“THE BUSINESS OF ETIQUETTE” PREVIOUSLY TITLED “PLEASE DON’T TRIM YOUR TOENAILS
WHILE INTERVIEWING A POTENTIAL NEW HIRE”
The ability to observe one’s behavior in the moment and adjust behavior as needed
Today’s Word: SELF MONITORING
The ability to observe one’s behavior in the moment and adjust behavior as needed
Today’s Word: SELF MONITORING
High Self Monitor: Over Analyzes
The ability to observe one’s behavior in the moment and adjust behavior as needed
Today’s Word: SELF MONITORING
High Self Monitor: Over AnalyzesLow Self Monitor: Doesn’t Analyze Enough
We want to be somewhere in the middle!
Our AgendaCommunicating with Confidence1
Our AgendaCommunicating with Confidence
At the Office
1
2
Our AgendaCommunicating with Confidence
At the Office
Using Technology
1
2
3
COMMUNICATINGWITH CONFIDENCE
FIRSTIMPRESSIONS
Confidence Credibility PreparationImages from TLC’s What Not to Wear
First Impressions are about
THE HANDSHAKE
1.When shaking hands, a man should wait for a woman to extend her hand. A.TrueB.False
1.When shaking hands, a man should wait for a woman to extend her hand. A.TrueB.False
2.You run into a colleague on the way to a meeting and her right hand is in a cast. You should: A.Shake the castB.Offer your left handC.Give her a hug, instead
2.You run into a colleague on the way to a meeting and her right hand is in a cast. You should: A.Shake the castB.Offer your left handC.Give her a hug, instead
3.The person with whom you are shaking hands offers a few fingers, not a full shake. You should A.Instruct them in the proper way to shake hands
B.Force your hand into theirs and give it a good, strong shake.
C.Roll with it and shake their fingers
3.The person with whom you are shaking hands offers a few fingers, not a full shake. You should A.Instruct them in the proper way to shake hands
B.Force your hand into theirs and give it a good, strong shake.
C.Roll with it and shake their fingers
Make the first move!
When you shake hands, make the flesh of your hand that is between your thumb and your
index finger (forefinger) meet the flesh of the same with the other person.
Make the first move!
When you shake hands, make the flesh of your hand that is between your thumb and your
index finger (forefinger) meet the flesh of the same with the other person.
Use a medium grip; not too loose &
not too tight
Make the first move!
When you shake hands, make the flesh of your hand that is between your thumb and your
index finger (forefinger) meet the flesh of the same with the other person.
Use a medium grip; not too loose &
not too tight
Make EYE CONTACT!!
Make the first move!
INTRODUCTIONS
HELLOmy name is
4.The following is the proper introduction: “Ms. Boss, I’d like you to meet our client, Mr. Smith.”A.TrueB.False
4.The following is the proper introduction: “Ms. Boss, I’d like you to meet our client, Mr. Smith.”A.TrueB.False
5.If someone forgets to introduce you, it’s appropriate to move on with the conversation without saying anything. A.TrueB.False
5.If someone forgets to introduce you, it’s appropriate to move on with the conversation without saying anything. A.TrueB.False
When someone joins the group, introduce them!
If appropriate, introduce yourself first
When someone joins the group, introduce them!
If appropriate, introduce yourself first
When someone joins the group, introduce them!
When introducing more than one person, introduce from most-important to least
If appropriate, introduce yourself first
When someone joins the group, introduce them!
In social settings, don’t forget spouses and significant others!
When introducing more than one person, introduce from most-important to least
If someone forgets you, introduce yourself!
When being introduced, stand up to shake hands
If someone forgets you, introduce yourself!
When being introduced, stand up to shake hands
If someone forgets you, introduce yourself!
Provide helpful information such as job title, company name, etc.
