[email protected]@mail.com
1815 Manor Drive1815 Manor Drive
Santa Rosa, CA 95403Santa Rosa, CA 95403
(707) 545-7520(707) 545-7520
www.WinePi.comwww.WinePi.com
Mike Von der Porten
ListeninListening to g to
LearnLearn
Let’s talk about
a recent trip or vacation!a recent trip or vacation!
• Speakers - How did the Speakers - How did the reaction of your listener reaction of your listener affect you?affect you?
• Listeners - How did your Listeners - How did your speaker respond to speaker respond to listening behavior?listening behavior?
Why is Listening a Key Skill Why is Listening a Key Skill of Leadership?of Leadership?
• Listening is a primary means for Listening is a primary means for connecting with other people.connecting with other people.
Why is Listening a Key Skill Why is Listening a Key Skill of Leadership?of Leadership?
• Listening is a primary means for Listening is a primary means for connecting with other people.connecting with other people.
• Listening provides the means to Listening provides the means to make decisions and solve problems.make decisions and solve problems.
““Seek first toSeek first to
understand, understand, then to be then to be
understood”understood”
Steven Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective PeopleSteven Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Two Parts of Effective Listening:Active ListeningActive Listening
Empathetic ListeningEmpathetic Listening
Two Parts of Effective Listening:Active ListeningActive Listening
Empathetic ListeningEmpathetic Listening
Reflects what a person is saying to confirm comprehension
Two Parts of Effective Listening:Active ListeningActive Listening
Reflects what a person is saying to Reflects what a person is saying to confirm comprehension.confirm comprehension.
Empathetic ListeningEmpathetic Listening
Is a sincere attempt on the part of the listener to understand, in depth, what a speaker is saying
Empathetic Listening requires Empathetic Listening requires listeners to...listeners to...
• Put themselves in the speakers Put themselves in the speakers place.place.
Empathetic Listening requires Empathetic Listening requires listeners to...listeners to...
• Put themselves in the speakers place.Put themselves in the speakers place.
• Imagine things from the speaker’s Imagine things from the speaker’s point of view.point of view.
Empathetic Listening requires Empathetic Listening requires listeners to...listeners to...
• Put themselves in the speakers place.Put themselves in the speakers place.
• Imagine things from the speaker’s point Imagine things from the speaker’s point of view.of view.
• Try to understand how the speaker Try to understand how the speaker feels.feels.
Exercise in Effective Listening
ROLE PLAY
HOW DID WE DO?
a a positive presentpositive present
as as opposed to to aa
negative past negative past
Listeners should always strive to create
Listening is the Listening is the
key elementkey element in in
giving giving
and and
receiving receiving
feedbackfeedback
Tips on Giving FeedbackTips on Giving Feedback• Be HELPFULBe HELPFUL
Tips on Giving FeedbackTips on Giving Feedback• Be HELPFULBe HELPFUL
• Is recipient open to feedback? (ask!)Is recipient open to feedback? (ask!)
Tips on Giving FeedbackTips on Giving Feedback• Be HELPFULBe HELPFUL
• Is recipient open to feedback? (ask!)Is recipient open to feedback? (ask!)• Deal only with changeable behaviorDeal only with changeable behavior
Tips on Giving FeedbackTips on Giving Feedback• Be HELPFULBe HELPFUL
• Is recipient open to feedback? (ask!)Is recipient open to feedback? (ask!)
• Deal only with changeable behavior Deal only with changeable behavior
• Deal with specifics, not generalitiesDeal with specifics, not generalities
Tips on Giving FeedbackTips on Giving Feedback• Be HELPFULBe HELPFUL
• Is recipient open to feedback? (ask!)Is recipient open to feedback? (ask!)
• Deal only with changeable behavior Deal only with changeable behavior
• Deal with specifics, not generalitiesDeal with specifics, not generalities
• Describe behavior -- do not judge itDescribe behavior -- do not judge it
Tips on Giving FeedbackTips on Giving Feedback• Be HELPFULBe HELPFUL
• Is recipient open to feedback? (ask!)Is recipient open to feedback? (ask!)
• Deal only with changeable behavior Deal only with changeable behavior
• Deal with specifics, not generalitiesDeal with specifics, not generalities
• Describe behavior -- do not judge itDescribe behavior -- do not judge it
• Describe the impact on youDescribe the impact on you
Tips on Giving FeedbackTips on Giving Feedback• Be HELPFULBe HELPFUL
• Is recipient open to feedback? (ask!)Is recipient open to feedback? (ask!)
• Deal only with changeable behavior Deal only with changeable behavior
• Deal with specifics, not generalitiesDeal with specifics, not generalities
• Describe behavior -- do not judge itDescribe behavior -- do not judge it
• Describe the impact on youDescribe the impact on you
• Accept your responsibilityAccept your responsibility
Tips on Giving FeedbackTips on Giving Feedback• Be HELPFULBe HELPFUL
• Is recipient open to feedback? (ask!)Is recipient open to feedback? (ask!)
• Deal only with changeable behavior Deal only with changeable behavior
• Deal with specifics, not generalitiesDeal with specifics, not generalities
• Describe behavior -- do not judge itDescribe behavior -- do not judge it
• Describe the impact on youDescribe the impact on you
• Accept your responsibilityAccept your responsibility
• Check understandingCheck understanding
You can give caring feedback You can give caring feedback without a good technique,without a good technique,
but the slickest technique in the but the slickest technique in the world will not hide a lack of world will not hide a lack of caring.caring.
Tips on Receiving FeedbackTips on Receiving Feedback
• Seek FeedbackSeek Feedback
Tips on Receiving FeedbackTips on Receiving Feedback
• Seek FeedbackSeek Feedback
• Listen CarefullyListen Carefully
Tips on Receiving FeedbackTips on Receiving Feedback
• Seek FeedbackSeek Feedback
• Listen CarefullyListen Carefully
• Listen activelyListen actively
Tips on Receiving FeedbackTips on Receiving Feedback
• Seek FeedbackSeek Feedback
• Listen CarefullyListen Carefully
• Listen activelyListen actively
• Listen empatheticallyListen empathetically
Tips on Receiving FeedbackTips on Receiving Feedback
• Seek FeedbackSeek Feedback
• Listen CarefullyListen Carefully
• Listen activelyListen actively
• Listen empatheticallyListen empathetically
• Notice how you are feelingNotice how you are feeling
RecapRecap
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