Reasons Why A Donald Trump Presidency
Will be Successful
By: P.G Wodehouse
(Disclaimer- As you probably have guessed the author’s name is entirely
fictitious to avoid any affiliation with the content of the book, the actual
author does not condone, agree with, or acknowledge any material
expressed in this book…I already know what you’re thinking don’t ask how
I came up with the author’s name)
A Thorough Analysis of undoubtedly one of the greatest Rulers
known to mankind
Some have labeled him as being Immortal, having unlocked
legendary status in life, even referring to him as an incarnation of
god…
This book attempts to get an inside look Into the Self-made billionaire and twitter star
**********Donald John Trump**********
An Inside look into one of the most intellectually superior beings
on the planet
Disclaimer: Contrary to popular belief that no human being would
ever be named P.G Wodehouse (how do you even come up with that
Name is beyond me) there was actually, an author who was named
this…. Your probably asking yourself why I Included this to which I
would respond there are bigger problems to address right now like
whether or not the statue of Martin Luther King was removed from
the white house or the size of the presidential inauguration crowd
(thank you Sean Spicer for clearing it up #Respect it…..my main man
Spicy Sean)
Also don’t be surprised stranger things have happened for example
Steve Harvey announced the wrong Miss Universe Winner
(Whoops Wrong example…..does that really surprise you)
Acknowledgements
#Hillary Clinton for losing the election
despite:
-running against the equivalent of seventy
year old grandpa with the intellect and
aptitude of a Young Child…. No not like a
teenager who has a general understanding
of how the world operates more like a child
who has just turned five and has been
assigned chores and constantly makes
excuses to avoid doing them #The American
Health Care Act
-being supported by katy perry, beyonce, and
most importantly Jay Z (again don’t forget
Jay Z…the guy whose hairline looks like it
was drawn in Microsoft paint with the
paintbrush function) just had to make sure
we were talking about the same one
Unfortunately Most of the Jay Z pictures are
copyright protected (why anyone would
want pictures of Jay Z and feel the need to
copy them I don’t really have an answer to
that) so here’s a picture of a Gorilla
instead…
Yep you know it’s coming
#rip harambe
-Having 35+ years of Political Experience
-Despite raising 1.4 billion dollars, being
backed by Wall Street, the government, and
having the full support and loyalty of
previous presidential superstar bill Clinton
(I mean the guy was getting all kinds of A** in
the white House what more can you ask for in
a campaign basically guaranteed
Presidential win am I right)
#The American Dream that Truly Anything Is
possible
For example- How the F*** does Nicholas
Cage earn an Oscar before Leonardo
DiCaprio
Also…..
Someone please explain to me why jimmy
fallon is still on the late show…he’s not
even funny….what makes you think I want to
see a grown a** man play Party monkey Tic-
Tac-Toe
Also please explain to me how Justin Bieber
isn’t in jail right now, oh that’s right why
stay in jail when you can just buy your way
out.# The American Legal System…the best
system in the world
underscore “ehhh….depends on how you look at it”
My informants tell me that Justin’s a pretty
likable and genuine guy…opps wrong Justin I
was describing Justin Timberlake
No…F*** you Justin Bieber
Some free advice- Justin It’s a good idea to
keep your clothes on
#JusticeForHarambe
#Call of Duty for the kill confirmed meme
#Stephen Colbert for being a younger
version of john Stewart one who does not
quite grasp reality and looks like he just
stepped out of the matrix
Wait for it….
Yes that’s right I dedicated a whole page to a
picture of Stephen Colbert
but wait
If you look closely
……………………………………
--Okay the acknowledgement list could
probably span the length of the entire book
so I’ll get to the actual topic of discussion
Also in case you were wondering there was a
second mall cop …….what that means for this
country I’m not certain so we will turn it
over to the movie experts at IMBD for more
information
Prequel Sequel
Kinda Like……
Sequel
Prequel
Whats Next?
Let’s not find out
Hey it’s not good to make assumptions
For example
There was probably a bee on his shoulder so
the individual in black is trying to scare it
off
Anyways……..
Movie Reviews
Mall Cop 1 5.2/10
Mall Cop 2 4.4/10
Ap SAT Question
Based on the following numerical data what
can be inferred about the condition of the
United States?
