Writing Like an Educated English Speaker

Kathryn MinnickNov. 8, 2013

kathrynm@cashq.ac.cn

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What I’ll Talk About

General Principles of Writing (3-7)

CAS’s Audience and Goals (8-13)

Common Requirements for Good Writing (14-19)

Differences Between Chinese and English (20-22)

Grammar and Style Tips (23-60)

Journalistic, Presentation and Personal Writing (61-81)

Summary (82)

Exercises (83-111)

Appendix (112-125)

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Writing Style is Relative

Know your goal

+

Know your audience

= Know your format + style

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Writing Goals Vary

• News ✓• Entertainment• Persuasion ✓• Factual reports ✓• Academic writing ✓• Public relations ✓• Artistic expression

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Media and Publications Vary• Different media and publications target different audiences and have

different goals• Goals also vary within different sections of publications (or broadcast

programs)• Huge variety• Imagine how a major Chinese achievement in S&T would be handled by:

科技新时代 Website – focus on science, less specialized

CCTV 新闻联播 – focus on economic benefits, with nationalistic tone

人民日报 – focus on role of CPC in facilitating achievement

Science – focus on science, medium specialized

Sina.com – implications for average people’s lives

China Daily – “soft power” PR, proof of China’s advance

New York Times – strong emphasis on implications for U.S.-China rivalry

Specialized science journal – highly specialized science focus

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No Single “Right” Way To Write

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Depends on Audience and Goal

For Each Piece

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CAS’s English Audience

• Foreign scientists and engineers

• Science administrators from other countries

• Foreign government officials

• NGO officials

• Employees/officers of S&T-related companies

• Journalists/media specialists

• Educated nonspecialists

• Generally non-Chinese

• Some may have bias against Party or government due to geopolitical rivalry, etc.

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Why Should We Care About Their Opinion?

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CAS English language publications and Websites affect English

readers’ opinion of CAS:

• Strong English writing increases readers’ capacity to understand CAS

and its achievements

• English readers take English writing as an overall measure of CAS’s

quality and professionalism

• “Politically flavored” writing may suggest to some readers that CAS is

not free to do independent science since it places too much

emphasis on politics/ideology

English readers’ opinions may affect CAS’s domestic standing:

• A strong external reputation is likely to strengthen CAS’s reputation

at home among government, Party and business leaders

• Strong international reputation better funding, more political

support

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Conclusion:What English Readers Think

of CASMATTERS

Both Abroad and in China

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CAS’s English Writing Goals

• Report scientific results to global S&T community

• Disseminate achievements and other information to

multiple audiences

• “PR” – increase CAS’s reputation among all

audiences

• Attract partners for S&T research and

commercialization

• Communicate with international partners

• Increase China’s “soft power”

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Main Writing Formats for CAS

• Journalistic ✓– Press releases

– Website news stories

• Presentation style ✓– Annual report

– Most Website materials

– Reports, etc. to international organizations, etc.

– Speeches

• “Personal” ✓– Letters, e-mails, etc. to colleagues

• Academic

– Journal articles

– Abstracts

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Different Formats –Common Requirements

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Good Writing Should Be:

Correct

Clear

Concise

Compelling

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Correct

• No factual errors

• No grammatical errors

• No misuse of word

• No spelling mistakes

• No proofreading errors

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Clear

• Important points of sentences,

paragraphs, articles, etc. are clear

• No ambiguity

• Modification is clear

• Chronology is clear

• Cause and effect relationships are clear

• Writer quickly gets to the point

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Concise

• Meaning is expressed in as few words as

possible

• Unnecessary modification eliminated

• Omit information that readers can assume

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Compelling

• Writing style draws the reader in and

encourages her/him to finish the piece

• Interesting “leads” (to news stories) or

beginnings to other pieces

• Variation in sentence pattern

• Use of vivid, concrete descriptions when

necessary

• Use of “action” words and active voice

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Chinese “Soil” + English “Plant” =Huge Challenge

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Chinese Writing• Dense – a few characters can express a lot of meaning

• Sentences are often long – containing many interrelated parts

• Sentences often provide extensive “background information”:

Based on . . . principle, CAS has decided to . . .

Under the leadership of . . . , the institute has committed to . . .

• Chinese often makes extensive use of lists

• The doer of an action is often not clearly stated in Chinese

• Whether a noun is singular or plural is often unclear in Chinese

• Whether a noun is definite or indefinite is often unclear in Chinese

• Verb tense is less precise in Chinese

• Political elements often appear in nonpolitical publications (e.g., “Under the leadership of the government and the Party, . . . “ appearing in the CAS annual report)

• Propaganda “flavor” may be strong

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What Can CAS Writers Do?

• Write directly in English

• Follow checklist

• Turn “propaganda” into “PR”: soften stridency, change phrases that have strong association

with CPC into more “neutral” phrases

ORIGINAL:

China wants to build a harmonious society. (strong “propaganda” feel)

WHAT WESTERN READERS MAY HEAR:

China wants to stifle all dissent and cover up problems.

ALTERNATIVE:

China is trying to reduce social conflicts. (still vague but slightly better)

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Writing Tips:Grammar and Style

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Key CAS Grammar Problems

Misuse of:

• Articles – a, an, the

• Prepositions

• Verb tenses

• Modifiers

– Esp. position, relative pronouns, need

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Articles

• Misuse of articles is big clue that writer is not a native

speaker; both underused and overused

• At least use articles correctly with proper names

(e.g., Beijing University, the Institute of Physics, Sanlihe

Road, the Beijing Zoo, Tianjin, the Third Ring Road)

• Are you talking about something specific or not? Has it

been referred to before? Ex.: 我要去饭馆 . ( 哪一个 ?)

• Do you know when to use “a” and “an”? (e.g., an NPC

delegate, an egg, a computer)

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Prepositions

• Many phrases require a particular preposition• Logic often doesn’t help – must memorize:

“in November,” but “on November 4th”• Different prepositions may produce different

meanings:

He did it by himself. (He did it alone.)

He did it for himself. (He did it to benefit himself, but he did not necessarily do it alone.)

• Use English Website to check

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Verb Tenses

• Past tense is default tense when talking about the past; present

perfect also is often used

• Past perfect (“I had read”) and future perfect (“I will have read”) are

hard to use correctly; avoid them if possible!

• Present tense is usually used in news headlines to describe past

events, but not in news stories

• Subjunctive is used in situations of uncertainty or speculation, or

when discussing a wish, requirement or necessity, etc.

• Keep tense as consistent and simple as possible over a piece of

writing

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Most Commonly Used Tenses

• Present: I study IT. ✓

• Present progressive: I am studying IT in Germany. ✓

• Past: I studied IT at Tsinghua. ✓

• Past progressive: I was studying IT in the U.S. ✓

• Present perfect: I have studied IT for five years. ✓

• Future: I will study IT in graduate school. ✓

• Future progressive: I will be studying IT next year.

• Present subjunctive: It is necessary that she study IT.

• Past subjunctive: If I had studied IT I would be rich.

