Your 2017 Guide for Following Through on Your Creative ... · self-trust, and girded with...

Your 2017 Guide for Following Through on Your Creative Desires, Getting Your Scary Sh*t Done & Showing Up for Your Life

© 2017 JENNIFER LOUDEN JENNIFERLOUDEN.COM LIKE US ON FACEBOOK AT FACEBOOK.COM/JENLOUDEN


© 2017 JENNIFER LOUDEN JENNIFERLOUDEN.COM LIKE US ON FACEBOOK AT FACEBOOK.COM/JENLOUDEN.WRITER 2 of 60

Hey there! Welcome to my take on making your 2017 shiny with creative joy, shaped by self-trust, and girded with compassionate grit.

To showing the hell up, fully as yourself, and showing up for your corner of the world.

For being part of the growing “love army” our world so deeply needs.

This is my invitation to you to listen to the truth of what you want. To claim the support you need to make those desires real. To untangle the stories that snare you and make you believe _____ isn’t possible. And with a hell yes! create more of what you want for yourself and get your scary sh*t done. If not now, when?

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

― Maya Angelou

“Every time we ask a good question, we’re generating a fresh possibility and a new

way of seeing our life.”― Jen Louden

https://jenniferlouden.com/

https://www.facebook.com/jenlouden.writer/



Just FYI: Did you know writing changes who you are? The simple act of putting pen to paper alters the chemistry in your brain. Whoa.

When you write, your reticular activation system (RAS) is stimulated. This system acts as a filter for everything your brain needs to process. When you give more focus to something by writing it down, your brain bumps it up on the importance scale. In Write It Down, Make It Happen, Henriette Anne Klauser says,

“Writing triggers the RAS, which in turn sends a signal to the cerebral cortex: ‘Wake up! Pay attention! Don’t miss this detail!’”

Writing can help relieve trauma, help you achieve goals, and change your view of yourself and what is possible. Stories are built into how we make sense of the world. So let’s use all that power and mightiness to set you up for a just-right-for-you 2017.

WHAT THIS GUIDE IS NOTThis guide is not about New Year’s resolutions, affirmations, or getting yourself all ginned up with big pie-in-the-sky dreams that you can’t possibly execute in one year... or 10! That approach pisses me off and exhausts me. I failed to live my desires for so long because I dreamed too big and tried too hard. And because I thought being hard on myself was a success strategy.

This guide is a different way to approach your wants. It’s sneaky, it’s got neuroscience behind it, it’s going to surprise and startle you. It’s going to make it difficult to not take action. It’s part spiritual jet-pack and part let’s-get-real and into action now.

But know this - without pen on paper, nothing will change. You got to get to give. You’ve got to be present to win.

Big love and thanks in advance for your time and effort,Jen Louden





HOW TO USE THIS GUIDEPrint this guide. Or get a new notebook and write a prompt at the top of your journal and then go go go.

You could brew your favorite coffee or tea. Or pour a glass of sparkling water with a slice of lime.

For sure put your phone on airplane mode if you have it nearby. Turn OFF the computer. Maybe put on music that helps you think. I like Brahms string quartets myself.

Grab a favorite pen. One that flows.

Allow humor into the room. Send judgments and expectations outside to harass someone else for awhile.

Tell the truth. You are safe. If you can’t tell yourself the truth, your desires are thwarted before you even begin.

Spend 10 minutes at a time writing on the commute to work. Devote your lunch hour to this for a week. Or a Sunday. Make a day of it.





Prepare to surprise the heck out of yourself.

Please note there are suggestions on each prompt for how long to write. Please consider honoring them for best results by using a timer. And by keeping your hand moving. No need to hurry, and no insights come from editing or crossing out. First thought and then next thought and then next… let them all stay. Handwriting is more powerful than typing, but if you must type, turn off the monitor so you can’t see your words. Yes, you will make crazy typos, but you will stay out of editing mode - vital!

You can also speak your responses into a smartphone. I call it “free speaking,” just like “free writing.” Just keep talking and prompting yourself by saying “What else? What else?” if you get stuck. Or just repeat the prompt until your timer goes off. But keep talking.





YOU ARE THE EXPERT OF YOUR OWN LIFE. MOST OF

THE ANSWERS YOU NEED ARE ALREADY INSIDE YOU.

