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Circumcision Humor
They're Gonna Do What?Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each o ther, outside the operating room.The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"
The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous." The first kid says,"You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, andwhen you wake up they give you lo ts o f Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!"
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?" The first kid says, "A circumcision." And thesecond kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk fo r a year!"
Dennis Wolfberg - The Bris
Circumcision Info
1. What is circumcision?
2. Who in the world getscircumised?
3. The circumcision debate.
4. Circumcision history andrecent trends.
5. Position statements bynational pediatric bodies.
6. Why the foreskin increasesinfection risk.
7. Circumcision - 'shapshot' ofhealth benefits + reviews.
8. Different specialists seedifferent things.
CircumcisionBrochures
Male Circumcision Brochure- Informat ion Guide s in various
language s
• Guide for Parents (Australian)PDF
• Guide for Parents (Americanversion) PDF
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vY3Be9MxTSw
Jewish SamuraiBack in the time o f the Samurai there was a powerful emperor who needed a new head Samurai,so he sent out a declaration throughout the country that he was searching for one.
A year passed and only 3 people showed up: a Japanese Samurai, a Chinese Samurai and aJewish Samurai. The emperor asked the Japanese Samurai to come in and demonstrate why heshould be head Samurai. The Japanese Samurai opened a match box and out popped a little fly.Whoosh went his sword, and the fly dropped dead on the ground in 2 pieces. The emperor
9. Circumcision - benefitsoutweigh the risks.
10. Pain and memory.
11. Penile hygiene.
12. What motivates parents tobaby boy circumcision.
13. Rates of circumcision.
14. Physical problems.
15. Inflammatory dermatoses.
16. Urinary tract infections.
17. Sexually transmitted infections.
18. Cancer of the penis.
19. Prostate cancer.
20. Cervical cancer in femalepartners of uncircumcisedmen.
21. Breast cancer in femalepartners of uncircumcisedmen.
22. Herpes simplex type 2 virus inwomen.
23. Chlamydia in women.
24. Trichomonas in women.
25. Bacterial vaginosis in women.
26. HIV: the AIDS virus.
27. Circumcision Socio-sexualaspects.
28. Circumcision - sensitivity,sensation & sexual function.
29. Circumcision - societal classdistinction.
30. Circumcision prevents
version) PDF
• Beschneidung RatgeberDeutsche (German) PDF
• Circoncision: Conseiles Parents(French) PDF
• Guide for Parents in (Traditional Chinese)
or • (PRC; mainland China)
benefits of circumcision, a guidefor men
• Guide for Men & Teens (EN) PDF
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exclaimed: "That is very impressive!"
The emperor then asked the Chinese Samurai to come in and demonstrate. The Chinese Samuraialso opened a match box and out popped a fly. Whoosh, whoosh went his sword. The fly droppeddead on the ground in 4 pieces.
The emperor exclaimed: "That is really very impressive!" The emperor then had the JewishSamurai demonstrate why he should be the head Samurai. The Jewish Samurai also opened amatch box and out pops a fly. His flashing sword goes whoooooooossshhh,whoooooooossshhh, whoooooooossshhh, whoooooooossshhh, whoooooooossshhh.
A gust o f wind filled the room, but the fly was still alive and buzzing around. The emperor,obviously disappo inted, asks: "After all o f that, why is the fly not dead?" The Jewish Samuraismiled, "If you look closely, you'll see that the fly has now been circumcised!
And, o f course, it's well known that the Jews are considered the most optomistic people in theworld--- they cut o ff a bit even before they know how long it's go ing to be!"
The Retired MohelRabbi Meir Leib, a well known and respected Mohel, decided to finally retire after 50 years o fservice to the Jewish community. One oddity about the Rabbi, was that after every circumcision, hesaved the pieces o f fo reskin he cut o ff. After so many years, and thousands o f Brises, hisco llection was enormous.
One day, the Rabbi happened upon a leathersmith's shop. The Rabbi brought with him, tenshopping bags full o f fo reskins.
"What can I do for you today Rabbi"? Asked the shopowner
"Vell, I tell you vat you can do for me, I have here a remembrance o f my many years as a Mohel. Ivant you to make for me something nice. A lampshade or something." replied the Rabbi.
