Writing I

September 15, 2013

Journal Entry

How Do You…?• Write down the steps to a recipe or simple

meal you enjoy. Write down 5 steps. • Use transitional time words (first, next, then,

after that, finally) in your paragraph.

Journal Entry

Making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is easy when you follow some simple steps. First you get out two slices of bread. Next, you put peanut-butter on one slice. Then, you put jelly on the other slice. After that, put the two pieces of bread together. Finally, you eat it!

Journal Entry

Making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is easy when you follow some simple steps. First you get out two slices of bread. Next, you put peanut-butter on one slice. Then, you put jelly on the other slice. After that, put the two pieces of bread together. Finally, you eat it!

Topic Sentence

Journal Entry

Making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is easy when you follow some simple steps. First you get out two slices of bread. Next, you put peanut-butter on one slice. Then, you put jelly on the other slice. After that, put the two pieces of bread together. Finally, you eat it!

Transitional time words

Journal Entry

Making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is easy when you follow some simple steps. First you get out two slices of bread. Next, you put peanut-butter on one slice. Then, you put jelly on the other slice. After that, put the two pieces of bread together. Finally, you eat it!

Support Sentences

Organization and StructureTopic SentenceTo make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is easy. Support 1First, take two pieces of bread out of the bag. Support 2Next, on one piece of bread, spread jelly. Support 3Then, spread peanut butter on the other piece of bread. Support 4After that, put the two pieces together. ClosingFinally, eat it!

Organization and StructureTopic SentenceTo make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is easy. Support 1First, take two pieces of bread out of the bag. Support 2Next, on one piece of bread, spread jelly. Support 3Then, spread peanut butter on the other piece of bread. Support 4After that, put the two pieces together. ClosingFinally, eat it!

Adding Details to the SupportSupport 1First, take two pieces of bread out of the bag. What additional information can you say about this support? Think of the WH- question words.

Support 2 & 3Next, on one piece of bread, spread jelly. Then, spread peanut butter on the other piece of bread. What additional information can you say about this support? Think of the WH- question words.

Support 4After that, put the two pieces together. What additional information can you say about this support? Think of the WH- question words.

Adding Details

Support 1First, take two pieces of bread out of the bag. What additional information can you say about this support? Think of the WH- question words.

Put one piece next to the other piece on a plate.OR

Once separated, place the pieces of bread on a plate.

Adding Details

Support 2 & 3Next, on one piece of bread, spread jelly.

A traditional sandwich has grape jelly, but you can use any kind you like.

Then, spread peanut butter on the other piece of bread.

In my opinion, the best kind of peanut butter is smooth, but some prefer crunchy.

Adding Details

Support 4After that, put the two pieces together.

*Think of a detail you can add here….

Detailed Paragraph

To make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is easy. First, take two pieces of bread out of the bag. Place them on a plate side by side. Next, on one piece of bread, spread jelly. A traditional sandwich has grape jelly, but you can use any kind you want. Then, spread peanut butter on the other piece of bread. In my opinion, smooth peanut butter tastes better, but some people prefer crunchy peanut butter. After that, put the two pieces together. Finally, eat it!

Saddest Day of a Student’s Life1. I missed my first class because I overslept.2. One of my saddest moments was when I failed my Writing I course because I didn’t attend class.3. I didn’t make it to the second class because of my best friend’s birthday.4. I missed the first fifteen minutes of the fourth, fifth and sixth classes because I didn’t catch the earlier bus.5. I left class an hour early on the third day because I wanted to go to the bar.6. I forgot it was Monday on the eleventh day of class, so I didn’t go then either.7. I did well in the class because I’m good writer, but Katherine couldn’t pass me because I missed three classes, left early one day, and was late three times.8. I got sick over Spring Break, so I missed the eighth class.

Saddest Day of a Student’s Life2. One of my saddest moments was when I failed my Writing I course because I didn’t attend class.1. I missed my first class because I overslept.3. I didn’t make it to the second class because of my best friend’s birthday.5. I left class an hour early on the third day because I wanted to go to the bar.4. I missed the first fifteen minutes of the fourth, fifth and sixth classes because I didn’t catch the earlier bus.8. I got sick over Spring Break, so I missed the eighth class.6. I forgot it was Monday on the eleventh day of class, so I didn’t go then either.7. I did well in the class because I’m a good writer, but Katherine couldn’t pass me because I missed three classes, left early one day, and was late three times.

Add Details to Your Writing

• Look at your writing prompt. • Try to add one detail to each support

sentence.• Underline the detail sentence. • Did you use any transitions? Add them if you

didn’t.

Saddest Day of a Student’s LifeOne of my saddest moments was when I failed my

Writing I course because I didn’t attend class. To begin, I missed my first class because I overslept. Next, I didn’t make it to the second class because of my best friend’s birthday. Then, I left class an hour early on the third day because I wanted to go to the bar. After that, I missed the first fifteen minutes of the fourth, fifth and sixth classes because I didn’t catch the earlier bus. Later, I got sick over Spring Break, so I missed the eighth class. A few weeks later, I forgot it was Monday on the eleventh day of class, so I didn’t go then either. In the end, I did well in the class because I’m a good writer, but Katherine couldn’t pass me because I missed three classes, left early one day, and was late three times.

Add these sentences into the paragraph

a. Katherine took me aside and reminded me I could only miss two classes without having my grade lowered.

b. Katherine reminded me that three latenesses are equal to one absence.

