Welcome
Have you ever thought Have you ever thought about why we like about why we like Hershey Kisses?Hershey Kisses?
They taste good. They taste good. We feel better when we eat them.We feel better when we eat them.They are predictable. They are predictable. They meet our expectations.They meet our expectations.
The Magic of a Box of The Magic of a Box of ChocolatesChocolates
Sometimes we don’t know what is in the box.Sometimes we don’t know what is in the box. For some there is love and excitement.For some there is love and excitement. For some there is good along with the bad. For some there is good along with the bad. Sometimes they meltSometimes they melt Sometimes the choices do not meet our expectations.Sometimes the choices do not meet our expectations. Sometimes the choices exceed our expectations!Sometimes the choices exceed our expectations! Sometimes we just can’t say “No”Sometimes we just can’t say “No”
“Life is like a box of
chocolates”
Hopes and Goals:
•Provoke thought!
•Share some meaningful skills.
•Enjoy our time together
•Be more like Mama! (Forrest)
Identify something that makes you smile!
Identify something that makes you laugh
Something you are Something you are thankfulthankfulA priority
in your life
Identify something you are proud of
Things you are
thankful for!
Something you do to Something you do to recover from the day.recover from the day.
“Stuff HappensForrest Gump
Which of these affects your life?
Rate of Change
Loss of controlLoss of control
Relationships are Relationships are complicatedcomplicated
Communicating effectivelyCommunicating effectively
Money Money IssuesIssues
How expensive is your chocolate?
Media Influences
Culture ChangeJob Loss
Divorce
Death
Relationship issues
Financial Issues
SYMPTOMS SYMPTOMS ANXIETYANXIETYMUSCLE TENSIONMUSCLE TENSIONSLEEP RELATED ISSUESSLEEP RELATED ISSUESSTOMACH PROBLEMSSTOMACH PROBLEMSDEPRESSIONDEPRESSIONIMMUNE SYSTEM IMMUNE SYSTEM
How many of these do you have?
Headaches
Heartaches
Backaches
Sadness
TensionANXIETY
““Life is like a two Life is like a two minute warning”minute warning”
“Forrest Gump”“Forrest Gump”
Make ChoicesMake Choices
FACTORS TO REDUCE ANXIETY
• NUTRTIONAL CONCERNS
• TENSION RELEASE AND DIVERSION
• COPING RESPONSES
•BELLY BREATHING
How many of you have sleep problems?
Actions you can take!
Prior to SleepCREATE RITUALS SLOW DOWN ONE TO TWO HOURS
BEFORE BED AVOID HEAVY MEALS & SNACKINGAVOID ALCOHOL And CAFFINE SLEEP IN ONE PLACENO TV,FOOD OR COMPUTER IN BED ROOM
TROUBLE GETTING TO SLEEP
AVOID IRRITANTS DO DEEP BREATHING OR DEEP MUSCLES
RELAXATIONS. LIMIT TIME TO BE RESTLESS.LIMIT LIGHT AND SOUNDSTILL CAN’T SLEEP GET UP – BE
POSITIVE
TROUBLE STAYING ASLEEP
DEEP RELAXATIONSNOTE PAD – WRITE THOUGHTSSET LIMITSGET UP AND BE POSITIVE
““Stupid is as Stupid is as stupid does!”stupid does!”
Forrest GumpForrest Gump
CHALLENGES WE CHALLENGES WE CREATECREATE
Things we do to ourselves!
CHOICES
WorryWorry
Challenge One
WORRY
Worry is like a rocking Worry is like a rocking chair: It gives you chair: It gives you something to do, but it something to do, but it doesn't get you doesn't get you anywhere.anywhere.
Erma BombeckErma Bombeck, , God's Little God's Little
Devotional Book for mothersDevotional Book for mothersUS author & humorist (1927 - 1996)US author & humorist (1927 - 1996)
The Nature of WorryThe Nature of WorryNon productive
thought
Same Concern
Morethought
Concern
Reoccurring thoughts
So what can you do?So what can you do?
SeekSeek
ActionAction
Be Clear worry is…Be Clear worry is…
Not productiveNot productiveNot rationalNot rationalEmotionally chargedEmotionally chargedMay have some truth in itMay have some truth in it
RE-DIRECT RE-DIRECT
YOUR YOUR THOUGHTS!THOUGHTS!
Seek ideas to improve upon the worst?
Act
Action Options Dale Carnegie
SEEK DIVERSIONSEXERCISE/ SPORTS HOBBIESESCAPES / MOVIES/
ENTERTAINMENT
CHALLENGE TWO
The UncontrollableSITAUTIONSAnd Worry
You have CONTROL and your
actions are evident
You have NO Control
and NO actions are evident
Action
Is
The Key
Acceptance can be an
Action
SITUATIONS MAY INCLUDE
ADDICTIONS
CHRONIC ILLNESS
FINANCIAL ISSUES
SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN
GENERAL ACTIONS YOU CAN SEEK
KNOWLEDGE AND LEARNINGSELF CAREBOUNDARIESSUPPORTSELF CARESTOP ENABLINGSTOP BEING A VICTUM
Acceptance is an action
IMAGES REALITIES
You have choices:You have choices:
+
YOUR LIFE IS MADE UP OF:
IF YOUR IMAGE OF LIFE AND YOUR IF YOUR IMAGE OF LIFE AND YOUR REALITY OF LIFE ARE REALITY OF LIFE ARE NOTNOT THE THE
SAME!SAME!
