YVONNE NEWBOLD - AsIAm.ie

©Yvonne Newbold 2019

Yvonne Newbold [email protected] April 2019

Slide 1 YVONNE NEWBOLDMother

Author of The Special Parent’s Handbook

Speaker; Trainer; WHIS Ambassador, Autism,

Learning Disabilities & Families

Advisor, NHS England Learning Disabilities &

Autism

NHS Assembly Member

National Learning Disabilities & Autism

Awards – Lifetime Achievement Award 2018

School for Change Agents Graduate 2017

PENNA Outstanding Contribution to Patient

Experience Award 2016

LDT Learning Disability Champion Award

2015

HSJ Top 50 Inspirational Women in Healthcare

Award 2014

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Slide 2 SEND VCB = SPECIAL EDUCATIONAL NEEDS

AND DISABILITIES, VIOLENT & CHALLENGING BEHAVIOUR

I N C H I L D R E N & A D U LT S W I T H A N E U R O D E V E LO P M E N TA L C O N D I T I O N S U C H A S

AUTISM, INCL PDAADHD

OR AN INTELLECTUAL DISABILITY

Presented by Yvonne Newbold

[email protected]

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Slide 3

FRANCESCA, TOBY AND ADAM -THEN

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mailto:[email protected]



Slide 4

TOBY

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Slide 5 TOBY – THE

BIRTHDAY KING

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Slide 6 My Bucket List = Making things better for families like ours

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Slide 7 THE SPECIAL

PARENT’S HANDBOOK

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Slide 8 IT ALL STARTED ON WOMAN’S HOUR…..

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HUNDREDS OF SOCIAL MEDIA MESSAGES AND EMAILS LATER…..

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Slide 10

THE FIRST EVER VCB

CONFERENCE

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Slide 11 Four Different

SEND VCB

Workshops

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Slide 12 Take….. One Secret Facebook Group

+ 15 In-depth Questions

+ 115 Parents

+ six weeks during April and May 2018

= Masses of very powerful data

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Slide 13 We asked parents about

SEND VCB and…..

Your worst ever

day?

What do other

people think?

What professional

help have you had?

Have you ever felt

judged or blamed?

What’s worked? What makes your

family happy?

Has it affected

your

relationship?

How does it

make you feel?

What’s it like

after an episode?

How does it

affect siblings?

What makes a

“good”

professional?

Has there been a

financial impact?

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Slide 14 What’s Next?

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-

NC-ND

Writing a book

on SEND VCBOnline version

of each

Workshops

Live Online

Training

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Slide 15 Aggressive Behaviour Prevalence

In adults/children with additional needs

In adults with a Learning Disability prevalence of

Verbal Aggression 62%

Aggression towards Property 49%

Aggression towards others 51%

G. Crotty, O. Doody, R. Lyons, (2014)

"Identifying the prevalence of aggressive

behaviour reported by Registered Intellectual

Disability Nurses in residential intellectual

disability services: an Irish perspective

In children with an ASD Diagnosis

Aggression towards others 56%

Physical aggression in children and

adolescents with autism spectrum

disorders. Micah O Mazurek, Stephen

M Kanne, Ericka L Wodka. (2014)

Thompson Centre, University of

Missouri

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Slide 16 THIS IS NOT MY FAULT

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Slide 17 THIS IS NOT MY CHILD’S FAULT

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Slide 18 Nobody’s coming to rescue us

Instead, we have to

skill-up so that we can

rescue our children

ourselves

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Slide 19

DIAGNOSTIC OVERSHADOWING

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Slide 20 Our child’s behaviour is only the tip of the iceberg, the outward expression of

their emotions. We can’t start to change that behaviour unless we begin to

understand what’s going on beneath the surface – until we can understand

how our child is feeling deep down and why

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Slide 21

CAUSES OF SEND VCB

Severe Anxiety + Distress

= Fear

= Feeling Threatened

= Fight or flight response

SEND VCB is NOT deliberate

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Slide 22

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-SA

All Behaviour is a Form of Communication

The hard bit is understanding what they are trying to tell us

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Slide 23

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND

What does Anxiety look like?

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Slide 24

NEEDING TO CONTROL IS ALL ABOUT NEEDING TO FEEL SAFE AND SECURE

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Slide 25

FEAR MAKES PEOPLE WANT TO CONTROL THEIR ENVIRONMENT

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Slide 26 Frightened children who find the world confusing and scary

often try to control their environment and everyone around

them.

