8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
1/38
Advanced Students Guide
HOW TO TRICK YOUR TEACHER
or
How to Become te
TO! STU"E#T
Witout Stud$in%
B$
&u'ti('e )'un*
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
2/38
Tis +oo* I dedicate to
THE )RESH&A#
)or e *nows not wat es doin%
Autor
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
3/38
Wat is a co''e%e,
A co''e%e is an institution o- Hi%H education
Co''e%e is e'd in i% esteem.
. +$ tose wo never enro''ed..and te dead'iest curse -or te teacer.
.is wat is students.
.tin* o- teir co''e%e.
A-ter a wi'e.
.Te$ a'' -ee' te same.
.-or it is not (ossi+'e.
.to ide wat te co''e%e unearts/
A co''e%e is a ome..were one can.
.Ac0uire a 'ot/
A 'ot.
.in a 'ot o- time.
.intensive'$.
.and a+ove a''.
.unnecessari'$/
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
4/38
W$ to Enro'' at A !ARTICU1AR Co''e%e
One enro''s at a co''e%e -or a num+er o- sound reasons and at 'east a sin%'e stu(id one
Sound reasons2You dont need to wor* ard/
Or at 'east not re%u'ar'$/
You remain c'ose to ome/You dont trow awa$ te +oo*s.
. $ou %ot -rom $our e'der +roter/
Because a'' te i% scoo' +uddies did it as we''/
Crossin% te street was suc a +ore/Te$ ave a %ood ca-eteria/
A %ood wa$ to -ind a us+and 3at te Tecnica' Co''e%e4.
. or a wi-e 3&edica' Scoo'4.
Your mama enro''ed $ou/Your documents wi'' +e sa-e tere/
You can (ost(one %oin% to te arm$.. ti'' te wars (ass/
To %ain te time/
You %et a nice students +oo*'et/Your -o'*s can %o +ra%%in% around.
. a+out avin% a student at ome/
3unti' te -irst e5ams6 o- course4/
You ad two (otos remainin% -rom ma*in% te (ass(ort.. and te$re not %ood enou% to +e %iven to $our %ir'-riend/
!ossi+'e stu(id reasons2You 'ove it/
To 'earn sometin%/
To wise'$ use.. $our -ree time/
To +e use-u'.
. to te communit$/
To %et inte''ectua''$ en%a%ed/To +e te +est student o- te %eneration/
To %et ric/
To +ecame an e5(ert/Yet.
. te u'timate stu(id reason.
. is not avin% a sin%'e one.
. smart reason/
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
5/38
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
6/38
I- $ou dont +e'ieve te word o- te street
3And i- $ou do $ou want to cec* it out4
Wen $ou -ina''$ %et it..$ou'' curse 7ust as +ad.
./ Te 'ac* o- conviction and too muc curiosit$/
Geo%ra($
Is a coice
O- tose wo cannot..trave' around te wor'd.
. at teir own e5(ense/
Wen te$ (a$ -or a'' te e5(enses.
./o- -ree education.
. te$ wi'' understand.
. tat it wou'dve +een cea(er.
. i- te$ went to Hawai.
A%ricu'ture
Is %ood -or2Cu'tivation/
)ami'$ roots in te rura' environment/
Te +ro%ues.. inerited -rom $our %rand-ater/
)or te "utc -armers do it.
. and $our nei%+ors son didnt/
I- $ou 'i*e to sit in te A''e$ o- te Greats/I- $oure orticu'tura'/
E'ectrica' En%ineerin%Is interestin%2
I- $ou %ot e'ectri-ied.
. so teres a sort circuit in $our ead/Because it is eas$ to -ind a 7o+ in Canada.
. #ew 8ea'and6 Austra'ia6 USA.
. 'uc*i'$6 not ere/
9Cos ever since Tes'a 'e-t.. tin%s avent can%ed ere/
As $ou ave no idea were to turn tese +astards o--/
Because $ou want to -i5 te iron.. and not trow it awa$/
1aw
Is cosen2
)or a'' te -orrrrma'''''' '''''''e%a''''' reasons/
Because $ou want to ave.
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
7/38
. enou% time.
. -or oter tin%s in 'i-e/
Because $oure -ed u( wit onest$/9Cos 7ustice is s'ow.
. so $ou ave time to.
. snatc 'oads o- mone$ -rom tose wo wait -or it/9Cos te$ want o(inions and not *now'ed%e/
To -inis Ka-*as !rocess/
1iterature
Is -or2
1iterar$ Critics/
Accountants/Boo* Binders/
Boo* Se''ers/
Boo* 'overs/
Bi+'iomaniacs/Boo* eaters/
Boo* worms/#ever -or writers/
)or a'' tose wo wi'' ma*e a 'ivin% on +oo*s.
. and not tose wo 'ive -or te +oo*/
Econom$
is -or $ou i-
$ou want to +e an e5(ert ust'er/Tat is6 i- $ou want to stea'.
. witout +ein% cau%t/
You want to use $ou *now'ed%e o- mat .. in a (ractica' manner/
Youre wi''in% to 'earn.
. a+out a'' mista*es weve made so -ar.
. so tat $ou can do te same in -uture.
. witout ma*in% te mista*es/
!s$co'o%$Is -or tose
Wo o(e.
