Writing Tutorial Workbook

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    Js Million -Dollar TipPrint or write out the 4 steps

    of this study plan.Put it near your desk.

    It will keep you focusedwhenever you study.

    START HERE: THE FAIL-PROOF DAILY TOEFL-STUDY PLAN

    ADAPTED FOR WRITING

    1. (3-4 minutes) Review new words or grammar from yesterday. Speak out loud andmake a few spontaneous sentences.

    2. (2-3 minutes) Review concepts from yesterdayslesson or new material study time.

    3. (15-20 minutes) Study some new concepts / material.

    a. Look at the topics you marked on pages 2, 3

    and 4. Each day, choose a clear new topic, goto the location of the information and study that thing. In other words, youll watch the corresponding videos in the Online TOEFL Workshop (OTW) orcarefully read the corresponding lessons in this workbook.

    b. Alternatively, you might need to review some grammar to support you.

    4. (20-30 minutes) Practice the new material.

    a. Controlled Conditions: After looking at the lessons, finish the practice materialin the workbook.

    b. Exam Conditions: After about 1 week of controlled conditions, you should testyourself in conditions that are similar to the TOEFL exam. This means:

    i. you need to carefully monitor your time;ii. you shouldnt use a dictionary or any websites to help; and

    iii. you should limit your distractions by logging out of Facebook andturning off your phone.

    NOW CONTINUE TO PAGES 2-4 TO CHOOSE YOUR LESSONS

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    YOUR WRITING STUDY PLAN

    This page and the next two pages are both a to do list of things you want to accomplish withwriting, as well as a table of contents that tells you the location of the information youre

    looking for.

    If you want to save paper, start by printing the first three pages. After you decide whichsections you want to review, you can just print the necessary pages.

    Put a check mark in the following sections that you want to cover. After youre done, watch Jaimes video called ---- in General Tips, online. Get cracking! (that is slang for start!)

    GENERAL THINGS THAT I WANT TO ACCOMPLISH

    Location of information

    Complete the quiz called General Writing Concepts Page 5 Improve my typing / use the keyboard faster Page 6

    Collect more sources that I can use for practice Libraries; official TOEFL site

    Improve my strategies for learning new words JaimeMiller.com/how-to-learn-toefl-vocabulary

    Improve my spelling OTW / Other Essential Skills

    Review the rules for English punctuation Page 7

    Learn 5 Neat Tricks to Sneak English into Every Day Page 44-45 Attend Jaimes free monthly group Q&A calls or

    schedule time with her for occasional lessonsSee the FAQ page for theschedule or [email protected]

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    THINGS I WANT TO ACCOMPLISH ON THE INTEGRATED WRITING

    Location of information

    The Basics what happens in the integrated writing? The video in OTW + page 9

    Understand what TOEFL wants Page 10 and 12

    5 Score-Limiting Myths and 5 Score-Boosting Tactics Page 11 + video in OTW

    Read some model integrated essays written by Jaime Page 15 through 18

    Review Jaimes Ultra -Targeted TOEFL Grammar

    o Subject / Verb Agreement + Final s

    o Uncountable Nouns

    o Past Guesses

    [email protected]

    to request your free copy.

    Review vocabulary for the integrated writing

    o Learn how to permanently remember vocab

    o Print the Useful Phrases and put it on my wall

    o Take phrases from Jaimes real model essays andmake flashcards

    o Rawdon Wyatts book, Check Your Vocab TOEFL

    Video in OTW

    Pages 13 and 14

    Pages 15 through 18

    OTW / Other Essential Skills

    Practice by writing ____ integrated essays in the next ______ days

    Ask my trusted friend, ____________________, to read my essays and identify myweaknesses

    Decide on my TOEFL test day plan and make a review sheet of topics to remember in thecar, while I go to TOEFL.

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    THINGS I WANT TO ACCOMPLISH ON THE INDEPENDENT WRITING

    Location of information

    The Basics what happens in the independent writing? The video in OTW + page 19

    Understand what TOEFL wants Page 20 and 24

    5 Score-Limiting Myths and 5 Score-Boosting Tactics The video in OTW + page 21

    Identify fascinating topics YOU can write about Pages 22 and 23

    Brainstorm Killer Ideas Pages 25 through 27

    Craft Super-Specific Thesis Sentences Page 28 and 29

    Eliminate I & You / Hide Yourself Pages 30 and 31

    Perfect Body-Paragraphs with Wrap-Up Sentences Page 32 through 37

    Read some model essays by Jaimes students Page 39-43 Review Jaimes Ultra -Targeted TOEFL Grammar

    o Subject / Verb Agreement + Final s

    o Uncountable Nouns

    o If sentences

    o How t o use whereas and on the other hand

    [email protected]

    to request your free copy.

    Review vocabulary for the independent writing

    o

    Learn how to permanently remember vocabo Print the Useful Phrases and put it on my wall

    o Rawdon Wyatts book, Check Your Vocab TOEFL

    Video in OTWPage 38

    OTW / Other Essential Skills

    Practice by writing ____ independent essays in the next ______ days

    Ask my trusted friend, ____________________, to read my essays and identify myweaknesses

    Decide on my TOEFL test day plan and make a review sheet of topics to remember in thecar, while I go to TOEFL.

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    OTHER ESSENTIALS: GENERAL WRITING CONCEPTS

    Match the concepts with their definition.

    1 ____Topic development A the end of an essay

    2 ____Introduction B the way you build, support and justifyyour opinion

    3 ____Thesis C the beginning of an essay

    4 ____Body paragraphs D the one sentence that captures the essenceof your / the writers opinion

    5 ____Conclusion E the symbols that help show grammaticalorganization like , . ! ? ( )

    6 ____To make a typo F the parts of an essay that give details and aclear explanation7 ____Punctuation G to accidentally type the letters of a word in

    the wrong order and make a mistake8 ____To play devil s advocate H to review and check for errors

    9 ____To edit I to argue the opposite opinion

    To check your answers...

    1. Log into the Online TOEFL Workshop.2. Under 24+ Writing, you can see the Other Essential Skills for Writing section. 3. Then click General Writing Concepts. After finishing the quiz there, you will see the

    correct answers.

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    OTHER ESSENTIALS: FAST TYPING

    Lucky for you, American children also absolutely despise typing, so hundreds of people havealready invested in little free inte rnet games to seduce kids into believing typing is fun.

    4. Log into the Online TOEFL Workshop.5. Click 24+ Writing and you can see the Other Essential Skills for Writing section. 6. Then click Fast Typing Skills to see a list of links and websites you c an use.

    TYPING SPEED PROGRESS CHART

    Occasionally check your typing speed. Its best to use the spontaneous typing word counter athttp://www.spikex.net/FreeformWPM/

    Date WPM(Words Per Minute)

    How do you feel?What do you notice about typing?

    http://www.spikex.net/FreeformWPM/http://www.spikex.net/FreeformWPM/http://www.spikex.net/FreeformWPM/
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    OTHER ESSENTIALS: PUNCUTATION

    For resources to learn more about punctuation, please log into the Online TOEFL Workshop.After clicking 24+ Writing, you will see Other Essential Skills. Click there and then select

    Puncutation.

