out and it's good for us. We're not

alone in thinking this - other Unions

have left, some never joined! In pre-

vious years there have been ideas on

getting us together as a cohesive

unit. For the first time ever (we think)

we met up last weekend for training

and talks. The most exiting thing was

the suggestion that Northern Services

(a buying consortium which we use,

but that is based in Scotland) could

provide a new southern division. This

could lead to some even better bar-

gains for ICU.

r

Allegedly, Warner Brothers care

about IC students. They are really

sorry that they don't give us a dis-

count at the moment and for their

By Tasha Newton, Imperial College Union President

massively high charging - ahhh.

They care in fact so much that they

are prepared to wait until December

to discuss us at their next pricing

meeting!! Still the Imperial College

Union President is not letting them

forget that 'student discount' means

discounts for students and has sug-

gested they remove their digit from

their lower sphincter. They will now

decide at the meeting whether they

can allow our cards direct or whether

they want to produce a card which

we could hand out for them. (That

was my idea, and you'll believe that

until you read the next paragraph.)

They fully apologise for any incon-

venience and understand if none of

you guys choose to go to Warner's in

the near future. In the mean time they

take ISIC cards, which are available

from STA on the walkway. Can I point

out that Virgin are IC friendly and

cheaper?!

V

This year HMV have been dis-

tributing discount cards, for ALL stu-

dents. They have been sent out via

the NUS to be issued 'in House'. But,

individual branches have extra cards

to issue to non NUS colleges, unfor-

tunately, the local branch's Saturday

staff are slow to get the message and

have been demanding NUS ID. After

a very guick discussion with the man

from HQ, this has all now been sort-

ed with: a memo to ALL branches to

be nice to us and 300 cards which

are winging their way to ICU as I

speak! HMV have also offered their

sincere apologies. HMV discount

cards should be available from the

Union office this week, hurrah.

g

Democracy! Register to vote so

you can choose who runs London for

the time you are here as a student. It

couldn't be easier, just email me and

I'll send you a copy of the slip or pick

up a post card from the office. ULU

will be organising hustings for the

candidates, so if you are interested in

what your mayor will do (or not) for

you, watch this space.

s

At the time this went to press

things were going much better for the

IC student who contracted meningitis

nearer the start of term. I have sent

him a card on behalf of all the stu-

dents of Imperial College Union.

-

Tue 16th Nov

12.00 Services Committee,

Clubs Committee Room.

13.00 A&E Treasurers meeting,

Resource Centre.

1 7.00 VP Question time for the

medics. St Mary's.

20.00 CAG Soup run, meet in

Weeks Hall

Wed 1 7th Nov

11.00 Careers Fair, Beit Quad.

13.00 Academic Afairs Commit-

tee.

Thur 18th Nov

12.30 RCC Treasures meeting,

Resource Centre.

18.00 Executive Committee,

Resource Centre.

20.00 CAG Soup run.

Fri 19th Nov

1 3.00 SCC Treasurers meeting,

Resource Centre.

Student Rights as Consumers / Student Debt

NATIONAL DEMO

25th

November 1999

From U L U to Kennington Park

Assemble outside ULU at 11:00 I f y o u have a disabil i ty making it difficult to get to U L U and back from

Kennington Park, contact K e v i n ( D P ( E & W ) ) on x . 5 8 0 6 4 or dpew@ic.ac .uk

to arrange a place on the minibus.

Event organised by NUS and U L U , supported by /'CU.

0 k x

SLIDING TO SAFETY

This w e e k K e v i n h a s b e e n in N o t t i n g h a m .

W h i l e in Q u e e n ' s M e d i c a l C e n t r e ; a h o s p i t a l

w h i c h is a l s o the h o m e o f v a r i o u s b i o l o g i c a l

a n d m e d i c a l f a c u l t i e s , K e v i n n o t i c e d tha t t h e r e

we re c u r v e d b l a c k p l a s t i c d o o r s in the c o r n e r s

of m a n y of the l a b s . O n a s k i n g a s to the p u r -

p o s e of the d o o r s K e v i n l e a rn t tha t they w e r e

e s c a p e rou tes - no t just y o u r s t a n d a r d f i re ex i t ,

but a m a z i n g l y c o o l c h u t e s , w h i c h in a n e m e r -

g e n c y y o u c o u l d u se to s l i de d o w n t o the

g r o u n d f l o o r a n d to safety.

FREE MOVIES

D u r i n g his t i m e in N o t t i n g h a m , K e v i n s t a yed in

a h o u s e wi th a b u n c h o f s t u de n t s . K e v i n w a s

p l e a s a n t l y s u r p r i s e d t o f i n d tha t his hosts h a d

go t c a b l e T V a n d w a s a b l e t o s p e n d a c o u p l e

of e v e n i n g s w a t c h i n g Sky M o v i e s . Later in the

w e e k K e v i n l ea rn t tha t the m o v i e s w e r e in f a c t

f r e e , c o u r t e s y o f the t e l e c o m m u n i c a t i o n s c o m -

p a n y N T L . NTL> h a s a n a g r e e m e n t wi th the

Un i ve r s i t y t o p r o v i d e a s e r v i c e t o the c a m p u s ,

ha l l s o f r e s i d e n c e , a n d s tuden t s l i v ing e l s e -

w h e r e in the city. In re tu rn f o r b e i n g the s o l e

t e l e c o m m u n i c a t i o n s p r o v i d e r , t he Un ive rs i t y ,

o n b e h a l f o f the s tuden t s h a v e b e e n a b l e t o

n e g o t i a t e a b r i l l i an t d e a l w i th N T L . F o r a

m o n t h l y r e n t a l , w h i c h is c o m p a r a b l e t o that

c h a r g e d f o r a BT ' p h o n e , s tuden t s ge t a

' p h o n e , a n a n s w e r i n g s e r v i c e , a n d c a b l e TV.

C o n n e c t i o n to the c o l l e g e n e t w o r k is a n extra

w h i c h is a l s o a v a i l a b l e . Kev in is w a t c h i n g

m o v i e s , b e c a u s e a s par t of the d e a l the re is a n

o p t i o n to c h o o s e b e t w e e n f ree spo r t s , o r f ree

m o v i e s w h e n y o u s i g n u p . A s a n a d d e d b o n u s

the se r v i c e a l s o g i ves f ree ca l l s to a l l the o t h e r

N T L users in the a r e a , w h i c h u n s u r p r i s i n g l y

c o v e r s pretty m u c h a l l s tuden ts in N o t t i n g h a m .

O n e s t u d e n t ' s c o m m e n t s u m m e d up the b e n e -

fits o f the s y s t e m : " W e a l l use it l o a d s . It cos ts

us ha rd l y a n y t h i n g . "

Mish Mash

A Mostly Harmless Column by Kevin, a random entity who

knows nothing about nothing

ERICSSON EXCUSES

E r i c s s o n , the c o m p a n y c h o s e n t o p r o v i d e c o m -

m u n i c a t i o n se r v i c e s f o r IC is not g o i n g to c o m e

c l o s e t o the leve l o f exce l l en t s tuden t o r i e n t a t -

e d se r v i c e a s is p r o v i d e d at N o t t i n g h a m . A t IC

the sys tem is g o i n g to be e x p e n s i v e . T h e

c h a r g e s a r e g o i n g to be par t i a l l y h i d d e n in ha l l

r en ts , c a l l s w i l l not be p a r t i c u l a r l y c h e e p , a n d

the n e t w o r k wi l l be f a r f r o m c o m p r e h e n s i v e .

Excuses a r e a l r e a d y r e a c h i n g K e v i n . F o r e x a m -

p l e : I C ' s ha l l s a r e o l d , s o m e of t h e m a r e a b o u t

to be s o l d , o r r e f u r b i s h e d so it is not w o r t h

c o n n e c t i n g t h e m - a p p a r e n t l y e v e n S o u t h s i d e

is not g o i n g t o b e in the first p h a s e of c o n n e c -

t i o n s . T h e r e a r e a l s o s u p p o s e d l y d i f f i cu l t i e s at

IC b e c a u s e w e h a v e g o t so m a n y d i s p a r a t e

c a m p u s e s , a n d o u r s tuden t s a r e s p r e a d o u t a l l

o v e r L o n d o n .

In Kev i n ' s o p i n i o n a l l t hese e x c u s e s c o u l d

be a p p l i e d to s o m e d e g r e e at the Un i ve r s i t y o f

N o t t i n g h a m , but t he r e the s tuden t s h a v e b e e n

p r o v i d e d w i th a first ra te s e r v i c e , f o r a very r e a -

s o n a b l e cos t .

O U C H

Su re l y i n t e l l i g en t IC s tuden t s d o not w a l k in to

g l a s s d o o r s a n d b a s h the i r h e a d s o n h u g e stee l

s t a i r c a s e s . H o w e v e r K e v i n has n o t i c e d s teps

h a v e b e e n t a k e n to m a k e the e d g e s o f the

s t a i r c a s e in the B M S f o y e r m o r e v i s i b l e , a s i m -

i l a r a p p r o a c h has b e e n t a k e n w i th the g lass

d o o r s in the H e a l t h C e n t r e w h i c h h a v e a l s o

b e e n m a r k e d . K e v i n c a n o n l y p r e s u m e that

t hese m e a s u r e s h a v e b e e n t a k e n in r e s p o n s e

to i n c i d e n t s - p e r h a p s th is y e a r the Freshers a r e

a m o r e d o p e y b u n c h t h a n u s u a l .

To comment or contribute: http://come.to/mishmash

or email mishmash@ic.ac.uk

O h my g o d ! I C U ' s g o n e a l l p o l i t i -

ca l o n us . B e f o r e y o u a l l ge t

a l a r m e d , Tony hasn ' t s e l e c t e d this

y ea r ' s s a b b s to sit in the " a l l n e w "

H o u s e of Lords (we s h o u l d b e s o

lucky) ; i n s t ead I'm re fe r r i ng to

I C U C o u n c i l ' s d e c i s i o n a c t u a l l y to

s u p p o r t s o m e t h i n g (we l l , t h e r e ' s a

first t im e f o r eve ry th ing ) .

A n d w h a t is to be the event

w h i c h c a u s e s c o u n c i l to lose its

c o l l e c t i v e p o l i t i c a l v i rg in i t y ? W h y ,

the N U S n a t i o n a l d e m o n s t r a t i o n

a g a i n s t tu i t i on f ees . O f c o u r s e .

H a n g o n : tu i t i on fees a r e b a d ,

a ren ' t they ? W e s h o u l d be r e j o i c -

ing in the streets , s h o u l d n ' t w e ?

W e l l , m a y b e yes a n d m a y b e n o :

let 's wa i t a n d see . . . . O h , sorry , I

m e a n " p r e p a r e a n d d e c i d e " .

W h i l e I d o n ' t w a n t t o ge t in to

the tu i t i on f ee a r g u m e n t , it s e e m s

tha t I C U s u d d e n l y d o e s , t h a n k s to

a little p r o d f r o m e q u a l o p p o r t u n i -

t ies o f f i c e r G e o r g e C o n s t a n t i n i d e s .

A n d it 's this s u d d e n a b o u t - f a c e

tha t w o r r i e s m e .

W h i l e it 's true that o v e r the

years I C U C o u n c i l has b e e n re l i -

a b l y a s du l l a s the p r o v e r b i a l d i s h -

water , it has m e a n t that t h i ngs c a n

b e d i s c u s s e d r e a s o n a b l y , a n d

(shock) that m e e t i n g s c a n be r e l a -

t ive ly q u i c k a n d c lear . T h e N U S ,

o n the o t h e r h a n d , has b e e n c o n -

sistent ly s tuf fed fu l l o f the k i nd of

l o o n i e s tha t m a k e Red K e n l o o k

l ike H i m m l e r . It is f o r p rec i se l y this

r e a s o n that I C U has t r ad i t i ona l l y

h a t e d the N U S wi th a p a s s i o n of

w h i c h G a r y G l i t t e r w o u l d be

p r o u d .

T h e po i n t is that C o u n c i l gets

its way , w h a t e v e r it wan t s . G e t the

" r i g h t " p e o p l e o n , a n d y o u c a n

f o r c e I C U to b l o w g r e a t b i g

w o d g e s of c a s h o n v i r tua l l y a n y -

t h i n g y o u l i k e . T h u s , t h e r e is

a b s o l u t e l y N O c o n n e c t i o n

b e t w e e n ce r t a in new m e m b e r s o f

c o u n c i l this year , a n d I C U " d e c i d -

i n g " to s p e n d y o u r m o n e y o n

a d v e r t i s i n g the N U S m a r c h a g a i n s t

tu i t ion fees . O h n o .

A f t e r a l l , this p a r t i c u l a r ho r se

b o l t e d 18 m o n t h s a g o , so h o w

m u c h g o o d is it g o i n g to be to

m a r c h in to L o n d o n now, s h o u t i n g

" h e r e horsey h o r s e y " ? Let 's not

fo rge t that this m a r c h is b e i n g

o r g a n i s e d by the s a m e g r o u p

w h i c h h e l p e d Tony to u n l o c k that

very s t ab l e d o o r .

T h i n k i n g a b o u t it, t h o u g h , it 's

not that s u r p r i s i n g . D o u g T ra i ne r

w a s N U S p re s i den t b a c k t hen : a

p o s i t i o n p r e v i o u s l y o c c u p i e d by

J a c k St raw, S t even T w i g g , J i m M u r -

phy a n d L o r n a F i t z s i m m o n s . Just

l ike t h e m , he ' s u s i n g it as a s t ep-

p i n g s tone in to p a r l i a m e n t . The

on l y d i f f e r e n c e b e t w e e n h i m a n d

t h e m is that they v o t e d a g a i n s t

t u i t i on fees w h i l e s tuden t s , w a i t i n g

unt i l t hey w e r e in g o v e r n m e n t

b e f o r e b e c o m i n g h y p o c r i t i c a l a n d

t w o - f a c e d . I'm t e l l i n g y o u , T ra ine r

wi l l g o far.

A n d the m o r a l o f this story?

W h e n g r o u p s p u r p o r t i n g t o r e p r e -

sent s tuden ts start p l a y i n g in the

m u r k y w o r l d o f p o l i t i c s , they s o o n

sel l the i r c r ed ib i l i t y f o r a few c o i n s .

T h o s e m e m b e r s o f I C U C o u n c i l

w h o lust a f te r a m o r e po l i t i c a l

f o r u m s h o u l d l e a r n the l e s son of

S t raw a n d his m a t e s : A b a n d o n

m o r a l s , a l l ye w h o en te r he re .

RECRUITING NOW!

H E A L T H Y V O L U N T E E R S

V O L U N T E E R S WITH M I L D A S T H M A OR H A Y F E V E R

R E Q U I R E D FOR A FIBREOPTIC

B R O N C H O S C O P Y S T U D Y

The s t u d y i n v o l v e s t w o b r o n c h o s c o p i e s p e r f o r m e d at a o n e

w e e k i n t e r v a l . D u r i n g t h e i n t e r v e n i n g p e r i o d , s u b j e c t s w i l l

t a k e a n o r a l g l u c o c o r t i c o i d (steroid) in c u r r e n t c l i n i c a l us e or

a n i d e n t i c a l d u m m y (placebo) c o n t r o l .

B r o n c h o a l v e o l a r lavage w i l l be p e r f o r m e d a n d a m a x i m u m of

s i x b r o n c h i a l b i o p s i e s t a k e n d u r i n g e a c h b r o n c h o s c o p y .

The p u r p o s e of t h e s t u d y is t o i n v e s t i g a t e m e c h a n i s m s of

a c t i o n of o r a l g l u c o c o r t i c o i d s .

A n a p p r o p r i a t e h o n o u r a r i u m w i l l be p a i d in r e c o g n i t i o n of

t h e t i m e a n d i n c o n v e n i e n c e i n v o l v e d .

If i n t e r e s t e d , p leas e c o n t a c t :

DR S F S M I T H (0181 8 4 6 1 2 2 6 s u e . s m i t h @ i c . a c . u k ) OR

M R A M K A M A L (0181 8 4 6 7 1 7 3 a h m a d . k a m a l @ i c . a c . u k )

D E P A R T M E N T OF R E S P I R A T O R Y M E D I C I N E

C H A R I N G C R O S S C A M P U S

f o r f u r t h e r i n f o r m a t i o n A S A P

2 k x

FELIX S S I l I I S J

Mimm Stuff

-De. 1 1

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i M M M M MM f f i i j /V

: .M.;, M^M'M- ' 594 8072

M ' , , 111- 'he l ix

'•ail:

U n i o n M e d i a G r o u p a n d is

pr in ted at M C P L i tho L im i ted ,

Jn i ts B2 & B 3 , H a t t o n S q u a r e ,

16 - 1 6 a Ba ldw ins G a r d e n s ,

L o n d o n E C 1 N 7RJ

: e l ix is a reg i s te red n e w s p a p e r ;

I SSN 1 0 4 0 - 0 7 1 1

C o p y r i g h t i Felix 1 9 9 9 -

ISLAMOPHOBIA?

D e a r Sir,

Imag ine if Hi t ler had c l a i m e d to

be a Ch r i s t i an . Imag ine if he had

c l a i m e d that N a z i v iews a n d po lc ies

were Chr i s t r i an t each ings . W o u l d we

refer to h im (or other fascists) as

Chr i s t i an fundamenta l i s t s , fanat ics

o r extremists? A l m o s t certainly not

b e c a u s e we k n o w that fascist th ink-

ing g o e s a g a i n s t true C h r i s t i a n

t e a c h i n g a n d thus that his c l a ims to

be Chr i s t i an were fa lse .

So why is that Felix has d e c i d e d

to insult the s o m e 3 0 0 M u s l i m s tu-

dents a n d staff at IC by dec l a r i ng on

the front p a g e that i C U C o u n c i l

M e e t i n g is u n d e r threat f r om " I s l am-

i c " f u n d a m e n t a l i s t s ? T h e s e a n d

other w a c k o g roups may wel l be

" f u n d a m e n t a l i s t " , " e x t r e m e i s t " o r

" f a n a t i c a l " but the message they

convey is not Is lamic.

O f c o u r s e , wh i l e we m igh t

deserve a n a p o l o g y , we p robab l y

can ' t expect one . After a l l , the Run-

n y m e d e Trust in 1 9 9 7 pub l i shed a

d e t a i l e d repor t o n the e n d e m i c

nature of I s l a m o p b o b i a in the British

m e d i a a n d has set up a c o m m i s s i o n

to m o n i t o r it. Virtual ly a day goes by

without s o m e newspape r report of

s o m e d o d g y g r o u p c l a i m i n g to be

Is lamic w h o are then por t rayed as

such . H o l y w o o d f i lms such as True

Lies (which portray M u s l i m s as ter-

rorists) don ' t he lp m u c h either. The

a v e r a g e Br i ton's steoretype of a

M u s l i m is a n A r a b o r A s i a n b r a n d i n g

a ka l a shn ikov out to kill all the Jew-

ish p e o p l e they c a n f ind .

In fact, I s l a m a p h o b i a is not just

a British p h e n o m e n o n but a w o r l d -

w ide p r o b l e m . So m u c h so that it

has e n a b l e d p e o p l e l ike S o l b o d a n

M i l o s e v i c to exploi t pub l i c sent iment

by g a i n i n g p o p u l a r suppor t , in their

o w n country, for " e t h n i c " c l eans ing

of M u s l i m s in Bosn i a a n d K o s o v a .

W e n o w see Russian leaders explo i t-

ing their o w n c i t izens ' I s l a m a p h o b i a

in exactly the s a m e way to ga in s u p -

port fo r s l aughte r ing m o r e M u s l i m s

in C h e c h e n y a . These pract ices a re ,

of cou r se , very s imi la r to those used

by Hi t ler in G e r m a n y to g a i n p o p u -

lar suppor t for the persect ion of

Jews.

W h a t we c a n expect f r o m Felix,

however, is c l ea r repor t ing wh i ch

breaks d o w n stereotypes rather than

s t rengthening t hem. Islam is n o w the

s e c o n d most w ide ly prac t i sed re l i-

g i o n in Britain (and i ndeed the rest

of the wor ld ) . Fo l lowers c o m e f r om

al l wa lks of life a n d it is neither

f ana t i ca l no r exteremist. Its m e s -

s a g e , however, is often distorted by

s o m e p e o p l e c l a i m i n g to be M u s -

lims for their o w n pol i t i ca l ends

(especial ly w h e n a n ignoran t b o d y

of p e o p l e c a n be explo i ted) . I trust

that G a r e t h M o r g a n wi l l , in future,

m a k e a more app rop r i a t e c h o i c e of

w o r d s w h e n d e s c r i b i n g extremist

g r o u p s wh i ch c l a im to Is lamic but

convey a very different m e s s a g e .

Yours faithfully,

M u s t a f a Arif

ISE 1

WATERSTONES SURVEY

D e a r Felix,

I w o u l d like to start ano the r d i s-

cuss ion . Waters tones is a wonder fu l

s h o p wh i ch gets al l the b o o k s the

students n e e d a n d o n t ime t o o /

Waters tones is a terr ible s h o p wh i ch

gets mass ive a d v a n t a g e of be ing o n

c a m p u s a n d yet gives noth ing in

return.

[* De le te as a p p l i c a b l e . G a m e on.]

C h e e r s ,

Tasha ,

I C U President

CHRISTIAN U N I O N

D e a r Felix,

Fo l l ow ing last w e e k ' s front p a g e

art ic le, I w o u l d like to set the r e co rd

straight on the pos i t ion of the C h r i s -

t ian U n i o n towards m e m b e r s h i p of

Imperia l C o l l e g e U n i o n .

The Chr i s t i an U n i o n at Imperia l

C o l l e g e is entirely run by IC s tu-

dents, a n d is aff i l iated with C U s at

most other U K Universi t ies. W e are

f u n d e d entirely by o u r current a n d

f o r m e r m e m b e r s , a n d are o p e n to

al l m e m b e r s of IC - eve ryone is very

w e l c o m e to al l C U events.