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Modifiers

• Words, phrases and clauses that give us more information about the words they describe:

effective treatment (what kind of treatment)

Before the speech, he drank coffee. (when did he drink)

The meeting was held on Tuesday, the day I left. (which day)

She flew to Germany without telling her boss. (how did she fly)

• Keep modifiers as close as possible to what they modify to reduce ambiguity

• Eliminate unnecessary modifiers

• Use correct relative pronouns (who, which, that, where, etc.)

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Examples: Modifiers

ORIGINAL:

On March 26, 19 foreign counselors and other guests were invited to

participate in the CAS event in Beijing.  (ambiguous; the date seems to

modify “were invited”; so, were they invited on March 26 or was the

event on March 26?)

REVISION:

Nineteen foreign counselors and others were invited to participate in

the CAS event in Beijing on March 26. (we assume the date modifies

“participate” since “participate” is the closest verb to the date)

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Examples: Modifiers

ORIGINAL:

He attended the 2013 IAP General Conference held in Rio de Janeiro in

February, where he delivered a speech on open data. (“where” is right next to

the date, but in fact modifies “IAP General Conference” which is farther away)

REVISION:

He delivered a speech on open data at the 2013 IAP General Conference,

which was held in February in Rio de Janeiro.

(“which” modifies “IAP General Conference” and is right next to it; this sentence

does not emphasize that he “attended” the conference, but that is unimportant;

we want to stress the speech, not attending the conference)

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Example: Modifiers

Both sides agreed to facilitate cooperative research projects and personnel

exchange in the future. (“in the future” is unnecessary; when else would it

happen?)

She is fully committed to the project. (“committed” implies “fully”)

He completely finished the project in two years. (“finished” implies

“complete”)

The reason he transferred to the institute is because it had better funding.

(“the reason is” is unnecessary; it is clear that we are explaining the reason)

More examples:

http://www.calstatela.edu/faculty/jgarret/style7. htm

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Writing Style

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Sentence Construction

• Know what you want to express

• Main idea should stand out clearly, especially in

complex sentences

• Avoid long sentences (maximum 35-40 words is best)

• Average sentence should be 10-25 words

• Use punctuation appropriately to set off subordinate

clauses, certain phrases, items in lists, etc.

• Ellipses ( . . . ) are rarely used in news writing or

reports, etc.

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Sentences:Background vs. Foreground

“Background”:

Elements that form the basis or conditions for a certain action or state

“Foreground”:

Action or state being discussed – should be most important part of

sentence

• Background and foreground should not have equal weight within

a sentence

• If background information has too much “weight,” it should be

moved to a separate sentence, shortened or eliminated

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Example: Background

ORIGINAL:

以“需求导向，基础依托，资源集聚，协同创新”为原则，聚焦关系区域经济社会发展，关系民生，

地方党委政府关注的重大问题，“牛鼻子”问题和“卡脖子”问题，开展了与 31 各省（市区）院地合作“一三五”战略规划研究，明确了与 31 个省（市区）院地合作工作定位，确定了 86 项重大突破， 153 项重点培育任务。

TRANSLATION:

Taking “demand orientation, relying on the base, resource agglomeration and collaborative

innovation” as principles, and focusing on the major problems that are key to regional social and

economic development and people’s livelihood and that local governments and Party officials are

concerned about, as well as other very pressing problems, CAS has begun research on

cooperating with 31 provincial-level entities to do strategic planning for the

“1-3-5” program, has clarified how CAS will cooperate with 31 provincial-level entities, has

determined 86 major breakthroughs and 153 major talent development tasks. (Background

distracts from central idea of sentence; dominates foreground)

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REVISION:

CAS has clarified how it will cooperate with 31 provincial-level entities to implement the “1-3-5” program. The program encourages institutes to focus on areas of competitive advantage while reducing overlap with other institutions in order to save resources. With an emphasis on collaborative innovation with local and regional entities, CAS has identified 86 major potential breakthroughs and 153 major talent development tasks it aims to implement.

• Combine foreground elements and move to the beginning of the paragraph

• Identify key background element (collaborative innovation); put it in subsidiary position; eliminate other background information

• Explain “1-3-5” program

• Separate information into different sentences

• Use “collaborative innovation” clause to vary sentence structure, improve flow of paragraph

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Goal vs. Means

• Don’t give equal weight to goal and means in a sentence

• Can we eliminate one or the other?

• A goal may imply certain means that do not need to be stated

• Means may imply a goal that does not need to be stated

• “Goal” seems more important, but may not be

• Goals are often insubstantial or vague

• “Means” usually refer to practical actions

• We should focus more on practical actions and achievements

than vague goals

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Example: Goal vs. Means

ORIGINAL:

The 18 members signed the Beijing Declaration during the ceremony, agreeing to

establish an innovation-driven development mode by promoting strategic cooperation,

integrating innovation resources and building a collaborative innovation system.

• “establish an innovation-driven development mode” is vague goal

• “means” (promoting strategic cooperation, etc.) are more important – they are the

actual goal

REVISION:

During the ceremony, the 18 members signed the Beijing Declaration, which aims to

promote strategic cooperation and build a collaborative system of innovation. (new

practical goal)

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Reduce Sentence LengthORIGINAL:

中国科学院组织 200 余位战略科技专家，在持续开展重要领域科技发展路线图战略研究的基础上，深入分析未来 10 年科技发展新趋势新特点和我国转型发展对科技的战略需求，研究形成“科技发展新态势与面向 2020 年的战略选择”研究报告。该研究为国家科技决策提供了咨询建议，也为院战略布局和重点任务遴选提供了研究支撑。

ORIGINAL ENGLISH TRANSLATION:

Based on continuous strategic research on S&T development roadmap in some key areas, CAS invited over 200 experts to analyze in depth the new trends and new characteristics of S&T development in next ten years and the strategic needs for science and technology for transformation development in China, and produced a strategic research report: New Trends of S&T Development and Strategic Choices Facing 2020, which provides consultative suggestions for national S&T decision-making while gives support for CAS strategic layout research and key tasks selection. (one sentence, 84 words)

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REVISED ENGLISH TRANSLATION:

In 2012, over 200 experts analyzed in depth new S&T

development trends for the next 10 years and our country’s

strategic S&T needs during its process of transformation.

(28 words) Based on this work, CAS produced the report

New Trends in S&T Development and Strategic Choices

Approaching 2020, which made suggestions for national

S&T strategy. (25 words) The document can also serve as

a basis for CAS’s own strategic planning. (13 words) (three

sentences, 63 words)

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PunctuationSentence should contain “one complete thought”

• Additional “complete thoughts” should be separated out into new sentences

ORIGINAL:

He has also developed China’s Agricultural Policy Simulation and Projection Model, (CAPSIM), recognized as a very sophisticated model, it is regularly used in policy analysis. (new complete thought)

REVISIONS:

He has also developed China’s Agricultural Policy Simulation and Projection Model (CAPSIM). Recognized as a very sophisticated model, it is regularly used in policy analysis. (two sentences)

He has also developed China’s Agricultural Policy Simulation and Projection Model (CAPSIM), which is recognized as a very sophisticated model. It is regularly used in policy analysis. (two sentences)

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Punctuation (cont.)

Subordinate clauses should be separated from main clause by a comma

ORIGINAL:

"Her goal from the beginning was to determine the structures and understand the functions of these two HIV co-receptors and she was very determined which was inspiring,” said Stevens. 