    AN OVERVIEW OF THE CONCEPTS

    In English, punctuation is the category for all of these symbols: . , ; : ! ( ) /

    Punctuation is annoying, but its extre mely important for your writing. If your punctuation is bad, then your writing looks chaotic and childish. Good punctuation makes your writing lookprofessional and adult.

    Improving your punctuation is one of the easiest ways to improve your TOEFL writing score.

    Can match the concepts below with each symbol?

    . , : ; ( ) ! /1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

    a slash a colon a semi-colona period parentheses an apostrophequotation marks a comma an exclamation mark

    PUNCUTATION ALSO INC LUDES

    a space the white area between words.

    an indent You can create an indent if you push the space bar five times to create a whitespace on the left side, at the top of each paragraph.

    a line This is different from sentences. The paragraph below has 6 lines and 4 sentences.

    One of the reasons that its important to build a newcommunity center in my town is because young people needa place to go. Currently, people hang out in shopping malls,

    but this encourages them to buy things they dont need. Ifthey were at a community center, they could just see eachother. This is why such an addition is essential.

    This paragraphhas 6 lines.

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    OTHER ESSENTIALS: CALCULATING YOUR SCORE

    Your two pieces of writing are read and scored by 2 certified raters. They give a score between 0 and 5 for both essays. Then, they take the average of your score and add it to the

    average of your independent writing. You can only calculate your complete TOEFL writingscore if you have both an integrated and an independent writing score.

    Integrated score + Independent score = a number 2 = Writing Rubric Mean

    After you have your Writing Rubric Mean, you can convert it to the final TOEFL score:

    Writing Rubric Mean Final Scaled Score5.00 30

    4.75 294.50 284.25 274.00 253.75 243.50 223.25 213.00 202.75 182.50 172.25 152.00 141.75 121.50 111.25 101.00 8

    0 0

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    INTEGRATED: THE BASICS

    After you watch the video for The Integrated Writing: The Basics, fill in the sentences belowwith the correct information.

    WHAT HAPPENS?

    The writing section happens first / second / third / last at the TOEFL iBT test. The integrated

    writing is the first essay task on TOEFL. I have ______ minutes to read the academic text. The

    text is about __________ words long. I should / dont have to take notes during that time. Next,

    Ill listen for ______ minutes. I can listen to the lecture ______ time. I should / dont have to

    take notes during that time. After that, I will see a prompt on the computer screen. The prompt

    isnt always the same but it will sound something like, ____________________________________

    ______________________________. Ill have ______ minutes to write my summary. My target

    is between _______ and _______ words. If I write more than that, there is / isnt a penalty.

    ____(#) TOEFL graders will evaluate my essay. They will give me a score with a number

    between _____ and _____. After, they take the average of those numbers and convert it a score

    between 0 and 30. There are 3 criteria that TOEFL graders analyze in my writing: (1) ________

    _____________________, (2)____________________________________________________________,

    and (3) ____________________________________________________________________________.

    WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR ME?

    I feel confident about my ability to ______________________ and I think it will be an asset for

    me on the integrated writing. However, I personally think that my biggest weakness with the

    integrated writing could be ________________________________________________. In order to

    improve that weakness, I think I should ___________________________________. As a target, I

    would like to practice writing one / two / three / four or more integrated writing before I take

    TOEFL. Some reputable sources for practice that Ill use are ______________________________

    _________________________________________________________________________________.

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    INTEGRATED: UNDERSTAND WHAT TOEFL WANTS ANALYZE HOW THE TASK IS PHRASED

    If the lecture challenges the information in the reading passage, the writing task will usually

    be phrased in one of the following ways:

    Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they cast doubt onspecific points made in the reading passage.

    Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they challengespecific claims/arguments made in the reading passage.

    Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to specifically explain how theyanswer the problems raised in the reading passage.

    If the lecture supports or strengthens the information in the reading passage, the writing taskwill usually be phrased in one of the following ways:

    Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to specifically explain how theysupport the explanations in the reading passage.

    Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to specifically explain how theystrengthen specific points made in the reading passage.

    IMPORTANT CLARIFICATION:I would like to thank my student, Mohamed Abdel-Moamen for hiskeen observation that there are actually 3 types of phrases (even thoughETS divides them into 2 groups):

    Partial contradiction -- The professor agrees slightly with thepassage but also contradicts each point with some kind of data.

    Complete contradiction -- The professor has a totally differentview for each point.

    No contradiction at all The professor agrees totally andsupports the passage in every point.

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    INTEGRATED: 5 SCORE-LIMITING MYTHSAND 5 SCORE-BOOSTING TACTICS

    While you watch the video for this, take notes on the myths (represented by a skull and

    crossbones symbol) and the score-boosting tactics (represented by a smiley face).

    1

    2

    3

    4

    5

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    INTEGRATED: THE ANATOMY THAT TOEFL GRADERS PREFER

    If you watched the video, 5 Score -Limiting Myths and 5 Score- Boosting Tactics, thenhopefully you noticed the image of the ideal paragraphs in Tactic 2. Go back and revie w it if

    youre not sure , or need to check your answers but

    In the diagram here, each square represents a paragraph inyour essay and its divided into a place for listening andreading information.

    Label the numbers with their sources and types ofinformation:

    - Listening, generalization of main idea- Listening, argument/statistics #1

    - Listening, argument/ statistics #2- Listening, argument / statistics #3- Listening, conclusion / brief restatement- Reading, generalization of main idea- Reading, argument/statistics #1- Reading, argument/ statistics #2- Reading, argument / statistics #3- Reading, conclusion / brief restatement

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    INTEGRATED: USEFUL PHRASES

    The following phrases are guidelines, but do not memorize them and use the same thing everysingle time, or your writing will be boring.

    WAYS TO REFER TO THE LISTENINGINFO:

    The speaker The professor The lecturer (person) The lecture (thing)

    WAYS TO REFER TO THE READINGINFO:

    The author The passage The text

    SUPPORTIVE RELATIONSHIP

    ... , too. also claims / says / states supports reinforces backs up the claim that... agrees with Similarly, ... reflects...

    CONTRADICTORY RELATIONSHIP:

    questions if is skeptical about whether or not contradicts / challenges the idea that explains / argues that i s not so effective/good/useful.

    PHRASES TO IDENTIFY PROBLEMS IN THE READING:

    The reading overlooks critical data about The author ignores [thing] The author simply doesnt mention [thing] The authors theory simply doesnt match with the reality explained by the professor.

    OTHER IMPRESSIVE WORDS TO USE:

    contends that demonstrates explores shortcomings (plural noun)

    Js Million -Dollar TipPut this page of phrases on

    the wall near yourcomputer so that you see

    them every time you sitdown to write. It will speed

    up your progress.