The C U a ims to u p h o l d B ib l i ca l

Chr ist ianity , so it is essent ia l that this

is u ph e l d by the society off icers. For

this r e a s o n al l o u r off icers s ign a

wide ly a c c e p t e d d e c l a r a t i o n of fa i th,

wh i ch is why w e a re not currently a n

I C U society.

Peter M i d d l e t o n

Ch r i s t i an U n i o n President

VOICE O F REASON RETURNS

D e a r D a v e ,

Ha t i ng d i n g - d o n g battles o n the

letters p a g e as I d o , I'll be brief.

B r eakpo in t , this is my f ina l w o r d

before they na i l the lid b a c k d o w n

o n my cof f in . Firstly, the med i cs d id

read my c o l u m n , wh i ch is why so

m any of them t o o k o f fence . S e c o n d -

ly, the U n i o n fed m e remarkab l y lit-

tle in fo rmat ion- fa lse o r otherwise-

ove r the course of my t ime ; whi le

m e m b e r s of Sher f ie ld wil l s ing like

cana r i e s , gett ing juicy titbits out of

most o f I C U is m u c h less s imple .

Thirdly, my letter, if you reca l l , m e r e -

ly stated that at tacks o n the U n i o n

s h o u l d be unde r t aken caut iously , not

a v o i d e d entirely. For m e to c l a im

that the U n i o n s h o u l d no t be

a t tacked in Felix is a b o u t as bel iev-

ab l e as G e o r g e Best be ing a front-

m a n fo r A l c o h o l i c s A n o n y m o u s .

Finally, I have never been in the

pocke t o f any U n i o n of f i c ia l . I may

have got o n a m i c a b l y with severa l of

t h e m , but then I have h a d a pint with

Ian C a l d w e l l . Nuf f s a i d .

I shou ldn ' t real ly be wri t ing this.

It doesn ' t o f f end me , but it was a tad

w ide of the mark . Last w e e k ' s c o l -

u m n was very g o o d , t h o u g h if you

meet me d o w n Sou ths ide , I'll tell you

w h o the real f ront runner is fo r the

Rector 's job . H e e p s was c lose , but

the preferred c h o i c e is a little more

surpr is ing .

G o o d night a n d G o d bless

S i m o n Bake r

C h e m P G

The deadline for letters intended for publication is Wednesday 12 noon - drop into the porta-

cabins or email felix@ic.ac.uk. Letters may be edited for length but not grammar or spelling.

5 k 3

STUDENT BODIES

D e a r Editor,

W e were o f f ended by the art icle

in last week ' s In Brief o n p a g e two of

Felix. The au tho r sugges ted that no-

o n e at IC ' h a d it in t h e m ' w h e n

referr ing to the M a t h s c o u p l e c a u g h t

in f l agrante de l i c to in their l o cke r

r o o m .

D o e s the Editor not think it is

d e m e a n i n g to the students here at

IC to have their o w n student news-

p a p e r put t hem d o w n as u n a d v e n -

turous w h e n we a l r eady have to put

up with insults f r om the rest of the

country ' s student body ?

W e assure you that this is not a

solitary e x a m p l e a n d the maths c o u -

ple shou ld not be m a d e a spec tac le

of in a p a p e r with such a w ide a u d i -

ence .

M a y b e the Edi tor has hea rd of

coup l e s using such p l a ces as the

m a i n library, o r even the Sherf ie ld

bu i ld ing for uses o ther than those

the bu i ld ings were i n tended for ?

O b v i o u s l y not. A wa lk a r o u n d

c a m p u s may o p e n the Ed i tor ' s eyes

to the m o r e exc i t ing aspec t s of

Imperial C o l l e g e .

H a p p y hunt ing ,

R S M II

S H O P STRIFE

D e a r Sir,

It was interesting to be r e m i n d -

ed of this year ' s g r a d u a t i o n by the

a c c o u n t in Felix a few issues a g o

because as wel l as be ing the e d i -

tor 's g r a d u a t i o n , it was a l so my

f r iend 's . Imag ine h o w joyous this

o c c a s i o n is: the p r o u d fami ly l o o k -

ing o n , the p h o t o g r a p h s , the pres-

ents a n d the g r a d u a t i o n c a r d with

" c o n g r a t u l a t i o n s " i n s c r i b e d . N o t ,

however, if on e were to visit I C U

s h o p .

A week be fore g r a d u a t i o n , I

went to buy al l the a s s o c i a t e d m e m -

o r a b i l i a , i.e. t ies , t e d d i e s a n d

scarves to r emind the g r a d u a t e of

his past life at Imper ia l a l o n g with a

g r a d u a t i o n c a r d . Q u i t e a c o m m o n

o c c u r r e n c e , g r a d u a t i o n , espec ia l l y

at a c o l l e g e o n e might be l ead to

be l ieve but not o n e s ing le c a r d was

ava i l ab l e at the s h o p . After a s k i n g , I

was to ld they might be o r d e r e d but

the staff s e e m e d m o r e interested in

i gno r i ng the request for f ea r of stick-

ing m o r e pr ice tags o n t-shirts. O n

the M o n d a y be fore g r a d u a t i o n , I

was to ld the g r a d u a t i o n items w o u l d

be i n c l uded in stock a n d visited

a g a i n but to no ava i l but was to ld

sanctuary was a va i l ab l e o n the day

in the U n i o n with a little stal l . N o

such luck - it was only T-shirts a n d

m u g s .

H o w c a n a s imp le ca rd like

g r a d u a t i o n be omi t ted f r om stocks

at G r a d u a t i o n t ime? If I wan t ed to

buy a c a rd f r om I C U s h o p o n p r a c -

tical ly any other subject , I c o u l d d o

so , even if I wan t ed to m a k e i nde-

cent p roposa l s I c o u l d d o so f r om

the vast co l l ec t ion a v a i l a b l e ! Let

o ther IC students join in the c e l e b r a -

t ion of their pee r ' s exce l lence at

l eav ing Imperia l a n d not say, " O h ,

sorry, I C U s h o p cou ldn ' t be assed to

stock it "

Yours faithfully,

I C U Shop ' s best cus tomer

A N D FINALLY...

D e a r Felix

I w o u l d like to c o m m e n d you on

the improvemen t s m a d e within the

reviews p a g e s this year. The breadth

a n d dep th ac ross fhe w h o l e of the

mus i c , c l u b b i n g , f i lm , b o o k s a n d

arts wor ld is to be a p p l a u d e d . I

w o u l d espec ia l l y like to men t i on the

B la i r W i t ch feature a n d the diverse

c lub a n d art features that have f e a -

ture gay a n d fetish themes . I was

therefore a p p a l l e d w h e n I read the

s lat ing Felix rece ived in Prince A lber t

this week . N o t only were the insults

ill t hought out, but the text content

was worse than the ch i ld ish rants

that I have somet imes seen in the

C & G rag - G u i l d s h e e t . The writers

of this m a g a z i n e obv ious have a

n u m b e r of p rob l e m s , the first is

be ing happy to c o m e to an op in i o n

based on noth ing less than pre judice

a n d the s e c o n d is be ing obsessed

with rude words (very clever).

Yours with love

Ben J ames (not my real name)

M e d i c i n e 4

PS. P lease put my s leepless nights at

end - w h o is this a m a z i n g girl [see

editorial, 1156 ] . I've spent a l l last

week sea r ch ing fo r her.

All complaints should be addressed to the Editor. If no satisfactory

reply is received, contact ICU Exec via the Union President

Oof ©Li /cll^ L A T E N T M E D I A BIAS

First of a l l this w e e k , a m a s s i v e

a p o l o g y to M u s t a f a A r i f a n d a n y -

o n e e lse w h o f o u n d l as t w e e k ' s

f ron t p a g e l e a d to b e o f f e n s i v e .

M u s t a f a r a i s e s a n i n t e r e s t i ng p in t

t ha t a p p l i e s not just to s o - c a l l e d

" I s l a m i c " f u n d a m e n t a l i s t s but , o n

a b r o a d e r c a n v a s s , t o a n y f o r m

of s u p p o s e d l y r e l i g i o n - b a s e d

t e r r o r i s m o r e x t r e m i s m . A f t e r a l l ,

t o t h e best o f my k n o w l e d g e ,

t h e r e is n o m a j o r r e l i g i o n o n t h e

p l a n e t that a c t u a l l y c o n d o n e s (let

a l o n e a d v o c a t e s ) the m u r d e r of

o t h e r s ( n o n - b e l i e v e r s , s i n n e r s ,

wha teve r ) - a n d yet , t h r o u g h o u t

h istory , r e l i g i o n has b e e n the

c a u s e o f m o r e a n d b l o o d i e r w a r s

t h a n a n y t h i n g o r a n y o n e e l s e .

S o , (to ge t b a c k to the po in t )

b o t h myse l f a n d G a r e t h a p o l o -

g i s e un rese r ved l y . W e t e rm t h e m

" I s l a m i c " s i m p l y b e c a u s e they d o

so t h e m s e l v e s , not ou t of any

s e n s e o f a b u s e o r d i s c r i m i n a t i o n .

- i n d e e d the b i g g e s t p r o b l e m

wi th f i n d i n g a n a d e q u a t e t e r m i -

n o l o g y f o r these g r o u p s is the

f a c t tha t i t 's very h a r d to f i n d o u t

w h a t they d o b e l i e v e i n .

A s a f i n a l p o i n t , I d o t a k e the

s u g g e s t i o n tha t I a m I s l a m o p h o -

b i c ve ry p e r s o n a l l y , but I h o p e

this rep ly w i l l h e l p to c h a n g e

y o u r m i n d .

C A M P U

T h e v a r i o u s s h o p p i n g f a c i l i t i e s

o f f e r e d o n c a m p u s h a v e b e e n o n

my m i n d a lot this w e e k . O n the

o p p o s i t e p a g e y o u ' l l f i n d c o m -

men t s o n b o t h W a t e r s t o n e ' s a n d -

the I C U S h o p , a n d in v a r i o u s

d i s c u s s i o n s I've h a d w i th C o l l e g e

staff this w e e k , W a t e r s t o n e s a n d

' h e C o m p u t e r C e n t r e S h o p in

M e c h E n g h a v e b e e n f r e q u e n t

t o p i c s o f d e b a t e .

A l l o f t hese se r v i ces h a v e a

ve ry p o w e r f u l p o s i t i o n o n c a m -

p u s , p e r h a p s n o n e m o r e so t h a n

W a t e r s t o n e ' s . H a v i n g w o n a ve ry

p r e s t i g i o u s c o n t r a c t n e a r l y t h r ee

y e a r s a g o ( u s u r p i n g t h e o l d

U n i o n b o o k s t o r e ) , W a t e r s t o n c ' s

p r o m i s e d to e s t a b l i s h a w e l l

s t o c k e d , c o m p e t i t i v e a n d p ro f e s-

rv i ce t ha t w o u l d a c t as

n a l a c a d e m i c f l a g s h i p

o a n d a h a l f yea r s a f te r

o p e n e d , w h e r e d o w e

e l v e s ? W e l l , a s i d e f r o m

JS n o w b e e n u n c e r e m o -

u m p e d in f a v o u r o f o n e

e n o u g h b o o k s . N o w , l m sor ry ,

bu t it s e e m s to m e tha t if y o u ' r e

r u n n i n g a b o o k s t o r e o n a u n i v e r -

sity c a m p u s if m i g h t b e w i s e to

s t o c k su f f i c i en t q u a n t i t i e s of the

c o r e first y e a r text b o o k s , if n o t h -

i n g e l s e . It's p a t e n t l y o b v i o u s

tha t at l e a s t t h r e e - q u a r t e r s of the

n e w i n t a k e w i l l a l w a y s b u y at

l eas t o n e r e c o m m e n d e d b o o k

w i t h i n the f i rs t t w o w e e k s ( a n d

t h e n l e a v e it t o f e s t e r o n the she l f

unt i l they r e a l i s e , t h r e e y ea r s

la ter , t h a t they c a n ' t r e m e m b e r

the S e c o n d L a w o f T h e r m o d y -

n a m i c s a n y m o r e ) - so why, f o r

p i t y ' s P s a k e , d o e s W a t e r s t o n e ' s

s t o ck . O f c o u r s e , w h e t h e r o r n o t

f i l l i ng ha l f the s h o p w i th f i c t i o n

a n d t r a ve l t i t les h e l p s is d e b a t -

m i n i m u m o f a s e r v i c e that w e

s h o u l d e x p e c t . A g o o d c a m p u s

b o o k s t o r e w o u l d use i t ' s p u r -

c h a s i n g p o w e r (a f e w h u n d r e d

c o p i e s m i g h t n o t b e m u c h in f i c -

t i o n t e r m s , bu t in t e r m s of a c a -

d e m i c texts i t ' s h u g e ) t o n e g o t i -

a t e g o o d d i s c o u n t s a n d s e n s i b l e

s tuden t p r i c e s - m u c h l i ke the o l d

U n i o n B o o k s t o r e u s e d t o . It

( s h o c k , h o r r o r ) c o u l d a c t u a l l y

o f f e r s o m e h e l p f u l a d v i c e .

S o , n o w I've f i n i s h e d my

ran t , w h a t d o y o u a l l t h i n k ? O K ,

so the c o n t r a c t m i g h t no t b e u p

w h e r e w h e n i t ' s t i m e t o b u y the

next l u d i c r o u s l y o v e r - p r i c e d text

W a t e r s t o n e ' s , I 'm w a i t i n g f o r

' :::» •

%t V :

I P

fVfAY

WIN *50 CASH (COURTESY OF

OA A CRATE OF LAGER. FREE TO ENTER

THE ORIGINAL AND BEST

Y O U * UNION - RUNNING THE M H H H H H H N H

Wednesday 17th at 7pm B A R F R O M 5 p m

BlilgtoDDCa]

TUESDAY I M I;

F STA TRAVEL)

S c o t l a n d SCREENS

& e hall

1 BIG GAME 3 BIG SCPr

.... .. .^ . - - . Iw.>r^" ;

Si

«HS - Si

Ion - Pun for You

15 1999

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O h dear. W e ' r e only in the

sixth week of a thirty o n e

week year a n d the b a c k l a s h

a g a i n s t Fel ix has b e g u n

a g a i n . S a d l y f o r m e , the

reviews sec t ion a lways seems

to b a r e the brunt of this

abuse . However , insults such

as everything we review is

u n h e a r d of is just p l a i n

w r o n g . If the s landerers h a d

b o t h e r e d to e x a m i n e the

review p a g e s of Felix in recent

weeks they 'd have seen inter-

views, reviews a n d c o m p e t i -

tions invo lv ing s o m e of the

most m a i n s t r e a m artists in

mus i c , f i lms, art a n d b o o k s .

This week a g a i n sees a n o t h e r

s torming line- up . For a start

in the two fo l l ow ing c o l u m n s

we see reviews of the new

F o o F ighters a n d M a r i o h

C a r e y a l b u m s - a n d w h o c a n

c o m p l a i n a b o u t that?

... frequency...

ifs rubbish,

nobody reads it?

With the rest of this s p a c e I'd

like to m a k e a n o t h e r p l e a for

peop l e interested in wri t ing

mus i c art ic les fo r Felix. C l u b

writers a re espec ia l l y ha rd to

c o m e by a n d if a n y o n e is

interested in wri t ing in g o i n g

c l u b b i n g for free for the sma l l

e x c h a n g e of a short art ic le

a b o u t the night then I'd be

m o r e than h a p p y to have

you . If you ' re interested just

p o p a l o n g to the Felix Por ta-

cab ins for ou r mus i c mee t ings

at 1 2 . 3 0 p m on Tuesdays a n d

we ' l l sort it out.

Foo Fighters

There Is Nothing Left To Lose

(Roswell/RCA)

W h a t h a v e y o u r h e r o e s b e e n ? A c t o r s ? P o l i t i c i a n s ? S p o r t s m e n a n d

s p o r t s w o m e n ? O u t s t a n d i n g sc ien t i s t s a n d b u s i n e s s m e n ? Ba l l s t o a l l

tha t . M y h e r o e s h a v e a l w a y s b e e n m u s i c i a n s . N o t y o u r p o n c y l a c k of

s u b s t a n c e b o y b a n d s o r t h o s e m o r e t h a n use l e s s o n e - h i t - w o n d e r s ,

bu t p r o p e r k i ck-ass don ' t -g i ve-a-sh i t s t a r s : J i m m y P a g e , Kur t C o b a i n ,

J im i H e n d r i x , F l e a - a l l t h o s e wi th a p r e s e n c e a n d a t t i t u d e . T h e F o o

F i g h t e r s ' D a v e G r o h l is u p the r e t o o - he's g o t to b e . F r o m p o w e r -

h o u s e d r u m m i n g w i th y o u - k n o w - w h o , to l a y i n g d o w n the F o o F i gh t-

ers' 1 9 9 5 d e b u t a l o n e , he's m o r e t h a n just a s l i gh t l y m o t i v a t e d b l o k e .

Th i s la tes t o f f e r i n g f r o m the F o o s is m o r e of that d r i v e n p o w e r p o p

that they 've m a d e the i r o w n .

I r e a d s o m e w h e r e tha t the F o o F igh te r s m i s s e d the m a r k wi th The re

Is Nothing Left To Lose b e c a u s e i f s t o o u p b e a t to b e g r u n g e . C a n w e

p l e a s e set the r e c o r d s t r a i gh t : T H E R E IS N O S U C H T H I N G A S

G R U N G E . I nven ted to c r e a t e a n i c h e a n d se l l r e c o r d s ; 'nuff s a i d . A n d

n o , this a l b u m isn't tha t Sea t t l e s o u n d tha t s e r v e d D a v e G r o h l so w e l l

in the pas t - I'm su re he d o e s n ' t w a n t it t o b e .

W e k i ck off as w e m e a n to g o o n wi th the h u g e c h o r u s of S t a c k e d

Actors. I h a d this o n my W a l k m a n a n d e n d e d up d a n c i n g a l o n g the

street l i ke a l u n a t i c , a su re s i g n of a p r e m i u m t u n e . T h e d r u m s p l a y

a l a r g e pa r t in the F o o F igh te rs ' s o u n d , p o s s i b l y b e c a u s e that 's w h a t

D a v e G r o h l s t a r t ed w i t h , but I a l w a y s f i n d the d r u m l i n e s a r e tha t l it-

t le bit m o r e i n v o l v i n g a n d s u b s e q u e n t l y the s o n g s a r e g i v e n a g r e a t e r

d e p t h . That ' s no t t o say a n y o t h e r pa r t o f the t r a c k is n e g l e c t e d ; the

g u i t a r s h a v e a d i s t i n c t i v e w a r m , fuzzy o v e r d r i v e a n d in D a v e G r o h l ' s

v o i c e there ' s a h a r s h e d g e to the soft g e n t l e n e s s as d e m o n s t r a t e d to

g o o d e f fec t o n Live-In Skin.

T h e r e a r e so m a n y t r a c k s w o r t h y of b e i n g s i n g l e s o n T h e r e Is... I'm

s u r p r i s e d t he r e we ren ' t t w o a l b u m s r e l e a s e d . T h e r e rea l l y isn't a n y

f i l ler . Generator h a s a g r e a t T a l k b o x ef fect o n l e a d gu i t a r , Next Year

is a s u p e r b s o n g to l e a d us in to Autumn w i th i f s wis t fu l lyr ics a n d

A u r o r a is in a s i m i l a r c a v e r n o u s v e i n t o February Stars.

T h e F o o F igh te r s h a v e b r o u g h t us a b e a u t i f u l t h i rd a l b u m , a m o r e

p o p p y s o u n d but a r o u n d e d o n e t o o . They ' l l b e a r o u n d f o r a w h i l e

yet , bu t I w o u l d n ' t e x p e c t a n y less f r o m a m a n w h o has the b a n d ' s

l o g o t a t t o o e d o n the b a c k of his n e c k .

Marian Carey

Rainbow

(Columbia)

O h , M a r i a h , M a r i a h , M a r i a h . Back so

s o o n ? I'm not genera l ly of the s choo l of

thought that thinks that if anything is p o p u -

lar it must by def init ion be b a d , but I heard

a n interesting statistic the other day that

has started to c h a n g e my m i n d . It was that

M a r i a h C a r e y is the best sel l ing fema le

artist of the 1 9 9 0 s , has so ld over 1 1 5 m i l -

l ion a l b u m s . I m e a n , w h o bought these

a l bums? W h e r e are they a n d why are they

still a l l owed their statutory rights?

That M s C a r e y shou ld outsell M a d o n n a ,

Whi tney Hous ton o r even her musica l

nemesis C e l i n e D i o n is unbe l ievab le . I

admi t that in the past she has re leased

s o m e fairly g o o d singles, notably H e r o , (7/

Be There a n d . . .er. . .anyway, she c a n cer-

tainly Sing (she's a voca l r ange of 8 octaves

you know). F ine, but the point is, shou ld we

buy this a l b u m for mus ica l p leasure or

because it is ab l e to c o m m u n i c a t e within

the hear ing range of next door 's d o g ?

Ra inbow sees M a r i a h co l l abo ra t i ng with

many R 'n' B superstars but this is not an

a l b u m for R 'n' B fans. The first track Heart

Broker begins in typical M a r i a h style with

all the usual voca l ac robat i cs but then we

get a somewha t unexpected rap interlude

halfway th rough . Finally, it's back to M a r i -

a h . It really just doesn't work . She shou ld

stick to her ep ic ba l l ads - they at least suit

her style. The persona l a n d understated

me lody of Petals is the nearest she gets to

this but the rest, I'm a f ra id , just bo red me .

She may be trying to move with the times

but ifs doubtfu l if all the mi l l ions w h o (for

whatever reason) love her, will want to

move with her.

• Christian Rachael

5 c

y

Mere

Mere

ICJ

It's the vo i ce . U n i q u e , inst inctu-

a l , lively, but most of al l it's fear-

less. M e r z ( C o n r a d Lambert)

has a wonder fu l array of tunes ,

but instead of mess ing them

a r o u n d in o rde r to m a k e it

interest ing, they're innovat ive ly

embe l l i shed to g o r g e o u s effect.

