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ZTTKALA-SAAmerican Indian Stories,Legends, and Otherlritings

Edited with an lntroduction and Notes bycATHY N. DAvrDsoN and .o . NoRRrs

PENGUIN BOOKS

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and many more Plefces. This tearing her awa so young'from her'mother i, ,r.."rr^ry if I would have her an educatedwoman. The palefaces, who owe us a large debt for stolenlands, have b.gntt to pay a tatdy justice in offering some ed,'-cation to our children. But I know my daughrer must sufterkeenlv in this exeriment. For her sake, I dread to tell you myreply to the missonaries. Go, tell them tht they may take my[til da"ght"t, and that t]re Great Spirit shall not fail to rewardthem according ro their hearts."Vrapped in my heavy blanket, I walked with my mother toth" c"i.i"g. t-hat was soon to take us to the iron horse' I washappy. I riet my playmates, who were also wearing their bestthict'blankets. l .o*.d one another ou new beaded moc-casins, and the width of the belts that girdled our new dresses'Soon we were being drawn rapidly away by the white man'shorses. When I saw the ldnely figure of my mother vanish inthe distance, a sense of regret setded heavily upon me' I feltsuddenly weak, as'if I might fall limp to the- ground-' I was inthe hans of strangers whom my mother did not fully-trust' Ino longer felt free-to be myself, or to voice my own feelings'The teJrs trickled down my cheeks, and I buried my face in thefolds of my'blan\et: Now the fust step, parting me 'from mymother, was taken, and all my belated tears availed nothing'Havng driven thirry miles t the ferryboat, we crossed theMissouri in the,evening. Then riding again a.few miles east-ward, we stopped befoie a massive brick building' I looked atit in amazemiit, and with a vague misgivng, for in our villageI had never seen so large a house' Trembling with fear and dis-trust of the palefaces, my teeth chattering from the chilly ride,Icrept noiselssly in my ioft moccasins along the narrow hall,keeling very close to the bare wall. I was as frightened and be-wilered as the cptwed young of a wild creature'

Z IT(LA- S A

The School Days of an Indian Girl

ITHE LAND OF RED APPLESThre were eight in our party of brorzed childen who weregoing East with the missionaries. Among us were three youngbraves, two tall girls, and we three litde ones; Judwin,Thowin, and I.'\7e had been veiy impatient to start on our journey to theRed Apple Contry, which, we were told, lay a linle beyondthe great circular horizon of the Western prairie. Under a sky ofrosy apples we dreamt of roaming as freely and happily as wehad chased the cloud shadows on the Dakota plains. r(/e hadanticipted much pleasure from a ride on the iron horse, but'the tfuongs of staiing palefaces disturbed and troubled us.On the train, fair women, with tottering babies on each arm,stopped their haste and scrutinized the children of absent moth-ers. Large men, with heavy bundles in their hands, halted nearb and riveted their glassy blue eyes upon us.I sank deep ito the corner of my seat, for I resented beingwatched. Directly in ftont of me, children who were no largerthan I hung themselves upon the backs of their seats, with theirbold white faces toward me. Sometimes they took their forefin-gers out of their mouths and pointed at rny moccasined feet.Their mothers, instead of reproving such rude curiosit.lookedclosely at me, and attracted thei childrent further notice to myblanket. This embarrassed me, and kept me constantly on theverge of tears.I sat perfect still, with my eyes downcast, daring only now

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88 ITKALA.SAurr th"n ,o shoot long glances around me' Chancing to turn to;d;i"d"* at my sid--e,-I was quite breathless upon seeing onet;t b'-1 *us'tt't t"ltuph pole which strode bv at"h.rrt paces. Very near my mother's dwelling' along the eoge or;';;;ffi;t..'. ii't' wild sunflowers' some poles.like;d;;d .;lrni"d bv *hitt men' ofren I had stopped' onii;;;;',';;;;;;1" hold mv ear asainst the pole' and'hrine its low moaning, I used to wonder what the pIetacei.;i:";"r;'il-i. NT* I sat watching for each pole rhatelided bv to be the last one'"^irr *"v i i" forgotten my uncomfortable surroundings'when I hear one of my comrades call out my name' t saw.tnemissionry standing very near' tossing candies and gums intoour midst. This amused us all, and we tried to see who coulocatch the most of the sweetmeats'"'i't;t.d" .eu.'"I duys inside of the iron horse' I do,rot ...u'1 a single thing about our luncheons'"';;;#;hen rie reached the school grounds' The lightsfrom the wTndows of the large buildings fell upo some ot,theicicled trees thar stood benearh them' We were led towaro anrtl"t, *ft*. the brightness of the lights within flooded outi.t ,rtt .^t "i the exiired palefaces who blocked our way'Itit'u"t lt.r;i *o." f.o- f"ut than from the snow I trodupon.-'ni.ring ,t. house, I stood close against the wall' The strong"r-ii- *"rt i" the lrge whitewashed room dazzled my eyes'" .itii*tyitg of atd shoes upon-a bae wooden,floor in-creased tire whirring in my ears' My only satety see-:9 lo :t tnkeeoins next to the wall' As I was wonderng m whlch olrec-ii""";; f;all this contusion, tra' warm hands graspedme fuml and in the same moment I was tossed hlgh ln mloalr' rt"-...r." paleface woman caught me in her arms' I wasboth irightened and insulted by such trilling' I stared mto ner.ues. wishitg her to let me stand on my own.ieet' but shei-. *.o and down with increasing enthusiasm' . My"t h; -u.. .rd. a plahing of her wee daughter'Remembering this I began to cry aloud'They misr.rirderstood the cause of my tears' and placed me at

