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The 16 Guidelines for a Happy Life
www.terrapinn.com www.essential-education.org
Get Real
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Why happiness?
Everyone wants to be happy and to avoid suering its the basic driver behind
just about everything we think, say and do. Its also one o the hottest topics in the
media, and has spawned a global industry o books and research projects.
For many people, the more they chase ater happiness, the more it seems to elude
them. Why is it that there is so little understanding o what causes us to be happy
and to suer? Despite decades o economic progress, scientic studies show that
there has been no corresponding improvement in our happiness.
The 16 Guidelines for a Happy Life Get Realis a call to action,both personally
and in our working lives.
What are the 16 Guidelines for a Happy Life?
The 16 Guidelines are inspired by a set o timeless advice or everyday lie that was introduced into
seventh century Tibet by King Songtsen Gampo. They are suitable or people o any culture or aith
tradition.
I you nd them challenging, remember that Thomas Edison said he invented the light bulb because hed
previously invented 99 things that werent a light bulb. We all have more power and capacity or change
than we realise.
The Guidelines are being brought alive or the 21st century by Universal Compassion and Wisdom or
Peace, an educational charity whose aim is to help people to be kind and wise. A ull scale book is being
launched at the 1st European Conerence on Happiness and its Causesin London in October 2007. They
are also being piloted around the world in the orm o study groups, school programmes, arts projects and
a yoga programme. A parents kit is underway
How can you get involved?
Feedback and suggestions or the uture development o the Guidelines are extremely welcome:
Have they been helpul to you?
Do you have any great stories or interesting links to add? Can you help us to share them with more people?
Contact: [email protected] www.happinessanditscauses.org
Life would be so wonderful
if we only knew what to do with it
(Greta Garbo, USA)
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The 16 Guidelines for a Happy Life
HOW WE THINK
Transorm your mind, transorm your lie
HOW WE FIND MEANINGI everything is changing, anything is possible
HOW WE ACT
Every skilul action makes a better world
4. delight
5. kindness
6. honesty
7. skilful speech
8. generosity
9. respect
10. forgiveness
11. gratitude
12. loyalty
13. principles
14. aspiration
15. love
16. responsibility
1. humility
2. tolerance
3. contentment
HOW WE RELATE TO OTHERSCherish others: Independence is a myth
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How we think transorm your mind: tr
In 1978 the Russian virtuouso pianist Vladimir
Horowitz was invited to play Rachmaninovs
third piano concerto to a select audience at
Carnegie Hall, New York. The concerto was
one o his avourite pieces o music - he had
been playing it or nearly thirty years and the
perormance was phenomenal. The virtuosity
and technical skill o the master pianist let the
audience spellbound. Ater the perormance,
a young piano student nervously came up toask a question. Sir, how long have you taken
to prepare this piece? Horowitz replied I am
still working on it!
Challenge
I never met a man so ignorant that I couldnt
learn something from him
(Galileo Galilei, Italy)
Find out more about Level 5 Leadership a paradoxical blend o erce will and personal humility google
Humility The most beautiul word in the English Language try saying you are right more oten
1
Is there an area o your lie where you can integrate excellence and humility?
The Christian priest Thomas Merton said Pride makes us articial: humility makes us real.
More
humility
Humility is inseparable fromgratitude
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nsorm your lie
Do you have days when you are really bad tempered, or example
over breakast or in the car, bus or train to work? When you snap at
someone quite unnecessarily and pass on your mood to the next
person as i it was a contagious illness? I snap at the conductor,
who then gets angry with the next passenger and who then upsets
the receptionist as they walk into workit happens every day. We
are so interconnected that its possible that the person who jostles
me on the train tonight could be part o the same chain o anger
that I set in motion when I didnt have the right change or the ticket
machine this morning. Somewhere in our individual and collectivepsyches, we must have been conned into thinking that its ok to
respond to anger with more anger.
2 tolerance
We must learn to live together as brothers,
or perish together as fools.
(Martin Luther King, USA)
Challenge
There are 101 Tools or Toleranceon www.tolerance.org divided into the ve sections:
yoursel, your home, your school, your workplace and your community
Is there anyone you know who really irritates you?
