Wisdom Through the Ages
• We are upset not by things, but the view we take of them.
Epictetus (Pre-Socratic Greek)
• There is nothing either good nor bad but thinking makes it so.
Shakespere (Hamlet)
• We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world. Buddha
Thoughts Shape Emotions & Moods
• The way we look at things, our perceptions, mental attitudes & beliefs shape how we feel moment to moment
• The stories we tell ourselves• The way we talk to ourselves• The way we interpret things• Sets up how we feel in the next moment
and beyond
Negative emotions usually come from distorted thoughts
• Sometimes our thoughts are irrational, inaccurate, or exaggerated
• Primitive, archaic forms of thinking left over from childhood developmental process
• Although our thoughts may appear convincing and seem valid, they may not be.
• We often believe our thoughts out of habit– Distortions often unconscious and repetitive
• Emotional turmoil and moodiness is not based on accurate perceptions of reality but distortions
You can change your mind
• You can change the way you think and look at things
• You can change your underlying beliefs and thought patterns
• These will change how you see your self, your life, others, the world
• This will change how you feel, emotions, moods, outlook, attitude and productivity
Mindful of Distressing Thoughts
It’s no use! I don’t have the strength to get through this.
Awareness and
Inquiry
Kind & Rational Response
Mindful of Distressing Thoughts
It’s no use! Idon’t have the strength to get through this.
Awareness and
Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking?
2. How does my body feel?
3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought?
4. Exaggerated, irrational?
Kind & Rational Response
Mindful of Distressing Thoughts
It’s no use! I don’t have the strength to get through this.
Awareness and
Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking?
2. How does my body feel?
3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought?
4. Exaggerated, irrational?
Kind & Rational ResponseWho says you always have to be strong. Sometimes to cry and fall apart is the best thing to do. Then it seems I find an inner strength or higher power.
Mindful of Distressing Thoughts
I’m the one that always takes care of others. I can’t bear needing their help. I’ll handle this myself.
Awareness and Inquiry
Kind &Rational Response
Mindful of Distressing Thoughts
I’m the one that always takes care of others. I can’t bear needing their help. I’ll handle this myself.
Awareness and Inquiry1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking?
2. How does my body feel?
3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought?
4. Exaggerated, irrational?
Kind &Rational Response
Mindful of Distressing Thoughts
I’m the one that always takes care of others. I can’t bear needing their help. I’ll handle this myself.
Awareness and Inquiry1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking?
2. How does my body feel?
3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought?
4. Exaggerated, irrational?
Kind &Rational ResponseIt is scary but maybe now it is my time to receive and be open to the love & compassion of friends and family. (Spiritual lesson, a circle of giving and receiving)
Mindful of Automatic Thoughts
They say you are supposed to stay positive but I feel awful, angry, helpless, filled with despair, I’m afraid I am making it worse
Awareness and Inquiry
Kind &Rational Response
Mindful of Automatic Thoughts
They say you are supposed to stay positive but I feel awful, angry, helpless, filled with despair, I’m afraid I am making it worse
Awareness and Inquiry1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking?
2. How does my body feel?
3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought?
4. Exaggerated, irrational?
Kind &Rational Response
Mindful of Automatic Thoughts
They say you are supposed to stay positive but I feel awful, angry, helpless, filled with despair, I’m afraid I am making it worse
Awareness and Inquiry1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking?
2. How does my body feel?
3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought?
4. Exaggerated, irrational?
Kind &Rational ResponseIt’s natural to have strong and negative feelings. I am learning to comfort myself and ask for reassurance from others. I can work with my state of mind and that helps.
Family MemberMindful of Distressing Thoughts
I have to be the strong one. Can’t let him/ her know how I really feel.
If I fall apart, that will make it worse for him/ her.
Awareness and Inquiry
Kind & Rational Response
Family MemberMindful of Distressing Thoughts
I have to be the strong one. Can’t let him/ her know how I really feel.
If I fall apart, that will make it worse for him/ her.
Awareness and Inquiry1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking?
2. How does my body feel?
3. Is this a helpful / harmful thought?
4. Exaggerated, irrational?
Kind & Rational Response
Family MemberMindful of Distressing Thoughts
I have to be the strong one. Can’t let him/ her know how I really feel.
If I fall apart, that will make it worse for him/ her.