AMERIcN ,Noer 'srons 89a white table loaded with food. There oul party were unitedagairi. As I did not hush my crying, one of the older ones whis-pred to me, "I7ait until you are alone in the night."It was very litde I could swallow besides my sobs, thatevening."Oh, I want my mother and my brother Dawe! I want ogo to my aunt!" I pleded; but the ears of the palefaces couldnot hear me.From the.table we were taken along an upward incline ofwooden boxes, which I learned afterward to cll a stirway. Atthe top was a quiet hall, dimly lighted. Many naffow beds werein onJ straight line down the entire length' of the wall. In themlay sleeping brown faces, which peeped just out of the cover-ings. I was tucked into bed with one of ihe tall girls, becauseshi talked to me in my mother tongue and seemed to sootheme.I had arrived in the wonderful land of rosy skies, but I wasnot happy, as I had thought I should be. My long travel andthe bewildeiing sights had exhausted me. I fell asleep, heav-ing deep, tired sobs. My tears were left to dry thernselves instreaks, because neither my aunt nor my mother was near towipe them away.

IITHE CUTTING OF MY LONG HAIRThe first day in the land of apples was a bitter-cold one; for thesnow still covered the ground, and the trees were bare. A largebell rang for breakfast, its loud metallic voice crashing throughthe belfry ovethead and into our sensitive ears. The annoyingclatter of shoes on bare floors gave us no peace. The constantclash of harsh noises, with an undercuirent of many voicesmurmuring an unknown tongue, made a bedlam within whichI was securely tied. And though my spirit tore itself in strug-gling for its lost freedom, all was useless.A paleface woman, with white hair, came up after us' We

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go zrT( LA-Awere Dlaced in a line o{ girls who were marching into .the din-:;*::;-;-*.r. lii"n girls, in stiff shoes and closelv:;TlT*iJtr:*',,';;',.;f *;","i::#i.:iti'T;klilJ,i;o',-i' -v ui"'ket Lad been stripped from;;il;i.;r. i look. hu'd "t the Indian girls' who seemed3, T;;ii,; ;;';;;;"'" more immodestlv dressed thani, # ;;'''g .',":13,, Yi:r 'ffjjftiH;entered at an opposlte door' r;*il;#'i' ou' p"ttv'- I spied them in the rear ranks'ioot itt* "t uncomfortable as I felt''""fi,,ili;;i;' pp'd, ""d each of the pupils drew a chairfrom under the table. Supposing this act meant. they. *,t* T^::r"i". r otlt. out rnine and at once slipped into rt trom oneiii", i'"*n.il *tned my head, I saw that I was the o-nly oneseated, and all the res "' o* t"blt remained sranding' Just as I;;;;b.king shvlv around to see how chairs-were tou".i, " t.J". ef *us soottded' All were seated

at last' and;ili;; ;''"t;il;"t- in,o ,nv chair again' I heard a man's voice'.';i,;ii,-i looked"around to see him' But all" n*t rt"t- tfteir'heads over their plates' As I glanced atoil l"iTr.u-it"bt r' t ""oght the eves of a paleface woman'#'ii..'i"r.rv'iii"ip" mv eves' wondering whv I;;;;;t"h" bv th" i,'ungt *oman' The man ceased;iT;;t*t' ;nd then a third bell was tapped' Everv one"il"" ftli ltrfe and fork and began eating' I began crving"i, iit W .rtrt time I was afraid to venture anything more'*"-rrtrt"*1.* by formula was not the haidest rial in thatntJr* i"r. in'the morning, mv friend Judwin gave me a ter-liiliH;;.'i;;;;;; "'r'* woids or Engrish; and she'J.*rt "i i. paleface woman talk about cutting our long'ffi;';;i;:;Jthe's had ta"ght us that onlv unskilled war-"i"tr'#;;;;; .upi*td n"

theiir hair shingled bv the enemv'-ong out peopte' shon hair was wom by mourners' anoshingled hair bY cowards!---l dir"urr. our fate some moments' and when Judwns"iJ, "v. have to submit, because they are strong"' I reetleo'"-'-", i*iff not submit! I will sruggle first!" I answered'

AMERICAN INDI.N STORIES 9TI watched for my chance, and when no one noticed I disap-peared. I crept up ihe stairs as quietly as I could in my squeak-ing sho.i,---y -.occasins had been exchanged for shoes'Along the hall I passed, without knowing whither I was- going'Turning aside to an open door, I found a large room with threewhite 6eds in it. The windows were covered with dark greencurtins, which made the rqom very dim' Thanful that no one

was there, I directed my steps toward the corner farthest fromthe door. bn my hands and knees I crawled under the bed, andcuddled myself in tlre dark corner.From my hiding place I peered out, shuddering with fearwheneyer i heard footsteps near by. Though in the hall.loudvoices were calling my name, and. I knew that even Judwinwas searching for me, I did not open my mouth to nsver'Then the steps were quickened and the voices became excited'The sounds i"-. ,t"^i., and nearer. Women an girls enteredthe room. I held my breath and watched then open closetdoors and peep behind lrge trunks. Some one threw up thecunains, and th" too* was filled with sudden light. Vhatcaused them to stoop and look under the bed I do not know. Iremember bein! dragged out' though I resisted by kicking andscratching wildly, In spite of myself, I was carried downstairsand tied fast in a chair.I cried aloud, shaking my head all the while until I felt thecold blaes.of the scissors against my neck, and heard themgnaw off one of my thick braids. Then I lost my spirit. Sincethe day I was taken from my mother I had suffered exreme in-dignities. People had stared at me. I had been tossed about inthe air Iike a wooden puppet. And now my long hair was shin-gled like a coward's! In my anguish I moaned for my mother,but no one cme to comfort me' Not a soul reasonqd quietlywith me, as my owr mother used to do; for now I was onlyone of many little animals driven by a herder.

