Writing Skills

Reasons Why The English Language Is Hard To Learn

1. We must polish the Polish furniture. 2. He could lead if he would get the lead out. 3. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 4. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the

present. 5. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 6. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 7. I did not object to the object. 8. The bandage was wound around the wound. 9. The farm was used to produce produce.10.The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12.There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13.They were too close to the door to close it. 14.The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15.A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

Headline Headaches! – New York TimesIdentify the misread meaning AND the intended meaning

1. Miners Refuse to Work after Death2. Stolen Painting Found by Tree3. Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One4. Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder5. NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach6. Juvenile Court Tries Shooting Defendant7. Iraqi head seeks arms8. Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation9. Queen Mary has bottom scraped10. Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers • • • 

Words of Wisdom About Writing

“When the meaning is unclear there is no meaning.” ― Marty Rubin

Successful writers learn at last what they should learn at first,--to be intelligently simple.

- Josh Billings

“Writing is hard work. A clear sentence is no accident. Very few sentences come out right the first time, or even the third time. Remember this in moments of despair. If you find that writing is hard, it’s because it is hard.” - William Zinsser

Our Focus

Writi

ngReducing Wordiness and Improving word choices

Active vs. Passive Voice and Pronoun References

Parallel Structure and Formal Voice

Reducing Wordiness “Low Fat” Writing

A memo issued by the State Department to U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt in during World War II. “Such preparations shall be made as will completely obscure all Federal buildings and non-Federal buildings occupied by the Federal government during an air raid for any period of time from visibility by reason of internal or external illumination.”

How to “reduce the fat” in writingOverall Goal: Aim for simplicity, concreteness, action, grace, and impact

1. Eliminate Redundancies –repetitive words/ phrasesa) past historyb) triangular in shapec) few in number

2. Use precise words/ phrases of synonymsa) during the time that b) come to the conclusion thatc) make assumptions aboutd) very angry

3. Avoid excessive formalitya) A decision was made by the committee to conduct further studies.

Your Task: Complete the following exercise

Silver Level: State more concisely 1. Joined together: __________________2. With the exception of: ________________3.In this particular instance: ______________4. In addition to: ____________________5. For the purpose of advancing: _______________6. One and the same: __________________7.Due to the fact: ____________________8. Once in a while: ___________________9. In all honest truth: __________________10. The general public: _________________

Gold Level: Rewrite for clarity11. At the present time, it is Mark who performs the analysis of the school’s track records.

12. In my personal opinion, people who are about to graduate should come to the realization that they should continue to educate themselves.

13. Expert delineation of the characters in a work of fiction is a task that is difficult to facilitate.

14. In my personal opinion, you who are in the work force should come to the realization that you are possessed of good fortune.

Platinum Level: Re-write for clarity

15. Mechanical professionals in the automotive industry have been known to recommend regular monitoring of fluids necessary for internal combustion vehicles and increasing the allocation of such fluids when necessary.

16. In the employment situation, social pleasantries may contribute to the successful functioning of job tasks but such interactions should not distract from the need to complete all assignments in a timely manner.

17. One difference between television news reporting and the coverage provided by newspapers is the time factor between the actual happening of an event and the time it takes to be reported. The problem is that instantaneous coverage is physically impossible for newspapers.

What is the difference?

The house was renovated by the new owners.vs

The new owners renovated the house.

The raw meat was fed to the lion by the zookeeper.

vsThe zookeeper fed the lion raw meat.

Use active voice

Why should you use it?

Active-voice constructions clearly indicate the performer of the action

Changing from passive voice to active often results in a more concise sentence.

Your Task: Complete the following exerciseActive Voice: Rewrite each of the following passive voice sentences into active voice:

1. The turkey dinner was cooked by Katie before Easter.

2. The invitations were sent to the wedding guest by the couple whose marriage was being celebrated.

3. The opportunity to run for student council was spurned by Chris.

4. The bunny ears were worn by Paulo as part of an April Fool’s joke.

5. The teacher was criticized by her students for being insensitive to their wishes.

Pronoun ReferencesBe sure that the pronouns you use refer clearly to a noun in the current or previous sentence. If the pronoun refers to a noun that has been implied but not stated, you can clarify the reference by explicitly using that noun.

Spot the vague pronoun reference:

1. American universities increasingly follow a corporate fiscal model, tightening budgets and hiring temporary contract employees as teachers. This has prompted faculty at many schools to join unions as a way of protecting job security and benefits.

2. Larissa worked in a national forest last summer, which may be her career choice.

Your Task: Complete the following exercisePronoun References: Each sentence below contains faulty pronoun reference because there is either no antecedent at all or no clear, single noun antecedent. Rewrite each sentence, repairing the problems

1. It says on the bottle label that the chemical will kill weeds.2. A visitor to Italy immediately notices how friendly they are. 3. People who have been heavy smokers for years often gain weight when they give it up. 4. My brother has been unemployed for three months because of illness. This makes him depressed.5. In 19th century England, they put people in jail for debt.

Correct the Vague PronounsHighlight the pronouns and then identify instances where the pronoun references could be improved. Make the changes.