. to e5('ain it to temse'ves in -uture/On'$ tere.
. does te teacer a'wa$s.
. understand te students.
. and te students understand teir teacers.
. on'$ a-ter te$ %raduate/
31uc*i'$6 no one can read te tou%ts 4
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
8/38
Art
Is attractive2
Because $ou +ecome te mem+er o- te Academ$ ri%t awa$/)or no one understands it/
I- $ou ate savin%/
I- $oure ta'ented -or an$tin%.. e5ce(t -or te tin%s $ou stud$/
I- $ou en7o$ castin%/
)or it is a sma'' ste(.. o- su+7ective wises.
. and a %iant 'ea(.
. o- o+7ective ca(a+i'ities/
)or $ou can see.. tat tose witout ta'ent %raduate.
. wic %ives $ou %ood cances as we''/
&atsIs -or te2
Smart/Educated/
Inte''i%ent/
Witt$/Ta'ented/
And a'' te oters.
. wo wi'' on'$ a-ter te studies.
. +e ac0uitted.
. due to te lack of evidence/
Cemistr$Is -or tose2
Wo 'i*e to sa*e it u(/
Searcin% -or te -ormu'a o- success.. te (i'oso(ers stone.
. or at 'east te (otion o- 'i-e/
Te$ wi'' +e a(($.
. to -ind a 7o+ in te end/
Tecnica' En%ineerin%
Is -or $ou i-2You dont want to %et rust$/
Since -or te wrenc.
. one needs not an$ *now'ed%e o- te )renc/Because $ou ave no idea wat to do wit $ourse'-.
. +ut *now wat to do wit te macines/
Because oters to'd $ou.
. it wou'd +e di--erent/
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
9/38
Because an$ misunderstandin%.
. can easi'$ +e sett'ed.
. wit te e'( o- too's/Because its a mans tin%/
!i'oso($Is (o(u'ar2
)or tere are +oo*s.
. +ut no te5t+oo*s/Te$re a'wa$s te -irst ones to %o on stri*e/
Teir a''wa$s are wide.
. and teir c'assrooms sma''/
)or tere are man$.. consu'tations in te ca-eteria/
Cause $oud 'i*e.
. to -ina''$ read te c'assics/
)or tere are man$ courses.. 'eadin% nowere/
!armac$
Is2
A -acu't$ wic is not2. cemistr$.
. matematics.
. tecno'o%$.
. trade.
. er+a'ism.
. medicine.
. and ver$ o-ten.
. not even (armac$/
One %oes to (armac$.
. out o- curiosit$.
. and %raduates.
. wit a ('easant -ee'in%.
. tat an$tin% as a (rice.
. e5ce(t -or te cure/
:eterinar$
Is te coice o-2Se(erds/
#omads/
Cow+o$s/And oter mem+ers.
. o- Associations -or te (rotection -rom umans/
Te$re te on'$ ones.
. wo *now ow to.
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
10/38
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
11/38
Wo 'i*e to +ui'd temse'ves monuments.
. wi'e te$re sti'' a'ive/
&ost o- tem wi'' draw teir wo'e 'i-e.. and on'$ tose -ew wit.
. *nac*.
. *now'ed%e.. ta'ent.
. and a+ove a''.
. connections.
. %et to +ui'd/
3O- course6 i- te structure.
"oesnt co''a(se on tem4
!$sics
Is te coice2
O- tose wo 'i*e to %et ($sica'/
Tose wo are -ami'iar wit Tes'a.. and do not *now tat its.
. istor$ tats re(eatin%.
. not ($sics/
!i'oso($Is 'i*e2
Te on'$ ('ace were a student.
. doesnt answer 0uestions.
. +ut (i'oso(i
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
12/38
Bio'o%$
Is a -acu't$2
Teacin% students.. tat te$ ori%inated -rom mon*e$s.
. wic te 'oca' >? (ositive.
. or even a -ew (ercenta%es more/
&ore 7ust tan te Roman Code.
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
13/38
. not to mention .
. te &a%na Carta.
!ro-----s2
#ever read an$ +oo*s 9cos te$ *ee( it a'' in teir ead/
Tin* wen no+od$ wou'd do it/#ever %'ance at te watces.
. -or te$ ave a (recise +ior$tm/
Wear no weddin% rin%s 9cos te$re too ti%t/#ever watc te weater -orecast.
. +ecause te$ *now were te winds +'ow -rom.
. and do watc te "ai'$ #ews.
. so tat te$ wou'dnt ear -rom te oters.
. weter te$ sti'' ave teir 7o+/
!ro-essor2
Has no a'ternative/#ever dies @ not in te.
. worst western movies/Bu''ets cant %et im/
Is eterna' @ unti' e dies/
Has no ($sio'o%ica' needs.. not even te +asic ones.
. -or te$ -or%et a+out tem/
Oters do it -or im.
. o-ten not as success-u''$/He cannot +e +ri+ed/
He doesnt %o nuts/
#ever 'ies/And w$ on eart wou'd e stea',
!ro-essor2Is God or at 'east St/ !au'/
And i- es andsome.
3a(('ies on'$ to -ema'e students4
. ten even -'un*in%.
. can +rin% te ('easure.