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92 . zlT(r{LA-AIIITHE SNOW EPISODE

A short time after our arrival we three Dakotas were playing inihe snowdrift. S7e were all still deaf to the English language'.*..otin* Judwin, who always heard such puzzling things'".'*"i.i.* we lerned through her ears thar we were forbid-Jen to fall le-nghwise in the snow, as we had been doing, to-seeour own imprssions. However, before many hours we had tor-not.r, tha rder, and were having great sPort in the snow'ihen a sfuill voice called us. Looking up, we saw-an impera-rive hand beckoning us into the house' le shook the snow otfourselves, and started toward the woman as slowly as wedared.Iudwin said: "Now the paleface is angry wirh us' She is go-ini to punish us for falling into the snow' If she looks straighti" ". eves and talks ludly, you must wait until she stops'Then, after'a tiny pause, sa 'No.' " The rest of the way wepracticed upoa the little word "no'"'-, t hupp"ned, Thowin was summoned to judgment 6rst'The door shut behind her with a click.Judwin and I stood silntly listening at the keyhole' Th-eo"ief".. *o-"n talked i very severe tones' Her words fell?rom her lips like crackling embers, and ber inflection ran upiik" th. r*ull end of a switch. I understood her voice betterthrn rhe hittes she was saying. I was certah we had made hervery impatiem with us. Judwin heard enough of the words to.."ir. too late that she had taught us the wrong rePly'"oh, poor Thowinl" she gasped, as she put both hands overher ears,Just then I heard Thowin's tremulous answe6 "No'""tlith "r, angry exclamation' the womn gave- her a hardsoankinq. fne stte stopped to say something' Judwin said itwas this; "Are you going to obey my word the next time?"'' Tho*ir, "nt*... agin with the only word t her com-mand, "No"'

MERrcN NDIN sroRIBs 93This time the woman meant her blows to smart' for the poorfrightened girl shrieked at the top of her voice. In the midst ofthe whipping the blows eeased abrupd and the woman askedaiother question: "Are you going to fall in the snow again?"Thowin gave her bad passwood nother trial. We heard hersay feebl "Nol No!"'ITitlT this the woman hid away her half-worn sler, and ledthe child out, stroking her black shon head. Perhaps it oc-curred to her that bute force is not the solurion for such aproblem. She did nothing to Judwin nbr to me. She only re-tuned to us our unhappy comrade, and left us alone in theroom.During the fust two or three seasons misunderstandings asridiculous as this one of the snow episode frequently tookplace, bringing unjustifiable frights and punishments into ourlittle lives.'Within a year I was able to express myself somewhat in bo-ken English. As soon as I comprehended a part of what was

said and done, mischievous spirit of revenge possessed me.One day I was called in from my play for some misconduct. Ihad disregarded a rule which seemed to me very needlesslybinding, I was sent into the kitchen to mash the urnips for din-ner. It was noon, and steaming dishes were hastily carried intothe dining-room. I hated turnips, and their odor which camefrom the brown iar was offensive to me. With fue in my heart,I took the wooden tool that the paleface woman held out tome. I stood upon a step, and, grasping the handle with bothhands,'I bent in hot rage over the turnips. I worked my ven-geance upon them. All were so busily occupied that no one no-ticed me. I saw that the turnips were in a pulp, and that furtherbeating could not improve them; but the order was, "Mashthese turnips," and mash them I would! I renewed my energy;and as I sent the masher into the bottom of the iar, I felt a sat-isfying sensation that the weight of my body had gone into it.Just here z paLeface rtroman came up to my table. As shelooked into the jar, she shoved my hands roughly aside. I stoodfeadess and angry. She placed her led hands upon the rim ofthe jar. Then she gave one lift and strode away from the table.

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94 ZITKALA_ABut lo! the pulpy contents fell through the cromblld bottom toth" floott She sp"red me no scolding phrases rhat I had earned'idid no, heedihem. I felt uiumphant in my revenge, thoughdeep within me I was a wee bit sorry to have broken the jar's I sat eating my dinner, and saw that no turnips wereserved, I whope in my heart for having once asserted the re-bellion within me.

.tvTHE DEVILAmong the legends the old waiors used to tell me were manystories of evif spirits. But I was taught to fear tbem no morethan those who stalked about in material guise' I never knewihere was an insolent cieftain among the bad spirits, whodared to array his forces against the Great Spirit, until I headthis white rnan's legend'from a paleface woman.rrt of " large b'ook sh showed me a picture of the whiteman's devil. I looked in horror upon the strong claws that grewout of his fr-covered fingers. His feet were like his hands'Tailins ar his heels was a scaly tail dpped with a serPent'sooen iws. His face'was a patchwork: he had bearded cheeks,lii." .*. Ilh"d t.en palefacis wear; his nose was an eaglet bill,and his sharp-poirrt" ."r, were pricked up like those of a slyfox. Above tirem a pair of cow's horns curved upward' I trem-bled with a*., att my heart throbbed in my throat,. as Ilooked at the i

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!'

