You’ll laugh until your face scrunches! · 2020-07-28 · You’ll laugh until your face...
Transcript of You’ll laugh until your face scrunches! · 2020-07-28 · You’ll laugh until your face...
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You’ll laugh until your face scrunches!
18”x27”
Made of 100% Cotton Flour Sack
Includes Display Hanger
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You’ll laugh until your face scrunches!
Tonight I tried cooking with
wine… after five glasses
I couldn’t remember
why I was even in the kitchen.
My therapist
told me to
cut back
on drinking,
then we laughed
and laughed!
A good man can make you
feel sexy, strong and able to take
on the world! Oh sorry…
that’s wine... Wine does that.
I just want to
drink wine and pet my cat.
In wine there is truth, in beer there is strength, in water there is bacteria.
A friend knows when to pour the wine. A real friend knows when
to stop pouring and just hand over the bottle.
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Five Glasses Cut Back Wine Does ThatPet Cat Beer Truth The Bottle
Did you know that 2 or 3
glasses of wine per day
can reduce your risk of
giving a damn?
So... it turns out that being an adult
is mostly just googling shit.
There are two things I do well;
drink and know
things.
I enjoy a glass of wine
each night for its
health benefits. The other glasses
are for my witty comebacks
and flawless dance moves.
Alcohol... because no great story ever started
with someone eating a salad.
I pretend to like people
every day, it’s called
being an adult and that’s why we are allowed to buy alcohol.
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Give a Damn Googling I Do WellHealth Benefits Eating Salad Buy Alcohol
Alcohol fills the
space where my fucks used to be!
Coffee, you’re on
the bench… alcohol, suit up!
You drink too much.
You cuss too much. You have
questionable morals…
Everything I wanted
in a friend.
I am not self-medicating. The guy at the
liquor store gave me a
prescription. Okay, he called it
a “receipt”.
Exercise makes you look better naked.
So does alcohol!
Your choice.
Silence is golden,
unless you have children, then silence is suspicious.
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Alcohol Fills Coffee A FriendSelf Medicating Exercise Suspicious Silence
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It’s like my mom
always said, “What the
fuck is wrong with you?”
Please excuse the
mess... our standards have lowered
with each child.
You and I are sisters.
Always remember
that if you fall I will pick
you up. (as soon as I finish laughing)
I could agree with you, but
then we’d both be wrong.
We’ll be friends until
we are old and senile,
then we’ll be newfriends!
Remember as far as
anyone knows, we are a
nice, normal family.
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Mom Said Standards SistersAgree New Friends Normal Family
Your opinion
is not part of the recipe.
Fork it! Let’s order
take out.
Pretty sure
I’ve seized the wrong
day.
Relax, we’re
all crazy... It’s not a
competition.
It’s not called slurring your words, it’s called talking in
cursive and it’s fucking elegant.
My spirit animal is
a fat raccoon trying to get into
a dumpster.
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Recipe Fork It! Wrong DayCrazy Slurring Spirit Animal
People say I act like I don’t
care… it’s not an act.
I hope someone steals
my identityand makes
something out of my life.
I’m pretty sure my last words will be “hold my drink and watch this”
I hate the sound
people make when words come out of their mouth.
Nobody wants to hear about
your diet, just eat your
kale and be sad.
Four out of five voices in my head think you’re an idiot. The other one
is talking about where to bury
your body.
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Not an Act My Identity Last WordsThe Sound Sad Diet Idiot
You’ll laugh until your face scrunches!
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Suggested Retail $7.99
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If showing up in a robe and tiara with a
box of wine is wrong, then I don’t fully
understand the concept of
“Casual Friday”
After Monday & Tuesday even the
calendar says
WTFand I still want to
smack someone!
I meditate, I do yoga, I chant…
Inside every old person is a young
person wondering
“what the hell happened?”
I can only please one
person per day. Today is
not your day. Tomorrow
isn’t looking good either.
My decision-making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel
trying to cross the street.
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Casual Friday WTF YogaOld Person People Pleaser Decision Making
I swear if my memory was any worse, I could plan
my own surprise party.
Grandparents
- so easy to operate,
even a child can do it.
Today has been
cancelled. Tomorrow
may be postponed.
Good moms let you lick the beaters. Great moms turn them off first.
Around here we don’t
hide crazy, we parade iton the porch and give it a cocktail.
Working hard so my
DOG can have a better life.
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Surprise Party Grandparents
Cancel Today
Good Moms
Porch Cocktails My Dog
1785 West Oak Parkway, Suite 3, Marietta, GA 30062Customer Service: 1-866-660-6603 | Fax: 1-800-213-3950 | Email: [email protected]
You’ll laugh until your face scrunches!
All Towels: 18”x27” Wholesale $3.33
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GOOD CLEAN FUNPrepack includes 3 x 24 of our ‘Good Clean Fun’ towels! Display included
with fill.
479-SFTCLEANPPKCost: 239.76Retail: 479.52
A LITTLE BIT DIRTYPrepack includes 3 x 24 of
our ‘A Little Bit Dirty’ towels! Display included with fill.
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TOWEL DISPLAYDisplay only. 4 Sided Towel
Display. Holds up to 144 towels. Free with fill.
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