Young Girl Dairy

8/9/2019 Young Girl Dairy

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******The Project Gutenberg Etext of A Young Girl's Diary******Prefaced with a Letter by ig!und "reud

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A Young Girl's Diary

Prefaced with a Letter by Sigmund Freud

December, 1! "#te$t %&()

******The Project Gutenberg Etext of A Young Girl's Diary***********This file should be na!ed ygdsf/3)txt or ygdsf/3)4i$******

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A Young Girl's DiaryPrefaced with a Letter by

ig!und "reudTranslated by

Eden and #edar Paul

#56TE6T

"2,T YEA, Age // to />E#56D YEA, Age /> to /=


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T.2,D YEA, Age /= to /ILAT .AL":YEA, Age /I to /I /N>

#56#L7256

P,E"A#E

T.E best $reface to this journal written by a younggirl belonging to the u$$er !iddle class is a letterby ig!und "reud dated A$ril >1& /0/


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in the docu!ent) #onseuently& surna!es& #hristianna!es& and na!es of $laces& ha%e been changed)

These !odifications ha%e enabled the original authorof the diary to allow !e to $lace it at the free dis$osal

of serious readers)

6o atte!$t has been !ade to correct trifling faultsin gra!!ar and other inelegancies of style) "or the

!ost $art& these !ust not be regarded as the ex$ressionof a child's inca$acity for the control of language)

,ather !ust they be looed u$on as !anifestations ofaffecti%e trends& as errors in functioning brought

about by the influence of the 7nconscious)

T.E ED2T5,)+2E66A& UAutu!nU& /0/0)

"2,T YEA,AGE ELE+E6 T5 TEL+E

"2,T YEA,

Quly />& /0 ) ) ) .ella and 2 are writing a diary)e both agreed that when we went to the high school

we would write a diary e%ery day) Dora ee$s adiary too& but she gets furious if 2 loo at it) 2 call

.elene M.ella&M and she calls !e M,itaRM .elene andGrete are so %ulgar) Dora has taen to calling herself

MThea&M but 2 go on calling her MDora)M he saysthat little children Fshe !eans !e and .ella oughtnot to ee$ a diary) he says they will write such alot of nonsense) 6o !ore than in hers and Li44i's)

Quly /=th) ,eally we were not to begin writinguntil after the holidays& but since we are both goingaway& we are beginning now) Then we shall now

what we ha%e been doing in the holidays)

The day before yesterday we had an entranceexa!ination& it was %ery easy& in dictation 2 !ade

only / !istae::writing UihnU without UhU) The !istress


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said that didn't !atter& 2 had only !ade a sli$) Thatis uite true& for 2 now well enough that UihnU has

an UhU in it) e were both dressed in white with rose:coloured ribbons& and e%eryone belie%ed we weresisters or at least cousins) 2t would be %ery nice to

ha%e a cousin) -ut it's still nicer to ha%e a friend&for we can tell one another e%erything)

Quly /Ith) The !istress was %ery ind) -ecauseof her .ella and 2 are really sorry that we are notgoing to a !iddle school) Then e%ery day before

lessons began we could ha%e had a tal with her inthe class:roo!) -ut we're awfully $leased becauseof the other girls) 5ne is !ore i!$ortant when one

goes to the high school instead of only to the !iddleschool) That is why the girls are in such a rage)

MThey are bursting with $rideM Fthat's what !ysister says of !e and .ella& but it is not true) M5urtwo studentsM said the !istress when we ca!e away)he told us to write to her fro! the country) 2 shall)

Quly /


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out of the front %eranda) 2 won't ha%e it) -esides&"ather saidC MDon't uarrel& children(M FU#hildrenUto UherU too( ( .e's uite right) he $uts on suchairs because she'll be fourteen in 5ctober) MThe%erandas are co!!on $ro$erty&M said "ather)

"ather's always so just) .e ne%er lets Dora lordit o%er !e& but 8other often !aes a fa%ourite ofDora) 2'! writing to .ella to:day) he's not written

to !e yet)

Quly >/st) .ella has written to !e& I $ages& andsuch a jolly letter) 2 don't now what 2 should do

without her( Perha$s she will co!e here in Augustor $erha$s 2 shall go to stay with her) 2 thin 2

would rather go to stay with her) 2 lie $aying long%isits) "ather saidC Me'll see&M and that !eans

he'll let !e go) hen "ather and 8other say e'llsee it really !eans YesR but they won't say MyesMso that if it does not co!e off one can't say that they

ha%en't e$t their word) "ather really lets !e doanything 2 lie& but not 8other) till& if 2 $ractice

!y $iano regularly $erha$s she'll let !e go) 2 !ustgo for a wal)

Quly >>nd) .ella wrote that 2 $ositi%ely !ustwrite e%ery day& for one !ust ee$ a $ro!ise and we

swore to write e%ery day) 2) ) ) )

Quly >=rd) 2t's awful) 5ne has no ti!e) Yesterdaywhen 2 wanted to write the roo! had to be cleaned

and D) was in the arbour) -efore that 2 had notwritten a UsingleU word and in the front %eranda all

!y $ages blew away) e write on loose $ages) .ellathins it's better because then one does not ha%e to

tear anything out) -ut we ha%e $ro!ised one anotherto throw nothing away and not to tear anything u$)hy should we 5ne can tell a friend e%erything)A $retty friend if one couldn't) Yesterday when 2wanted to go into the arbour Dora glared at !esa%agely& saying hat do you want As if the

arbour belonged to her& just as she wanted to bagthe front %eranda all for herself) he's too sicening)

Yesterday afternoon we were on the 9olber:9ogel)2t was lo%ely) "ather was awfully jolly and we

$elted one another with $ine:cones) 2t was jolly)


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2 threw one at Dora and it hit her on her $added bust)he let out such a yell and 2 said out loud You couldn'tfeel it UthereU) As she went by she said Pig( 2t doesn't!atter& for 2 now she understood !e and that what

2 said was true) 2 should lie to now what UsheU writes

about e%ery day to Eria and what she writesin her diary) 8other was out of sorts and stayed atho!e)

Quly >Ith) To:day is unday) 2 do lo%e undays)"ather saysC You children ha%e undays e%ery day)

That's uite true in the holidays& but not at otherti!es) The $easants and their wi%es and children

are all %ery gay& wearing Tyrolese dresses& just liethose 2 ha%e seen in the theatre) e are wearing

our white dresses to:day& and 2 ha%e !ade a great

cherrystain u$on !ine& not on $ur$ose& but because2 sat down u$on so!e fallen cherries) o this afternoonwhen we go out waling 2 !ust wear !y $in

dress) All the better& for 2 don't care to be dressedexactly the sa!e as Dora) 2 don't see why e%eryone

should now that we are sisters) Let $eo$le thin weare cousins) he does not lie it eitherR 2 wish 2

new why)

5swald is co!ing in a wee& and 2 a! awfully$leased) .e is older than Dora& but 2 can always get

on with hi!) .ella writes that she finds it dull without!eR so do 2)

Quly >


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!o!ent) 2t's $robably 9rail ,udi& with who! sheis e%erlastingly $laying tennis and carries on lie

anything) As for handso!e::well& there's no accountingfor tastes)

Quly >?th) 2t's a good thing 2 brought !y dolls'$ort!anteau) 8other saidC You'll be glad to ha%eit on rainy days) 5f course 2'! !uch too old to $laywith dolls& but e%en though 2'! // 2 can !ae dolls'

clothes still) 5ne learns so!ething while one is doingit& and when 2'%e finished so!ething 2 do enjoy it so)

8other cut !e out so!e things and 2 was tacingthe! together) Then Dora ca!e into the roo! andsaid .ullo& the child is sewing things for her dolls)hat chee& as if she had ne%er $layed with dolls)-esides& 2 don't really $lay with dolls any longer)

hen she sat down beside !e 2 sewed so %igorouslythat 2 !ade a great scratch on her hand& and saidC5h& 2'! so sorry& but you ca!e too close) 2 ho$eshe'll now why 2 really did it) 5f course she'llgo and snea to 8other) Let her) hat right has

she to call !e child) he's got a fine red scratch anyhow&and on her right hand where e%eryone can see)

Quly >1th) There's such a lot of fruit here) 2eat ras$berries and gooseberries all day and 8othersays that is why 2 ha%e no a$$etite for dinner) -utDr) 9lein always says "ruit is so wholeso!e) -utwhy should it be unwholeso!e all at once .ellaalways says that when one lies anything awfully!uch one is always scolded about it until one gets

$erfectly sic of it) .ella often gets in such a te!$erwith her !other& and then her !other saysC e

!ae such sacrifices for our children and they rewardus with ingratitude) 2 should lie to now what

sacrifices they !ae) 2 thin it's the children who!ae the sacrifices) hen 2 want to eat gooseberries

and a! not allowed to& the sacrifice is U!ineU notU8other'sU) 2'%e written all this to .ella) "rauleinPrucl has written to !e) The address on her letter

to !e was s$lendid& M"raulein Grete Lainer&Ly4ealschulerin)M 5f course Dora had to now better than

anyone else& and said that in the higher classes fro!the fourth u$wards Fbecause she is in the fourththey write MLy4eistin)M he saidC MAnyhow& in theholidays& before a girl has attended the first class


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she's not a Ly4ealschulerin at all)M Then "atherchi$$ed in& saying that UweU FU2U didn't begin it really

!ust sto$ this eternal wranglingR he really couldnot stand it) .e's uite right& but what he said

won't do any good& for Dora will go on just the sa!e)

"raulein Prucl wrote that she was UdelightedU that 2had written) As soon as 2 ha%e ti!e she wants !eto write to her again) Great cott& 2'%e always ti!e

for UherU) 2 shall write to her again this e%ening aftersu$$er& so as not to ee$ her waiting)

Quly >0th) 2 si!$ly could not write yesterday)The arths ha%e arri%ed& and 2 had to s$end the

whole day with Erna and Liesel& although it rainedall day) e had a ri$$ing ti!e) They now a lotof round ga!es and we $layed for sweets) 2 won

I1& and 2 ga%e fi%e of the! to Dora) ,obert is already!ore than a head taller than we are& 2 !ean thanLiesel and !eR 2 thin he is fifteen) .e says "raulein

Grete and carried !y cloa which 8other sent !e becauseof the rain and he saw !e ho!e after su$$er)