. o- anoter meetin%/
!ro+'ems2
Te %reatest (ro+'ems o- te teacer are.
. tose man$ tit'es.
. under te %ra$in% air.
. and +a'din% ead/
"r 3er*4 and &r/ 3H$de4
. o-ten a +ed !rim3Crimina'4
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
14/38
Grada+'e6 In%enious.
. on'$ -or teir -riends/
Te oters wou'd o(t -or.. Sci
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
15/38
!ro-essor B maintains a dia'o%ue wit students
Our (ro-essor as a dia'o%ue.
. wit imse'-/
Tat is te on'$ co''ocutor2e res(ects6
e trusts6
wo *nows im we''/Te one e tin*s i%'$ o-.
. and wo never con-ronts im/
An i- te dia'o%ue.
. resu'ts in misunderstandin%.
. HE wi'' certain'$ +e ri%t/
!ro-essor C is never 'ate -or c'ass
Our (ro-essor is 'ate.
. wic is worse.
. +ut sti'' +etter tan not sowin% u( at a''/
Bein% 'ate.
. is a demonstration o- -orce.
. and te (roo- o- .
. te wea*ness o- is (resentation/
!ro-essor " is interested to ear wat students tin* a+out is 'ecture
Our teacer.
. is not interested.
. as o(inions.
. are a su+7ective cate%or$/
HE is smart enou%.. and e *nows wat te students.
. wou'd sa$ o- im/
So6 w$ waste.
. time.
. (a(er.
. and nerves/
A (ure'$ economica' matter/It doesnt (a$ o--.
. to read so man$ com('aints.
. to ear so -ew com('iments/
!ro-essor E as e5ce(tiona' teoretica' *now'ed%e
Our (ro-essor 'i*e to +e in (o'itics.
. +ecause tat means.
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
16/38
. tat e doesnt ave to +e in teor$/
Teor$ e wou'd 'eave to teoreticians.. so as not to mi5 te two.
. and not to %et con-used.
. wit wat was doin% so -ar/
!ro-essor ) is a'wa$s ver$ e'e%ant
Our (ro-essor.. -ee's e imse'-.
. is a ma5imum onor.
. -or te auditorium/
An$tin% more tan tat.. wou'd +e com(etition.
. a%ainst &oter Teresa.
. and in is -ie'd.
. teres no #o+e' !ri
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
17/38
!ro-essor H res(ects is co''ocutor
Our (ro-essor wou'd +e %'ad to.. +ut wats te (oint.
. wen e.
. cannot utter a word/
He is rea'istic a+out te -act.
. tat te man de-ends +$ si'ence.
. wic means consent.
. and (ro-essors %ood manners.
. disa''ow im.
. -rom sto((in% is si'ence/
Our (ro-essor is a -i%ure o- s(eec6 as a'' tat is said.
. doesnt a(('$ to a'' our (ro-essors/ Tere are some o- ours on teir side as we''/
Assistant !ro-essor
Assistant (ro-essor sti'' as no 'evera%e6 even tou% e 'eaves students in ra%e/Assistant !ro-essor is an assistant wo survived.
. and a -uture (ro-essor @ i- e 'ives to +e one/
Assistant !ro-essor is a'- wa$ tere/Undecided/
#ot too $oun%.
. to do wat e cou'd.
. and not o'd enou%.
. to +e wat e cannot +e/
Watever te (ro-essors do to im.
. e ta*es out on te students.
. wit interest/
AssistantAssistant is a s(ecia' case and at times an accident/
Assistant is an e5 student.
. wo 'earned a'' -rom te +oo*s.
. and notin% -rom e5(erience/
He remains at te -acu't$.
. tin*in% it rewardin%.3wic is dou+t-u'4
. and not
3wic is con-irmed.. +$ (revious (ractice4/
Te 'en%t o- te (unisment.
. is we'' measured.
. accordin% to is (ros(ects/
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
18/38
Head o- te Students Service
He sure *nows wat es doin%
Head o- te Students Service.
. re%u'ates te studentD(ro-essor re'ationsi(/He is indis(ensa+'e.
. -or te (eace and sta+i'it$.
. at te -acu't$/I- e %ets cau%t in +etween.
. es done wit.
. i- e %ets on to( o- it.
. te$re done wit/
Hand'in% te door*ee(er
Te door*ee(er is te *e$ (erson at te -acu't$
Hes te -irst one.. $ou'' meet tere.
. and te 'ast one.// wose (ermit.
. %ives $ou te student status/
So6 +e care-u'.
. i- $ou %et in a -i%t wit a (ro-essor.
. $ou'' +e 0uestioned +$ anoter one/
I- $ou %et in a -i%t wit te door*ee(er.. e as*s no 0uestions.
. e starts +eatin% $ou instant'$/
)resman
)resman is a student wit academic ormona' status/
He *nows notin%.
. and es read$ -or ever$tin%/
Ever$one is sad.. wen te -resman %rows u(.
. e5ce(t -or temse'ves.
. wo are read$.
. to %ive te e5(erience.
. +ac* wit a ven%eance/
Student Re(resentative
Student Re(resentative re(resents
Te students witout tem *nowin% it/
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
19/38
HE used to +e res(ected +$ te students.
. +e-ore te e'ections.