This m e a n s you ' re g o i n g to

hear a b u n c h of th ings you

don ' t a lways get f r o m y o u r

usual p o p a l b u m . Lotus beg ins

with a brass b a n d p i ck i ng out a

lone ly tune , be fo re c o m p u t -

er ised b reakbea t s p ick up the

t e m p o , f o l l owed by that v o i c e .

The gospe l cho i r in C C C o n -

sc ious gives way to chunky per-

cuss i on , sque lchy bass a n d a

keen ing v o c a l . A l t h o u g h these

are seeming l y d i spa ra t e a n d

c o n t r a s t i n g e l e m e n t s , every

s o n g sounds incred ib ly c o h e -

sive.

This a l b u m sounds so o r i g i na l

a n d a l i ve . M u s i c has recently

been f ind ing new a n d exc i t ing

ways to diversify a n d m e r g e ,

but never to such joyful extent

as it d o e s here . Everything f r o m

t e c h n o , d r u m 'n' bass , fo lk , jazz,

e lec t ro , i n d i e . . . (the list c o u l d

g o o n forever) is a b s o r b e d a n d

fearlessly i m p l e m e n t e d to c re-

ate s o m e t h i n g un ique . But best

of a l l , the tunes are g o o d . N o t

just g o o d , fantast ic . I ndeed ,

there's a w h o l e new w o r l d out

there. Let M e r z into you r life.

Rage Against The Machine

The Battle of LA.

(Epic)

R A A A A A A A A A A A A G E ! S o m e h o w , these boys a re still ang r y af ter

th ree a l b u m s . W h i c h m a k e s m e h a p p y - as it w o u l d have b e e n a l i t o o

easy f o r R a g e to sel l out - b e c o m e a l l pos t rock a n d n o n - a b r a s i v e .

But they still rock .

If you d idn ' t l ike R a g e b e f o r e , this a l b u m won ' t e n d e a r t h e m to you in

any s p e c i a l n e w way. But if, l ike m e , you l o v e d to l isten to a b a n d with

a bit of integr i ty ra the r t han the u s u a l m o n e y g r a b b i n g l a y a b o u t s then

this wi l l be r ight up y o u r street. The t rack l ist ing says it a l l rea l ly -

Calm A s B o m b , Vo i c e O f The Voiceless, Born As Ghosts a n d Broken

Man b e i n g s o m e of the m o r e m e l l o w t it les. But it rea l ly isn't a b o u t the

t i t les, it's a l l a b o u t the d e p t h of rea l e m o t i o n that g o e s into these

s o n g s - the way they s m a c k you in the f a c e a n d m a k e you th ink wh i l e

ge t t ing you m o s h i n g r o u n d the r o o m as we l l . I defy a n y o n e to l isten

to Sleep Now In The Fire o n ful l v o l u m e a n d not end up b o u n c i n g off

the w a l l s .

The r e a s o n they a r e still the s a m e af ter a l l these years is that the sys-

tems that they we re o r i g i n a l l y p ro tes t ing a g a i n s t still exists. Further, as

f a r as Rage a re c o n c e r n e d , in m a n y cases these systems h a v e

b e c o m e e ven m o r e ex t r eme a n d unjust . W e s h o u l d be a l i this angry .

But this isn't a po l i t i c a l f o r u m , so o n with the c r i t i que . A f te r l i s ten ing

to this a l b u m a c o u p l e of t i m e s , mos t U S (and US i n f l uenced ) r o ck

b a n d s s o u n d e d h o p e l e s s l y w e e d y a n d a p a t h e t i c . I s u p p o s e not every-

o n e wan ts to be m a d e to th ink wh i l e r o c k i n g out , but I th ink it's very

r e f r e sh ing to h e a r it - even if y o u don ' t s u b s c r i b e to the i r s t ance .

The s a m e r o c k / f u n k / i n d u s t r i a l / r a p style is very m u c h in e v i d e n c e ,

a n d the re ' s s o m e spa rks of r e g g a e (yes, that's r e g g a e ) , e l e c t r o n i c a

(as the yanks w o u l d te rm it) a n d e ven fo lky f l a vou r s t o o . O f c o u r s e

the re ' s still p lenty of g r u n t i n g a n d w a i l i n g . A s v o i c e s g o , Z a c k de la

Rocha ' s ce r ta in l y has a lot of f e e l i n g . W h i l e he rare ly ' s i n g s ' , I don ' t

th ink that m a n y p e o p l e at Rage g i g s fa i l to u n d e r s t a n d the e m o t i o n s

i n v o l v e d in his r ap/ r an t style of o r a t i n g .

I th ink the w o r l d w o u l d be a bet ter p l a c e with a few m o r e b a n d s l ike

Rage A g a i n s t the M a c h i n e . A few m o r e that q u e s t i o n the soc ie ty that

they a re in - ra the r t han s i n g i n g a b o u t h o w f ine M i c k y is, o r that they

a re g o i n g to b l a m e eve ry th ing o n the w e a t h e r m a n . M o r e of the s a m e

- but w h e n it 's this g rea t , w h o c a r e s ?

Cat Stevens

Remeber

(Island)

T h e C a t ' s h i p p i e b a c k c a t a l o g u e has

b e e n r a i d e d by n u m e r o u s ar t is tes of

l a t e , w i th c o v e r s of Wild World a n d

Father and Son a m o n g a s h e d l o a d of

t r a c k s that h a v e b e e n r e s u r r e c t e d by

p o p u l a r m o d e r n b e a t c o m b o s . A s a

resul t y o u c a n h e a r his stuff o n R a d i o 2

as w e l l as R a d i o 1 , w h i c h is k i n d of a n

a c h i e v e m e n t .

C a t isn't his r ea l n a m e of c o u r s e , a n d

isn't e v en his n a m e now . H e g o t in to

r e l i g i o n in a b i g w a y a f te r a n e a r d e a t h

e x p e r i e n c e type t h i n g , a n d c h a n g e d his

n a m e to Yusuf i s l a m (n ice ) . W h i c h r e l i -

g i o n he f o u n d e s c a p e s m e fo r the

m o m e n t . . . He ' s t u r n e d his b a c k o n the

w h o l e p o p s ta r t h a n g , so the r e is n o

n e w m a t e r i a l o n this c o l l e c t i o n - but I

d a r e s a y at fifty o n e he stil l d o e s n ' t m i n d

the r o y a l t i e s . . .

T i m e hasn ' t d i m m e d the t e n d e r a p p e a l

of m o s t of the twenty f o u r ( coun t 'em)

m u s i c a l g e m s c o n t a i n e d o n this c o m p i -

l a t i o n . Buy it f o r y o u r m u m o r d a d this

C h r i s t m a s . Y o u m a y h a v e a j ob f i n d i n g

it, c o s you ' l l b e e m b a r r a s s e d a s k i n g the

gir l w i th p i e r c e d bits at the c o u n t e r in

H M V . Try l o o k i n g u n d e r ' r o c k ' o r ' p o p '

o r m a y b e e v e n ' f o l k ' o r ' ( ch ) easy l i s-

t e n i n g ' . Be t te r s t i l l , y o u c o u l d wa i t unt i l

the s a l e s a n d r u m m a g e in the less t h a n

f i ve q u i d b a r g a i n b u c k e t s . T h e n if y o u

d o ge t a c o p y m a k e su r e you l i s ten to

the l y r i cs .

C h o o s e l o n g hair . C h o o s e a b e a r d .

C h o o s e a f u n n y o l d m a n c a l l e d C a t

S t e vens . Enjoy.

• Kunal ID Joel Ian

c 5

Little Mothers

Title

(Island)

S o n g titles such as The Worry,

Bad to Worse a n d Moody s u g -

gested a slightly d o w n b e a t feel

might hang abou t this a l b u m .

Likewise, the maud l i n sleeve shot

of the four unsmi l ing lads nes-

t led a m o n g s t a dep re s s i n g l y

empty furniture sale imp l i ed a

R a d i o h e a d - e s q u e o f fe r ing of

d o o m a n d despair . A n d in fact , if

you listen to what they're say ing

on the tracks, this is pretty m u c h

what you get. Subject matter

includes a badly fa i led re la t ion-

ship with a mate's little sister,

depress ion over other similarly

fated re lat ionships, a n d cynic ism

abou t . . . we l l . . . b roken re la t ion-

ships. H m m . N o t o n e to play if

you have any doubts abou t your

ability to ho ld d o w n a steady

gir l/boyfr iend.

H av i ng sa id this, The Little M o t h -

ers' ou t look on life never d id the

great b lues music ians any h a r m

(or R a d i o h e a d , for that matter),

and there are a c o u p l e of g e n -

uinely g o o d t racks o n this

a l b u m ; If Love's What You Want

being perhaps the best examp le

- a n a c o u s t i c tune a b o u t . . .

guess what? Lyrics a s ide , the

mus ica l a r r angement m a k e this

a g o o d record for late at night -

just m a k e sure you haven't eaten

cheese as wel l , o r w h e n you

w a k e u p your d r e a m s will have

turned you into a shiver ing n e u -

rotic pile of rubble . O u c h .

Counting Crows

This Desert Life

(Geffen/PAL)

E v e r y o n e has l i s t ened to the C r o w s ' first a l b u m - August and Every-

thing After - wh i l s t not so m a n y h a v e h e a r d the i r s e c o n d - Recover-

ing the Satellites. Th i s is d u e to the fac t that A u g u s t is r e g a r d e d as

a c l a s s i c wh i l s t Satellites is not . E v e r y o n e k n o w s the s o n g s R o u n d

H e r e a n d Mr Jones but f e w e r p e o p l e w o u l d be a b l e to n a m e any

s o n g s f r o m Satellites. T h e s t r a n g e th ing a b o u t this is that a n y rev iews

(both c r i t i c a l a n d p o p u l a r ) of Satellites that y o u r e a d c r ed i t it as a

wo r thy s e q u e l to the b a n d s first a l b u m .

This Desert Life has b e e n in my s t e r eo n o n - s t o p s i n c e I r e c e i v e d it

d u e to the s i m p l e f ac t that it is exce l l en t . A d a m Dur i tz 's v o c a l s c o n -

t i n u e in the i r d e s p a i r wh i l s t the m u s i c c o n t i n u e s to r o ck in the ch i l l

o u t m a n n e r to w h i c h w e h a v e b e c o m e a c c u s t o m e d . I can ' t f i nd o n e

b a d t r a ck o n the w h o l e a l b u m - but I c a n f i nd a n u m b e r that I just

h a v e t o c o m m e n t o n .

Hanginaround o p e n s the a l b u m with a b o u n c e a n d v i g o u r that wi l l

h a v e y o u s i n g i n g a l o n g a n d m o v i n g y o u r b o d y in ways that y o u

k n o w a r e e m b a r r a s s i n g but that y o u just can ' t s t o p . All My Friends is

b o t h o n e of the best t h i ngs they 've d o n e a n d a c l a s s i c m e l l o w e d ou t

t u n e of d e s p a i r . Highlife b r i ngs t o g e t h e r a s t e l l a r a r r a n g e m e n t wi th

pe r f ec t l y v o i c e d lyr ics . F ina l l y / Wish I Was A Girl is just a r i d i c u l o u s l y

c a t c h y tune e ven if it d o e s g o o n f o r h o u r s .

O n e t h i n g I d i d n o t i c e h o w e v e r is that the re a re a c o u p l e of t r a cks

w h i c h s e e m to h a v e b e e n h e a v i l y i n f l u e n c e d by B e n F o l d s F i ve . B o t h

M r s Potters Lullaby a n d Colourblind rea l l y c o u l d h a v e b e e n wr i t ten

by B e n F o l d s - but the s t r a n g e (and great ) t h i n g is that they w o u l d

b o t h ( e s p e c i a l l y Colourblind) be a m o n g the best t r a cks o n the a l b u m

a n d a c t u a l l y s o u n d bet te r w i th Dur i tz 's v o c a l s .

It's p o s s i b l e that as in All My Friends "A l l my f r i ends a n d love rs l e a v e

m e a l o n e to try a n d h a v e a little f u n " but I r ea l l y w o u l d n ' t m i n d if I

h a d this to l isten to o n my s t e r eo . O r at least I w o u l d n ' t a p a r t f r o m

the f a c t tha t I r ea l l y w a n t to g o to that par ty o n F r iday n i g h t . . .

If y o u d i d n ' t l i k e August (or Satellites] t h e n y o u p r o b a b l y w o n ' t l i ke

this e i ther , but if l ike m e y o u l o v e d t h e m , t hen y o u r m o n e y s h o u l d

a l r e a d y be o u t o n the r e c o r d s h o p s coun te r . This D e s e r t Life is a n

a l b u m that o n l y the tas te less s h o u l d m iss .

H H H H H H B

^^^^

Royal Trux

Veterans of Disorder

(Domino)

T h e m u s i c a l l a n d s c a p e at the e n d of

the 9 0 ' s is p l a g u e d by i rony . M o s t of

o u r p o p s ta r s a r e s u f f i c i e n t l y w e l l

t r a i n e d to t a lk the ta lk c o m p l e t e wi th a

p h o t o g e n i c s m i l e / g r i m a c e / l o o k of

c o n t e m p t u o u s a l o o f n e s s , p l a s t e r e d

u p o n the i r s m u g f a c e s . In this c l i m a t e ,

p r a i s e the f a l l e n a n g e l f o r b a n d s l ike

the Roya l Trux w h o a r e p r e p a r e d to

b e l i e v e in r o c k ' n ' ro l l as no t just a

b a d g e but as a w a y of l i f e . T h e two

m a i n Trux, N e i l H a g e r t y a n d J e n n i f e r

H e r r e m a , l i ve a n o t o r i o u s l y n a r c o t i c

e x i s t e n c e a n d o v e r the p a s t d e c a d e o r

so they h a v e put o u t a s t r i ng o f r e c o r d s

d u b b e d by m a n y as u n l i s t e n a b l e a n d

s h a m b o l i c .

' V e t e r ans o f D i s o r d e r 1 is r o c k ' n ' ro l l in

the t rues t s e n s e of t ha t m u c h m a l i g n e d

w o r d . T h e first ha l f of V O D sees Trux

d r a w l a n d s n a r l t he i r w a y t h r o u g h a

c l u t c h of g l o r i o u s l y f u c k e d u p , r aw a n d

dir ty m i n i m a s t e r p i e c e s , eve ry o n e suf-

f u s e d w i th the k i n d o f s w a g g e r a n d

a t t i t ude i d e n t i f i a b l e a s the r e a l d e a l . A s

t ime p r o g r e s s e s w e r e a c h Lunch Money

in w h i c h the Trux ge t a bit a t o n a l a n d

e x p e r i m e n t a l o n o u r a s s e s , bu t e v e n

the m o s t d i m r ight w i n g e r w o u l d f i nd it

h a r d n o t to s e e t h e b e a u t y in the

s q u a w k i n g r a c k e t . W e h a v e n o w

r e a c h e d the p o i n t at w h i c h t h i n g s start

to se l f -des t ruc t . T h e a l b u m c o u l d h a v e

d o n e w i t h o u t a t ee th g r i n d i n g l y self-

i n d u l g e n t s e v e n - m i n u t e g u i t a r s o l o

f i n a l e w h i c h is Sickass Dog, but in the

w a k e of s u c h a j o y o u s , u n h o l y (and

yes , s h a m b o l i c ) p i e c e of r o c k ' n ' ro l l

this s e e m s l ike a m i n o r c o m p l a i n t .

• Mart Tim • The Masked Bandit

5 c

frequency > A Bob Marley feat. Lauryn Hill Beck

Turn Your b'ghis Down Low Sexxlaws

(Columbia) (Geffen)

T h e g r a n d d a d d y o f

g a n j g r e e t s us o n c e

m o r e f r o m b e y o n d the

g r a v e , v i a a Lauryn H i l l

c o v e r / r e m i x . It's a c l a s -

sic t u n e , with a love l y

s i m p l e gu i t a r , w a s t e d

o n Hi l l ' s R&B k e y b o a r d

d e m o r e m i x . T h e n

a g a i n , at l eas t she has

the taste to p i c k s o m e -

t h i n g tasty a n d k e e p

t rue to the v i b e , un l i k e

the run-of- the-mi l l h ip-

p o p d r o s s w h i c h

p l a g u e s o u r char t s

Beck was d i a g n o s e d at four teen as

c h r o n i c a l l y u n a b l e to re lease a w e a k

s i ng l e , a n d so far n o cure has been

f o u n d . Sexxlaws is the latest a n d

most mul t i- faceted of his s y m p t o m s .

B a c k i n g up the usua l fa re of lyrics

c a t c h i e r a n d m o r e n o n s e n s i c a l than /

Am The Walrus, we f ind that Mr.

H a n s e n ' s e x t r a o r d i n a r i l y p o l i s h e d

p r o d u c t i o n spawns the most in fec-

t ious d a n c i n g r e co rd of 1 9 9 9 .

Blackalicious

Deception

(Mo Wax)

M y s i n g l e of the w e e k ! T h e s i m p l e

story has a t a l e n t e d M C w h o loses

the p l o t (Pt. 1, Don't Let Money

Change Ya), g o e s t h r o u g h he l l (Pt.

2 , Tu rmo i l ) , a n d has to r e d i s c o v e r

his roots (Pt. 3, Redemption) T racks

1 a n d 3 h a v e this k ick-ass s u n g

re f ra in w h i c h h o o k s y o u l i ke c r a c k ,

a n d the rest of the t u n a g e is just

s o o o d a r k ! E n o u g h s a i d .

•

Woodbine

Mound of Venus

(Domino)

Sure l y a f t e r just h e a r i n g

the n a m e , a n y t h i n g o n

this C D has to be a n

a n t i c l i m a x ! But W o o d -

b i n e left m e wr i t h i ng o n

the f l o o r in p l e a s u r e

a n d a g o n y . P l e a s u r e at

the s h e e r l e s b i a n s h o w -

er m u s i c of it a n d

a g o n y , w e l l , m i l d

e m b a r r a s s m e n t at

w o r d s l ike ' m o u n d of

V e n u s , a sk m e to p l a y ' ,

a n d ' don ' t g o to b e d

w i th s o m e wet h e a d

w h o s e n a m e is F r e d ' .

Thunderbugs

It's About Time You...

(Epic)

It's the b a n d with the

l e a d s i nge r w h o th inks

she's seduc t i ve b e c a u s e

she's w e a r i n g in te l l e c tu-

a l g l a sses . The f o l l o w

up to the m i n d b u r r o w -

ing Friends Forever is

t r a g i c ; it e v e n h a s

b a c k i n g v o c a l s o f

' d o o p d o o ' . P l ease .

I

Robbie Williams

She's The One / It's Only Us

(EMI)

This is n o t h i n g but a m o n e y - s p i n n e r

f r o m the boy wonde r . N o mat ter

h o w g o o d She's The One is, a n d it is

truly beau t i f u l , e ve r yone a l r e a d y has

the a l b u m . S o he's l u m p e d it

t o g e t h e r with It's Only Us, p r e s u m -

ab ly to be t aken f r o m the third

a l b u m . A l t h o u g h it's f r o m the s a m e

t e a m as Old Before I Die a n d Let Me

Entertain You, it c lear l y isn't as g o o d .

The result is a p a c k a g e of two

s o n g s , the theory b e i n g two ha lves

m a k e a w h o l e .

Puff Daddy

Best Friend

(Arista)

W h e n a m a n with a bo t tom lip w o r -

thy of a r a m p o n Tony Hawk's Skate-

board Challenge a n d the mus i c a l

t a l en t of a p e a n u t m a n a g e s to

e n g a g e Jenni fer Lopez , you k n o w he

must be d o i n g s o m e t h i n g r ight, but

this is not it. This s o n g is al l a b o u t

his f r i e n d s h i p wi th G o d , a n d

a l t h o u g h that's a d m i r a b l e , it's not

m u c h of a c o m p l i m e n t ; i m a g i n e h o w

a n n o y e d you 'd be if your g i r l f r iend

b o u g h t you a token of her love for

you a n d g a v e her s o m e used socks .

Shack

Pull Together

(Sony)

Wi th a hur r i ed verse ,

the c h o r u s c o m b i n e s

the f o r m u l a of b o t h

S p i r i t u a l i z e d a n d

E m b r a c e , m a d e e p i c

a n d l o u d with a lot of

h a r m o n i e s . They even

m a n a g e to pul l it off,

but sadly , they a re l a c k -

ing the c h a r a c t e r a n d

ind iv idua l i t y they n e e d

to g a i n credibi l i ty .

.Singles reviews by

Dave & Kier...

an

c x

frequency N A

Montel Jordan

Get It On

(Def Jam)

F r o m the m a n that g a v e us

This H o w W e D o It, this n e w

re l e a se f r o m M o n t e l l wi l l

not su rp r i se any of his f a n s .

The first s e c t i o n c o m p r i s e s

of s o m e p h a t t unes a s s o c i -

a t ed with M o n t e l l . C h e c k

ou t the t rack G e t It Tonight.

This wi l l c e r t a i n l y be b i g in

the c l u b s . The hits just k e e p

o n c o m i n g f r o m Everybody

(Get Down) to the futur is t i-

ca l l y s o u n d i n g Can't Get

Enough. T h e s e c o n d ha l f

s l o w s d o w n the b e a t t o

m o r e s o u l f u l t r acks o o z i n g

sensua l i t y . T h a t s a i d qu i t e a

few t r a cks in this s e c t i o n a r e

c o n c e r n e d w i th u n c e r t a i n

r e l a t i o n s h i p s . D e s p i t e th is ,

there a r e s o m e s o n g s f o r a

g o o d b u m p a n d g r i n d .

Tracks w o r t h l i s t en i ng to a r e

Let's Cuddle Up a n d the

very s e n s u a l D o Y o u ? M o n -

tell a l s o d o e s a very g o o d

c o v e r of the c l a s s i c Ph i !

