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Tears Shed
In
Time
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By: M. T. DeStefano
For Jennifer Pesta, the women who brought
me back to life when all had seemed lost.
For Braelyn and Sidney, without you in my life,
this would all be meaningless.
Contents
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Part IScars of the Heart
Loves Impurity
Smile in My
Dreams
One Last Breath
To Keep From
Dying
Same Old SongSublime
Think of the Days
In My Heart
Road Untraveled
My Heart Still
Burns
Another Day,
Another Way
Disappeared
Pieces of
My Soul
Water Will CarryYou Home
With Every Breath
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Part II
Calling Out For
You
The Key
Withdrawn
Live Youre
Dreams
Cant Lose
This Smile
The LastWhat If
Our Life
Dearly
I Would Choose
You
Part IIIThe Journey Begins
Within Our Hearts
Through the
Window
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In between these pages,
are the tears I've shed in time.
This is the story of a man,
who died before he came alive.
From my hand, before your eyes,
upon my whole life dine.
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Part I
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Scars of the HeartIt's hard awakening
with an empty story in your heart.
Wanting to write it,
yet not knowing where to start.
So I say;
a heart with no scars
is no heart at all.To understand true love
you must crumble and fall.
The scars may fade; memories stay
Tears of sadness; screams of rage
Sleepless nights; pain filled days
Still I try to hold it inside,
inside my tortured cage.
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Loves ImpurityAnother cold day
leads to the burning in my heart.
While it eats my soul alive,
I realize this love never had a start.
Truth that binds meFrom the dark side of security
Brings me to the light
To see this loves impurities
Still the tears of my heart
Shatter on the floor
As the desperation I feelSlowly shuts the door
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Hopes that were frozen
Stuck Inside my head
Will come back to kill me
As her destructive words said
She was still with him
We would never be
Love I thought was thereCould not be guaranteed
So I'll keep to myself
I'll try to hold my breath
Until this love comes true
Or until my last breath
Why must my love for youSlowly lead me to my death
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Smile in My DreamsShaking in my arms
a quiver down my spine
my legs are getting weakI'm doing just fine
I wish it wasn't like this
Wish I didn't care at all
There is something about you,
that makes me take the fall.
I try to stand upFeelings got stronger
Wish I would feel
this way no longer
I find myself hurting
believing your lies
it hurts so badly
I can't even cry
The effect you had on me
Was beautiful it seems
It's crazy to know I smile in my dreams
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Then I wake up and you're not by my side
For the very first time
My heart, for you, cried
One Last BreathAs the tears drop and shatter like glass,
I bleed the final words that slowly surpass.
The way I always felt when we were alone,
and how you made me stumble
into the unknown.
I gasped for one last breath,
but I choked on my heart.
I strived for one last taste
as we finally fell apart.
With every word I ever wasted
on your behalf,
I hoped you start to choke
on every single laugh.
As I tried to find your picture
so I could look into your eyes,
to make you feel my pain
one last time.
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To Keep From DyingWho are you and who am I?
Why did we ever give this a try?
I'm myself and you are you
where does this pain come from
that we go through?
You gave your heart and you stole mine
did we jump into this blind?We loved each other every day
so why are you still,
So far away?
We thought our time was always good
didnt turn out the way it should
Now you're with him, you left me here
this was always something I feared
Now it's over, I stopped crying
so I'll stay busy to keep from dying
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Same Old SongShe calls you tonight
She knows somethings wrong
you won't tell heryour heart keeps singing
the same old song
She knows you better
she knew that you were down
you insist on holding back
Self pit in which you drown
Her heart won't change
the way she doesn't feel
you knew your heart
would take time to heal
You try not to let her see you hurt
you already knew
She'd leave your heart in the dirt
No matter how she feels
youll continue to see
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your love for her
will always be
SublimeYou've been gone now, for a long time
I feel as if I never knew you at all
Hopefully I'm jumping the gun
And one day you will call
Even if I want to move on
And get my life on track
I know it's hard to doLove is holding me back
So when I close my eyes
All I see is you
Memories still haunt me
Ones I wish I never knew
When I lose myselfI can't hide from the truth
The love that really killed me
Pushed me away from you
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In my dreams you haunt
My love for you won't let me be
When you stare into my eyes
The pain inside won't set me free
When we look back on the memoriesour best moments make me cry
thats why I hope you understand
we would be better if you try
But if I could catch a falling star
and change the course of time
I'd mend our broken heartsso the rest would stay sublime
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Think of the DaysDedicated to a friend
Today I dropped to my knees
from the trouble of breathing
but it wasn't my health
it was the thought of you leaving
There's nothing they can say
To make these feelings go away
As soon as they start to
Something reminds me of you
That brings me to tears
So full of pain
That I'll feel it for years
Then I think of the days
all the times we shared together
it causes the slightest thing
even the touch from a feather
to bring me back to the thoughts
The anger
the hate
the love
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the fears
But no matter what
I can't stop these tears
In My HeartI had forgotten everything
All the good things in my soul
Than you came into my life
You made me feel whole
You always knew the right thing
You showed me how to giveYou finally opened up my eyes
You showed me how to live
The sweet song of your voice
Will echo forever inside of my head
For all the years to come
Ill think about words Id left unsaidThe words I wished Id said to you
I offer up to you now
I pray that one day maybe
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I could be with you somehow
I could not have grown this way alone
You made my life mean something
And I know that youre the one
That recalled my life from nothing
So I try to be strong
I try to numb the pain
I try to tell myself
Youre coming back today
Even though I know
That you are never coming home
I know you are looking down on me
So Ill never be alone
But now youve disappeared
Forever you are gone
Ill never forget your love
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because in my heart
your soul lives on
Road UntraveledAnother morning comes
As the life I pretend
Becomes the life I keep
The truth of who I am
Is buried deep inside
It remains a road untraveled
For everyone but I
And the mask that hides
The longing in my eyes
Can only do so much
With a secret this hard to hide
Even when hiddenAnd locked away
There are still
Times when I cry
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Then I stop
Ask myself "Why?"