The rest of what you need you can and WILL learn. These prompts will point you to your next steps and remind you

that learning and evolving is what being human is all about. (Otherwise, you’d be a stuffed animal. A cute koala bear or a

panda, maybe. But still, stuffed. Learning and loving is what makes us alive!)





LET’S GO!

START BY TAKING IN THE GOODEvery human has a negativity bias baked into their brain. We are wired to look for what’s wrong, what went wrong, and what we didn’t do. What a bummer. But hey, it kept us alive out there on the veldt so we could pass on our DNA. So we got that going for us.

Now we know we must train our brains to notice and take in the good. In the process, we lift our mood, our energy, our ability to keep working toward what we want. When we don’t, we lose energy, purpose, and can even be making steady progress toward our desires and not even know it.

“...the brain evolved a built-in negativity bias. While this bias emerged in harsh settings very different from our own, it continues to operate inside us today as we drive in

traffic, head into a meeting, settle a sibling squabble, try to diet, watch the news, juggle housework, pay bills, or go on a date. Your

brain has a hair-trigger readiness to go negative to help you survive.”

― Rick Hanson, Hardwiring Happiness





A year ago you looked ahead with excitement, hope, and probably (if you are anything like me) a bit of “oh holy shit” trembling about what you wanted to create in 2016.

And now you’re here. 2016 is disappearing into the rearview mirror. Let’s take a moment to unpack 2016. (I promise there’s more good than you’re currently seeing and unpacking it will help 2017 a whole bunch.)

What I remember most desiring to create (creative, business, work, health, intimate relationship, family, adventure, community, financially) in 2016… Write without stopping for four minutes. Use a timer. It’s okay if you want to go a little longer. It’s okay if you hate the timer. Use it anyway.





What I did create (creative, business, work, health, intimate relationship, family, adventure, community, financially) in 2016 included… Be specific: I created monthly date nights with my partner; I wrote and self-published a book of daily meditations; I ran a half-marathon; I quit a job I hated. Don’t do this as a timed write. Instead look through your calendar or date book and take your time compiling. You may need to ask friends, clients, or colleagues. Do not skip this step!

What I didn’t create (creative, business, work, health, intimate relationship, family, adventure, community, financially) and what really thrills me about that is… Yes, thrills. Look for the good in what didn’t happen, what there wasn’t time for, what failed. I’m not asking you to get all Pollyanna “what a blessing” about heartache and failure. If something feels too harsh or negative to list, leave it be. And let yourself play with the idea of being thrilled for three minutes. This prompt can be super powerful it you keep your hand moving.





What I didn’t create in 2016 that I still want to create in 2017, maybe with a twist or a refinement, includes… Only move forward what still truly speaks to you, makes your heart go yum, makes you want to take action now. Leave behind anything outdated or that you are doing because you should or you’ve already sunk so much into it.

What sucked about 2016 that I need to declare right now loudly and proudly is… Nothing is too big or too small to name. Acknowledge what feels icky and get it out. BUT stick to the facts only.

“My car broke down three times” is a fact. “My car broke down because life is unfair” is an opinion. “My health was horrible” is an opinion. “I had four sinus infections” is a fact.

“My wife and I became a commuter marriage” is a fact. “I am lonely” is a fact. “It is all her fault” is not.

Don’t be concerned about keeping your hand moving on this one. Feel free to stop and think, and to edit out opinion words. Take as long as you need without getting sucked into perfection. You can always circle back with another fact if you think of it later.





“It’s like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always.

All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that

story.”― Patrick Rothfuss,

The Name of the Wind





WHAT STORIES DID YOU TELL YOURSELF IN 2016 & WHAT STORIES

WILL YOU TELL IN 2017?While the list of things I know for sure is pretty short, I do know this: We each have the power to author the story of our lives. We hold such vast power to live more fully through our ability to reshape, and leave entirely, our interpretations of past events and future desires.

You may have experienced just that while making a list of facts about what sucked in 2016 in the last prompt. (You did that prompt, right? If not, do it now; it will make this next section much more powerful.)

There is so much research about story, it would take a long time to summarize. But here are a few facts to inspire you:

• Our brains are wired for story; the human brain cannot encode a memory unless we can sequence any event into a beginning, middle, and end.

• You have a left-hemisphere process called the interpreter. It’s purpose seems to be to find order in chaos, to try to fit everything into a story and put it into a context.

• Narrative therapist and therapists working in other modalities observe that depression frequently stems from an “incoherent story,” or “a life story gone awry.” Reworking that story can relieve depression and give people a story they can thrive with.