C o l l i n s t r a c k Against Al!

Odds.

The s o n g O n c e Upon A

Time has a S p a n i s h i n f l u -

e n c e , to the po in t w h e r e the

s e c o n d v e r s i o n is in S p a n -

ish . N o t b a d !

O v e r a l l , a very g o o d a l b u m

that s h o u l d h a v e a p o s i t i o n

in y o u r m u s i c a l c o l l e c t i o n .

O r

Chill, it's Will, Keepin' it

Real and if s Mil

using the skill to kill

What 's up IC! We're g o n n a run th rough the latest news a n d have a qu ick

g l ance at the singles that are d o i n g it, but first up I'm g o n n a have a ser ious

m o a n a b o u t the state of the U K scene.

The p r o b l e m with the U K scene is that there are no p rob lems with the U K

scene , it's really pe r fo rming at the minute. S o m e of the tunes that are be ing

re leased are actual ly g o o d e n o u g h to b low away the so-ca l led or ig inators

of R&B, the A m e r i c a n s . The British stuff that's be ing re leased has a vibe a n d

a gloss that is as g o o d as anything they cou ld br ing out, but then why is

British R&B still l o o k e d at in a negat ive way. So many peop l e refuse to

bel ieve that Beverly Knight's a l b u m c o u l d stand on the same level as a M a r y

J a l b u m ; I'm sorry but it c a n . In fact the thing's got more b o u n c e than Mary 's

by a g o o d mi le . So what's the p r o b l e m ? People are h o o k e d up on the a

belief that the phattest stuff c a n only c o m e f rom the States. . . well p eop l e

better recogn ise , U K R&B is mov ing up on the right side a n d we all better

c o m e correct.

The Sp ice G i r l s have m a d e b reak ing up the latest thing to d o , fo l l ow ing on

f rom them and the so-ca l l ed dis integrat ion of Blackstreet, we have A n o t h -

er Level. It seems that on e of the boys thinks he'll d o better on his own a n d

is ready to hit the r o a d . It's been con f i rmed that W a y n e , the b lack guy, you

know, the on e w h o c a n s ing , is g o n n a be b reak ing up with his budd ies and

d o his o w n thang . He's g o n n a finish off all his duties with Ano the r Level with

their current hit " Bombd iggy " before e m b a r k i n g on what he hopes is g o i n g

to be a fruitful so lo career. The rest of the boys gotta be h o p i n g he fucks

up , but s o m e h o w I doub t it, because he's a l ready got the master d o n p r o -

duce r l ined up to start work on his a l b u m . . . no not fuck ing Puff D a d d y . . .

the Da rkch i l d Rodney Jerkins is supposed ly wil l ing to d o produc t ion duties

for Wayne .

After the B o b Ma r l e y duet with the multi-talented Miss Hil l it seems on e of

the biggest stars of rap is g o n n a be m a k i n g his presence felt f rom beyond

the grave . Biggie's back ! The m a n is we igh ing in with another post death

a l b u m . Like Tupac it seems that there is no limit to the records that can be

pul led out of the b a g , not that that's a b a d th ing. In the past, I've g o n e on

a b o u t the n u m b e r on guests that turn up on people 's a l bums , well the new

B iggie a l b u m , "Born A g a i n " , has got m o r e b ig n a m e stars than the Ho l l y-

w o o d . Puff Daddy , Li!1 K i m , 2 P a c , Busta Rhymes, S n o o p D o g g , M o b b D e e p ,

E m i n e m , M e t h o d M a n , R e d m a n , Missy 'M i sdemeanor ' Elliot, Ice C u b e , DJ

Premier, C l a r k Kent a n d anyone else you can think of, they're all there. The

first s ingle " D e a d W r o n g " has a l ready been d o i n g the rounds on import .

M i l e n

IIS

1 Will Smith

(Columbia)

The m a n in b lack is b a c k with this e g o m a n i -

aca l l y titled new a l b u m . This f o l l ow up to Big

Willie Style is a co l l e c t i on of funk a n d 80's

g roove- insp i red tunes that are g u a r an t eed to

pack the d a n c e f l o o r ( though not al l the

tracks c a n d o this). O n e th ing that c o m e s

d e a r is the definite o l d s koo l f lava to the

w h o l e a l b u m . Tracks on this a l b u m feature

quite a few guys: K-C i , Lit1 K i m , Slick Rick,

K o o l M o D e e , Dru H i l l , his wife J a d a Pinkett

Smith a n d even the first l ady of the ruff

ryders, Eve. Jazzie Jeff is back with the

scra tch ing he is ab l e to d o we l l . (Half of track

8 is Jazzie r ipp ing it up with s o m e d o p e

scratching) .

The first c o u p l e of tracks are your party jams

(the ones mean t to p a c k the f loor) . F rom the

first s ing le Will 2K currently on gene ra l

re lease n o w with a s l a m m i n g v i deo , to the

Latino La Fiesta (everyone is g o i n g Spanish) ,

these songs will keep you m o v i n g to the beat.

Afro Angel s lows th ings d o w n just a little with

J a d a lay ing d o w n s o m e s p o k e n w o r d . The

real ' o l d s k o o l ' t racks are next, cast ing your

m i n d back in t ime to w h e n Sl ick Rick a n d Biz

M a r k i e were at the top of the g a m e . A n inter-

esting track o n this a l b u m is Potnas where M r

Smith exper iments with D M X of the ruff

ryders' f low. H e d o e s o k a y but he shou ld stick

to what he has 'perfected 1 .

O v e r a l l , Willennium is a v e r a g e , wi thout as

m any jams as Big Willie Style but an O K

a l b u m with a variety of tracks using different

styles. The m a i n g r u m b l e is that s o m e w o u l d

a r g u e Will 's f low as be ing t o o c o m m e r c i a l

a n d downr igh t w h ack . That may be true but

you can't stop this guy s tack ing chips with his

f low so don't p l aya hate .

i n O

5 c

N/\

ClubOne

@ YenueTwo

S o m e c l ub nights m a n a g e to s tand ou t

f r om others with effort less e a se . It's

no th ing to d o with the i r DJ l i ne-up ,

no th ing to with the v e n u e whe re they

are he ld a n d no th i ng w h a t s o e v e r to d o

with the state of the toi lets . Q u i t e s i m -

ply, the c l ub nights that s tand h e a d a n d

shou lde r s a b o v e others a re al l a b o u t

the v ibe . They s e e m to cap tu re the sp i r-

it of the house party a n d t ranspor t this

heaven ly a t m o s p h e r e direct ly to a c l u b

venue . Last Saturday 's C l u b O n e n ight

was a perfect e x a m p l e of this.

Put o n by a g r o u p of p e o p l e c lear l y

m o r e interested in h a v i n g a g o o d t ime

than i m p r e s s i n g a n y b o d y , C l u b O n e

p r o v e d to be a n exce l lent night fo r

m o r e t han just those ou t fo r a b ig o n e .

Wi th a t echno- t rance mix in the m a i n

r o o m a n d ec lec t i c mix of beats in the

b a c k r o o m , c l ubbe r s were t rea ted to a

myst ical expe r i ence of m u s i c rarely

served in the m o r e m a i n s t r e a m c lubs .

F rom p e o p l e d a n c i n g l ike n o o n e was

w a t c h i n g to those just sitt ing a r o u n d o n

the f l o o r ch i l l i ng out , this was a h o u s e

party in a c l u b a n d the v ibe w a s c l e a r

fo r al l to see . I ndeed , as o n e w a l k e d

a r o u n d a fee l ing that e ve ryone k n e w

e a c h o ther s e e m e d to o o z e f r o m every

Sad ly t h o u g h , these C l u b O n e nights

a re s o m e t h i n g of a rarity, as they on ly

s e e m to a p p e a r every few m on t h s with

little p r o m o t i o n . Yet it is m a y b e this

in f requency that keeps the v ibe so

a l i ve , a n d the p e o p l e present so s p e -

c i a l . A n d this is why this c l u b is not

c a l l e d C l u b O n e a n d why it is not he ld

at VenueTwo . Sorry.

James

Ram Trilogy Parly @ The End

..if you like it hard...

With the recent o p e n i n g of h o m e a n d Fabric , the End cou ld have

f ound itself struggl ing to keep up. However, Friday night proved

that this venue a n d the genre of d rum and bass c a n still get the

punters in. This was a ' r o a d b l o c k ' event with the c lub a lmost full

to capaci ty by midnight .

The first coup l e of sets in the ma in r o o m were g o o d without rea l-

ly getting the c rowd j ump ing , playing music that anyone c a n eas-

ily get a ho ld of. The l ounge was a more laid back affair with d rum

a n d bass be ing played first up , but not the real heavy bass line

stuff, c o m p l e m e n t i n g the havoc be ing created in the ma in r o o m .

It then switched to hip h o p before f inishing with some chi l led out

breaks a n d beats.

Enter Roni Size on the decks , in the ma in r o o m . His reputat ion

precedes h im with ma in r o o m getting packed out to the point that

it was a lmost imposs ib le to move . H e played an excellent set with

a mixture of jazzy breaks, voca l tunes and bass heavy dubpla tes .

H e really d id get the c rowd g o i n g and the presence of M C D y n a -

mite only a d d e d to exper ience.

Next up c a m e the highl ight of the night. Andy C c a m e to the decks

with c rowd at boi l ing point. N o w to those of you that don't know,

Ram records is A n d y C s label a n d so you w o u l d expect this set

to be spec ia l . H e didn't d isappoint . He p layed a technical ly a m a z -

ing set, running mixes at length and construct ing the set wel l . H e

mixed up the set p lay ing the very newest dubplates a n d d r o p p i n g

the o d d blast f rom the past- you didn't know which way he was

g o i n g to take it next. S o m e might have felt that his set was maybe

too bass heavy, but the nutters in the c rowd were feel ing it ha rd ! ! !

Next up on the decks were the highly a c c l a imed producers , ed-

rush & opt ica l - they p layed a g o o d set a l though it was a little anti-

c l imact ic after the m a y h e m that p receded it. Randal l c losed the

night off with a tight set mixing the b-line styles with the more

exper imenta l stuff.

A l l in all a g o o d night was had by a l l , with a b road spectrum of

d r u m a n d bass catered for. Those of you that are interested, there

many more d r u m and bass nights f rom n o w to the end of the year

at the End. It's still a w icked venue - pretty mode rn with a body

shak ing s o u n d system. Wa t ch out Fabric , the End isn't d e a d yet.

G o v

Recommended

Clubbing

This w e e k ' s se l e c t i on is m o r e t han

impress i v e , so t ake y o u r p ick f r o m this

ve r i t ab le bo x of de l i gh t s .

Monday 15th November

Boom or Bust @ The Project; £4

Fat Tony o n the d e c k s with m o r e

f l a v o u r s t h a n m o s t . Th i s c l u b has

c h a n g e d n a m e s l o a d s , but r e m a i n s a

qua l i t y n ight out .

Thursday 18th November

The Beginning @ The End; £3

This n ight is a p r o p e r party so m a k e

sure you ' r e d r e s s e d up . DJs o n rota t ion

i n c l u d e B r a n d o n B l o ck , S t reetboy a n d

A l e x P a n d three q u i d fo r this is m o r e

t han a b a r g a i n .

Friday 19th November

Varsity @ 2 New Burlington Street; £8

Ex-c lubscene wri ter J o Pub l i c is a res i-

d e n t at this n e w u p a n d c o m i n g

g a r a g e c l u b . The re a re g o o d guests

e a c h w e e k f r o m s o m e of the best L o n -

d o n r a d i o s ta t ions .

Saturday 20th November

Fabric @ Fabric; £12

Fabr i c ' s in these listings a g a i n ! Sorry for

the repet i t ion , but this really is a bri l l iant

c l ub . This week sees Felix favour i te A s h -

ley Beed le in r o o m 3, a n d this surely will

be a stormer.

Sonic Mook Experiment @ Scala; £8

H e l d in a c o n v e r t e d c i n e m a , S o n i c

M o o k is a n ight ge t t ing better a l l the

t ime . Ton ight sees the w o n d e r f u l Psyco-

nauts get g roovy , so d o you real ly wan t

to miss ou t ?

To have your club added to this list just

invite us along, we'll check it out and if

we like it we'll put it down

e-mail: felix@ic.ac.uk

phone: 020 7594 8072 ask for James

s x

N A

What's on at ICU Cinema This Week

As you can tell from the screen pages there are some good films in cin-

emas out there. Our very own ICU Cinema is no different. This week they

boost a fantastic line up for you to feast your eyes upon. Films that are

being shown this week are 'Mickey Blue Eyes', 'Shakespeare in Love1 and

'Saving Private Ryan'.

y stars Hugh Grant, James Caan and Jeanne Tripplehorn

in this romantic comedy about love, fine art and The Mob. Michael Fel-

gate (Hugh Grant), an elegant, debonair Englishman who runs an auc-

tion house in New York, is head-over-heels in love for the first time in his

life. After only three months of dating his beautiful girlfriend Gina

(Jeanne Tripplehorn), Michael gathers up his courage and proposes mar-

riage. But, to Michael's shock, Gina declares that, though she loves

Michael very much, she can never marry him. Michael doesn't give up

easily and ends up getting involved with the Mob curtesey of Gina's father

(James Caan).

g is about World War II, which was a pivotal event of

the 20th century. It shifted the borders of the globe. It forever changed

those who lived through it, and shaped generations to come. It has been

called "the last Great War." Captain John Miller (Tom Hanks) is ordered

to take his squad behind enemy lines on a dangerous mission to find and

retrieve one man: Private James Ryan (Matt Damon). This film deals with

difficult issues such as sacrifice and death..

Shakespeare is a brilliant comedy starring Gwyneth Paltrow and

Ralph Fienes. Set in the late 1 500's, Shakespeare has writer's block and

is struggling to finish his latest piece of work. He needs inspiration, enter

the lovely Gwyneth, to help him get over the block. This movie is amaz-

ing but don't expect factual historical detail. This film boasts a fine Eng-

lish supporting cast with Dame Judi Dench and the guys from the Fast

Show. A must see for everyone.

There has been some confusion with the prices at the cinema. You don't

need to be a member to go and see the films, as all screenings are now

£3. So you now have no excuse s everyone can afford £3 to see some

of the best films ever. Go get a beer and a curry and enjoy some fan-

tastic films this week. To find out the times of the films just go to the walk-

way you see posters. All the information about screenings is on those

posters.

ICU Cinema is still looking for people to help out selling tickets and sell-

ing ice creams. In return you get to see the films for free. Just e-mail

a and they will be able to tell you more or ask the peo-

ple in charge when you go and se a film this week.

Brokedown Palace Competition

This week the Odeon Kensington have five pairs of tickets for

e to give away. As well as these tickets we have a cd of the sound-

track including tracks from Audioweb and Asian Dub Foundation to give

to one lucky winner,

Brokedown Palace is a story about two high schoolers Alice (Claire

Danes) and Darlene (Kate Beckinsale) who go to Thailand for a mega-

holiday to celebrate their graduation. From there they plan to go to

Hong Kong but drugs get found in their bags so instead the end up in a

Thai jail also known as a brokedown palace. Hank (Bill Pullman) is their

lawyer who tries to get them out.

The Odeon is at the far end of High Street Kensington and the number

9 and 1 0 buses will take you down there for a small charge. These buses

go from the park side of the Albert Hall, So now you know how to get

there all you have to do is answer a question, I realise that last weeks

question didn't go down too well and that IC students don't want to think

up interesting answers they just want an excuse to surf the web. Well if

this is the case then here is this week's question:

n

Answers to before noon on Wednesday 1 7 Novem-

ber.

The people that made the effort to enter last weeks competition and win

a pair of tickets each are:

M

P

M

C

M

Please call by the Felix office to collect your tickets.

More Offers, Offers, Offers

The Odeon have yet another offer to delight you film-loving people,

They have introduced a booklet that allows you to buy three cinema tick-

ets and get one free. These booklets also contain vouchers for money

off Heat or Empire magazine and go large vouchers for drinks and pop-

corn. "What's the catch?" I hear you shout. There is no catch. The book-

let is free and you can get them from the Felix office any time you like.

So come on what are you waiting for?!

5 s 3

D e s p i t e w h a t y o u h a v e p r o b a b l y h e a r d a b o u t F igh t Club, this is no t a

f i lm a b o u t v i o l e n c e . So r r y t o t h o s e o f y o u w h o w a n t e d to see B r a d Pitt

ge t h is h e a d s m a c k e d i n . W h i l e it d o e s i n v o l v e a lo t o f b a r e k n u c k l e

f i g h t i n g , it is m o r e a s tory a b o u t o n e p e r s o n , a c t e d by E d w a r d N o r t o n ,

a n d h o w he a c c i d e n t a l l y f o u n d s a cu l t .

B a s e d o n the n o v e l by C h u c k P a l a h n i u k this f i l m has b e e n a d a p t e d f o r

s c r e e n by J i m U h l s . Th i s is his d e b u t s c r e e n p l a y a n d he has d o n e

e x t r e m e l y w e l l . D a v i d F i n c h e r d i r e c t s th is f i l m in h is ve ry d i s t i n c t i v e

sty le . M o s t of y o u w i l l k n o w h i m f r o m f i l m s s u c h as The G a m e , S e v e n ,

a n d Alien 3.

The m a i n c h a r a c t e r n a r r a t e s the story f o r y o u a n d o c c a s i o n a l l y t a l ks to

the v i e w e r in the first p e r s o n . H e te l l s y o u a b o u t h i m s e l f a n d his d a y to

d a y l i f e . A l l g o e s w e l l unt i l h e m e e t s Tyler D u r d e n (Pitt). D u r d e n is the

sort of p e r s o n w h o is a l w a y s p o p u l a r a n d e v e r y o n e w o u l d l ove to b e .

H e a n d the n a r r a t o r start a f i gh t c l u b c o m p l e t e l y by a c c i d e n t a n d , as

y o u h a v e p r o b a b l y h e a r d f r o m the f i l m t r a i l e r s , "The first ru le a b o u t

F ight C l u b is no t to t a l k a b o u t F igh t C l u b . " S o I won ' t .

M a k i n g a s t a r r i n g a n d f a n t a s t i c a p p e a r a n c e is M e a t l o a f H e p l ays

Robe r t P a u l s o n w h o h a s h a d t e s t i c u l a r c a n c e r a n d n o w has b i g b i t ch

b r e a s t s . H e ac t s his pa r t e x t r e m e l y w e l l a n d it is w o r t h w a t c h i n g this

f i lm just f o r h i m . A l s o s t a r r i n g is H e l e n B o h n a m C a r t e r , not p l a y i n g he r

u s u a l E n g l i s h Rose c h a r a c t e r but m o r e of a l e a c h y type of p e r s o n . The

cas t w o r k s i n c r e d i b l y w e l l a n d it is r a r e to s e e so m a n y f a m o u s p e o p l e

a c t u a l l y g i v i n g a g o o d p e r f o r m a n c e in o n e f i l m .

F igh t Club is o n e o f t h o s e f i l m s that y o u th ink y o u u n d e r s t a n d a n d

qu i t e en joy . T h a t is unt i l a b o u t t h r e e - q u a r t e r s of the w a y t h r o u g h w h e n

it s u d d e n l y c h a n g e s . T h e p l o t d o e s n ' t qu i t e l o se y o u as m u c h as it c o n -

f u s e s y o u . Th i s is t h e t ype o f f i l m tha t t a k e s a w h i l e t o s ink in a n d

l e a v e s y o u w o n d e r i n g a b o u t v a r i o u s a s p e c t s f o r d a y s later. It is fu l l o f

d a r k h u m o u r a n d the r e is e v e n a b r i e f m o m e n t of i d i o c y w h e n the f i l m

s u d d e n l y s e e m s l ike a m o d e r n d a y s c e n e f r o m M o n t y Python's Life of

Brian.

O k , w h a t I s a i d a b o u t v i o l e n c e isn't e x a c t l y t r u e . T h e r e a r e f ights a n d

w h e r e they o c c u r t h e r e a r e lots of f a n t a s t i c s p e c i a l e f fec ts . It d o e s ge t

a bit g r u e s o m e at t i m e s but at l e a s t the b l o o d d o e s l o o k l ike b l o o d .

W i t h the recent spa te of " s l asher " m o v i e s , f i na l l y a b a t i n g with the r e l e a se

of Scream 3 early next year, it's a r e f r e sh ing su rp r i se to see m o r e c o n -

v e n t i o n a l s u p e r n a t u r a l thr i l lers p i c k i n g up s t e a m . The Sixth Sense is a

w e l c o m e a d d i t i o n to this g e n r e .

This m o v i e must have b e e n a n i g h t m a r e to p i t ch to s t u d i o execu t i v e s .

Let's t ake a story, by a n u n p r o v e n s c r eenwr i t e r /d i r e c to r , set in a g e n r e

last m a d e p o p u l a r in the m i d 1 9 7 0 ' s , wi th the e m p h a s i s of the a c t i n g o n

a 9 yea r o l d k i d . T h e n a d d B ruce W i l l i s as a psych ia t r i s t , in to the mix !

G r a n t e d that W i l l i s hasn' t h a d a g r e a t t r a ck r e c o r d w h e n it c o m e s to

p l a y i n g a p s y c h o l o g i s t [Colour of Night a n y o n e ! ) o r a c t i n g o p p o s i t e a

c h i l d (Mercury Rising), it's a su rp r i se that this m o v i e w o r k s so we l l - the

s tud io execs must have h a d g r e a t h i n d s i g h t to g r e e n - l i g h t this p ro jec t .

But w e s h o u l d be thank fu l b e c a u s e M N i g h t S h y a m a l a n h a s b e e n a b l e

to craf t a n ex t reme ly we l l a c t e d a n d we l l d e l i v e r e d th r i l l e r that m a y not

s c a r e you out of y o u r wits, but wi l l de f in i te l y l e ave y o u with a sense of

u n e a s e as you l eave the c i n e m a .