. wen e wor*ed -or tem.
. and +ecomes ated 'ater.
. wen e starts wor*in%.
. so'e'$ -or imse'-/
Te eterna' student
Te eterna' student is (art o- te -acu't$ -urniture wic doesnt wear o--/
Te status o- te eterna' student actua''$ is.
. a !H" wit cumu'ative e--ect/Com(ared to a !H" it ta*es.
. more time.
. more onest$.
. more uman 0ua'ities.. wit identica' scienti-ic contri+ution/
It can +e ac0uired +$ $ears o- stud$.. wit an$ (ro%ress.
. +ein% ard.
. noted.
. and a+ove a''.
Accidenta'/
He 'in*s %enerations.
. es indis(ensa+'e.
. in writin%.
. te istor$ o- te -acu't$/
To +ecome an eterna' student.. it ta*es necessar$ recommendations.
. -rom tose.
. not in te (ro-essors -an c'u+/
Gee*
Gee* is a -irst c'ass student/
Gee*s are not 'oved2B$ students/
!ro-essors/
Oter %ee*s/A'' -or te same reason/
Te %ee* *nows more.
. and wat is worse.
. e *ee(s (ointin% it out/
Gree*s as -orei%n students
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
20/38
Gree*s are +roters wic te o+'i%ator$ visa (roves/
A'' -orei%n students6 and es(ecia''$ Gree*s.. are o+'i%ed to (ass.
. a se'ection (rocess +e-ore enro''ment/
Te se'ection is2
. tou%.
. strict.
. rut'ess.
. re'ent'ess.
. and un0uestionin%'$.
. ne%ative/
Te smart Gree*s attend.
. Gree* universities/
Te ric ones %o to O5-ord or Harvard.. or e'sewere/
Wat we %et are.. te 'e-tovers.
. (resent com(an$ e5c'uded.
. te stu(id and te (oor/Yet6 te$re smart enou%.
. and wea't$ enou%.
. to +u$ our.
. 'ectures.
. (ractice c'asses.
. our di('omas and 3trut +e to'd4.
. our (ro-essors/
A%ain6 e5c'udin% te ma7orit$ (ro-essors.
. wo wou'd never.
. ever do it/
Because it is.
. untin*a+'e.
. disonest.
. umi'iatin%.
. same-u'.
. and a+ove a''.
. cea(/
I- some o- te (ro-essors sou'd do it.. its on'$ out o-2
. %ood wi''.
. umanit$.
. so-tness o- te eart.
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
21/38
. soutern menta'it$.
. unit$ and +roterood.
. os(ita+i'it$.
. Ortodo5$.
. consideration.
. and most'$.. +ecause o- te un(aid +i''s/
Te entrance e5am
Entrance e5ams are -irst e5(eriences in ust'in%/
Some ca'' it a 0ua'i-ication.. some e'imination.
And te$ a'' *now its neiter o- te two.
. +ut rater te tird/
Entrance e5ams can +e ard.. i- $ou didnt stud$.
. or even more.
. i- $ou dont *now te dean.
. or at 'east some o- te (eo('e.
. (re(arin% te e5am/To ave an$ cance.
. $ou must +u$ te +oo* wit 0uestions.
. and te answers.
. and +u$in% it is more im(ortant tan readin%/Tere mi%t +e some aid -rom a committee mem+er.
. sittin% at te e5am/
However6 tese are not to +e as*ed -or so'utions.. As te$ ad -or%otten te answers 'on% +eo-ore.
. i- te$ ever *new tem/
Te$ wou'd screw $ou out o- ne%'i%ence/And i- $ou want to ear is answers.
./ Be sure not to.
. circ'e tem on te e5am/
It is +etter to ave tat (erson.. correct $our test 'ater on/
)or im to *now $our (a(er.
. never 'eave com('ete'$ em(t$ (a(ers.
. or a'' te wron% answers.
. -or tat is te.
. most -re0uent com+ination/You must +e more ori%ina'.
. and do some o- te tas*s/
Goin% to 1ectures
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
22/38
Students attend 'ectures re%u'ar'$/
E5ce(t2Wen te$re un%r$/
Wen te$re -u'' o- *now'ed%e/
Wen %oin% to +e vaccinated/Wen donatin% +'ood/
Wen te$re +us$/
Wen teres a -oot+a'' der+$ %ame/Wen te cit$ trans(ortation is on stri*e/
Wen te$ *now wat is to +e tau%t at te 'ecture/
Wen te$ ave a 7usti-ication/
Wen te 'ectures are.. too ear'$ or too 'ate/
And in students 'i-e c$c'e.
. too ear'$ is @ mornin%.
. and too 'ate @ a-ternoon/
Students attend 'ectures2To en7o$ te +rea*s/
To -inis o--.
. a %ame o- ,,,,,cec*ersTo cec* out.
. i- te assistant.
. wou'd sit 'i*e se did.
. te wee* +e-ore/
Student wi'' +e tere2
Wen e %ets con-used/Wen e as a drin*/
Wen e as notin% e'se to do/
Wen te (ro-essor is si%nin% te attendance records/Wen is %ir'-riend ma*es im.
. to cec* ow muc e 'oves er.
. wic is a cor(us de'icti.
. o- se5ua' a+use.