• We remember stories 22 times better than facts.• Research has shown that happy people naturally reinterpret events so

that they preserve their self-esteem.





• When we tell a story, we exert control over our lives.• Research by people like Carol Dweck at Stanford have shown that the

stories we tell ourselves directly influence our abilities. For example, Dweck found that students who believed willpower was a non-limited resource did better during a high stress exam period than students who believed they had a limited amount of self-control to persist in their efforts.

So you see storymaking is something we do as humans no matter what, so let’s use that built-in ability to make our lives better.

We are all characters in our own stories, just like the characters we read about in novels or watch on TV. We reveal who we are by what we do. Fill out this prompt 20 times. Trust your imagination and the prompt to reveal new insights about who you are. Leave self-judgement for another day.

Your name is the sort of person who...

For example:

Jen Louden is the sort of person who writes on her to-do list to ask for support.

Jen Louden is the sort of person who loves to connect people and then feel good about herself because she did.

Jen Louden is the sort of person who if she doesn’t know what to eat, eats crackers.

Jen Louden is the sort of person who is still figuring out how to talk about her work after 25 years.

Now your turn. On the back of this piece of paper, complete the prompt 20 times.





The most fascinating discovery I made about the sort of person I am/was in 2016 includes… Write for two to three minutes. It’s perfect that you have no idea what you are going to say. Trust the process to reveal and nurture.

The writer Donald Miller believes “the point of life is the same as the point of a story, the point of life is character transformation.” If that’s true, if we live to transform (rather than arrive at our destination, get finished, win, please others, stay safe), what does your heart say about this prompt:

I, (your name), transformed as a character in 2016 these ways… Go for four minutes. How did the twists and turns of 2016 transform you? It’s not about good or bad; it’s about naming how 2016 shaped you. Shape can mean all kinds of things, don’t strain for tidy or good, let yourself explore being shaped.





The juiciest of all my transformations was… Name five. Be greedy. Whatever juicy means to you.

Looking back at 2016, what this character desired was… If you were watching you in 2016 in a movie, what would you say your character most wanted given what she did or didn’t do? Given the actions and choices she made or didn’t make? Go for three to five desires that someone observing you in 2016 could conclude.

As an example, if I saw you making art and selling your work, I might conclude being a working artist is what your character desired. If I saw you gardening and giving away your produce to the food bank, I might conclude nourishing people in a sustainable way is most important to you.





Your name is the sort of person who in 2017… Give yourself eight new character actions for 2017. Not sky-pie affirmations for a perfect new you - ew. Instead, grounded actions.

For example, Jen Louden is the sort of person who is devoted to finishing her book and starts the day with writing no matter what.

Now, imagine you’re watching a movie of 2017. What actions and choices will you observe your character doing? How will these actions and choices align with this character’s desires for 2017? Go for four minutes. Don’t worry about knowing or not knowing what you desire for 2017. Instead keep listing actions and choices that intrigue or excite you. Some may be suggested by what you did or didn’t do in 2016.





“Nothing so needs reformingas other people’s habits.”

― Mark Twain





THOSE PESKY PATTERNS & HABITS

To be human is to work with a handful of recurring deep-seated, often unconscious patterns for your lifetime. These are the things that make you say, “Shit, I did it again. How did that happen?!?” Yes, these shifts can soften over time with inner work, and they can come back almost as strong as ever under periods of stress. This is being human.

Mine include hurrying and rushing, thus creating way more work for myself and missing out on life; thinking I need to say or do things a certain way in my work to please people; over-delivering in my work, giving too much, then not having time for other projects; not keeping up with friends and family, then thinking nobody loves me; struggling with a morning ritual; resisting letting myself go when creating.

I showed you mine. Now show yourself yours…

My very favorite patterns & habits, the ones I say, “Shit, I did it again!” include… Write the patterns & habits you know off the top of your head, and then keep writing from there for four more minutes. Set the timer when you get to the end of the known world of your patterns. You will repeat yourself as you go forward and new words and insights will emerge.





Some of our patterns and habits fall into what I call shadow comforts and time monsters.

Shadow comforts are what we do in the name of recharging, self-nurturing, or self-care, but what we do doesn’t actually replenish us; instead it numbs us out or leaves us feeling less than or bad about ourselves. Eating pie standing in front of the fridge, watching seven episodes of a show, shopping for something we don’t need or can’t afford; it’s not what we do but how it makes us feel that makes it a shadow comfort.