To:!orrow is !y birthday and e%eryone has beenin%ited and 8other has !ade strawberry crea! and

waffles) .ow s$iffing)

Quly =3th) To:day is !y birthday) "ather ga%e!e a s$lendid $arasol with a flowered border and

$ainting !aterials and 8other ga%e !e a huge $ostcardalbu! for ;33 cards and stories for school girls&

and Dora ga%e !e a beautiful box of note$a$er and8other had !ade a chocolate:crea! cae for dinner

to:day as well as the strawberry crea!) The firstthing in the !orning the arths sent !e three birthday

cards) And ,obert had written on hisC ithdee$est Ures$ect your faithful ,U) 2t is glorious to ha%e

a birthday& e%eryone is so ind& e%en Dora) 5swaldsent !e a wooden $a$er:nife& the handle is a dragonand the blade shoots out of its !outh instead of fla!eR

or $erha$s the blade is its tongue& one can't be uitesure) 2t has not rained yet on !y birthday) "athersays 2 was born under a lucy star) That suits !e

all right& ti$ to$)

Quly =/st) Yesterday was hea%enly) e laughedtill our sides ached o%er #onseuences) 2 was always


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being cou$led with ,obert and oh the things we didtogether& not really of course but only in writingCissed& hugged& lost in the forest& bathed togetherRbut 2 say& 2 wouldn't do Uthat(U uarrelled) That

won't ha$$en& it's uite i!$ossible( Then we dran

!y health clining glasses fi%e ti!es and ,obertwanted to drin it in wine but Dora said that wouldne%er do( The real trouble was this) he always

gets furious if she has to $lay second fiddle to !eand yesterday 2 was certainly first fiddle)

6ow 2 !ust write a word about to:day) e'%ehad a s$lendid ti!e) e were in Tiefengraben with

the arths where there are such a lot of wild strawberries),obert $iced all the best of the! for !e&

to the great annoyance of Dora who had to $ic

the! for herself) ,eally 2 would rather $ic the! for!yself& but when so!e one else $ics the! for onefor Ulo%eU Fthat's what ,obert said then one is uite

glad to ha%e the! $iced for one) -esides& 2 did$ic so!e !yself and ga%e !ost of the! to "ather

and so!e to 8other) At afternoon tea which wehad in "lischberg 2 had to sit beside Erna insteadof ,obert) Erna is rather dull) 8other says she is

Uane!icUR that sounds frightfully interesting& but 2don't uite now what it !eans) Dora is always

saying that she is ane!ic& but of course that is nottrue) And "ather always says MDon't tal such stuff&

you're as fit as a fiddle)M That $uts her in such awax) Last year Li44i was really ane!ic& so the doctor

said& she was always ha%ing $al$itation and had totae iron and drin -urgundy) 2 thin that's where

Dora got the idea)

August /st) .ella is rather cross with !e because2 wrote and told her that 2 had s$ent the whole daywith the 's) till& she is really !y only friend or2 should not ha%e written and told her) E%ery yearin the country she has another friend too& but that

doesn't $ut !e out) 2 can't understand why shedoesn't lie ,obertR she doesn't now anything about

hi! exce$t what 2 ha%e written and certainly thatwas nothing but good) 5f course she does now hi!

for he is a cousin of the ernigs and she !et hi! oncethere) -ut one does not get to now a $erson fro!seeing the! once) Anyhow she does not now hi!


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the way 2 do) Yesterday 2 was with the arthsall day) e $layed Place for the 9ing and ,obertcaught !e and 2 had to gi%e hi! a iss) And Erna

said& that doesn't count& for 2 had let !yself be caught)-ut ,obert got sa%age and saidC Erna is a $erfect

nuisance& she s$oils e%eryone's $leasure) .e's uiteright& but there's so!e one else just as bad) -ut 2do ho$e Erna has not told Dora about the iss) 2f

she has e%eryone will now and 2 shouldn't lie that)2 lay in wait for Erna with the sweets which AuntDora sent us) ,obert and Liesel and 2 ate the rest)They were so good and nearly all large ones) Atfirst ,obert wanted to tae uite a little one& but2 said he !ust only ha%e a big one) After that he

always $iced out the big ones) hen 2 ca!e ho!ein the e%ening with the e!$ty box "ather laughed

and saidC There's nothing !ean about our Gretel)-esides& 8other still has a great box fullR 2 ha%e noidea whether Dora still has a lot& but 2 ex$ect so)

August >nd) 5swald arri%ed this afternoon at


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#4ech it's screa!ingly funny)

August =rd) 2 got a chill bathing the other dayso now 2 a! not allowed to bathe for a few days)

,obert ee$s !e co!$any) e are uite alone and

he tells !e all sorts of tales) .e swings !e so highthat 2 $ositi%ely yell) To:day he !ade !e reallyangry& for he saidC 5swald is a regular noodle) 2

said& that's not true& boys can ne%er stand one another)-esides& it is not true that he lis$s) Anyhow 2

lie 5swald !uch better than Dora who always saysMthe childrenM when she is taling of !e and of .ella

and e%en of ,obert) Then he saidC Dora is just asbig a goose as Erna) .e's uite right there) ,obertsays he is ne%er going to s!oe& that it is so %ulgar&that real gentle!en ne%er s!oe) -ut what about

"ather& 2 should lie to now .e says& too& that hewill ne%er grow a beard but will sha%e e%ery day andhis wife will ha%e to $ut e%erything straight to hi!)

-ut a beard suits "ather and 2 can't i!agine hi!without a beard) 2 now 2 won't !arry a !an without

a beard)

August


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about Dora) 5swald told "ather that she flirtedso at the tennis court and he could not stand it)

"ather was in a towering rage and now we !ayn't$lay tennis any !ore) hat u$set her !ore thananything was that "ather said in front of !eC This

little chit of /I is already encouraging $eo$le to !aelo%e to her) .er eyes were uite red and swollenand she couldn't eat anything at su$$er because she

had such a Uheadache((U e now all about her headaches)-ut 2 really can't see why 2 shouldn't go and

$lay tennis)

August ;th) 5swald says that it wasn't thestudent's fault at all but only Dora's) 2 can uite

belie%e that when 2 thin of that ti!e on the outhern,ailway) till& they won't let !e $lay tennis any

!ore& though 2 begged and begged 8other to as"ather to let !e) he said it would do no good for"ather was %ery angry and 2 !ustn't s$end whole

days with the arths any !ore) hole days( 2should lie to now when 2 was a whole day there)hen 2 went there naturally 2 had to stay to dinner

at least) hat ha%e 2 got to do with Dora's lo%eaffairs 2t's really too absurd) -ut grown:u$s are

always lie that) hen one $erson has done anythingthe others ha%e to $ay for it too)

August 0th) Than goodness& 2 can $lay tennisonce !oreR 2 begged and begged until "ather let !e

go) Dora declares that nothing will induce her to as(That's the old story of the fox and the gra$es) he

has been $laying the in%alid lately& won't bathe& andstays at ho!e when she can instead of going for

wals) 2 should lie to now what's the !atter withher) hat 2 can't !ae out is why "ather lets her

do it) As for 8other& she always s$oils DoraR Dorais 8other's fa%ourite& es$ecially when 5swald is not

on hand) 2 can understand her !aing a fa%ouriteof 5swald& but not of Dora) "ather always says

that $arents ha%e no fa%ourites& but treat all theirchildren alie) That's true enough as far as "atheris concerned& although Dora declares that "ather

!aes a fa%ourite of !eR but that's only her fancy)At #hrist!as and other ti!es we always get the sa!e

sort of $resents& and that's the real test) ,osa Planalways gets at least three ti!es as !uch as the rest


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of the fa!ily& that's what it is to be a fa%ourite)

August />th) 2 can't write e%ery day for 2 s$end!ost of !y ti!e with the arths) 5swald can't

stand ,obert& he says he is a cad and a greenhorn)

hat %ulgar $hrases) "or three days 2 ha%en'ts$oen to 5swald exce$t when 2 really had to) hen2 told Erna and Liesel about it& they said that brothers

were always rude to their sisters) 2 said& 2 shouldlie to now why) -esides& ,obert is generally %ery

nice to his sisters) They said& Yes before you& becausehe's on his best beha%iour with you) Yesterday we

laughed lie anything when he told us what fun theboys !ae of their !asters) That story about the

cigarette ends was screa!ingly funny) They ha%e asociety called T) Au) 8)& that is in Latin -e ilent

or Die in initial letters) 6o one !ay betray thesociety's secrets& and when they !ae a new !e!berhe has to stri$ off all his clothes and lie down naedand e%ery one s$its on his chest and rubs it and saysC

-e 5ne of 7s& but all in Latin) Then he has to goto the eldest and biggest who gi%es hi! two or three

cuts with a cane and he has to swear that he willne%er betray anyone) Then e%eryone s!oes a cigar

and touches hi! with the lighted end on the ar!or so!ewhere and saysC E%ery act of treachery willburn you lie that) And then the eldest& who hasa s$ecial na!e which 2 can't re!e!ber& tattoos onhi! the word Tau!& that is -e ilent or Die& and aheart with the na!e of a girl) ,obert says that ifhe had nown !e sooner he would ha%e chosen

MGretchen)M 2 ased hi! what na!e he had tattooedon hi!& but he said he was not allowed to tell) 2

shall tell 5swald to loo when they are bathing andto tell !e) 2n this society they abuse the !asters

frightfully and the one who thins of the best tricsto $lay on the! is elected to the ,ohonR to be a

,ohon is a great distinction and the others !ust alwayscarry out his orders) .e said there was a lot

!ore which he couldn't tell !e because it's tootre!endous) Then 2 had to swear that 2 would ne%er

tell anyone about the society and he wanted !e to taethe oath u$on !y nees& but 2 wouldn't do that andhe nearly forced !e to !y nees) 2n the end 2 hadto gi%e hi! !y hand on it and a iss) 2 didn't !indgi%ing hi! that& for a iss is nothing& but nothing


19/220

would induce !e to neel down) till& 2 was in anawful fright& for we were uite alone in the gardenand he too !e by the throat and tried to force !e

to !y nees) All that about the UsocietyU he told !ewhen we were uite alone for he saidC 2 can't ha%e

your na!e tattooed on !e because it's against ourlaws to ha%e two na!es but now that you ha%e sworn2 can let you now what 2 really a! and thin in

secret)