W i l l i s p lays D r M a l c o l m C r o w e , a p s y c h o l o g i s t , w h o at the start o f the

m o v i e is shot by a f o r m e r pa t i en t b e f o r e the pa t i en t turns the g u n o n

h imse l f . W e are then w h i s k e d t o w a r d s "The N e x t Fa l l " w h e r e we mee t

C r o w e . H e n o w has a new pa t i en t , 9-year-o ld C o l e S e a r (Ha ley J oe l

O s m e n t ) , w h o exhib i ts the s a m e p r o b l e m s as the f o r m e r pa t i en t - a n d so

C r o w e sees the abi l i ty to r e d e e m h imse l f in the boy.

W h a t un fo ld s is a n e x c e p t i o n a l l y we l l - c ra f t ed p i e c e of m o v i e m a k i n g in

w h i c h the s u s p e n s e f a c t o r is c r a n k e d r ight u p . But w h a t m a k e s this m o v i e

rea l l y w o r k is the a c t i n g . W h o w o u l d h a v e t h o u g h t that B ruce W i l l i s

c o u l d be a b l e to c o n v e y e m o t i o n s in a subt le m a n n e r w i t hou t g i v i n g a

one- l ine r , c r a c k i n g his t r a d e m a r k smi rk a n d then w h i p p i n g ou t a g u n

b e f o r e a l l he l l b r e a k s l o o s e ? Toni C o l l e t t e , w h o p lays C o l e ' s mother , is

a l s o o u t s t a n d i n g as a w o m a n w h o is t ry ing to u n d e r s t a n d w h a t is w r o n g

with he r son whi lst k e e p i n g he r f am i l y toge ther . But the rea l d i s c o v e r y is

O s m e n t , w h o s e a c t i n g in this m o v i e is n o t h i n g shor t of i n c r e d i b l e - there

a re a l r e a d y w h i s p e r s of a n O s c a r n o m i n a t i o n f o r Best S u p p o r t i n g Ac to r .

He's a b l e to h o l d his o w n in s c e n e s with W i l l i s a n d it's these s c e n e s w h i c h

p r o v i d e the b a c k b o n e of this m o v i e .

M u c h has b e e n sa id a b o u t this mov ie ' s b i g twist e n d i n g , a n d a l l I c a n

say is w h a t e v e r you 've h e a r d is r ight . T h e e n d i n g in this m o v i e b e l o n g s

o n the s a m e m a n t e l p i e c e as The Usual Suspects, a n d Seven a m o n g o t h -

ers, with the hints t o w a r d s it b e i n g p r o v i d e d a l l t h r o u g h ou t the m o v i e .

Helen Imran

4 Game% Feli

& ' 15 ()*+,-+. 1999

In association with

gameswire.com A WHOLE NEW WORLD

Eidos/Post-it

competition

This c o m p e t i t i o n w a s real ly o ve r-

s u b s c r i b e d m m m m . W h a t is the

matter with e v e r y o n e ? W e are p r e -

p a r e d to g ive a w a y FREE stuff to

you p o o r students but not m a n y

p e o p l e en te red the c o m p e t i t i o n .

W e w o u l d l ike to see a n i m p r o v e -

ment next t ime . A n y w a y the w i n -

ners of the R E A C T a c r o n y m c o m -

pet i t ion a r e :

Peter Reeves-Hall

Chris Haynes

Chris Dickinson

Joel Dearden

Paul Alexander

The 3 best a c r o n y m s in o u r h u m -

ble o p i n i o n we re :

Reality Endures And Computers

Tease

Really Enthusiastic About

Computer Technology

Runny Ectoplasmic Arseholes

Creating Treacle

P l ease c o m e a n d c o l l e c t y o u r

g o o d y b a g s at the Fel ix o f f i ce .

IB

Just look what the winners are

enjoying...

Rage of Mages I (PC)

Rage o f Mages II is m u c h like the o r i g i n a l , a hybr id of

R P G a n d strategy, but there have b e e n s o m e very

w e l c o m e re f inements . A s be fo re you w a n d e r a b o u t a

Warcraf r- l ike m a p , f igh t ing monste rs a n d trying to

a c c o m p l i s h g o a l s . A s you w h a c k mons te r s , they c a n

leave b e h i n d g o l d a n d e q u i p m e n t that you c a n use to

i m p r o v e y o u r cha rac te r , p lus you r skil ls a n d hit points

as y o u f ight. U p o n c o m p l e t i n g you r g o a l , you c a n

m o v e o n to the next m i s s i o n , o r h a n g a r o u n d a n d

e x p l o r e the m a p fully, l o o k i n g fo r m o r e monsters a n d

m o r e g o l d . Be tween m iss ions , you stop at towns to

t rade stuff, o r hire me r cena r i e s if you think the next

m i s s i on wi l l r equ i re a n extra body.

W h a t is g rea t a b o u t this g a m e is its non-l ineari ty. You

don ' t h a ve to d o the quests in a pa r t i cu l a r order , you

c a n c h o o s e w h i c h ques t a n d w h e n . O n the d o w n s ide

the g r a p h i c s a re not very a d v a n c e d so d o not expec t

to be w o w e d . A l s o , the character ' s m o v e m e n t s a re

qui te jerky a n d slow. Say ing this g r a p h i c s a re sec-

o n d a r y in these sorts of g a m e s a n d it is real ly the

p layab i l i t y a n d in te rac t ion that you're after.

ROM2 fea tures a s im p l e but effect ive batt le structure,

a k i n to the w o r l d of WarCraft. Point a n d c l ick to tell

you r c h a r a c t e r w h a t to d o , wh i ch spel l to cast , wh i ch

m o n s t e r to a t tack , etc. Real t ime g a m e p l a y fo r ces you

to d e t e r m i n e p l ans of at tack be fo re the f ight, a n d

R O M 2 wil l k e e p you constant ly th ink ing .

O n e th ing w h i c h I f o u n d a n n o y i n g a b o u t this g a m e is

that it is very h a r d . Usua l l y ha rd g a m e s m a k e fo r a n

interest ing c h a l l e n g e but w h e n you keep o n dy ing

you lose interest. It was a case of s a v i ng every c o u p l e

of m inu tes for f e a r i n g of b e i n g m a s s a c r e d by cer ta in

z o m b i e s a n d o the r ne fa r ious c rea ture .

In c o n c l u s i o n the g a m e is a nice RPG/s t ra tegy but

there is not m u c h new here . I, pe r sona l l y en j o ye d it

but it d o e s have a jerky qua l i t y a n d is s o m e t i m e s very

tricky. If it weren' t fo r the l ikes of D i a b l o II c o m i n g out

s o o n I might have b o u g h t this g a m e straight off but I

th ink it is best to wai t fo r it to c o m e out in budge t .

Nocturne (PC)

I can't r e m e m b e r the last t ime I was as d i s a p p o i n t e d in a

g a m e as I was with N o c t u r n e . I r ead al l the hype,

d r o o l e d over the screenshots a n d was so exci ted to have

a p rev i ew copy , I c o u l d hardly get the C D into the dr ive.

I w o u l d guess that the fee l ing of exc i tement lasted a b o u t

two minutes o n c e I started p lay ing the g a m e itself. The

p r o b l e m is that it iacks that most impor tan t e l ement in -

a decen t , o r i g i n a l , i d e a . This g a m e has been m a d e so

many t imes be fore , so m u c h better. This is the kind of

g a m e that causes me to lose faith in the industry. I m e a n ,

the guys w h o write these g a m e s must be intel l igent o r

they couldn ' t c o p e with the p r o g r a m m i n g . So h o w c a n

no on e in this b ig g r o u p of intel l igent p e o p l e spot that

what you are re leas ing is a pi le of w a r m e d - o v e r repet i-

tive rubb ish?

First off, any sense of i m m e r s i o n in the g a m e , vitally

impor tant in hor ro r g a m e s if it is g o i n g to be scary in the

slightest, is dest royed by the infur iat ing f ixed third person

v iewpoint . The g raph i c s may be g o o d , but as the only

th ing that actua l ly moves is the m a i n cha rac t e r a n d a

few pathet ic l o o k i n g w a l k i n g corpses the visuals s o o n

lose their a p p e a l . The c a m e r a ang l es are so b a d half the

t ime you can't even see you r cha rac t e r - fa l l ing to your

dea th over a prec ip i ce you cou ldn ' t even see because

the g a m e eng ine is so p o o r is not my i dea of fun .

Then there is the c o m b a t . A i m i n g in third pe rson is di f f i-

cult e n o u g h , but the cont ro l system is even worse , l e a d -

ing to bizarre s i tuat ions with my cha r a c t e r s tand ing in the

co rne r shoo t ing at the g r o u n d instead of at the d o g that

was busy g n a w i n g my leg off. Personal ly, I think the only

reason the b a d guys are al l s l ow m o v i n g z o m b i e s is that

shoo t ing anyth ing m o v i n g m u c h faster w o u l d be i m p o s -

sible due to the p o o r cont ro l s a n d c a m e r a ang les .

Even worse , in o rde r to play N o c t u r n e proper l y requires

a very h igh-end m a c h i n e (about a Pen t iuml l l -450 a n d a

decen t 32-bi t 3 D card) . This is most definitely not the

kind of g a m e that w o u l d e n c o u r a g e m e to u p g r a d e .

A v o i d it as you w o u l d the w a l k i n g , d i s e a s e r idden

co rps e of M a g g i e Thatcher .

M a r k Ben

5 s 5

l i i i i l l l

Flanker 2.0 (PC)

Flight s imula t ions are usual ly d i v ided into two types

- the mind less , a r c a d e style affairs a n d the type that

c o m e s with a m a n u a l f ou r hundred pages l ong

requir ing a degree in ae ronau t i c s a n d a private

pilots l icense to fly.

Flanker 2 is s u p p o s e d to fill the vo id between these

two types - even without the m a n u a l I was in the a i r

a n d shoot ing things d o w n well e n o u g h after a few

minutes. There are a l so var ious t ra in ing miss ions

ava i l ab le in-game in w h i c h , a n d as a learn ing

method they are extremely effective. The F lanker of

the game ' s title is the S U - 2 7 , the latest, hardest

(and p robab l y biggest) Russian f ighter p lane . I a m

told that because the Russian a r m e d services d o

pretty m u c h anything fo r m o n e y these days , the

deve lopers were a l l o w e d access to all sorts of

in format ion o n the p l ane that wouldn ' t have been

ava i l ab le if they'd c h o s e n a n A m e r i c a n p lane .

Whe the r a n y o n e but the most ded i c a t e d flight

fanat ic w o u l d notice the dif ference I doub t very

m u c h , however - w h e n was the last t ime you a c t u -

ally flew an F-1 6 ?

I d o think that perhaps this real ism drive might

have g o n e a little far though - all the cockp i t

switches are labe l led in Russian only, wh ich does

noth ing to e n h a n c e playability. Indeed the who l e

g a m e seems to have been des igned with a very

Russian military des ign pol icy in m i n d : keep it s i m -

ple , bui ld someth ing that does the job a n d forget

the rest. W h e r e it counts (ie a r o u n d target areas)

the graph ics are very de ta i l ed , but e lsewhere they

b e c o m e blurry a n d lack c o l o u r depth . This means

it runs extremely smooth ly even on my o ld P C ,

someth ing many other m o d e r n flight sims don ' t d o .

The emphas i s is very much on the detai ls of flying,

not o n flashy eye-candy.

Here's on e examp le of the k ind of miss ion in the

g a m e : dur ing o n e anti-ship miss ion I took out the

c o m b a t a i r patrol f r om l ong range a n d dove in o n

the target sh ip. Firing two sea-sk imming missiles at

it I turned for h o m e o n full afterburner, s k i m m i n g

the waves at 1 3 0 0 k p h . A s I wa t ched the missiles

streak t a rg e tw a rds , two s h i p - l a u n c h e d S A M S

d o w n e d bo th of t h e m , l e a v i ng m e with no

w e a p o n s a n d l ook ing a right f o o l . N o w that is

deta i l .

If you take the t ime to get beyond the initial t ra in-

ing miss ions , this is a b ig g a m e with loads of m is-

sions to play. The mult ip layer sect ion is well i m p l e -

mented a n d enter ta in ing, a l t hough it lacks the per-

sona l c o m b a t touch of W o r l d W a r II dogf igh t ing

g a m e s . It is not a new b e n c h m a r k in c o m b a t flight

s imula t ions , but it's definitely up their with the best

of them.

• Ben

The most impor tant fact a b o u t this g a m e is that it's

great fun to play. F rom the cutesy, squeaky ca r toon

characters to the very c lear g raph i c s , everything is

en joyab le .

A 3 D plat form g a m e a l o n g the lines of M a r i o 6 4 ,

Rayman 2 is definitely worth a try if you like that

sort of th ing. The storyline may be a bit we i rd at

t imes, but then w h o really takes any notice of plots

in g a m e s anyway? Basical ly, you play Rayman , a

f loppy-eared creature with no arms o r legs - his

feet a n d hands just f loat a r o u n d - a n d have to save

the wor ld by jump ing a r o u n d a n d co l lec t ing things.

The g a m e eases you in gradua l l y with a lot of easy

levels early o n . Wi th a bit of pat ience you'll s o o n

get on to the more cha l l eng ing a n d fun levels. This

is certainly a big g a m e , as I've been play ing for a

week now a n d my score is still only 8 % . It's a l so

reward ing , as you are always d iscover ing new lev-

els a n d spec ia l sect ions, not just frustratingly wa l k-

ing round the s a m e levels a g a i n a n d a g a i n l o o k -

ing for the exit

A fair bit of thought has obv ious ly g o n e into the

level des ign , a n d s o m e of the puzzles a n d tricks are

especia l ly cunn ing . They are a lso va r i ed , not just

the endless repeat ing " jump, walk , j ump , shoot" of

many 3 D plat form g a m e s on the P C . The puzzles

aren't exactly brain-taxers, never g o i n g beyond the

s tandard 'pull the switch to o p e n the doo r 1 k ind

really, but you n eed pretty g o o d c o o r d i n a t i o n to

get far. O n the who l e the c a m e r a ang l es are g o o d ,

a n d you c a n a lways m o v e the c a m e r a if you need

to.

The g raph i cs are wel l d r a w n a n d de ta i l ed , a n d the

s o u n d effects are suitably squeaky a n d ca r toon

like. The mus ic is bouncy a n d fun , with nice little

trills w h e n you d o someth ing important . It's a little

like p lay ing in on e of those kids ca r toons that are

on TV early Saturday m o r n i n g .

A l l in a l l , Rayman 2 is a n extremely well po l i shed

g a m e . It may be a little ch i ld i sh , but if you treat it

as a bit of a l augh a n d just play the g a m e , it'll s o o n

d raw you in a n d have you hitting the keyboa rd in

disgust when you miss a n easy jump a n d p o o r lit-

tle Rayman p lunges to his d o o m just before you

comp le t e the level .

• Ben

s x

method ^

U J *

The David's The Turner Prize 1 999 Dirk

F i n b o u r o u g h Thea t r e -

Earls C o u r t t ube

£5 C o n e .

H a r d c o r e . I a m wel l

a w a r e that this p lay w a s

not a i m e d at a w i d e s e c -

tion of the p u b l i c a n d

unless you a re a m i d d l e -

a g e d h o m o s e x u a l

u n a b l e to f ind the b a l -

a n c e be tween a m o n o g -

a m o u s r e l a t i onsh ip a n d

m i d n i g h t s o d o m y with

s t rangers on the h e a t h ,

then the issues of this

p lay wi l l p e r h a p s s e e m a

little d is tant .

The p lay a t t empted to

dea l with these issues

t h r o u g h the u n c e r t a i n

re l a t ionsh ip be tween a n

o l d e r love r a n d a y o u n g

guy in a boy b a n d . The

cha rac t e r s spen t a l m o s t

half the t ime butt n a k e d

o r s h a g g i n g . I respec t

the ac to rs fo r a t t empt i ng

such a h a r d co r e p i e c e

of theatre a n d the wri ter

f o r d e a l i n g wi th the

issues in such a f rank

way but it never real ly

w o r k e d .

Bas ica l l y the p r o d u c t i o n

was ou t of it's d e p t h a n d

as a result e n d e d up

be ing l o n g p e r i o d s of

b o r e d o m p u n c t u a t e d by

brief m o m e n t s of b u g -

gery.

Tate G a l l e r y - P i m l i co tube

Free

If you d e c i d e to visit this exh ib i t ion (and you shou ld ) , you wil l not de pa r t with the

s a m e i m p r e s s i o n as us. Tha t ' s wha t the Turner Prize is al l a b o u t ; it c h a l l e n g e s o u r

de f in i t i on of " a r t " . Short-l isted for the pr ize this yea r a re f ou r very con t rove r s i a l artists

- n o n e m o r e so than Tracy E m i n . H e r work is str ik ing b e c a u s e of the w ide r a n g e of

r e sponses that it p r o v o k e s . H e r s h o w p i e c e c o m p r i s e s of her sick b e d , e m b r o i d e r e d

qui l t (p ic tured a b o v e ) , m e m o r a b i l i a a n d v i d e o f o o t a g e . Is she a se l f-centred na r c i s -

sistic tart w h o boos t s he r e g o t h r o u g h c a p t u r i n g o u r sympathy ? O r is she w a n t i n g

to s h a m e hersel f t h r o u g h lay ing ba re her life to the j u d g e m e n t of o thers? D o you feel

s o r r o w fo r her o r c o n t e m p t ? E i ther way she has h a d a co l ou r fu l a n d , at t imes , so r-

d id past , wh i ch p e r h a p s she is trying to r e conc i l e t h r o u g h her wo rk , c o m i n g to terms

with the t r a u m a (part icu lar ly sexual ) she desc r ibes in her ch i ld i sh s c r ibb l es . It's p r o b -

ab ly the most i m m e d i a t e l y a c c e s s i b l e of al l the work s h o w n .

J a n e a n d Lou ise W i l s o n ' s d i sp l ay a l so s tudies aspec ts of h u m a n na tu re , t h r o u g h

l o o k i n g at h o w expe r i en ce s have b e c o m e i n g r a i n e d in the f ab r i c of two dist inct l o c a -

t i ons ; the H o o v e r d a m a n d a Las V e g a s c a s i n o . The i r wa l l to wa l l c i n e m a t i c d i sp l ay

not on ly recreates the a t m o s p h e r e a n d d i so r i en ta t i on of the C a s i n o life style (with it 's

w r a p - a r o u n d v isua ls a n d evoca t i ve s o u n d t rack) , but it a l s o reflects the uncer ta in l y

a n d c h e a p n e s s of such a n ex is tence . The d a m ' s co r r i do r s stretch away into n o t h i n g -

ness , c o m p l e m e n t i n g the c a s i n o f o o t a g e , m a k i n g you unsure wh i ch path o r c h a n c e

to t ake .

Steve M c Q u e e n a i m s to p r o d u c e a phys i ca l r eac t ion in the v iewer, this t ime m o r e fo r

c o m i c effect. H is D e a d Pan is a rec rea t ion of a Buster K e a t o n ske tch , with the s ide

of a h o u s e f a l l i ng o n the artist, on l y for h im to m i r a cu l ou s l y survive s ince the empty

w i n d o w f r a m e fal ls a r o u n d h i m . This p r o m o t e s the i dea of gravity c r ea t i ng a so l id

a n d very rea l threat , a n d of the artist t ak ing a risk for his t r ade . His work c a n be

in terpre ted in a n u m b e r of ways , a n d in spite of the fact that it is not i m m e d i a t e l y

a c c e s s i b l e , this m a k e s is a l l the m o r e r e w a r d i n g .

O n the sur face Steven P ipp in ' s wo rk seems m o r e l ike s c i ence than art. H e has c o n -

ver ted twelve w a s h i n g m a c h i n e s in to p in ho le c a m e r a s , c a p a b l e of d e v e l o p i n g the i r

s l ides wi th in the w a s h i n g cyc le . These p ic tures a re d i s p l a ye d in series a l o n g the w a l l ,

but unfor tunate ly the c o n c e p t of h o w they were t aken is m o r e exc i t ing than wha t you

ac tua l l y see - a l t h o u g h h im w a l k i n g t h r o u g h the laundere t te in his y-fronts with a v is-

ib le e rec t ion m a y be interest ing to s o m e . A g o o d i d e a but the results were un insp i r -

i n g .

B e n

W e c o u l d n ' t a g r e e o n a n ove ra l l w inner .

Tom & Emma

The c o u n t d o w n begins for Dram-

Soc 's a m a z i n g Chr i s tmas product ion

Imper ia l ' s t h e sp i an s are t a k i n g o n

s o m e t h i n g h u g e ; the first i n d e -

p e n d e n t s h o w i n g eve r of Dirk. The

scr ipt is a d a p t e d f r o m Dirk Gen-

tly 's Holistic Detective Agency by

D o u g l a s A d a m s (au thor of the

H i t c h Hickers Guide to the

Galaxy).

Mr. A d a m s was i n vo l ved in the

wr i t ing of this p l ay a n d has sent

w o r d s of a d v i c e to D r a m S o c ;

" D o n ' t worry a b o u t the story a n d

just have f u n " .

This p lay is eas i ly the most t e c h n i -

ca l ly c h a l l e n g i n g that D r a m S o c

has ever d o n e (it i n c l udes a s p a c e -

sh ip l a n d i n g o n stage) , but if any

tech c rew c a n h a n d l e it, D r a m S o c

a re d a boyz .

T ickets £4 .50 f r o m 2 9 t h N o v - at

the U n i o n O f f i c e o r o n the door .

S h o w i n g 8 - 1 1 D e c e m b e r

Time's Running Out To See

Higher than Bable

The r e l a t i onsh ip be tween S c i ence

a n d Soc ie ty is e x p l o r e d .

Br idwe l l Thea t r e .