A) As we can see the second term is worse
than the first term…. Can anyone explain,
contemplate, or predict how A) A second
term is possible and B) how it could get any
worse than it already is now
B) This country is going to h***, of the 320
million people who live in the United States
the best we could come up with is Donald
Trump and Hillary Clinton (don’t even get me
started on Marco Rubio or Ted Cruz)
With Marco Rubio it looks like all he is
missing is the sombrero and a lawn mower
(This book is not sponsored by avocados from
Mexico.. but There’s only one avocado that
can chill you in the summer and relax You by
the fire in winter and that’s Avocados from
Mexico….again not a sponsored message..
alight that’s it…..
just buy the F***in avocados already
other than that you can’t really get any
more authentic. One thing I’ll give to Rubio
though is he is a savage, this is the guy who
decides to take a water break during a 14
minute nationally televised speech
basically….
#savage level 120%.
Ted Cruz ohh lets see is there a page limit for
this one… I mean just look at him he looks like
kermit the frog, he has the political
expertise of Bill Nye the Science guy (you
know the guy who’s not even a scientist but
has/had an entire show dedicated to
teaching kids science), and the highlight of
his political career was shutting down the
government costing tax payers 24 billion
dollars, also research suggests that he may
be related to bill cosby
(insert infographic here
…Yeah this would be an interesting one)
Also expert testimony from Chief legal
correspondent and sex icon Bill Cosby will
be used later to determine the legality of
Trumps Travel ban; who else would we
ask….the guy has selflessly devoted his
entire life to the court system…
#The moment when everyone knows your
guilty but your lawyer is not even human so it
doesn’t really matter what people think
Just Look at him I can’t think of anyone with
more integrity or popularity oh wait
What about Hillary Clinton you ask?
Despite being labeled as the most qualified
united States presidential Candidate in
history by previous presidential prodigy
barrack Hussein Obama II, many have
inexplicably expressed doubts as to her
leadership abilities
Let’s take a look at some of her
accomplishments as secretary of state
1. Losing 6 billion dollars at the state
department
2. Selling Uranium to the Russians through
her “charity”
Keep in mind that charity assumes a different
definition referring to an illegitimate
apparatus that embezzles money from the
United States government and other
governments under false pretenses of
foreign aid
3. Illegally deleting public records
4. Murdering an ambassador
Some argue that Hillary Clinton should have
been elected because she’s a woman… just
realize that’s like saying you should wipe
your a** with a floor mat Instead of toilet
paper in order to prevent deforestation.
What does this have to do with Hillary
Clinton you ask.. Nothing I just felt like
using A**, floor Mat, and deforestation in
the same sentence
Killcam instant replay….
Oh let’s see where were we…
Ted Cruz
That’s right….
Seriously Ted …..F*** off back to Canada you
would be more helpful over there.
Correct answer
C)Seeing as the length of the chart is only
0.001 inches in diameter, this is a clear
indication that Jeb Bush Really won the 2016
election
(Seriously F*** off SAT creators with your
completely irrelevant, off topic, flat out
retarded questions-------I couldn’t honestly
think of anything better to do on a Saturday,
than go back to school and dispose of a few
hours of my life so that when I’m done I am
rewarded with a state of mental exhaustion
comparable to someone having taken a brick
and repeatedly smashed it on my head-
seriously….I would like to meet the moron
who came up with standardized testing---------)
Oh wait that’s right it’s the college board
you know the not for profit organization
making an excess of 90 million dollars a year
whose CEO has an annual base salary of a
million dollars (not including additional
compensation for overtime).
#The integrity of the public education system
Breaking Update
A Wild Koala has escaped from the
Philadelphia zoo. Inside investigative
reporting has lead us to believe that the
koala, upset with his fellow koala tribe
Members took to the streets in protest of his
unfair treatment at the zoo. the koala set
off to explore the splendor and grandeur of
the streets of Philadelphia…The koala(Lets
call him jimmy so I don’t have to keep writing
koala) was offered a tour by one of the
local residents and together they skipped
through the streets off to explore ..Now
that story sounds a lot better than Jimmy
got hit by a bus, was mugged, or was captured
by animal control #IceCube”nigga talking
bout real life”
Now you’re probably asking yourself how
can a koala be mugged?
To which I would respond this is a
hypothetical story about a koala named
jimmy….what more do you want from me?