2 couldn't slee$ all night for 2 e$t on drea!ingof the society& wondering whether there are such

societies in the high school and whether Dora is ina society and has a na!e tattooed on her) -ut it

would be horrible to ha%e to stri$ naed before allone's schoolfellows) Perha$s in the societies of the

high:school girls that $art is left out) -ut 2 shouldn'tlie to say for sure whether 2'd ha%e ,obert's na!etattooed on !e)

August /


20/220

They fired salutes fro! the hills and there were beaconsflaring on the hill:to$sR it was rather cree$y although

it was wonderful) 8y teeth chattered once ortwice& 2 don't now whether 2 was afraid so!ething

would ha$$en or why it was) Then ,) ca!e and

taled such a lot) .e is set on going into the ar!y)"or that he needn't learn so !uch& and what he's learningnow is of no use to hi!) .e says that doesn't

!atter& that nowledge will gi%e hi! a great $ull) 2don't thin he loos stu$id& though 5swald says so to!ae !e angry) All at once we found oursel%es uiteaway fro! the others and so we sat on a bench to waitfor the!) Then 2 ased ,) once !ore about the othersocieties& the ones in which they do such i!$ro$er

things) -ut he wouldn't tell !e for he said he wouldnot rob !e of !y innocence) 2 thought that %ery

stu$id& and 2 said that $erha$s he didn't now hi!selfand it was all $ut on) All that ha$$ened& he said&was that anyone who joined the society was ticleduntil he couldn't stand it any longer) And once one

of the! got t) +itus's dance& that is frightfulcon%ulsions and they were afraid that e%erything would

co!e out) And since then in their society no !oreticling had been allowed) hall 2 ticle you a little

2 don't understand you& 2 said& and anyhow youdaren't)

.e ga%e a great laugh and suddenly he sei4ed !eand ticled !e under the ar!) 2t !ade !e want tolaugh frightfully& but 2 stifled it for there were still

lots of $eo$le going by) o he ga%e that u$ andticled !y hand) 2 lied it at first& but then 2 got

angry and dragged !y hand away) Qust then 2ns$eewent by with two other girls and directly they had

$assed us we followed close behind as if we had beenwaling lie that all the ti!e) 2t sa%ed !e a wigging

fro! 8other& for she always wants us all to ee$ together)As we went along ,) saidC Loo out& Gretel&

2'! going to ticle you so!e day until you screa!)::.ow absurd& 2 won't ha%e it& it taes two to do that)

-y the way& in the raffle 2 won a %ase with >turtledo%es and a bag of sweets and ,) won a nife& for

and s$oon) That annoyed hi! frightfully) 2ns$eewon a fountain $en& just what 2 want& and a !irrorwhich !aes one loo a $erfect fright) A good job


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too& for she fancies herself such a lot)

August >0th) 5 dear& such an awful thing hasha$$ened) 2 ha%e lost $ages =3 to =I fro! !y diary)2 !ust ha%e left the! in the garden& or else on the

Louisenhohe) 2t's $ositi%ely fiendish) 2f anyone wasto find the!) And 2 don't now exactly what therewas on those $ages) 2 was born to ill luc) 2f 2

hadn't $ro!ised .ella to write !y diary e%ery day2 should lie to gi%e u$ the whole thing) "ancy if8other were to get hold of it& or e%en "ather) Andit's raining so fearfully to:day that 2 can't e%en go

into the garden and still less on the Louisenhohe abo%eall not alone) 2 !ust ha%e lost it the day before yesterday&

for 2 didn't write anything yesterday or theday before) 2t would be dreadful if anyone were to

find it) 2 a! so !uch u$set that 2 couldn't eat anythingat dinner& although we had !y fa%ouritechocolate crea! cae) And 2'! so unha$$y for "ather

was uite anxious and 8other too and they bothased what was the !atter with !e and 2 nearly

burst out crying before e%eryone) e had dinner inthe hotel to:day because ,esi had gone away for >days) -ut 2 couldn't cry in the roo! before "ather

and 8other for that would ha%e gi%en the show away)8y only ho$e is that no one will recognise !y writing&

for .ella and 2 use u$right writing for our diary&first of all so that no one !ay recognise our writingand secondly because u$right writing doesn't use u$

so !uch $a$er as ordinary writing) 2 do ho$e itwill be fine to:!orrow so that 2 can hunt in the garden

%ery early) 2 ha%e been utterly in the du!$s all dayso that 2 didn't e%en get cross when 2ns$ee saidC

M.a%e you been uarrelling with your future husbandM

August =3th) 2t's not in the garden) 2 begged8other to let us go to Louisenhutte this afternoon)8other was awfully nice and ased what 2 was so

worried about& and whether anything had ha$$ened)Then 2 couldn't ee$ it in any longer and burst outcrying) 8other said 2 !ust ha%e lost so!ething&

and this ga%e !e an awful fright) 8other thoughtit was .ella's letter& the one which ca!e on Tuesday&

so 2 saidC 6o& !uch worse than that& !y diary)8other saidC 5h well& that's not such a terrible loss&and will be of no interest to anyone) 5h yes& 2 said&


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for there are all sorts of things written in it about,) and his society) Loo here& Gretel& said 8other&2 don't lie this way you tal about ,)R 2 really don't

lie you to s$end all your ti!e with the arthsRthey're really not our sort and ,) is not a fit

co!$anion for youR now that you are going to the highschool you are not a little girl any longer) Pro!ise!e that you'll not be eternally with the arths)::All

right& 8other& 2 will brea it off gradually so thatnobody will notice) he burst out laughing and issed!e on both chees and $ro!ised !e to say nothing

to 2ns$ee about the diary for she needn't now e%erything)8other is such a dear) till = hours and

$erha$s the $ages are still there)

E%ening) Than goodness( 2n front of the shelter

2 found > $ages all $ul$ed by the rain and the writingall run and one $age was in the foot$ath uite torn)o!eone !ust ha%e trodden on it with the heel of

his boot and > $ages had been rolled into a s$ill and$artly burned) o no one had read anything) 2 a!

so ha$$y) And at su$$er "ather saidC 2 say& whyare your eyes shining with delight .a%e you wonthe big $ri4e in the lottery and 2 $ressed 8other'sfoot with !ine to re!ind her not to gi%e !e awayand "ather laughed lie anything and saidC ee!sto !e there's a cons$iracy against !e in !y ownhouse) And 2 said in a great hurryC Lucily we'renot in our own house but in a hotel& and e%eryonelaughed and now than goodness it's all o%er) Li%e

and learn) 2 won't let that ha$$en again)

August =/st) ,eally 2'! not so !uch with the 'sand with ,) 2 thin he's offended) This afternoon&

when 2 went there to tea& he sei4ed !e by the wristand saidC Your father is right& you're a witch) MYouneed a castigation)M .ow rude of hi!) -esides& 2

didn't now what castigation !eant) 2 ased "atherand he told !e and ased where 2 had $iced u$ theword) 2 said 2 had $assed > gentle!en and had heard

one of the! use it) hat 2 really thought was thatcastigation !eant ticling) -ut it is really horrid to

ha%e no one to tal to) 8ost of the $eo$le ha%e gonealready and we ha%e only a wee longer) About thatcastigation business) 2 don't lie fibbing to "ather&

but 2 really had to) 2 couldn't say that ,) wanted to


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gi%e !e a castigation when 2 didn't now what it!eant) Dora tells a lot !ore lies than 2 do and 2

always lo%e catching her in a lie for her lies are soob%ious) 2'! ne%er caught) 2t only ha$$ened once

when "rau 5berst %on tary was there) "ather

noticed that ti!e& for he saidC You little rogue& youtarradiddler(

e$te!ber =rd) uch a horrid thing has ha$$ened)2 shall ne%er s$ea to ,) again) 5swald is uite

right in calling hi! a cad) 2f 2 had really fallen outof the swing 2 !ight ha%e broen !y leg I days before

we ha%e to start fro! ho!e) 2 can't !ae out howit all ha$$ened) 2t was frightful chee of hi! to

ticle !e as he did& and 2 ga%e hi! such a ic) 2thin it was on his nose or his !outh) Then he

actually dared to sayC After all 2'! well $aid out&for what can one ex$ect when one ee$s co!$anywith such young !oneys& with such babies) "inetal fro! hi! when he's not /I hi!self yet) 2t wasall hu!bug about his being /< and he see!s to beone of the idlest boys in the school& ne%er anythingbut atisfactory in his re$orts& and he's not in the

fifth yet& but only in the fourth) Anyhow& we'%esettled our accounts) #heey de%il) 2 shall ne%ertell anyone about it& it will be !y first and 2 ho$e

!y last secret fro! .ella)

e$te!ber ?th) e are going ho!e to:!orrow)The last few days ha%e been awfully dull) 2 saw

,) once or twice but 2 always looed the other way)"ather ased what was wrong between !e and the

arths and ,)& so that our great friendshi$ had beenbroen off) 5f course 2 had to fib& for it was absolutely

Ui!$ossibleU to tell the truth) 2 said that ,) foundfault with e%erything 2 did& !y writing& !y reading

aloud) FThat's uite true& he did that once and"ather saidC ell& well& you'll !ae it u$ when you

say goodbye to:!orrow) "ather !aes a great !istae)2'll ne%er s$ea a word to hi! again)

"or her birthday& although it's not co!e yet& Dorais to ha%e a na%y blue sil dustcloa) 2 don't thin

the colour suits her& and anyhow she's !uch too thinto wear a dustcloa)


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e$te!ber /Ith) .ella ca!e bac the day beforeyesterday) he loos s$lendid and she says 2 do

too) 2'! so glad that she's bac) After all 2 told herabout ,) he was %ery angry and said 2 ought toha%e gi%en hi! > !oreR one for the ticling and

one for the MbabyM and one for the Myoung !oney)M2f we should ha$$en to !eet hi!& shan't we just glareat hi!)