"Don't worry Rabbi, I'll make you something special, come back next week" promised theleathersmith
The fo llowing week, the Rabbi returned to the leathersmith's shop, quite excited to see what wasmade for him.
"Nu, you make something for me?" asked the Rabbi
"Yes, o f course Rabbi, here it is", says the shopowner as he hands the Rabbi a small, flat, square
30. Circumcision preventsinfibulation.
31. Circumcision procedure.
32. Circumcision & Anesthesia.
33. Cost of the Circumcisionprocedure.
34. Cost benefit of Circumcision.
35. Circumcision - how do I findsomeone to do it?.
36. Circumcision - whoseresponsibility?...legal
37. Risks in infants.
38. Circumcision - risks in adults &older boys.
39. Circumcision - breastfeedingoutcomes and cognitive ability.
40. Circumcision, does it affectpenis length?
41. Circumcision - why are humanmales born with a foreskin?
42. Circumcision - best not todelay til later.
43. Circumcision - what causedmany cultures to rituallyremove the foreskin?
Summary
SUMMARY
Conclusion
CONCLUSION
References
In Alphabetical Order(A – I) • (J – R) • (S – Z)
Brochures
Brochures, circumcision
black & white brochure
• Guide for women (EN) PDF
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"Yes, o f course Rabbi, here it is", says the shopowner as he hands the Rabbi a small, flat, squarebox.
As the Rabbi opens the box, his small tired eyes suddenly grew large and he shouted, "VAT ISDIS? TEN BAGS OF FORESKINS I BRING TO YOU, AND ALL I GET OUT OF IT IS A SMALLVALLET? HOW CAN YOU DO DIS TO ME??", tears began forming in the Rabbi's eyes.
"Take it easy Rabbi, Please! It may look like a wallet, but if you stroke it, it turns into a suitcase"
from THIS LINK
Humo ro us circumcisio n so ng wit h images: http://one.revver.com/watch/104236
information guide.
Anti Circumcision
Anti- circumcision lobby groups.
Links & Resources
Circumcision websites & onlinediscussion groups.
BOOK: " In Favour ofCircumcision".
About the Author - Professor BrianJ. Morris.
Adult circumcision stories -testimonials and more.
Humor
Circumcision humor.
color brochure alternative
• Guide for women (EN) PDF
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alternative Cover Picture
• Guide for women (EN) PDF
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fromhttp://picayune.uclick.com/comics/trall/2007/trall070416.gif
Pinnochio: "Of course I'm circumcised .... with a pencil sharpener!"
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DecisionSome people claim that fo reskins are funAnd keep the 'muzzle' on the gun.But many doctors do declare:'It's healthier with the glans laid bare'So, mum & dad, we say to you,
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You must decide what's best to do,Your son will benefit throughout his life,As, incidentally, will his wife;If you make the cho ice that's always wiseand do decide to circumcise.
Writtenby Vernon Quantance
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Drawing
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by Tony Ainley
Naked Tattoo Manfrom www.verparacreer.net
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Don't cha wish your boyfriend was circumcized?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=2hmqAhP69bw
Boy in classroom, newly circ'dA teacher noticed that a little boy at the back o f the class was squirming around, scratching hiscro tch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was go ing on. He was quiteembarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.
The teacher to ld him to go down to the principal's o ffice. He was to telephone his mother and askher what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class.
Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back o f the room. She went back to investigate only tofind him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I to ld you to call your mom!" she
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said. "I did," he said, "And she to ld me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick meup from schoo l."
The TaxmanAt the end o f the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books o f a synagogue.While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said: "I no tice you buy a lo t o fcandles. What do you do with the candle drippings?"
"Good question", noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers,and every now and then they send us a free box o f candles."
"Oh", replied the auditor, somewhat disappo inted that his unusual question had a practical answer.But on he went, in his obnoxious way: "What about all these biscuit purchases? What do you dowith the crumbs?"
"Ah, yes", replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with anunanswerable question. "We co llect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and everynow and then they send a free box o f ho ly biscuits."
"I see!" replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi. "Well,Rabbi", he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover fo reskins from the circumcisions youperform?"
"Here, too, we do not waste", answered the Rabbi."What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office and about once a yearthey send us a complete dick."
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