REVISION:

"Her goal from the beginning was to determine the structures and understand the functions of these two HIV co-receptors and she was very determined, which was inspiring,” said Stevens. 

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Active and Passive Voice

• Should mainly use active voice

• Use passive voice if the recipient of the action is

much more important than the doer

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Examples of Voice

ORIGINAL:

Meetings regarding promoting cooperation in biodiversity and marine sciences were held between the delegation and the above research institutions. (The word “meetings” is not so important that it requires passive voice.)

REVISION:

The delegation met with representatives of the research institutes to discuss cooperation in the fields of biodiversity and marine sciences. (active voice)

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When to Use Passive Voice

• hepatitis E vaccine approved (focus is on the

vaccine, not who approved it)

• colossal black hole equal to 17 billion suns

discovered (focus is on the black hole, not who

discovered it)

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Word UsageSimilar looking words may have different meanings or usage:

“technology” and “technique”

Spaceborne synthetic aperture radar technology. (implies a physical product)

He pioneered a new surgical technique. (implies a method)

“publish” and “publicize”

Science magazine published the article. (to distribute or make public)

CAS publicized the upcoming meeting. (to tell people about)

Words used in similar contexts may have different usages:

“award” and “confer”

He was awarded a science prize by the president of CAS. (correct)

He was conferred a science prize by the president of CAS. (incorrect;

a prize or award is conferred – not a person)

The CAS president conferred the science prize on the young scholar. (correct)

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Don’t turn an intransitive verb into a transitive verb:

CAS officially initiated the Innovation 2020 Program –

flourishing it with openness. (Incorrect; “flourish” is

intransitive, e.g. “the economy is flourishing”)

Some Chinese terms are habitually mistranslated in

English because they come close to an existing concept

English:

In a publication, 栏目 ≠ “ column”; 栏目 = “section”

In English, a “column” of a publication refers to a particular,

regular feature that is always written by one person, such

as the column by Paul Krugman in the New York Times.

The Policy Forum 栏目 of Science magazine should rightly

be called a “section.”

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Eliminate redundant words:

patent license (a patent is a license; we do not need two words)

Explain coined or new words, or terms unfamiliar to readers:

CAS is committed to “informatization” – the application of information

technology.

CAS has introduced its “1-3-5” program, which encourages institutes to

identify their competitive strengths and eliminate programs that have little hope

of success.

Use proper form of word; however, this is changing rapidly:

USAGES NOW CONSIDERED CORRECT:

“Syria crisis” (rather than “Syrian crisis”; fewer words now use adjectival

form)

Who did you call? (objective case “whom” is being lost)

Use native English language sources to check word definitions, usage, etc.

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PluralsSome words do NOT use a plural form, or the plural form is expressed in an unusual way:

We need to take advices from the grassroots. (incorrect)

We need to take advice from the grassroots. (correct)

The institute has several new equipments. (incorrect)

The institute has several new pieces of equipment. (correct)

Some words do not NEED a plural form unless the writer wants to emphasize a particular

number:

The company has developed new computer technology. (correct; can mean one

piece of technology or several)

The company has developed new computer technologies. (correct, but not

necessary; emphasizes that company developed more than one technology)

The company has developed five new computer technologies. (emphasizes the

exact number of technologies)

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The plural form of some words creates a different meaning:

ORIGINAL:

The book gave a systematic introduction to his thoughts and achievements.

REVISION:

The book gave a systematic introduction to his thought and achievements.

“Thoughts” refers to individual ideas or opinions.

“Thought” refers to a systematic set of ideas or views.

In this case, we are discussing the person’s systematic set of ideas or views, not individual opinions so we should use “thought.”

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A plural word is sometimes changed to a singular when a noun is used as a modifier:

Improvement of key parameters is our goal. (correct; “parameters” is object of preposition)

Key parameters improvement is our goal. (incorrect)

Key parameter improvement is our goal. (correct)

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Abbreviations

Put a name in abbreviation in parentheses after first usage; use abbreviation

afterward

“CAS” may be used as an abbreviation without previous introduction when it is

clear what CAS is referring to (e.g., in press releases, on CAS website, etc.)

Do not introduce abbreviations unless:

– the abbreviation will be used later in the same piece

– it is important to link the full name with an abbreviation the reader may already

know

The definite article “the” is often (but not always) omitted before an abbreviation:

The Chinese Academy of Sciences comprises 104 institutes. (correct)

The CAS comprises 104 institutes. (sounds awkward)

CAS comprises 104 institutes. (sounds better)

The ICBC is my bank. (sounds awkward)

ICBC is my bank. (sounds better)

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Use of Data

Observe rules regarding significant figures:

ORIGINAL:

In 2012, 66,000 person-years of staff time were spent on scientific research projects, an increase of 11.3% over the previous year.

REVISION:

In 2012, 66,000 person-years of staff time were spent on scientific research projects, an increase of 11% over the previous year.

The figure 66,000 only has two significant figures. The increase can only have two significant figures, so the figure behind the decimal point should be dropped.

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For nonscientific articles, limit the precision of data to what is easy to

grasp:

Example: 39% is easy to remember; 39.13% is not.

Present data correctly:

Example: “person-visits” cannot modify staff

ORIGINAL:

More than 300 person-time staff of IOP go abroad for academic exchange, and

more than 400 person-time foreign experts and scholars from about 30

countries visit IOP every year.

REVISION:

IOP staff members make 300 person-visits abroad on average per year. In

addition, foreign experts and scholars from about 30 countries make an

average of 400 person-visits to IOP each year.

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Paragraph Construction

• Topic sentence (usually first sentence) should make clear what paragraph

is about

• Sentences within a paragraph should “flow musically,” with variation in

sentence length, structure, and punctuation

• Occasionally use subordinate clauses, including at the beginning of

sentences

• Sentence length should vary, although no sentence should be too long;

short sentences can have dramatic effect

• Some variation in punctuation (e.g., use of dashes) is okay; don’t overdo

• Lists may be used to a limited degree; items within list should use parallel

structure

• Use transition words and phrases to link sentences (e.g., “in addition,”

“furthermore,” “all in all,” etc.)

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Revising a Bad Paragraph

ORIGINAL:

(1) CAS convened a symposium along with the State Forestry Administration

and the Chinese Academy of Agricultural Sciences, and signed a Framework

Agreement on Research and Cooperation in Positioning Observation of Ecological

System with the State Forestry Administration and an Alliance Agreement on

Observation Research Network of Chinese Agricultural Ecosystem with the Chinese

Academy of Agricultural Sciences. (2) On this basis, the Implementation Plan for

Allied Construction of Field Stations was schemed, preliminary including five field

station alliances for observation and research on forest ecosystem, desert-grassland

ecosystem, wetland ecosystem, farmland ecosystem, and earth surface process in

alpine regions and environmental monitoring, with the State Forestry Administration,

CAS, Tibet Autonomous Region, China Meteorological Bureau, China Agricultural

University and Wuhan University as well as CAS related field stations as alliance

members. (3) Under the planning and guidance of the alliances, observation could

be standardized; data could be shared and joint research could be carried out.

