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Learning Your OwnResilienceLearning Your OwnResilience
Presented by Nancy Dranitsaris
Centre for Mindful Therapies
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Agenda
3 Key ChallengesKey Challenges
3 Empathy or Compassion FatigueEmpathy or Compassion Fatigue
3 The Brain and Emotional ManagementThe Brain and Emotional Management
3
React vs. RespondReact vs. Respond3 Tools & TechniquesTools & Techniques
3 Introduction to MindfulnessIntroduction to Mindfulness
3 Three-Minute Breathing SpaceThree-Minute Breathing Space
3 Next StepsNext Steps
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Resilient Professionals3 Convey a sense of genuine commitment and confidence to helpConvey a sense of genuine commitment and confidence to help
with their clients stress levels and critical issueswith their clients stress levels and critical issues
3 Communicate competence and have a good sense of masteryCommunicate competence and have a good sense of mastery
with handling challenging and difficult clientswith handling challenging and difficult clients
3 Feel optimistic, positive, and energetic about the good workFeel optimistic, positive, and energetic about the good work
they do and have good coping resourcesthey do and have good coping resources
3 Have a purpose-driven life, find meaning with their professionHave a purpose-driven life, find meaning with their profession
and practice good self-care techniquesand practice good self-care techniques
3 Maintain excellent interpersonal insight and still have theMaintain excellent interpersonal insight and still have the
capacity for warmth, caring, and empathycapacity for warmth, caring, and empathy
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Theory of Empathy orCompassion Fatigue3 Persons who work in high touch professions arePersons who work in high touch professions are
more vulnerable than those that dontmore vulnerable than those that dont
3 A natural artifact of working with clients that haveA natural artifact of working with clients that have
intense acute and chronic physical conditions,intense acute and chronic physical conditions,
mental health conditions, and behavioral healthmental health conditions, and behavioral healthissues.issues.
3 Many times an unconscious process where theMany times an unconscious process where the
professional and those around them may notprofessional and those around them may not
recognize.recognize.
3 EF is cumulative and ranges on a continuum of low,EF is cumulative and ranges on a continuum of low,
moderate, and high levels of physical-emotional-moderate, and high levels of physical-emotional-
mental spiritual, and occupational exhaustion.mental spiritual, and occupational exhaustion.
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Button Pressing
3 Difficult clients elicit emotional reactionsDifficult clients elicit emotional reactions
3 Can shift us from objective responses toCan shift us from objective responses to
emotional reactionsemotional reactions
3 Understanding how this works and behavioursUnderstanding how this works and behaviours
associated with emotional reactions can helpassociated with emotional reactions can help
us depersonalizeus depersonalize
3 Need to understand how the brainNeed to understand how the brain
downshifts when we have our buttonsdownshifts when we have our buttons
pressedpressed
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Your Greatest Challenge
3 We all have clients who push ourWe all have clients who push our
buttons.buttons.
3
Exercise: Take a moment, reflect and:Exercise: Take a moment, reflect and:
Identify two or three challenging clientIdentify two or three challenging client
situationssituations
How does this situation press yourHow does this situation press your
buttonsbuttons
Share with the groupShare with the group
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The Triune Brain
3 The Reptilian BrainThe Reptilian Brain
SurvivalSurvival
Kill or be KilledKill or be Killed
3
Limbic SystemLimbic System Cooperation, bondingCooperation, bonding
Emotional memoryEmotional memory
Empathy, appetiteEmpathy, appetite
3 NeocortexNeocortex Planning, objectivityPlanning, objectivity
Interpretation and controlInterpretation and control
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Downshifting
3 When downshifting,When downshifting,
full use of thefull use of the
rational brain isrational brain is
suspended and moresuspended and morecontrol is given tocontrol is given to
our lower brainsour lower brains
3 We react usingWe react using
emotional reasoning,emotional reasoning,protecting ourselvesprotecting ourselves
from perceivedfrom perceived
threatsthreats
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Human Instinctive Drift
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Fight or Flight Reactions
3 Fight or flight reactions are the physiologicalFight or flight reactions are the physiologicalchanges we undergo when we perceive achanges we undergo when we perceive a
threat or attack from others.threat or attack from others.