Can you take ve minutes out, in a quiet spot, to think about what it is that gets on your nerves?Is there a quality in that person which you have a hard time accepting within yoursel?
Can you use this insight to bring some space into the situation?
More
Tolerance is the gateway to kindness, respectand love.
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How we think transorm your mind: tr
In the early 1980s the bestselling author Robert Kayosaki
helped high level executives explore how addiction to
excitement and drama isnt always the key to business
success. He created a ring toss game in which each
team was paid 1 dollar or getting the ring over a peg
just 3 eet away, graduating up to 20 dollars or scoring
a hit at 20 eet. The bigger the risk, the bigger the
potential payback. It took the winning team nearly 20
minutes to work out their strategy: or one o the team
to repeatedly score at a modest 3 eet, while everybodyelse physically kept her rom alling over. The message
was that being too greedy, and stretching too ar, can be
the biggest saboteur o business success. Sometimes
we need to do less, not more.
Challenge
Take a look at In Praise o Slowness (Carl Honore) i youve got a strong stomach,
watch Supersize Me
3
When Mick Jagger sang I cant get no satisaction,
he struck a chord with our modern addiction to more: speed, activity, possessions and reputation.When do restlessness and dissatisaction set in or you? Where do they lead?
Is there anything you can do to shit your response?
More
contentment
Contentment with what you have yourself will enable you to takedelightin the good fortune of others
There is more to life than
increasing its speed.
(Mahatma Gandhi, India)
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nsorm your lie
Whenever something good happens to someone we know, we
have a choice: either to eel envious, or to take delight. The latest
discoveries o neuroscience suggest that through exercising that
choice, we are actually wiring our brains or the uture. Proessor
Richard Davidson rom the University o Madison, Wisconsin, has
spent the last ew years measuring the high-requency brain activity
o people who are meditating on compassion. His ndings are that
activity in the let prerontal cortex, the seat o positive emotions
such as happiness, can swamp any activity in the right prerontal
the site o negative emotions and anxiety. Just as aerobics sculpt
the muscles, what you do with your mind is sculpting the very abric
o your brain.
4 delight
All animals except man know that the
ultimate of life is to enjoy it.
(Samuel Butler, UK)
Challenge
www.charityocus.org oers daily bulletins with inspiring good news stories
When a colleague gets a pay rise or a promotion, whats your rst response?
Can you turn the coldness o envy into the warmth o delight, through sincerely celebrating their success?
More
Delight is a form oflove wishing happiness for someone else
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How we act every skilul action make
Do you ever eel a thrill when you see someone act
with kindness or courage? In his book The Happiness
Hypothesis, Proessor Jonathan Haidt rom the
University o Virginia calls this elevation the
emotional response triggered by pure or virtuous
behaviour. His experiments indicate that the most
common response to seeing someone do something
good is to want to be with, love and help other people
yoursel. It is like a mental reset button that replaces
cynicism with hope and inspiration. In contrast, seeing
an act that triggers the negative emotion o disgustwill strengthen your ego boundaries and deences.
The implications are enormous.
Challenge
Watch a lm like Groundhog Day, Its a Wonderul Lieor Lie is Beautiulto remind yoursel
o the 360 degree benets that kindness will bring www.payitorwardoundation.org encourages
people to do a avour or someone else with no expectation o reward
5
The Dalai Lama says: I you can, help others. I you cant, at least try not to harm them.
Can you try to put this into practice or a whole day, both at work and at home?
More
kindness
Kindness is the short cut to every other Guideline
The basic attribute of mankind
is to look after each other.
(Fred Hollows, New Zealand/Australia)
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a better world
Muhammad Yunus won the 2006 Nobel Peace Prize or a scheme that
started with a simple loan o USD 27. As a trained economist, Yunus
was puzzled about why the people o Bangladesh were still so poor
despite decades o grants and oreign investment. The solution that
he ound was to lend money to the poorest o people, usually women,
without asking or any guarantee or collateral. More than 7 million
people have now beneted rom the Grameen Bank that he ounded,
which is entirely based on honesty and trust. His eorts to transorm
the vicious circle o low-income, low saving and low investment into
a virtuous circle o low income, injection o credit, investment, moreincome, more savings, more investment, more income have resulted in
even beggars being able to borrow money rom the bank that he set up.
