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Counseling confessionsStories from the field

Today’s confession: “Yikes!  My counselee just told me he wants to leave the Firm.”

What happens in the counseling relationship is usually confidential… until now.

We’ve gone out and asked your colleagues, “What really goes on in your counseling relationships?” We uncovered the drama and we’re sharing their true confessions with you. Did you miss some of the

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Seemingly out of the blue one day, my counselee called me and flat-out said, “I don’t think I want to work at Deloitte anymore.”  Whoa, talk about a bombshell. I mean, how exactly do you respond to that?  After what felt like 10 minutes of nothing but crickets, I tried to compose myself and suggested we schedule a time to meet in person, given the nature of his comment.  I consider myself to be a pretty experienced counselor, but as I hung up the phone, I couldn’t help but feel a bit overwhelmed by the situation (and relieved that I had bought myself some much needed time to get my thoughts together).  As his career advocate, I needed to understand what was really going on here, since he hadn’t given me any indication up until now that he was unhappy…

I decided that the best approach was to let my counselee do most of the talking. When we met the following afternoon, I began the conversation by asking him if he could share more about how he arrived at this decision. I mean, I would support his decision either way, but we’ve all had those days where we felt like we’d hit the wall, and I wanted to be sure he wasn’t reacting to some isolated event… Was it a problem on his project?  Did he over-commit himself to Firm activities?  Was he burnt out on travel? Was it just consulting in general? Something more personal? I knew it wasn’t my responsibility to convince him to stay, but it was my job to make sure he had clarity and had considered all of the options first.

As I continued to probe further, he began to really open up about his longer-term goals.  I’d tried to initiate similar discussions before, but my counselee was young in his career and still a bit unsure of what he wanted… apparently until now.  We had a long, thoughtful discussion, and in the end we both agreed that based on his interests, the nature of the work we do here might not be the best fit for him in the long run. 

After we spoke, I felt confident that he was indeed making the right decision.  It’s never an easy thing to suspend self-interest and watch your counselee leave the Firm, but I felt good about having asked the tough questions to make sure it was really the right choice. After digging deeper into the situation, I fully supported his choice, and I’m actually excited to see what he will accomplish as a Deloitte alum!

Do you have a counseling confession to share? Email us your story!

Consulting Leadership is committed to improving the quality and consistency of the counseling

experience across the practice. To help in our ongoing effort, check out the following counseling tools and resources:Counselors — Visit the My Role as a Counselor site to access counseling tools and learning resources. While you’re there, be sure to check out the Counselor Tips & Tricks to learn how to be a great counselor.Counselees — Check out the Counselee Tips & Tricks to learn how to make the most out of your counseling relationship.

As used in this document, “Deloitte” means Deloitte Consulting LLP, a subsidiary of Deloitte LLP. Please see www.deloitte.com/us/about for a detailed description of the legal structure of Deloitte LLP and its subsidiaries.

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