YOU ARE WORTHY TO BE RESPECTED TO BE APPRECIATED TO BE LOVED

I am sharing a message today about eyes you can not see and ears

that hear you and you don’t know they are listening. I will be talking

about emotions. I will be discussing what you probably take for

granted every day you walk this campus. I am talking about the

freedom of using your own will. This is something that can be taken in

the twinkling of an eye. What so many young people don’t realize is

that in the search for love they give up something very precious and

that something is their worth. I am here to tell you that You are

Worthy.

It seems like a simple word to you right now, especially for those who

have had the opportunity to have everything served to them on a

silver platter. But I am not talking about material possessions. I am

talking about what makes you what you are. You are worthy to be

RESPECTED …

In the journey of life we are taught what life means by our parents,

family, friends, teachers and peers. But, so many people go to their

places of solitude and wonder; “Who am I and why am I here? You

feel as if you are being led by a leash and you are very confused as

to where you are going in life.

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To be respected can take courage to acquire for some people.

Especially people pleasers who end up being teased and tormented

and they just laugh along with the crowd, while deep inside they are

in pain. They find it very difficult to walk away from the pain for fear of

being rejected or alone. That used to be me. I would take people

saying and doing horrible things to me just to be accepted. But I

soon realized that I was alone even in a crowd. So I learned to

choose friends who were truly friends and I found a peace I can not

describe. It is a terrible feeling to be alone in a crowded room. I

developed a slogan for myself when I found a peace in finding a

place of solitude and then I could be alone because I chose it. My

slogan is; “It is better to be alone when I choose to be alone than

to be lonely in a crowd.” I used to be called names and laughed at

and I would sit quietly by and take it while all the time I was crying

inside. I took another path and stepped away from the people that

caused me pain and I was surprised at the new people that came into

my life and then one day an elderly woman told me;

“You are Worthy to be APPRECIATED.” I was shocked, because

no one had ever said that to me before. The word appreciated fell

upon a hollow core. I was confused and conflicted.

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Appreciated seemed like a word that belonged to someone else. She

told me that I would never know who I was until I could appreciate

how I was made and why I was made to be here. She pointed at

herself and told me, “I love the way you sing, but you never finish a

song. I love the way you write, but you never share with others. Your

writings are just piling up to collect dust. If you share who you are and

stop hiding behind the past then you will see how you can be

appreciated and then you will know that …

‘You are Worthy to be Loved’ .

I was so confused by this revelation. This lady was telling me about

me and I was scared because it meant that I was going to have to

walk away from all that I knew to find out who I was and why I was

here. That is when I could hear what was always being said about me

by others. So … my elderly friend died of cancer, but before she died

she gave me … me.

I began to tell myself that it was alright for me to have joy and

happiness. I began to learn the words of the bible in a whole new

way. I learned what love is supposed to truly be and I gave my

sincere heart and soul over to the Lord. In serving him I found peace

of mind. Now I am LIVING FREE!

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LIVING FREE: Freedom is priceless and as precious as pearls

Just before I opened up to present my speech I told you about my life

as a hostage. I couldn’t see what was lurking close by. I could only

see what was right in front of me. I was struggling to end a very long

struggle of being a victim of a man who was the father of my children.

I was young and I didn’t have the option to call on my stepfather

because he had died in a car accident years earlier, and my mother

had died four years later.

In my early twenties I was left to care for my siblings, including one

with cerebral palsy. I was challenged to climb a very steep mountain

of responsibilities. I could have let my younger siblings go to Social

Workers who appeared at my doorstep, less than twenty four hours

after my mother died, but I fought to keep us together. I did not feel

trapped by that decision, but I did feel trapped by a marriage to a man

who beat me mercilessly. He would tell me; “I know you don’t love

me, but I have enough love for the both of us!” I was in a prison

called, Fear. He began to torment me for eight years after I divorced

him.