His model is now being used all around the world.
6 honesty
Challenge
See www.muhammadyunus.org or more ino on the Grameen Bankget hold o a DVD o the lm The Corporation ...
join the Oxam campaign www.maketradeair.com
Is there an area o your lie where youre not as honest as youd like to be?
What are you invested in that traps you in that ongoing discomort?What do you need to make the shit and can you do it?
More
Lack of honesty is often the result of lack ofcontentment- the feelingthat what we already have is never enough
Money doesnt talk:
it swears.
(Bob Dylan, USA)
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How we act every skilul action make
DO YOU EVER RECEIVE A MEMO WHERE IT FEELS
THAT THE OTHER PERSON IS YELLING AT YOU?
A Christmas letter that gives you more inormation
about babies, pets or holiday adventures - than
you ever cared to know? An email that orders you to
orward a message o love to ten people or else? The
irony is that i we want to communicate eectively,
or help someone to change, quiet and gentle usually
works best. The people with the most power are oten
those who take up the least airspace.
Challenge
Speak Peace in a World o Confictby Marshall Rosenberg and his website www.cnvc.org oer
practical tools on the art o peaceul and creative communication
how much do you know about netiquette?...
go to www.nomuzak.co.uk to support a campaign or more quiet in public places
7
Mark Twain said: Noise proves nothing. Oten a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as i she
had laid an asteroid. What can you do to improve the quality o listening and speaking in your oce?
More
skilful speech
How you speak is a direct expression of how you think about others whetheryou feel respectorgratitude, or want to showkindness orlove. Your colleagues,
friends and family probably pick up more of the meaning behind your
words than you realise.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will
make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.
(Eric Idle, UK)
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a better world
In 1994, when the ootwear manuacturer Timberland was losing
money and acing a liquidity crisis, the investors ordered its CEO Je
Schwarz to curtail its long-established Path o Service programme.
None o this painting ences and hugging trees: it stops was the
message. At that time, every Timberland employee was entitled to
20 hours o community service. The same aternoon, Je changed
that to 40 hours. In a time o diculty, his priority was to strengthen
the culture and commitment o the company. Timberland now makes
around USD 1.5 billion revenue per year, with earnings per share at
about 19%. For the past ve years its been on the Forbes MagazinePlatinum Index and voted one o the best companies to work or in the
USA. Looking back at the turnaround, Je said: It was all about asking
or the greatness in people.
8 generosity
Challenge
Look up git economyon Wikipedia
the lm Babettes Feastshows how generosity can take unexpectedly creative orms
google volunteering and nd one thing that you can do
Is generosity simply about giving away something that we dont really want or need, or is it more than that?
Can you nd a way o sharing your time, skills or resources that would be a stretch or you?
More
Generosity and responsibility reinforce each other.
You make a living by what you get.
You make a life by what you give.
(Winston Churchill, UK)
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How we relate to others cherish othe
A man walked into an interview in the City o London, or a
job that he particularly wanted to get. There was a fipchart
in one corner o the room and, without saying anything, he
stuck a photo o a amous artist up on it. He was the outside
candidate, so it was a tough interview. Not surprisingly, the
rst question was: Who is that photograph, and why did you
put it there? He replied that all his lie hed been inspired
by this particular artist, because o his genius and creativity,
and that the photo was a reminder that he was committed to
developing the same qualities in himsel. When the interview
panel came to make a decision, it was easy to remember thecandidate with the photo. His personal vision and capacity to
respect the qualities o others got him the job.
Challenge
Check out the term ubuntu
get inspired at www.speaktruth.org
get thinking on www.rolemodel.net.
9
Take an honest look at the last ve years o your lie.
What people have you admired and copied?Are they taking you where you want to go?
More
respect
Developing principles andaspiration will enable us tochoose effective role models.
Let every man be respected as an individual
and no man idolised.
(Albert Einstein, Germany/Switzerland)
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s: independence is a myth
When the young academic Fred Luskin was just starting out
on what was to become the Stanord Forgiveness Project,
he needed some people to participate in a research study.