REMEMBERINGNAMES
REMEMBERINGNAMES JIM
6.If you forget someone’s name, don’t worry about it, just keep talking. A.TrueB.False
6.If you forget someone’s name, don’t worry about it, just keep talking. A.TrueB.False
7.What should you do if you see someone at a business event that you have met before, but you can't remember their name?A.Ignore the personB. Introduce yourself, apologize for not
remembering their name but say where you met them before
C. Introduce yourself and wing itD.Try to find out the person's name from
others at the event and then introduce yourself
7.What should you do if you see someone at a business event that you have met before, but you can't remember their name?A.Ignore the person
B. Introduce yourself, apologize for not remembering their name but say where you met them beforeC. Introduce yourself and wing itD.Try to find out the person's name from
others at the event and then introduce yourself
7.What should you do if you see someone at a business event that you have met before, but you can't remember their name?A.Ignore the person
B. Introduce yourself, apologize for not remembering their name but say where you met them beforeC. Introduce yourself and wing it
D.Try to find out the person's name from others at the event and then introduce yourself
Picture it written on their forehead
Create a mental filing system for names and keep it updated with details
Picture it written on their forehead
+
+ + =
Jeff W
righ
t
Jeff W
righ
t
Oak Grove Middle School PrincipalWife: Sandy2 Kids: Forrest & JennyCoaches soccer
NOW PRACTICE YOUR NAME RECALL SKILLS
See how much you can remember about each person (but don’t write anything down!).
You’ll have a chance to see how much you remember at the end of the presentation.
Alexander Craig
School Principal: Coronado HS
Graduated University of North Texas
Married
Four Kids—3 girls, 1 boy
Hobbies: mountain biking, sings in the church choir
Brad Stone
Assistant Superintendent of Rock Ridge school district
Graduated from A&M
Married
Two Kids: both boys
Hobbies: Golf and fly fishing
Megan Nevis-Hall
Executive Assistant to the superintendent of Katy ISD
Graduated UT San Antonio
LOVES UT football and basketball
Ran track for UTSA
Married and expecting first child
Hobbies: scrap booking
Thomas Forrester
Facilities Director for Montgomery ISD
Graduated U of Arkansas
Divorced
Two college aged children, one at U of Arkansas and one at OU
Loves Nascar
Amanda Price
Director of Operations for Boyd and Company
Graduate of William and Mary
Single
Raises Boxers (dogs)
Hobbies: 4.0 tennis player
“So, you’re a woman . . .”
“So, you’re a woman . . .”
SMALL TALK
8.Small talk is just another way to say “unimportant blather about things that don’t matter.” A. TrueB. False
8.Small talk is just another way to say “unimportant blather about things that don’t matter.” A. True
B. False
9.You don’t really feel comfortable making small talk, so you prepare a list of things to talk about and spend the night working through your list. Good plan? A. YesB. No
9.You don’t really feel comfortable making small talk, so you prepare a list of things to talk about and spend the night working through your list. Good plan? A. YesB. No
10.It’s probably a good idea to stay away from these topics when engaging in small talk . . .A. Your HobbiesB. Why you think Baptists are morally
superior to MethodistsC. That weird rash on your backD.What your kids are doing this summer
10.It’s probably a good idea to stay away from these topics when engaging in small talk . . .A. Your Hobbies
B. Why you think Baptists are morally superior to MethodistsC. That weird rash on your backD.What your kids are doing this summer
10.It’s probably a good idea to stay away from these topics when engaging in small talk . . .A. Your Hobbies
B. Why you think Baptists are morally superior to Methodists
C. That weird rash on your backD.What your kids are doing this summer
Make the first move!
Plan a conversation starterMake the first move!
Plan a conversation starterMake the first move!
Ask Open-Ended questions
Plan a conversation starterMake the first move!
Ask Open-Ended questions
Listen!
Plan a conversation starterMake the first move!
Ask Open-Ended questions
Listen!Share and Share Alike
Plan a conversation starterMake the first move!
Ask Open-Ended questions
Listen!Share and Share AlikeRemember a person’s favorite topic is: Themselves
CONVERSATION KILLERS
“It’s all about me”CONVERSATION KILLERS
A.D.D. (Diagnosed or not)“It’s all about me”
CONVERSATION KILLERS
A.D.D. (Diagnosed or not)“It’s all about me”
One-Upmanship
CONVERSATION KILLERS
A.D.D. (Diagnosed or not)“It’s all about me”
One-UpmanshipNosy Neighbor
CONVERSATION KILLERS
A.D.D. (Diagnosed or not)“It’s all about me”
One-UpmanshipNosy NeighborOver-Discloser
CONVERSATION KILLERS
A.D.D. (Diagnosed or not)“It’s all about me”
One-UpmanshipNosy NeighborOver-Discloser
CONVERSATION KILLERS
Eddie the Expert
PROFANITY AT WORK
%#$#&!!!