. 3o- course6 i- te (ro-essor.
. acce(ts te ro'e o- te witness4/
1ectures
1ectures are not o+'i%ator$.. so act accordin%'$/
Te 'ecture $ou do attend.
. wi'' +e e5ce(tiona''$ +orin%/
Te +est 'ectures.
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
23/38
. are te ones $ou s'e(t over/
Even worse6 ten.
. a'' te +est cic*s.
. were in c'ass.
. te (ro-essor was motivated.
. e ta'*ed a+out te tin%s.. wic are not in te te5t+oo*.
. and e was si%nin% te attendance records/
Remem+er2
Wen it rains.
. it (ours/
Ta*in% notes
#otes are ancient E%$(tian iero%'$(s made in students wa$
I- $ou ta*e notes in c'ass.
. $ou wi'' as* $ourse'- 'ater on.. weter $ou attended te 'ecture.
. in te -irst ('ace/"ecodin% wat $ou wrote.
. wi'' ta*e more time.
. ten 'earnin% it -rom te +oo*/I- $ou dont ta*e notes.
. $ou dont %et to 'earn a 'ot.
. as $ou s(end most time.
. 'oo*in% around.
. wo is in c'ass/
Kee(in% notes or not.
. te decision is u( to $ou.
. even tou% $ou'' 'earn 'ater.
. tat $ou sou'dve done.
. (recise'$ te o((osite/
!ractice c'asses
!ractices are te on'$ (ractica' (art o- te im(ractica' studies/
!ractices are o+'i%ator$.. wic %ives $ou an e5tra motive.
. to s*i( tem re%u'ar'$/
!ractices are (re(ared in advance.. unti' $ou understand it.
. and wen $ou (rove tat $ou ave no idea.
. $ou retrace $our ste(s +ac*ward/One 'earns te most.
. wen te e5(eriment -ai's/
)irst6 tat te teor$ is one tin%.
. (ractice sometin% e'se.
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
24/38
. and tat someone ere.
. is %ettin% teir (a$cec* -or notin%/
Te5t+oo*s
Te5t+oo*s are +oo*s students sou'd use in order to (re(are -or e5ams
Un'ess2!ro-essors are tr$in% to2
Invest teir ric e5(erience
Give teir own (ersona' contri+utionBe creative
&a*e te to(ic more condensed
"isa+'e (otoco($in%
&a*e an e5tra e--ort.. to e'( students.
. and ma*e some mone$ on te wa$/
In tat case.
. te te5t+oo* can teac.. a'' a+out te (ro-essor.
. and notin% on te su+7ect matter/
Bu$in% te Te5t+oo*
#ever +u$2A te5t+oo* witout cec*in%.
. wats inside/
Te covers.
. are a'wa$s te +est (art.
. o- an$ +oo*.
)or te$re not made +$ te autor.
. +ut +$ te desi%ner/Wat $ou need.
. is not in tat +oo*.
. +ut in te oter one wic is so'd out/Te vo'ume and te (rice.
. are usua''$ a measure o-.
. 'ac* o- modest$.
. me%a'omania.
. economica''$ -ounded te-t.
. and not o-.
. te 0ua'it$ o- te +oo*/
Used Boo*sUsed +oo*s are so'd +$ o'der co''ea%ues
Tose are wo'e +oo*s -or a'- te (rice.
. o-ten even te o((osite/
Te 'aw o- te o--er and demand.
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
25/38
. %overns tis transaction.
. in its most rut'ess -orm/
Bu$in% a used +oo*.. means savin% mone$.
. and %oin% trou% te ordea'.
. o- tr$in% to memori
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
26/38
. -rom te +'ac* mar*et sa'e.
. o- te (a(ers/
Stud$in% -rom 'ecture notes means2
Stud$in% a 'ot.
. o- untrue nonsense/Ta*in% more time.
. to (re(are -or te e5am/
"ama%in% te e$esi%t.. readin% a +ad co($/
1earnin% tat teres.
. sometin% worse tan.
. memori
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
27/38
. to measure te immeasura+'e/
Te outcome is a'wa$s te same.
. -or (ro-essors.
. as no one ever cec*s.
. i- te$ *now wat.
. students dont/
Wic e5am to ta*e
Ever$one e'se wi'' (ass tose e5ams $ou dont ta*e/Te ones $ou ('anned 'ast.
. wi'' +e te -irst on te scedu'e/
A(('$ -or a'' te e5ams.
. and ma*e $our (arents a(($.
. and $our co''ea%ues worried/
On'$ ta*e te e5ams.
. $ou didnt (re(are -or/
Ten $ou ave notin% to 'ose/
!ro-essors si%natureCo''ectin% (ro-essors.
. si%nature//
. as*s -or te.
. s*i''.
. inte''ect.
. and even im(udence/
A si%nature can +e ac0uired.. at di--erent ('aces.
. in di--erent circumstances.
. 'est o-ten in te c'assroom.
. and 'east o-ten -or.
. re%u'ar attendance in c'ass/
Tere-ore6 a'wa$s ave $our.. students +oo*'et in (oc*et.
. and +e read$ to draw -irst/
Attendance con-irmationAt te end o- eac semester.
. te attendance in c'ass wi'' +e con-irmed.