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Cause of Empathy Fatigue
3 When hyper-arousal occurs duringWhen hyper-arousal occurs duringprolonged or chronic stress.prolonged or chronic stress.
3 There is an excessive release of stressThere is an excessive release of stress
hormones and neurotransmitters.hormones and neurotransmitters.
3 Internalizing the stress reaction doesntInternalizing the stress reaction doesntbring the resolution of fighting or fleeingbring the resolution of fighting or fleeing
and can lead to illness.and can lead to illness.
3 During prolonged or chronic stress,During prolonged or chronic stress,
hyper-arousal becomes a way of lifehyper-arousal becomes a way of lifeor normal.or normal.
3 We are in a constant state of fatigueWe are in a constant state of fatigue
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React Vs.RespondReact Vs.Respond
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React Vs. Respond
3 To React is to:To React is to:
be driven by motivations outside of awarenessbe driven by motivations outside of awareness
have an attachment to the outcomehave an attachment to the outcome
act based on assumptions or point of viewact based on assumptions or point of view
act before the other person has even finishedact before the other person has even finished
their sentencetheir sentence
feel subjected to a feeling or compelled tofeel subjected to a feeling or compelled toaction in answer to somethingaction in answer to something
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React Vs. Respond
3 Easier to react as it takes less immediateEasier to react as it takes less immediateeffort on our brains parteffort on our brains part
3 A reaction is instinctive, automatic andA reaction is instinctive, automatic and
based on the perception of threatbased on the perception of threat
3 Often we react when a dissatisfaction hasOften we react when a dissatisfaction has
built to the point of explosionbuilt to the point of explosion
3 We are more reactive when tired, sick orWe are more reactive when tired, sick orwhen our buttons are pushedwhen our buttons are pushed
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React Vs. Respond
3 To Respond is to:To Respond is to:
act or behave in answer to something with choiceact or behave in answer to something with choice
act consciously using objectivityact consciously using objectivity
choose to be fully present to whats happeningchoose to be fully present to whats happening
have no immediate concern about the outcomehave no immediate concern about the outcome
have a willingness to hear what is being said, sohave a willingness to hear what is being said, sowhen the other person is finished speaking, you canwhen the other person is finished speaking, you canrespond from a place of wanting to find a resolutionrespond from a place of wanting to find a resolution
and the other person feels like they were understood.and the other person feels like they were understood.
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React Vs. Respond
ReactReact RespondRespondKnee jerkKnee jerk ConsideredConsidered
Fear/Anger-basedFear/Anger-based CenteredCentered
AnxiousAnxious CalmCalm
Short TermShort Term Long TermLong Term
I winI win Nobody LosesNobody Loses
RushedRushed PoisedPoised
HabitualHabitual CreativeCreative
Quick fixQuick fix CureCure
Few optionsFew options Many optionsMany options
One-dimensionalOne-dimensional Whole personWhole person
UnsureUnsure KnowledgeableKnowledgeable
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React Vs. Respond
3 If you are willing to refocus away fromIf you are willing to refocus away fromemotional reactions, you can put yourself in aemotional reactions, you can put yourself in a
response mode.response mode.
3 Responding takes more effort.Responding takes more effort.
3 Responding forces us to grow and acceptResponding forces us to grow and accept
responsibility for our behaviour,responsibility for our behaviour,
3 However, communication and relationships areHowever, communication and relationships are
improved,improved,3 A response adds to what has already been saidA response adds to what has already been said
or done, but there is usually no drive oror done, but there is usually no drive or
pressure to make the response.pressure to make the response.