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    INTEGRATED: PARAGRAPH ORGANIZATION / PHRASES

    GOAL #1: INTRODUCTION PARAGRAPH 1 OR 2 SENTENCES

    In the first sentence, introduce the main idea of the lecture with one of the following choices.Avoid including specific details here:

    The lecturer questions the idea that...[reading belief] The lecturer explains / argues that .... is (not) [adjective].

    Then, in the second sentence, explain the main idea of the reading but again, avoid details:

    However / On the other hand The author states that / claims that / argues that... [don't repeat yourself]

    GOAL #2: FIRST MAIN DETAIL / BODY PARAGRAPH 1 3 TO 5 SENTENCES

    Choose an appropriate way to introduce the listening:o According to a study, .... [details from the listening]o The first area of dispute is

    Then tie it to the text:o This directly contradicts / questions the author's idea / theory / claim that...

    GOAL #3: NEXT MAIN DETAIL / BODY PARAGRAPH 2 3 TO 5 SENTENCES

    Choose another way to introduce the listening:o Researchers also learned that... [details from the research from the listening]o Another controversial issue /area is

    Then link back to the text:o The author argued that... ,.,. but without any proof.

    GOAL #4: FINAL DETAIL / OPTIONAL BODY PARAGRAPH 3 3 TO 5 SENTENCES

    If theres a third point, start again with the listening:o The final point of the research was that....o The final conclusion was that...o The final point of the debat e/controversy is about

    And then end back up with the relationship to the text:o Again, the author's theory was challenged.

    GOAL #5: SHORT CONCLUSION PARAGRAPH 1 OR 2 SENTENCES

    Basically .... whereas.... Summing up...

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    INTEGRATED: MODEL ESSAY1

    SOURCE: ETSS WEBSITE,QUICK PRACTICE VOLUME 3 , PAGE 21 HTTP://WWW.ETS.ORG/TOEFL/QUICKPREP

    Relationship of the lecture and text: Contradictory; historical debate

    Word count: 304

    The professor argues that The Ch evaliers memoir is an accurate and reliable historicaldocument even though the reading tries to poke three holes in the original authors credibility.

    The first area of dispute was The Chevaliers wealth. This man had lots of assets that were both

    liquid and fixed. His liquid assets likely paid for his lifestyle. However, if he wanted to getmore money, he had to convert his property into cash. During that waiting period, theprofessor argues that he might have borrowed money from various sources. When histransaction came through, he could repay the loan. Because of this, The Chevalier was notnecessarily poor, like the text argued.

    Another controversial issue was The Chevaliers reported conversation with Voltaire. Friendsand servants who lived with The Chevalier later in life confirmed that he used many notes and

    journals while writing his memoir. The professor is convinced that he took decent notes of histalks with Voltaire, and then later referred to them. Again, this means that The Chevalier s

    memoir might be more accurate than the text claims.The final issue is that of his escape from prison. According to the professor, The Chevalierdidnt have as many political allies as other prisoners in the Venetian jail. In theory, those otherprisoners could also have escaped by bribing the guards yet they didnt escape. Only TheChevalier escaped, and that makes his tale of digging a hole through the ceiling more

    believable. Furthermore, the professor cites an old official Venetian document that detailsrepairs for the ceiling of a jail cell The Chevaliers jail cell. However, the text ignores thesepotential explanations.

    In sum, the lecture explains why scholars today can trust the veracity of The Chevaliers

    memoir. The professor has reasonable explanations for all of the issues raised by the reading.

    http://www.ets.org/toefl/quickprephttp://www.ets.org/toefl/quickprephttp://www.ets.org/toefl/quickprep
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    INTEGRATED: MODEL ESSAY2

    SOURCE: ETSS BOOK, OFFICIAL TOEFL IBT TESTS WITH AUDIO ,PRACTICE TEST 1, PAGE 58

    Relationship of the lecture and text: Contradictory; historical debate

    Word Count: 275

    Apparently theres been some historical debate about whether dinosaurs were reptiles orendotherms (mammals or birds which maintain constant body temperature). The professortries to convince her class that dinosaurs were not actually endotherms, despite what they readfrom the author.

    First is the issue of dinosaur fossils being found in Antarctic zones. The professor explains itwas quite natural for dinosaurs to be in these regions because, so long ago, those regions wereactually warm. She says that even non-endotherms were there, and so dinosaurs could have

    been among them, and when the weather got colder, they simply migrated like modernanimals. In other words, there are rational explanations for the presence of fossils in thoseregions, and dinosaurs didnt have to be endotherms.

    Second is the issue of skeletal structure. Animals with their legs under their skeletons (ratherthan on the side, like crocodiles) are typically endothermic. The professor argues that dinosaurskeletons evolved to support heavy creatures, and this is the reason that their legs are under,

    rather than on the side, of their hips. The authors interpretation of the facts is not shared bymany scholars in the field.

    Finally the professor address es dinosaur bone structure. Modern reptiles bones show growthrings and thickening both of these indicate that at certain times, the animal grows very slowly,and then very rapidly. True endotherms, like humans, do not have these growth rings.However, dinosaur bones have similar rings. Because of this, the professor refuses to accept theauthors claim that Haversian canals are proof of being an endotherm.

    Basically, the professor illuminates the ongoing scholarly debate about dinosaurs as reptiles orendotherms.

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    INTEGRATED: MODEL ESSAY3

    SOURCE: BARRONS BO OK, WRITING FOR THE TOEFL IBT BY LIN LOUGHEED (3 RD EDITION), PAGE 50

    Relationship of the lecture and text: Contradictory; debate of an interpretation of research

    Word Count: 224

    The professor asks us to question the effectiveness of anti-smoking campaigns by analyzing allof the available statistics, instead of jumping to conclusions. This is because the text promotesthe idea that anti-smoking campaigns end teen smoking forever because the author overlookscritical data from the end of the research period.

    The professor describes full research which compared two surveys: one that was conducted atthe end of the anti-smoking campaign, and one that was done three months later. Both surveysasked participants to (1) describe their level of awareness of the anti-smoking campaign, and (2)think about the chances of them smoking in the future. The first survey had very positiveresults. More than 50% of students said they had heard of the campaign or seen brochures andadvertisements, and 40% of students guessed they would smoke in the future. However, threemonths later, the results were quite different. Less than 30% of students remembered the

    brochures and advertisements and 58% guessed they would start smoking. In other words, theanti-smoking campaign was not as effective as the author would like to believe. The text justsummarized the optimistic results of the first survey and highlighted the importance ofspending money on anti-smoking campaigns.

    When the statistics from the second survey are considered, the professor says that moreaccurate conclusions can be made.

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    INTEGRATED: MODEL ESSAY4

    SOURCE: BARRONS BO OK, WRITING FOR THE TOEFL IBT BY LIN LOUGHEED (3 RD EDITION), PAGE 51

    Relationship of the lecture and text: Supporting; similar research findings

    Word Count: 228

    The professor claims that music should be seriously considered as a way of increasing profits ina business. This supports the theory described in the text that music is just one of many waysthat businesses can influence consumer behavior.