False alarm it was just john Oliver
But let’s get back to the subject at Hand
President Trump’s credentials
Trump the Family Man
One of trumps most prominent qualities is his
consideration for family members for
example As we clearly see in this photo
Trump is very concerned with making sure
Ivanka has a sound footing on stage…even
going so far as to look down to ensure the
platform is safe to walk on ….
#take some notes Gentlemen
In this photo, we can clearly see trump is
trying to remove the crinkles from ivankas’
shirt
Interesting
….very interesting…. Let’s consult expert
behavioral psychologists meek mill and rick
ross for more info on this photo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H030R
OB95AE
HITPOINTS over 9000
Trump’s Hands on approach
to Raising Children
1. His Unique Parenting philosophy is best
summarized by the following quote
“I’ll Supply the funds and she’ll take
care of the kids.”
-the donald
*End of Section*
Collections of Donald Trump Memes
Trump as the Business
Success story
Trump’s Business Success Strategy
1. Have a Rich Father
2. Get Loans from said Rich father
3. If failure occurs at any point in time it
doesn’t matter because your father is
rich
How to build a casino at ten percent of
the cost
1.Sign contracts
2. give contractors 10 percent down as
a gesture of good faith
3. when work is completed file for
bankruptcy and pay them nothing
Inspirational Quote- “Success is no
accident. It is hard work,
perseverance, Studying, and sacrifice”
or….you could just have a rich father,
….both are equally as effective…..
A natural winner
Trump airlines - Failed
Trump Marriages - Failed
Trump Casino - Failed
Trump Mortgages- Failed
Trump vodka- Failed
Trump University- Failed
Bankruptcies –Success…..4 and counting
Domestic Policy
Chicago I mean It’s a “C-O-M-P-L-E-T-E D-I-S-A-S-
T-E-R…..”
The rapists from Mexico are pouring in….
I know…lets dedicate 15 billion dollars to a
1000 mile long 21 foot tall border wall
because there’s no way they’ll get through…
I even constructed a model out of Legos and
nothing was able to get past the Lego wall….
With the exception of my lego catapult, but
I’m working on it…my sources tell me that
wemight have to make the wall taller
Refer to the following diagram
Map Key
=Flight path
Foreign policy
Does this really require any further
explanation?
Healthcare (A topic that is as desirable as
going to the dentist for a molar
extraction….you know it’s going to hurt like
a b**** and you’re going to be immobilized for
a few days,….but they give you free
mouthwash when you’re done so it all evens
out)
As republican congressman Paul Ryan
attempts to push Obamacare Lite…commonly
denoted as “the American Health Care Act”
or in more plain terminology “the federal
government has no idea what the h*** it’s
doing so were going to let the states figure
out Healthcare”
Side note- the American health care act has
also been referred to as the FTP act or in
other words “F**k the poor act”
Meanwhile….Trump is realizing that
healthcare is a very complex Issue… quote
“Who knew healthcare was so complicated”
Sooooo…….based on that statement we know
he’s not going to be of any use so let’s
examine our options here…
Maybe we should consult with Obama about
this…
Right because healthcare reform is what’s
on his mind right now ….
Anyway, at least something new will be
implemented….Just kidding even republicans
don’t support the new health care initiative
Lets put it like this…
its chances of getting passed are like my
chances of sprouting wings, flying to the
moon, and meeting Mat Damon# no disrespect
The Martian was a solid movie
In summary: U.S healthcare is a complete D—I-
S-A-S-T-E-R which is a reality that doesn’t look
like it’s going away anytime soon
Crime
I’m not a statistician here but does this make
any f***in sense whatsoever. You know it’s a
reliable source when A) Its featured on
Trump’s twitter page and B)In the actual
source there is a Black guy pointing a gun
with what looks like a turban on his head,
this statistic is almost as ridiculous as the
Black Lives Matter Movement
#####Kill Confirmed######
Presidential Staff
Babysitter
Big Brother
You had a playdate with Putin and I wasn’t
invited
***Your fired***
Best Friend
Secret crush
It’s complicated
Trumps Leadership abilities
One of trump’s most prominent qualities is his
reasonability and flexibility as a leader
Let’s take a look at popular hit tv show The
celebrity apprentice to get a better idea …
Someone doesn’t agree with what he says-
Fired
Someone uses unscrupulous business
practices to get ahead in the competition-
Fired (This isn’t a Trump impersonation
contest come on now)
Arnold Schwarzenegger-Fired
Miss universe winner who mistakes peony
flowers with a p*nis, making the mistake not
once but multiple times- hired
Marriage and relationship expert Piers
Morgan-Hired
Who the h*** is piers Morgan you ask?