(Three sentences, 150 words; needs improvement)

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REVISION:

In 2012, CAS formed an alliance with numerous

governmental agencies to cooperate on ecological observation

and research. (clear topic sentence) Alliance members include

the State Forestry Administration, CAS, the Tibet Autonomous

Region, the Chinese Academy of Agricultural Sciences, the

China Meteorological Bureau, China Agricultural University, and

Wuhan University. The alliance made a preliminary plan to set up

five field stations to conduct environmental monitoring of alpine,

forest, desert-grassland, wetland, and farmland ecosystems,

respectively. Alliance members plan to standardize observations,

share data, and conduct joint research. (Three sentences, 82

words – 45 percent reduction in word count; much more

effective)

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An Effective Paragraph

Cultivating young scientific talent is at the heart of CAS’s

mission. (short, powerful beginning; clear topic sentence) In 2012, CAS strengthened support for the development of young scholars by establishing the Association for the Promotion of Youth Innovation. (sentence begins with date to vary structure) The organization, which has close to a thousand members, is aimed at nurturing a strong group of scientists and technical experts under 35 years old. (subordinate clause used) The association aims to expand the vision of its members, promote cooperation and increase opportunities for scholarly work. (short, parallel list used) Many members – especially women – said they are excited to see the establishment of the new group. (variety in punctuation)

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Miscellaneous

Avoid starting sentences with “there is (are)”

ORIGINAL:

There are five major problems facing the institute this year.

REVISION:

The institute is facing five major problems this year.

Do not substitute “&” for “and” except:

R&D, S&T, P&L or other common usages

when “&” is a formal part of a company name (Sanford & Sons)

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Specific Types of Writing

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(1) Journalistic Writing

• Resembles news but is “one-sided”• Satisfies at least one of the “news” criteria: Timeliness, impact,

prominence, proximity, singularity, controversy• Generally has a narrow focus• “Inverted pyramid” • “Lead” – first paragraph – summarizes “news”• Second paragraph (“nut graf”) tells why news matters, gives more

detail• Rest of story provides details -- from most to least important• Quotes are often used• Background information put at end• Includes news-style headline• “News story” is past-oriented; press release may be past or future-

oriented

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Lead (or “Lede”)

• First sentence/paragraph of news story

• Summarizes story’s main points

• Emphasizes unique aspects of story

• Grabs reader’s attention

• Shouldn‘t start with date

• Shouldn’t start with subordinate clause

• Usually one sentence – about 20-30 words

• Quotes don’t usually work

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Dates in Lead

ORIGINAL:

On Jan. 23, 2013, CAS announced the Winners of its International Cooperation Award for 2012.

Billions of things happened on Jan. 23, 2012. Don’t lead with what is not unique about the situation!

REVISION:

CAS announced the winners of its 2012 International Cooperation Award on Jan. 23.

Lead may omit year since the publication’s release date should give clue to year. Lead may substitute day of week for date if there is no ambiguity.

65

Lead Examples

ORIGINAL:

“I hope that…at forty…TWAS is a world leading academic institution that

plays an important role in shaping the science agenda, in promoting science

for sustainability, and in facilitating capacity building in developing countries,”

said BAI Chunli, President of CAS (Chinese Academy of Sciences) and

TWAS, at a celebrating ceremony of TWAS’ 30th anniversary on Sep. 10 in

Beijing. (too long, quote is not effective because readers don’t know the

context)

REVISION:

CAS President BAI Chunli highlighted contributions by The World Academy

of Sciences (TWAS) to sustainability in the developing world during a

Tuesday ceremony in Beijing celebrating the 30th anniversary of TWAS’s

founding. (shorter, gets right to the point)

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Lead Examples

ORIGINAL:

Six pairs of researchers became the winners of the 2012 CAS International Cooperation Award for Young Scientists, dedicated to international young scientists and their CAS collaborators with substantial progress in research and innovation under the Academy. (long; doesn’t include date, place, event info)

REVISION:

Six pairs of researchers received the 2012 CAS International Cooperation Award for Young Scientists at a ceremony on Aug. 30 in Beijing. (brief, provides all major information)

The annual award, which was launched last year, honors young international scientists and their CAS collaborators for innovative research undertaken through the academy. It aims to encourage long-term international scientific partnership between young CAS researchers and foreign scientists. (details are provided in this paragraph, which is not part of lead)

67

Direct Quotes

• Record exactly what a person said; quotation marks used

• May be edited if meaning is not changed

• Divide into parts if too long

• Used to highlight a key idea

• Used when something is said in a particularly interesting way

• Used when the speaker/event is particularly important

• Must be accurately attributed to the speaker

• Partial quotes should not be taken out of context

• Quotation marks can also highlight nonattributable phrases to which we want to call attention (e.g., “Chinese Dream”)

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Examples: Direct Quotes

"There's no best, only better." (Pres. Xi Jinping, quoted in www.chinadaily.com.cn, Nov. 29, 2012) (short, powerful, clever)

"Some foreigners with full bellies and nothing better to do engage in finger-pointing at us," he said. "First, China does not export revolution; second, it does not export famine and poverty; and, third, it does not mess around with you. So what else is there to say?” (Pres. Xi Jinping, quoted in www.chinadaily.com.cn, Nov. 29, 2012) (important points, said in an interesting way by an important person)

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Indirect Quotes

• Paraphrase speaker’s words; no quotation

marks

• Used to make quote more readable

• Should be “default” form of quotation unless

direct quote criteria are strongly met

• Should not change meaning

• Need attribution

• Generally used more often than direct quotes

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Example: Indirect Quotes

ORIGINAL:

“I hope that…at forty…TWAS is a world leading academic institution that plays an important role in shaping the science agenda, in promoting science for sustainability, and in facilitating capacity building in developing countries,” said BAI Chunli, President of CAS (Chinese Academy of Sciences) and TWAS, at a celebrating ceremony of TWAS’ 30th anniversary on Sep. 10 in Beijing. (quote is awkward due to ellipses; wording is not so original it needs a direct quote)

REVISION:

After noting TWAS’s past achievements, Bai said he hoped TWAS would become a world-leading academic institution playing an important role in shaping the scientific agenda of the developing world within the next decade. He also said he hoped TWAS would continue to promote sustainability and capacity-building in developing countries. (eliminates ellipses; transforms material into indirect quote)

71

Partial Quotes• Combines elements of direct and indirect quotes

• Sometimes do not need attribution

EXAMPLES:

She said, “I am very happy in my new job.” (as direct quote, this is not special;

seems awkward and unnecessary to use a direct quote)

She said she was “very happy” in her new job. (emphasizes key point; although

this sentence is slightly longer, it “reads” more easily)

He wanted the “best of both worlds” – having a lot of money but not having to

work hard. (uses quotation marks to highlight a common nonattributable phrase)

72

Example: Partial Quote

ORIGINAL:

“We need to look for a new strategy to… respond to the changing world and to the increasing need of science-based solutions to the social and economical challenges faced by the developing countries.” said Bai. (awkward use of ellipsis; quoted material not so uniquely worded it requires direct quote)

REVISED INTO PARTIAL QUOTE:

In addition, Bai called for a “new strategy” to respond to the changing world, saying it is necessary to find “science-based solutions to social and economic challenges faced by developing countries.” (highlights those parts of quote worth emphasizing)

73

Attribution Tags – “she said”• Identify speaker by full name if possible, on first appearance; on

subsequent appearances, only last name is needed• Do not use “believe,” “feel,” “think,” “wish” or other words (by themselves)

that imply we are inside the head of the speaker • Use “say” or “said” most often; they have no connotations that • However, we can use “inside the head” words in combination with “say” or

“said,” e.g.:

He believed the project would be successful. (Incorrect)

He said he believed the project would be successful. (Correct)• Other simple words can sparingly be used to indicate attribution: state,

note, comment, express, add, etc., however, they have subtle connotations (“state” implies formality; add implies lesser importance, etc.)