    The first study that the professor describes occurred in restaurants. In one group of restaurants,slow music was played, and in the other group, fast music was played. The profits and lengthof time that patrons stayed in the restaurant was compared. On average, diners who listened toslow music stayed 15 minutes longer and spent $4 per person more than those who heard fastmusic. This confirms the texts claim that a good music system is a sound business investment.

    The other study tracked college students as they shopped for clothing. When stores played popmusic, shoppers had a better perception of the store and tended to stay and browse longer.However, stores that played older music didnt do as well with the same age group of shoppers.Again, the reading confirms this by saying that stores can do a lot to influence the shoppers.

    Neither th e professor nor the author claims that a customers mood can be completelycontrolled inside a store or restaurant. Rather, they both cite examples that indicate thatcustomers will spend more money if they are happier from listening to appealing music.

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    INDEPENDENT: THE BASICS

    After you watch the video for The Independent Writing: The Basics, fill in the sentences below with the correct information.

    WHAT HAPPENS?

    The writing section happens first / second / third / last at the TOEFL iBT test. The integrated

    writing is the second essay task on TOEFL. I have ______ minutes to finish it. During that time

    I should write about my opinion. My tone should/nt be formal.

    My target is between _______ and _______ words. If I write more than that, there is / isnt a

    penalty. ____(#) TOEFL graders will evaluate my essay. They will give me a score with a

    number between _____ and _____. After, they take the average of those numbers and convert it

    a score between 0 and 30. There are 3 criteria that TOEFL graders analyze in my writing:

    (1) __________________________________________________________, (2)____________________

    ______________________________________, and (3) ______________________________________.

    WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR ME?

    I feel confident about my ability to ______________________ and I think it will be an asset for

    me on the independent writing. However, I personally think that my biggest weakness with

    the independent writing could be ____________________________________. In order to improve

    that weakness, I think I should ____________________________________. As a target, I would

    like to practice writing one / two / three / four or more independent essays before I take TOEFL.

    Some reputable sources for practice that Ill use ar e _______________________________________

    ___________________________________________________________________________________.

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    INDEPENDENT: UNDERSTAND WHAT TOEFL WANTS ANALYZE HOW THE TASK IS PHRASED

    Ive carefully reviewed all 200+ of the official writing prompts in ETS Official Guide to the

    TOEFL iBT, 4th edition , and Ive identified what I call three main types of prompts: basic,medium and complex. (These are not official ways to refer to the categories.)

    IMPORTANT CLARIFICATION:Even though it seems like TOEFL is separating the prompts intodifferent types, do not be confused! My high-scoring students alwaysfollow the structure I recommend on the following pages andorganization when they answer any of these 3 styles of prompt. Illteach you how to write an impressive complex style essay each time.

    BASIC: CHOOSE A SIDE AND EXPLAIN YOUR OPINION.

    Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Othersthink that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specificreasons and examples to support your answer.

    MEDIUM: EXPLAIN YOUR POTENTIAL OPINION IN A HYPOTHETICAL

    SCENARIO.

    Note: These prompts usually have unreal situations. Just imagine and think about what youwould do or maybe you experienced something like it in real life, so you could explain that eventin a new context. These hypothetical scenarios are a great place to use If grammar.

    A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community.Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

    COMPLEX: COMPARE AND DISCUSS ADVANTAGES OR DISADVANTAGES.

    Note: These prompts usually have 3 directions. Just read carefully and make sure to write ananswer for each part of the question and youll be fine!

    When people move to another country, some of them decide to follow the customs of thenew country. Others prefer to keep their own customs. Compare these two choices.Which one do you prefer? Support your answer with specific details.

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    INDEPENDENT: 5 SCORE-LIMITING MYTHSAND 5 SCORE-BOOSTING TACTICS

    While you watch the video for this, take notes on the myths (represented by a skull and

    crossbones symbol) and the score-boosting tactics (represented by a smiley face).

    1

    2

    3

    4

    5

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    INDEPENDENT: IDENTIFY FASCINATING THINGS YOU CAN WRITE ABO

    Score-Boosting Tactic #1 is to be passionate when youre writing. There are many areas of yourlife which you can use as background information for independent essays. Think about and

    take notes. (If you speak out loud, youll get extra practice for the Speaking section!)

    DONT FORGET: YOU ARE FASCINATING.

    What are your hobbies? Which sports or musical instruments do you play?

    What interesting life lessons have you learned from your hobbies?

    What interesting life lessons have you learned from your family / parents / children?

    Where do you live? Why is it interesting / horrible?

    Where have you lived? Why is it interesting / horrible?

    What are the 3 most important things that have happened in your life? Why?

    What life lessons have you learned because you are learning English?

    What do you think is the biggest problem your country faces? How could it be solved?

    What is the biggest problem the world faces? How could it be solved?

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    I LOVE TRAVELLING (MOST ENGLISH TEACHERS DO). MY STUDENTS COMEFROM AROUND THE WORLD. THEY HAVE SO MANY INTERESTING STORIESABOUT THEIR HOME COUNTRIES AND CULTURES. YOU HAVE THOSE, TOO.

    How do people live in your country? What are the houses, schools, transportation, roads,shopping centers and grocery stores like?

    What do you know a lot about? (This could be about your career, or your hobby.)

    What debate is happening in your country right now? What do you think about it?

    What issue is your city struggling with right now? What is your opinion?

    What is something you wish you could change about your city or country? Why?

    What is something positive you would like to share with the world about your country? Why?

    Is English changing your countrys local culture? Do people complain about it, or do theyaccept it? What do you think?

    Is technology totally changing the people in your life? How do you feel about all these newgadgets?

    Was there a time when you gave up on something? Alternatively, have you persisted withsomething even when it seemed crazy? What happened? What were the results for you?

    How does your country protect (or not protect) the environment? What do you think aboutthat?

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    INDEPENDENT: THE ANATOMY THAT TOEFL GRADERS PREFER

    GENERAL SKELETON FOR THE WHOLE ESSAY

    In the picture here, each square represents a paragraph in youressay.

    Label the paragraphs with these concepts:

    conclusion / introduction / thesis / body paragraph

    (you will write body paragraph twice)

    GENERAL SKELETON FOR THE BODY PARAGRAPHS

    In the picture here, each square represents a section ofyour body paragraph in your essay. Label thenumbers and parts of the paragraph with these fourconcepts:

    topic sentence / reasons and examples

    opposite argument / wrap-up sentence

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    INDEPENDENT: BRAINSTORM KILLER IDEAS

    Did you watch the brainstorm videos online? If not, that might be a good place to start.

    After that, get a timer and set it for between 90 and 120 seconds. Work with the following pagesand brainstorm ideas for each prompt. Remember, the ideas that oppose your thesis (yourpersonal opinion) can be used strategically in the body paragraphs later, b ut its reallyimportant to start thinking of them now.

    EXERCISE 1

    Prompt: In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think thisis a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

    Reasons for teens to have a job Reasons for teens to only study

    EXERCISE 2

    Prompt: In your opinion, what are the qualities of a good supervisor (boss)? Use specific detailsand examples in your answer.