e$te!ber /1th) 2ns$ee has really got the sildustcloa but 2 thin the tartan hood loos rathersilly) till& 2 didn't say so& but only that the cloafitted beautifully) he has tried it on at least fi%eti!es already) 2 don't now whether "ather reallywants to treat her as a grown:u$ lady or whether

he is !aing fun of her) 2 belie%e he's only !aing

fun) he doesn't really loo lie a grown:u$ lady).ow could she when she's not /I yet Yesterdayafternoon such a lot of girls were in%ited& and of

course .ella was in%ited on !y account and we hada grand tal) -ut !ost of the! bragged frightfully

about the country where they UsaidU they had been) ewere 0 girls) -ut .ella is the only one 2 care about)

e$te!ber >/st) chool begins to:!orrow) -y theway& we ha%e agreed to call it Li4 Ly4eu! K .igh

chool and not chool) 2'! frightfully curious)

e$te!ber >>nd& /0::) chool began to:day) .ellaca!e to fetch !e and we went along together) 2ns$ee$eached on us to 8other& saying we ran on in front

of her) e don't want her as go%erness) Thereare =I of us in the class) 5ur teachers are a "rauDotor& > !istresses& one $rofessor& and 2 thin a

drawing !istress as well) The "rau Dotor teachesGer!an and writing) he $ut us together on the

=rd bench) Then she !ade a s$eech& then she toldus what boos to get& but we are not to buy the!till 8onday) e ha%e = inter%als& one long and >short) The long one is for ga!es& the short ones

to go out) 2 usen't to go out at the ele!entary schooland now 2 don't need to) 8other always says thatit's only a bad habit) 8ost of the girls went out&

and e%en ased to lea%e the roo! during lesson ti!e)To:day we hadn't any $ro$er lessons) They are tobegin to:!orrow& but we don't now what) Then


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we ca!e ho!e)

e$te!ber >=rd) To:day we had the !istress whoteaches geogra$hy and history& she has no degree)

2ns$ee says that she had her last year& but she could

not stand her& she's so ugly) "ather was angry andsaid to 2ns$eeC You silly goose& don't fill her headwith such stuff) how what you are worth as elder

sister) 5ne can learn so!ething fro! e%ery !istressand e%ery !aster if one lies) -ut 2 can't say& we're

really fond of "raulein +ischer and 2 don't !uchcare for geogra$hy and history) -esides 2'! not

learning for her but for !yself) "rau Dr) 8allburgis awfully nice and $retty) e shall always write"rau Dr) 8) for short) hen she laughs she has

two di!$les and a gold sto$$ing) he is new at the

school) 2 don't now if we are to ha%e singing too)2n "rench we ha%e 8ada!e Arnau& she is beautifullydressed& blac lace) .ella has a lo%ely $en and

$encil caseR it's uite soft& we !ust ha%e it soft sothat it shan't !ae a row when it falls down duringlesson ti!e) 2 thin it cost 1 crowns or /)13 crowns&2 don't now exactly) To:day lessons went on until/>& first Ger!an& then arith!etic& then religion for#atholics& and then we ca!e away) .ella waited

for !e& for the .err Pastor did not co!e)

e$te!ber >Ith) e thought the boo sho$s wouldbe o$en to:day but we were wrong) .ella's !other

said& that's what ha$$ens when the chics thinthe!sel%es wiser than the hens) 2n the afternoon

.ella ca!e to our house and 2ns$ee had been in%itedby the "s) 2 don't go there& for it's so dull& they

$lay the $iano all day) 2 ha%e enough $iano at !ylessons) 8y !usic lessons will begin when the schoolti!e:table has been fixed u$) Perha$s on 5ctober /st&

then 2 !ust write to "rau -)& she told !e to write!yself) he tells all her $u$ils to do that) 2 wouldrather ha%e had .ella's !usic !istress) -ut she

has no ti!e to s$are and 2 thin she charges !ore)At least she wouldn't always be holding !e u$M"raulein DoraM as a !odel) e are not all so

!usical as "raulein Dora) 2n the e%ening 2ns$eewas reading a great fat boo until /3 or /> o clocand she si!$ly howled o%er it) he said she hadnot& but 2 heard her and she could hardly s$ea)


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he says she had a cold& liar)

e$te!ber >?th) To:day we had Professor ,iegelfor the first ti!e in natural history) .e wears eye:glasses and ne%er loos any of us in the face) Andin "rench 8ada!e A) said that !y accent was thebest) e'%e got an awful lot on and 2 don't now

whether 2 shall be able to write e%ery day) Theyounger girls say Professor 2gel instead of ,iegel

and the ein!ann girl said 6iel)

e$te!ber =3th) 2'%e had si!$ly no ti!e to write).ella hasn't written anything since the >Ith) -ut

2 !ust write to:day for 2 !et ,obert in chottengasse)Good !orning& 8iss& you needn't be so stuc

u$& he said as he went by) And when 2 turned roundhe had already $assed& or 2 would ha%e gi%en hi! a

$iece of !y !ind) 2 !ust go to su$$er


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5ctober /st) 2 can't write& 5swald has co!e fro!)& he has s$rained his anle& but 2'! not so sure

because he can get about) .e is awfully $ale anddoesn't say a word about the $ain)

5ctober Ith) To:day is a holiday& the e!$eror'sbirthday) Yesterday ,esi told !e so!ething horrid)5swald can't go bac to ) .e has been u$ to so!ething&

2 wish 2 new what& $erha$s so!ething in thecloset) .e always stays there such a long ti!e& 2

noticed that when 2 was in the country) 5r $erha$sit !ay ha%e been so!ething in his society) 2ns$ee

$retends she nows what it is but of course it isn'ttrue& for she doesn't now any !ore than 2 do)

"ather is furious and 8other's eyes are all red withcrying) At dinner nobody says a word) 2f 2 could

only find out what he's done) "ather was shoutingat hi! yesterday and both Dora and 2 heard what hesaidC You young sca!$ Fthen there was so!ething

we couldn't understand and then he said& you attendto your school boos and lea%e the girls and the

!arried wo!en alone you $itiful scoundrel) And Dorasaid) Ah& now 2 understand and 2 saidC Please tell

!e& he is !y brother as well as yours) -ut she saidCMYou wouldn't understand) 2t's not suitable for suchyoung ears)M "ancy that& it's suitable for her ears&

but not !ine though she's not uite three years olderthan 2 a!& but because she no longer wears a short

sirt she gi%es herself the airs of a grown:u$ UladyU)uch airs& and then she sneas a great s$oonful of

ja! so that her !outh is stuffed with it and she can'ts$ea) hene%er 2 see her do this& 2 !ae a $ointof s$eaing to her so that she has to answer) he

does get in such a wax)

5ctober 0th) 2 now all about it now) ) ) That'show babies co!e) And UthatU is what ,obert really!eant) 6ot for !e& than you& 2 si!$ly won't !arry)"or if one !arries one has to do itR it hurts frightfully

and yet one has to) hat a good thing that 2 nowit in ti!e) -ut 2 wish 2 new exactly how& .ella

says she doesn't now exactly herself) -ut $erha$sher cousin who nows e%erything about it will tell

her) 2t lasts nine !onths till the baby co!es andthen a lot of wo!en die) 2t's horrible) .ella has

nown it for a long ti!e but she didn't lie to tell !e)


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A girl told her last su!!er in the country) hewanted to tal about it to Li44i her sister& really sheonly wanted to as if it was all true and Li44i ranoff to her !other to tell her what .ella had saidAnd her !other saidR MThese children are awful&

a corru$t generation& don't you dare to re$eat it toany other girl& to Grete Lainer& for instance&M andshe ga%e her a box on the ear) As if she could hel$

it( That is why she didn't write to !e for such along ti!e) Poor thing& $oor thing& but now she can

tell !e all about it and we won't betray one another)And that deceitful cat 2ns$ee has nown all about

it for ages and has ne%er told !e) -ut 2 don't understandwhy that ti!e at the swing ,obert saidC You

little fool& you wont get a baby si!$ly fro! that)Perha$s .ella nows) hen 2 go to the gy!nastic

lesson to:!orrow 2 shall tal to her first and as herabout it) 8y goodness how curious 2 a! to now)

5ctober /3th) 2'! in a great fun& 2 !issed !ygy!nastic lesson yesterday) 2 was u$stairs at .ella'sand without !eaning it 2 was so late 2 did not dare

to go) And .ella said 2 had better stay with herthat we would say that our su! was so difficult thatwe had not got it finished in ti!e) Lucily we really

had a su! to do) -ut 2 said nothing about it atho!e& for to:!orrow 5swald is going to G) to .err's) 2 thought that 2 new all about it but only nowhas .ella really told !e e%erything) 2t's a horrible

business this ) ) ) 2 really can't write it) hesays that of course 2ns$ee has it already& had it

when 2 wrote that 2ns$ee wouldn't bathe& did notwant to batheR really she had it) hate%er ha$$ensone !ust always be anxious about it) Utrea!s of

bloodU says .ella) -ut then e%erything gets all bl ) ) )That's why in the country 2ns$ee always switched

off the light before she was uite undressed& so that2 couldn't see) 7gh( #atch !e looing( 2t begins

at /I and goes on for >3 years or !ore) .ella saysthat -erta "rane in our class nows all about it)2n the arith!etic lesson she wrote a noteC Do you

now what being un ) ) ) is .ella wrote bac&of course 2'%e nown it for a long ti!e) -erta waitedfor her after class when the #atholics were ha%ingtheir religion lesson and they went ho!e together)2 re!e!ber uite well that 2 was %ery angry& for


29/220

they're not chu!s) 5n Tuesday -erta ca!e withus& for .ella had sent her a note in class saying that

2 new Ue%erythingU and she needn't bother about !e)2ns$ee sus$ects so!ething& she's always s$ying about

and sneering& $erha$s she thins that she's the only

$erson who ought to now anything)

5ctober /?th) To:!orrow is "ather's and Dora'sbirthday) E%ery year it annoys !e that Dora shouldha%e her birthday on the sa!e day as "atherR hatannoys !e !ost of all is that she is so cocy about

it& for& as "ather always says& it's a !ere chance)-esides& 2 don't thin he really lies it) E%eryone

wants to ha%e their own birthday on their own day&not to share it with so!eone else) And it's always

nasty to be stuc u$ about a thing lie that) -esides&

it's not going to be a real birthday because of therow about 5swald) "ather is still furious and hadto stay away fro! the office for > days because hehad to go to G) to see about 5swald going there)