• Avoid words that do not describe the production of speech: “I love my job,” he laughed.

• More information at: http://words.journalism.ku.edu/attribute.html

74

(2) Presentation Writing

• Presents non-news information

• First paragraph gives clue to nature of document – but

unlike a news lead, it does not summarize

• Structure should be logical (e.g., chronological, topical,

etc.); may be broken down in various sections

• Each paragraph should have clear topic

• May include charts, graphs, etc.

• Quotes are generally not used

• Tone may vary (e.g., informative, persuasive, etc.)

75

(3) Personal Writing

• “One-to-one/group” communication (e.g., letters, e-mails)

• “One-to-masses” communication (e.g., blog, weibo)

• Various levels of formality• Various formats• Format and style dictated by relationship,

purpose of communication, cultural standards• If uncertain, “err upwards”

76

Letter or Formal E-mail

SalutationDear _____: (colon is most formal)

Dear _____, (comma implies friendly relationship)

Include form of address and last name only

Examples:

Dear Ms. Bonnie Miller: Wrong; don’t use first name

Dear Prof. Thompson: Correct

Dear President Bai, Wrong; should use a colon

Mr. John Wilson, Wrong; should be “Dear Mr. Wilson:”

Hi! Wrong; too informal

Dearest Ms. Jones: Wrong; “dearest” is too intimate

Dear Ernest Heller: Wrong; should be “Dear Mr. Heller:”

Dear Professor, Wrong; Need person’s last name

To: Mr. Steven Wilkerson Wrong; “Dear Mr. Wilkerson:”

Dear Director Everett: Correct

Dear Mister Heisenberg: Wrong; abbreviate “Mister” to “Mr.”

77

First paragraph should explain purpose of letter/

e-mail:

Example:

I am writing you today to request some information from your

organization.

Middle paragraphs should give additional details

Last paragraph(s) should express appreciation and the

writer’s expectations:

Example:

Please return this questionnaire within the next two weeks.

Thank you very much for your kind assistance.

78

Complimentary close:

• Most common are:

Sincerely,

Regards,

Best regards,

Cordially,

• Should fit the nature of relationship

Name of writer:

• Use full name (and degree, if desired)

• Title and unit may be included below name

• For hard copy letter, leave four spaces between complimentary close and typed

name

Examples:

Renee Walker, M.D. (Correct)

William Madsen (Correct)

Dr. James Brown (Wrong; may substitute “James Brown, Ph.D.”)

79

Formal E-mail Model

Dear Prof. Mulholland: (salutation)

Thank you very much for making a presentation to our research team during your recent visit to China. (purpose of e-mail)

Many of the ideas you presented were very interesting and suggest possible new approaches we may apply in our own research. We look forward to maintaining cooperation with your laboratory on this and other topics in the future. (Additional information related to purpose)

In addition, please send me a complete copy of the data you referred to in your talk. (Additional expectations)

Thank you again for sharing your valuable time with us. (Appreciation)

Sincerely, (Complimentary Close)

Wang XX (Full name of writer)

Professor of Molecular Biology (writer’s title - optional)

Institute of Biochemistry and Cell Biology (writer’s unit - optional)

80

Casual E-mail

Examples:

1) Hi, Thanks so much for your help. I will be in touch with you soon.

Best,

Wang

2) Tomorrow is the best time for me to meet. Is that okay? See you.

81

Casual E-mail (cont.)3) Please send me the data when you have the opportunity.

Regards,

Xinyu

4) John,

It was nice to catch up with you during your visit to China. Please contact me the next time you’re in Beijing.

All the best,

Liu XX

82

Summary

• Writing in a foreign language is hard!!!

• So little time . . . So much to cover in this brief presentation

• Hopefully, these “high points” will help improve your writing

In any case . . .

Congratulations on your hard work and good luck!

83

Exercise (1)

HOW CAN YOU IMPROVE THIS SENTENCE?

As of 2012, there are five major problems facing the CAS, which need to be fixed.

84

PROBLEMS:

As of 2012, there are five major problems facing the CAS,

which need to be fixed.

1) tense; 2) use of article; 3) relative pronoun

REVISION:

As of 2012, there were five major problems facing CAS that

needed to be fixed.

85

Exercise (2)

HOW CAN YOU IMPROVE THIS PARAGRAPH?

IOP has bought five cutting-edge equipments for furnishing

its new lab last year. The lab director believes the new

technologies are making IOP a world-class institution. “We

will be a world leader in this field because we now have a

well-furnished lab,” the director reiterated.

86

PROBLEMS:

IOP has bought five cutting-edge equipments for furnishing its new lab last year. The lab director believes the new technologies are making IOP a world-class institution. “We will be a world leader in this field because we now have a well-furnished lab,” the director reiterated.

1) tense; 2) use of plural; 3) word usage; 4) wordiness

REVISION:

IOP bought five pieces of cutting-edge equipment for its new lab last year. The lab director said the new technologies would make IOP a “world leader” in its field.

87

Exercise (3)

HOW CAN YOU IMPROVE THIS SENTENCE?

On Feb. 19, the ribbon was cut by the CAS President Bai

Chunli, the ceremony opened the new molecular biological

facility in Shanghai where much cutting-edge research will

be expected to occur in future years.

88

PROBLEMS:

On Feb. 19, the ribbon was cut by the CAS President Bai Chunli,

the ceremony opened the new molecular biological facility in

Shanghai where much cutting-edge research will be expected to

occur in future years.

1) date; 2) passive voice; 3) use of “the”; 4) punctuation; 5) use

of “biological”; 6) tense; 7) modification

REVISION:

CAS President Bai Chunli opened the new molecular biology

facility in Shanghai with a ribbon cutting ceremony on Feb. 19.

The new facility is expected to be the site of much cutting-edge

research.

89

Exercise (4)

HOW CAN YOU IMPROVE THIS SENTENCE?

Innovation is one of the institute’s biggest problems that it

believes it can solve through better management, better

funding and staff that have better training will also be key.

90

PROBLEMS:

Innovation is one of the institute’s biggest problems that it

believes it can solve through better management, better

funding and staff that have better training will also be key.

1) word usage; 2) misuse of relative pronoun (should

create new sentence); 3) lack of parallel structure

REVISION:

Lack of innovation is one of the biggest challenges the

institute faces. Better management, better funding and

better staff training will be key to solving this problem.

91

Exercise (5)

HOW CAN YOU IMPROVE THIS SENTENCE?

The institute director whom I had the honor of meeting has

visited more than 20 countries since she had been in South

America when she was being the head of the international

organization.

