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The soft part is the hard part.

Jim De Piante, PMP Executive Project Manager

IBM Research

Toward soft skills mastery.

Intel Core i7-3960x

• 6 physical cores • Base clock speed 3.33 GHz • Max turbo speed 3.9 GHz • 3 channels DDR3-1066 • 12 threads for applications • 12MB of L3 cache

2 © 2011 Jim De Piante The Soft Part is the Hard Part

Intel Core i7-3960x

• 6 physical cores • Base clock speed 3.33 GHz • Max turbo speed 3.9 GHz • 3 channels DDR3-1066 • 12 threads for applications • 12MB of L3 cache


Video game

4

Excel spreadsheet

5

Computer aided design

6

Design a house

7

Enormous potential


The reality


To realize the value

• Get what’s in out • Contacts increase

– Complexity – Cost – Size – Weight


Realizing the value

• Contacts • Connections • Source of power • Channels • Communications

– Input – Output

• System • Network


The universal theory of everything


The cure for all cancers 17

Becoming a master

18

You need soft skills

to realize the value

of your hard skills.

© 2011 Jim De Piante The Soft Part is the Hard Part

Project manager hard skills

• PMs require two kinds – Technical (domain) – Project management

• Conceiving ideas • Solving problems • Managing projects

• To realize the value • Invest in soft skills

– Ourselves – Stakeholders


Realizing the value

• How can I – Realize the value? – Achieve mastery?

• What are soft skills?

– Some examples – A definition


Examples of soft skills

• Leadership • Selling • Negotiation • Conflict resolution • Persuasion • Explanation • Advising • Networking • Teaching • Public speaking • Rapport building • Writing eMail • Writing documents • Criticizing • Leading meetings • Leading conference calls • Collaboration • Problem resolution


Interrelated

• Many and varied • Complex • Interrelated • Interdependent

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Selling – Networking – Rapport building – Explanation – Persuasion – Negotiation – Advising – Writing eMail – Writing documents – Leading meetings – Collaboration – Problem resolution

How can I

master

them all?


Codification of soft skills

• Possible to codify soft skills? • There’s PMBOK® Guide • Soft skills defy codification • Not knowledge • Application of behaviors • Infinite possibilities

• Foundational skills • A good definition


Soft skills

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The ability to engage with and

interact effectively with others.


Soft skills

• Managing relationships • Communications

25

The ability to engage with and

interact effectively with others.


Communications

26

bidirectional

exchange of ideas

understand

be understood

Soft skills mastery

• Mastering communications

• First step: Accept complete responsibility for the entire transaction

• What can you do working from only one side?


Grey background

28

Simple model (1)


Simple model (2)


Shared conventions


Shared conventions (2)


The convention of language

• Agreed meaning • Includes gestures • Changes with context

– Temporal – Geographical – Cultural – Professional – Familial – Circumstances


Conventions are not universal

34

Berlusconi

35

Bush


Maloik

37

Maloik

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• University of Texas: Longhorns • Italy: Offensive gesture • Italy: Ward off “evil eye” • Heavy Metal: “Rock on” • Canada: Mildly offensive gesture • Baseball: Two outs

Steps to mastery (conventions)

• Know which conventions are operating • Master the relevant conventions • Where there is none, learn or translate


You thought of a tree


Umbrella pines

42

Palms

43

Bonsai


Fir

45

Maple

46

Images and other means

• Use images – Diagrams – Drawings – Photographs – Other

• Reduce ambiguity • Images are

– Precise – Memorable – Powerful – Visual

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• Other means – Sounds – Gestures – Props

is worth

1*10-3 pictures.


Rule number 1

48

Verba volant,

scripta manent.


Steps to mastery (precision)

• Communicate with precision • Understand the person’s context • Use images and other means • Write it down


Garbage out, garbage in

• Think before speaking • Organize thoughts • Sketch, diagram • Outline • Mind map • Write things down • Hear yourself speak


Complexity

• Reduce complexity – Analyze – Decompose – Recompose – Synthesize – Categorize – Organize

• Understand

• Simplify

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Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

– Leonardo Da Vinci


Too much information

• Optimize • Less is more • Say what needs to be said

– Not more – Not less


Steps to mastery (clarity)

• Organize your thinking • Simplify your ideas • Give optimal level of information


A process fraught with peril

• Complex and error prone • Noise and interference • Words limit us • Words are ambiguous • Obscure meanings


Ambiguity rules

• Assumptions about – What we know – What the other person knows

• We ignore ambiguity • We accept imprecision • We make errors of fact • We remember incorrectly


Confusion reigns

• Imprecise understanding • Accept imprecision • Hear what they want to hear • Hear what they need to hear • Disorganized in our thinking • Disinclined to listen • More inclined to talk


Certainty and uncertainty

• Puzzled look makes it obvious – They know they don’t understand – You know you don’t understand

• Natural feedback loop

• But what if…

– They think they understand but don’t – You think you understand but don’t


Certainty and uncertainty

• Puzzled look makes it obvious – They know they don’t understand – You know you don’t understand

• Natural feedback loop

• But what if…

– They think they understand but don’t – You think you understand but don’t

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Ask!


I know you believe…

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I know that you believe you understand what

you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize

that what you heard is not what I meant.

– Robert McCloskey


Unsaid

• What’s unsaid – By you – By them

• Make the implicit explicit – Probe – Dig – Ask

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It's not what you don't know that will hurt

you, it's what you know that just ain't so.

– Satchel Paige


Steps to mastery (feedback)

• Paraphrase to ensure you understand • Ask to ensure that the other person understands • Ask to know what should have been said


Purpose

• My purpose • Your purpose

• Our purpose


Everybody wins

• Not a zero sum game – I can win – You can win

• Seek to meet their needs by achieving your purpose

• Find the synergy


Steps to mastery (purpose)

• Know your purpose • Know the other person’s purpose • Help them to know • Meet their needs by achieving

your own purpose


The question

• Powerful tool to ensure understanding • Communications mastery • Soft skills mastery

• Someone asks you a question

– You begin to answer – They are not listening – Or they start talking


The question

• Powerful tool to ensure understanding • Communications mastery • Soft skills mastery

• Someone asks you a question

– You begin to answer – They are not listening – Or they start talking

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Have you ever been that person?


Most powerful thing you can say

• Make yourself understood • People will be eager to work with you • Guaranteed to improve communication • Will ensure mutual understanding • Will earn respect and admiration of others

• On your way to consummate soft skills mastery


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Nothing

When you are silent

• In a better position to listen • Not a result of “technique” • Follows from empathy

– Consider the other – Understand their purpose – Want what they want


When you are silent

• In a better position to listen • Not a result of “technique” • Follows from empathy

– Consider the other – Understand their purpose – Want what they want

70

If after five minutes you still have not made your point, it is because you are not listening.

– Jim De Piante


Listen for understanding

• Empathy is not – Sympathy – Agreement

• Helps you understand • Key to being understood • Shared understanding • Transference of meaning • Communication

71

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.

– Steven Covey


Remember our examples



Remember our examples


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Can’t master them individually. Need a simplified approach.


Simplified approach to mastery

• Engage and interact • Managing relationships • Communications • Shared understanding • Understand to be understood • Based on empathy

• Be empathetic

– Listen – Understand – Be understood – Communicate – Mastery


Consummate mastery

• Stay “other-focused” • Empathize • Listen to understand • Everything else will follow

76

Consummate mastery

• Mastery consists in striving • It’s about the journey • It’s about understanding

– Others – Yourself

77

The soft part is the hard part.

Send me an invitation on . [email protected]

Toward soft skills mastery.

Jim De Piante, PMP