Awareness and Inquiry1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking?
2. How does my body feel?
3. Is this a helpful / harmful thought?
4. Exaggerated, irrational?
Kind & Rational ResponseIt’s best to be honest with each other about feelings. Creates more intimacy, and is truly supportive. If I fall apart how do I know it will make her/him feel worse. Maybe consoling me will make her/him feel better.
Family MemberMindful of Distressing Thoughts
I hate this cancer, its ruining our lives and all the things we do together.
Awareness and Inquiry
Kind & Rational Response
Family MemberMindful of Distressing Thoughts
I hate this cancer, its ruining our lives and all the things we do together.
Awareness and Inquiry1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking?
2. How does my body feel?
3. Is this a helpful / harmful thought?
4. Exaggerated, irrational?
Kind & Rational Response
Family MemberMindful of Distressing Thoughts
I hate this cancer, its ruining our lives and all the things we do together.
Awareness and Inquiry1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking?
2. How does my body feel?
3. Is this a helpful / harmful thought?
4. Exaggerated, irrational?
Kind & Rational Response
Anger, rage, hate only make me feel worse and adds to stress for whole family.With accept- ance I can enjoy time we do have. We may not be as active, but time together is very precious.
Mindful of Distressing Thoughts
Awareness and
Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking?
2. How does my body feel?
3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought?
4. Exaggerated, irrational?
Kind & Rational Response
CaregiverMindful of Automatic Thoughts
I should be doing more.
I should have done this instead of that. I feel so guilty.
Awareness
1. What emotions follows from this way of thinking?
2. Is this a helpful or harmful thought?
3. Exaggerated, irrational?
Kind & Rational Response
I do a lot and need to acknowledge it, rather than “should” myself.
I am only human and need to love myself for what I am able to do.
Mindful of Automatic ThoughtsI am so afraid of making the wrong decision.
Options are bad or worse.
Yet I also hate giving up control to the med system
Awareness
1. What emotions follows from this way of thinking?
2. Is this a helpful or harmful thought?
3. Exaggerated, irrational?
Kind &Rational ResponseIt is hard to choose treatments but my doc has explained things and meeting with other survivors has given me hope and understanding. I can also pray for guidance.
Mindful of Automatic Thoughts
My health is the most important thing. Without that I am miserable.
This whole experience is overwhelming
I can’t take it.
Awareness
1. What emotions follows from this way of thinking?
2. Is this a helpful or harmful thought?
3. Exaggerated, irrational?
Kind &Rational ResponseI am taking it and learning a lot about myself. If I take it one day at a time I feel OK.
When I change my perspective I feel so much better.
Mindful of Automatic Thoughts
I did everything right.
Diet, exercise,
low stress.
Why did I get cancer?
Awareness1. What emotion follows from this way of thinking?
2. Is this a helpful or harmful thought?
3. Is it exagerated or irrational?
Kind & Rational Response
Sometimes things are beyond our control. Multiple factors cause cancer. Important thing now…do everything to look after myself, make the most of each moment of this precious life.
Mindful of Automatic ThoughtsHow will my children and spouse cope without me. It will ruin their lives. I feel guilty for abandoning them now, let alone if I die.
Awareness
1. What emotions follows from this way of thinking?
2. Is this a helpful or harmful thought?
3. Exaggerated, irrational?
Kind &Rational ResponseMy guilt is not helping anyone. I have done my best to ensure that the children have a good upbringing. That foundation will serve them well. The time I have is precious, death is part of the journey for us all.
Mindful of Automatic ThoughtsSometimes I am so angry with my spouse for hiding in denial while I cope with this alone. It seems there is nothing I can do but steam.
Awareness
1. What emotions follows from this way of thinking?
2. Is this a helpful or harmful thought?
3. Exaggerated, irrational?
Kind &Rational ResponseI can’t control the reaction of my spouse. I can work with my own thoughts and feelings and learn to ask for what I want directly. If I do, that changes the relationship and that will benefit us both.
Mindful, Aware, Kind & Rational
3 Steps1. Mindful of automatic thoughts. Notice them,
don’t hide them. Write them down.2. Aware! Ask self, what emotion follows this
thought? Is this a helpful or harmful thought? Is it Exaggerated, Irrational?
3. Replace with a kind and rational response. Here you can also reach for spiritual wisdom.
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