    Behaviors & qualities of a good boss Behaviors & qualities of a bad boss

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    EXERCISE 3

    Prompt: What change would make your hometown more appealing to people your age? Usespecific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

    The change we need is

    Reasons we need this change(current problems)

    Reasons this change might not be so effective

    EXERCISE 4

    Prompt: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be

    required to study history in high school. Use specific reasons and examples to support youropinion.

    Reasons (specific group of people) shouldstudy history in high school

    Reasons (specific group of people) wont benefit that much from studying history

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    EXERCISE 5

    Prompt: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot ofmoney are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    EXERCISE 6

    Prompt: It has been said, Not everything that is learned is contained in books. Compare andcontrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In youropinion, which source is more important? Why?

    KEEP GOING! FIND MORE BY SEARCHINGGOOGLE FOR ETS TOEFL WRITING PROMPT S.

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    INDEPENDENT: CRAFTING SUPER-SPECIFIC THESIS SENTENCES

    FIRST, ASSIGN YOUR THESIS TO A GROUP OF PEOPLE.

    You should always write about what you know. You probably belong to at least one of thefollowing groups. To boost your score, simply focus on a specific group for that essay --

    students (high school? university? graduate? ) other people who have your career:

    o health care professionals (doctors? nurses? pharmacists? physical therapists?)o lawyers / teachers / writers / ?? something else??

    foreigners / non-native English speakers X native-English speakers (Americans / Brits) adults / parents (or their opposites, young people / children) people from (write your towns name) / (your countrys name) X people from another

    country

    ANALYZE WHY A THESIS IS WEAK, OR SPECIFIC.

    Prompt Weak Thesis Super-Specific Thesis

    When people succeed, it isbecause of hard work. Luck hasnothing to do with success. Doyou agree or disagree with the

    quotation above?

    You cant rely on luck to succeedin life; hard work is moreimportant.

    (This writer is a student) For students, studying andworking hard is a huge factor insuccess; being lucky in aclassroom or library is rarely areason that students succeed.

    (This writer is a doctor) When healthcare professionalsare successful, it is oftenbecause of their knowledge, andprofessionalism. Suchinformation and behavior werelearned over a long time theydidnt result from random luckalone.

    Some people prefer to live in asmall town. Others prefer to live

    in a big city. Which place wouldyou prefer to live? Use specificreasons and answers to supportyour answer.

    I think that big cities are definitelybetter than small cities.

    (This wr i te r i s A mer ican andlives in another country)

    After living in a small town in

    Northern California, its clearthere are many advantages ofliving in a city like Istanbul, whichis one of the biggest cities in theregion.

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    PRACTICE WRITING STRONG, SUPER-SPECIFIC THESES:

    Use the exercises from the previous pages (where you brainstormed) and write some gorgeous

    theses.

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    CHANGING YOUR VOICE ELIMINATING I AND YOU

    Its important to use your life and experiences to write your essays. What else would you use?Its totally logical to write about yourself, and you should use your life and experiences,

    however, you can raise your score by hiding yourself in the essay .

    EXAMPLE 1: IMPROVING YOUR THESIS

    Acceptable Thesis Score-Maximizing ThesisAs a mother of a toddler, I prefer indirectways of communicating with my friends.

    Mothers of toddlers typically prefer indirectways of communicating with their friends.

    What did we change? We eliminated I and talked about the group (mothers of youngchildren) in general. We also replaced my with their.

    EXAMPLE 2: IMPROVING YOUR REASONS / EXAMPLE PARAGRAPH

    Acceptable Reasons In A Paragraph Score-Maximizing Reasons In A ParagraphIf you spend time with your friends in person,for example, you can create good memories.Also hard times can be adjusted to more easilywith support and care of your close friends. Ifyou are in the same room, its better thantalking on the phone. If I have no opportunityto talk to my friends, personally I will behappy to use all available types ofcommunication. I am sure there is nothingwrong with it, but I also can't deny theobvious pros of face-to-face communication.

    Spending time with friends in person, forexample, can create good memories. Also hardtimes can be adjusted to more easily withsupport and care of close friends. Being in thesame room is better than talking on the phone.If people dont have the opportunity to betogether, they would probably be happy to useany available type of communication.However, the obvious pros of face-to-facecommunication are undeniable.

    What did we change? Again, we eliminated I and you and used people or theyinstead. Also, we changed many of the if you sentences to a sentence style that is great formaking generalizations: verb-ing subject + verb (Example: Spending time with friends cancreate good memories.)

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    PRACTICE ELIMINATING I AND YOU :

    Look at a few of your recent essays and rewrite the problematic sentences to eliminate I andyou phrases. If youre not comfortable making verb -ing generalization sentences, practicethe relevant pages from the Ultra-Targeted TOEFL Grammar Guide (get it free by [email protected] and requesting it nicely).

    NEED MORE HELP?

    Remember, if you still feel stuck, you should consider an occasional, one-hour lesson with Jaimeto focus on the problematic issues. Alternatively, you could get Digital, Personalized Feedback.To learn about the options now, email [email protected] say that youve bought thewriting tutorial already, and explain what you would like to do.

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    INDEPENDENT: PERFECTING YOUR BODY PARAGRAPHSWITH WRAP-UP SENTENCES

    This page has a detailed explanation and example for a prompt. You can start the practice on

    page 28. On page 31 you can read a students essay and add wrap -up sentences to his essay.

    EXAMPLE AND EXPLANATION:

    PROMPT:

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? New fathers should get a paid vacationfrom work when they have a baby.

    JAIME AGREED AND BRA INSTORMED THESE REAS ONS FOR TOPICSENTENCES:

    help the mother after shes given birth; take care of her and baby; develop stronger bonds with his family

    make the father a more productive employee; come back to work with fresh energy conclusion: ultimately, more stronger families are good for society

    BODY PARAGRAPH #1:

    Topic Sentence: First, a new father needs this time off because he will help makestronger bonds with his family.

    Reasons / Examples: After a mother gives birth, she is physically very exhausted. Sheneeds to be taken care of and if her husband helps out, she will probably have moreenergy and recover more quickly. Also, the father will get to know his child.

    If: Babies grow so quickly and if a father is just at work during this period, he will missthe miraculous beginning of his child s life.

    Although / Comparison: Even though some fathers might be nervous about becomingfathers, mothers might be just as nervous.

    Wrap-up: Its best if both parents experience this newness and uncertainty together because they will have a deep understanding of the commitment and energy it will taketo raise their child.

    BODY PARAGRAPH #2:

    Topic Sentence: Its also very reasonable to assume that a new father will be moreproductive and energetic at work after some time off.

    If / Reasons: If a new father stayed at work, he would probably feel that his attention isconstantly divided between thinking of work projects and wondering about his wife andnewborn.

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    Although / Comparison / Example: Its true that taking care of a newborn baby isntreally the same as having a vacation. However, the new parents will spend a lot of timeat home and its certainly a break from routine. Hopefully he and the mother will havetime to play with the baby and make memories.

    Wrap-up: When a new father has some time off, it will help him return to work withfresh energy and the company could ultimately benefit from that.