F in ishes 2 0 N o v - £8

Some Explicit Polaroids

D o we c a r e a b o u t any real p r i n c i -

p les o r d o w e just wan t to get

p i ssed al l the t ime?

N e w A m b a s s a d o r Thea t re

F in ishes 2 0 N o v - £ 5 -20

5 s

d /\ 1 I P «

m I

mi

sSack l e r W i n g , Roya l A c a d e m y of Arts - N e a r e s t Tube : G r e e n Park

Un t i l : 6 Feb rua r y 2 0 0 0

This exhib i t ion was s o m e t h i n g of a n O c t o b e r Revo lu t ion . If you g o , you

may be f o r ced to a g r e e that it is the exh ib i t ion of the year. A m a z i n g as a

who l e a n d yet every pa in t ing is spec i a l in its o w n right. The hype was :

Five Russian (Na ta l i a G o n c h a r o v a , Lu ibov P o p o v a , O l g a R o z a n o v a , Var-

vara S t e p a n o v a , N a d e z h d a Uda l t sova ) a n d o n e U k r a i n i a n (A lexandra

Exter) artist s h o w i n g m o r e than fifty pa in t ings , m a n y never before seen in

the West . W e f o l l ow the careers of these artists in a sweep th rough the

years immed ia t e l y be fore a n d after the 1 9 1 7 Revo lu t ion . I went in want-

ing to l ike this exh ib i t ion a n d c a m e out in love . But there are just t oo

m any fantast ic pictures here a n d I a m s t rugg l ing to desc r ibe t hem.

A p p r o a c h O l g a R o z a n o v a ' s Jack of Hearts a n d you think: she is copy i n g

P icasso . T h e n you r e a d : pa in ted a b o u t 1 9 1 2 . T h e n you w o n d e r : this

pa in t ing w o u l d pass fo r a P i casso c i r ca 1 9 6 0 . In 1 9 1 7 , R o z a n o v a pa in t-

ed G r e e n Stripe (Colour Painting). This is pure ly abstract , reduct ive a n d

a lmos t unbe l i evab l y a h e a d of its t ime . P o p o v a is equa l l y impress ive with

her b o l d , d r a m a t i c , of ten abstract fo rms (Painterly Architectonics). These

artists were so avan t-garde that they fo resaw the future of Western art. Its

a lmos t as surpr is ing as Q u e e n V i c to r i a p red ic t ing the internet, a n d then

hav ing her p a l a c e w i red up fo r it.

O f the six, G o n c h a r o v a was the most d e d i c a t e d pa inter (the others

w o r k e d o n theatre sets a n d textiles). She p i cked up Western inf luences

a n d m a d l y ran with t h e m , p r o d u c i n g pictures of qui te striking original i ty.

Start ing in 1 9 0 7 with a beaut i fu l ly executed Impressionist self-portrait

(Self-Portrait with Yellow Lilies), she evo lves effortlessly into a m o r e futur-

ist style (Pillars of Salt, 1 9 0 8 ) . T h e n , in a little ove r two years , she paints

the da rk l y-b rood in g mas te rp i ece Apocalypse (Elder with Seven Stars),

wh ich c o u l d be c o n t e m p o r a r y art. So f o rwa rd l o o k i n g , it was c o n s i d e r e d

b l a s p h e m o u s a n d c a u s e d a po l i t i ca l s torm at the t ime. U n p e r t u r b e d , she

s p e a r h e a d e d the Russ ian Cubo-Fu tu r i s t m o v e m e n t , with pictures l ike The

Weaver (Loom and Woman).

But the pa int ings are m o r e than w o n d e r f u l . Every o n e is a un ique syner-

gy of Western in f luence a n d Russian fo lk art. G o n c h a r o v a takes the t r a-

dit ions of Russia a n d reinterprets t hem in pictures l ike M o w e r s , wh i ch has

the a i r of a med i e va l a l l e g o r i c a l pa in t i ng . A l e x a n d r a Exter pa in ted in a n

abstract style but w a s fo reve r interested in the t r ad i t i ona l , c lass ica l r ep-

resentat ion of l a n d s c a p e , m a g i c a l l y expressed in Cityscape (Composi-

tion). I a m speech l ess !

eTate G a l l e r y - Nea r e s t Tube : P i m l i c o

Un t i l : 3 0 J anua r y 2 0 0 0

G a t e c r a s h i n g T h u r s d a y N i g h t C o c k t a i l s at U C L U n i o n . Is this y o u r on l y

B l o o m s b u r y E x p e r i e n c e ? If it is , B l o o m s b u r y wi l l not b e a very e v o c a t i v e

p l a c e f o r y o u . A f te r c l o s i n g t i m e , w e a l l k n o w that y o u n e e d a j un i o r d o c t o r ' s

s t a m i n a just to s t and n e a r t h o s e s l o s h e d s tudents s i c k i n g u p a n d u p a n d u p .

But h a v i n g b e e n a U C L u n d e r g r a d u a t e a n d s o m e t i m e r e s iden t of C a r t w r i g h t

G a r d e n s , I a l s o k n o w B l o o m s b u r y f o r its leafy s q u a r e s a n d g r a c e f u l G e o r -

g i a n t e r r a c e s : s em i-my th i c a l h o m e l a n d of that f a m o u s c o l l e c t i v e of r a d i c a l

i n te l l e c tua l s k n o w n as the B l o o m s b u r y G r o u p . W i t h i n easy s t u m b l i n g d i s -

t a n c e of U C L a re the f o r m e r h o u s e s of V i r g i n i a W o o l f , J o h n M a y n a r d

Keynes , E M Forster, R o g e r Fry, V a n e s s a Bel l a n d D u n c a n G r a n t . T h e last

th ree we re artists a n d this n e w e x h i b i t i o n f o l l o w s the i r i n t e r l i n k e d c a r ee r s

f r o m 1 9 1 0 .

Sad ly , this exh ib i t i on inadve r ten t l y por t rays B l o o m s b u r y as a f o s s i l i s ed b a c k -

wa te r of art ist ic med ioc r i t y . A l t h o u g h R o g e r Fry w a s the first to i n t r o d u c e

I m p r e s s i o n i s m in to the Br i t ish art m a i n s t r e a m , m o s t of his o w n w o r k a n d that

of Bel l a n d G r a n t is, w i t hou t d o u b t , i n c r e d i b l y du l l a n d very m u c h of its a g e .

T h e r e we re o v e r a h u n d r e d a r c h e t y p a l B l o o m s b u r y w o r k s (sti l l-l ifes, portraits)

a n d s o m e of t h e m we re d is t inct ly th i rd ra te . V a n e s s a Be l l ' s The H a / s t a c k ,

A s h e h a m is ba re l y d i s t i n g u i s h a b l e f r o m the p o o r l y e x e c u t e d d a u b s of a n

a m a t e u r . Yet o thers g i ve the i m p r e s s i o n of b o r e d o m : i m a g i n e V a n e s s a Bel l

s itt ing a r o u n d with n o t h i n g to d o a n d d e s p e r a t e l y r a c k i n g h e r b r a in s f o r

s o m e t h i n g ' c l e v e r ' to pa in t . In the b a c k g r o u n d of D u n c a n G r a n t ' s Still Life

With Matisse, there is a r e p r o d u c t i o n of M a t i s s e ' s Blue Nude I. I'm a f r a i d to

say that M a t i s s e , e v en in i m i t a t i o n , put e ve r y th ing e lse to s h a m e .

T h e t r a g e d y is that there we re o n l y f ive rea l l y s t r ik ing p a i n t i n g s in the ent i re

e x h i b i t i o n . T h e s e w e r e a c t u a l l y not a l l that w o n d e r f u l a n d h a v e b e e n d o n e

e l s e w h e r e a n d better. Yet they we re aes the t i c a l l y p l e a s i n g a n d c a p t i v a t e d m e

e i ther by the i r i n t imacy with the sub jec t ( G r a n t : V a n e s s a Bell at Charleston

a n d Vanessa Bell Pregnant) o r the i r v i b r a n t w a r m t h ( G r a n t : The D o o r w a y a n d

South of France; Fry: V i e w o f Cassis).

The i m p a c t of this e x h i b i t i o n re l ies ent i re ly u p o n its con tex t . T h e B l o o m s b u r y

ce lebr i t y c o n n e c t i o n m e a n s that p e o p l e h a n d o v e r m o n e y to see s o m e t h i n g

that w o u l d b e , u n d e r n o r m a l c i r c u m s t a n c e s , f i rmly r o o t e d in the s e c o n d d i v i -

s ion (and I a m b e i n g c h a r i t a b l e here ) . But, in sp i te of th is , I c o u l d n ' t h e l p but

fa l l in to the ce lebr i t y t r a p a n d b e g i n to l ike these p i c tu r e s .

• • • • • William Burns William Burns

s x

d

t

F i n b o r o u g h Thea t r e

Nea r e s t Tube : Ear ls C o u r t

Unt i l : 2 7 N o v e m b e r 1 9 9 9

H o u s t o n , we have a p r o b -

l e m ! O r rather severa l p r o b -

lems , w h i c h left this p lay

dr i f t ing s o m e w h a t fo r lo rn l y

in s p a c e . A l l two of us in the

a u d i e n c e w e r e t o l d the

w a c k y story of a Ken t i sh

Town ca te re r w h o b e l i e v e d

that his m o t h e r w a s a n

as t ronaut . The p lay e n d e d

to the strains of Lucy In The

Sky W i th D i a m o n d s , w h i c h I

think just a b o u t s u m m e d up

this sur rea l e x p e r i e n c e .

G i v e n the cons t ra in ts of this

tiny theat re , the two-pe r son

cas t ( A n t h o n y Best a n d

Den i se Lane) d i d w h a t they

c o u l d . M r Best d i d no t

a lways d o his best , o n c e f o r -

g e t t i n g his l ines r a t h e r

n o t i c e a b l y a n d n e e d i n g

three l o u d p r o m p t s . M s Lane

a l s o s u f f e r e d f r o m First

N igh t N e r v e s a n d it c o n -

cerns m e that p r o f e s s i o n a l

actors s h o u l d be so a m a -

teur ish , e spec i a l l y w h e n the

punters a r e p a y i n g g o o d

money .

I f ind it h a r d to s l a m this p l ay

(I feel sorry fo r them) . But if

you w a n t to g o , I'd hurry,

b e c a u s e I suspec t this pe r-

f o r m a n c e wi l l be p u l l e d l o n g

be fore the end of its s c h e d -

uled s e a s o n .

• William Burns

" Le t a t h o u s a n d f l o w e r s b l o o m " s a i d M a o

Tse T e u n g then s t a m p e d o n the i r h e a d s a s

he d i d n ' t l ike the c o l o u r .

T h e f r i n g e s c e n e . It's m a d e up of a n u m b e r

of s i d e s ; w e h a v e the wr i ters w h o strive to

c r e a t e the truly o r i g i n a l - a c t o r s w h o try a n d

b r e a t h l ife in to the n e w scr ip ts - a n d cr i t ics

w h o s l a g off b o t h the o the r s f o r b e i n g c r a p .

Is the re a n y w a y o u t of this p a r a d o x . N o p e .

F o r every g r e a t p l a y the re a r e t h o u s a n d s of

r u b b i s h o n e s - the re has to b e . Yet w i thou t

the f r i n g e s c e n e (wh ich a l l o w s e x p e r i m e n t a l

t hea t r e to d e v e l o p ) w e w o u l d n e v e r h a v e

the t ru ly g r ea t .

M o s t of the stuff o n at the f r i n g e is b a d . But

this d o e s not m e a n it is w o r t h l e s s . For

s o m e t h i n g to be o r i g i n a l it mus t t ake a risk

- a n d that risk is that it w i l l e n d u p b e i n g

c r a p .

W e a l l r e m e m b e r S h a k e s p e a r e , but the re

w e r e h u n d r e d s of p l aywr i t e s a r o u n d at the

t i m e ; m o s t w e r e in f in i te ly f o r g e t t a b l e , but

S h a k e s p e a r e w o u l d n e v e r h a v e d e v e l o p e d

w i t h o u t a c t o r s w i l l i n g to ac t a n d thea t r e s in

n e e d of s h o w s .

N e w o r i g i n a l t hea t r e is very rare a n d - to

t o p it off - w h e n it d o e s c o m e a l o n g , s o c i -

ety d i s m i s s e s it as w o r t h l e s s as it is not

r e a d y yet. But this is the o n l y w a y it c a n be

- the re n e e d s to be a l a r g e a n d v i b r a n t

f r i n g e s c e n e ful l off c r a p w h i c h the g r e a t

wi l l t r a n s c e n d . A n d yes w e e ven n e e d the

cr i t i cs t r a s h i n g eve ry t h i n g they d o n ' t u n d e r -

s t a n d a n d h a i l i n g s o m e t h i n g as a m a s t e r -

p i e c e eve ry f o r t n i gh t o r s o .

Let a t h o u s a n d f l o w e r s b l o o m , but a c c e p t

m o s t of t h e m wi l l be ugly.

Ben

Royal College

Science Union

an u an

Monday 15 November

7:30pm in the Senior Common Room

5 s 9

T h r e e Women.

Three Women,

Marge Piercy

Three W o m e n is the latest n o v e l

f r o m A m e r i c a n a u t h o r M a r g e

P iercy a n d f o l l o w s th ree g e n e r a -

t ions of w o m e n : S u z a n n e is a

h igh ly s u c c e s s f u l l aw ye r w h o h a s

just e m b a r k e d o n a n e w e r a in

her l i fe , t e a c h i n g at B o s t o n U n i -

versity a n d b e g i n n i n g a n e w r e l a -

t i o n s h i p f o l l o w i n g a n i n t e r n e t

r o m a n c e . Bever ly , he r m o t h e r a n d

o n e t i m e p o l i t i c a l a c t i v i s t , is

f ie rce ly i n d e p e n d e n t yet h e r l ife is

sha t t e red as she suf fers a d e b i l i -

t a t i n g s t r o k e a n d b e c o m e s

i n c r e a s i n g l y r e l i a n t o n t h o s e

a r o u n d her . E l e n a , S u z a n n e ' s

feisty d a u g h t e r , l o ses h e r j o b a s a

wai t ress a n d is f o r c e d to m o v e

b a c k in with h e r mothe r .

A s they a r e t h r o w n t oge the r , the

w o m e n a re f o r c e d to r ead jus t

the i r l ives a n d r e c o n s i d e r the i r

r e l a t i o n s h i p s . P ie rcy t a c k l e s b o t h

m a t e r n a l r e s p o n s i b i l i t i e s a n d f i l i a l

loya l ty in a way that is c h a l l e n g -

ing yet p o i g n a n t . T h e story a l s o

t o u c h e s o n issues a s d i v e r s e as

e u t h a n a s i a a n d adu l te ry .

The b o o k is wr i t ten f r o m the p o i n t

of v i ew of a l l th ree w o m e n a n d

the a u t h o r ' a t t e n t i o n t o d e t a i l

a l l o w s the r e a d e r t o e m p a t h i s e

w i th a l l the m a i n c h a r a c t e r s .

H o w e v e r , at t imes I f o u n d the

b o o k , pa r t i cu l a r l y the r e f e r e n c e s

to A m e r i c a n l aw , ve r y h e a v y

g o i n g . If y o u l ike i n t e n s e , r o m a n -

tic s a g a s , this is the b o o k f o r y o u l

Un fo r tuna t e l y , it is no t the b o o k

f o r m e .

books

England England, Julian Barnes

Th is o n e g o e s ou t to a l l the M u r d o c h - h a t e r s ou t there . N o m i n a t e d fo r the 1 9 9 8

B o o k e r , he re is a b o o k that bu i l d s u p o n the s t a n d a r d t h e m e of art b e i n g u s e d as

a subst i tu te f o r reality. The b o o k starts out with a n e x p l o r a t i o n of the m a n n e r in

w h i c h we cons t ru c t a r t i f i c i a l w o r l d s , on l y to f in ish with a s c a t h i n g a t tack on w h a t

B a rnes g e n e r a l l y pe r ce i v e s as a l a ck of c o n s c i o u s n e s s with r e g a r d to t rue a u t h e n -

ticity a n d h e r i t a g e .

The b a s i c story l ine f o l l o w s the ra ther g r a n d i o s e s c h e m e of m u l t i m i l l i o n a i r e Sir

J a c k P i tman to c r ea t e the grea tes t tour is t a t t r ac t i on eve r - the t h e m e p a r k to bea t

a l l t h e m e p a r k s . Th is is n o o r d i n a r y p a r k , this o n e o c c u p i e s the w h o l e of the Isle

of W i g h t ! The is le , n o w re-chr i s tened " E n g l a n d , E n g l a n d " has l i fe l ike r ep l i c a s -

a n d in s o m e c a s e s , the o r i g i n a l s w h i c h h a v e b e e n s p e c i a l l y m o v e d there - of a l l

the u s u a l tour is t a t t r ac t ions that e a r n the Bri t ish Isles so m u c h of the i r w e a l t h .

S t o n e h e n g e , W e s t m i n s t e r A b b e y a n d e ven B u c k i n g h a m P a l a c e a re i n c l u d e d in Pit-

man ' s c o l l e c t i o n . W i t h the Roya l Fami l y , T h e T i m e s a n d M a n c h e s t e r U n i t e d F C a l l

set f i rmly in p l a c e o n the Isle, " E n g l a n d , E n g l a n d " sets a l l ou t t o b r i n g the o n c e -

migh ty n a t i o n to its k n e e s .

T h e c en t r a l c h a r a c t e r is the cyn i c M a r t h a C o c h r a n e w h o , desp i t e b e i n g u n u s u a l -

ly d i s sa t i s f i ed a b o u t th ings in g e n e r a l , m a n a g e s to get i n v o l v e d with this g i a n t

p ro j e c t a n d even tua l l y b l a c k m a i l s her way r ight to the t o p . B a rnes is at his best

w h e n d e p i c t i n g M a r t h a , w h o s e d i a l o g u e r ings very t rue a n d is neve r ove r l y h a r s h

d e s p i t e the ever-present s a r c a s t i c u n d e r t o n e s .

H o w e v e r , the e n d is fa i r ly d i r e a n d p r e d i c t a b l e ; E n g l a n d , E n g l a n d d e c l a r e s its

i n d e p e n d e n c e , jo ins the E U , sh rugs off the m a i n l a n d c o m p l e t e l y a n d g e n e r a l l y

l e a d s the rest o f the w o r l d to first i g n o r e a n d then c o n d e m n the m a i n l a n d . O l d

E n g l a n d in a d e s p e r a t e b i d to r e g a i n s o m e c red ib i l i t y re-chr is tens itself " A n g l i a "

a n d then expe l s the e r ran t i s l a n d . T h e T imes (which has m o v e d - a l o n g wi th a l l

o t h e r ins t i tu t ions - to the Isle) l abe l s this the act of a " b a n k r u p t pa r en t exaspe ra t -

ed ly d e c l a r i n g that it w o u l d n o l o n g e r unde rwr i t e the bi l ls of its m i l l i o n a i r e c h i l d " .

T h e w o r l d at l a rge b e g i n s t o fo rge t a b o u t eve ry th ing to d o d i rec t l y with O l d E n g -

l a n d , a n d the i s l a n d s i m p l y reverts b a c k to the q u a i n t p r im i t i ve days of yo re . The

f o c u s shifts b a c k to M a r t h a at this po i n t , as she ref lects o n h o w th ings have

c h a n g e d so rap id ly .

T h e e n d rea l l y d o e s s e e m t a g g e d o n , howeve r . It is ex t reme ly a b r u p t a n d eve ry-

t h i n g c h a n g e s in the s p a c e of a few p a g e s . Th is d i s tu rbs the na r ra t i ve f l o w a n d

m e a n s that it doesn ' t f in i sh s t rongly .

If you ' re a f a n of the dry a c e r b i c f o r m of sa t i r i ca l wit Ba rnes has e m p l o y e d f r e-

quent l y , t hen there a re a few g e m s , but if not then there is little r e a s o n to r e a d it.

The Restraint

of Beasts,

Magnus Mills

The first nove l by M i l l s ,

w h o w o r k e d as a bus

dr i ve r d u r i n g its wr i t ing ,

The Restraint of Beasts is

a b o o k of rea l c h a r a c t e r

a n d c o m i c c h a r m .

Two S co t t i sh w o r k i n g

c lass b ro the rs , Tarn a n d

R i ch i e , w a n n a b e ha rd-

r o c k e r s a n d s l a c k e r

f ence b u i l d e r s , p r o v i d e

the h u m o u r as v i ewed by

the p o o r s o u l f resh ly

a s s i g n e d as the boy s

f o r e m a n .

W h i l e not qu i te a l a u g h

a p a g e , I d i d l a u g h out

l o u d c o u n t l e s s t i m e s

d u r i n g the c o u r s e of

r e a d i n g , p r o m p t e d by

M i l l s d e a d p a n del ivery

a n d the a p p a r e n t id iocy

of the two bro thers , w h o

m a n a g e to get t h e m -

selves into al l sorts of

t r o u b l e .

A f resh c h a n g e of p a c e

a n d wel l wo r th a l o o k .

Helen

You wi l l l a u g h

• Russell

R e m e m b e r to s top by

W a t e r s t o n e ' s o n C a m -

pus w h e r e 'Fe l ix R e c o m -

m e n d s ' titles a re at a

Sun/7 2 0 % d i s c o u n t .

0 /0102 3456 Feli

7 8 15 9:;<=><? 1999

F V @ABCDE FG<6H45 I I<HJ<6H45H HH

N KLMNOPSTA Quiz Night

W i n £ 5 0 c a s h o r a

8 p m , d a V ine , s

R A G

0 . J C R

XS

C l a s s i c party tunes

f o r the pos t-match

party. 9-1 a m , dBs

Standing Rm Only

England v Scotland

The bar opens at

5 . 0 0 a n d the pre-

match bui ld-up c o m -

mences at 7 . 0 0 .