He didnt have any success in recruiting students rom the
university campus, so he turned to the local newspaper
or help. The editor gave him a fat no this isnt o
interest, and it wont sell my paper. Fred asked i he would
be prepared to take 5 minutes, and ask the sta in the
newspaper oce whether any o them elt they carried a
grudge. Hal an hour later the editor rang him back, oering
to take the advertisement. Its incredible! They all said theycarried a grudge!
10 forgiveness
Challenge
Visit www.theorgivenessproject.org
or inspiring real-lie stories o orgiveness nd out more on the work o
Bishop Desmond Tutu and the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Arica.
What grudges do you carry at the moment?
How does this aect your health and well-being?What do you need to do to regain your peace o mind?
More
Forgiveness is only possible when we have thehumility to appreciatethat were not always right.
To forgive is not just to be altruistic.
It is the best form of self-interest.
(Desmond Tutu, South Africa)
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How we relate to others cherish othe
In Torontos nancial district, a man recently threw his rst-
ever Nice Party, a glitzy gig to celebrate all the people in his
lie who he said were the key to his success. As a partner
in a nationwide lumber supply company, he had noticed a
relationship between the rise in his corporate clout and the
act that people were being nicer to him. So he decided to
honour those who were nice to him or no reason who
had nothing obvious to gain. The invitation list included the
doorman rom his condo unit, the manager at his avourite
restaurant, and some o his oldest riends and close amily.Nice is underrated read the invitation. And because you
deserve to be celebrated, this invitation goes out to the
nicest people we know.
Challenge
www.grateulness.org provides resources or living in the gentle power o grateulness
www.appreciative-inquiry.org outlines a model or meetings and appraisals based on
what is positive rather than on what is lacking in a person or a situation.
11
Is there someone who has changed your lie or the better, but may not be aware o it?
Can you nd an appropriate way to say thank you?
More
gratitude
Gratitude is intrinsically linked to thehumilitywhich realises that from themoment we were conceived, we havent achieved anything on our own.
The highest appreciation is not to utter words,
but to live by them.
(John F Kennedy, USA)
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s: independence is a myth
At the Special Olympics in Seattle, nine
contestants, all physically or mentally disabled,
assembled at the starting line or the 100-yard
dash. At the gun, one little boy stumbled on
the asphalt, tumbled over, and started to cry.
The other eight heard the boy cry. They slowed
down and looked back. Then they all turned
around and went backevery one o them. One
girl with Down Syndrome bent down and kissed
him, saying This will make it better. Then allnine linked arms and walked together to the
nish line. They got a standing ovation. Loyalty
is remembered long ater a race is won.
12 loyalty
Challenge
Working with Emotional Intelligenceby Daniel Goleman
proposes that EQ skills such as loyalty and teamwork can matter more than IQ.
What does loyalty mean to you?
Is it a orce or good in your lie and relationships?
More
Loyalty is part of taking responsibility for the welfare of others.With close friends and family, it often demandsforgiveness.
Its the friends you can call up
at 4am that matter.
(Marlene Dietrich, Germany)
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How we fnd meaning in lie I everyt
Do you ever get your goals and principles mixed up? A
amous experiment was conducted at Princeton University
in 1973, in which a group o theology students was asked
to walk across campus to deliver a sermon on the topic
o the Good Samaritan. As part o the research, some o
the students were told that they were late and needed to
hurry. Along the route, the researchers Darley and Batson
had placed an actor, who was lying on the ground in pain
and in need o help. In their haste to give a sermon on
compassion, 90% o the late students rom PrincetonTheology Seminary completely ignored the needs o the
suering person. Some o them literally stepped over him.
Challenge
Read The Triple Bottom Line(ed. Henriques & Richardson) on how businesses can simultaneously
deliver nancial, social and environmental benetslook up www.ethicalconsumer.org and
www.ethicaltraveller.org ... buy Change the World 9-5rom www.wearewhatwedo.org, a non-prot that
inspires people to use their everyday actions to change the world.
13
In 2002, the Industrial Society (UK) ound that 65% o businesses would change their policies i pushed by
their employees. What can you do to ensure that your workplace aligns more closely with your principles?Change starts with the power o one.
More
principles
Your principles are the bedrock for youraspirations.
An uneasy conscience is a
hair in the mouth
(Mark Twain, USA)
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ing is changing, anything is possible
In 1982, a major USA company created a
sta contest to nd energy-saving projects
with a high Return On Investment (ROI).