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In the mist of that I left him and moved into my own apartment and I

was doing very well, but one day he simply move into my home and

took it over while I was in the hospital having surgery. I went to work

with black eyes and swollen lips. Sometimes my neighbors would

say; “Hey! It looks like you’ve been in the ring with Muhammad

Ali!” I would just lower my head and pray for a way out of hell. If you

don’t get anything else from this speech today, remember this;

“FREEDOM IS PRICELESS AND AS PRECIOUS AS PEARLS”.

Think about PEARLS!

INNER PEARLS

Let’s start with INNER PEARLS. These are your personal pearls

and some are given to you while you are in the womb. The first pearl

is LIFE.

Life is a PRIVILEGE . You have been given a very precious gift. You

struggled against all odds to be here. You searched for the pathway

to life and you found it. It is amazing. It is the first miracle.

Your first privileged pearl is life itself.

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You have Power inside of you; You have the power to be great at

anything you choose to be great at. Your parents may or may not

support you, but in some young people they beat the odds because

they have an inner power that no one can tame. They go on to be

successful and they can tell you of how they endured

homelessness, how they faced poverty, how they were tortured

and battered, but they stayed on the course to become a success

story.

There are some that were raised in a house that many of us can only

dream of. But they also endured physical and emotional abuse, but

they fell by the wayside because no one believed in them and

they did not believe in themselves.

I say this; “That power that resides within you; don’t give it to

anyone!

Know your own mind . This is a most rewarding pearl, because we

are born into a world that is forever changing. There are so many

things to adjust to in a very short amount of time.

Learn how to say the word, “NO” and say it with conviction !

I was weary of this powerful word. I was in my late forties before it

made any sense to me.

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I had endured domestic violence and life as a hostage, poverty

and homelessness and I would still sit in a room and hear myself

being described and I knew that what was being said was not who or

what I was. I had not learned to follow my own path and that led to

other situations where I ended up where I was a victim again and

again. But one day I learned the power of the word ‘No’.

If only I had known the freedom it could bring me. There is a

difference between saying no and doing no.

I’ve seen that doing nothing when simply a no would end a situation

that someone may not want to be in … it is torment. You will hear

some people say that he or she is stringing me along. Some people

will not walk away until they hear yes or no.

OUTER PEARLS

Outer Pearls, are those special gifts that you possess that

attracts you to others and others to you. A lot of oyster chucking

must take place before a precious one can be found. After chucking

many oysters for the right pearl, finally you hold in your hand the right

oyster of knowledge.

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You’ve chucked it and the pearl of wisdom inside has been

exposed. You know that pearl is precious! That pearl is the

essence of you.

Now is the time for you to be polished and the essence of who you

are and what you are to be is put on display. This is where your

parents may have spent a great deal of their time preparing you with

‘warnings about people who might come into your life’. Of course it is

easier to listen to someone else than to listen to your parents

because they are always around and it seems as if they are trying to

run your life. When in fact they are trying to spare you the pain they

endured. I am sure that they’ve prayed many days and night for you

to be safe from others, but the most difficult prayer that they pray for

you is for you to be safe from your own choices. This pearl is one

that is ignored as we get older.

We do not; PAY ATTENTION TO OUR SURROUNDINGS.

We put one foot in from of the other and just keep on going like the

bunny rabbit. We don’t listen to hear the unexpected and we don’t

look to see all that we can see. Stalkers have mastered seeking

these special pearls and they know that you are not looking nor

are you listening.

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I was here on the campus a few months ago and I observed a young

lady walking across campus and a man was watching her every

move, but there was something uncanny about the way he was

watching her that gave me chills. The young lady had no idea that

she was being observed in this manner. Now don’t get me wrong,

there is absolutely nothing wrong with being admired, but when it is

threatening and it looks like an animal on the prowl then something is

very wrong. As I stated earlier I am sharing a message today

about eyes you can not see and ears that hear you that you may

not know is listening. I am talking about a stalker.

I am sure that in this audience sits someone who knows about

somebody that has been a victim of a stalker. I am not asking you to

raise your hands.

Remember that; EVERY SMILING FACE DOES NOT HAVE A

SMILING HEART.