Pop Tarts

It d o e s n ' t mat te r w h a t

Fr iday n ight at the

u n i o n is c a l l e d - it's

a lw ays cheesy a n d it

a lw ays s o u n d s the

s a m e .

c

Archery

6 lOprn, Po ' i e c t i l e

Cent re )

B o o m or Bust @

Project Club

Free entry B4 1 1 p m .

Dr inks £1 e a c h , usual

mix of mus ic ,

Fencing Club

U n i o n G y m , 1 2 p m

W i n e Tasting

6 p m , dB ' s

Canoe Club

Pract ice s e s s i on , 7 p m

C A G

S o u p run , 8.1 5 p m

Space @Bar

Rhumba £3 B4 11

D e e p - tech- d i s co-

funky-house g r o o v e s .

Exce l lent n ight .

C A G

S o u p run , 8 . 1 5 p m

W e e k ' s B a s e m e n t

ICU Choir

R e h e a r s a l , 6.1 5 p m

R o o m 3 4 2 , M e c h

Eng .

• @

Wembley Arena

E35-25

PhotoSoc

a , i. p m

Sneaker Pimps @

ULU £8.50

Sure to be fantas t i c .

D o not miss .

m

East is East QRSTUV WXY m Z[\]̂family/ - -: " \> '

Ride with the Devil

Epic of the A m e r i c a n

C iv i l War, huge critical

sucess.

Empire .

2 . 1 0 , 5 .30 , 8 . 3 0 1 2 . 3 0 , 2 . 4 0 , 4 . 5 0

Ratcatcher

Set in 7 0 ' s G l a s g o w

a b o u t a b l o k e w h o

feels guilty a b o u t

ki l l ing his p a l .

V i rg in F u l h a m Rd.

4 . 0 0 , 7 . 0 0 , 9 . 2 0

Fight C lub

V i o l e n t , b l o o d y , B r a d

Pitt stars in this r e c -

o m m e n d e d f i lm

TV A river runs

through it

1 0 . 0 0 , C 4

B r a d Pitt stars in a n

' u n e x c e p t i o n a l ' f a m i -

ly d r a m a .

E m b a r r a s i n g

l lnesses

8 . 3 0 . C 4

The Big Mat ch

7 . 3 0 , ITV

E n g l a n d a n d Sco t-

l a n d batt le it out in a

Eu ro 2 0 0 0 qual i f ie r .

Who wants to be

a millionaire?

8 . 0 0 ; ITV

Chr i s Tarrant makes

s o m e more peop l e

Top of the Pops

7 . 3 0 , C I

M o r e cheesy char t

hits f r o m the c o u n -

try 's t o p t en .

Resident A l i e n

eccentr i c .

Some explicit

p o l a r o i d s

N e w A m b a s a d o r s

A re f resh ing p lay that

t ack les m a n y issues

i n c l u d i n g s o c i a l i s m .

F in ishes Friday.

M n e m o n i c

Rivers ide S tud ios

A new s h o w a b o u t

p l a c e a n d m e m o r y

prev iews today .

K i n g L e a r

B n r h i r n n

15 9:;<=><? 1999 _ Feli7 /0102 3456 1

D `abcdeaf

K u n g Fu Club

(Wu S h u Kwan)

Sou ths ide G y m

4 : 3 0 p m - 6 : 3 0 p m

CARWASH (o >Lon-

don Astoria

G l a m o r o u s d i sro a n d

funk d u b ,

lough

•d fo r a

Bowfinger

A n al l star cast of

c o m e d y greats. 'Pre-

posterous a n d utterly

se l f-absorbed. '

T r o c a d e r o

4 . 0 0 , 6 . 3 0 9 . 0 0

Casualty

8 0 5 , B B C 1

": . . :'

has to o f f e r - stay in

a n d wa tch pretend

.-.b-rfois.

H i g h e r t h an

B a b e l

T h e B r idewe l l

A b o u t the sc ient is t 's

ro le in society. F i n -

ishes today .

A ghijklSouthside pub

quiz

T h e q u i z f o r r e g u l a r s

a n d n e w c o m e r s

a l i k e c o n t i n u e s

t o d a y .

7 p m S o u t h s i d e b a r

K u n g Fu Club

{Wu S h u K w a n )

•4-30pm - 6:30pm

Comedy Store,

Piccadilly Circus

C h e a p i s h entry o n a

Sunday.

The Out of Towners

c C \ V " y

on1- . . o ' K r i

,-...2C -.3-5

EastEnders

o m n i b u s

1 . 0 0 , B B C 1

C a t c h u p o n the

eve r p o p u l a r s o a p .

Artists b o o k f a i r

The mnope daq rsrtu

-

Y 9<vw Week

R a n d o m H e a r t s

T h e n e w H a r r i s o n

Fo rd f l i ck o p e n s o n

the 1 9 t h .

N Group

I C U C o m m u n i t y A c t i o n

G r o u p U R G E N T L Y N E E D S

M I N I B U S D R I V E R S f o r t h e

T u e s d a y a n d T h u r s d a y

n i g h t s o u p r u n s .

So if you're over 21, have been driving in

the UK for at least 2 years, and can spare a

couple of hours on Tuesday or Thursday

evenings, then . . .

C o n t a c t N a d a a t lccag@flc .ac.uk

ACCESS FUNDS A U T U M N T E R M 1999

Full-time home students (including EU students

registered as "home" for fees purposes) are

invited to apply for Access Funds this round.

Undergraduate students should note that

applications can only be accepted from those

who have taken out a student loan this session.

First and second year undergraduates are also

required to apply for an additional hardship loan.

Forms are available from Student Finance Office

(334, Sherfield Building, South Ken) or /CU

Reception (South Ken). Contact Student Finance

(x. 58010), Kevin Butcher (x.58064) or Martin

Thomson (x.48067).

Closing Date: 19th

November

2 d x

The Felix Crossword, by Turnip Henry

Answers to 1156:

: Deser ts , E a r l o b e s , A L o n g T ime A g o , J a c o b , Talent, Intoner, O r a t o r , B a n d i c o o t ,

N e w s a g e n t , T icket , Inhabi t , Q u i c h e , Euler, A p h r o d i s i a c s , A d m i t t e d , Totters.

Down: D o o r j a m b , R h o m b i , S igne t , E l im ina te , L l a m a , Senator , A n c i e n t C h i n a , O v e r The

Hi l l s , Trotski , N e c k t i e , O n e - H a n d e d , T h e r m a l s , Tequ i l a , Bedsi t , Tenant , H i-Hat .

Across 3. Vehic le hits d o g s on

the f loor. (7)

8. M a r r i e d barber. (6)

9. G i r l ' s songs , pe rhaps .

(6)

10 . P l ay ing S e g a f o r

years. (4)

1 1. O l d E t o n i a n mixes

Latin. Joy! (7)

14. C o p i e s monkeys . (4)

15 . W a l k to the stars. (4)

1 7. Fall ill in f a n g . N o t

d o i n g very we l l . (7)

1 9 . Sounds like hitting a

symbo l . (4)

2 1 . W a l k t h r o u g h b a n d .

(5)

2 2 . O n l y a butcher has

the s t omach for it. (5)

2 3 . A n i m a l sounds false.

(4)

2 4 . S igna l to a swel l . (5)

2 5 . Cutt ings are miss ing

f rom step backwa rds .

(5)

2 7 . D i s a g r e e a b o u t

a g u e ? Right. (5)

2 8 . Ineffectual c lothes. (4)

3 0 . Bits of trouser for the

books . (4-3)

3 1 . Spir itual bear. (4)

3 3 . Race a r o u n d a field

(4)

3 5 . Sellers of birds? (7)

3 8 . C o m p a i n to the f ish.

(4)

3 9 . Process summary . (6)

4 0 . Bui ld iota up. Par-

ad ise . (6)

41 . C a l l i n g forth bit of

evo lv ing m o n a r c h . (7)

And the winner is.

S HtlWOSK

Back in Issue 1 1 5 4 Felix g a v e you

the c h a n c e to w in a p a i r o f Euro-

l ines o n e m o n t h c o a c h p a s s e s

a r o u n d E u r o p e . A mass i ve n u m b e r

of p e o p l e en te red the contes t , a n d ,

f ina l l y , the w i n n e r s c a n be

a n n o u n c e d .

But first, the answers . S o m e -

w h a t unsu rp r i s i ng l y , every s i n g l e

entry that I s a w go t the answers

right (which may have h a d s o m e -

thing to d o with the fac t that they

were c o n t a i n e d in the a c c o m p a n y -

ing b lu rb - see , y o u r t e a che r s w e r e

r ight, r e a d i n g is impor tan t ) . A n y -

how, just in c a s e y o u ' r e still interest-

e d , I was l o o k i n g f o r the f o l l o w i n g

r e sponses :

• T h e c a p i t a l o f H u n g a r y is

Budapes t .

• A Euro l ines pass starts at a n

u n b e l i e v a b l y c h e a p £ 1 5 9 if

you ' r e u n d e r 2 6 .

• G o t h e n b e r g is s i tuated in Swe-

d e n

S o , n o w that 's out of the way,

d o w n to the impor t an t stuff - the

winners ident i t ies . W e l l , af ter a p p l y -

ing the w o n d r o u s invent ion that is

the of f i c ia l Felix w inne romete r™ , I

w a s s tunned t o d i s c o v e r that the

w i n n e r wasn ' t s o m e o n e f r o m the

of f i ce , a n d was in fact a pa i r of

Down 1. Sp ice Sp ice . (6)

2. C h o c o l a t e g o d . (4)

3. Tasty speaker. (4)

4. O no! Point to glass. (4)

5. Stuart c a n keep the

rhythm. (4)

6. 1.3 yards by 4 metres.

(4)

7. Two m e n p lease V i c to-

ria. (6)

12 Sa i l r o u n d a n i ck-

n a m e . (5)

1 3. Silly person 1 d o con-

fuse in it. (5)

15 " B i r d - s e e d " , E d w a r d

sang . (7)

16 Vita l beans . (7)

17 Ar ranger has lillies or

roses, initially, in fist. (7)

18 G o Sou th a r o u n d

Beat le to be non-Mex-

icans . (7)

1 9 . Berry we mis taken ly

used to m a k e beer. (7)

2 0 . M i s t ake love in Al ista ir

for breath ing . (7)

2 6 . Used to suck warts up. (5)

2 7 . A g o d d e s s of art will

entertain. (5)

2 9 . A c h u r c h in R o m e

looks after o r p h a n . (6)

3 2 . R A G up a m d left

imper i a l because of a

plant? (6)

3 4 . Eastern study is like

the g a r d e n . (4)

3 5 . E m o t i o n f rom g o i n g

qu ick l y ; not south. (4)

3 6 . B e n d pervers ion . (4)

3 7 . Bullet fo r g a r d e n pest?

(4)

3 8 . C u t up pork. (4)

b o n a f ide Imper ia l C o l l e g e stu-

dents . A n d the i r n a m e s ? They were

(or i n d e e d are) :

Terrence Choi

&

Michelle Choi

C o n g r a t u l a t i o n s - p l e a s e c o m e to

the Felix o f f i ce (s i tuated in the por-

t a c a b i n s o u t s i d e o f the Phys ics

d e p a r t m e n t , h i d d e n b e h i n d the l i q -

u id n i t rogen tank) o r e m a i l the e d i -

tor [ f e l i x @ i c . a c . u k ] so that w e c a n

a r r a n g e fo r you to to rece ive you r

pr izes . Fo r m o r e c h a n c e s to w i n ,

see p a g e 2 2 .

5 s 3

Team Bo

Bo Goes to Brighton '99

At the c r a c k of d a w n the in t rep id

tw o , Pau l a n d M a r k , g o t ou t of b e d

a n d h e a d e d f o r the B o ' [short f o r

B o a n g e r e s , C i t y & G u i l d s C o l l e g e

U n i o n ' s m o t o r i s e d m a s c o t ]

g a r a g e . Last S u n d a y w a s the

b i g g e s t d a y of B o ' s yea r , t he

B r igh ton run .

A l o n g with five h u n d r e d o t h e r

ve te ran ca r s , B o ' h e a d e d to H y d e

Park a n d the s tar t ing l ine . Pau l

knew he h a d f o r g o t t e n s o m e t h i n g

until a s i lver c a r s u d d e n l y p u l l e d up

in f ront o f h i m . O u t j u m p e d P ro fes-

sor B r i s c o e , the D e a n of C & G . N o

w o n d e r B o ' w a s g o i n g so we l l -

w e ' d f o r g o t t e n the p a s s e n g e r .

E ight o ' c l o c k w a s B o ' s s ta r t ing

t ime a n d he set off f r o m the start

l ine d o i n g his o w n i m p r e s s i o n of

n ine t h r e e - l e g g e d ho r se s in a n

at tempt to c a t c h u p wi th C l e m , the

R S M m a s c o t . U n f o r t u n a t e l y in the

twenty-five years be tween the c o n -

s t ruc t ion of the two m a s c o t s , they

h a d learn t h o w to m a k e e n g i n e s -

so B o ' h a d n o c h a n c e .

I be l i e ve the D e a n w o u l d l ike

to say the journey w a s uneven t fu l .

W h a t he d i d say is he w a s

i m p r e s s e d with B o ' s r o a d h o l d i n g .

U n f o r t u n a t e l y Pau l m a d e ful l use of

his p i lot l ike r e a c t i o n s a n d very lit-

tle use of the b r a k e s . H e is yet to

u n d e r s t a n d that n inety-seven yea r

o l d ca r s a re not m e a n t to out

a c c e l e r a t e a n d o v e r t a k e m o d e r n

v eh i c l e s .

A f t e r a r e m a r k a b l y s m o o t h t r ip ,

B o ' a r r i v e d in B r i g h t o n to be g ree t -

ed by a B o o m a l a k a . This y ea r a l l

the m o t o r i z e d m a s c o t s m a d e it to

B r i gh ton a n d the R S M even j o i n e d

C & G f o r d inner . C o p i o u s q u a n t i -

ties of w i n e w e r e d r u n k , e s pe c i a l l y

by M i k e the D e r r i c k r ider. The s to-

ries of his h a n g o v e r wi l l be l e g -

endary .

T h a n k s s h o u l d be e x t e n d e d to

Paul the B o ' d r i ve r a n d M i k e the

De r r i c k r ider f o r a l ! the i r w o r k in

ge t t ing the v e h i c l e s ready , P ro fes-

sor B r i s coe f o r b e i n g w i l l i n g to

s p e n d the d a y f r e ez i n g in the b a c k

of B o ' a n d Stuart H a m i l t o n for

o r g a n i s i n g a f an t a s t i c d inner .

IMPERIAL'S NEW

SPORTS CENTRE

n

)

s

s

g

s

h

d

y

d

when : 12pm, thursday 18 november

where : union dining hall (on the

first floor of the union building)

contact tim trailor

[ dpcs@ic.ac.uk ] for details

U Jazz and Rock presents...

TEXKET

L T

ALONE

(and

In DBs on :

Thursday 18 th November

First band on stage @8pm

FREE!!!!!!

4 t x

Reserves show the rest how it's done Football - 5ths and 6ths

Sat 6th N o v 1 9 9 9

U C L VI 1

IC VI 8

This f ixture s a w the return of the

mighty sixths to the g r o u n d w h e r e

we t h r a s h e d the U C L w h i p p i n g

boys 7 - 1 in the c u p last s e a s o n .

The journey w a s a contes t in itself -

a b r e a k d o w n in c o m m u n i c a t i o n left

us w i thout a keeper . The m a t c h

started untidi ly, wi th the w i n d a n d

wet p i tch c a u s i n g p r o b l e m s fo r

both s ides . M a r k , o u r new m i d f i e l d -

er (and a g a m e s e d i t o r of this

e s t e e m e d paper , m igh t I add ) f e r o -

c ious ly wen t f o r the b o b . . . knees of

their p layers , s l i d ing in f r o m a l l

ang l e s a n d near l y a lways w i n n i n g

the b a l l ! A f te r p r o b i n g the i r bo x

severa l t imes , IC s c o r e d a lbe i t by

a n o w n g o a l f r o m a D a n M cross .

W e s c o r e d a g a i n s o o n a f t e rwards ,

a D a n W pena l ty f r o m a fou l o n

D a n M . O K , so p e r h a p s w e h a d

been lucky so f a r but o u r th i rd was

pure c l ass , D a n M p a s s e d to D a n

W w h o f l i c ke d it b a c k a n d the shot

hit the t o p corner . In the s e c o n d

half the D a n a n d D a n s h o w started

a g a i n but f a i l ed to b reak t h r o u g h .

I n s t e a d , A n i m e s h , w i th R iva l-

d o e s q u e b r i l l i a n c e r an f r o m

ha l fway (with the ba l l f o r o n c e ! ) ,

thrust t h r o u g h the ho le in their back

l ine a n d l o b b e d his shot ove r the

keepe r into the net. A n o t h e r o w n

g o a l put us 5 up a n d the g a m e lost

a l ! e d g e . W i th 2 0 m i n s to g o , J a m e s

d e c i d e d to start p l ay ing a n d s c o r e d

a hatr ick. Blatant ly of fs ide (their ref.

was awful) for his first, no . two

c a m e f r o m smar t p lay by M a t t o n

the left, w h o , a b n g with Rob a n d

Luis, w o r k e d hard al l g a m e even

t h o u g h out of pos i t i on . Before no.

3 , they pu l l ed o n e back . A l ong ba l l

f r o m the b a c k went o v e r the other-

wise exce l lent cent re b a c k pa i r ing

of the two A l ex ' s to first-rate s tand in

keepe r Leon . The s l ippery wet ba l l

fell f r o m his g love less h a n d s into the

path of their o n r u s h i n g striker w h o

gently s t roked it in . Fur ious at this

l apse , A l ex Jekyl l n' Hyde went in

sea r ch of a g o a l , s t e am ing f o rwa rd

l ike J o n a h L o m u but g e t t i n g

n o w h e r e be fo re J a m e s s e a l e d it

with his th i rd , a s im p l e n u t m e g a n d

the last k ick of the g a m e .

S c h o o l O f P h a r m a c y 1

IC V 3

After a m i d w e e k b r e a k f o r the

t e a m , with n o m a t c h o n W e d n e s -

day, it w a s b a c k to the se r i ou s

bus iness o f the l e a g u e o n S a t u r -

day.

W i t h a r e c o r d of 2 w i n s , 1 loss

so far, we n e e d e d to put t o g e t h e r

a run of v i c to r i e s to c l i m b the

t a b l e . S O P we re last y e a r ' s w h i p -

p i n g b o y s , l o s i n g a l l but 2 of the i r

g a m e s , s o w e f a n c i e d o u r

c h a n c e s o f b o o s t i n g tha t g o a l d i f-

f e r e n c e .

A f t e r t a k i n g 2 h o u r s by

m i n i b u s to t rave l f r o m S o u t h K e n

to Turkey Street , just by the M 2 5

in N o r t h L o n d o n , w e w e r e in n o

m o o d to s l ip u p , a n d s ta r ted the

g a m e br ight ly with sk i ppy r e tu rn-

ing to C e n t r e B a c k w h i l e So l w a s

away , g i v i n g " t i g e r " Rob f ree r e ign

at r ight b a c k . Th is s o o n p r o v e d to

be a g r e a t m o v e , with the 1 st g o a l

c o m i n g f r o m D i n o ' h e a d , the a g e -

ing beas t f e e d i n g off a g rea t c ross

f r o m Tiger , w h i c h left the i r k e e p e r

f l a p p i n g a n d h e l p l e s s . 1 -0 . IC

n o w c l i c k e d in to g e a r with g rea t

m i d f i e l d w o r k f r o m JP in par t i cu la r .

H is r e w a r d w a s a c h a n c e to p i c k

u p the b a l l o n r ight , d r i v e i n f i e l d ,

a n d let fly a f a n t a s t i c sho t w h i c h

s a i l e d o v e r the k e e p e r i n to the f a r

c o r n e r f o r a m a n - o f - t h e - m a t c h

w i n n i n g g o a l , a n d it w a s 2- 0 .

M o r e w a s t o c o m e , as D i n o ' s pe r-

s i s t ence o n the left l ed to a s h a r p

c ross to the c e n t r e , w h e r e " S p a c e -

m a n " Love l l w a i t e d to a p p l y a n

exper t f i n i sh f o r 3-0 .

W e w e r e n o w c r u i s i n g , a n d

t h o u g h t the g a m e w a s w o n by ha l f

t i m e . U n f o r t u n a t e l y w e t o o k o u r

f o o t off the p e d a l , a n d in the s e c -

o n d ha l f it w a s a l l S O P , w i th o n l y

g r e a t w o r k by B u z z Fos te r at left

b a c k , a l o n g wi th D i j , s k i p p y a n d

D a v e p r e v e n t i n g m o r e t h a n the

o n e S O P h e a d e r . S o , a d i s a p -

p o i n t i n g resul t in the e n d , as we

just n e v e r g o t s t a r t ed a f te r the

b r e a k . 3 p o i n t s , but s t a n d a r d s

n e e d to g o h i g h e r if p r o m o t i o n is

g o i n g to l o o k l ikely. Lucki ly , a

love l y w a r m 5 t h t e a m ba th a f te r

the g a m e h e l p e d k e e p sp i r i t s

h i g h . . .

Ultimate projectile is force to be reckoned with Ultimate Frisbee

Fr iendly Fire T o u r n a m e n t

W e d n e s d a y 3 r d N o v e m b e r s a w the

first g a m e s of the new yea r fo r the

D i s c D o c t o r s (the Imper i a l C o l l e g e

U l t ima te Fr isbee team) in the f o r m

of a fr iend!y fire t o u r n a m e n t at

Regen ts Park . K i n g s a n d U C L

s t e p p e d up to play, a n d as there

were so m a n y of us , w e split into

two t e a m s - a D a r k s i d e , a n d a

Lights ide.