. witout an$one *nowin%.
. te use o- it/
!era(s to count.
. te num+er o- su+7ects.
. to record te (assa%e o- time.
. or to *ee( te students a--aires o--ice.
. +us$/
Students A--aires O--ice
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
28/38
Students A--aires O--ice is tere.
. to e'( students.
. +ut someone as to te'' tem tat/
It o(ens wen.
. $oure in te ca-eteria.. and c'oses.
. wen its $our turn to enter/
.Students usua''$.
. demand wat te O--ice.
. cannot %rant tem.
. and %et -rom it.
. wat te$ dont need/
"rawin% e5am 0uestions
"ont ta*e te 0uestion on to( o- te (i'e.. -or tose mi%t +e te re('aced.
. 0uestions o- a (revious student/"ont ta*e tem -rom te midd'e.
. -or its im(ossi+'e to -ind te midd'e/
It wi'' a'wa$s +e.. c'oser to te to(.
. or c'oser to te +ottom.
. and $oud end u( wit.
. te 0uestion $ou didnt want/I- $ou ta*e it -rom te +ottom.
. $ou'' %et te worst ones.
. as tose dont %et su--'ed/I- $ou tr$ to re('ace te 0uestion $ou too*.
. wos to %uarantee tat te new one wi'' +e easier/
I- te (ro-essor cooses -or $ou.. $ou'' +e on tin ice.
. academica''$ s(ea*in%/
I- te$ 'et $ou cose te 0uestion.
. te$'' a'' wonder.
. i- tats te wa$ $ou ta'* a+out wat $ou *now.
. wou'd $ou need a 'o%o(edic.
. to state $our name and address.
. or ma$+e a trans'ator.
. to trans'ate wat $ou said/
So6 ta*e an$ 0uestion.
. -or te easiest ones.
. wou'd +e ta*en +e-ore.
B$ students wo ad.
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
29/38
. a'read$ -inised te e5am/
Co($in%Co($in% +i+'ica' te5ts +rou%t a+out modern universities/
#ever co($ te answers o- te +est student.. tose are motivated.
. to %ive $ou wron% answer/
Teir aim is to +e te +est.. wic is (ossi+'e.
. on'$ i- e is %ood666
. or i- te rest are +ad/
"ont co($ -rom te +ad students.. te$ wi'' screw $ou over.
. so tat te$ ave someone to *ee( tem com(an$/
"ont co($ -rom te mediocre students.
. -or teir wron% answers.. wi'' seem $ou ri%t/
On'$ co($ -rom $our -irst dra-t.. and $ou'' ave %ood re'ations wit tem a''/
Cec*in% u( te answersTe 0uestions $ou tou%t.
. $ou did correct'$.
. wi'' on'$ +e so (artia''$/
Tose $ou tou%t were (artia''$ correct.. wi'' +e com('ete'$ wron%/
Te -act is tat $ou can no 'on%er.
. increase te num+er o- correct ones.
. or decrease te num+er o- wron% ones/
So6 te +est o(tion is.
. to save $ourse'- -rom worr$in%.
. and save te mone$ -or tran0ui'i
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
30/38
Once te wist'e +'ows.
. te re- wont can%e is mind/
How a -ema'e student (re(ares -or te e5am
Same as ma'e students @ 'earns te su+7ect/
I- se as er ands -u''.
. te o(tion o- usin% 'e%s.
. is sti'' o(en/&a*eu( is necessar$.
. i- teres te need to ma*e u( -or sometin%.
. +ut c'otes.
. can +e 'e-t at ome/)'asin% e$e'ases.
. Seductive (ositions.
. Bendin% over.
. ta'*in% sensua''$.. tat a'' can contri+ute to.
. a +etter resu't.
. or at 'east to overcomin%.
. te -irst urd'e/
E5ce(t in one case2
I- on te oter side.
. te student con-ronts HER/
Se wou'd not understand a'' tat.. -or it is too 'ate.
To remem+er ow tin%s used to +e.
. and its too ear'$.
. to -or%et.
. te e5(ectations se ad/
Te (romises o- $esterda$.. wou'd overcome te -acts o- toda$/
A-ter te e5am te$'' +ot -ee' e0ua''$ sorr$/
Eac -or er own reasons/
How to -'un* an e5am
:er$ easi'$/
Act dea-mute.. or at 'east mute/
"e-end $our views/
As* -or te (ro-essor to +e e5em(ted/
You ave to *now as 'itt'e as (ossi+'e.
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
31/38
. so as not to +e tem(ted/
Its not a +ad idea.
. to ave some idea o- wic e5am is tat da$/Know wat $ou dont *now/
"ont -a'' -or.
. te (rovocations.. suc as additiona' 0uestions/
Be coo'/
#ever surrender/Re-use to s(ea*.
. witout te (resence o- $our attorne$/
An$tin% $ou sa$.
. can +e used a%ainst $ou.
. and cause +ursts o- 'au%ter.
. in te auditorium.
. wic wou'd 'eave $ou.
. out o- te com(etition.. -or a c'ean -'un*in% te e5am.
. and 0ua'i-$ $ou.
. -or te 7o*e o- te $ear/
GradesA %rade is a measure o- *now'ed%e/
E5ce(t2
Wen te (ro-essor decides.. to +e o+7ective/
Ten it +ecomes a mere -i%ure.