Sometimes you can tell it by the eyes. The mouth smiles, but the

eyes are as cold as ice. Sometimes you can tell by the way a person

walks that something is wrong. If you feel it in your heart that

something isn’t right. Walk away as fast as your feet will carry you

into a crowd to protect yourself.

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If it doesn’t feel right … It usually isn’t. The hair that rises up on

your neck is your first attempt at your body giving you a warning that

something is not right. I felt that very same thing the first time I laid

eyes on the man that held me hostage. Although he looked to my

eyes to be an older man, my heart said run and that is what I did. But,

in that second he knew that I knew he was bad news. I was caught in

his snare and I did not even know him. He was a predator and I was

his victim, only I was already his victim months before I ever knew of

him. He had a plan for every plan I made to get away from him. I was

blind to the eyes that were watching me from afar. I saw people

reacting differently towards me, but I had no idea why and I didn’t ask

questions. I am asking you to be aware and trust your instincts.

You can not lose what you’ve never had.

BE WEARY OF FOLLOWING SOMEONE WHO SAYS, “COME

AND GO WITH ME I WILL TELL YOU WHEN WE GET THERE.”

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Remember when I said that Life is a privilege? You can not go back

and make things right when a life is taken away. You hold your life in

the palm of your hands. Handle it carefully and it will serve you well.

Think about whom you are sharing your life with and consider your

actions. When you are young life seems as if it owes you everything,

but in reality it is a precious gift and it is priceless. To follow

someone without considering the consequences is like handing

your life over to them. How often do you hear on the news a

grieving mother saying, “I asked him not to go with them!” or “I heard

a knock on the door and he left out and that’s the last time I ever saw

him.” Life is fleeting as it is … why give it away.

When life has taught you a few lessons you can focus on your

FUTURE PEARLS!

FUTURE PEARLS

All of your life you heard the term, DREAM BIG. My slogan is, “Hold

your head up high and keep your dreams alive!” I say that slogan

to myself even when times get hard. You must hold onto hope of a

better day.

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Many people who have endured a difficult struggle in life have risen

up above the clouds of despair and they became very successful and

those people are looked at in awe. It can seem to many people that

this success is impossible to reach. But I say to you to Dream Big

and know that each day of life filled with pearls of wisdom, you

can see that you can achieve magnificent accomplishments in your

life.

Know that KNOWLEDGE IS POWER ! Of course this is another one

of those terms that you’ve heard all of your life. But I stand here

before you and I see the future. Imagine that you are sitting here

chosen from among so very many that was rejected or could not

afford to be here, but here you are.

FOCUS ON GETTING A GREAT EDUCATION! You might say to

me; “Look, I am in college … what are you talking about?” Well I

challenge you to go and sit at a shelter for a day or two and ask

questions and you will see that some of them have many college

degrees, but they are broken spirits. They got great book

knowledge, but they got lost somewhere along the way.

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True education is learning to survive through trials and

tribulations. It rains on the good and it rains on the bad. Some

successful people can not tolerate having to start over to regain their

fortunes so they just give up. I wish I could have had the opportunity

that you are having today. You see, I don’t remember a day of school.

I don’t remember a single teacher or classmate. Because of the

choice I made to save my children I live with amnesia. I was told to go

on Social Security. I was told that I would always need someone to

care for me. Even though I am not rich, I have been a casting director

and now I own a publishing company. Somebody said I was a

Nobody one day and I said this slogan without hesitation, “I am the

Nobody that makes every other Nobody Somebody Special!”

You see I am more than a Somebody, I am a Child of God!

I AM SURE YOU CAN THINK OF OTHER PEARLS … ADD THEM

TO YOUR BAG AS YOU WISH!

In the years to come life will supply you with pearls of knowledge that

you will pass on to your children or you will be a business owner or a

professor. Just take out your pearls of wisdom and share them every

now and then.

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Thank you is another powerful word that we take for granted. This is

a pearl of wisdom that you are taught the moment that you can reach

and grab for something. As an infant you are told to say thank you

and before you know it, it is second nature.

Thank you for having me here with you today! If you pass me on the

street and I don’t remember your face. Just remember mine and say

to others; “I met a Survivor today!”

THANK YOU

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