The D a r k s i d e

The D a r k s i d e p l a ye d K ings first,

w h o s e recent a d d i t i o n w a s a n ex

D i s c d o c t o r s p l aye r (and ISE s tu-

dent) . W e o p e n e d with a g o r g e o u s

cut f r o m M a r t i n into the o p p o s i -

t i o n s ' e n d z o n e . U n f o r t u n a t e l y

K i n g s r e p l i e d w i th t w o c h e e k y

points . The D a r k s i d e felt they h a d

had the i r c h a n c e a n d p r o m p t l y t o o k

three points o n the trot. Jez k indly

m a d e a n a p p e a r a n c e , a n d with

b rushes f i rmly f ixed in ou r m i n d s ,

w e f i n i s h e d w h i t e w a s h i n g K i n g s ,

t a k i n g t h e m a p a r t with 1-2 c o m -

b o s f r o m " W a t e r b o y " a n d W o r s h i p

M e . W e f ina l l y bea t t h e m 1 3-6.

U C L we re up next. " J a b b a the

Tat " kept up his ex t reme ly s o l i d

a n d t ight d e f e n c e , with " T h e Ital-

i an S t a l l i o n " , a l t h o u g h new w a s

m a k i n g s o m e very tasty cuts f r o m

the s tack a n d w a s r e w a r d e d with

s o m e n i ce passes to h i m . The

h a m m e r i n g of U C L w a s shor t a n d

swee t , a n d a l t h o u g h we d i d n ' t

b a g e l t h e m , we still t r o u n c e d t h e m

1 3 - 4 .

F ina l ly , b e f o r e it go t t o o d a r k

to p lay , we p l a y e d the L igh t s ide .

A l t h o u g h not rea l l y a m a t c h , we

still b e a t t h e m 6 - 2 , a n d W o r s h i p

M e a n d M a r t i n d e m o n s t r a t e d that

p r a c t i c e m a k e s per fec t , b e c a u s e

o n the i r 5 0 t h a t t e m p t , they f i na l l y

m a n a g e d to h u c k it into the e n d

z o n e fo r a po in t .

The L igh ts ide

O u r first m a t c h of the d a y w a s

a g a i n s t U C L . W i t h i n the first ha l f

h o u r we we re up 5 - 0 . The a r r i v a !

of C a t c h s tar ted o u r p l u m m e t to

the dep ths o f despa i r . W i t h i n 15

minu tes we we re level at 7 a l l , h o w

c o u l d we be d o i n g so b a d l y ? A f t e r

a n h o u r the g a m e w a s c a p p e d at

1 1 po in t s , with the sco re 10-9 to

U C L . A l l we n e e d e d was 2 s t ra ight

po in t s to sea l v ictory. The first

c a m e f r o m a q u i c k r e s p o n s e to o u r

i m p e n d i n g d o o m . But t h e i r

r e s p o n s e was just t o o g o o d a n d

they s to le the g a m e f r o m us. 1 1 -

10 to U C L .

The s e c o n d m a t c h w a s a g a i n s t

K i n g s . W e d idn ' t d i s a p p o i n t o u r

a d o r i n g f ans wi th s o m e s t o r m i n g

p lay a n d s o l i d d e f e n c e . They d idn ' t

s t and a c h a n c e , p e r h a p s a little

u n f a i r but w e still m a n a g e d a w in

wi th the f i na l s c o r e 1 2 - 7 to the

L igh t s ide .

O u r f i na l a n d m o s t c h a l l e n g -

ing m a t c h w a s a g a i n s t ou r se l v e s

(?). O K a g a i n s t the D a r k s i d e . W i t h

As t ro- fuck h a v i n g g o n e to w o r k w e

w e r e f o r c e d to pay i r o n - m a n (no

subs) . W e star ted off w e l l , but r e a l -

ly c o u l d n ' t be a r s e d . The f ina l

s t raw c a m e w h e n B a b y s u b b e d off

in ju red a n d in the true spir i t o f the

g a m e they g a v e us the i r W a t e r b o y

as a r e p l a c e m e n t . W i t h that we

qui t with the s c o r e at 6 - 2 to the

D a r k s i d e .

A spec i a l m e n t i o n has to g o out

to C o n s t a n t Pressure w h o c o u r a -

g e o u s l y m a n a g e d 5 minutes o f a

m a t c h , then a d o p t e d his pos i t i on of

the m o n t h - the s ide l i ne .

5 t 5

C J ^ g C^ggj m $ \ \ n n y ' 5_

Football ICSM Football

(continued from back page)

a l i gh tn ing start w i th a ha t tr ick

with in the first twenty m inu tes . A l l

three g o a l s i l lus t ra ted his g o a l

s co r i ng p rowess but the p ick of the

b u n c h w a s the th i rd set up by a n

unself ish pass off the g o a l post by

G e o g r a p h y teacher .

The t e a m the re laxed expec t ing

a w a l k o v e r but were b r o k e n up by

a t ex tbook short c o r n e r by the

o p p o s i t i o n . F r o m the restart IC

were b a c k into a c t i o n a n d a t tack-

ing f o r m as the G e o g r a p h y t e a c h e r

got the just deserts f o r his p h e n o m -

e n a l m id f i e l d v i s i on a n d i nd i v i dua l

skill with a hat trick fo reve r l o g g e d

in a l l o u r m inds . Af ter a t ex tbook

short c o r n e r str ike, o u r m a i n m a n

d r i b b l e d past 5 m e n a n d struck the

ba l l f irmly past the k e e p e r into the

left corner . The c r o w d wen t w i l d

a n d gir ls s tar ted t h r o w i n g the i r

kn ickers o n the f i e l d , as G e o g r a -

phy t e a c h e r c a m e b a c k to strike his

th i rd . G i l e s t ame l y s c o r e d a sev-

enth , roo f ing the ba l l into the net.

A sensa t i ona l t e a m p e r f o r m -

a n c e w o r t h y of the s c o r e l i n e

a g a i n s t a f i r ed a n d o r g a n i s e d

t e a m .

IC I 1

Roya l H o l l o w a y I 0

A n o t h e r day , a n o t h e r g a m e a n d

a n o t h e r v i c to ry f o r the m igh t y

f irsts. T h e f ine f o r m of recen t

weeks c o n t i n u e d s t ra ight f r o m the

kick off. Reso lu te d e f e n d i n g , f ine

p a s s i n g in the m id f i e l d a n d v a r i e d

m o v e m e n t f r o m . the f o r w a r d s

c o m b i n e d to l eave the boys f r o m

H o l l o w a y in a d a z e . Early in the

s e c o n d half , wi th the w i n d in o u r

sa i l s , F o u l s t o n e w h i p p e d in a c o r -

ner that f o u n d the b o o t o f R ich .

T h e resu l t ing sho t c u r l e d past the

b e m u s e d H o l l o w a y k e e p e r into

the roo f o f the net. The t e a m

m a i n t a i n e d its i m p e n e t r a b l e

integr i ty unt i l the f ina l wh i s t l e ,

h o l d i n g ou t f o r a f ine victory.

Th is result l eaves the firsts in a

s t r o n g p o s i t i o n in the B U S A

l e a g u e : B r ing o n the rest of the

coun t r y !

C a r r i e d o v e r f r o m Sa tu rday

3 0 / 1 0 / 9 9 (sorry fo r the delay )

R U M S 1

I C S M I 3

I C S M c o n t i n u e d t h e i r w i n n i n g

s t reak by b e a t i n g R U M S at Turkey

Street . F o r m e d as a resul t o f the

m e r g e r b e t w e e n Roya l Free a n d

U C H , R U M S h a d the c a p a b i l i t y t o

p r o v i d e t r icky o p p o s i t i o n . H o w e v -

er, I C S M h a d the u p p e r h a n d in

the first ha l f a n d t o o k the l e a d

a f te r s o m e c l e v e r w i n g p l a y resu l t-

e d in J o n a t h a n K e n n e d y pu t t i ng in

a n e xce l l e n t c ross f o r K a s h A k h t a r

to h e a d h o m e . T h e l e a d w a s d o u -

b l e d 1 0 m i n u t e s la ter w h e n J e r e -

my W e l c h p o u n c e d o n a l o o s e

b a l l a f te r a c o r n e r a n d t h u n d e r e d

h o m e f r o m c l o s e r a n g e .

T h e g a m e b e c a m e a lot m o r e

p h y s i c a l in the s e c o n d ha l f w i th

lots of late t a c k l e s f l y ing in f r o m

a l l o v e r the p l a c e . J ez W e l c h l ed

the w a y by f l y i n g in w h e r e a n g e l s

f e a r to t r e a d , a n d w a s a b l y f o l -

l o w e d by the rest o f his t e a m -

m a t e s w h o s h o w e d the p a s s i o n

a n d t e a m w o r k tha t has b e e n a

d e f i n i n g f e a t u r e o f the s e a s o n so

far.

T h e I C S M d e f e n c e f a r e d we l l

a g a i n s t a p o t e n t a t t a ck a n d E a m -

m o n R a b i e in p a r t i c u l a r h e l p e d

n e u t e r the R U M S s t r i ke rs . The

I C S M t e a m lost its w a y s o m e w h a t

a s the g a m e d e g e n e r a t e d in to a

p h y s i c a l ba t t l e , but t hen w r a p p e d

the g a m e up wi th 2 0 m i n u t e s left

a s K a s h A k h t a r p o u n c e d o n a

f u m b l e by the R U M S k e e p e r a n d

b a c k h e e l e d the b a l l b e y o n d the

d e s p a i r i n g d e f e n d e r s i n to the net .

R U M S s c o r e d a so l i t a r y g o a l

n e a r the e n d a f te r a g o a l m o u t h

s c r a m b l e , but by t h e n I C S M h a d

the g a m e w e l ! a n d truly in the

b a g .

IN BRIEF

Ladies Rugby

Bart 's 0

IC V i rg ins w a l k o v e r

B e c a u s e of o u r s u p e r i o r ski l ls

A n d na tura l abi l i ty, this w e e k ' s

Rugby m a t c h was the eas ies t yet.

Tries we re

S c o r e d left, r ight a n d cen t r e ,

W i t h every p l aye r

In the s q u a d s c o r i n g

M u l t i p l e points a n d n o in jur ies .

Pass ing ski l ls great ly i m p r o v e d ,

E n a b l i n g a f ine p e r f o r m a n c e .

D r o p p e d ba l l s we re a th ing

O f the past - al l that t r a i n ing hey!

Unfor tunate l y , we c o u l d n ' t stay ou t

The re a l l day. Lots o f love Bar t ' s .

W e k i c k e d y o u r butts!! I

s

y

r

t

e

Netball

G K T 2 5

IC I 2 4

W e a r r i ved at the cour t just as the

r a i n s t a r t e d . T h e s c e n e w a s

w i n ds w e p t , de so l a t e a n d the G A

w a s at least 8 foo t ta l l . G r e a t . This

m e a n t that Rache l h a d n o c h a n c e

of ge t t ing r e b o u n d s a n d there fore

A l e x h a d the nove l task of m a r k i n g

bo th the G S a n d the G A in the c i r-

c le . We l l d o n e A l e x . At ha l f t ime

the sco res we re evens . But then the

curse of the th i rd qua r t e r struck

a g a i n a n d we fel l b e h i n d 1 5 - 2 2

with 15 minutes to g o . S o m e f a b -

u lous p lay f r o m the gir ls in the

centre (Dorothy , Becky a n d Paula)

a n d s o m e hot s h o o t i n g f r o m those

starlets R e b e k a h a n d S a r a h s a w us

pul l it b a c k . Nex t w e e k w e ' r e

t r e k k i n g o u t to W y e . . . f i nge r s

c r o s s e d .

Sports p layers b e w a r e !

Fel ix 's c r a c k t e a m of sports

reporters wil l be at H a r l i n g t o n

o n W e d n e s d a y - so w e a r y o u r

best kit!

Tennis

I O s tenn is s e a s o n b e g a n wi th a

d i s a p p o i n t i n g s tar t . D e s p i t e

M a g i c H a n i a n d C a p t a i n J u l i e n

d i s p l a y i n g g r e a t sk i l l s in t h e i r

impress i ve v i c t o r i e s , O l i v i e r a n d

A n t o n i s we re severe ly c r u s h e d by

Roya l H o l l o w a y ' s " b i z a r r e " t a l -

en ts . The s c o r e w a s a l l e v e n

a g a i n a f t e r the d o u b l e s bu t the set

lost in o n e of the d o u b l e s p r o v e d

to be f a t a l .

F ina l S co r e : IC 3-3 R H U L but

R H U L w o n 7-6 in sets.

M a t c h 2 of IC ' s c a m p a i g n

qu i ck l y t u rned into a n i g h t m a r e f o r

U C H . F i e ld ing the s a m e t e a m that

h a d lost 6-0 last year, U C H were

o n c e m o r e w h i t e w a s h e d . P l a yboy

C h r i s a n d o u r G e r m a n p r o d i g i e s

J an a n d C h r i s t o p h e a c h t h r a s h e d

the i r o p p o n e n t s , d r o p p i n g o n l y

o n e g a m e e a c h . M e d i c J a s o n

d e c i d e d to d o the s a m e on l y after

h a v i ng lost the first set. In d o u b l e s ,

o u r G e r m a n d u o c r u s h e d the i r

o p p o n e n t s wh i l e Stuart a n d Remy

f in i shed the job with a c l e a n 6-0 ,

6-0.

F ina l S c o r e : IC 6-0 U C H

Ladies Football

IC I 5

Q M W I 1

O u r s t r o n g 10 p l a y e r t e a m h e l d

the g a m e w e l l w i th a n e xce l l e n t

s tar t a n d s h o w e d d o m i n a t i o n

t h r o u g h o u t the m a t c h .

H e l g a v o n C r i c k , H e d g e ,

H a r d K a u r a n d F r e n c h i e we re

d a z z l i n g in d e f e n c e a n d m i d f i e l d -

ers ' D u m b a n d D u m b e r ' , G i r l -

f r i e n d a n d T h e M a y o r s h o w e d

c o n t i n u o u s s k i l l . It d i d n ' t t a ke

m u c h f o r the t a l e n t e d C l a r k Kent

to b e a t t h e ( l a r g e r t h a n l i fe)

Q M W d e f e n d e r s . H e r 2 a d d e d to

T h e M a y o r s first g o a l of the s e a -

s o n m e a n t w e w e r e 3 nil up at

ha l f t i m e . C l a r k ' s f i n a l g o a l w a s

shor t l y f o l l o w e d by a l u c k y sho t

f r o m the o p p o s i t i o n but J azzy Jeff

b r o u g h t the s c o r e t o 5 - 1 , f i na l l y

s t r i k ing o n t a r g e t . G o a l i e G ' n ' T

h e l d he r g r o u n d we l l w i th h e r

e x c e l l e n t d i ves s a v i n g the day.

It w a s a tres m a g n i f i q u e p e r -

f o r m a n c e a l l r o u n d a n d T h e

S h a d y L a d i e s w a l k e d a w a y wi th

style.

t x

SPORT Imperial rack up the points

Rugby

Sponsored by ^ALTRAN

IC I 3 0 t a k i n g in t o o m a n y sa l ty sub- that is g o o d a b o u t the g a m e of

Univers i ty of Essex 0 s tances . IC 2 n d X V still p rove to be rugby. Right f r o m the start the IC

a f o r ce to be r e c k o n e d wi th , run- p a c k we re r a m p a n t , u n t a m e d a n d

A n o t h e r day , a n o t h e r set of v i c t ims . n ing s o m e f l o w i n g p lay just a f ter w i l d ! R U M S c lear l y h a d n o a n s w e r

Af ter two hours o n the c o a c h , the kick off that even the A l l -b l a cks to the "w i t chc ra f t- l i ke " ski l ls of IC.

boys were s l o w star t ing a n d the for- w o u l d have b e e n p r o u d of, be fore The first try c a m e f r o m a n insp i ra-

wa rds never real ly go t it t o g e t h e r a l l o u r first try was put d o w n in the cor- t i ona l i n te r cep t ion f r o m the IC cap-

g a m e . The first try c a m e after sus- ner. O n c e first b l o o d h a d been t a i n , D a v e " B o y o " Wh i t e with s o m e

t a ined pressure with Ricky M a r t i n d r a w n , the f l o o d gates o p e n e d a n d sexy suppo r t p lay f r o m S a m Ba le

d i v ing in at the corner . T h e n G a y r o there w a s no c h a n c e of s t o p p i n g a n d A k i r a . M a n of the m a t c h

s c o r e d the first of two tr ies. Fur ther the i n d o m i t a b l e IC w a r m a c h i n e , D e v o n r a m p a g e d o v e r f r o m the

scores f r o m W o n d e r b o y W i l l i s a n d with the s co re at half t ime b e i n g fa r resu l t ing s c r u m . The f l o o d g a t e s

G a y r o a g a i n c o m p l e t e d a d i s ap- t o o l a rge to coun t . S e c o n d half then o p e n e d a n d IC p u l l e d away,

po in t i ng but w o r k m a n l i k e victory. started in m u c h the s a m e va in with Ha l f t ime c a m e u p o n us unexpect-

They were a b u n c h Essex w i d e b o y s IC c o n t i n u i n g the i r merc i l ess r o m p ed ly d u e to the sho r t ened m a t c h

but we stole the keys to the i r Escorts to victory. Tries c a m e f r o m A l e s s a n - l ength .

a n d s h a g g e d the i r w o m e n . N i c e d r o , R i ch , F rank , J a n , M a t t a n d a T h r o u g h o u t the s e c o n d half the

o n e . c o u p l e e a c h f r o m N i c k , Texz a n d p a c k were d o m i n a n t with s o m e

Huy. Next t ime we are a g a i n o n o u r g o o d l ineout play by J a m e s I re land .

Univers i ty o f Essex 0 t rave ls , this t ime to ra id N o r w i c h ' s Little o p p o s i t i o n was o f f e red by the

IC II 6 3 U E A wi th m o r e tr ies to fo l l ow . f l o u n d e r i n g R U M S m id f i e l d a n d the

W a t c h this s p a c e . tries were s c o r i n g themse l ves . A

Af ter a two h o u r c o a c h journey, we total of e l even in a l l c o m i n g f r o m

ar r i ved in s o m e g o d - f o r s a k e n hel l IC III 6 9 D e v o n ( 3 ) , O l l i e ( 2 ) , P au l ( 2 ) ,

ho le in the dep ths of Essex. IC t o o k R U M S III 0 J a m e s ( l ) , A k i r a ( l ) , D a v e ( l ) , Stu-

to the f i e ld wi th s o m e n o t a b l e a r t ( l ) . J a m e s W e l c h s lot ted o v e r 7

absen tees i n c l u d i n g G l T i m , w h o O n the 10 th of N o v e m b e r , Ha r l i ng- con v e r s i on s in w indy c o n d i t i o n s ,

had a d o d g y s t o m a c h d u e to par- ton w i tnessed a c e l e b r a t i o n of a l l N i c e !

Hockey: Firsts draw, seconds win Hockey

IC I 1 Af ter a n insp i r a t i ona l half t ime So there we g o , a 1 -1 draw. But

G K T 1 ta lk , the t e a m d e c i d e d to p lay ! the mens 1 sx XI a re still u n b e a t e n

S o m e g o o d a t t a c k i n g p l a y by a n d g o i n g s t rong in B U S A . Role o n

Turn ing up a n h o u r a n d a half J a m b o , H e r p e s , P ink G a s h a n d U C L a n d the m e d i c s ,

be fo re the g a m e w e h a d plenty of 11 + s a w IC un lucky not to take the

t ime to ta lk a b o u t t e a m plays a n d l ead at the start o f the 2 n d half. IC II 7

tact ics . How ev e r , a f ter a f ew min- Th is b a d luck c o n t r i v e d with a R H C 3

utes w e h a d re tu rned to the v i l l age short ie b l o w n as the ba l l went into

style h o c k e y seen in the first g a m e the b a c k of the net. The s e c o n d s built o n recent f o r m

of the s e a s o n . But lucki ly, af ter a The i r k e e p e r ' s g o o d f o rm c o n - wi th a c o n v i n c i n g w i n w h i c h

G . M i n g e r o w n g o a l w e saw s o m e t i nued as he s a v e d Pink G a s h ' s ensures a t o p spot f in ish in the i r

c h a m p a g n e , 1 1 + g i v i ng us the de f l e c t i on with his a rmp i t a n d 2 B U S A meri t l e a g u e with a g a m e to

e q u a l i s e r cour tesy of J a m b o just m i n u t e s of sho t s t o p p i n g e v e n s p a r e . B e r m u d a t r i ang le p r o v i d e d

be fore half t ime . t h o u g h he d idn ' t rea l i se it. (continued p35 col. 1)

S C O R E B O A R D

B A D M I N T O N

IC 1 st 5 - 2 U C L 1st

F E N C I N G

IC M e n 2 4 - 3 K ings

IC W o m e n 7 - 1 1 K ings

F O O T B A L L (Mens)

IC 1st XI 1 - 0 R H U L 1st XI

IC 2 n d XI 4 - 2 R H U L 2 n d XI

IC 3 r d XI 4 - 0 Barts

IC 4 th XI w / o R U M S

IC 5 th XI 3 - 1 S o P

IC 6th XI 8 - 1 U C L 6th XI

I C S M 1 st 3 - 1 R U M S 1 st

F O O T B A L L (Womens )

IC XI 5 - 1 Q M W XI

H O C K E Y (Mens)

IC 1st XI 1 - 1 G K T 1st XI

IC 2 n d XI 7 - 3 R H U L 2 n d XI

IC 3 r d XI w / o Bar ts

N E T B A L L

I C l s t X I 2 4 - 2 5 G K T

R U G B Y (Mens)

IC 1 st XI 3 2 - 0 Essex 1 st XI

IC 2 n d XI 6 3 - 0 Essex 2 n d XI

IC 3 r d XI 6 9 - 0 Essex 3 r d XI

R U G B Y (Womens )

IC X V w/o Barts XV

V O L L E Y B A L L

IC M e n

IC W o m e n 3

K C L

0 K C L

T E N N I S

IC M e n 6 - 0 U C H

IC W o m e n 4 - 2 U C L