. wic te statistics wi'' 'ater.
. trans-orm into.
Wat no %rade is/
O+7ective measure o-.. su+7ective measurin%/
A student wi'' a'wa$s tin*.
. tat e demonstrated a 'ot.
. and te (ro-essor tat more was needed/A (ro-essor wi'' a'wa$s tin*.
. tat e %ave a 'ot.
. and te student tat more was needed/Actua''$6 te$ +ot c'aim te same.
. its on'$ te word order tats te (ro+'em ere.
. and te -acu't$ records.
. were tis 'in%uistic issue.
. %ot its -ina'.
. numerica' outcome/
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
32/38
!rover+ia' %rades2
) @ #o (ain no %ain/
" @ Ever$ (at as its (udd'e/E @ Ta*e one ste( at a time/
C @ Ever$ do% as is da$/
B @ &ind is over matter 3wen co($in%4/A @ To Err is uman/
:er+a'"i%ita' trans'ation o- te %rades2
O+stetrician2
) @ "ead+orn" @ )ina''$ a +o$;
E @ Unwanted/
C @ Une5(ected
B @ !er-ection/A @ Caesarean section/
:er+a'2
) @ Sit" @ Know'ed%e
E @ Co($in%
C @ Overdoin% it
B @ Bri+eA @ "ou+'esit 3F F4
Avera%e %radeTe avera%e %rade 5Dn/
Te avera%e %rade was invented.
. +$ te statistics de(artment.
. to ma*e stud$in%.
. ever more dis%ustin%.
. and create 7o+s -or teir (eo('e/
ust one 'ous$ %rade.. irreversi+'$ satters te i''usion.
. o- $ou +ein% (er-ect.
. and +rin%s $ou +ac* to rea'it$.
. o- +ein% 7ust %ood/
Its a corn$ stor$.
. o- an A as un unattaina+'e.
. and $et attained avera%e %rade/
And it is un7ust.
. tat te avera%e %rade at E.
. remains a ta+oo to(ic.
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
33/38
. even tou% no one actua''$ as it/
Strivin% to increase te avera%e %rade2
&eans renouncin% $our -ree time/
Acce(tin% di--erent -orms o- umi'iation.. +e%%in% someone wo is worse tan $ou.
. -or sometin% $ou didnt deserve/
1osin% te 7o$ o-.. %ettin% an A.
. -or te terri+'e -ear o-.
. %ettin% a B/
Wi''in%'$ con-ront.. one YES wit a tousand #Os/
Handica((in% $ourse'-/
And wat is worse.
. e5(eriencin% te disa((ointment.. u(on -inisin% te studies.
. -or e5ams are one tin%.
. and 'i-e sometin% e'se/
Tere-ore2"o not discriminate.
. te %rades.
. -or tat wa$.
. $ou'' tric* te (ro-essor.
. and e wi'' tric* $ou/
1eave te avera%e %rade.
. -or te statistics.
. *nowin% tat it is.
. a scienti-ica''$ +ased 'ie/
Wat &ar5 said
3a(('ica+'e -or te -acu'ties in transition4
&ar5s +ar+er died on is +irt/
Wenever a (ro-essor 0uoted.
. wat &ar5 said.
. it seemed tat.
. e imse'- was a witness to it/
I- 'ater.. we read it -rom te +oo*.
. we wou'd understand.
. tat te two were not on s(ea*in% terms/
#owada$s.
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
34/38
. te same (ro-essors -or%ot a+out &ar5.
. and turned to God.
. wic can +e -ata'.
. -or te surviva' o- re'i%ion/
!rover+s!rover+s are te smart (art o- a (eo('e/
Stud$6 stud$ and stud$.
. said te man.// wo never was a student/
Tree %reatest +'unders
Te man $ou addressed to as* a+out a (ro-essor.
. turns out to +e imse'-/
To do te test.
. and ta*e it ome wit $ou/To sa*e ands wit te assistant.
. wi'e o'din% te ,,,
Ru'e #o/ J
Te -irst mane.. $ou meet at te de(artment.
. wi'' 'oo* 'i*e a (ro-essor.
. +ut wi'' +e te ('um+er/
Ru'e #o/ =
#ever enter te (ro-essors o--ice.
. carr$in% a ('astic +a%.
. un'ess $ou ave.
. so'id reasons -or tat/
Once e understands tat te +a%.. o'ds notin% -or im.
. e'' %ive $ou te same/
)ater'$ advice to -uture doctors
Cure $our (ro-essors.
. 'i*e te$ tau%t $ou/Tat wa$ ever$one wi'' %et.
. wat te$ deserve/
Te$ wi'' %et te ('easure.. o- a (ro-essiona' and.
. (ain'ess treatment.
. and $oun% ($sicians.
. wi'' %et a new 7o+/
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
35/38
)i''in% out te teacer eva'uation -orm
Te anon$mous assessment o- teir wor*.
. is sometin% usua''$ conducted.
. +$ (o(u'ar (ro-essors.. wic is understanda+'e.
. a'tou% te oter ones.
. sometimes do it.
. wic sometimes is madness/
Yet6 it on'$ seems tat wa$.