5ctober /1th) 2t was !uch jollier to:day than 2had ex$ected) All the -rucners ca!e& so of coursethere was not !uch said about 5swald only that hehas s$rained his anle& F2 now uite well now thatthat's not true and that he is $robably going to G)#olonel -) saidC The best thing for a boy is to sendhi! to a !ilitary acade!y& that ee$s hi! in order)

2n the e%ening 5swald saidC That was awful rotwhat .ella's father said& for you can be ex$elled

fro! a !ilitary acade!y just as easily as fro! theGy!nasiu!) That's what ha$$ened to Edgar Groller)5swald ga%e hi!self away and Dora $ro!$tly saidCAh& so you ha%e been ex$elled& and we belie%ed you

had s$rained your anle) Then he got in an awfulwax and saidC 5 you wretched fla$$ers& 2'%e gone

and blabbed it all now& and he went away sla!!ingthe door& for 8other wasn't there

5ctober /0th) 2f we could only find out what5swald really did) 2t !ust ha%e been so!ethingwith a girl) -ut we can't thin what "ather !eant

about a !arried wo!an) Perha$s a !arried wo!anco!$lained of hi! to the head !aster or to the school

co!!ittee and that's how it all ca!e out) 2 feelawfully sorry for hi!& for 2 thin how 2 should ha%e


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felt !yself if e%erything had co!e out about ,obertand !e) 5f course 2 don't care now) -ut in the

su!!er it would ha%e been awful) 5swald hardlysays a word& exce$t that he has tals with 8otherso!eti!es) .e always $retends that he wants to

read& but it's absurd& for with such a lo%e troubleone can't really read) 2 ha%e not told -erta "raneall about it& but only that !y brother has had anunha$$y lo%e affair and that is why he is bac in

+ienna) Then she told us that this su!!er a cousinof hers shot hi!self because of her) They said in the

news$a$ers that it was because of an actress& butreally it was because of her) he is /I already)

5ctober >3th) e s$end !ost of our ti!e nowwith -erta "rane) he says she has had a tre!endous

lot of ex$erience& but she can't tell us yet becausewe are not inti!ate enough) -y and by she says)Perha$s she is afraid we shall gi%e her away) hewants to !arry when she is /? at latest) That's in> years) 5f course she won't ha%e finished schoolby then& but she will ha%e left the third class) hehas three ad!irers& but she has not yet !ade u$ her!ind which to choose) .ella says 2 !ustn't belie%eall this& that the story about the three ad!irers at

once is certainly a cra!)

5ctober >/st) -erta "rane says that when oneis dar under the eyes one has it and that when onegets a baby then one doesn't ha%e it any !ore untilone gets another) he told us too how one gets it&

but 2 didn't really belie%e what she said& for 2 thoughtshe did not now herself exactly) Then she got %erycross and saidC MAll right& 2 won't tell you any !ore)

2f 2 don't now !yself)M -ut 2 can't belie%e whatshe said about husband and wife) he said it !ust

ha$$en e%ery night& for if not they don't ha%e ababyR if they !iss a single night they don't ha%e a

baby) That's why they ha%e their beds so closetogether) Peo$le call the! U!arriage beds(((U Andit hurts so frightfully that one can hardly bear it)

-ut one has to for a husband can !ae his wife doit) 2 should lie to now how he can !ae her)

-ut 2 didn't dare to as for 2 was afraid she wouldthin 2 was !aing fun of her) 8en ha%e it too&

but %ery seldo!) e see a lot of -erta "rane now&


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she is an awfully nice girl& $erha$s 8other will let!e in%ite her here next unday)

5ctober >=rd) "ather too 5swald away to:day)8other cried such a lot) hen 5swald was lea%ing

2 whis$ered to hi!C 2 now what's the !atter withyou) -ut he did not understand !e for he saidCilly duffer) Perha$s he only said that because of"ather who was looing on with a fearful scowl)

5ctober >1th) E%erything see!s to ha%e gonewrong) Yesterday 2 got unsatisfactory in history& andin arith!etic to:day 2 couldn't get a single su! right)2'! frightfully worried about !issing that gy!nastic

lesson) 2t will be all right if 8other gi%es !e the!oney to:!orrow& for if she goes herself she will

certainly find out about it)

5ctober >;th) To:day the head !istress was $resentat our "rench lesson and said awfully nice thingsabout !e) he said 2 was good enough in "renchto be in the Third and then she ased !e whether2 was as good in the other subjects) 2 didn't want

to say either Yes or 6o& and all the other girls saidYes& she's good at e%erything) The head $atted !e

on the shoulder and saidC 2'! glad to hear that)hen she had gone 2 cried lie anything and 8ada!e

Arnau asedC hy& what's the !atter and the othergirls saidC 2n arith!etic she had 7nsatisfactory but

she can really do her su!s awfully well) Then8ada!e saidC MYou'll soon wi$e off that 7nsatisfactory)M

5ctober =3th) To:day 2 had a frightful botherwith "raulein +ischer in the history lesson) Yesterday

when 2 got into the tra! with 8other there was"raulein +) 2 looed the other way so that 8othershouldn't see her and so that she should not tell

8other about !e) hen she ca!e in to:day she saidCLainer& do you now the rules 2 new directly what

she !eant and said M2 did bow to you in the tra!but you didn't see !e)M MThat's a fine thing to do&

first you do wrong and then try to excuse yourself bytelling a lie) it down(M 2 felt awful for all the

girls looed at !e) 2n the // inter%al -erta "ranesaid to !eC Don't worry& she's got her nife into youand will always find so!ething to co!$lain of) he


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!ust ha%e s$oen to "rau Dotor 8)& for in the Ger!anlesson the subject for %i%a %oce co!$osition was

Good 8anners) And all the girls looed at !e again)he didn't say anything !ore) he's a $erfect angel&

!y darling E) 8)& her na!e is ElisabethR but she

does not ee$ her na!e:day because she's a ProtestantRthat's an awful sha!e because 6o%e!ber /0th is co!ingsoon)

5ctober =/st) 2'%e been so lucy) 6othing's co!eout about the gy!nastic lesson though 8other was

there herself) And in !ental arith!etic to:day 2got a 5ne) "raulein teiner is awfully nice too and

she saidC hy& L) what was the !atter with youin your su!s the other day& for you're so good atarith!etic 2 didn't now what to do so 2 saidC

5h 2 had such a headache the other day) Then -erta"rane nearly burst out laughing& it was horrid ofherR 2 don't thin she's uite to be trustedR 2 thin

she's rather a snea) hen the lesson was o%er shesaid she had laughed because MheadacheM !eans

so!ething uite different)

6o%e!ber /st) To:day we began to wor at thetablecloth for "ather's #hrist!as $resent) 5f course2ns$ee bagged the right side because that's easier towor at and 2 had to tae the left side and then onehas the whole caboodle on one's hand) "or 8other

2'! !aing an e!broidered leather boo co%er&e!broidered with sil and with a $ainted designR 2can do the $ainting $art at school in "raulein .)'s

lesson& she's awfully nice too) -ut 2 lie "rau Dotor8) best of all) 2'! UnotU going to in%ite -erta "rane

because of the way she laughed yesterday& and besides8other doesn't lie ha%ing strange girls to the house)

6o%e!ber >nd) 2 don't now all about things yet).ella nows a lot !ore) e said we were going

to go o%er our natural history lesson together and wewent in to the drawing:roo!& and there she told !e a

lot !ore) Then 8ali& our new ser%ant& ca!e in&and she told us so!ething horrid) ,esi is in a hos$ital

because she's ill) 8ali told us that all the Qewswhen they are uite little ha%e to go through a %erydangerous o$erationR it hurts frightfully and that's

why they are so cruel) 2t's done so that they can ha%e!ore childrenR but only little boys& not little girls)


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e wal together& but we only tal of e%erydaythings& school and lessons& nothing else) e wentsating to:day for the first ti!e and we shall gowhene%er we ha%e ti!e& which is not %ery often)

8other is woring at the table cloth) 2t's %ery hard

wor but she has not got as !uch to do as we ha%e)

6o%e!ber ;th) There was such a lo%ely young ladysating to:day& and she sates so beautifully& insideand outside edge and figures of ;) 2 sated along

behind her) hen she went to the cloa roo! therewas such a lo%ely scent) 2 wonder if she is going to

be !arried soon and whether UsheU nows all aboute%erything) he is so lo%ely and she $ushes bac thehair fro! her forehead so $rettily) 2 wish 2 were as

$retty as she is) -ut 2 a! dar and she is fair) 2

wish 2 could find out her na!e and where she li%es)2 !ust go sating again to:!orrowR do !y lessonsin the e%ening)

6o%e!ber 0th) 2'! so u$setR UsheU didn't co!e tosate) 2'! afraid she !ay be ill)

6o%e!ber /3th) he didn't co!e to:day either) 2waited two hours& but it was no good)

6o%e!ber //th) he ca!e to:day& at last( 5hhow $retty she is)

6o%e!ber />th) he has s$oen to !e) 2 wasstanding near the entrance gate and suddenly 2 heardso!e one laughing behind !e and 2 new directlyC

That is Ushe(U o it was) he ca!e u$ and saidChall we sate together Please& if 2 !ay& said 2&

and we went off together crossing ar!s) 8y heartwas beating furiously& and 2 wanted to say so!ething&but couldn't thin of anything sensible to say) henwe ca!e bac to the entrance a gentle!an stood there

and too off his hat and she bowed& and she said to!eC Till next ti!e) 2 said uiclyC hen To!orrow

Perha$s& she called bac) ) ) ) 5nly$erha$s& $erha$s& oh 2 wish it were to:!orrow already)

6o%e!ber /=th) 2ns$ee declares that her na!e isAnastasia 9lastosche) 2'! sure it can't be true that

she has such a na!e& she !ight be called Eugenie or


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era$hine or Laura& but Anastasia& i!$ossible) hyare there such horrid na!es "ancy if she is really

called that) 9lastosche& too& a #4ech na!e& and sheis su$$osed to co!e fro! 8ora%ia and to be >? alreadyR

>?& absurd& she's /; at !ost) 2'! sure she's

not so !uch as /;) Dora says she li%es in Phorusgasse&and that she doesn't thin her $articularly $retty) 5fcourse that's ran jealousyR Dora thins no one $retty

exce$t herself)