92

PROBLEMS:

The institute director whom I had the honor of meeting has

visited more than 20 countries since she had been in South

America when she was being the head of the international

organization.

1) punctuation; 2) tense; 3) relative pronoun

REVISION:

The institute director, whom I had the honor of meeting, has

visited more than 20 countries since she was in South

America where she was head of the international

organization.

93

Exercise (6)

HOW CAN YOU IMPROVE THIS SENTENCE?

The Institute of Botany will build a new lab next year. A new

lab will cost about RMB 10 million yuan an amount requires

special funding from the CAS headquarters.

94

PROBLEMS:

The Institute of Botany will build a new lab next year. A new

lab will cost about RMB 10 million yuan an amount requires

special funding from the CAS headquarters.

1) too wordy – can be combined into one sentence; 2) misuse

of currency terms; 3) misuse of article

REVISION:

The Institute of Botany will build a new 10-million-yuan lab

next year that will require special funding from CAS

headquarters.

95

Exercise (7)

HOW CAN YOU IMPROVE THIS HEADLINE?

Famous CAS Researcher, Wang XX, Died Thursday in Beijing of Cancer

96

PROBLEMS:

Famous CAS researcher, Wang XX, died Thursday in Beijing

of Cancer

1) tense; 2) too detailed

REVISIONS:

Wang XX, Famous CAS Researcher, Dies in Beijing

Wang XX Dies in Beijing

Famous CAS Researcher Dies in Beijing

97

Exercise (8)

HOW CAN YOU IMPROVE THIS LEAD?

On Tuesday under a cloud of heavy air pollution, two CAS

scientists were proudly awarded China’s top environmental

prize – for their work on PM2.5, which is the primary

constituent of Chinese air pollution – by a top Chinese

government official in front of an audience of 300 at the

Great Hall of the People, which is located in Beijing.

98

PROBLEMS:

On Tuesday under a cloud of heavy air pollution, two CAS scientists were proudly

awarded China’s top environmental prize – for their work on PM2.5, which is the

primary constituent of Chinese air pollution – by a top Chinese government

official in front of an audience of 300 at the Great Hall of the People, which is

located in Beijing.

1) Placement of day; 2) modification; 3) level of detail

REVISIONS:

1) Two CAS scientists received China’s top environmental prize Tuesday at

Beijing’s Great Hall of the People for their work on air pollution. (22 words)

2) Under a cloud of heavy smog, two CAS scientists received China’s top

environmental prize Tuesday for their work on air pollution, during a ceremony at

Beijing’s Great Hall of the People. (31 words)

3) Under a cloud of heavy smog, two CAS scientists received China’s top

environmental prize Tuesday at the Great Hall of the People for their work on one

of the key components of air pollution. (37 words)

99

Exercise (9)

HOW CAN YOU IMPROVE THESE QUOTES?

“Our job as educators is to inherit what we have learned to

the next generation,” the professor emphasized. “If we can’t

get young people to learn what we know, what can we do?”

He also said, “We must give people training and give them

inspiration and we must also make sure they can earn

money from this work.”

100

PROBLEMS:

“Our job as educators is to inherit what we have learned to the next

generation,” the professor emphasized. “If we can’t get young people

to learn what we know, what can we do?” He also said, “We must

give people training and give them inspiration and we must also

make sure they can earn money from their work.”

1) word usage; 2) attribution tag; 3) quality of direct quote

REVISION:

The professor said the job of educators is to pass down what they

know to the next generation. “If we can’t get young people to learn

what we know, what can we do?” He also said teachers should give

young people inspiration and ensure they can earn money from their

work.

101

Exercise (10)

HOW CAN YOU IMPROVE THIS SENTENCE?

(topic is how to organize molecules into crystals)

Eventually, however, with help from insights gained during the CXCR4 project, Wu as a new professor and her young team of students used a novel “fusion partner” molecule that would hold CCR5 proteins together enough to form usable crystals, together with efforts of computational modeling, compound synthesis and cell signaling assays from Drs. Hualiang Jiang, Hong Liu and Xin Xie’s groups, which led to the structure determination of CCR5. 

102

PROBLEMS:

Eventually, however, with help from insights gained during the CXCR4 project,

Wu as a new professor and her young team of students used a novel “fusion

partner” molecule that would hold CCR5 proteins together enough to form

usable crystals, together with efforts of computational modeling, compound

synthesis and cell signaling assays from Drs. Hualiang Jiang, Hong Liu and Xin

Xie’s groups, which led to the structure determination of CCR5. 

1) Improper punctuation; 2) too long; 3) improper modification

REVISION:

Wu, a new professor, and her young team of students eventually solved this

problem, however. Taking insights gained from the CXCR4 project, they used a

novel “fusion partner” molecule to hold CCR5 proteins together. They also

employed computational modeling, compound synthesis and cell signaling

assays from Drs. Hualiang Jian, Hong Liu and Xin Xie’s groups. Using these

various tools, they were finally able to determine the structure of CCR5.

103

News Writing Exercise

• The exercise is based on the following invented “facts”; you may also collect real information to amplify on these facts

• Identify the “news” suggested by the facts• Write a lead for a news story• Identify which information you would include in the rest of the

story (by paragraph and in what order) for a story of 300-400 words, 7-10 paragraphs

• You do not have to use all the facts• Prepare at least two direct, indirect or partial quotes (including

attribution tags) for your story• Write a headline for the news story• If you want, you may write the full news story

104

Goals:

• Identify what the “news” is

• Identify relevant information that should be included

in story; disregard unimportant information

• Select and edit quotes to create compelling quotes

• Use indirect quotes, as necessary

• Create compelling lead 

• Order information in a logical and appropriate way 

• Use correct grammar, diction and tense 

• Use style appropriate to a news story

105

“Facts”:

• Institute of Ornithology wins International Ornithology Association

(IOA) Prize

• Institute is known as IOO

• Prize awarded for research study: “The Projected Effects of Climate

Change on Migration Habits of North Asian Water Fowl”

• The study was published in the Nov. 10, 2012 issue of Science

• Institute of Ornithology founded in Nanjing in 1935, later moved to

the Zhongguancun area of Beijing in 1955

• IOO recently built a new 15-story building in Beijing that famed

European architect Ulrike Linhof has called, “a gem of eco-friendly

and aspirational composition.”  

106

• The Prize is the highest international prize in the field of

ornithology.  

• The research for which the prize was awarded was conducted

from 2007-2011, in Guangdong, Zhejiang, Shandong,

Liaoning, Shanghai and Jiangsu. A limited amount of research

was done in Hubei.

• Most of the research was conducted in wetlands 

• Altogether, 25 scientists from IOO participated in the research

• According to the IOA Website: “The IOA Prize honors cutting-

edge research that advances the field of ornithology and has

significance for the larger world.”

107

• About 250 people attended the ceremony

• IOO has 987 employees; 47 percent of employees are

senior-level scientists with a Ph.D. or Master’s degree

• The International Ornithology Association has more than

1,700 members, based in universities and institutes all over

the world, but mainly in Europe, Asia and North America. It is

working to expand its reach into Africa and South America. 