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Non Defensive
Communication andYour Reacting Style
Non Defensive
Communication andYour Reacting Style
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Non-DefensiveCommunication3 We use defensive behaviours when we areWe use defensive behaviours when we are
under attack by othersunder attack by others
3 It is normal and natural for us to becomeIt is normal and natural for us to become
defensive when the attack is realdefensive when the attack is real
3 However, there are times when we areHowever, there are times when we aredefensive when there is no direct attackdefensive when there is no direct attack
3 We are defensive because we perceive anWe are defensive because we perceive an
attackattack
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Non-DefensiveCommunication3 Reactions to defensive behaviours in othersReactions to defensive behaviours in others
are:are:
3 Avoidance behavioursAvoidance behaviours
shut downshut down
stifle our initiativestifle our initiative
fight back with passive aggressionfight back with passive aggression
3 Meet defensiveness with defensivenessMeet defensiveness with defensiveness
take an opposing positiontake an opposing position attack the other personattack the other person
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Non-DefensiveCommunication3 Reacting StylesReacting Styles
Used when stress is excessiveUsed when stress is excessive
Natural reaction to help us cope withNatural reaction to help us cope with
conflict or stressconflict or stress
Essential outlets to relieve stressEssential outlets to relieve stress
Tend to impair relationships with othersTend to impair relationships with others
Habitual use will greatly reduce ourHabitual use will greatly reduce our
effectiveness with otherseffectiveness with others
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Reacting Style Behaviour
3 Reactive behaviour as opposed to responsiveReactive behaviour as opposed to responsivebehaviourbehaviour
3 Indicates that the person is under excessive stressIndicates that the person is under excessive stress
3 Reactions come from the need to protect oneselfReactions come from the need to protect oneself
3 Makes interpersonal problem solving, orMakes interpersonal problem solving, ornegotiation, impossiblenegotiation, impossible
3 Need to recognize when others are reactingNeed to recognize when others are reacting
3 Need to recognize when you are reactingNeed to recognize when you are reacting
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Reacting Styles
3 There are four styles which help manage excessive tension:There are four styles which help manage excessive tension:
Driving Style - AutocratDriving Style - Autocrat
manages excessive tension by controlling people withmanages excessive tension by controlling people with
facts, logic, and reasonfacts, logic, and reason
Expressive Style - AttackerExpressive Style - Attacker manages excessive tension by controlling people withmanages excessive tension by controlling people with
emotions and feelingsemotions and feelings
Amiable Style - AcquiescerAmiable Style - Acquiescer
manages excessive tension by giving in to peoplemanages excessive tension by giving in to people
Analytical Style - AvoiderAnalytical Style - Avoider
manages excessive tension by limiting his or hermanages excessive tension by limiting his or her
exposure to peopleexposure to people
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AVOID
(ANALYTICAL)
ACQUIESCER
(AMIABLE)
AUTOCRAT
(DRIVER)
ATTACKER
(EXPRESSIVE)
EMOTE
ASK TELL
CONTROL
Low HighAssertiveness
High
Re
sp
ons
ive
ne
ss
Low
Coping or Reacting Styles
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What is Your ReactingStyle?
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Non-DefensiveCommunication3 The challenge is:The challenge is:
to know when we are in our Reacting Styleto know when we are in our Reacting Style
to know when others are in their Reactingto know when others are in their Reacting
Style and not react to itStyle and not react to it
to accept it as normal and naturalto accept it as normal and natural
to keep from making it habitualto keep from making it habitual
to work to minimize itto work to minimize it
to keep from triggering backup behaviour into keep from triggering backup behaviour inothersothers
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Non-DefensiveCommunication Exercise
3 Write out a client conflict situation.Write out a client conflict situation.
Based on a past, present or recurringBased on a past, present or recurring
problem / conflict.problem / conflict.
3 Identify:Identify:
what goes/went wrongwhat goes/went wrong
what is/was the objective of the discussionwhat is/was the objective of the discussion
what might be/have been done differentlywhat might be/have been done differently
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Tips for BuildingResilience
Tips for BuildingResilience
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What is Mindfulness?3
Mindfulness is a way of developing greater awareness andMindfulness is a way of developing greater awareness andcontrol of habitual negative thought patterns, and automaticcontrol of habitual negative thought patterns, and automatic
emotional, physiological and behavioral reactions.emotional, physiological and behavioral reactions.
