Middle Level Parent Meetings By Dave Tikker WSSAAA Executive
Director Counselor/AD/ Mt Side Middle School
[email protected]
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Seek first to Understand, then be Understood When you're
entrusted with a parent's most precious possession, their kids,
they deserve to get the best you can do.
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Im not the Expert on Parent Meetings 33 years in Education-
coached 60 teams- had maybe 5 parent meetings- all in the last two
years Because?
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Need to Educate Parents 1. Unhealthy Perspective At the mercy
of their athletic experiences 2. Obligation to District to keep
Activities Educational Poor parent conduct compromises that 3.
First child in activities Not sure what to expect 4.What are you
teaching? They need to know big picture
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Stories Basketball Parent Softball parent Wrestling Parent
Other Stories Why dont they know better?
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Encyclopedia of Sports Parenting by Dan Doyle 2004 in the USA-
475,000 4 th grade boys playing organized basketball 87,000 seniors
playing high school basketball 59% think they will get a
scholarship 1560 Division 1 scholarships 1350 Div 11 scholarships
1400 Div 111 opportunities 30 will play in the NBA 2.9 % HS to
NCAA/1.3 NCAA to Pro
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60 % of Parents Believe Their Kid is Going to Get a Scholarship
Reasonable to Assume that the we of teams with most parents becomes
an I really quick when there kids start competing at middle level
and beyond. Thats always the sticky wicket because a lot of parents
have a plan for their kiddos. Help parents understand that the
educational mission with activities has nothing to do with athletic
scholarships and specialization.
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How do you communicate that to parents? Parent Meetings
Handouts Both? Communicate Schools Mission Communicate coaches
responsibilities Communicate Parent Code of Ethics Communicate
practice and game specifics Value of Activities- teaching more then
skills
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Share with Parents What we Teach in our Programs Effective
Decision Maker Personal Effort and Work Ethic Self Control Personal
Confidence Accountability for personal conduct, roles and
responsibilities
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What should you be Teaching Academic Commitments School
Attendance Respect Civility Positive Conduct In-School
Out-of-School
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What should you be Teaching Exploration/ not specialization
Strengthen fundamental skills Teamwork and sportsmanship
Resiliency, Who is going to argue against this type of instruction?
What parents have really defined this level of instruction?
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Lack of Communication Schools Achilles Heel Signed expectation
sheet imperative this day and age District Position on Controversy
supportive if you are clear with pre-season expectations Ex:
Football Player
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What Info Needs to be Shared at a Meeting or in Handout 1.
Positive, Positive, Positive welcome A. Starts with Coach or AD-
Our programs are a good thing act like it. 2.Introduce staff- share
district philosophy A. Slides 5-7 teaching tips- handouts 3. Game
and Practice Schedule- distribute and reference district policy
about transportation- pick up 4. Communication Process- Players and
parents 5. Academic and Discipline Policy- 6. Parent Role in Middle
School Sports
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Parent Role- (Give them Tom Doyle's Book- The Sports Parent
Manual if Possible) [email protected] Be a parent- not a coach
Be positive No gossip or negative comments Emphasize the fun
Victory of we over I ( SPM) Happiest moments are the we moments,
loneliest are the I moments
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Parent Role Continued Toms Book on Parenting- Here is some
advice from your kids that Tom has gathered over the years- page 24
of his book Dont get frustrated if Im not playing well or the team
is losing Dont become too involved in our sports lives Stay in the
stands and dont embarrass me with what you say or yell Encourage me
regardless of performance
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Parent Role Continued Dont talk to my coach about playing time,
its between the players and the coach Relax and make it fun for me
by the way you respond Dont make a scene Remember its our team, not
yours Its not life or death, its just a game Be realistic about my
abilities
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Parent Role Continued Dont relive your own athletic experience
through me Talk about my improvement Respect my coach Love me in a
loss
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Finish Strong End with Positive reinforcement of their support
and the joy of participating for their son or daughter. Give e-mail
address but no phone # Reinforce getting to know parents- their
support over the years will be vital in your communities and
programs remaining strong Thank them for their trust and being able
to release their son or daughter to you for the season.
Positive Parents Lots of great parents Dont discount importance
of getting to know parents We need their support Coaches role to
nurture those relationships whenever possible Find ways to be
positive with parents about their son/daughter- game
interactions
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Experience the Joy Should be fun for kids and parents Try and
look at big picture we Middle School Could Be Last Chance to
Experience a variety of activities More concerned with availability
then ability Together lets put programs in proper perspective
Nothing Better in Sports Allowing Yourself to Experience the Joy of
Competition- help parents reflect on the benefits of that in our
programs