My Heart Still BurnsWhen you look at me
what do you see?A man thats broken?
A man thats free?
Why is it so hard to be myself?
It seems even now
I've lost the key
to be myself, so unlike you
why is this so hard to do?
You'll never understand
What I've been through
Even though
These words are true
I've been through more pain
Than most will ever know
They say time heals wounds
It's going to slow
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Every day that these pieces don't fit
my heart takes,
another hit
How many more can I take?I can't tell you
but it will take much more
before I break.
Another Day, Another WayWith the breath of the sun
we find another dayanother chance to love again
to live life another way
Before you I stood
I dropped to me knees
crying to the sky
"Please set me free."
The wolf lies inside
in the depths of the dark
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my strength has gone out
as quick as a spark
The face in the mirror
Eyes stare me down
He knows who I am
as I start to drown
Within those eyes
I can read the painVisions of dreams
it begins the same
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Desires to be free
as tears fill my eyes
how have I grown
into the person I despise
DisappearedLabel me as missing
Ill never be found
Im running far away
I wont make a soundYoull see my letter
My reflection in your head
Youll wonder how Im doing
If Im better off dead
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Youll never know who I am
I will never reappear
Youll know me as the one
The one that disappeared
Pieces of My SoulTime stands still
your eyes crystalize
I fall into a trance
and then I realize
Pieces of my soul
have shattered on the floor
they begin to form together
when you open up the door
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I was betrayed by confusion
That was left upon your face
Your footsteps disappear
Without a traceNow Im broken and blinded
By overwhelming fear
It now becomes reality
With the drop of the first tear
You will be gone
As morning light hits my cheek
It seems even now
Ive gone farther from my peek
Its farther to fall
As I climb higher
Now my heart
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Will burn with the fire
I will never be free
So this is the last time
These innocent eyes see
Water Will Carry You HomeRaindrops fall like tears from the sky
they dampen my paper
they darken my eyes
And youre,
youre so cold, so lost, so far away
you run for the hills and live for the day
But you,
you cannot race time and win
you cannot call love a sin
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Now youre so destroyed,
so lost, and so afraid, but
you cannot fight these tears
Cause you are no stranger to fears
There can be no chorus for songs of the sea
you curse what you done
you damn what might be
but the water will carry you home
With Every BreathWhen theres nothing to lean on
nothing will support you
what do you fall onwhen all you have are dreams
that in a few simple words
there could be no more screams
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Alone and empty
In a dark silent world
With everything you feel
Made up inside your mindKilling yourself with every breath
Lending out your heart
Hoping it wont lead to death
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Part II
Calling Out For YouLast night I fell into a world I never wanted to leave
You were there with me and everything was perfect
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You whispered to me that I'd never have to worry
But theres a problem in having something with you
Please don't take my heart as something you can use
While I tremble at your words knowing what I could lose
You assured me
That I would be yours
You would be mine
Nothing could come between what we had
I'll take a leap of faith and land in your arms
If you'll just catch me as I fall
Please answer my hearts call
'Cause Im calling out for you to be here with me
I'm calling out to you so that we can find a way
A way to make every breath a moment in each others eyes
Than everything fades and I'm back to reality
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I'm left with only thoughts of what could have been
To me letting you go would be a regretful sin
So I'll live everyday trying to be a better manDreaming that here, you've taken my hand
To walk me down this road through my misery
Please help me to get to the other side
To watch the sunset with you on my arm
Can someone tell me, where is the harm
In dreaming of you
The KeyThese shattered pieces lie like photos
spread across my bedroom floor
Memories flood my existence
as I try to find love once more
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So let me know if its a burden
For you to hold the key
If thats the way it is
Please try and set me freeBut you should know
Id live and die a million lives for you
If for just one moment we could be
Now Im left with one last question,
Did you know hold the key?