    THE PRACTICE CONTINUES ON THE NEXT PAGE.

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    PROMPT 2:

    Many students choose to attend schools or universities outside their home countries. Why dosome students study abroad? Use specific reasons and details in your answer.

    SUPER-SPECIFIC THESIS:

    BODY PARAGRAPH #1:

    NOTE! Be careful not to talk about I too much. Use your life, but hide yourself (review pages 24-25).

    Topic Sentence: One of the reasons for this is because

    Wrap-up: When

    BODY PARAGRAPH #2:

    Topic Sentence: Another obvious rea son for studying abroad is

    Wrap-up: This is why

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    PROMPT 3:

    Many parts of the world are losing important natural resources, such as forests, animals, orclean water. Choose one resource that is disappearing and explain why it needs to be saved.Use specific reasons and details in your answer.

    The resource that needs to be saved in my country / region:

    SUPER-SPECIFIC THESIS:

    BODY PARAGRAPH #1:

    NOTE! Be sure to make specific generalizations about your place. You can create useful statistics or facts.

    Topic Sentence: The first reason for this is that

    Wrap-up: It is essential to in order to

    BODY PARAGRAPH #2:

    Topic Sentence: Another obvious reason for protecting is

    Wrap-up: This is why

    IF YOU STILL LACK CONFIDENCE WITH THIS, CONTINUE THE SAME ACTIVITYWITH 3-5 MORE PROMPTS. DO A GOOGLE SEARCH FOR ETS TOEFL WRITING

    PROMPT.

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    PRACTICE 2: ADDING WRAP-UP SENTENCES TO A STUDENTS ESSAY

    STEP 1:

    In the following essay, fix the body paragraphs (#2 and #3) so that they each have a wrap-upsentence that is logical and consistent, based on the authors topic sentence for each paragraph.

    I grew up in a small town in Japan. When I was a child, I didn't recognize that myhometown is in the countryside, until I moved to a city for my studies. Now, I reallyappreciate that I was raised up in such peaceful place and I'd recommend thecountryside as a good place to raise children.

    Firstly, young age children have to move around and play as much as they can. I believesuch kinds of activities support childrens proper evolution as they become adults. Ifthey were in a busy city, they could not run around fields or explore nature in their

    neighborhoods. Although small rural towns typically have limited access to education,nowadays, an Internet connection would solve such a problem. If the parents or teacherswould occasionally take them to cities, it would provide them good stimulation morethan staying in distracting cities all the time. In my experience, since I grew up in a smalltown, I love exercising and I am always curious in new situations. [Add a wrap-upsentence here]

    Secondly, Japanese people from the countryside are often kind to children even if theyare not relatives. However, in cities people don't like to be involved in another family'smatters -- especially regarding children. Seniors in a small town can easily scold theneighbors kids , but I cant imagine such situations in a city. [Add a wrap-up sentencehere]

    To sum up, I think the countryside has a good effect on children. Then if I can give apiece of advice to new parents, I would recommend that they raise their kids outside ofnoisy cities.

    STEP 2:

    Look at the paragraphs again. By speaking out loud, can you change the voice of the writer toeliminate the I phrases? Remember, our goal is to make statements that use the authorsexperience or opinion, but hide the I. Review pages 24- 25 if this concept isnt familiar.

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    INDEPENDENT: USEFUL PHRASES

    The following phrases are guidelines, but do not memorize them and use the same thing everysingle time, or your writing will be boring.

    SUPER-SPECIFIC THESIS

    Its easy to understand why [your super specific thesis]. Personally, I think [your super specific thesis]. In my experience as a [group name] , its clear to me that [opinion]. I believe there are two main reasons that [opinion].

    TOPIC SENTENCES FOR BODY PARAGRAPHS

    One of the reasons that [refer to the prompt] is because [main reason from brainstorming]. Another reason for [refer to the prompt] is because [main reason from brainstorming]. First, this is true / obvious / clear / necessary because [main reason from brainstorming]. It is also clear / obvious that [topic] is [main reason from brainstorming] because

    REASON / EXAMPLE SENTENCES

    Make generalizations and explain scenarios that happen to people in the group.

    IF SENTENCES

    Even if Otherwise

    ALTHOUGH / COMPARISONS

    Even though some might argue [alternative] , [your idea]. Although some people say [controversy] , [your opinion]. Some people say [controversial idea]. Despite that, [your idea]. [Controversial opinion]. That being said, [your opinion].

    WRAP-UP SENTENCES

    When [rephrase the reason from the topic sentence] [result] These are some of the reasons that [rephrase the topic sentence]. Because of this, its best if its clear that its necessary to

    Dont forget these first twomust be one sentence with a

    comma in the middle!

    Js Million -Dollar TipPut this page of phrases on the wall near your

    computer so that you see them every time you sitdown to write. It will speed up your progress.

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    REAL INDEPENDENT MODEL ESSAYS

    The following essays were written by students in the week before they took TOEFL; their scoreswere 27 or 29. After they took TOEFL, they reported to me that they used the same TRIAW

    organization that you see in the following essays. We know that their grammar / vocabularyhardly changed in the last week. You can refer to the following code of colored highlights forthe type of errors that were made by the writer.

    HOW YOU CAN BENEFIT FROM REVIEWING THE REAL MODEL ESSAYS:

    First, choose an essay and read it -- either #1, 2, 3 or 4. After that, ask yourself the followinganalysis questions. Keep notes in a digital document, or in your notebook.

    ANALYTICAL QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF ABOUT EACH MODEL ESSAY:

    1. What kind of mistakes did the writer make? (Hint: See the color code below.)2. Whats the writers thesis? 3. What are the writers two main reasons? (Hint: Search for the topic sentences i n each

    body paragraph.)4. In the first reason paragraph, which example does the writer use to play devils

    advocate?5. In the second reason paragraph, which example does the writer use to play devils

    advocate?6. What phrases does the writer use to wrap up each body paragraph? Does that wrap up

    sentence clearly link back to the paragraphs topic sentence? 7. How can you ensure that your writing emulates this essay?

    THE COLOR CODE FOR MISTAKES:

    Yellow a grammar error; generally an issue with the verb.

    Green an error with using a an the the of or s.Blue a vocabulary error; the writer should choose a more precise word.

    Pink an error with the logic; sometimes this is used for vocabulary and phrases which arerepetitive.

    Gray a typo / spelling or punctuation error.

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    INDEPENDENT: MODEL ESSAY1

    Writers Final TOEFL Writing Score: 27

    Word count: 360

    Is it a good idea for students to work while they are in school?

    Parents look always for methods to prepare their teenages for the adult life. One of the mostcontroversial way is to push teenages to take a pert-time job. Some think that it can be hard forthe teenages and it can break them instead of helping them. Others, think that it's the best wayto prepare children for the adult life and they advance that pert-time job encourages teens to bemore rensonpible. Personally, I think that pushing teenages to take a part-time job is a positivething.