Time monsters are often things we need or want to do (email, errands, volunteer work, housework), but we do these tasks before we attend to our true desires, or we make these tasks a bigger deal. Or we give them more time than they require. Checking email 25 times while writing, signing on to design the school fundraising poster and working on it for two weeks instead of two evenings, running errands in the middle of your painting or gym time are all examples.

One day when feeling drained by an evening of shadow comforts that then turned into a morning of time monsters in an attempt to “be disciplined,” I had this startling thought:

“What might happen if I was grateful for these choices and patterns?”

If I was grateful, what might shift or be revealed or be welcomed?

How might my self-acceptance grow?

How might gratitude free me?

So in this spirit I wrote a love letter to my shadow comforts and time monsters…





Here it is:

Dear sea salt and almond dark chocolate, gobbled three squares at a time while doing something else: thank you for teaching me to stop and savor the fullness of my life. Thank you for the chance to remember not to miss a thing. Thank you for reminding me to feel everything.

Dear crackers ripped from the package, crammed into my mouth, crunch after hard, salty crunch: thank you for teaching me I can bite hard into life, I can trust myself to handle whatever life brings. Thanks for reminding me of my grit rather than my whine, and that grit makes the pearl, not the other way around.

Dear Facebook feed, New York Times, email, email, email: you so beautifully remind me that every time I search frantically for connection, it is already here. In the connection with myself. In the hummingbirds outside my window, in the fir tree and the Chinese maple, in the light in Bob’s eyes, the devotion in Luna’s, in my sweet daughter’s love waving hi across the inland sea. In the wind, the poems, the stories. I am always connected.

Dear busy tight flutter of anxious hurrying and doing and trying to get it right: thank you for reflecting back to me how much I love to help, to serve, and that my soul’s lesson is to serve myself, and to life, first. You are so very good at teaching me this again and again and again…

Dear chocolate again: thank you for reminding me to open the door to my true desires. I don’t often really want you. Thank you for reminding me to ask, “What do I really want?” and to remember this is my life to choose.

And if that choice is chocolate or email or that box of Amy’s gluten-free almond cookies? Then well done. For whatever the choice I make, I have





learned to choose boldly and completely.

I thank you, my companions of food and distraction, for always welcoming me home. You will never stop appearing and now I see that is very good news. Because now, I know to welcome you, to bow to you, for relentlessly helping me awaken to this life.

Yup, you know it, now it’s your turn:

Write a love letter to your favorite lifetime patterns, your shadow comforts, your time monsters. Look over what you wrote in the last prompt, then write, “Dear ______ (NetFlix, picking a fight with my partner, always arriving late and harried, never putting your own desires first), thank you for... (What are you being shown or given that you are grateful for?)

Even something as simple as “time to not think” is worth being grateful for.

Do as many items from the last prompt as you wish. Don’t overthink this.





Our patterns and habits do shift, through gentle persistence, through grace, through loving support, and most of all, through self-compassion.

I never thought I’d be able to do ____, but I did and it felt like this... What were you able to do, accomplish, stop doing, or turn away from in 2016? And then how did it feel? Go for three minutes. Or 10!





“Life is rather like a tin of sardines - we’re all of us looking for the key.”

― Alan Bennett





THE THREADI have long been inspired by the William Stafford poem “The Way It Is.” In it he posits that there’s a thread that runs through our whole lives and we can never lose our way when we hold onto it. Here’s an excerpt:

“There’s a thread you follow. It goes amongthings that change. But it doesn’t change.

People wonder about what you are pursuing.You have to explain about the thread.”

Let this next prompt put you back in touch with your thread. You need not name the thread but rather feel it. Yes, that is perplexing to the logical mind - good.

The thread that wove through nearly every choice, experience, and desire over this past year is… You don’t know the answer but you will learn more and feel more if you keep your hand moving. Three to five minutes please.





Optional but fun: Go look for an image of your thread. Do not be literal. Let your unconscious imagination show you. You might start by looking at images you keep in a file or on your bulletin board. You could look through magazines or art books. Paste it in your notebook or write a description of it below.





I most doubt or judge my thread when ______ happens and also _______, and sometimes if _________ doesn’t happen.

What are your triggers that send you away from your truth and showing up for yourself? Criticism from a boss or partner, a friend being late every time you meet, not feeling well… Fill in the blanks again and again, until you have no more to say. Then write five more. Go beyond the known!