Recent studies show that about one in three people between 65 and 75 live alone. For many of them, loneliness can be a serious problem. In many hospitals and retirement homes, they recognize that elderly patients often enjoy the friendship of pets. Dogs, cats, birds, and other pets can help a senior citizen feel independent, and they can also motivate an older person to get regular exercise. In some studies, it says that taking care of a pet can also have positive effects on senior citizens’ health. They said in a recent news article that many older people living alone consider their pet to be their best friend.

Which sentence has a better flow?

1. I have three goals in life: to complete my education, traveling around the world, and to run the Boston Marathon.

ORI have three goals in life: to complete my education, to travel around the world, and to run in the Boston Marathon.

2. People who are in debt should give up credit cards, borrowing money, eating out in expensive restaurants, and living above their means.

ORPeople who are in debt should give up using credit cards, borrowing money, eating out in expensive restaurants, and living above their means.

3. The colours of the crest are black for death, green for life, and blue represents loyalty.OR

The colours of the crest are black for death, green for life, and blue for loyalty.

Parallel Structure

Parallel structure means using the same pattern of words to show that two or more ideas have the same level of importance. This can happen at the word, phrase, or clause level. (Owl at Purdue Writing Centre)

Proofreading Strategies

Listen to the sound of the items in a list or the items being compared. Do you hear the same kinds of sounds? For example, is there a series of "-ing" words beginning each item? Or do your hear a rhythm being repeated? If something is breaking that rhythm or repetition of sound, check to see if it needs to be made parallel.

Words and Phrases

Not Parallel

Mary likes hiking, swimming, and to ride a bicycle.

ParallelWith the -ing form (gerund) of words:• Mary likes hiking,

swimming, and bicycling.With infinitive phrases:• Mary likes to hike, to swim,

and to ride a bicycle.ORMary likes to hike, swim, and ride a bicycle.

Words and Phrases

Non ParallelThe production manager was asked to write his report quickly, accurately, and in a detailed manner.

It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.

My grades are just as good as Stephanie’s.

ParallelThe production manager was asked to write his report quickly, accurately, and thoroughly.

It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

My grades are just as good as Stephanie’s grades.

Words and Phrases

Not ParallelThe teacher said that he was a poor student because he waited until the last minute to study for the exam, completed his lab problems in a careless manner, and his motivation was low.

ParallelThe teacher said that he was a poor student because he waited until the last minute to study for the exam, completed his lab problems in a careless manner, and lacked motivation.

Clauses

Not Parallel• The coach told the players

that they should get a lot of sleep, that they should not eat too much, and to do some warm-up exercises before the game.

ParallelThe coach told the players that they should get a lot of sleep, that they should not eat too much, and that they should do some warm-up exercises before the game.ORThe coach told the players that they should get a lot of sleep, not eat too much, and do some warm-up exercises before the game.

Clauses

Not Parallel• The salesman expected that

he would present his product at the meeting, that there would be time for him to show his slide presentation, and that questions would be asked by prospective buyers. (passive)

ParallelThe salesman expected that he would present his product at the meeting, that there would be time for him to show his slide presentation, and that prospective buyers would ask him questions.

Your Task: Complete the following exerciseParallelism: Correct any faulty parallelism you find in the following sentences.

1.The dentist took an x-ray of her teeth, advised her to get gold fillings, and then he billed her $100. 2. Not only did Sheila check the house for pests but also the garage and the backyard.3. Bill finds it hard to be fair to himself than being fair to others.4. Her mother spent her days buying furniture, decorating the house, and she complained about paying sales tax. 5. Heather and Martin were invaded by ants, frightened by mice, and the pest control agency they hired overcharged them. 6. Three things are needed to give a good seminar: adequate preparation, a visual aid, and you should have strong nerves. 7. Chris wore a beard, a mustache, and his hair was tied back in a ponytail.

Formal Voice (a review)

• Uses standard Canadian English• Avoid slang and colloquialism • Avoid the use of rhetorical questions in the body of your

paper • Avoid using bracketed information • Avoid use of short forms and contractions (can’t won’t)• Avoid use of first person (I) and second person pronouns

(you, we, us) – use “the reader” for a novel or “the audience” for a play

• Avoid using sentence fragments

Your Turn: Convert the following passage to formal voice

Shakespeare is so cool. You’ll find his fingerprints all over pop culture and show biz. He’s quoted more often than any other author. And he’s inspired more than 350 movies. In 2000, he was voted “Artist of the Millennium.” Not bad for a guy who’s been dead for almost 400 years.

How come we’re not all sick of him? Well, for one thing. His characters are like real people, with real problems. Think about it. Most of us don’t live in a Danish castle like Hamlet. But at one time or another we’ve all found it tough to do the right thing. And I guess anyone who fell in love in high school, and then got hassled by their parents, can relate to Romeo and Juliet.

Formal Version

William Shakespeare is very popular today. There are many allusions to his poetry and plays in popular culture. In fact, his work is quoted more often than any other author and he has inspired more than 350 movies. In 2000, he was voted “Artist of the Millennium”; an incredible accomplishment since he has been dead for almost 400 years.

People never get tired of reading and studying Shakespeare because his characters are like real people with real problems. Even though most people do not live in a Danish castle like Hamlet, at one time or another, they have found it tough to do the right thing. Also, anyone who fell in love in high school and experienced their parent’s disapproval to this love can relate to Romeo and Juliet.