    First, taking a part-time job is the only way that teenages can experiment ___ the real life andprepare them for adult life. Teenages are generally inside the parent's bubble. They dent touchthe real life. For example they don't have to work hard to get money to buy what they wouldlike. The only thing that they have to do is asking for the parent's generosity. Hence, they don'tgenearally value things correctly. As they will have to work hard, wake up early and sometimesleave the office late during a part-time job, they will, certainly, better value life and things. Eventhough some people might argue that a part-time job can break and harm these teenages, thiswill not happen if parents keep a close eyes to what their children do. Thus experimenting ___ apart-time job is crucial for teenages.

    Second, a part-time job can financially help both parents and teenages. After the financial crisismany parents found themselves unemployed or they have sought a decrease in their salaries. Inaddition, teenages increase their depenses as they diversify their activities and start looking foruniversities. The parents start, then, getting a lot of troubles to come to the needs of theirchildren, espacially when the family is composed of many teenages. Although, the money thatteenages get from a part-time job is not huge, it's certainly better than not thing. Therefore, apart-time job can be very helpfull for both of parents and teenages.

    In summary, a part-ime job is benefecial for the teenages as it's the only way to expriment thereal life and can help them. financially.

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    INDEPENDENT: MODEL ESSAY 2

    Writers F inal TOEFL Writing Score: 27

    Word count: 365

    Do you agree or disagree nowadays people dont spend enough time in local community involvement.Use specific details and examples to explain your answer.

    Whether people give enough time to their community today is a controversial question. Somethink that people nowadyas give a lot of time to the community. They argue that, thanks tointeret, people have more knowledge about the T society than they did before and thereforethey are more evolved in it. Others claim that because people become increasingly far from eachother and more unsociable than they used to be, they less participate in the community'sproblems. Personally, I think that people are involved a lot in the community today.

    First, people are much ___ aware about their self and the society than they used to be andtherefore they are more willing to help it. Internet and new media have increased theconsiousness of people about their self belongness to a community or a group of people. Hence,people do whatever they are capable of to reinforce that sense. As this feeling helps them to

    better understand themselves. For example, an american, a french or a tunisian do whatever inhis hand to increase his sens of patriotisme and appartenance to the country. This is becuasepeople love their countries and they would like to be proud of it. Therefore, people allocate a lotof time to the community than they did before.

    Second, the new media such as internet increased the time and the effort that people consacrateto their communiti. On a recent research, sientists found that people stay at least 3 hoursconnected to internet per day and that they use 50% of time when they go over internet toconnect __ social website. This simply demonstrate that people are increasingly interested intheir community and in the people they know. Moreover, on internet people participate tosurveys to resolve community'problem, found blogs to help people express their thoughts andprogram web sites to come to the needs of some of the community problems such as web sitesshowing congestion on the roads. Therfcre people are more involved in their community thanthey used to be.

    In summary, people are concerned a lot nowadays by their community as their awernessincreased and the media that they use increased their involvment.

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    INDEPENDENT: MODEL ESSAY3

    Writer s Final TOEFL Writing Score: 29

    Word count: 342

    Some people think that the government should spend as much money as possible on protection theenvironment. Others think this money should be spent on other things such as education and healthcare.

    Which one of these options do you agree with?

    I believe that the government should spend enough money on protection the environment. Ofcourse, it should not be all the money of the country, but a big part of the budget should bereserved for the ecology issues.

    First, there is no doubt that the government should spend money on education and healthcare,

    but if it ignores support of the environment, health system will be helpless to solve people'sproblem. Our health is thoroughly connected with ecology. For instance, if we breathe inpoisonous air, we will have the problems with lungs, or contaminated water causes problemswith digestion, and so on. Moreover, not only the organs like lungs or stomach are under threat,

    but the whole body is suffering. It is a fact that those people who live in polluted areas areprone to different diseases, and some of them are extremely serious. So, government's supportof healthcare is pointless without protection of the environment.

    Secondly, we share the planet with all the other people, and ecological situation of one countrymay affect the situation in other parts of the world. It can be indirect influence, but it exists, aswe are all the ''citizens'' of the same place the Earth. For example, the government of onecountry ignores the activity of the factories which throw their toxic wastes in the sea. Seas arethe parts of world ocean, so the water pollution in one region leads to the global waterpollution, and people from different countries suffer. That is why, the government should becompletely responsible for its actions, and financial support of the environment is a part of itsgeneral mission on the planet.

    Finally, I think that the situation in any country is a complex issue, and the government cannotspend as much money as possible only on one sphere. System of education, healthcare, socialservices, etc. are as important as protection the environment. However, the government shouldnot forget about the environment and should support eco-friendly projects and the activity ofthe environmentalists with enough money.

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    INDEPENDENT: MODEL ESSAY4

    Writer s Final TOEFL Writing Score: 29

    Word count: 334

    What are the qualities of features of a good newspaper, current affairs television program, or newswebsite? Use specific details and examples to explain your answer.

    Mass media is powerful source of information, but it is obvious that not all of them are of goodquality. I think that there are 3 main features of a good newspaper, TV program or websitewhich focuses on news.

    First, responsibility is a feature of crucial importance. Media should be responsible for the textspublished, and all the information should be checked. Sometimes media are called ''the fourth

    power'', and it is a reasonable name, as media can seriously affect the political and socialsituation in the country and world. Let's imagine what could be, if a newspaper published thenews that was not actually true. Even a world scandal could happen, let alone accusations ofindividuals (for example because of the libel).

    Second, I believe, that the use of language is also very important for any good newspaper, newsTV-program and website. Journalists should be extremely competent in the language they write(or speak). They are the masters of the language like writers, words are their tools, so, theyshould know how to work with them. Texts should be written in a smooth and clear way,without grammatical and orthographical mistakes, etc. TV-reporters should have goodspeaking skills and clear pronunciation. Although all these things are not connected with thenews itself, they create the impression of the media. For me it is always very disappointing tosee the mistakes in features, and it makes the image of it worse.

    And finally, a good media should not be biased. People open a newspaper or a website andswitch on a TV-set to be informed, but not to be deceived. I think that the main problem ofcentral TV-channels and newspapers in Russia is their political bias. Most newspapers andcurrent affairs television programs show the oficial point of view, and the Internet is the onlyplace for opposition.

    To sum up, in my opinion, there are three main qualities of a good newspaper, news website

    and TV-program responsibility, good language and objectivity.

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    5 NEAT TRICKS TO SNEAK ENGLISH INTO EVERY DAY

    Now that youve been studying for a while, you have to make sure that you review. Here are 5fail-proof ways that you can make sure you see or think about English thats essential for

    boosting your TOEFL Writing and Speaking score every day.

    TRICK 1

    Use digital flashcards Jaime shows you how to use and customize her favorite app,Flashcards Deluxe (by OrangeOrApple.com), so you can study while you commuteor wait for friends, instead of checking Facebook. Her video explains step-by-step in

    Secret 2 at http://www.jaimemiller.com/how-to-learn-toefl-vocabulary/

    TRICK 2:

    This is especially useful if you use Flashcards Deluxe (from Trick 1). However, even if youdont have that app, you can still make a free account at www.quizlet.com to study vocab andmake instant quizzes. Then change your settings on Google Chrome or Mozilla Firefox so thatwhen you open a new internet window, a set of pages are automatically opened. IncludeQuizlet.coms website so that you are reminded to study every day.

