Jan Bak
Subtitle
TITLE LAYOUT
She Said It
Doesn’t Matter
It Does
But A Lot Of Them Are Annoying
The Thought Is Gross!
Say It
Isn’t So!
Cut Your Nails, You
Filthy Mofo
What You Think That
Joint Account Is For?
All The Other Guys
Meant Nothing!
It Was Just
Physical
You’re The Real
Star
Sure I Do
The Impact Of
Post-Internet Globalization
On Humanity
Evergreen
Jan Bak
I’ve been
called crazy,
That’s cool
with me.
2016The cream rises to the top
Because in
You don’t have to tell white
lies to make people like you
Easy way out is to smile in
a man’s face thengossip behind his back
But what happens when
your child points the finger at you?
I chase these bills,
I don’t chase cheap thrills
You don’t want
me in your
insurance pool…
Why would I want to
subsidize the health
care of a bunch of
spoiled adults?
Barriers To EntryJan Bak
5
GUESS THAT’S JUST HUMAN NATURE
A classic insult men employ is to tell other men that their goals/dreams/plans/ambitions are an illusion
It’s a good thing American Women don’t have time for that
Money can’t buy love – Being practical might get you invited for coffee though
George Costanza – I can’t drink coffee late at night
Too late to be drinking coffee
$5 Cover
$5 – All you needed to enjoy an evening downtown
with your friends…maybe it was two 5’s…
Chanel No 5
Separates the upper class from the middle class
DJ Mustard 95 BPM Beats
You can call the music stupid,
but she’s too busy partying to hear you
Wrigley’s 5 Gum
It’s a universal thing how one’s reaction to being
offered gum tells volumes about one’s personality
••
•
LIFE IN A NUTSHELL
E X P L A I N E D B Y ‘ M U R I C AW I T H H E L P F R O M T H A T P O S T M A N A G I T A T O R N E W M A N
Childhood
Adulthood
W O R K , W O R K , W O R K , PAY TA X E STHEN WORK SOME MORE
In the meantime, there’s so much great music to listen to
And just as many great album covers
Some are pure perfection
Others are dope as hell
And there are those that appeal to the attributes prized by
both the superficial and non-superficial man and
the superficial and non-superficial woman
SIDENOTE
DJ Premier
is the man
I’ve got some secrets to tellListen up…
Why I Love Change
In the city, you need quarters to wash your clothes and the moment you need to
do laundry is when quarters magically vanish from the Earth
Why I Use Many Credit Cards
When you marry for money, you earn every penny, so I guess I’m single for the time
being…and that’s absolutely fine with me
Why I Enjoy Foreign Cars
They are quite nice, and they bring quite nice moments into my life. In addition, the service required to maintain them creates new forms
of gainful employment, so it’s not just “American cars” that are good to buy
That’s It
Jules Don’t Play
When I’m in business mode, I like to focus by watching Pulp Fiction
GOING THROUGH SOME THINGSJAN BAK
LUXURY CARS ASIDE,
GERMAN ENGINEERING IS OKAY,
AMERICAN WORKMANSHIP IS REALLY WHAT’S UP
NICE DIPLOMA ON THE WALLWAS IT WORTH THE TIME AND MONEY PUT IN TO GET IT?
BUSINESS OVER BUFFOONERY
THE ONLY THING PEOPLE LOVE MORE THAN PAYING LIP SERVICE TO THINGS
THEY NEVER PLAN TO ACTUALLY DO IS TO GET PAID FOR ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING
PROPERTY ZONES, STUDENT LOANS, AUTO LOANS, CELL PHONES
Nobody wants to work hard for 15 years and not have a car to drive
Nobody ever thought they would end up homeless
Nobody ever believed that “This Economy” could happen to them
Nobody ever expected to pay “That Much!” in alimony
Nobody always thought Everybody was dumber than him, and he always felt like
Somebody until he realized that Anybody could do his job and Anybody’s friend
treated his wife in a way that Nobody could never understand
The only thing worse than being talked about, is not being talked about, but just
remember that people are almost always talking
If tomorrow never comes, then it doesn’t come, but just in case it does, be ready
IF YOU DO IT SMART, YOU WON’T HAVE TO FACE THOSE PROBLEMS
Think with your head
This is better than Days Of Our Lives, this is Real Life
I made it to where I want to be in life
And everybody I know that’s still chasing their goals
Thinks I owe them something
And every person that was down with me
Or wanted to be, wants to be just like me
They think I owe them something
Every woman I stopped spending time with
Thinks I owe them something
A man can't even ride in his car
Can't even walk through the streets
Without a joker thinking that he owes them something
I got mine, you need to get yours
People I used to call family,
They don’t understand me,
They think a man just got beaucoup money,
Just to blow on them, just to give to some m**********rs
That don’t want to do anything for themselves
Be a real m**********r, be a true player, get your own
I Enjoy Covers & Samples
GOON COLLUSIONFUTURISTIC FICTION
GCFF
It’s not real
WE’RE GOING TO BLAME OTHERS FOR RANDOM NONSENSE AND BLOW MINOR THINGS WAY OUT OF PROPORTION WHILE WE SECRETLY COLLUDE
TO GOUGE PRICES
JK, JKWE’RE JUST DOING OUR JOBS
BUT SERIOUSLY, WHAT NUMBER SHOULD I PLUG
INTO THE COMPUTER FOR THE DISCOUNT RATE?
PRAY.HUSTLE.COLLECT.PARTYJAN BAK
PRAY
HUSTLE
COLLECT
PARTY
Feeling Depressed? Angry? Bored? Eager? Overstimulated? Upset? Lost?
Confused? Frustrated?
SOMETIMES THE BEST SOLUTION IS TO GO TUNNEL VISION ON THE MONEY
Tunnel VisionMoney, Money, Money, Money, Money
You Don’t Know My NameJ. BAK
The Evolution Of My Name
Bak Jawnqs Jon
Silent Q
Why would anyone want to ‘Climb the Ladder’ when it’s much smarter to ‘Walk the Steps’
1
2.4
6
The Steps
Learning The Game Winning The Game Defining The Game
Nowadays, call me what you want –Just don’t forget the ‘J’
J JJJ
StoryboardProtagonist
The Shirtless Man
PremiseProtagonist yells at other dudes to seem tough in front of his lady pal –
Hilarity ensues
Executive Summary for a potential television program entitled Bums Making Money
The Friends, The FoesHere & Abroad
Jan Bak
What you know about repatriating finances?
>
Quite Nice Moments™ − Marked by Paul Wall Music
Chillin’ With The Homies
Living, Laughing, Lounging
Working At The Intercontinental
More Money Making Music
You already know
in case you don’t have enough
Ain’t The Same Ballpark,
Ain’t The Same League,
Ain’t Even The Same Sport
“
”
“
”
Sup
Jumpman
Jumpman
Jumpman
JumpmanTrumpman
WORKING
Since 2001