Going forward, when I doubt or judge my thread, instead of ________, I will __________________, and I might even __________.

Give yourself six or more alternatives to turn to, choices that support you in remembering the thread, the truth of your genius.





When I close my eyes and take three delicious fully-felt breaths - inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale - an image or word or feeling emerges in my mind of last year. It’s this:

Draw, doodle, make stick figures of what you see, feel, hear. Start doodling even if nothing came to you. Trust an image to emerge.





“I’ve finished that chapel I was painting.The Pope is quite satisfied.”― Michelangelo Buonarroti





BRAGYou’ll want to skip this section.

Don’t.

Most of us would rather downplay our wins and good moments or ask someone else to share their great news with us than acknowledge out loud how we personally triumphed, bounced back, or proclaim where and when we did a terrific job, completed the hard thing, stuck it out.

It’s that negativity bias again; plus many of us were taught it’s bad manners to brag, dangerous to have a “big head.” We also may fear something bad will happen if we think good things about ourselves.

Well forget that. It’s totally, absolutely not true.

In fact, bragging - in the form of owning and celebrating your wins, your alive moments, your pivots and resiliencies - is essential for building a life of confidence and creative courage.

According to research by Harvard Professor Teresa Amabile and independent researcher Steven J. Kramer, of all the things we can do to be creatively productive over the long term, the most important is making progress in meaningful work, and even a small win can make a huge difference to seeing and feeling that progress.

But you have to acknowledge the win to take in the good and build on it.

You can’t build on what you don’t see or feel.





Here’s the key to the following prompts - record only the wins, the completed steps, the pivots, the time you didn’t lose it, the ones that matter to you. If you don’t care that you did it, don’t bother to record it.

As I look back over 2016, I am so happy I did ____________. List at least 25 things. YUP, 25. Does that make you want to skip ahead, abandon this, go watch The Crown? How badly do you want what you want in 2017? Then get crowing!

1.

2.

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I am so happy I stopped doing _________.

Sometimes this prompt is easier. I stopped drinking during the week, stopped letting my boss give me work over the weekends, stopped going to the book group I hated…





A few of the compliments, acknowledgements, “good job!” shout-outs, and kind words (emails, texts, social media shout-outs, letters) I received in 2016 were… Look back through email, ask colleagues, friends, partners. I promise you will not remember even a smidgen of the praise and acknowledgment you’ve received. Set a timer for 10 minutes and do some gathering.

If my best friend, partner/boyfriend/girlfriend, mother/father/sister, boss, co-worker were to report here what I must brag about in 2016, they would say… Extra points: write your comments first, then call or email asking the person the question, “What did you see me do or not do in 2016 I should be proud of?” Write down what they say! You will instantly forget or diminish it.

PERSON’S NAME WHAT HE /SHE WOULD SAY








The moments or instances in which I recovered, pivoted, picked myself up and dusted myself off include… The time you didn’t bite off your sister’s head, all the times you did make it to Zumba class, the time you screwed up at work and learned without falling apart or complaining for two weeks first. Write for three minutes. Think resiliency.

The moments and places where I felt most alive.... A meal, a swim in a warm ocean, a snowshoe by moonlight, a deep meditation, a girlfriend trip... Be as specific as you can. Pause and contemplate this one and come up with 10 instances. Or more.





What I did to help and support these alive moments to take place… Did you set up the trip, say yes to the snowshoe date, get yourself to the ocean? Write down how you are an agent and advocate for your own aliveness for each of your instances.





“If you don’t design your own lifeplan, chances are you’ll fall

into someone else’s plan.And guess what they

have planned for you?Not much.”― Jim Rohn





WHAT “LEARNED” METhe late great Angeles Arrien, cultural anthropologist, teacher, and writer, had a question she asked her groups - often at the end of the day - that she learned from her work in rural America.

The question was, “What’s learning you?”

I love that because it’s so odd - huh? It frames learning as a dynamic process that is happening right now, changing you right now, and it helps you see how that is happening.

What learned me in 2016? What might learn me in 2017?

Of course, learning doesn’t come cheap. Or it comes without our permission or wanting - like the learning after loss, failure, or heartbreak. In these far too plentiful instances, it’s tempting to detest the idea of anything “learning” you and to wonder, “Why is this happening to me?”