11.Your boss recently started incorporating four-letter words into his conversation with you. Now, you can really be yourself and let the F-Bombs fly!A. TrueB. False
11.Your boss recently started incorporating four-letter words into his conversation with you. Now, you can really be yourself and let the F-Bombs fly!A. TrueB. False
Consider the language choices of someone you respect
Consider the language choices of someone you respect
Consider the Nature of the Workplace
Consider the language choices of someone you respect
Consider the Nature of the Workplace
Consider the Specific Audience
Consider the language choices of someone you respect
Consider the Nature of the Workplace
Consider the Specific Audience
Swearing can create a sense of team but can also
offend others and create discord. Use carefully.
NONVERBALCOMMUNICATION
11.What percentage of the message you communicate is conveyed through your appearance?A.30%B.55%C.75%
11.What percentage of the message you communicate is conveyed through your appearance?A.30%
B.55%C.75%
12.When two business people communicate, how far apart should they stand?A.15 FeetB. 7 FeetC.3 Feet
12.When two business people communicate, how far apart should they stand?A.15 FeetB. 7 Feet
C.3 Feet
Gestures
Eye Contact
Gestures
Eye Contact
Gestures
Posture
Eye Contact
Gestures
Posture
Vocalics
=
Eye Contact
Gestures
Posture
Vocalics
=Interest Level
Eye Contact
Gestures
Posture
Vocalics
= Confidence
Interest Level
Eye Contact
Gestures
Posture
Vocalics
= Confidence
Interest Level
Feelings/Emotions
Eye Contact
Gestures
Posture
Vocalics
= Confidence
Interest Level
Feelings/Emotions
Power
Pay Attention!
Clarify when there seems to be confusion
Pay Attention!
Clarify when there seems to be confusion
Mirror the other person
Pay Attention!
Clarify when there seems to be confusion
Mirror the other person
Pay Attention!
Self-Monitor
GENDERETIQUETTE
Awareness is key!
Hold the door for women and men!
Awareness is key!
Hold the door for women and men!
Awareness is key!
Don’t stand when a woman enters the room
Hold the door for women and men!
Awareness is key!
Don’t stand when a woman enters the room
Women: In client meetings, stand to greet the client along with your male colleagues
Hold the door for women and men!
Awareness is key!
Don’t stand when a woman enters the room
Women: In client meetings, stand to greet the client along with your male colleagues
When a man offers to help a woman, he
means no disrespect
DISABILITYETIQUETTE
When talking with a person in a wheel chair
for longer than a few minutes, use a chair
When talking with a person in a wheel chair
for longer than a few minutes, use a chair
When greeting someone with a severe loss
of vision/blindness, identify yourself and those who may be with you
When talking with a person in a wheel chair
for longer than a few minutes, use a chair
When greeting someone with a severe loss
of vision/blindness, identify yourself and those who may be with you
For those with a speech impairment, ask close ended questions. Repeat or paraphrase their
answers to indicate understanding
Do not shout at those with a disability
Shake hands, even if you have to use your left handDo not shout at those with a disability
Shake hands, even if you have to use your left handMake direct eye contact
Do not shout at those with a disability
Shake hands, even if you have to use your left handMake direct eye contact
Do not shout at those with a disability
If an interpreter is present, do not speak to the interpreter
Shake hands, even if you have to use your left handMake direct eye contact
Do not shout at those with a disability
If an interpreter is present, do not speak to the interpreterOffer assistance with dignity and respect
Shake hands, even if you have to use your left handMake direct eye contact
Do not shout at those with a disability
If an interpreter is present, do not speak to the interpreterOffer assistance with dignity and respectKnow where accessible restrooms, drinking
fountains and exits are located.