FpIlIIIIliItII.

IF

96 ztrK LA-SAand unlssoed fredom we tumbled out upon chilly bare floorsback again into a paleface day' I7e had short time to jump intooru shes and clothes, and wet our eyes with icy water, beforea small hand bell was vigorously rung for roll call'There were tQo many drowsy children and too numerous ot-ders for the day to waste moment in any apology to nturefor giving her ihildren such a shock in the early morning' Werush-ed dwnstairs,. bounding over two high steps at a time' toland in the assembly room.A oaleface woman, with a yellow-covered roll book open onher arm and a gnawed pencil in her hand, appeared at the-door. Her smalt,-tired fae was coldly lighted with a pair oflarge gray eyes.t.1tod still in a halo of authoriry while over the rim ofher spectacles her eyes pried nervously about the room' Havingnl"oced at her lone lisi of names and called out the first one,ih. to.red up her -chin and peered through the crystals of herspectacles to make surg of the answer "Here"'

Relentlessly her pencil black-marked our daily records if we-were not prr.nt io respond to our nmest and no chum. ofours had done it succssfully for us. No matter if a dullheadache or the painful cough of slow consumption had de-layed the absenree-, there',vas only time enough to mark rhe tar-diness. It v/as next to impossible to leave the ion routine afterthe civilizing machine had once begun its day's buzzing; and asit was inbre in me to suffer in silence rather than to appeal tothe ears of one whose open eyes could not see my pain, I havemany times trudged in the dy's harness heavy-footed, like adumb sick brute'Once I lost a dear classmte. I remember well how she usedto mope along at my side, until one morning she could notraise hir head-from her pillow. At her deathbed I stood weep-ins. as rhe paleface woman sat near her moistening the dry lips'A-ong th" foldt of the bedclothes I saw the open pages of thewhite lan's Bible. The dying Indian girl talked disconnectedlyof Jesus the Christ and the paleface who was cooling herswollen hands and feet.I grew bitteq and censured the woman for cruel neglect of

AMERIClN INDIN STORES . . 9?our physical ills. I despised the pencils that moved auromati-call and the one teaspoon which dealt out, from a large bot-tle, healing to a ror of variously ailing lndian children. Iblamed the hard-working, well-meaning, ignorant woman whowas inculcating in our hearts her superstitious ideas. Though Iwas sullen in all my little troubles, as soon as I felt better I wasrcay again to smile upon the cruel woman. Y/ithin a week Iwas again actively testing the chains which tighdy bound myindividualiry like a mummy for burial,The melancholy of those black days has left so long ashadow that it darkens the path of years that have since goneby. These sad memories rise above those of smoothly grindngschool days. Perhaps my lndian nature iS the moaning windwhich stis them now for their present record. But, howevertempestuous this is within me, it comes out s the low voice ofa curiously colored seashell, which is only for those ears rhatare bent with compassion to hear it.

VIFOUR STRANGE SUMMERSAfter my fist three years of school, I roamed again in theI7estern country through four strange summers.During this time I seemed to hang in the heart of chaos, be-yond the touch or voice of human aid. My brother, being al-most ten years my senior, did not quite understand my feelings.M mother had nver gone inside of a schoolhouse, and so shews not capable of cornforting her daughter who could eadand write. Even nature seemed to have no place for me. I wasneithe a wee girl nor a tall one; neithe a wild Indian nor atme one. This deporable situation was the effect of my briefcouse in the East, and the unsatisfactory "teenth" in a girl'syers.It was under these trying conditions that, one bright after-noon, as I sat restless and unhappy in my mother's cabin, Icaught the sound of the spirited step of my brother's pony on

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98 zIrKLA- 5Arhe road which passed by our dweling' Soon I heard the;#;;'l;i'; ilkboar, and Dawe's familiar "Ho!".to his#;. il ;;iil tp* the bare ground in front of our house'i#;'ht" iu ,o oi," of the proicting corner logs of the low--of "o*ug", he stepped upon the wooden doorsteP'':;" "h;*. wiih a huried greeting' and' as I passed bhe looked a quiet "Whar?" into mv eves'""dil; tJg* t"lking with mv mother' I slipped the rop-eiro'in.'p.ty" Uridle' leizing rhe reins and bracing my teet.-ic rhe dashboard. I wheeled around in an -instant' The::X;:'*;;;v *v r'i' speed' Looking back*"11',t-'1J;;d;";* his'hand io me' I nrrned with the curve rn the;:;:i d;;eared' I followed the winding road which'.i"i,r"*'ti, btt*et" tht bases of litde hilocks' Deep:::;;"; ft.hes ran parallel on either side' A strong wind;;r;;"rt"ttt "" flunered mv sleeves' The ponvr.".fr.i,ft. top of the highest hill, and began an even race oni" i"tt.'ri.re was"nothing moving within.that great cr-:i; il.;;;;he Dakota pralries sa"e the tall grasses' overtti"rt II *"lu;w and rolled off in long' shadowv waves'-'\.htt;ht; ";" wigwam of blue and green I rode reckless^J;:;i";. i t"iit6td mv small consciousness to see the-rti,. i.i* flv from the pony's mouth'-'d;;;'tn" tittrt'" covote came forth at a- swinging*.r-,1, i"ting the cunning 'rhief toward the hills and. the