We like to figure things out. Our brains are wired to look for meaning. We like to use the word “because” a lot. We use it when we’re asking for something. We use it when we’re trying to explain something - to ourselves and others.

And we do it without even noticing we are doing it. We “because” ourselves all the time.

So, if we’re going to do it anyway, why not change what comes first? Hint: it might help with being “learnt.”

Swap out “Why is this happening TO me?” for “Why is this happening FOR me?”





What happens to the because then? It’s weird and cool so try it.

Look back at what you wrote sucked in 2016. Back on page 12.

Now, take items from that list, insert it in the blank, and then finish the sentence with the first thing that comes to mind. First thought, best thought.

I believe ______________ happened for me because…I believe ______________ happened for me because…I believe ______________ happened for me because…I believe ______________ happened for me because…I believe ______________ happened for me because…I believe ______________ happened for me because…I believe ______________ happened for me because…I believe ______________ happened for me because…I believe ______________ happened for me because…I believe ______________ happened for me because…I believe ______________ happened for me because…

Sometimes sh*t just happens. Or sometimes it doesn’t happen and we wish it had.

But, by saying that it happened to us, we place a heavy burden on ourselves. And we feed the part of our brain that loves and demands certainty, which doesn’t help us to be resilient, curious, and self-trusting.

However, when we take the sh*t that happened and flip it around by asking, “Why did this happen FOR me?”, we can create a new story.

We shine light into what might have felt frozen, fixed, or awful.





And now… for some gratitude…

Dear (insert your event #1),

Thank you for showing up when you did. Because of you I ____________________ and ______________________. Now I am learning that _____________________, and I will carry that with me each time I ____________________________ so I keep being “learnt.” Thank you so much, life, for the opportunity to keep waking up and showing up. There is so much more of me alive and in the game now.

Repeat for each significant event.





“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.”

― Pema Chödrön

“People ask, ‘What’s the best role you’ve ever played?’ The next one.” ― Kevin Kline





2017 DESIRES COME HITHER Good job clearing the way. There is a method to my madness - clearing the space, letting go, owning your wins, working with your story - it creates space for what you really want to come in and be seen. Also, you have already been claiming things you desire as we go along. I snuck that in so your desires could be heard without you totally knowing. Hee hee.

Desire is life force. To deny it or cut it off is what most of us have been taught or shamed into doing. But when we do so, we lose so much vitality, life direction, information, and simply delight.

Desires shape us, empower us, and bring us alive. We don’t create without desire - whether that is breakfast or a social movement. But our desires motivate us only when we don’t insist we get what we desire and instead learn to work with energy of desire itself rather than become fixated on the outcome.

Being in relationship with desire helps you:

• Drop belly to belly with the present moment • Recover a state of aliveness and juiciness • Recontact and pick up the thread of your life• Ground yourself in being the author of your own life and thus nurturing

deep self-trust • Receive from your world versus always giving, always extending, always

managing others • Drop the pretending - pretending not to want, pretending to want,

pretending to care, pretending not to care • Celebrate the sensuous and the animal experience of being alive





In certain ancient yogic traditions, there is a practice where the yogi sees the whole world with desire, not focusing on wanting just one object, and also feels that everything in the world desires her.

Instead of focusing on desiring one thing, you are bathed in in life force. Giving and receiving.

Why not try that right now? Desire everything around you and feel it desiring you. It can take a bit of opening and softening to get into the groove. This is not a thinking practice but an immersion in the thrum of life itself. Feel life as a cycle or tide of desire. Play for a couple of minutes.

Now keeping that feeling of desire thrumming in your body, and gently reminding yourself “it is safe to desire,” write for four minutes using the hand you don’t usually write with.

Ask the energy of desire these questions. Have a dialogue. Write the prompt, then switch hands and imagine Desire answering through your hand. Yes, you might feel silly doing this. Do it anyway. It’s four minutes out of your life. Why not play?

Desire, what do you want for me in 2017?

Desire, how can you help me when I stop short, doubt myself, run into obstacles?

Desire, what can I do when I don’t feel you at all?

Now ask desire any questions you would like. Remember to switch hands to allow desire to answer.





Make a cluster map. In the middle of a sheet of unlined paper, write the words “I want” and draw a circle around them. Now fill the whole page with words or very short phrases that represent what you want in 2017. Doodle if you can’t think of anything. Circle each new word or phrase. Let the act of association show you new desires and relationships between them.