AT THE OFFICE
OFFICESPACE
13.If you overhear a colleague’s conversation in a cubicle, it’s okay to comment on what you just heard.A.TrueB.False
13.If you overhear a colleague’s conversation in a cubicle, it’s okay to comment on what you just heard.A.TrueB.False
Engage in self-monitoring behaviors
Respect one another’s office space as if it were their bedroom
Engage in self-monitoring behaviors
Respect one another’s office space as if it were their bedroom
Don’t borrow without asking
Engage in self-monitoring behaviors
Respect one another’s office space as if it were their bedroom
Always return what you have borrowed
Don’t borrow without asking
Engage in self-monitoring behaviors
Respect one another’s office space as if it were their bedroom
Always return what you have borrowed
Don’t borrow without asking
Keep your space tidy
Engage in self-monitoring behaviors
Respect one another’s office space as if it were their bedroom
Always return what you have borrowed
Don’t borrow without asking
Keep your space tidyBe aware of others’ sense of smell
Engage in self-monitoring behaviors
Behave as though cubicles have doors; don’t
enter without permission
Behave as though cubicles have doors; don’t
enter without permission
Don’t “prairie-dog” over the tops of cubes or peek in as you walk past each one
Behave as though cubicles have doors; don’t
enter without permission
Don’t loiter outside of a cube while waiting for
someone to get off the phone. Come back later.
Don’t “prairie-dog” over the tops of cubes or peek in as you walk past each one
Behave as though cubicles have doors; don’t
enter without permission
Don’t loiter outside of a cube while waiting for
someone to get off the phone. Come back later.
Never read someone’s computer screen or
comment on conversations you’ve overheard
Don’t “prairie-dog” over the tops of cubes or peek in as you walk past each one
SELFDISCLOSURE
14.It’s okay to hold private conversations in bathrooms, elevators, and other public spaces.A.TrueB.False
14.It’s okay to hold private conversations in bathrooms, elevators, and other public spaces.A.TrueB.False
Self disclose personal information in small doses
Be wary of putting personal information in writing
Self disclose personal information in small doses
Be wary of putting personal information in writingSelf disclosure should be reciprocal
Self disclose personal information in small doses
Be wary of putting personal information in writingSelf disclosure should be reciprocal
Disclosure can help build strong work relationships
Self disclose personal information in small doses
Be wary of putting personal information in writingSelf disclosure should be reciprocal
Disclosure can help build strong work relationshipsRemember, though, that your words can be used against you
Self disclose personal information in small doses
PUNCTUALITY
At Work: Don’t be the last to arrive and
don’t be the first to leave
At Work: Don’t be the last to arrive and
don’t be the first to leave Value others’ time and your own
At Work: Don’t be the last to arrive and
don’t be the first to leave Value others’ time and your own
Hold yourself accountable
At Work: Don’t be the last to arrive and
don’t be the first to leave Value others’ time and your own
Hold yourself accountableDon’t use time as a tool to show your position
At Work: Don’t be the last to arrive and
don’t be the first to leave Value others’ time and your own
Hold yourself accountableDon’t use time as a tool to show your positionRemember, people make assumptions about your character based on your punctuality
FOR THE HABITUALLY LATE
FOR THE HABITUALLY LATE
Take one day/week and make a list of the reasons you are always late. Pinpointing the exact reasons are essential if you want to conquer or at least manage the problem.
Consider the impact your lateness has on your professional relationships and the way people view you.
Consider the context of your lateness -- is it just work or is it personal relationships too? This insight will help you to better understand the causes of your lateness.
Is your lateness potentially a cultural issue? If you were raised in a culture outside of the United States, there is the possibility that you don’t see time in the same way our Western culture does.
TECHNOLOGY
PHONEETIQUETTE
15.When using a speaker phone, you should announce if anyone else is present before a conversation begins.A.TrueB.False
15.When using a speaker phone, you should announce if anyone else is present before a conversation begins.A.TrueB.False
Clearly identify yourself
Clearly identify yourselfDO NOT use speaker phone in a cubicle
Clearly identify yourself
Get rid of distractions
DO NOT use speaker phone in a cubicle
Ask if you can call back if you can’t give your full attention
Clearly identify yourself
Get rid of distractions
DO NOT use speaker phone in a cubicle
Ask if you can call back if you can’t give your full attention
Clearly identify yourself
Get rid of distractions
DO NOT use speaker phone in a cubicle
Plan your agenda in advance
VOICE MAIL
First, check your voice mailVOICE MAIL
First, check your voice mailEfficiency is key
VOICE MAIL
First, check your voice mailEfficiency is key
Return voice mail calls in a timely manner: 24 to 48 hours
VOICE MAIL
First, check your voice mailEfficiency is key
Get rid of distractions when leaving a message
Return voice mail calls in a timely manner: 24 to 48 hours
VOICE MAIL
NEVER use voice mail to deliver upsetting news or information. “Hey Jim. I just called to let you know you’re fired.”