"".y"ti. up" the- rnomt-"tb impulse' I B"* h-1^Pli;il;;: t"d a wholesome fright' As I twned away togo back.to;i:;*;;u '"'r' *' upon his haunches for rest' for;;;hd *-mer dav; and as'I drove slowlv homeward' I,;t-J;;;;t. sti[ inted at me' until I vanished belowthe margin of the hilltoPs'In a little while I came rn srghr of my mother's house' Dawe,rtooJitt A. y"ta, hughing at an old warrior who was Pomltng"fl;-..6ng u,d "i"i" waving his whole hand' toward theilt"ur."vilh"hi blanke't drawn ou"er one shoulder' he talked and*i""t..""i .fv' Dawe turned the old mn by the shoulderand oointed me out to him'-'Tdil'i;;i,loft" *u"io' muttere' and went his

,C.MERTCAN INDIAN STORIES 99wav. He had climbed the top of his favorite barren hill to su-vev the surrounding prairies, when he spied my chase after thecoyote. His ke.tt e!.i recognized the Pony and driver' At onceoh.ury fo. -y t"f.ry he had come running to my mother'scabinio give her warning: I did not appreciate his kindly inter-est. for there was an unrest gnawing at my hean', ,oon ", he went awa I asked Dawe about

somethingelse."No, my baby sister, I annot take you with me-to the prtytonight," h" ..pli.d. Though I vr'as not far from fifteen, and Ifelt ihai before-long I should enjoy all the privileges of my tallcousin, Dawe persisted in calling me his baby sister'Thai moon[ht night, I cried in my mother's presence whenI heard the jot young people pass by our cottage. They were,ro -or. yo.g'biaves in blankets and eagle plumes, nor Indianmaids wiih prn y painted cheeks. They had gone tfuee yearsto school in the East, and had become civilized. The young menwore the white mant coat and trousers' with bright neckties'The girls woie tight muslin dresses, with ribbons at neck andwaiJ At these gatherings they talked English. I could speakEnglish almost ai well as my brotheq but I was. not properlydre-ssed to be taken along. I had no hat, no ribbons, and noclose-fitting goir.n. Since my return from school I had thrownway my shoes, and wore again the soft moccasins''Whil" O"*. was busily preparing to go I controlled mytears. But when I heard him bounding away on his pon Iburied my face in my arms and cried hot tears.My moher was troubled by my unhappiness. Coming to myside, she offered'me the only printed matter we had in ourhome. It was an Indian Bible, given hr some years ago by amissionary. She tried to console me. "Here, my child, are thewhite man's papers. Read a little fom them," she said most pi-ously.I took it from her hand, for her sake; but my enraged spiritfelt more like burning the book' which afforded me no help,and was a perfect delusion to my mother. I did not read- it, butlaid it unoiened on the floor, where I sat on my feet. The dim-yellow ligh of the braided muslin burning in a small vessel of

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roz rr(L-AOne after another I saw and heard the orators' Still, I could 'not realize that they longed for the favorable decision of thejudges as much as I did. Each contestant received a loud burstof applause, and some were cheered heartily. Too soon my turncame, and I paused a moment behind the curtains for a deepbreath. After my concluding wo:ds, I heard the same applausethat the others had called out.Upon my retreting steps, I \ryas astounded to receive frommy fellow-students a large bouquet of roses tied with flowingribbons. With the lovely flowers I fled fom the stage. Thisfriendly token was a rebuke to me for the hard feelings I hadborne them.Later, the decision of the judges awarded me the 6rst place.Then there was a mad uproar in the hall' where my classmatessang and shouted my name at the top of their lungs; and thedisappointed srudents howled and bayed in fearfr:lly dissonanttin trumpets. In this excitement, happy students rushed forwardto offer their con8rtulations. And I could not coneal a smile

when they wished to escort me in a procession to the students'parlor, where all were going to calrn themselves. Thankingthem for the kind spirit which prompted them to make such aproposition, I walked alone with the night to my own littleroom.A few weeks afterward, I appeared s the college representa-tive in another contest. This time the competition ws amongbrators from different colleges in our State. It was held at theState capital, in one of the largest opera houses.Here again was strong prejudice against my people. In theevening, as the great audience filled the house, the student bod-ies bgan warring among themselves. Fomrnatel I was sparedwitnessing any of the noisy wrangling before the contest began.The slurs against the Indian that stained the lips of our oppo-nents \ryere already burning like a dry fever within rny breast.But fter the orations were delivered a deeper burn awaitedme. There, before that vast ocean of eyes, some college rowdiesthrew out a large white flag, with a drawing of a most fo ornIndian girl on it. Under this they had printed in bold black leters words-that idiculed the college which was represented by

AMERIC.{N INDr{ STORIES Io3a "squaw." Such worse than barbarian udeness embittered me.I7hile we waited for the verdict of the judges, I gleamed ercelyupon the throngs of palefaces. My teeth r/ere hard set, as I sawthe white flag still floating insolently in the air.Then anxiously we watched the man carry toward the stagethe envelope containing the final decision.Thee were two prizes given, that night, and one of themwas mine!The evil spirit laughed within me when the white flagdropped out of sight, and the hands which hurled it hung limpin defeat.Leaving the crowd.as quickly as possible, I was soon in myroom. The rest of the night I sat in an armchair"and gazed, intothe crackling fire. I laughed no more in triumph when thusalone. The little taste of victory did not satisfy a hunger in myheart. In my mind I saw my mother ar away on the S7esternplains, and she was holding a charge against me.