. -or +ot %rou(s o- (ro-essors.
. wi'' on'$ demonstrate te documents.
. (raisin% teir wor*/
Te on'$ di--erence is.. tat te 'atter.
. ad to destro$.
. most o- te documentation/
So6 -i'' out tose (o''s care-u''$.
. and +e sure not to 'eave $our -in%er(rints/
Best )riend
Your +est -riend.
. needs to ave tose 0ua'ities.
. $oure missin%/
He is a'so a student.
. +ut is identit$.
. $ou'' -ind out.
. once $ou sto( seein% eac oter/
Its not te one $ou s(ent most time wit.. +ut6 as in an$ tri''er.
. te one.
. $ou 'east sus(ected/
Autonom$ o- te universit$
Ever$one is in -avor o- universit$ +ein% autonomous.. on'$ te autonom$ is di--erent'$ seen/
Te ones in i% ('aces.
. tin* it means./// to decide autonomous'$ on te
. 'en%t o- teir mandate/
As 'on%6 and as autonomous.
. as (ossi+'e/
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
36/38
)or tem6 te autonom$ is.
. wat it rea''$ isnt.
And -or wat it tru'$ is//. te$ wi'' start advocatin%.
. once te$ +ecome te o((osition/
!ro-essors in te o((osition.. tin* tat tere is.
. no autonom$ at te universit$.
. and te$re com('ete'$ ri%t/Te$6 owever.
. do not mind te -act.
. as muc as te *now'ed%e.
. tat te$ cose te ri%t universit$.
. +ut te wron% (art$/
Ever$one e'se.
. *now ver$ we'' wat autonom$ means.. +ut te$ wi'' never.
. +e a+'e to demonstrate it in (ractice.
. +ecause o- te mentioned two %rou(s.
. o- (ro-essors/
)acu't$ !o'itics
!o'itics sou'd +e +anned a te -acu't$/
!o'itics o- a'' te (arties sou'd +e +anned.
. e5ce(t -or mine/
As 'on% as teres (o'itics at te -acu't$.. te -acu't$ is on o'ida$/
GraduationGraduation e5am is ta*en2
To -ind out te studies end date/
)or te (ro-essors to -ina''$ ave a drin*6 o--icia''$/
To add to $our norma' name.. an incom(reensi+'e tit'e/
To tr$ on $ou (rom suit.
. once more.
. +e-ore $ou %et married/
To remind (eo('e.
. o- tat time 'on% a%o wen $ou started stud$in%/To +rin% on env$.
. in tose wo c'aimed.
. $ou'' never do it.
. and dis%ust.
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
37/38
. in tose wo'' sa$.
. A; Te (eo('e wo %raduate nowada$s.
Students +oo*'et
Students +oo*'et is a (ersona' document wic unconvincin%'$ sows te attaced(oto/
A'' te irre'evant data.. can +e -ound in te students +oo*'et.
. and notin% o- te tin%s $ou are (roud o-/
On ever$ (a%e wit sometin% (ositive.
. tere is a'so sometin%.
. same-u'/
"urin% te studies.
Te +oo*'et is *e(t in order to.
. do semester c'earance .. and 'ater on.
. not to 'et $our ci'dren see it/
"i('oma
A di('oma is te evidence o- %raduation/Tat $ou s'i((ed/
Tat no+od$s (er-ect/
Tat te wo'e -acu't$.
. can +e ('aced.
. on a sin%'e (a(er ro''/
Tat $ou were more (ersistent.
. tan inte''i%ent.And more (atient tan ardwor*in%/
A %raduate *nows ever$tin%.
. e5ce(t wat to do wit is di('oma/A di('oma can +e2
)ramed.
. +ut itd +e a waste o- -rame.
. and it wou'd increase.
. te oterwise (oint'ess.
. costs o- stud$in%/
It can +e sown to $our re'atives.. +ut $ou do not deserve te s$m(at$/
You cou'd ta*e it to te em('o$ment a%enc$.
. and %et ever$tin% tere.
. -rom cic*en(o5 to (ertussis.
. +ut not a 7o+/
Brain activit$
8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide
38/38
Te students +rain is.
. a sin%u'ar or%an.
. +ut considerin% is actions.
. and te -act tat its not visi+'e.
. one -ee's tat it doesnt e5ist/
It is ard'$ credi+'e.. tat durin% te studies.
. a'' tose +oo*s cou'd -it into it.
. +ut one sou'd not -or%et.
. tat ,,,
. are (ut in a'' te di--erent ('aces.
. and never inside te ead/
THE "ARK SI"E O) THE BRAI# WHERE #OTHI#G CA# BE SEE#/
#euro($sio'o%ica' students +rain centers
Board %ames
Know'ed%eSe5
)ee'in% o- 7ustice
Ceatin% centerS(eec center
Wis(erin% center
&otoric activit$
3%et te e'' outta ere;;;4
Homewor*
Ar$tmetics center3dream and rea'it$4
Te center -or stud$in% cannot +e sown -or te -act tat tose -ew ce''s se'domdemonstrate an$ activit$/ A''er%ic reaction to some (ro-essors cause ,,, in students wo
ad not +een vaccinated/ Te internet center Searc and Esca(e +ecomes dominant on'$
a-ter %raduation/