Victims, Villains and Heroes
Managing Emotions in the Workplace
With Don Phin
Victims, Villains and Heroes
Managing Emotions in the Workplace
With Don Phin
Question:Question:
Have you ever Have you ever fantasized about fantasized about going to work and going to work and having nobody to having nobody to manage?manage?
Remember this:Remember this:
IF it doesn’t make IF it doesn’t make sense…sense…
……don’t try to don’t try to make sense out of make sense out of it!it!
Shakespeare said…Shakespeare said…
All the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances.
And one man in his time plays many parts.”
The Plot
Victim Villain Hero
Portrait of the VictimPortrait of the Victim
Victims in the WorkplaceVictims in the Workplace
• 100+ year battle
• control is the main theme
• manifested in legal system
Why Play Victim ???Why Play Victim ???
Because….it
feels good!
Portrait of the VillainPortrait of the Villain
We All Play Villain!We All Play Villain!
Can anyone here honestly say… the only time they yelled at someone was in a true emergency?
What Role Do You Think You Are Playing?
What Role Do You Think You Are Playing?
Portrait of the HeroPortrait of the Hero
The Drama of WorkThe Drama of Work
• something feels unfair
• gather evidence, find the lie
• ignites the triumph energy
You own 100% by yourself.
What Would Be Fair?What Would Be Fair?
• You are good and caring
• They are good and caring
• 50/50 seems fair
Emotional InequalityEmotional Inequality
• 20%’rs (victims)
• 80%’rs (villains)
• 80%’rs (negative heroes)
The 20/20 RelationshipThe 20/20 Relationship
The 80/80 RelationshipThe 80/80 Relationship
The 80/20 RelationshipThe 80/20 Relationship
BobBob
The KidThe Kid
Baby, Light My Fire Baby, Light My Fire
• procrastinate
• hurl your pain
• use their energy
Relating at 50/50Relating at 50/50
Playing 40/40Playing 40/40
Moving From 20% to 40%Moving From 20% to 40%
• coax
• encourage
• inspire
Moving from 80% to 40%Moving from 80% to 40%
• let go of control
• be inclusive
• have faith
Speaking For YourselfSpeaking For Yourself
• YOU, YOU, YOU
• use “I” words
• ask them to speak about their experience, not yours
Avoiding ConflictAvoiding Conflict
• “wow, that’s interesting!”
• stay off stage!
• walk and breath
The Reward…The Reward…
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