IMAGEIMAGE++REALITYREALITY==YOU YOU will be: will be:
YOURCHOICES
Change Your Reality!Change Your Reality! Image Image + + RealityReality == HAPPYHAPPY
Find the NEW dog YOU Find the NEW dog YOU REALLY WANT!REALLY WANT!
Change your image!Change your image!(New)(New)
Image + Reality =Image + Reality = HAPPY HAPPY
ACCEPT the dog you have!
IT’S YOUR LIFEIT’S YOUR LIFE
ACCEPTANCE IS A CHOICE
DO YOU HAVE ANY DOGS DO YOU HAVE ANY DOGS YOU DON’T WANT? YOU DON’T WANT?
OR OR
DO YOU HAVE ANY DO YOU HAVE ANY IMAGES/REALTIES YOU NEED IMAGES/REALTIES YOU NEED
TO CHANGE?TO CHANGE?
ACCEPTANCE IS A PROCESS!ACCEPTANCE IS A PROCESS!
Acceptance Is not complacency
Related actions may be: Reduce “Enabling”Denial does not work
CHALLENGE CHALLENGE THREETHREE
HOLDING ONHOLDING ON
Holding On Can be a Problem!Holding On Can be a Problem!
•Negative•Stuck in the past•Fatigued •Full of Resentment •Sarcastic•Angry
HOLDING-ON BEHAVIORS
Letting Go IS A Letting Go IS A Source of PowerSource of Power
Forgiveness
OPTIONSOPTIONSSeek helpSeek help
Talk to a friend or spouseTalk to a friend or spouseTalk to a clergyTalk to a clergySeek counselingSeek counselingGet on line and look for support Get on line and look for support
groupsgroups
““That is all I have to That is all I have to say about that.”say about that.”
Forrest GumpForrest Gump
So where do we go from hear?
CHALLENGE FOUR
CLEAR PRIORTIES
UnderstandingPriorities
OrderEnergySimplicity
What you focus on grows
Create PositiveMental Images
Setting Boundaries
“Good fences make good
neighbors”
Setting Boundaries
“Good Fences Make Good Neighbors”
Saying No!
++Sandwich Technique
Elements of saying “No”
Positive feeling messageNegative content message
Positive feeling message.
Positive Feeling Response:
Thank you for asking.
I can hear this is important to you!
I appreciate you thinking of me.
I can’t imagine the task that you have in front of you.
Negative Content I would be glad to help if ….
I would be glad to take you to the mall when…
If would be willing to help you if you will…
I am not available but feel free to ask me next week.
Positive Feeling Conclusion:
Thank you again for considering me.
I appreciate your thinking of me. Feel free to call me next year.
If you can give me a weeks notice I would be glad to help you out.
Refusal skillsFocus on what you will do not
on what they have to do.
You are welcome to … but I am going to stay.
Thank you for offering but I am not hungry.
Spend time daily reflecting on the life you
would like!
Grow yourself new Grow yourself new each day.each day.
Discover your potentialsDiscover your potentials
Rituals Rituals Daily activities that Daily activities that
rejuvenate and restore rejuvenate and restore you physically, you physically, mentally and mentally and
spiritually.spiritually.
““Life is 10% what happens Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% what I to me and 90% what I choose to do about it! All choose to do about it! All I can do is play on the I can do is play on the one string I have and one string I have and that is that is my attitudemy attitude!”!”
Charles SwindollCharles Swindoll
Attitude is Positively Attitude is Positively impacted byimpacted by
Our beliefsOur beliefsOur choicesOur choicesThe amount of power we give to The amount of power we give to
someone or something elsesomeone or something elseBy getting out of ourselvesBy getting out of ourselves
Create AnCreate An
Attitude Attitude ofof
GratitudeGratitude
Give BackGive Back
Get out of yourself!
If you want to be enthusiastic,
you have to act enthusiastic!
Carnegie
Quiet your often and consciously!Quiet your often and consciously!Qui
et
your
self
FrequentlyDeep
Breathing
HUMOR
“Laughter is the best medicine”
Muscular Strengthand
Muscular Endurance
CardiovascularExercise Flexibility
SEEK TO KNOW SEEK TO KNOW YOURSELF YOURSELF
PHYSICALLYPHYSICALLY
Eat to live…Eat to live…Eat consciouslyEat consciously
Seek Healthy Seek Healthy RelationshipsRelationships
Take time to keep your Take time to keep your relationships current.relationships current.
Leave no business Leave no business unfinishedunfinished
Pray and/or Pray and/or ReflectionReflection
Take time daily to be with yourself Take time daily to be with yourself and to listen to the voice inside.and to listen to the voice inside.
Prayer and Meditation are avenues Prayer and Meditation are avenues to finding peace and healing the to finding peace and healing the soulsoul
Be ExpressiveBe Expressive JOY IN THE CREATION YOURSELF IN ANDJOY IN THE CREATION YOURSELF IN AND LOOSE THE MOMENTLOOSE THE MOMENT
JOY IN THE JOY IN THE CREATIONCREATION
If you always do
What you always did,
You will always feel
What you always felt!
It’s your choiceIt’s your choice
Enjoy the ChocolateEnjoy the Chocolate
“Life is like a box of
chocolates”
Dr. Jim ScottFor more information:
Call 517-784-1332Website\contact: http://drjimscott.com
On line course: Managing Stress and Holistic Health HPF 283 Jackson Community College
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