Also….
Didn’t he get divorced like three times?
Shhhhhhhhh…. It’s a secret
Similarly…
But wait…………..
Anyways…..
What Trump has done so far
This page has been intentionally left blank..
Stop…do not pass go and do not collect $200
******Just kidding*****
Trump’s accomplishments so far
1. Getting a Travel Ban rejected…not
once….but Twice
2. Devoting government resources to
determining the exact size of the
inauguration crowd
3. Publically shaming Nordstrom for
revoking his daughters’ line of clothing
4. One of the only presidents whose press
secretary was impersonated by a
woman
5. Developed diplomatic issues with
Australia and threatened to invade
Mexico
6. Suggested that African American
abolitionist Frederick Douglas is still
alive
quote “Fredick douglas is an example of
somebody who’s done an amazing job
and is being recognized
more and more, I
noticed.”
So in summary….
He hasn’t done anything and the things
that he has done have been ignored,
rejected, or have created more
problems
However, some critics argue that
President Trump’s actions have brought
about some positive results….
For example, some have made the case
that he has spurred a new wave of
online technological innovation
For example, numerous
websites have been created to count
down the time remaining until the next
Presidential election …..
………………………………..
…..Wait a second…
Anyway….
.. that is assuming we are all still alive
come 2020
#Mayan doomsday prediction …The
extinction date that changes every year
and the only thing that is more
accurate or relevant is anything that
comes out of bill Myer’s mouth
ITS GANDALF… we found him, Frodo
(Just look at him)
#jewmania
However, word has it that magic
demigod sorcerer game of thrones
correspondent Nostradamus foretold
of a ruler with a string like substance
on his head….
#Trump’s presidential win prediction
confirmed
Sike…
(It’s called hair folks….don’t get too
excited)
Anyways back on track..
Trump’s love interests
Ivana trump, ben Carson, Marla maples,
melania knauss, anyone from the miss
universe pageant, judge Gorsuch
Okay….some of your results have been
omitted so that this section does not eclipse
the whole book
you get the picture… he’d basically f**k
anything that moves….
ALRIGHT THERE… DON’T GET TOO
IMAGINATIVE….
I’ll let you figure that one out….
Social etiquette icon
In this video trump demonstrates a proper
handshake….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-
I9810XB1Uk
Japanese Prime Minister- Let gooooooo….
Bitch…#this handshake would had been more
socially acceptable if you had just reached
for my d**k
Judge Gorsuch and Mike pence……did anyone
see my arm?
Moving on
The Weather forecast
Let’s take a look at our doplar radar
findings to gauge what the weather will be
like tomorrow….
It looks like high winds moving in from the
north folks… make sure to wear a jacket….
Likewise, a full supply of hair loss drugs
would also be effective
Things that resemble Donald Trump’s hair
(PLEASE NOTE THAT THE AUTHOR ATTEMPTED TO
INCLUDE EVERY SINGLE SOURCE REFERNCED
THROUGHOUT THE BOOK, HE CAREFULLY RECORDED
EVERY WEBSITE VISITED, THE TIME OF ACESS, WHETHER
OR NOT IT COULD BE COPYRIGHTED, THE RELATED
AUTHORS, ETC. THE SOURCES Are COMPILED BELOW)
CITATION
1. GOOGLE
2. EMINEM FOR INSPIRATION
3. YOUR MOTHER
(Citations are in MLA format)
If you are looking for APA format, the
citations are as follows…..
1. Don’t worry about it
Enjoyed this ..
look out for
Reasons why Hillary Clinton
would have made the greatest
president in human history
Or the alternate title…
Hillary clinton… the second
jesus?
Coming soon
Also if you would like more of these books
consider hitting your boy up
https://paypal.me/HMemegenerator/
This was created during school detracting
from valuable study time that could have
been used to find the inverse of a 3X3
matrix…what the hell do I look like keanu
reeves…explain to me how this would have
any use whatsoever for anything
#time well spent
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