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An Indian Teacher Among Indians

I. MY FIRST DAYIhough an illness left me rinable to continue my colleg-course,*u oiid" kept me from returning to my mother' Had shet .to*n of -y *o.n condition, she would have said the whitem"n's papers were not vr'orth the freedom and health I-had lostby them.-Such a rebuke from my mther would have been un-bearable, and as I felt then it would be far too true to be com-fortable.Since the winter when I had my fust dreams about red applesI had been traveling slowly toward the morning horizon' Therehad been no doubiabout the direction in which I wished to goto spend my energies in a work for the Indian race' Thus I hadwrien *r mothr briefl saying my plan for the year \/as toteach in an Eastern Idian school.z Sending this message ro herin the West, I started at once easrward.Thus I found myself, tired and hot, in a black veiling of carsmoke, as I stood $terily on a street corner of n old-fashionedtown, waiting for a car.lt a few moments more I should be onthe sihool grunds' where a new work was ready for my inex:perienced hands.Upon entering the school campus' I was surprised at. thethickly clustered buildings which made it a quaint liale village,much more interesting than the town itself. The large treesamong the houses gav the place a cool, refreshing shade, and,fr" gt.. " d"ep., !r.*' lfithin this large court of grass andtrees- stood a low gren pump. The queer boxlike case had a re-

AMERI ClN TNDIAN STORIES IO5volving handle on its side, which clanked and creaked con-stantly.I made myself known, and was shown to my room,-small, carpeted room, with ghasdy walls and ceiling. The twowindows, both on the same side, were curtained with heavymuslin yellowed with age. A clean white bed was in one cornerof the room, and opposite it was a square pine table coveredwith a black woolen blanket.'V/ithout removing my hat from my head, I seated myself inone of the two stiff-backed chairs that were placed beside thetable. Fo several heart thobs I sat still looking from ceiling tofloor, from wall to wall, trying hard to imagine years of con-tentment there. Even while I was wondering if my exhaustedstrength would sustain me through this undertaking, I heard aheary tread stop at my door. Opening it, I met the imposingfigure of a stately gray-haired man. I7ith a light straw hat inone hand, and the right hand extended for gieeting, he smiledkindly upon me. For some reason I was awed by his wondousheight and his strong square shoulders, which I felt were a fin-ger's length above my head.I was always slight, and my serious illness in the early springhad made me look rather frail and languid. His quick eymeasured my height and breadth. Then he looked into my face.I imagined that a visible shadow flitted across his countenanceas he let my hand fall. I knew he was no orler than my em-ployer."Ah ha! so you are the little Indian girl whp created the ex-citement among the college oators!" he said, more to himselfthan to me. I thought I heard a subtle note of disappointmentin his voice. Looking in from where he stood, with one sweep-ing glance, he asked if I lacked anhing for my room.After he turned to go, I listened to his step unti.l it grew faintand was lost in the distance. I was aware that my car-smokedappearance had not concealed the lines of pain on my face.Fo a short moment my spirit laughed at my ill fortune, ndI entertained the idea of exerring myself to make an improve-ment. But as I tossed my hat off a leaden weakness came ov'eme, and I felt as if years of weariness lay like water-soaked logs

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' ZITK ALA -upon me. I threw myself upon the bed, and, closing my eyes'forgot my good intention.

ltA TRIP WEST\TARDOne sultry month I sat at a desk'heaped up with work' Now'", ir.."ll'it, I wonder how I could have dared to disregard na-**t *"tttg with such recklessness' Fortunatel my inheri-;;;;; .i " -*"lorrs endurance enabled me to bend withoutbreakine." fil;h I had gone ro and fro' from my room to the office'in an urihappy since, I was watched by those around me.' On"r, ."rtu *inine I was summoned lo the superintendentt ot-fi... t u haf-ow I listened to his words, and when I re-a"*" to my room I remembered one sentence above the rest'It was this: I am going to turn you loose to pasrure!" He wassending me Ves io gther Indian pupils for the school' andthis was his waY of exPressrng rt'- i ,r."d.d oooiithment, but ihe midsummer's travel across thecontinent to search the hot prairies for overconfident parentswho would intrust their chilren to strangers was a lean- pas-r*1g.. Ho-.u.., I dwelt on the hope of ttttlq my morher' ItrieJ to reason that a change was test' Within a couple otdavs I started toward my mother's home'--Tt . i*.rrrt heat and ihe sticky car smoke that followed myhomewad rail did not nodceably restore my vitaliry- Hour al-'ter hour I gazed upon rhe country which was- recedrng raprdlyfrom me. Ioticed the gradual expansion of the horizon as.weemeeed out of lhe foreits into the plains' The great high build-inr"--whose towers overlooked the dense woodlands, and-. nieantic clusters formed large cities, diminished, togetherwith die'groues, until only little Iog cabins lay snugly in h9borom oithe vast prairie. The cloud shadows which drifted;b;;; .t the waving yellow of long-dried $asses tfuilled melike the meeting of old friends.