6o%e!ber /Ith) 2 ased the wo!an at the $ay box&her na!e really is Anastasia 9lastosche and she

li%es in the PhorusgasseR but the wo!an didn't nowhow old she is) he would not tell !e at first but

ased why 2 wanted to now and who had sent !eto enuire) he wouldn't loo into the boo until

2 told her that it was Uonly for !yselfU that 2 wantedto now) Then she looed& for 2 new the nu!berof the cloa roo! locerC =?& a lo%ely nu!ber& 2 lie

it so !uch) 2 don't really now why& but when 2hear anyone say that nu!ber it sounds to !e lie a

suirrel ju!$ing about in the wood)

6o%e!ber >3th) 2t's really i!$ossible to writee%ery day) 8other is ill in bed and the doctor co!ese%ery day& but 2 don't really now what's the !atter

with her) 2'! not sure whether the doctor nowsexactly) hen 8other is ill e%erything at ho!e isso unco!fortable and she always saysC hate%eryou do don't get ill& for it's such a nuisance) -ut

2 don't !ind being illR indeed 2 rather lie being ill&for then e%eryone's so nice& when "ather co!es ho!e

he co!es and sits by !y bed and e%en UDoraU is rathernice and does things for !eR that is she UhasU to)

-esides& when she had di$theria two years ago 2 dide%erything 2 could for her& she nearly died& her

te!$erature went u$ to /31 and 8other was sic withcrying) "ather ne%er cries) 2t !ust loo funny when

a !an cries) hen there was all that row about5swald he cried& 2 thin "ather had gi%en hi! abox on the ear) .e said he hadn't but 2 thin hehadR certainly he cried& though he said he didn't)

After all& why shouldn't he for he's not really grownu$ yet) 2 cry !yself when 2 get frightfully annoyed)

till 2 shouldn't cry for a box on the ear)


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6o%e!ber >/st) 2n the religion lesson to:day Liselchrotter who is the .err #atechist's fa%ourite& nowe'%e got to call hi! .err Professor& as she is the

.err Professor's fa%ourite& well she went to hi! withthe -ible and ased hi! what Uwith childU !eant)

That's what they say of 8ary in the -ible) Thechrotter girl does not now anything yet and theother girls egged her on till she went and ased) The

.err Professor got uite red and saidC 2f you don'tnow yet it does not !atter) e shall co!e to that

later& we're still in the 5ld Testa!ent) 2 was soglad that .ella does not sit next !e in the religion

lesson& because she's a ProtestantR we should certainlyha%e both burst out laughing) o!e of the girls

giggled frightfully and the .err Professor said toLiselC You're a good girl& don't bother about the

others) -ut Lisel $ositi%ely howled) 2 would notha%e ased& e%en if 2 hadn't really nown) UithchildU is a stu$id word anyhow& it doesn't !ean anything

reallyR only if one nows)

6o%e!ber >>nd) hen 2 was co!ing away fro!the religion lesson with -erta "rane the other day&

of course we began taling about UitU) he says that'swhy $eo$le !arry& only because of UitU) 2 said 2 could

not belie%e that $eo$le !arry only for UthatU) Lotsof $eo$le !arry and then ha%e no children) That'sall right said -erta& but it's uite true what 2 tell

you) Then she told !e a lot !ore but 2 really can'twrite it all down) 2t is too horrid& but 2 shan't forget)

hen 2 was sitting on 8other's bed to:day 2 suddenlyrealised that "ather's bed is really uite close to

8other's) 2 had ne%er thought about it before) -utit's not really necessary now for we are all uite big)till 2 su$$ose they'%e just left things as they were)ell dear& said 8other& what are you looing round

so for 5f course 2 didn't let on& but saidC 2 wasonly looing round and thining that if your bed waswhere the washstand is you could see to read better

when you are lying in bed) That would not do becausethe wall's all wrong said 8other) 2 said nothing!ore and she didn't either) 2 lie !uch better

to slee$ on a sofa than in a bed& because 2 lie tosnuggle u$ against the bac) 2'! so glad 8other

didn't notice anything) 5ne has to be so frightfullycareful not to gi%e oneself away when one nows


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e%erything)

6o%e!ber >


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and 2'! not /> yet) All we get are chocolates andsweets and dates and that sort of thing& not $ro$er$resents) The girls want to gi%e the "rau Dotora great 9ra!$us/ to lea%e it on her des) 2 thinthat's silly) 2t's not a $ro$er $resent for a teacher

one is really fond of& one doesn't want to waste sweetson a teacher one doesn't lie& and to gi%e an e!$ty9ra!$us would be rude) 8other is really right and

a 9ra!$us is only suitable for children)

/ 9ra!$usK,u$rechtsnecht& i)e) a little De!on& who ser%est) 6icholas& and is a bogey !an to carry off naughty children

An i!age of this De!on filled with sweets& is gi%en as a $resenton the feast of t) 6icholas which inaugurates the #hrist!as

season)::Translators' 6ote)

Dece!ber /st) e are gi%ing e%eryone of the staffa 9ra!$us& each of us is to subscribe a crown& 2 ho$e

"ather will gi%e !e the crown extra) Perha$s he'llgi%e us !ore $ocet !oney now& at least another

crown& that would be s$lendid) e are going to gi%ebig 9ra!$uses to the ones we lie best& andC s!allones to those we are not so fond of) e're afraid togi%e one to Professor Q) -ut if he doesn't get one

$erha$s he'll be offended)

Dece!ber >nd) To:day we went to buy 9ra!$usesfor the staff) The one for "rau Dotor 8) is the

finest) hen you o$en it the first thing you see islittle boos with chiller& Goethe& and "airy Taleswritten on the bacs& and then underneath these

are the sweets) That's exactly suited for her& for the"rau Dotor teaches Ger!an and in the "ourth in

Ger!an they are reading these $oets) Last !onth inthe "ourth they had a chiller festi%al and "rau Dotor

!ade a s$lendid s$eech and so!e of the girlsga%e recitations) -esides .ella has shown !e anawful $oe! by chiller) There you can readC if

only 2 could catch her in the bath& she would cry for!ercy& for 2 would soon show the girl that 2 a! a

!an) And then in another $laceC MTo !y !atein God's lieness 2 can show UthatU which is the source

of life)M -ut you can only find that in the UlargeUeditions of chiller) 2 belie%e we'%e got so!e boos


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of that sort in our boocase& for when 2ns$ee wasru!!aging there the other day 8other called fro!

the next roo!C MDora& what are you hunting forin the boocase 2 can tell you where it is)M Andshe saidC 5h& it's nothing& 2 was just looing for

so!ething& and shut the door uicly)

Dece!ber Ith) The girls are so tireso!e and ha%e!ade such a !uddle about the 9ra!$uses for thestaff) The !oney didn't co!e out right and 9ellersaid that 8arus had taen so!e but 8arus saidnot taen only e$t) 5f course 8arus co!$lained

to "rau Dotor and her father went to the headand co!$lained too) "rau Dotor said we now uite

well that collections are not allowed and that we!ust not gi%e any one a 9ra!$us) 6ow 9eller has

the fi%e 9ra!$uses and we don't now what to doabout it) 8other says that sort of thing ne%er turnsout well but always ends in a uarrel)

Dece!ber


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carni%al yesterday because 2 had such a bad cough&and Dora couldn't go either because she had a headacheR

2 don't now whether it was a real headacheor Uthat indU of headacheR but 2 ex$ect it was that ind)

Dece!ber /1th) 2 ha%en't !anaged to write anythingfor a whole wee) The day before yesterdaywe had our #hrist!as re$ortsC 2n history 2 had

satisfactory& in 6atural .istory good& in e%erythingelse %ery good) 2n diligence because of that stu$id+ischer 2 had only a >) "ather was %ery angryR hesays e%eryone can get a / in diligence) That's true

enough& but if one has satisfactory in anything thenone can't get a / for diligence) 2ns$ee of course had

only /'s& exce$t a > in English) -ut then she's afrightful swot) +erbenowitsch is the best in our class&

but we can't any of us bear her& she's so franticallyconceited and -erta "rane says she's Unot to betrustedU) -erta wals to school with her cousin who'sin the se%enthR she's nearly /I& and is awfully $retty)

he didn't say what sort of a re$ort she had& but 2belie%e it was a %ery bad one)

Dece!ber /;th) To:day at su$$er Dora fainted becauseshe found a little chicen in her egg& not really

a chicen yet& but one could !ae out the wings andthe head& just a setch of a chicen "ather said)

till& 2 really can't see what there was to faint about)Afterwards she said it had !ade her feel uite cree$y)

And she'll ne%er be able to eat another egg) At first"ather was uite frightened and so was 8other& but

then he laughed and saidC hat a fuss about nothing(he had to go and lie down at once and 2 stayed

downstairs for a long ti!e) hen 2 ca!e u$ to ourroo! she was reading& that is 2 saw the light throughthe crac in the doorR but when 2 o$ened the door it

was all dar and when 2 asedC Ah so you're stillreading she didn't answer and she $retended to waeu$ when 2 switched on the light and saidC hat's the

!atter 2 can't stand such hu!bug so 2 saidC hutu$& you now uite well it's 0 o:cloc) That's all)

5n our way to school to:day we didn't $ea a wordto one another) Lucily after awhile we !et a girl

belonging to her class)

Dece!ber /0th) 2'! frightfully excited to now


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what 2'! going to get for #hrist!as) hat 2'%ewished for isC A set of white furs& boa& !uff& and

%el%et ca$ tri!!ed with the sa!e fur& ac!e satesbecause !ine are always woring loose& UGer!anU sagas&

not GreeR no than you& hair ribbons& o$enwor

stocings& and if $ossible a gold $in lie the one .ellagot for a birthday $resent) -ut "ather says thatour #hrist #hild would find that rather too ex$ensi%e)

2ns$ee wants a corset) -ut 2 don't thin she'll getone because it's unhealthy) The tablecloth for "atheris finished and is being tri!!ed& but 8other's boo

co%er is not uite ready yet) 2'! gi%ing Dora alittle !anicure case) 5h& and 2'd nearly forgotten

what 2 want !ore than anything else& a loc:u$ box inwhich to ee$ !y diary) Dora wants so!e o$enwor

stocings too and three boos) A frightful thing

ha$$ened to !e the other day) 2 left one of the$ages of !y diary lying about or lost one so!ehowor other) hen 2 ca!e ho!e 2ns$ee saidC Myou'%elost UthisU& ha%en't you chool notes 2 su$$oseM2 didn't notice what it was for a !o!ent& but then