• Many climate scientists fear that the average global

temperature could rise by four degrees Celsius by 2100

• The link between ornithology and ecology is one of the

cutting-edge areas of the field of ornithology

108

• IOO is building a new RMB 30-million lab CAS key lab

devoted to the study of migratory habits of North Asian

waterfowl. The lab will be completed in 2014.

• Two hundred workers are employed by IOO

• The ceremony was held at 9:00 a.m., Sept. 12, 2013  

• The president of the International Ornithology

Association (IOA) presented the prize 

• IOO has a museum of migratory North Asian waterfowl

• The president of the IOA is Prof. Annika Steinberg of the

Ornithology Lab at Cornell University

• The remaining employees have a bachelor’s degree 

• H7N9 has been linked to North Asian waterfowl

109

• “Happy_fun_life,” an account holder on Sina Weibo, said in May

that the Chinese government should control water fowl since they

may be responsible for H7N9

• Quote by Prof. Wang XX, director of IOO: “I would like to thank the

International Ornithology Association for awarding IOO this prize.

We are very proud of this recognition. It is a great honor for our

institute and we will try to continuously be worthy of this honor.”

• Quote by Prof. Liu, scientist on project: “Our research shows the

link between various ecosystems and the danger of an imbalance

in any one of them.”

• Award ceremony held in Leipzig, Germany at the Max Planck

Institute

• A delegation of 10 scientists and leaders from IOO traveled from

China to attend the ceremony

110

• On the day of the ceremony, there was a huge

thunderstorm in Leipzig that made travel very difficult

• Quote by Prof. Yang XX, lead scientist: “Changing

migration habits of water fowl will have unexpected

consequences on the ecology of numerous estuaries.”

• Jin XX, S&T officer of the Chinese Embassy in Germany,

also attended the ceremony

• Jin said, “This Prize is a great honor for China and proves

China’s research capability in many areas is equal to the

best in the world and brings much attention to China’s

commitment to improving its innovative capability through

numerous programs including those sponsored by both the

government and industry. This is a great day for China.”

111

(Sample Story) IOO Wins Top International Prize for Waterfowl Studies

The Institute of Ornithology (IOO) received the avian world’s highest academic honor at a ceremony Sept. 12 at the Max Planck

Institute in Leipzig, Germany.

 

The International Ornithology Association (IOA) Prize was awarded to the institute for research on how climate change is

expected to affect the migratory habits of North Asian waterfowl. The study was published in the Nov. 10, 2012 issue of Science.

 

The prize, which was awarded to the Chinese research team by IOA President Annika Steinberg of Cornell University, USA, is

given annually to honor “cutting-edge research that advances the field of ornithology and has significance for the larger world,”

according to IOA.

 

The research project was conducted by a team of 25 IOO scientists from 2007 to 2011 primarily in wetlands in six provincial-

level areas along much of the eastern Chinese coast as well as in one inland Chinese province.

 

Lead scientist Professor Yang XX said the changing migratory habits of waterfowl will have “unexpected consequences” for the

ecology of numerous estuaries.

 

Prof. Liu XX, another researcher on the team, highlighted the “danger of an imbalance” in any particular ecosystem, given their

linkage with other ecosystems.

 

Research on the migration habits of North Asian waterfowl has been in the spotlight since human cases of H7N9 avian flu were

first identified in East China in March. The flu outbreak was linked with species of migratory waterfowl seen in Chinese

wetlands. The flu outbreak infected over 130 people in China, killing 45.

 

IOO has a strong focus on North Asian waterfowl. It is currently building a new 30-million-yuan lab set to open next year. The

nearly 5-million-dollar lab will be devoted to research on the birds’ migratory habits. In addition, the large Beijing-based

institute, which employs about 500 senior scientists, has its own museum focused on North Asian waterfowl.

 

112

Appendix

• Additional information and examples• Articles• Prepositions• Verb tenses• Presentation writing example• Letter example

113

Articles: the• Maybe the trickiest aspect of English grammar

• For countable nouns, either “the” or “a” (“an”) must be used, depending on whether the

item is specific or not

• “The” is used to refer to a specific person, place, animal or thing:

I was impressed by the quantity of research (not just any quantity)

I went to the room. (the context shows that it is a particular room)

• “The” can be used with noncount nouns or omitted depending on meaning:

Research is difficult. (all types of research are difficult)

The research is difficult. (research on a particular problem is difficult)

• “The” is not used with most countries and cities

• “The” is usually used with proper names, with some exceptions:

the University of Michigan (correct) the Lenovo Group (correct)

the Chinese Academy of Sciences (correct) the iPhone 5 (correct)

Beijing University (correct; not “the Beijing University”)

114

Articles: a, an

• Only used with count nouns

• Refers to any member of a group (in contrast with “the,” which refers to a

particular member of a group):

an iPhone (not a particular iPhone)

a research problem (not a particular research

problem)

a cup of coffee (not a particular cup of coffee)

• “a” (“an”) is often used before nouns that do not appear to be countable:

She has a capacity to inspire students.

He has a strong commitment to his family.

http://www.really-learn-english.com/english-grammar-articles.html

115

Prepositions• The most common prepositions are: about, above, across, after, against, along, among,

around, at, before, behind, below, beneath, beside, between, beyond, but, by, despite, down, during, except, for, from, in, inside, into, like, near, of, off, on, onto, out, outside, over, past, since, through, throughout, till, to, toward, under, underneath, until, up, upon, with, within, without

• Different prepositions may change the meaning:

He did it by himself. (He did it alone.)

He did it for himself. (He did it to benefit himself, but he did not necessarily do it alone.)

• Sometimes only one preposition is correct, sometimes more than one is correct:

ORIGINAL:

The scientist visited Germany under the invitation of the Max Planck Institute. (incorrect)

REVISION:

The scientist visited Germany at the invitation of the Max Planck Institute. (most common)

The scientist visited Germany upon the invitation of the Max Planck Institute. (acceptable)

• Use Google to check whether a phrase (e.g., under the invitation) appears on native English websites. If it doesn’t appear, it is probably wrong!

116

Prepositions: Examples

ORIGINAL:

This important breakthrough news was released yesterday from Science-AAAS

press conference held in Shanghai Institute of Materia Medica, Chinese

Academy of Sciences. It is the first time Science-AAAS holding press

conference in Shanghai. 

REVISION:

This important breakthrough was announced yesterday at a Science-AAAS

press conference held at the Shanghai Institute of Materia Medica of the

Chinese Academy of Sciences. It is the first time for Science-AAAS to hold a

press conference in Shanghai. (Or: It is the first time Science-AAAS has held a

press conference in Shanghai.)

117

Verb Tense: Past

• Past tense describes actions/state that are completed

• Default tense for news stories (except when present perfect is

required)

• Past progressive emphasizes continuing nature of a past action

EXAMPLE:

Last year, the team completed the project. (already done)

He was studying very hard when I saw him. (already done, emphasizes

continuous nature of action)

I was in China for five years. (I am no longer in China)

118

Verb Tense: PastORIGINAL:

SHEN is nominated for his innovative work on the synthesis of novel magnetic materials.

REVISION:

SHEN was nominated for his innovative work on the synthesis of novel magnetic materials.

ORIGINAL:

He has won the 2008 Outstanding Contribution Award in Management Science in China, and China’s Agriculture S&T Award in 2007, to cite just two of many.