I

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ro7At a small station, consisting of a single frame house wirh arickety board walk around it, I alighted from the iron horse,just thirty miles from my mother and my brother Dawe. Astrong hot wind seemed determined to blow my hat off, and re-turn ine to olden days when I roamed bareheaded over thehills. After the puffing engine of my train was gone, I stood onthe platform in deep solitude, In the distance I saw the gently

rolling land leap up into bare hills. At their bases a broad grayroad was winding itself round about them until it came by thestation. Among these hills I ode in a light conveyance, with atrusty driver, whose unkemt flaxen hair hung shaggy about hisears and his leather eck of reddish tan. From accident or de-cay he had kist one of his long front teeth.Though I call him a paleface, his cheeks were of a brick red.His moist blue eyes, blured and bloodsot, twitched involun-tarily. For a long time he had driven through grass and snowfrom this solitary station to the Indian village. His weather-stained clothes fitted badly his warped shoulders, He wasstooped, and his protruding chin, with its tuft of dry flax, nod-ded as monotonously as did the head of his faithful beast.'All the morning I looked about me, recognizing old familiarsky lines of rugged bluffs and round-topped hills. By the road-side I caught glimpses of various plants whose sweet roots weredelicacies among my people. Vhen I saw the first cone-shapedwigwam, I could not help unering an exclamation whichcaused my driver a sudden jump out of his drowsy nodding.At noon, as we drove through the eastern edge of the reser-vation, I grew very impatient and restless. Constahtly I won-dered what my mother would say upon seeing her litdedaughter grown tal[. I had not r/ritten her the day of my ar-rival, thinking I would surprise her. Crossing a ravine thicketedwith low shrubs and plum bushes, we approched a large yel-low acrq of wild sunflowers. Just beyond this nature's gardenwe dew near to my motler's cottage. Close by the log cabinstood a little canvas-covered wigwam. The driver stopped infront of the open door, and in a long moment my mother ap-peared ar the theshold.I had expected her to run out to greet me, but she stood srill,

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o8all the while staring at the weather-beaten man at mv side' Atie,' ;h"i n.t lftiness b.ca*e unbearable, I called to her'"Mother. whY dq You stop?"'il;" i" 6reak the evil moment, and she hastened outto hold my head against her cheek'-- ilviu "r"tt,." i,h"t rnudness possessed you to bring home,uch " f.llotit" she asked, poindng at the driver, who was fum-Lling itt his pockers for change while he held the bill I gve himbetween his iagged teetb.--"ilt itii-tifun no, motheq he has brought me! He is adriver!" I exclaimed.Uoon this revelation, my mother threw her arms about me"""-r*ir. fo, hei mistaken inference' We laughed awayth. ,n-.t"ty hurt. Then she built a brisk fue on the ground;'th;;;.;. nd hung a blackened coffeepot on one of the;;;t ;f " orked pol which leaned over the flames' Placing a;;-;-;-h*p of'r.d "mbt's, she baked some unleavenedtead. This light luncheon she brought into the cabn' anduri"ng. on aable covered with a checkered oilcloth'-- Vtf-ottt.. had never gone to school, and tholgh she meantalwais to slve up her own customs for such of the white man's*" ut olrt.d iter, she made only compromises' Her rwo win-do*s, di..ctly opposite each other, she cutained with, a pink-flowered print. The naked logs were unstarned' nd ruoelycarved wiih the axe so as to 6t into one another' The sod root^. ""it* ,o Uo"st of tiny surflowers, the seeds of which- had".""ft"U".^ olanted by the constnt wind' As I leaned myil-""i"" th. logt, I discovered the peculiar odor rhat I.;;ld;"; forget. Th-e-rains had soaked he earth and roof so 'rt L. t-"uii damp clay was but the natural breath of sucha dwelling.- ;vtotht, why is not yow house cemented? Do you have nointerest in u -." .o-ftt"ble shelter?" I asked, when the-ap-f".""t ii.o"*"i.nces of her home seemed to suggest indiffer-ence on her Part.--t1v" ro.gr, -y child, that I am now old, and I do not work*it[;;;;;y or". oo. brother Dawe, too, has lost his

ZfTl(\LA-S 1MERICAN INDIAN STORfESposition, and we are left without means to buy even a morselof food," she replied.Dawe was a government clerk in ou resevation when I las!heard from him. I was surprised upon hearing what my mothersaid concerning his lack of employment. Seeing the puzzled ex-pression on my face, she continued: "Dawe! Oh, has he nottold you rhat the Great Father at Vashington sent a white sonto take your brother's pen from him Since then Dawe has notbeen able to make use of the education the Eastern school hasgiven him."I found no words with which to answer satisfctorily. Ifound no reason with which to cool my inflamed feelings,Dawe was a whole dayt journey off on the prairie, and mymother did not expect him until the next day. We were silent.l(4ren, at lengh, I raised my head to hear more clearly themoaning of the wind in the corner logs, I noticed the daylightstreaming into the dingy room through several places where thelogs fitted unevenly. Turning to my- mother, I urged her to tellme more a.bout Dawe's trouble, but she only said: "I7el1, mydaughter, this village has been these many winters a refuge forwhit robbers. The Indian cannot complin to the Great Fatherin Washington without suffering outrage for it here. Dawetried to secure justice for our tribe in a small matter, and todayyou see the folly of it."Again, though she stopped to hear what I might sa I wassilent."My child, there is only one source of justice, and I havebeen praying steadfast to the Great Spirit to avenge ourwrongs," she said, seeing I did not move my lips.My shattered energy was unable to hold longer any faith,and I cried out despertely: "Motheq don't pray again! TheGreat Spirit does not care if we live or die! Let us not look forgood or..justice: then we shall not be disappointed!""Sh! my 'child, do not talk so madly. There is Taku Iyotan'Wasaka,3 to which I pra" she answered, as she stroked myhad again as she used to do when I was a smaller child.