In the 1st year there were 27 winners, whose
projects led to capital investments o USD 1.7 million and
generated an average ROI o 173%. However the most
surprising aspect o the scheme was that instead o tailing
o ater the initial enthusiasm, it went rom strength to
strength. Ten years on, their employees are continuing to
generate imaginative energy-saving products and the ROIhas risen to an extraordinary 300%.
14 aspiration
Challenge
Look at The Business Guide to Sustainabilityby Darcy Hitchcok and Marsha Willard
or more stories and advice on energy-savingwww.wellgoal.com oers personal tools
or developing ocus and aspirationhave you heard about www.spiraldynamics.net - a stimulating
thesis about human and social development
Peter F Drucker saysUnless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.
Is there something that youd love to see happen which is so big that it would take more than one lietime?Are you willing to start it now?
More
Aspiration is the fuel for how we think, act and relate to others.
Ive often said, the only thing standing between
me and greatness is myself.
(Woody Allen, USA)
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How we fnd meaning in lie I everyt
Only the paranoid survive is a requent comment in
business. However in 1999 Helena Cronin surprised
the heads o industry who were meeting at Davos with
her proposal that the survival o the ttest is not about
paranoia but about pronoia: loving and supporting each
other. Ater more than twenty years o study the London
School o Economics proessor has come up with a radical
re-interpretation o Darwinism, based on his lesser-known
studies o how mammals can give up their time, ood,
mate and even lie or the sake o others.
Challenge
www.unlimitedloveinstitute.org is dedicated to the exploration and promotion o love or humanity,
bringing together both spiritual and scientic viewpointsresearch love your neighbour as yoursel,
the golden rule behind all religions look at The Art o Happiness at Work Dr Howard Cutler
in dialogue with The Dalai Lama
15
I you cant eed a hundred people, then eed just one was Mother Teresas advice.
Can you do just one thing, in the next week, that demonstrates love?Choose someone who you dont easily relate to.
More
love
Its love that lubricates all the rest of the Guidelines.It leads effortlessly to tolerance, kindness, gentle speech, loyalty andforgiveness.
If you havent any charity in your heart, you have
the worst kind of heart trouble.
(Bob Hope, USA)
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ing is changing, anything is possible
In 2000, the employees o Epson in Portland,
Oregon, succeeded in reducing to zero their
waste to landll. They purchased a compactor to
compress their packaging, which is now passed on
as recycled input to another manuacturer. Excess
ink is sent away to be re-used as pigment or
paints. The nal 10% waste, which cant be re-used
or re-cycled in any way, goes to a acility where it is
burned to generate electricity. In the process they
saved USD 300,000.
16 responsibility
Challenge
www.zerowaste.org or the Zero Waste Alliance www.lowcarbonlie.net on carbon dieting
take Nelson Mandelas The Road to Freedom on holiday with you this summerand buyYouCan Save the Planet
(Buster Books 2007) or your kids
Charles Dunstone, CEO o Carphone Warehouse, recently said
Climate change isnt someone elses problem. We all have to play our part. Its time or us all to go on a carbon diet.Are you doing anything about this?
More
Being responsible starts with being honestwith ourselves as well as with others.
There is no passion to be found in playing small in settling for
a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.
(Nelson Mandela, South Africa)
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Love the turtle
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Universal Compassion and Wisdom for Peace is a
non-prot organisation whose aim is to create a more
peaceul world by helping people everywhere to be
kind and wise. It provides resources, training and
support or a network o over 1000 people worldwide
working in schools, amily camps, health and social
care, prisons and the workplace.
Universal Compassion and Wisdom or Peace is
grateul to Terrapinn. or their generous support and
collaboration.
Nearly everyone involved with Universal Compassion
and Wisdom or Peace is contributing their time and
skills as volunteers. We are grateul to Honorary
President Lama Zopa, the inspiration behind the
16 Guidelines for a Happy Life, and to the many
people around the world who have supported their
development. Special thanks go to: Venerable Connie
Miller, Federica Cardelli, Anna Cherry, Anna Colao,
Jane Morton and Dekyi-Lee Oldershaw.
Universal Compassion and Wisdom or Peace
April 2007
ino@essential-education org
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