ATTACHMENT THEORY AND
IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS
Danielle Cooper, Nicole Fleming, Kirsten Rowland, and Tracey Wright
OVERVIEW I. Overview of Attachment Theory
(Bowlby, 1973, 1980; Feeney & Noller, 1990; Hazan & Shaver, 1987; Fraley, 2004)
II. Attachment Assessment (Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991)
III. The Four Attachment Styles IV. Role-Play Workshop
ATTACHMENT STYLES Secure Anxious-preoccupied Dismissive-avoidant Fearful-avoidant
SECURE Style A - “It is easy for me to become
emotionally close to others. I am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don’t worry about being alone or having others not accept me.” (Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991)
SECURE Low avoidance, low anxiety (Fraley,
2004) Children experienced caregivers who
were nurturing and caring (Egeci, 2006) Shows more initiated levels of self-
disclosure (Egeci, 2006) Has positive views of themselves and
others (Bippus, 2003)
ASSESSMENT DIMENSIONS
ANXIOUS-PREOCCUPIED Style C - “I want to be completely
emotionally intimate with others, but I often find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I am uncomfortable being without close relationships, but I sometimes worry that others don’t value me as much as I value them.” (Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991)
ANXIOUS-PREOCCUPIED Low, avoidance, high anxiety (Fraley, 2004) May not feel loved completely; Easily
frustrated or angered when attachment needs unmet (Fraley, 2004).
Negative childhood experiences (Simpson, Winterheld, Rholes & Orina,2007) More responsive to emotional care-giving(Simpson, Winterheld, Rholes & Orina,2007) Strongly motivated to experience "felt“ security (Simpson, Collins, Tran, Haydon, 2007)
Expressed dependence and desire for commitment in relationships (Feeney & Noller, 1990)
ASSESSMENT DIMENSIONS
DISMISSIVE-AVOIDANT Style D - “I am comfortable without
close emotional relationships. It is very important to me to feel independent and self-sufficient, and I prefer not to depend on others or have others depend on me.” (Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991)
DISMISSIVE-AVOIDANT Low anxiety, high avoidance (Fraley,
2004) Children experienced caregivers as
unreliable and unresponsive (Stackert & Bursik, 2002)
Personal insecurities influence how they perceive others (Vicary & Fraley, 2009)
ASSESSMENT DIMENSIONS
FEARFUL-AVOIDANT Style B -“I am uncomfortable getting
close to others. I want emotionally close relationships, but I find it difficult to trust others completely, or to depend on them. I worry that I will be hurt if I allow myself to become too close to others.” (Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991)
FEARFUL-AVOIDANT High anxiety, high avoidance (Fraley,
2004) Children experience caregivers who
were distant or absent (Mallinckrodt, Coble, & Gantt, 1995)
See themselves and others negatively (Woodhouse, Schlosser, Crook, Ligiero, & Gelso, 2003)
Tends to minimize closeness in order to avoid rejection (Woodhouse, Schlosser, Crook, Ligiero, & Gelso, 2003)
ASSESSMENT DIMENSIONS
SECURE & INSECURE ATTACHMENT VIDEO EXAMPLES
Couple’s Therapy 45 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8F-CCC5Y7yI&feature=PlayList&p=131E06DC6C82CABF&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=46Therapy Session 34 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBM-kDUGs7I&feature=PlayList&p=131E06DC6C82CABF&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=34
DATING STUDYBY WITCHER & KANOY Peace College students: N=113 Completed surveys on relationship
experiences Couples videotaped discussing
conflicting situations Three variables showed a significant
correlation: commitment, violence, and dyadic adjustment
DATING STUDY, CONTINUED Data Set – ANOVA
Commitment F(3,109) = 15.42, p<.001
Violence F(3,109) = 5.79, p<.001
Dyadic Adjustment F(3, 109) = 3.99, p<.01
DATING STUDY TABLECOMMITMENT
Commitment N Mean
Secure 59 7.47
Fearful-Avoidant 9 5.64
Pre-occupied 32 7.50
Dismissive-Avoidant
13 5.66
Total 113 7.13
DATING STUDY TABLEVIOLENCEViolence N Mean
Secure 59 1.45
Fearful-Avoidant 9 3.24
Preoccupied 32 1.86
Dismissive-Avoidant
13 2.02
Total 113 1.78
DATING STUDY TABLEDYADIC ADJUSTMENTDyadic Adjustment
N Mean
Secure 59 2.03
Fearful-Avoidant 9 2.53
Preoccupied 32 2.13
Dismissive-Avoidant
13 2.26
Total 113 2.13
IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS:HEALTH Relationships can contribute to things like
stress, depression, loss of self-esteem or confidence, and even physical illness (Schoebi, 2008)
Partners health can have lasting consequences on their relationship, as well as physical and psychological well-being (Schoebi, 2008)
Married and cohabitating partners will resemble each other in health status, either positive or negatively (Monden, 2007)
When people are in a strong, committed relationship they stop engaging in risky behavior and take better care of their physical and mental health (Monden, 2007)
IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS: COUPLE’S THERAPY Focus one specific aspect leads to greater
changes (Doss, Yeow, Sevier, et. al., 2005). Individual cognitions greatly influence how
emotions and behavioral interactions are expressed within relationships (Carrere, Buehlman, Gottman, et. al., 2000).
