Honoring Parents by Offering Healthy Relationship Education
Presenters: Kim Allen, Ph.D.
Director of the Center on Adolescent Sexuality, Pregnancy and Parenting (CASPP) Human Development/Family Studies State Specialist
North American Society of Adlerian Psychology ConferenceJune, 2009
Understanding Poverty
“No significant learning occurs without a significant relationship.”
-- Dr. James Comer
Situational Versus Generational
Situational poverty Results from a change in circumstances – job loss, divorce, death of a spouse. Values and behaviors of the socioeconomic class from which people come
remain with them. Tend to have more resources. May be more employable because they often have a higher level of education.
Generational poverty Two or more generations of the same family have lived in poverty. May be better able to cope with living in poverty. Tend to have predictable patterns of behavior.
Sources:Payne, R. K. (1998). A Framework for understanding poverty. Highlands, TX: RFT Publishing.Payne, R. K., DeVol, P. E., & Smith, T. D. (1999). Bridges out of poverty: Strategies for professionals and
communities. Highlands, TX: RFT Publishing.
Hidden RulesAmong Socioeconomic Classes
Poverty Middle Class WealthPOSSESSIONS People Things One-of-a-kind items
MONEY To be used, spent To be managed To be conserved, invested
FOOD Quantity is key Quality is key Presentation is key
TIME Present is most important
Future is most important
Traditions and history are most important
PERSONALITY Value humor Value achievement
Value financial, political, and social connections
DRIVING FORCES Survival, relationships, entertainment
Work, achievement
Financial, political, social connections
Source:Payne, R. K. (1998). A Framework for understanding poverty. Highlands, TX: RFT Publishing.
Tyranny of the Moment
Life is unpredictable – every day there is a new crisis that must be dealt with. Lack of affordable and dependable child care Unreliable transportation Job stability
Because there are few certainties, it is difficult to plan ahead.
Language Differences When attention is focused on survival, other areas tend to suffer.
Sources:Paris, S. G., & Stahl, S. J. (Eds.). (2005). Children’s reading comprehension and assessment. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.Payne, R. K., DeVol, P. E., & Smith, T. D. (1999). Bridges out of poverty: Strategies for professionals and communities. Highlands, TX: RFT Publishing.
By age 4, children are exposed to the following number of words:
Professional parents 45 million
Working class 22 million
Poverty 13 million
Between the ages of 1 and 3, children receive the following ratio of positive to negative comments:
Professional parents 5 positive for every 2 negative
Working class 2 positive for every 1 negative
Poverty 1 positive for every 2 negative
Fragile Family Research
• Young• Unmarried• African-American, Latino, and Caucasian• Parents• Often with Educational Issues• Sometimes with Counseling Aversions• Often from Families without Positive Marriage Traditions• On the Cusp of Generational Poverty• With More Dreams than Skills
What Is Connecting for Children?
Partnership between University of Missouri Extension and Central Missouri Community Action Head Start
Funded by the Office of Head Start Healthy Marriage Initiative
Features Weekend Retreats and Relationship Workshops
What Is Connecting for Children?
Eligibility guidelines: Pregnant or have a child age 5 or younger Single or in a non-violent relationship Live in one of the following counties: Audrain, Boone, Callaway,
Cole, Cooper, Howard, Moniteau, or Osage Income-eligible for Head Start (130% of poverty level) Participation is voluntary
Weekend Retreats All-expense paid Retreats – English or Spanish
Couples or co-parents Couples Part 2 Singles or people in relationships who are coming alone
Program pays for extra hotel room for caregiver and children when needed, as well as meals for all
Facilitated by Community Trainers Seven couples and three individuals trained
Ten Couples’ and three Singles’ Retreats held to date
Couples’ RetreatsLove’s Cradle curriculum, by Mary Ortwein & Bernard Guerney
Focuses on the following skills provided in the curriculum: Showing Understanding Expression Skill Discussion Skill Problem Solving Managing Conflict
Couples’ Retreats - Part 2
Love’s Cradle curriculum, by Mary Ortwein & Bernard Guerney
Focuses on the following skills provided in the curriculum: Coaching Skill Maintaining Changes Using Skills Any Time, Any Place Following Through on Change Helping Others Change
Option being offered beginning in Year 2 of our grant; 16 couples have already expressed an interest
Singles’ Retreats How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk(ette) curriculum, by John Van Epp
Helps participants learn how to build healthy relationships using both
head and heart – emphasizes pacing a relationship.
Love’s Cradle curriculum, by Mary Ortwein & Bernard Guerney
Addresses the skills that can help regardless of whether or not
participants are in a relationship – Showing Understanding, Expression
Skill, and Discussion Skill.
Educational Workshops
Saturday or Weekly Sessions – English or Spanish Weeknights – Cover 1-2 topics over several months Saturdays – Cover 4 topics over three Saturdays
Workshop Topics Getting to Know You Lighten Up—Love and Laughter Couple Communication Fire Prevention: Managing Conflict in Relationships Family Ties – Complex Family Relationships Money, Money, Money To Work Healthy Minds Healthy Relationships Parenting with Love Just Cool It! Managing Anger in Couple Relationships Safety
In working with a low income audience, what are some things we need to do
to be successful?
Building an Inclusive Program
What Experts Say What We Do With CFC
Be attentive to DV concerns DV screening at intakeConsult with a DV specialist
Build partnerships with community agencies
Work with community agencies to help us recruit
Invite members of the target audience to a focus group
Invited a Head Start family to participate on the CFC Advisory BoardGather feedback from participants after each session
Have plenty of food available Have extra food and snacks at each session
Use the media Show a video clip to start off each session
Building an Inclusive Program
What Experts Say What We Do With CFC
Use humor Encourage facilitators to use humor
Use simple, informal language; Casual Register
Materials are written at a 5th grade reading levelFacilitators are taught to use casual register with participants—they attend a poverty training prior to facilitating
Use incentives as a reduction to barriers Give participants gift cards and gas cards
Be sensitive to the ‘tyranny of the moment’
Participants who do not show up are given an opportunity to attend future events
Less lecture, more activity Lessons are activity-based
Resources Marketing materials Curricula
Questions?
Thank You!
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