WithdrawnAs we make it through these nights
With nothing but our dreamsWe soon begin to realize
Nothing is ever what it seems
Our questions without answers
Like a soul without its mate
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Makes me start to wonder
Can anyone relate,
To these problems I await?
Can you hear these cries,
As I reach out for your hand?
Fighting back these tears
Is something I can't stand
You think you are pushing
Me away until I'm gone
If that was ever an issueWouldn't I already have withdrawn?
I need you to listen
To every silent word I speak
Theres something in this message
That leaves me feeling weak
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If you still dont understand
What I am trying to say
In my final wordsThese feelings I'll convey
My heart is on my sleeve
I hope you know how I feel
Its always been you
That has forced me to reveal
My head over my heel
Live Your DreamsThe first time I saw your smile
My heart began to melt
Words cannot explain
The feelings that I feltIts amazing how your smile
Can touch me at my core
I wasnt ready to walk this path
Now its as if I could sore
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I thought this life would be
much harder than it seems
doing everything I can
to ensure you live your dreamsand the courage I provide
will help you to stand
while doubt can mimic properties
being trapped by quicksand
The option of walking away
Will never cross my mindmy love for you is too strong
for me to ever leave you behind
Cant Lose This SmileIts the way I feel
When we first touched
It seems these feelings
Have become so much
I fell for you so easy
And I never tried to stand
Darkness turns to light
Every time I hold your hand
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Its crazy to think
That for the first time
My heart will not cry
I just cant lose this smileCause you didnt pass me by
I knew from our first moment
that one day wed be in love
its like I had my angel
Sent to me from above
Ill cherish every moment
for youre the best thing in my life
the day cant come fast enough
when you become my wife
The Last What IfWhat if we fell in love?
Our love would last forever
What if this was our last day?
We would spend our time together
What if I never said yes?
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Id spend my whole life hoping
What if we hit speed bumps?
We wont have trouble coping
What if we have all girls?Id protect them with my life
What if they grow up too fast?
Ill prepare to give a lucky man a wife
What if time starts to fly by?
Ill try to make it slow up
What if this is the last What if?Ill know its time to wake up
Our LifeEveryone is looking
for someone to fill the hole
we think,
but dont talk much about it
until we start to lose control
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So we started off as friends
I know it made our love strong
For some time we kept our feelings hidden
But when it came time to revealWe didnt wait too long
Something inside my heart
Recognized fate all along
It was hard to wrap my mind around
Our love as a never ending song
So how do you its love?
I cant tell you;
though I know well last forever
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How do youfeel when youre in love?
Its impossible to explain;
though its something we share together
So how do you know its forever?
Every time I look into your eyes
I see our life together
DearlyIve become a part of
a life I did not create
It seems as if
this was always my fate
Now I have to grow
Into a man of example
This is only what I hope
to be considered a sample
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of the life to come
of the challenges ill face
of the time that I find
my destined place
She continues to teach me
When I thought Id be teaching
I try to earn her approval
but sometimes I feel Im reaching
to be more than I need to be
When I love her dearlyand she loves me for me
That is all Ill ever need this to be
I Would Choose YouFeelings I get
when I look into your eyes
like the sun rising
now touching the sky
Warmth that it brings
only love can create
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Proving our love
to be something great
When I feel your touch
my hair starts to rise
like the wind on your skin
on the coldest of days
If I had to choose
to keep feeling this way
Id still choose you
every single day
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Part III
The Journey BeginsSometimes in life
Things begin to change
how can someone feel that
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Dreams are out of range?
They cling to regrets
In colors of black and white
Missing the big pictureLife taking flight
Spreading its wings
The journey has begun
How is it even possible
That one could ever want to run
Away from their creation?Youre so beautiful and pure
in life theres nothing better
youre the ultimate cure
Within Our HeartsFeeling anxious, hands starting to shake
Dont know how much more I can take
Getting nervous, chest is getting tight
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Hard to debate between wrong and right
Mind is clouded, Im losing all control
This feeling inside has brightened my soul
Thought it would be hard to fill these spacesThats when I looked at my girls faces
Never thought I was capable of feeling this way
Loving to watch my little girls play
Hope they dont grow up too fast
I want their time with us to last
I just hope theyre in no hurryLife passes so fast, it seems so blurry
I cant bear to see them leave us here
Even though,
Within our hearts theyll always be near
Through the Window
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When I first held you
I looked into your eyes
Like looking through a window
Into a different worldIts amazing when you see life
In a different light
No matter where this roads leads
For you, I will always fight
You make me feel so selfless
since youve entered my lifeI just hope that one day you
will be privileged enough
to feel what I feel too
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Cause nothing can compare
when your beauty sends me
through that open window to
a bright new worldwhen my true test begins
being the best father I can
This journey of new life
thebest gift Ive ever had
until you look me in the eye
and say
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I love you dad
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