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rtoIIIMY MOTHER'S CURS' UPONWHITE SETTLERS

One black night inother and I sat alone in the dim starlight' inf* J "* ig*am. we fuere facing the river, as we talkedabout the shrinking limits of the village' She told me.about theooverw-sticken white setders, who lived in caves dug rn theionn ,uin.. of the high hills across the river'.'i *fti" "i. of road-footed white beggars had rushedhit.. io *"k. claims on those wild lands' Even as she wast.Uing thit I spied a small glimmering light in the bluffs'"That is a white man's lodge where you see the burnlngfue," she said. Then, a short distance from it, only a litde lowerifr"r rfr. nt", was another light. As I became accustomed to thenieht. I saw'more and more nvinkling lights, here and there',.ttr.d all along the wide black rargin of the river'Still lookins toiard the distant fuelight, my mother contin-ued: "Mv dailehter, beware of the paleface' It was tbe cruelpaleface who cused the death of your- sister.and your.uncle''-., b."u. brother' lt is ths same paleface who offets in oneo"ltn th" holv papers, and with the other gives a holy baptismin "*"*.. H i. tn. nypo"tite who reads with one eye,'Thou-ri"rr.r.ii; "ta *ith ih. oth.. gloats upon the sufferings ofthe Indian race." Then suddenly discovering a new hre ln thebluffs, she exclimed, "Vell, well, my daughter, there is thelieht of another white rascal!""Sh" .o."rr* to her feet' and, standing fum beside her wig-;;; ;; ,, " .u.r. uPon those who sat around the hated;;; ;""" light. Raising her right arm forcibly- into ^line withher eve. she thiew her whole might into her doubled fist s sheshot it'vehemently at the sffangers. Long she held her out-stretched fingers ioward the setder's lodge, as if an invisiblep*.. p"rt. ftom them to the evil at which she aimed'

ZITKAL-SA MERTCN IND IIN STORTES

IVRETROSPECTIONLeaving my mother, I returned to the school in the East, Asmonths passed over rne, I slowly comprehended that the largearmy of white ieachers in Indian schools had a larger mission-ary creed than I had suspected.It was one which inchided self-preservation quite as much asIndian education. Vhen I saw an opium-eater holding a posi-tion as teacher of lndians, I did not understand what good wasexpected, until a Ch-ristian in power replied that this pumpkin-coloed creature had a feeble mother to support. An inebriatepaleface sat stupid in a doctor's chair, while Indian patients car-ried their ilments to untimely graves, because his fair wife wasdependent upon him for her daily food.I find it hard to count that white man a teache ivho torturedan ambitious Indian youth by frequently reminding the bravechangeling that he was nothing but a "govemment pauper."Though I burned with indignation upon discovering on everyside instances no less shameful than those I have mentioned,thgre was no present help. Even the few rare ones who haveworked nobly for my race were powerless to choose workmenlike themselves. To be sure, a mn was sent from the GeatFather to inspect Indian schools, but what he saw was usuallythe students' sample work made or exhibition. I was nettledby this sly cunning of the workmen who hoodwinked theIndian's pale Father at Vashington.

My illness, which prevented the conclusion of my collegecourse, together with my mother's stories of the encroachingfrontier settlers, left me in no mood to strain my eyes in search-ing for latent good in my white co-workers,At this stage of my own evolution, I was ready to cursemen of small capacity for being the dwarfs their God hadmade them, In the process of my education I had lost all con-sciousness of the nature world about me. Thus, ,when a hiddenrage took me to the small white-walled prison which I then

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tr| ZIT(AL'Icalled my room, I unknowingly rurned awy from my one sal-vation.Alone in my room' I sat like the petrified Indian woman ofwhom my moiher. used to tell me. I wished my heart's burdenswquld n;n me to unfeeling stone. But live, in my tomb, I wasdestitute!For the white man's papers I had given up my faith in theGreat Spirit. For these t*" pupet. I had forgotten the healingin reesnd brooks. On account of my mother's simple view oflife, and my lack of an I gave her up, also. I made no friendsamng the'race of people I loathed. Like a slender tree, I hadbeen iprooted from my mother, nture' and God. I was shornof my iranches, which had waved ih sympath and.love forhome and friends. The natural coat of bark which had pro-tected my oversenstive nture r/as scraped off to the veryquick.Now a cold bare pole I seemed to be, planted in a strangeearth. Still, I seemed to hope a day would come when my muteaching head, reared upward to the sk would flash a zigzaglishmlns across the hiavens' With this dream of vent for atJne-p;, consciousness, I walked again amid the crowds','hrt, on. weary day in the schoolroom, a new idea pre-sented itsL to me. It was a nw way of solving the problm ofmy inner self. I liked it. Thus I resigned my position as teacher;und ,ro* I am in an Eastern iity, following the long course ofstudy I have set for myself. Now, as I look back upon the re-cent past, I see it from a distance, as a whole. I remember how,frommorning till evening, many specimens of civilized peoplesvisited the Indian school. The city folks with canes and eye-glasses, the countrymen with sunburnt cheeks and clumsy feet,lorgot their relative social tanks in an ignorant curios Bothsoris of these Christian palefaces were alike stgunded at seeingthe children of savage warriors so docile and industrious'. As answers to their shallow inquiries they received the stu-dents' sample work to look upon. Examining the neat figuredpa$es, and gazing upon the Indian girls and boys bending overitt.it oot r, the white visitors walked out of the schoolhousewell satisfied: they were educating the childen of the red inan!

AMERICN INDIAN STORIES . II'Tey were paying a liberal fee ro the government employees inwhose able hands lay the small foest of Indian timber. 'In this fashion many have passpd idly through the Indianschools during the last decade, afterward to boasiof their char-ity to the North American Indian. But few thee are who havepaused to question whether real life or longJasting death liesbeneath this semblance of civilization,