Distressed couples are more likely to remember negative events vs. positive events (Carrere, Buehlman, Gottman, et. al., 2000).
Therapists use a unique set of skills to help couples effectively deal with conflict within their relationships (Gottman, 1998, 1999).
IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS: STRESS Some stress is necessary in life Unmanaged chronic stress can have
negative effects on physical and psychological health of an individual (Cohen, Gunthert, Farrehi, & Tolpin, 2006).
Ways to Cope with Stress (Christopher, Christopher, & Shure, 2008) Exercise Yoga Meditation Qigong Mindfulness
IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS: EMOTIONAL STABILITY Simpson, Collins, Tran & Traydon, 2007
Secure Remain confident, responsive, and available Build greater intimacy
Insecure Look for self-affirming strategies Suppress urges to self-regulate or internalize problems
Avoidant Stress-relieving techniques Obtain and maintain interpersonal autonomy and
controlAnxious
Avoid emotion-focused coping strategies Achieve greater “felt” security
IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS Conflict resolution
Positive and Negative strategies Accommodate (I Lose, You Win) Avoid (I Lose, You Lose) Compromise (We Both Lose, We Both Win) Compete (I Win, You Lose) Collaborate (I Win, You Win) Use of “I” statements Communication
REFERENCES Barnes, S. Brown, K. Campbell, W. Krusemark, E. & Rogger R. (2007). The
Role of Mindfulness in Romantic Relationship Satisfaction and Response to relationship stress. Journal of Marriage and Family Therapy. 4(33). 482-500
Berger, Kathleen S. (2007). The Developing Person Through the Lifespan. New York, NY, US: Worth Publishers,192-197.
Bippus, A., Rollin, E. (2003). Attachment Style Differences in Relational Maintenance and Conflict Behaviors: Friends' Perceptions. Communication Reports, 16(2)
Calhoun, L., Cann, A., Norman, A., Welbourne, J. (2008). Attachment Styles, Conflict Styles and Humor Styles: Interrelationships and Associations with Relationship. European Journal of Personality, 22(2), pp. 131-146
Carrere, S., Buehlman, K., Gottman, J., Ruckstuhl, L., & Coan, J. (2000). Predicting Marital Stability and divorce in newlywed couples. Journal of Family Psychology, 14 (1), 42-58.
Christopher, J. Christopher, S. & Shure, M. (2008). Mind-Body Medicine and the Art of Self-Care: Teaching Mindfulness to Counseling Students through Yoga, Meditation, and Qigong. Journal of Counseling & Development. 3(86)
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REFERENCES CONTINUED Doss, B. D., Thum, Y. M., Sevier, M., Atkins, D. C., Christensen, A. (2005).
Improving relationships: Mechanisms of change in couple therapy. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 73 (4), 624-633.
Egeci, S., Gençöz, T.(2006). Factors Associated with Relationship Satisfaction. Contemporary Family Therapy: An International Journal, 28(3), 383-391
Feeney, J. L. & Noller, P. (1990). Attachment style as a predictor of adult relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 58 (2), 281-291.
Fraley, Chris R. (2004). A Brief Overview of Adult Attachment Theory and Research. Retrieved from: http://www.psych.uiuc.edu/~rcfraley/attachment.htm
Liem, J. H., & Pressler, E. J., (2005). Addressing relationship concerns in individual psychotherapy. (italicized) Journal of Psychotherapy Integration, 15(2), 186-212.
Mallinikrodt, B., Gantt, D., & Coble H. (1995). Attachment patterns in psychotherapy relationship: Development of the client attachment to therapist scale. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 42 (3), 307-317.
Monden, C. (2007). Partners in health? Exploring resemblance in health between partners in married and cohabiting couples. Sociology oh Health & Illness, 29 (3), 391-411.
REFERENCES CONTINUED Overall, N. C., Simpson, J. A., Fletcher G.J., and Sibley, C. G. (2009). Regulating
partners in intimate relationships: The costs and benefits of different communication strategies. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 96 (3), 620-639.
Schoebi, D. (2008). The coregulation of daily affect in marital relationships. Journal of Family Psychology, 22 (3), 595-604.
Simpson, J.A., Collins, W.A., Tran, S. & Haydon, K.C. (2007). Attachment and the experience and expression of emotions in romantic relationships: A developmental perspective. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92(2), 355-367.
Simpson, J. A., Rholes, W. S., & Phillips, D. (1996). Conflict in close relationships: An attachment perspective. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 71 (5), 899-914.
Simpson, J.A., Winterheld, H.A., Rholes, W.S. & Orina, M.M. (2007). Working models of attachment and reactions to different forms of caregiving from. romantic partners. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 93(3),466- 477
Stackert, Richelle A., Bursik, Krisanne. (2003). Why am I unsatisfied? Adult attachment style, gendered irrational relationship beliefs, and young adult romantic relationship satisfaction. Personality and Individual Differences, 34, 1419-1429.
Vicary, Amanda M., Fraley, Chris R. (2009). Choose your own adventure: Attachment dynamics in a simulated relationship. Personality Social Psychology Bulletin, 33(9), 1279-1291.
Woodhouse, S., Schlosser, L., Crook, R., Ligiero, D., & Gelso, C. (2003). Client attachment to therapist: Relations to transference and client recollections of parental caregiving. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 50 (4), 395-408.