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AaronCrumbley
Ms. Caruso
ENGL 1102
11 Apr 2012
Imagine a world in which the illuminati played a role in killing the leader of the free
world, wait just a minute, this isnt 2020 Im talking about November of1963. The John F.
Kennedy assassination tainted by the hands of the Illuminati. This is a major idea that many
people do not even consider as a possibility. This idea of supreme conspiracy would raise
eyebrows across the country, if not the world. This idea could evolve into a New York Times
best seller, a USA Today Top 100 book and most definitely could end up in Oprahs book club
list. It was the perfect time for an assassination because of all of the political and social strife that
occurred in the 1950s and 60s.
The initial driving force for my product was my interest in conspiracy theories. It just
seems like so many ideas, and concepts are hidden from the public eye and it really should make
you question what all is in fact kept from the American public. There are many high tier
conspiracies in which many agree something isnt right, yet many cannot agree on exactly what
happened. In becoming consumed with this idea the fact of the matter is someone other than Lee
Harvey Oswald killed the president that day. Certainly one could see this with basic witness
testimonies all describing a very different scene with very contrasting evidence of what
occurred.How do you suppose that three bullets can be fired from one gun in one mans hand and
no one see a thing? There are just so many details that dont align with what the government
Comment [BC1]: Refer to the MLA handout
on Moodle for proper MLA format and add
your name to the filename.
Comment [BC2]: Extremely conversational.
Comment [BC3]: Run-on sentence.
Comment [BC4]: Fragment.
Comment [BC5]: This paragraph is very
choppy because of how you talk about your
ideas. Read this paragraph aloud and pay
attention to the verb tenses you use. Its qui te
confusing because you say that this did
happen, not that you will make it happen.
Comment [BC6]: Rather than telling of how
you were inspired, talk about how the history
inspired the idea. Position your ideas
differently.
Comment [BC7]: Informal.
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wants us to know. These details just became embedded in my mind and when you go looking for
answers there are not always answers.
The main idea of this concept is we know the man who was responsible for pulling the
trigger and his motivation for doing so and how he feels after doing so. There are a few key
moments in his life which are touched upon, such as the death of his parents which leads to his
relocation to his ex military crazed uncles home. As well as his graduation from college and
when he is offered a contract from a very high official who claims to be the head of the CIA
when in fact hes a main piece in the illuminati organization. All of this and his ultimate
resolution in his head before he is murdered by the illuminati to keep him quiet. Which keeps the
mysterious and devious element the illuminati have maintained for so long.
The main characters name is Michael Novak and he is the man who murders John F.
Kennedy. He plays a huge role in the novel and we see him develop from a child all of the way
to a cold blooded killer. Many factors play a huge role in his life and the way he develops along
with his caretaker being a lunatic. Michael is also approached by the head of the Illuminati,
David Ross. David is a charming, manipulative man who will crush anyone in his path. We learn
that David is an older man who is very physically fit for his age and that he has an endless supply
of power and money. Jerry Norwood is Michaels crazy uncle. He is the X factor behind
Michaels interest in the military and the reason any of the chaos is unleashed. Jerry ran away
from home to the local armory when he was a mere twelve years old. This man knew he was
destined for military greatness and was willing and ready to serve his country at the drop of a
dime. Also Lee Harvey Oswald will still be included he will just play the same role as he has
before, a scapegoat. He will still be charged with the assassination of the President.
Comment [BC8]: Make this sentence more
succinct.
Comment [BC9]: This should be a comma,
but consider the length of the sentence and
how you convey the ideas.
Comment [BC10]: What is this?
Comment [BC11]: Fragment.
Comment [BC12]: You keep a storytelling
tone throughout this paragraph until this
point, and when you give this sentence, it
serves to pull the reader out of the story.
Work to give an opening sentence to your
paragraph so your reader will not jump into a
story in the middle of your paper, but will be
lead through your ideas, instead.
Comment [BC13]: You seem to begin with
the idea of the main character, but end uptalking about all of the characters here.
Consider if it would be more helpful to talk
about characters as you are talking about plot.
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Lastly I believe a subject so interesting and intriguing as this would have an impact on
many different audience groups. Ranging from the youth that love action movies today, to the
culture of adults that lived there young lives back in the 1960s, this would capture an enormous
amount ofattention. The premise behind this idea has never been used and I believe with the
growing interest in Illuminati affairs now, the work would be an instant success.As well as the
gigantic amount of people who are interested and still in doubt about the details of John F.
Kennedys death. Although the movie would indeed need to have a more mature audience it
would not be off of the wall violent or disgusting, just the simple details and the automatic
circumstances surrounding the project would not be suitable for a young audience. Adults would
probably be our highest audience and many details in this project are aimed at an older
generation who love a good mystery and now have an opportunity to take a step back and look at
one of the oldest conspiracies and ask themselves what if?Older people love to read and this
magnificent idea would create uproar in the literary world. Just think it would outshine Tom
Clancys series of military novels and put your company on top. The technique of observing
minute details and putting them on paper would make for an intense, action packed, thrill ride
that would keep you on the edge of your seat all while simply reading.
Comment [BC14]: Where have you
demonstrated this action?
Comment [BC15]: Why?
Comment [BC16]: Informal word choice
Comment [BC17]: Fragment.
Comment [BC18]: Informal.
Comment [BC19]: Such as? What do you
mean?
Comment [BC20]: Some dont. Give a
stronger rationale here.
Comment [BC21]: Aaron,
You seem to have a clear view of your
concept, but you tend to leave out valuable
information, such as I mentioned in this last
paragraph. In your revision, Id suggest that
you work to slow down your ideas. There are
many sentences in you paper that dont
convey any meaning. Change those sentences
to work toward demonstrating your point.
Also, consider the ways in which you divide up
your ideas. There are many more ideas you
can consider, such as how exactly this will be
presented and what you want your reader to
understand when they finish reading. Work to
more clearly articulate your purpose. You may
want to work toward a different structure that
would allow you to streamline your ideas.
Im looking forward to seeing what youll do inyour revisions!
-Ms. C