Here’s an example:





Now go back and look at this question on page 12: What I didn’t create in 2016 that I still want to create in 2017, maybe with a twist or a refinement, includes… Are there any overlaps with what you just wrote? Maybe not the exact same words but look for echoes, similarities, or a way what you wrote for these two prompts deepen and inform each other. Write down what you find below.





Now, one of my very favorite future self explorations.

Imagine: It’s exactly one year from today. Life has been more alive, intentional, love-filled, and creative than you could imagine. It has shimmered with desire. You have lived at a pace and in a way you are so satisfied by. You have shared your genius and love-brushed your corner of the world. You and I are sitting in a coffee shop and I ask you...

“Tell me the story that helped you experience this year. What did you desire? What did you tell yourself about having those desires? What actions did you regularly take? How did you reframe or pivot when something got in the way?”

Write this story but as a letter to your future self, a set of instructions for what she needs to know. And here is exactly how I want you to do that:

1. Head over to Futureme.org. 2. Enter your email address in the to: line.3. Compose this letter to your future self. Dear Future Self, Here is what I

want you to know about 2017...4. Enter a date that’s exactly one year from today.5. Click “Send to the Future!”



https://www.futureme.org/



“I decided that the single most subversive, revolutionary thing I could do was to

show up for my life and not be ashamed.” ― Anne Lamott





THE SCARY SH*T YOU WANT TO GET DONE

Okay, now that you’ve written a new story for the year ahead and talked with desire and clustered your wants, let’s make it happen.

List ALL of the things you need to get done (aka scary sh*t, tedious shit, fun shit, I obviously like the word shit too much) in order to bring your story and your desires into reality.

Do not worry about the order. The goal is to get everything out of your head and into black and white. “Find a new board member to replace me,” “Buy 10 outfits that fit and make me feel good,” “Install Freedom (internet blocking software) on all my devices,” “Interview three people about elder care” are all examples.

Here’s where to do that…





MORE PLANNING AHEAD

What will get in my way?

What I will do that gets in my way:

The doubts that will scream in my head:

The shadow comforts that will snare me:

The time monsters that will try to eat my time:

We all pretend our future selves will not be afflicted by the same patterns and habits as our current selves. That shit won’t happen, that life won’t get in our way, that our best friend won’t get sick and need us to take care of her, that we won’t take the crappy job to make ends meet. And then, when it does and we aren’t magically a person who never checks email before she writes, let alone 25 times during, we get derailed.

Inoculate yourself now! Peer into the future and list the shit. Decline to whine, just be clear-eyed and gentle.





Choose the top 10 from all the lists above - things that happen to you and things you do to yourself - and fill this in.

When ________ happens, I will _____________.

For example, when I sit at the kitchen counter first thing and start working on email before writing, I will immediately close the computer, put on water to boil for tea, and play with the dogs while it boils.





“Until we can receive with an open heart, we’re never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment

to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving

help.” ― Brené Brown,

The Gifts of Imperfection





GATHER SUPPORT

The fiction that you can show up for your life alone, the lone wolf padding through the lodgepole pines, the brave pioneer out on the plains pulling the plow herself, the writer who toils for years in a garret alone surviving on coffee and cigs, who then produces the most brilliant book ever written…

Can I stop now?

Introvert or extrovert, you are a social animal. Period. And here’s an irony for you: so much of what runs you now (mostly unconsciously) is avoiding getting thrown out of the pack. Avoiding being ostracized. Judged.

Here’s my invite: why not use your social animal wiring to your advantage instead of as a way to curb your desires and make yourself afraid?

The support I most needed in 2016 that I did not ask for was… Ouch, I know. But see what you didn’t do so you can do it differently going forward... Or stay in the dark and do the same in 2017. Not. Go for three minutes.





The ways I ask for support that aren’t always so effective are… Here are some of mine: when the other person is already on overload; not being specific, hedging around what I really want; asking for half of what I want and the half that is least important to me; asking by email instead of on the phone or in person; asking people who are terrible at giving support. Write for three minutes.

You might find this video I made about making clear and bold requests useful if you stumble and fumble around asking for support.



http://jenniferlouden.com/making-clear-bold-requests/



The support I would most like to ask for in 2017 is _______ and I would like to ask it of _________. Fill this out seven times.

The support I most need to help me with the lists of what gets in my way is… Look over all you wrote and get specific here.





The people I can count on to love, support, and counsel me in 2017 are… I love having a list like this because when I need support I forget I know anybody. Like I live on a desert frickin island suddenly.