2 saw by the loo of it and saidC Yes& those are schoolnotes) .!:!:!& said 2ns$ee& not exactly that are

they You can than your stars that 2'%e not shownthe! to 8other) -esides $eo$le who can't s$ell yetreally ought not to ee$ diaries) 2t's not suitable for

children) 2 was in a wax) 2n the closet 2 too asuint to see what !istaes 2 had !ade) There was

only UwennU with one UnU instead of double UnU and UdassUwith short Uss'sU& that's all) 2 was jolly glad that therewas nothing about UherU on the $age) he'd under:

lined the UnU and the short Uss'sU with red& just as if shewas a school!istress& infernal chee( The best wouldbe to ha%e a boo with a loc to it& which one couldalway ee$ loced& then no one could read any of it

and underline one's !istaes in red) 2 often writeso fast that it's easy to !ae a sli$ now and again)As if she ne%er !ade a !istae) The whole thing!ade !e furious) -ut 2 can't say anything about it

because of 8other& at least on the way to schoolR butno& if 2 say nothing at all then she always gets !ore

waxy than e%er) 2f 2 were to say !uch about it8other !ight re!e!ber those < $ages 2 lost in the

country and 2'd rather not than you)

Dece!ber >>nd) Aunt Dora ca!e to:day) he's


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going to stay with us for a ti!e till 8other is uitewell again) 2 didn't re!e!ber her at all& for 2 was

only four or fi%e when she went away fro! +ienna)You dear little blac beetle she said to !e and ga%e!e a iss) 2 didn't lie the UblacU !uch& but .ella

says that suits !e& that it's U$iuantU) UPiuantU iswhat the officers always say of her cousin in 9re!s&"ather says she is a beauty& and she's dar lie !e)-ut 2'd rather be fair& fair with brown eyes or betterstill with %iolet eyes) hall 2 grow u$ a beauty 5h

2 do ho$e 2 shall(

Dece!ber >=rd) 2 a! frightfully excited about to:!orrow) 2 wonder what 2 shall get 6ow 2 !ust goand decorate the #hrist!as tree) 2ns$ee saidC .ullo&

is UGretlU going to hel$ decorate this year he's ne%er

done it before( 2 should lie to now why not) -utAunt Dora too !y side) M5f course she'll hel$decorate tooR but $lease don't stuff yoursel%es with

sweets)M M2f Dora doesn't eat anything 2 shan'teither&M said 2 $ro!$tly)

E%ening) Yesterday was our last day at school)The holidays are fro! the >=rd to Qanuary >nd) 2t's

glorious) 2 shall be able to go sating e%ery day)5f course 2 had no ti!e to:day and shan't ha%e to::!orrow) 2 wonder whether 2 should send the Gold"airy a #hrist!as card) 2 wish she had a $rettierna!e) Anastasia 9lastoscheR it is so ugly) All

#4ech na!es are so ugly) "ather nows a #ountilc4e& but a still worse na!e is chafgotsch)

6othing would induce !e to !arry anyone calledchafgotsch or ilc4e e%en if he were a count anda !illionaire) Yesterday we $aid our res$ects to the

staff& +erbenowitsch and 2 went to "rau Dotor becauseshe is fondest of us& or is UsaidU to be) 6obody

wanted to go to Professor ,igl& 2gel& we always say6iel& for when he has res$ects $aid to hi! he always

saysC MAw ri')M -ut it would ha%e been rudeto lea%e hi! out and so the !onitors had to go) hen

#hrist!as was drawing near "rau Dotor told usthat we were none of us to gi%e $resents to the staff)M2 beg you& girls& to bear in !ind what 2 a! saying&

for if you do not there will only be trouble) Youre!e!ber what ha$$ened on t) 6icholas' day) And

you !ust not send anything to the ho!es of the staff&


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nor !ust the #hrist #hild lea%e anything on any one'sdoorste$)M As she said this she looed hard at !e

and Edith -ergler& so she nows who left the 9ra!$us)2'! so tired 2 can't ee$ !y eyes o$en) .urrah&

to:!orrow is #hrist!as E%e(((

Dece!ber >Ith) #hrist!as E%e afternoon is horrid)5ne does not now what to be at) 2'! not allowedto go sating so the best thing is to write) 5swaldca!e ho!e yesterday) E%eryone says he's looings$lendidR 2 thin he's awfully $ale and he snortedwhen e%eryone said he had such a fine colourR ofcourse& how can he loo well when he has such a

UheartacheU) 2 wish 2 could tell hi! that 2 understandwhat he feels& but he's too $roud to acce$t sy!$athy

fro! !e) .e has wished for an ar!y re%ol%er for

#hrist!as& but 2 don't thin he'll get one for boys atthe !iddle school are not allowed to ha%e any firear!s)6ot long ago at a Gy!nasiu! in Galicia one

of the boys shot a !aster out of re%engeR they saidit was because the boy was getting on badly with his

wor& but really it was about a girl& although the!aster was =? years old) This !org) 2 was in town

with 5swald sho$$ingR we !et the arths& Elliand ) ) ) ,obert) 5swald said that Elli was uite

nice:looing but that ,obert was an ugly beast) -esides&he can't stand hi! he said& because he glared

at !e so) 2f only he new what ha$$ened in thesu!!er( 2 was awfully condescending to ,obert and

that !ade hi! furious) 2f one could only sa%e yougirls fro! all the troubles which the world calls

MLo%e&M said 5swald on the way ho!e) 2 was justgoing to say M2 now that you're unha$$y in lo%eand 2 can feel for you&M when 2ns$ee ca!e round

the corner of the -ognergasse with her chu! and >officers were following the!& so none of the! saw us)MGreat cott& "rieda's full:fledged now&M said 5swald&Mshe's a little tart)M 2 can't stand that sort of %ulgarityso 2 did not say another word all the way ho!e) .enoticed and said to 8otherC MGretl's !outh has been

fro4en u$ fro! en%y)M That's all) -ut it was reallydisgusting of hi! and now 2 now what line to tae)

Qust a !o!ent for a word or two) The whole#hrist!as E%e has gone to $ot) A co!!issionaire

ca!e with a bouuet for Dora and "ather is fu!ing)


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2 wish 2 new who sent it) 2 wonder if it was oneof those > officers 5f course 2ns$ee says she hasnot the ghost of an idea) hat sur$rises !e is that5swald has not gi%en her away) All he said wasC2 say& what a lar( -ut "ather was down on hi!

lie anything& MYou hold your jaw and thin of yourown beastly conduct)M 2 didn't en%y hi!R 2 don'tthin !uch of Dora's loos !yself& but a$$arently she$leases Uso!eoneU) 2n the bouuet there was a $oe!

and Dora got hold of it uicly before "ather hadseen it) 2t was awfully $retty& and it was signedC

5ne for who! you ha%e !ade #hrist!as beautiful(The heading isC MThe 8agic eason)M 2 thin

Dora's s$lendid not to gi%e herself awayR e%en to !eshe declares she does not now who sent itR but of

course that !ay be all hu!bug) 2 thin it really co!es

fro! young Perathoner& with who! she's alwayssating)

Dece!ber >;th) 2'%e had absolutely no ti!e towrite) 2 got e%erything 2 wanted) Aunt Dora ga%e

both of us an o$era glass in !other:of:$earl in a $lushcase) e are going to all the school $erfor!ances&"ather's arranged itR he has subscribed to UallU the$erfor!ances during the school year /0:: to /0::)

2 a! so delighted for "rau Dotor 8) will co!e too)2 do ho$e 2 shall sit next to her)

Dece!ber =/st) To:day 2 wanted to read throughall 2 ha%e written& but 2 could not !anage it but in

the new year 2 really !ust write e%ery day)

Qanuary /st& /0::) 2 !ust write a few sentencesat least) "or the afternoon we had been in%ited tothe ,ydberg's the arths were there and Edle %onernhoff(( 2 was just the sa!e as usual with Liselbut 2 would not say a word to ,) They left before

us& and then .eddy ased !e what was wrong between!e and ,) .e had said of !eC Any one can

ha%e the Ublac goose for !eU) Then he said that anyone could tae !e in) 2 was so stu$id that 2 wouldbelie%e anything) 2 can't thin what he !eant& for

he ne%er too !e in about anything) Anyhow 2 wouldnot let Uhi!U s$oil new year's day for !e) -ut .ella

is uite right for if the first $erson one !eets onQanuary /st is a co!!on $erson that's a bad beginning)


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The first thing this !orning when 2 went out 2 !etour old $ost!an who's always so gru!$y if he's e$twaiting at the door) 2 looed the other way directly

and across the street a fine young gentle!an was $assing&but it was no good for the co!!on $ost!an had

really been the first)

Qanuary />th) 2 a! so angry) UeU !ayn't go satingany !ore because 2ns$ee has begun to co!$lain

again of her silly old ears and 8other i!agines thatshe got her earache last year sating) 2t's all right

to ee$ UherU at ho!eR but why shouldn't U2U go .owcan U2U hel$ it when UsheU gets a chill so easily 2n !ostthings "ather is justice itself& but 2 really can't understand

hi! this ti!e) 2t's si!$ly absurd& only it's too!iserable to call it absurd) 2'! in a $erfect fury)

till& 2 don't say anything)

"ebruary />th) 2 ha%e not written for a whole!onth& 2'%e been woring so hard) To:day we got

our re$orts) Although 2'%e been woring so frightfullyhard& again 2 only got a > in Diligence) "rau

Dotor 8) !ade a s$lendid s$eech and saidC Asyou sow& so you shall rea$) -ut that's not always true)2n 6atural .istory 2 did not now !y lesson twice but

2 got a /& and in .istory 2 only did not now !ylesson once and 2 got atisfactory) Anyhow "raulein

+) does not lie !e because of that ti!e when 2did not bow to her in the tra!) That is why in Qanuary&

when 8other ased about !e& she saidC Mhedoes not really $ut her bac into her wor)M 2 o%erheard

"ather sayC After all she's only a id& but to:day he !ade a frightful row about the > in Diligence).e !ight ha%e nown why she ga%e !e that) Dora&

Uso she saysU& has only ones& but she has not shown !ethe re$ort) 2 don't belie%e what 2 don't see) And

