Download - SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

Transcript
Page 1: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

SAFE DATES

An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum

Page 2: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

DEFINING CARING RELATIONSHIPS

Important qualities in a dating relationship

Supportive & caring actions

Treatment from a dating partner

Treatment to a dating partner

Choice in the way treated from a dating partner

Choice in the way to treat a dating partner

Page 3: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

Important Qualities in a Relationship

Funny Independent Respected Trusted Supported Encouraged Loved Excited Romanced

Page 4: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

DEFINING DATING ABUSE Harmful dating behaviors

Physical & Emotional abusive behaviors

Physical & Emotional abuse in the dating relationship

Abusive behavior identification

Susceptibility to dating abuse

Rejection of abuse in a dating relationship

Page 5: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

Emotional Harmful Behaviors

Calling a Date Names Criticizing Opinions Ignoring a Date’s Feelings Isolating Date from Others Behaving Jealously Telling Lies Scaring a Date Cheating on a Date Making Someone Feel Guilty Spreading Rumors Threatening to Hurt a Date Threatening to Hurt Oneself Using Sexually Derogatory Names Criticizing Beliefs about Sex Putting Down Family and Friends Driving Recklessly to Scare a Date Humiliating a Date in Public or Private Insulting a Date’s Beliefs or Values Displaying Inappropriate Anger

Page 6: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

Physical Harmful Behaviors Hitting Scratching Pushing Pinching Choking Spitting Shaking Shoving Forcing Biting Pulling Hair Using a Weapon Throwing Things Keeping a Date from Leaving Molestation Rape Forcing Unwanted Sexual Actions Damaging Personal Property Acting in an Intimidating Way Purposefully Injuring an Animal

Page 7: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

WHY DO PEOPLE ABUSE? Controlling & Manipulative functions of dating abuse

Identification of abusive behaviors

Misperceptions about dating abuse

Dating abuse as a serious matter

Abuse is not a victims fault

Short & Long term consequences of abusive relationships

Warning signs of an abusive relationship

Page 8: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

Short-term Consequences of Abuse

Break-up Fight Resentment Frustration Anger Scared/Fear Insecurity Pain Suffering Physical Injuries

Page 9: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

Long-term Consequences of Abuse

Break-up Arrested Death Suicide Depression Chronic Physical Injuries Trust Issues Lose of Friends/Family Damaged Relationships

Page 10: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

HOW TO HELP FRIENDS Complexity of decision making in leaving an

abusive relationship

Difficulty & fear of asking for help from the victim

Ways to support a friend that is a victim

Community resources for abuse

How to find help if a victim of abuse

Page 11: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

HELPING FRIENDS Red flags of dating

abuse

Confronting a friend about dating abuse

Supporting a friend in an abusive relationship

Page 12: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

Dating Abuse Red Flags (Individual who may be in an

Abusive Relationship) Being Physically Hurt Feeling Afraid of you Boyfriend or Girlfriend Feeling Isolated Losing Friends Changing behavior due to girlfriend/boyfriend

jealousy Feeling embarrassed, ashamed, put down or

guilty Being Threatened Feeling Manipulated or Controlled Feeling Nervous, Sick to Stomach when

boyfriend/girlfriend is Irritated, Frustrated or Angry

Page 13: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

Dating Abuse Red Flags (Individual who may be in an

Abusive Relationship) Feeling a pounding or fluttering in chest when

boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t happy Not being allowed to, or being afraid to, make

decisions for yourself Noticing that your girlfriend/boyfriend has very

traditional (stereotypical) beliefs about women and men

Feeling as if your date gets too personal or touches you in an unwanted way

Not having your thoughts or wishes for personal space respected

Page 14: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

Dating Abuse Red Flags (Individual who may be Abusing their Partner)

Physical Assaulting partner Intimidating partner Angry if partner spends time with other people Asking partner to change behavior because

you’re jealous Verbally threatening partner Using “guilt trips” to get partner to do something Feeling unable to control your own feeling of

anger Making partner afraid of you Forcing partner to do sexual things that he or she

is not comfortable doing

Page 15: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

Helping a Friend Believe Story Make Sure They are Safe/Safety Plan Tell Person They Don’t Deserve to be Abused Ask Many Questions to get them to Think about

Problem Ask them their Options (leave, stay, get advice

from professional, etc) Let them know Abuse gets Worse if Ignored Encourage them to Seek Help (Hotline; Legal,

Medical, Counseling resources) Don’t Gossip Let Victim Make Own Decisions (Let make

decision when they are ready)

Page 16: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

OVERCOMING GENDER STEREOTYPES

Specific images of dating relationships

Images influence on interactions in relationship

Harmful consequences of gender stereotyping

Role of gender stereotypes in dating relationships

Page 17: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

Gender Stereotypes Boys Pay for Dates Boy makes physical advances Only boys can ask girls out Girls should play hard to get Women should be caretakers Women should do work in the kitchen Women should always obey and listen to men Me should be in control Men should be waited on All men are violent Women are emotional and irrational

Page 18: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

EQUAL POWER THROUGH COMMUNICATION

Eight communication skills for resolving conflict

Non-violent responses to partner that does not communicate fair and equal

Page 19: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

Eight Basic Skills for Equal Communication

Secure your center (respond when thinking clearly) Ask clarifying questions (honest/open questions,

avoid misunderstanding) Find out partner’s feelings (feels about situation) Express feelings (be honest and specific) Determine what’s important to you (can’t

compromise) Acknowledge what’s important to partner Think about similarities and differences

(determine where agree/disagree and why disagree) Exchange ideas for possible solutions

(brainstorm)

Page 20: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

HOW WE FEEL, HOW WE DEAL

Expression of feelings and emotions

Acknowledgment of feelings

Situations that trigger anger

Physiological & Psychological cues of anger

Non-violent responses to anger

Choice of response when angry

Page 21: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

Hot Buttons (Triggers) Someone who is always late Someone who doesn’t follow through on

promises Someone being loud and obnoxious Someone does something that hurts your

feelings

Page 22: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

Diffusing Anger Talking to myself (positive self-talk) Walking/Running Counting Controlling my breathing Crying Walking Away/Removing self from situation Hitting pillow Exercising strenuously Asking someone for advice Explaining to the person why I’m angry Playing with my pet Listening to music

Page 23: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

Eight Dating Tips Things to do to protect self: Double-date, go out with group of friends Date in public places Decide boundaries on sex, be firm and clear Trust feelings and instincts Be careful if date holds strong gender stereotypes Things to do to respect partner: Respect dates feelings and wishes about being

sexual Pay attention to date’s body language Be aware of own gender stereotypes Stop physical advances if date says NO

Page 24: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

PREVENTING SEXUAL ASSAULT

Sexual assault victims never to blame

Rape is unacceptable

Understand & interpret “NO” cues

Protecting yourself in potential rape situation

Establish clear sexual boundaries with dating partner

Tips to decrease chance of being a victim of sexual assault

Page 25: SAFE DATES An Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum.

SUMMARY TOPICS

DATING ABUSE & CONSEQUENCES

“RED FLAGS” FOR ABUSE

EQUAL POWER THROUGH COMMUNICATION

PREVENTING SEXUAL ASSAULT