First, check your voice mailEfficiency is key
Get rid of distractions when leaving a message
Return voice mail calls in a timely manner: 24 to 48 hours
VOICE MAIL
EMAILETIQUETTE
Strive for a clear and concise subject line
Strive for a clear and concise subject line
Treat email like a business letter; meaning no fancy fonts, emoticons, etc.
Strive for a clear and concise subject line
Treat email like a business letter; meaning no fancy fonts, emoticons, etc.
DO NOT SEND EMAILS IN ALL CAPS!!!!!!!
Strive for a clear and concise subject line
Treat email like a business letter; meaning no fancy fonts, emoticons, etc.
Carefully edit and remember that emails are
always open to interpretation
DO NOT SEND EMAILS IN ALL CAPS!!!!!!!
Strive for a clear and concise subject line
Treat email like a business letter; meaning no fancy fonts, emoticons, etc.
Carefully edit and remember that emails are
always open to interpretation
DO NOT SEND EMAILS IN ALL CAPS!!!!!!!
Choose humor and sarcasm with care
Strive for a clear and concise subject line
Treat email like a business letter; meaning no fancy fonts, emoticons, etc.
Carefully edit and remember that emails are
always open to interpretation
DO NOT SEND EMAILS IN ALL CAPS!!!!!!!
Choose humor and sarcasm with care
Keep a thread going for ongoing conversations
It should go without saying . . .
It should go without saying . . .
• DO NOT forward emails with questionable content
It should go without saying . . .
• DO NOT forward emails with questionable content
• DO NOT assume that people will find the same things as funny as you do
It should go without saying . . .
• DO NOT forward emails with questionable content
• DO NOT assume that people will find the same things as funny as you do
• DO NOT assume that others cannot access your email
It should go without saying . . .
• DO NOT forward emails with questionable content
• DO NOT assume that people will find the same things as funny as you do
• DO NOT assume that others cannot access your email
• DO NOT forward chain letters to your professional colleagues
It should go without saying . . .
• DO NOT forward emails with questionable content
• DO NOT assume that people will find the same things as funny as you do
• DO NOT assume that others cannot access your email
• DO NOT forward chain letters to your professional colleagues
• DO NOT use email for sensitive issues -- face to face is ALWAYS best
It should go without saying . . .
• DO NOT forward emails with questionable content
• DO NOT assume that people will find the same things as funny as you do
• DO NOT assume that others cannot access your email
• DO NOT forward chain letters to your professional colleagues
• DO NOT use email for sensitive issues -- face to face is ALWAYS best
• DO NOT reply all unless the information is necessary for all to read!
CELL PHONEETIQUETTE
Put your phone on silent mode during meetings, interviews, lunch dates, etc.
Put your phone on silent mode during meetings, interviews, lunch dates, etc.
Be aware of your speaking volume
Put your phone on silent mode during meetings, interviews, lunch dates, etc.
Avoid ring tones that are annoying or inappropriate (La Cucaracha, anyone?)
Be aware of your speaking volume
Do not text during a meeting, lunch, or public performance of any kind: what are you 16?
Put your phone on silent mode during meetings, interviews, lunch dates, etc.
Avoid ring tones that are annoying or inappropriate (La Cucaracha, anyone?)
Be aware of your speaking volume
Do not text during a meeting, lunch, or public performance of any kind: what are you 16?
Love the one you’re with; it’s very rude to take a call when you are with others and you should
let it go to voicemail
Put your phone on silent mode during meetings, interviews, lunch dates, etc.
Avoid ring tones that are annoying or inappropriate (La Cucaracha, anyone?)
Be aware of your speaking volume
FACEBOOKETIQUETTE
Set boundaries for checking your facebook or other accounts at work
Set boundaries for checking your facebook or other accounts at workDo not use Facebook to air problems you have with other people
Set boundaries for checking your facebook or other accounts at work
Be careful what you post
Do not use Facebook to air problems you have with other people
Don’t use a public forum for sensitive topics
Set boundaries for checking your facebook or other accounts at work
Be careful what you post
Do not use Facebook to air problems you have with other people
Don’t use a public forum for sensitive topics
Set boundaries for checking your facebook or other accounts at work
Be careful what you post
Do not use Facebook to air problems you have with other people
Be careful tagging people in your pictures
NOW -- HOW MUCH
CAN YOU REMEMBER
ABOUT EACH PERSON?
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