8other ne%er gi%es her away to !e)

"ebruary /


46/220

re$ort than any one else) he does not bother !uchand saysC 5ne can't ha%e e%erything) -ut if she

doesn't get nothing but ones in the su!!er ter! sheis not to stay at the high school and will ha%e to go

to the !iddle school) That'll !ae her sit u$)

"ather's awfully funny tooC hat ha%e you got historyboos for& if you don't read the! Yesterdaywhen 2 was reading !y albu! of stories& "ather ca!e

in and saidC You lie a story boo better than ahistory boo& and shut the boo u$ and too it awayfro! !e) 2 was in such a te!$er that 2 went to bed

at 1 o'cloc without any su$$er)

"ebruary >3th) 2 !et the Gold "airy to:day) hes$oe to !e and ased why 2 did not co!e satingany !ore) The fancy dress 2ce #arni%al on the >Ith

was s$lendid she said) 2 saidC ould you belie%eit& a year ago !y UsisterU had an earache& and Ufor thatreasonU they won't allow UeitherU of us to sate this year)

he laughed lie anything and said so exuisitelyC5h& what a wiced sister) he looed $erfectly

ra%ishingC A red:brown coat and sirt tri!!ed withfur& sable 2 belie%e& and a huge brown bea%er hat with

cre$e:de:chine ribbons& lo%ely) And her eyes and!outh) 2 belie%e she will !arry the !an who is always

going about with her) 6ext autu!n& when weget new winter clothes& 2 shall ha%e a fur tri!!edred:brown) e !ust not always be dressed alie)

.ella and Li44i are ne%er dressed alie)

8arch ;th) 2 shall ne%er say another word to -erta"raner she's utterly false) 2'%e such a frightful

headache because 2 cried all through the lesson) hewrote to .ella and !e in the arith!etic lessonC A

U+erhaltnisU> !eans so!ething uite different) Qustat that !o!ent the !istress looed across and saidCTo who! were you nodding he saidC To Lainer)

-ecause she laughed at the word M+erhaltnis)M 2t wasnot true) 2 had not thought about the word at all)

2t wasn't till 2 had read the note that it occurred to.ella and !e what U+erhaltnisU !eans) After the lesson

"raulein t) called us down into the teachers' roo!and told "rau Dotor 8) that "rane and 2 had

laughed at the use of the word M+erhaltnis)M "rauDotor saidC hat was there to laugh at hy didyou not just do your su!s "raulein t) saidC You


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ought to be asha!ed of yoursel%es& young girls in thefirst class shouldn't now anything about such things)2 shall ha%e to s$ea to your !others) 2n the Ger!anlesson "rau Dotor 8) told us to write an essay onthe $ro%erbC Pure the heart and true the word& clear

the brow and free the eye& these are our safeguards&or so!ething of that sortR 2 !ust get .ella to write itfor !e& for 2 was crying all through the lesson)

> The Ger!an word +erhaltnis as used in the arith!etic lesson!eans ratio& $ro$ortion) The word is in co!!on use in

Ger!any for a lo%e inti!acy or liaison)::Translators' 6ote)

8arch /3th) To:day -erta "rane wanted to tal

things out with usR but .ella and 2 told her we wouldnot s$ea to her again) e told her to re!e!berUwhat sortU of things she had said to us) he denied it

all already) e shouldn't be such hu!bugs) 2t was!ean of her) ,eally we didn't now anything and

UsheU told us all about it) .ella has told !e again andagain she wished we didn't now anything) he saysshe's always afraid of gi%ing herself away and thatshe often thins about that sort of thing when sheought to be learning her lessons) o do 2) And oneoften drea!s about such things at night when onehas been taling about the! in the afternoon) till&

it's better to now all about it)

8arch >>nd) 2 so seldo! !anage to write anything&first of all our lessons tae such a lot of ti!e&

and second because 2 don't care about it any !oresince what "ather said the other day) The last ti!e

2 wrote was on aturday afternoon& and "ather ca!ein and saidC #o!e along children& we'll go to chonbrunn)

That will do you !ore good than scribblingdiaries which you only go and lose when you'%e written

the!) o 8other told "ather all about it in theholidays) 2 couldn't ha%e belie%ed it of 8other for

2 begged her to $ro!ise not to tell anyone) And shesaidC 5ne doesn't $ro!ise about a thing lie thatR

but 2 won't tell anyone) And now she !ust ha%e toldabout it& although she said she wouldn't) E%en

"rane's deceitfulness was nothing to that for afterall we'%e only nown her since last autu!n& but 2


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could ne%er ha%e belie%ed that 8other would do sucha thing) 2 told .ella when we were ha%ing tea at

the Ti%oli and she said she would not altogether trusther !other& she'd rather trust her father) -ut if that

had ha$$ened to UherU& her father would ha%e boxed

her ears with the diary) 2 did not want to show anything&but in the e%ening 2 only ga%e 8other uite alittle iss) And she said& what's the !atter& dear has

anything ha$$ened Then 2 could not ee$ it inand 2 cried lie anything and saidC You'%e betrayed

!e) And 8other saidC M2M Yes& youR you told"ather about the diary though you $ro!ised !e youwouldn't) At first 8other didn't re!e!ber anythingabout it& but soon she re!e!bered and saidC M-ut&

little one& 2 tell "ather e%erything) All you !eant wasthat Dora was not to now)M That's uite true& it's

all right that Dora wasn't toldR but still "ather neednot ha%e been told either) And 8other was awfullysweet and nice and 2 didn't go to bed till /3 o'cloc)

-ut whate%er ha$$ens 2 shan't tell her anything againand 2 don't care about the old diary any !ore) .ellasaysC Don't be stu$idR 2 ought just to go on writingR

but another ti!e 2 should be careful not to loseanything& and besides 2 should not blab e%erything to8other and "ather) he says she no longer tells her

!other anything since that ti!e in the su!!er whenher !other ga%e her a box on the ear because that

other girl had told her all about e%erything) 2t's uitetrue& .ella is right& 2'! just a child still in the way

2 run to 8other and tell her e%erything) And it's notnice of "ather to tease !e about !y diaryR 2 su$$ose

he ne%er e$t one hi!self)

8arch >1th) .urrah we're going to .ainfeld forEasterR 2 a! so delighted) 8other has a friend there

whose husband is doctor there& so she has to li%e thereall the year round) Last year in the winter she and

Ada stayed three days with us because her eyes werebad) Ada is really nearly as old as Dora& but Dorasaid& lie her cheeC M.er intellectual le%el !aes

her !uch !ore suitable co!$any for you than for !e)MDora thins herself cle%erer than anyone else) They

ha%e > boys& but 2 don't now the! %ery well for theyare only ; and 0) 8other's friend was in an asylu!once& for she went off her head when her > year oldbaby died) 2 re!e!ber it uite well) 2t !ust ha%e


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been !ore than > years ago when "ather and 8otherwere always taling of $oor Anna who had lost herchild within = days) And 2 belie%ed she had reallylost it& and once 2 ased whether they had found ityet) 2 thought it had been lost in the forest& because

there's such a great forest at .ainfeld) And sincethen 2 can't bear to hear $eo$le say lost when they!ean dead& for it is so difficult to now which they

really !ean)

5n the ;th of A$ril the Easter holidays will beginand we shall go on the //th& on 8aundy Thursday)

A$ril ?th) 2 don't now what to do about writing!y diary) 2 don't want to tae it with !e and as

for re!e!bering e%erything and writing it down afterwards

2 now uite well 2 should ne%er do that) .ellasays 2 should only jot it down in outline& that's what"rau Dotor 8) always says& and write it out $ro$erly

after 2 co!e bac fro! .ainfeld) That's what shedoes) They are going to the -rioni 2slands) 2'%ene%er seen the sea) .ella says there's nothing sowonderful about it) he's been there four ti!es)

Anyway she does not thin so !uch of it as !ost$eo$le do) o it can't be anything so frightfully

grand) ,ather stu$id 2 dare say)

A$ril />th) e got here yesterday) Ada is adarling but the two boys are awfully %ulgar) Ernstlsaid to AdaC 2 shall gi%e you a s!ac on the a::::if you don't gi%e !e !y $istol directly) Ada is as

tall as her !other) Their s$eech is rather countrifiedE%en the doctor's) .e drins a frightful lot of beerR

uarts 2 belie%e)

A$ril /Ith) "ather ca!e to:day) .e's awfullyfond of the doctor) They issed one another) 2t did

!ae !e laugh) 2n the !orning we were in the forestRbut there are no %iolets yet& only a few snowdro$s& but

a tre!endous lot of hellebores uite red)

A$ril /


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A$ril /?th) "ather went ho!e to:day) e goho!e to:!orrow) At hitsuntide Ada's !other isgoing to bring her to be confir!ed) They are all

co!ing to stay with us) 2 got stuc in a bog on the

ban of the ,a!sau) 2t was awful) -ut the doctor$ulled !e out and then we did all laugh so when wesaw what !y shoes and stocings were lie) Lucily2 was able to catch hold of a tree stu!$ or 2 should

ha%e sun right in)

A$ril /;th) .ella says it was s$lendid at the -rioni2slands) he is frightfully sunburned) 2 don't lie

that& so 2 shall Une%erU go to the UsouthU) .ella says thatif one !arries in winter one U!ustU s$end one's honey!oon

in the south) That would not suit !e& 2 should

just $ut off !y !arriage till the su!!er)

Ada is only /= not /I lie Dora& and the $arish$riest !aes a tre!endous fuss because she's not

confir!ed yet) .er !other is going to bring her to beconfir!ed soon) e are not going to be confir!ed

because "ather and 8other don't want to be botheredwith it) till 2 should lie to be confir!ed& for then

one UhasU to ha%e a watch& and one can as for so!ethingelse at #hrist!as)

A$ril >/st) 5ur lessons are so!ething frightfuljust now) The school ins$ector is co!ing soon) 2t's

always %ery disagreeable) 8!e A) saysC The in:s$ection is for the staff not for the $u$ils) till& it'shorrid for the $u$ils too first of all because we getbla!ed at the ti!e and secondly because the staff

!aes such a frightful row about it afterwards) Dorasays that a bad ins$ection can !ae one's re$ort >degrees worse) -y the way& that re!inds !e that

2 ha%

Young Girl Dairy

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