Download - Behavioral Covenants for Unitarian Universalist Congregations Covenants.

Behavioral Covenants for Unitarian Universalist

Congregations

CovenantsCovenants

Mindful of truth ever exceeding our knowledge, and community ever exceeding our practice

Reverently we covenant together, beginning with ourselves as we areTo share the strength of integrity

and the heritage of the spiritIn the unending quest for

wisdom and love.

~Walter Royal Jones, Jr., Reading #458 from Singing the Living Tradition

Chalice lighting

What is this workshop about?

• What does it mean to be in covenantal relationship?

• A little bit of history• What is a behavioral covenant?• How do we begin to develop covenants?• How do we develop congregational

covenants? • How do we live our covenants?

The Rabbi’s Gift - By Scott PeckWhat it means to live in Covenant.

What does it mean to be in covenantal relationship?

What would it take for us to see the holy or the divine in each person with whom we tussle in congregational life?

- Rev. Tom Owen-Towle

Growing Beloved Community


It’s about making respectful behavior the norm -- “the way we do it here”

It’s about good manners !

It is about valuing our community and taking care of it by being respectful, by practicing respectful behavior with each other.


It means understanding that we truly are all in this together.

So, it is a good investment to pay attention to how we treat each other… how we behave.

It is a good investment in caring for the community we cherish as well as the persons who are part of it.

Unitarian Universalist Congregations

Are covenantal not creedal faith communities

A Little Bit of History

We struggle with the concept of covenant - why?

Where do our feelings come from?

Covenant - History - Abraham

Blood pact between unequal parties.

Sacrifice and submission.

Covenant - History - Moses

God promises to protect the people, they promise to uphold his code of conduct.

The ark of the covenant is the physical manifestation of the covenant between God and His people.

Covenant - History - Prophets

Partnership between God and His people to

finish creation.

Cambridge Platform 1648

PolityYou’re not the boss of me.We are all in this together,To work for a just and loving world.

Cambridge Platform 1648

CovenantThe wonderful material that is used

to build a house is not a house. We define ourselves. We agree to come together/We are more together than we are

apart.By our works shall they know us.

Unitarian Universalist Association

We, the member congregations of the Unitarian Universalist Association, covenant to affirm and promote…

Unitarian Universalist Congregations

Are covenantal not creedal faith communities

What is a behavioral covenant?

A deep abiding promise between equals ….To partner with each other and that which is bigger than ourselves…to work for a just and loving community.

What is a behavioral covenant?

An understanding set down in a

written document, agreed to

and owned by its creators,

and practiced on a daily basis

as a spiritual discipline.

How do we begin to develop covenants?

Behavioral covenants start with naming our common values, and with naming the value of good manners, and always startingwith ourselves.


Where do we begin?

with Leadership- Boards and

Staff


How? Discussion

DiscernmentDevelopmentPractice


Discussion - (the why) talking to one another about why we would do this, what is the purpose?


Discernment - (what’s important)

- what are the things we need to address ?

– what are the behaviors we want to model?


Development - (the words) What are words we will use?

- Wordsmithing’ to get it right

- Reworking it and living with it and reworking it again.

Mid-South District Board Covenant

We come together as leaders in faith, embracing

and honoring the many perspectives we bring. Grateful

for the privilege of serving the people of the Mid-South

District, and mindful of our responsibility to be good

stewards of District resources, we covenant with one

another to hold in reverence the religious community

of which we are a part and to promote, through our

service, the saving message of Unitarian Universalism.


In our work together, we promise to be fully present to one another, treating each person with dignity and respect. We promise to listen deeply, share openly, respect boundaries, and keep confidences, where appropriate. We will strive to remember those in and beyond our movement whose voices are not being heard. Where conflict arises, we will see opportunity to listen, learn and grow.


Ours will be an open process, responsive to the needs of the congregations we serve. We will take our roles, but not ourselves, seriously, leaving room for fellowship and fun. We will strive to stay on task, honor commitments, and not promise more than we can fulfill. We approach our work boldly, faithfully, and religiously, celebrating our milestones and challenging ourselves ever further.


In this spirit, we commit ourselves to serve together as able and creative leaders in the

Mid-South District.


Practice…

A board or staff can practice and maintain a covenant by– Reading the covenant together regularly –

especially as meetings begin– Reminding each other of the covenant –

especially when sticky moments arise– Talking about the covenant with congregation

members and others

How do we develop congregational covenants?

After a time when leadership has struggled with what a covenant is and how it is best used - we may begin the process to develop a congregational covenant.


Using the same process:DiscussionDiscernmentDevelopmentPractice


DISCUSSION• Congregation meetings can explore the

notion and value of having a covenant.• The minister can include the concept in

sermons.• Special workshops can focus on

covenant.


DISCERNMENT & DEVELOPMENT

• A special task force can provide leadership

• The leadership task force can invite ideas from the congregation

• The leadership task force can draft some words

• The congregation can discuss, amend and approve the words– and vote to adopt the covenant!


PRACTICE….(the doing) Once the covenant is

adopted…

- Calling ourselves and each other back into covenant over and over.

- Letting our new members know that the covenant is part of the expectation of membership.

- This is ‘the way we do it around here.’

How do we live our covenants?


“Speak the Truth in Love” A Covenant for Working Together

• Speaking– We will speak for ourselves and not for others

• the “Truth”– We will speak only of our own experience– We will speak as factually as possible

• in Love– We will speak honestly, with respect, and listen to

understand


Practice Deep Listening

• Listen to understand, not to prepare a response.

• Listening to understand does not require agreement.

• Concentrate on the other person’s thoughts and feelings, not your own.

• Activate your holy curiosity about this person’s interests.


This is covenantal dialogue:

• Respond to others creatively rather than critically

• Affirm the merit in what you have heard.• Share positive reactions before jumping to

concerns, questions, or criticisms.• Ask clarifying questions


Seek to understand…

…then to be understood

St. Francis


What doesn’t work to nurture a sense of covenantal community?

“Confidential” surveys or questionnaires

Large public “congregational” meetings

A “hearing”

How do we live covenants?

We are adults….

We can choose not to be offended.

- Dr. Fred Luskin

Covenant

A covenant is a tool not an end


Some of the congregations here at this workshop have experience with developing covenants.

Let’s hear some stories….!

Unitarian Universalism striving to build

communities where faith and tolerance

coexist in harmony.

Is this the way of the world?

Be a light unto the world!!!!