3 Mindfulness is about the stance you take to all that occurs,Mindfulness is about the stance you take to all that occurs,
the easy and the difficult.the easy and the difficult.
3 Allowing, not avoiding, the difficult mental states does notAllowing, not avoiding, the difficult mental states does not
mean liking them, or condoning them, or being passivelymean liking them, or condoning them, or being passivelyresigned to them.resigned to them.
3 Mindfulness is a way of responding to stress rather thanMindfulness is a way of responding to stress rather than
reacting to it.reacting to it.
3 Mindfulness is not about achieving a blissed-out state, or anMindfulness is not about achieving a blissed-out state, or an
empty mind, or peace of mind.empty mind, or peace of mind.
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Breathing and Mindfulness
Follow Breath
RegainAwareness
GetDistracted
Th Mi B hi
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Three Minute BreathingSpace3 Complete the following 3 steps with acceptance andComplete the following 3 steps with acceptance and3 without judgment:without judgment:
3 Step One: Focus awareness on the range of internalStep One: Focus awareness on the range of internal
experiences happening right nowexperiences happening right now
include body sensationsinclude body sensations
notice thoughts and emotional statesnotice thoughts and emotional states
3 Step Two: Focus full attention on the movement andStep Two: Focus full attention on the movement and
sensations of breathingsensations of breathing
3 Step Three: Expand awareness to the body as a wholeStep Three: Expand awareness to the body as a whole
including posture and facial expressionincluding posture and facial expression notice the sensations that are presentnotice the sensations that are present
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Tips for Building Resilience
3 DoDo
Find someone to talk toFind someone to talk to
Understand that the pain you feel isUnderstand that the pain you feel is
normalnormal
Start exercising and eating properlyStart exercising and eating properly
Get enough sleepGet enough sleep
Take some time offTake some time off
Develop interests outside of yourDevelop interests outside of your
professionprofession
Identify what's important to youIdentify what's important to you
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Tips for Building Resilience
3 Don't:Don't:
Blame othersBlame others
Look for a new job, buy a new car, get aLook for a new job, buy a new car, get a
divorce or have an affairdivorce or have an affair Fall into the habit of complaining with yourFall into the habit of complaining with your
colleaguescolleagues
Pick a fight with a co-workerPick a fight with a co-worker
Work harder and longerWork harder and longer
Self-medicateSelf-medicate
Neglect your own needs and interestsNeglect your own needs and interests
Ti f M i Diffi lt
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Tips for Managing DifficultClients3 Remember to breathe!Remember to breathe!
3 Be conscious of the tendency to react to theBe conscious of the tendency to react to theemotion being expressed. Choose instead toemotion being expressed. Choose instead torespond mindfully to the situationrespond mindfully to the situation
3 Be aware of the limits of your ability to help,Be aware of the limits of your ability to help,and develop the capacity to recognize whenand develop the capacity to recognize whenyou have reached those limitsyou have reached those limits
3
Develop awareness of what triggers you toDevelop awareness of what triggers you todownshift words, tones, etc. Learn todownshift words, tones, etc. Learn torecognize when its happening so you canrecognize when its happening so you canbring yourself out of itbring yourself out of it
Ti f M i Diffi lt
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Tips for Managing DifficultClients3 Learn to accept what you do and do not haveLearn to accept what you do and do not have
control overcontrol over
3 Learn techniques for de-personalizationLearn techniques for de-personalization
3 Recognize when your ability to empathize isRecognize when your ability to empathize isleading to being taken advantage of by a clientleading to being taken advantage of by a client
3 Understand that sometimes being compassionateUnderstand that sometimes being compassionate
means saying no. While you can understand andmeans saying no. While you can understand and
acknowledge a persons difficulty, it is not youracknowledge a persons difficulty, it is not yourresponsibility to carry it for themresponsibility to carry it for them
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