Download - The Big Consult

The Big Consult - Questions

This survey contains the key issues that were identified for adopted teenagers and

asks them what could be improved and what they wanted support to look like.

Below is a summary of the answers from the teenagers who answered across

Yorkshire and Humber.

School and the big bad world – teachers understanding, bullying, being

adopted and feeling different

a) Do the pupils at your school have a clear understanding of what adoption is? While some people said there might be some students who do the common answer was that people at school don't have a clear understanding because they haven't been told about it.

b) What could schools do to improve the awareness about adoption? A lot of people suggested that assemblies or classes that would tell students all they need to know about adoption.

c) Do you think your friends would understand you better if they could: i. Watch a film about adoption? ii. Read a book about adoption? iii. Have an assembly on what adoption is?

iv. It was thought that the best methods of making friends

understand would be to have a film about adoption or an assembly on adoption.

d) What could schools do to better support adopted young adults? We thought that for schools to help better support adopted teenagers they could help them cope with their feelings more, make sure that any bullying gets sorted and give teachers better training as to how to support adopted teenagers.

e) How many other young people do you know that are adopted? Answers ranged from none to 20 but the most common answers were 1 or 2

f) How many in your class? Most answers were none

g) Do you feel ‘different’ because you are adopted? Mostly answered no but where it was answered yes it was followed by 'but in a good way'.

h) Do you think teachers understand why you might feel ‘different’? Mostly answered no.

2) What should adoption support for young people look like?


a) Do you feel ok talking to other people about your experience of being adopted? If not why? If yes what makes you feel comfortable to talk about this? The majority of people answered yes and gave the reason that they don't feel ashamed about it and it is something they are proud of. Also gave the reason that it is the best way to make other people understand about adoption. The people that answered no gave the reason that it makes them feel uncomfortable and awkward.

b) What are the best ways for adopted young people to meet and stay in touch? Groups, activities and social media including our new AT-iD website

c) What should adoption support look like? What should it consist of? Should consist of meeting up with other people in the same situation.

d) When do you think you should be told about what adoption support there is? When you are adopted perhaps? Or maybe when you start high school? When you start high school was a common answer being emotions run high at this time in your life. But a few answers said that maybe adoptive parents should decide when they think you need the support

e) Thinking of your own experiences what has been good adoption support? Groups like AT-iD and workers.

f) Why was it useful? Helped to talk to someone and it helped with specific problem e.g. finding birth parents

g) What adoption support could have been better? How? Getting the help when asked for and maybe not just talking about it straight away, in AT-iD we got to know each other first and it was better

h) Would you use a telephone helpline if you knew the person talking to you understood adoption? Maybe

i) Would you attend a group for adopted young people if it was run by someone who understood adoption? Yes What time would be best for a group like this? Summer and holidays

j) Would you prefer a group like this to be a one off? Or a group that runs perhaps every couple of months? Every couple of months

k) Would you want an adult to be present? Yes l) If you would want an adult present would you want them to supervise

or be involved in the group? Would want them to be involved m) Would it help you to talk to a professional who knows about feelings

and controlling them? Or would you rather talk to someone who you knew? Would prefer it to be someone we knew.

n) What would help you with understanding and controlling your emotions? Talking to someone about them


o) Do you think it would help if your parent(s) understood a bit more why it might feel different to be adopted? Yes

p) Do you think it would help if your friends understood a bit more why it might feel different to be adopted? Maybe

3) Issues with controlling/understanding emotions

a) Which emotions do you think are hardest to control? Anger

b) Which emotions are hardest to understand? Anger and Sadness

c) Do you believe it is ok for people to get help if they have emotions they find difficult to understand and control? Yes

d) What would help you with this? Talking to someone/A mentor

e) Do you think it would help if there were someone who you could talk to about understanding and controlling these emotions? Yes

f) Would you want this person to be a professional or would you want it to be someone who you know and trust? Someone I knew

g) If you did think you would want to talk to someone about these emotions how important would it be that this person understands adoption? (On a scale of 1-10) Between 6 - 10

h) Do you think it would be useful to maybe use art, music or other creative methods to talk about these feelings? Not really

i) Do you think it would help if your parent(s) knew why it was hard for you to understand/control these emotions? Yes

j) Might that make it easier for you to talk about the emotions with them? Yes

4) Wanting to know the truth/more about your adoption?

a) Have you always known you were adopted? All yes

b) If yes do you think it was important that your parent(s) were honest with you? Very important

c) If no do you understand the reason your parent(s) kept it from you?

d) Do you want to know more about what why you were adopted? Yes/Not sure

e) Would you want to know more about your early life? Yes/Not sure Even if it might be painful to hear?


f) If you did want to find out more about your early life would you know where to look/who to go to for this information? Half yes half no

g) Would you want to know more about what was happening for your adoptive parents before they adopted you? Yes

h) Do your adoptive parent(s) understand why it might be important for you to know about your early life? Yes

i) Do you think your adoptive parent(s) might need some help understanding this? Yes

j) Do you think your friends, extended family and teachers need to understand that it is important for you to know the truth about your adoption? Yes/ Not everyone needs to know

k) If there was information about your early life that might be painful to hear would you want to hear this from your adoptive parent(s) or from someone else? For example a counsellor? Parents or someone I know