    TRICK 3:

    If you have a smart phone, take advantage of the lock screen(the constant picture that displays a photo when you enteryour password to open your phone). Change the image tosomething that you want to remember. If youre improvingyour pronunciation, choose a few words that use all the timefor TOEFL and put them on the lock screen.

    1. Go to www.jaimemiller.com/images/stickynote.jpg and download or save the picture of the sticky note.

    2. Open it in a program like PowerPoint, where you can add text and then save it all as anew image.

    3. Transfer the picture to your phone, and set it as your lock screen photo. You areguaranteed to look at it at least 20 times a day!

    Note: For maximum effect, change the image once a week because its human nature to stopseeing things become routine. You have to trick your brain into noticing new information.

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    TIPS FOR POLITE, EFFECTIVE EMAILS

    As my online school has grown, Ive received thousands of emails from people in dozens ofcountries. Here are some tips you should follow whenever you write emails to anyone.

    TIPS FOR WRITING EMAILS WITH NATIVE-ENGLISH SPEAKERS

    If you have multiple email addresses, and if you need to start writing emails to auniversity or professional program, you should always write from the same emailaddress . If theres a problem, the secr etary can easily find all of the emails that are aboutyou at the same time. If your emails come from different email addresses, it might bedifficult for the secretary to read (or remember) all the information you send. That could

    be bad for you later.

    Change your email account options to show your real name your first name and thenyour last name. There are two serious reasons for this:

    It makes you look more professional and people will take you more seriously.

    Second, if another person with your first name already sent them an email, therecipient might accidentally send your email to the other person with your name.

    Dont use all capital letters or multiple question marks (?).

    Example of an ineffective message: HEY WHERE IS THE INFORMATI ONABOUT FINANCIAL AID??????? (The recipient will probably think you arerude, and will answer your email last.)

    Example of the same message expressed in a polite way, Hello! Can you pleasetell me where I can find the information about financial aid on your website? Itried searching but I cant seem to find it. Thanks so much for your help. Jaime

    Use Enter to make separate paragraphs:

    Formatting that looks a bit unprofessional:

    Hello! Can you please tell me where I can find the information aboutfinancial aid on your website? I tried searching but I cant seem to find it.Thanks so much for your help. Jaime

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    Formatting that looks professional:

    Hello!

    Can you please tell me where I can find the information about financialaid on your website? I tried searching but I cant seem to find it.

    Thanks so much for your help.

    Jaime

    Dont use all lower -case letters because it looks unprofessional. Use proper punctuation.

    Also, its wrong to use a lower -case I (Example: im writing because i w ant to ask

    for your help.)

    When you write I for yourself, it should always be upper- case. (Example: Imwriting because I want to ask for your help.)

    Dont use things like u when you write you or 4 if you really mean for.Those abbreviations are slang they are only acceptable in casual situations, or if youknow the speaker very well.

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    POLITE, EFFECTIVE PHRASES FOR INTRODUCTORY EMAILS

    1. Start the email by acknowledging the recipient. If youre writing a casual email, then start with Dear his/her first name then

    put a comma. If youre writing a professional email, then start with

    For a man: Dear Mr. (last name) then put a comma. For a woman: Dear Ms. (last name) then put a comma.

    Note: Actually, in most American companies, first names have becometotally normal in writing emails. You dont need to write Mr. or Ms. butits an extra sign of respect.

    If you dont know the persons gender: Dear + his/her first name If you dont know who to email (like if youre emailing an Admiss ions

    Committee, or an office with lots of secretaries): Hello! orGreetings!

    2. Mention who you are. Just type, Im (first name). or My name is (first name). notThis is (first name). because you should only use that on the telephone.The recipient will remember you better if you give your name. In many situations, it isan advantage if they know who you are.

    Also, help them pronounce your name. This is only important if your name is spelled ina way that usually confuses Americans. Trust me, the recipient will be so grateful for

    the pronunciation tip! Here are some examples: In Japan, her teachers taught her to write Rie but its actually pronounced with

    an L so she could write My name is Rie but it sounds like Lee -ey.

    My name is Xueliang but it sounds like Zoo-lee- ang.

    If you write your last name here, please be very clear that its your last name. In somecountries, its common to write the surname and then the first name. However,Americans always expect to see a first nam e FIRST. Ive had a few confusing situationswhere a writer changed the order they told me their name in every email, and I becamevery confused.

    3. Explain why youre writing. Here are some options:

    Im contacting you because

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    Im not sure if youre the right person to ask at your company, but Im hoping tofind out

    I would really appreciate your help with something. (Extra explanation)

    Im interested in

    Id like to

    Its not always appropriate, and it depends on the situation, but you might want to writesome hints that help the recipient understand if you are male or female. This can makeit easier to respond to your email and it makes a clearer picture of who you are, so youare more memorable.

    Example: Im planning to apply to your MBAs 2015 cohort for the Fall term. I

    need some information about financial aid because my wife isnt working rightnow and things are a bit tight. (The reader understands the writer is a man.)

    Example: I need to finish my certification as soon as possible because Im giving birth in July. (The reader understands the writer is a woman.)

    4. At the end of your email, thank the person for his/her time or patience with you. Hereare some options:

    Thanks for your time and patience!

    Thank you for your help.

    I appreciate your time and patience with me!

    Im sorry about all the questions, and I appreciate you being patient.

    5. Close the email with a standard phrase like

    Best wishes,

    Cheers, (note: thats mostly British)

    Best regards,

    Regards,

    6. Type your name. I recommend writing your first name again, but you might alsoinclude your last name here. The choice is yours.

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    HOW TO WRITE AN EFFECTIVE COMPLAINT

    If someone offended you, it will be difficult for him/her to hear your complaint if you are rude.If you want to be taken seriously, then being polite is more effective.

    1. Of course, start your email with the phrases I mentioned in 1 and 2 on the previouspage.

    2. Acknowledge the persons difficult situation. If you start this way, they will listen toyour complaint more quickly. Here are some options that make the recipient feel likeyou see him/her as a human:

    I can imagine tha t youre really busy because (empathize).

    It seems like youre really busy Im sure youre pretty stressed, as well.

    Its clear that youre rea lly busy, and I appreciate that i ts difficult for you rightnow because (empathize with him/her).

    3. Then, express your complaint.

    I hate to add more pressure but (explain your problem / issue).

    That said, I am upset because (explain your problem / issue).

    With all due respect, (something) is a problem.

    4. Tell them what you need, or what will make you happy.

    Please consider

    Would it be possible for you to ?

    5. Apologize for any inconvenience and thank them for their time.

    Given the circumstances, I really appreciate your time and energy.

    I hope this doesnt cause you too much trouble, and that we can resolve this assoon as possible.

    6. Close your email with the phrases and tips from the previous page.