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PDA – NEEDING CONTROL ++++

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Slide 28

SOME CAUSES OF EXTREME ANXIETY

Sensory Processing

Difficulties

Change

Transitions

Routines

Communication

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Slide 29 THE FIVE SENSES WE ALL KNOW ABOUT

Plus three more –

• Proprioception

• Interoception

• Vestibular System

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Slide 30 Routines, Transitions and Change

• Any transition, routine or change needs careful

management

• Consider using timers, countdowns or verbal

reminders

• Visual timetables can help

• Other visual prompts can be very useful too

• Allow child time to process change, transitions

or new routines

• Be aware of how a child may rely on routine to

help with their emotional regulation

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Slide 31 Transitions – work out how to take away the iPad!

• Some of our children use them to self-regulate

• Always give plenty of warnings that it’s time to

stop

• Let the child help to decide when to finish

• Move onto another enjoyable activity

• Always let the child know when they can have

it back

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Slide 32 Communication

• Expressive and receptive speech – a child may be excellent at one and not the

other

• Written and visual prompts can help to augment understanding

• Children with additional needs often need much longer to process instructions or

information

• 8 Second Rule

• Soft voice – singing or whispering

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Slide 33

THEORY OF MIND

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Slide 34

MASKING

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Slide 35

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Slide 36

THE BRAIN IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND –DR DAN SIEGAL

© Yvonne Newbold 2019

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Slide 37

THEIR DISTRESS IS AS REAL AS ANY OTHER CHILDHOOD UPSET

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Slide 38 SHAME

“ I define shame as the intensely

painful feeling or experience of

believing that we are flawed and

therefore unworthy of love and

belonging – something we've

experienced, done, or failed to do

makes us unworthy of

connection.”

Brene Brown 2013

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Slide 39 BECOME YOUR CHILD’S MELTDOWN PARTNER

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Slide 40

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA

Become your child’s Behaviour Detective

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Slide 41

SAFETY IS PARAMOUNT

PLAN SAFETY STRATEGIES

MAKE SURE EVERYONE KNOWS THEM

REMEMBER – YOU MIGHT BE IN FIGHT OR FLIGHT MODE TOO!

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Slide 42

You are likely to be in

Fight or Flight Mode too

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Slide 43 You can’t “Fix” behaviour

Instead you can change the way you

• Think

• Communicate

• Respond

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Slide 44 How to be a

Behaviour

Detective

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Slide 45

STAY QUIET AND CALM

ONLY ONE VOICE IN THE ROOM

SHORT SENTENCES 5-8 WORDS

8 SECOND RULE

THEN REPEAT SAME SENTENCE

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Slide 46 Try to catch the meltdown before it happens

Plan strategies with the following in mind -

• Sensory issues

• Communication

• Clear unambiguous language

• Use visuals

• Plan transitions

• Minimise change

• Provide calm-down space

• Ask your child what might help

• Help you child build a toolbox of

calming strategies they can use

• Distraction

• Change of face

• Humour

• Plan screen-time endings

• Lots of compassion

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Slide 47 Put your own Oxygen Mask on First

Always be aware of how

this is affecting you and

making you feel too.

Children who have

extreme behaviour can

trigger difficult memories

or emotions in us.

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Slide 48 “Behaviour” can be a negative word….

Don’t think “How can I make a child

behave?”

Instead think “How can I make a child

feel safe, secure and happy?”

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Slide 49

HOW DID TOBY TURN THINGS AROUND?

Slowly and

Patiently

Watching

and

learning

from Toby

Making fun

and Toby’s

happiness

central to

everything

Counting

to give

Toby time

to process

Rigid

routines to

help him

feel safe

Timers

to help

with

change

Visuals to help

with

communication

Lots of

hitting

brick walls

and going

backwards

Now Next Later

boards to

reduce

surprises

Never giving up

and always

believing in

Toby

Giving Toby control over

as many of his own

decisions as he manage

Plus dozens upon

dozens of other

strategies

A complete

shift in

approach, with

Toby at the

heart of it

With Lots of Love

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Slide 50 FRANCESCA,

ADAM AND TOBY - NOW

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Slide 51 TOBY – ON HOLIDAY IN CUMBRIA LAST YEAR

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Slide 52

TOBY WITH THE DEER IN RICHMOND PARK

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Slide 53 TOBY ON HOLIDAY AT BUTLINS SEPT

2017

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Slide 54 Breaking the Silence on SEND

VCB

A closed Facebook Support Group

with over 3,200 families

SEND VCB A public Facebook Page, open to everyone,

sharing information and help for families of

children who have violent and challenging

behaviour

The SEND Parent’s Handbook

PageA public Facebook page with over 20,000

followers, sharing everything to make life

easier for families of children with disabilities

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YVONNE NEWBOLD - AsIAm.ie

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