REVISIONS:

He won the 2008 Outstanding Contribution Award in Management Science in China, and China’s Agriculture S&T Award in 2007, to cite just two of many.

He has won numerous awards, including the the 2008 Outstanding Contribution Award in Management Science in China, and China’s Agriculture S&T Award in 2007.

119

Verb Tense: Present Perfect• Present perfect tense describes actions/states that started in the past and are

continuing into the present

• Or indicates that something happened at least once (“He has been to China.”)

• May be combined with continuous tense to emphasize ongoing nature of action/state

• “since” is marker of present perfect tense

EXAMPLES:

I have been in China five years. (I am still here)

The team has worked on the project since 2010. (action is not finished)

The visiting professor has been at the Institute of Physics for two years. (he/she is still there)

She has been sitting in the lab all day. (emphasizes the continuous nature of the action, and that it has not finished)

I have known him since 2010.

Compare with: I knew him since 2010. (Incorrect)

120

Verb Tense: Past Perfect

• Very difficult to use correctly!!

• Performs same function as present perfect performs in relation to the present, but does so in relation to the past

• Describes actions/states that started in the past and continued up to a certain point in the past

• Or shows that something has happened at least once, in reference to a certain point in the past

• May be combined with progressive tense to emphasize the continuous nature of an action/state

121

Examples: Past PerfectHe had already studied five years of Chinese when I met him.

had studied = continuous action in the past

when I met him = the point in the past we are using as a reference point

He had already visited France when he began working at the lab.

had visited = something that happened at least once in the past

he began working in the lab = the point in the past we are using as a reference point

RIGHT OR WRONG?

She had gone to Nanjing.

ANSWER:

“Had gone” implies that this occurred before a point of reference in the past. But that point of reference is not specified. (However, it may be clear from context.)

Change to:

She has gone to Nanjing. (no reference to other past event; highlights that she has gone to Nanjing at least once)

She went to Nanjing. (the act of “going” is finished)

She had already gone to Nanjing when I contacted her. (provides a point of reference in the past: “when I met her”)

122

Example: Past PerfectRIGHT OR WRONG?

At the end of 2012, there had been 710 CAS members since the academy was established.

ANSWER:

Wrong. “Since” is incompatible with past perfect. It implies starting at a point in the past and

continuing to the present. Also, the CAS Members are still members now. So, this is incompatible

with past perfect.

CHANGE TO:

At the end of 2012, there were 710 CAS members. (a “snapshot” of the past; doesn’t require past

perfect, since they are still members)

At the end of 2012, 710 scholars had been selected for CAS membership. (the selection is already

completed; this past action/state is compared with a past point of reference – the end of 2012)

There have been ____ CAS members since the academy was established. (describes situation from

founding of academy till now; must use current number of members)

123

Example: Presentation Writing

The Xishuangbanna Tropical Botanical Garden (XTBG) of the Chinese Academy of Sciences (CAS) was founded under

the leadership of the late eminent botanist Cai Xitao in 1959. It is located at 21º55' N, 101º15'E and covers 1,100 ha. Its

headquarters is located in Xishuangbanna, Yunnan Province, and an important division has been set up in Kunming, the

provincial capital.  

In 1999, XTBG was selected along with other institutes to pilot CAS’s Knowledge Innovation Program, which aims to

strengthen the innovative capacity of CAS research institutes through human resource improvements and increased

funding. XTBG now has over 330 staff members, including about 130 professors, associate professors and Ph.D. holders.

XTBG’s activities are primarily focused on Yunnan Province, which comprises both tropical and subtropical areas. The

main goals of the botanical garden are effective conservation, sustainable development and efficient utilization of biological

resources. XTBG is a comprehensive research institution engaged in scientific research, species preservation and public

education. Its scientific research focuses on forest ecosystem ecology, conservation biology and the development of plant

resources.

XTBG offers two Ph.D. programs and two master’s degree programs, with about 200 graduate students and Ph.D.

candidates currently enrolled in those programs. The postdoctoral program, which was initiated in 2004, now hosts 10

postdoctoral researchers.

The botanical garden’s scientific research facilities include two CAS-level key laboratories, i.e., the Key Laboratory of

Tropical Forest Ecology and the Key Laboratory of Tropical Plant Resources and Sustainable Use; the Center for

Integrative Conservation; two national field research stations, i.e., the Xishuangbanna Tropical Rainforest Ecosystem

Station and the Ailaoshan Station for Forest Ecosystem Studies; the Yuanjiang Hot and Dry Valley Observation Station and

a 20-ha tropical forest dynamics plot; a central laboratory; a biogeochemistry laboratory; the Germplasm Bank for Rare

and Endangered Plants; and the Herbarium of Tropical Plants, among others. Scientific research is supported by a well-

equipped library with rich biology-related resources and a sophisticated digital network.

124

Example (cont.)

XTBG has always been committed to ex-situ plant conservation. It currently conserves over 13,000 species of

plants from tropical and subtropical areas both in China and abroad. It boasts 35, i.e., the Flower Garden, the Palm

Garden, the Distinctive Plant Collection, the Shade Garden, the Medicinal Plant Garden, and the National Tree and

Flower Collection, among others.

In addition, XTBG is a National Popular Science Education Base, National Base of Environmental Protection and

Popular Science, and a Patriotic Education Base. In 2011, XTBG was named a National 5A Tourist Attraction, making it

one of the nation’s top scenic spots.  

Since XTBG’s establishment, researchers have completed many important scientific projects, some of which have

received ministerial or provincial prizes. Since the implementation of CAS’s Knowledge Innovation Program, many

monographs and scientific papers based on work undertaken at XTBG have been published, most in internationally

peer-reviewed journals. More than 80 national patents have been awarded for scientific innovations developed at

XTBG.

XTBG has engaged in substantial cooperation with international organizations as well as botanical gardens,

universities and academic research institutions in more than 50 countries and regions. It has signed more than 20

cooperative agreements with international colleagues.

In recent years, XTBG has successfully organized and hosted a series of important international conferences,

such as the 2006 Annual Meeting of the Association for Tropical Biology and Conservation and the 4th Meeting for the

Directors of South East Asia Botanical Gardens (SEABG). More than 10 well-known international experts and scholars

have become honorary professors at XTBG.

125

Example: Letter

Nov. 8, 2013 (Date)

Prof. Agnes Mulholland (Name of person to whom letter is written)National Institutes of Health (Address of person)[Office address]XXX Rd.Bethesda, MD (zip code)USA

Dear Prof. Mulholland: (Salutation)

Thank you very much for making a presentation to our research team during your recent visit to China. (purpose of letter – in this case, to say “thanks”)

Many of the ideas you presented were very interesting and suggest possible new approaches we may apply in our own research. We look forward to maintaining cooperation with your laboratory on this and other topics in the future. (Additional details to support main purpose of letter)

In addition, please send me a complete copy of the data you referred to in your talk. (Other expectations)

Thank you again for sharing your valuable time with us. (Appreciation)

Sincerely, (Complimentary Close)

(Signature, in writing)

Wang XX (Full name of writer)Professor of Molecular Biology (Title of writer - optional)Institute of Biochemistry and Cell Biology (Writer’s unit – optional)