Each one of them brings something special to my life.

I’m grateful to ______________ for ______________________________.










“It’s never too late to bewhat you might have been.”

― George Eliot

“Real courage is when you know you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter

what.”― Harper Lee





FOLLOWING THROUGHLast summer I created a guide called “How to Follow Through on Your Creative Desire.” It was so popular and I received so much great feedback from it that I decided to turn some of the questions I posed in it into prompts you can use here to help you plan for those moments when what you want to do - and what you really want to follow through on - starts taking a backseat to old patterns, shadow comforts, and other sneaky temptations designed to keep you safe.

Whenever you’re on the verge of not following through on something you promised yourself you would, take a few moments to write from the prompt below that most calls to you.

There’s an inkling, an intuition, about what needs to shift - in my idea or my work process - that I haven’t fully settled down and listened to. I think the message I’m getting is that…

Finishing this project doesn’t say anything about my worth as a human being and yet…

I often tell myself it’s “too hard” to finish this because…

One of the ways I could scale this project and increase my chances of following through on it would be to…

Talking about my project feels __________________, but when I sit down to actually work on it, it feels…

Even though my project might not be a big deal to anyone else, it’s a big deal to





me because…

One of the things that’s keeping me from following through on my project is…

I’m stuck on this project because I’m not sure about…

My secret hope is that when I follow through and complete this project…

If I didn’t care what anyone thought of my project, I would…

Even though there’s a big part of me that wants to quit this project completely, I keep hanging on to it because…

If you’d like more support on following through on your creative desires, you can get the full guide here.



https://jenniferlouden.com/your-creative-desire/



“I was never going to becomeanything but myself.”

― Patti Smith

“Give yourself unconditionalpermission to be great.”

― Jennifer Louden





PERMISSION TO SURPRISE YOURSELF IN 2017I rejected big dreams because they hurt me and drained me of energy, because they weren’t mine and were too big to achieve in a lifetime. Instead, I embraced incremental, realistic tools and I got more done, made more money, and had more impact. But in rejecting bigness, I also rejected finding my own form of greatness. I got too small, too realistic.

You need both. You need to open up to the truth that you are so much more than you consciously know and you always have capacities that you have yet to tap. And that effective life planning tools, support, and ways to begin again when you stumble are essential. Yes and.

I know, from working with tens of thousands of women, that there is so much goodness, insight, and beauty in you that only you can bring to the world. Stories that only you can tell. I know you don’t always see that in yourself and that you sometimes stop short before the miracle happens. We all do.

But this year, why not declare it’s time for your desires to become miracles? It’s time for your world to be loved into beauty and wholeness the way only you can.

It’s 2017: it’s time.





About JenJennifer Louden is a personal growth pioneer who helped launch the self-care movement with her first book, The Woman’s Comfort Book. She’s the author of 6 additional books on well-being and whole living: The Couple’s Comfort Book, The Pregnant Woman’s Comfort Book, The Woman’s Retreat Book, Comfort Secrets for Busy Women (The Comfort Queen’s Guide to Life in hardcover), The Life Organizer, and A Year of Daily Joy. There are about a million copies of her books in print in 9 languages.

Jennifer has spoken around the U.S., Canada and Europe, written a national magazine column for a Martha Stewart magazine, been profiled or quoted in dozens of major magazines, and appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, even on Oprah. Jennifer has been teaching retreats and leading workshops since 1992, and creating vibrant online communities and innovative learning experiences since 2000. She married her second husband at 50, and is the very proud mom of Lillian and very proud bonus mom to Aidan.





What’s Next?If you loved this or it served you or tickled in some way, I would be honored if you’d share it with the creative women in your life.

POST: I just completed @jenlouden’s “Your 2017 Guide for Getting Your Scary Sh*t Done, Following Through on Your Creative Desires & Showing Up for Your Life” & I LOVED it. jenniferlouden.com/2017-guide

POST: I declare 2017 the year I get my scary sh*t done, and as @jenlouden says, “surprise the living heck out of myself.” Delicious and free at-home retreat waiting for you here. jenniferlouden.com/2017-guide

Retreat with MeWant to give yourself the time, energy, and space you need to start or finish your creative project? Retreat with me.



http://www.jenniferlouden.com/2017-guide

http://www.jenniferlouden.com/2017-guide

https://jenniferlouden.com/workshops-retreats/

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