*Add transitional time order words before the sentences.

Saddest Day of a Student’s LifeOne of my saddest moments was when I failed my Writing I

course because I didn’t attend class. To begin, I missed my first class because I overslept. Next, I didn’t make it to the second class because of my best friend’s birthday. After class, Katherine took me aside and reminded me I could only miss two classes without having my grade lowered. Then, I left class an hour early on the third day because I wanted to go to the bar. After that, I missed the first fifteen minutes of the fourth, fifth and sixth classes because I didn’t catch the earlier bus. During that time, Katherine reminded me that three latenesses are equal to one absence. Later, I got sick over Spring Break, so I missed the eighth class. A few weeks later, I forgot it was Monday, so I didn’t go then either. In the end, I did well in the class because I’m a good writer, but Katherine couldn’t pass me because I missed three classes, left early one day, and was late three times. Support Added

Word Choice

• Word choices are important. You want the right words. And you want different words.

• Synonyms are words that mean the same thing, but are different words. Use synonyms for words when you use a word too many times.

Synonyms

Think of synonyms for these words• Nice• Beautiful• Because• Big• Good

pretty, gorgeous, attractive

for, as, since

large, enormous, huge

wonderful, great, spectacular

kind, pleasant, lovely

Saddest Day of a Student’s LifeOne of my saddest moments was when I failed my Writing I

course because I didn’t attend class. To begin, I missed my first class because I overslept. Next, I didn’t make it to the second class because of my best friend’s birthday. After class, Katherine took me aside and reminded me I could only miss two classes without having my grade lowered. Then, I left class an hour early on the third day because I wanted to go to the bar. After that, I missed the first fifteen minutes of the fourth, fifth and sixth classes because I didn’t catch the earlier bus. During that time, Katherine reminded me that three latenesses are equal to one absence. Later, I got sick over Spring Break, so I missed the eighth class. A few weeks later, I forgot it was Monday, so I didn’t go then either. In the end, I did well in the class because I’m a good writer, but Katherine couldn’t pass me because I missed three classes, left early one day, and was late three times.

Change two or three “because” to something else.

Saddest Day of a Student’s LifeOne of my saddest moments was when I failed my Writing I

course because I didn’t attend class. To begin, I missed my first class since I overslept. Next, I didn’t make it to the second class because of my best friend’s birthday. After class, Katherine took me aside and reminded me I could only miss two classes without having my grade lowered. Then, I left class an hour early on the third day for I wanted to go to the bar. After that, I missed the first fifteen minutes of the fourth, fifth and sixth classes because I didn’t catch the earlier bus. During that time, Katherine reminded me that three latenesses are equal to one absence. Later, I got sick over Spring Break, so I missed the eighth class. A few weeks later, I forgot it was Monday, so I didn’t go then either. In the end, I did well in the class as I’m a good writer, but Katherine couldn’t pass me since I missed three classes, left early one day, and was late three times.

Change two or three “because” to something else.

Step 3: Responding

Teacher/Peer Conference

Sit down with a teacher and talk about your writing to see what you can improve on. Go over the structure and common mistakes.

Self/Peer Evaluation

Look over your own work and try to find mistakes you made. Read it out loud to help you heart he mistakes. Have a classmate or friend look it over and help you find mistakes you made.

Look at Your Homework

• Add details to your support.• Check for transitional words.• Look at your word choices and find words that

repeat more than twice, or words that are the same in the sentences next to each other. Change them.

10 minutes

Self

Evaluation

Peer ReviewSometimes you don’t always have a teacher to look over your work.• It is helpful to have a friend or classmate look

over things and give you suggestions. • It is also helpful to see how other people write. • And sometimes you can catch other people’s

mistakes even though you can’t catch your own.

Peer

Evaluation Get With Your Peer Review Buddies

Read your buddy’s paragraph. • Does he/she have a topic sentence?• Does he/she have transitional time words?• Does he/she have details for their support?• Do you have suggestions on other details the person can add?• Does he/she have words that repeat more than twice in his/her

paragraph?• Does he/she have an ending?

Put your name in the left hand corner of the paper. Write your suggestions on his/her paper. Talk about them.

ExampleMy scariest moment was when I almost drowned. I

thought it was a great idea to hop along the rocks. I didn’t know

how to swim. First, my dad told me to stop hopping. As I hopped

to the next rock, I missed it and fell into the river. The current

was really strong and it took me down the river. Then, I realized

there was a waterfall at the end of the river. My dad jumped in

and pulled me out.

ExampleMy scariest moment was when I almost drowned. I

thought it was a great idea to hop along the rocks. I didn’t know

how to swim. First, my dad told me to stop hopping. As I hopped

to the next rock, I missed it and fell into the river. The current

was really strong and it took me down the river. Then, I realized

there was a waterfall at the end of the river. My dad jumped in

and pulled me out.

When was this? Give a time or date? Was it last week?

Use a transition.

How did you feel?

How did it end?

slipped

ExampleMy scariest moment was when I almost drowned. I was at a lake in Maryland

when I was eight years old. I thought it was a great idea to hop along the rocks.

But, I didn’t know how to swim. First, my dad told me to stop hopping. As I hopped

to the next rock, I slipped and fell into the river. The current was really strong and it

took me down the river. I was really scared. Then, I realized there was a waterfall at

the end of the river. I went into a panic and started to try to swim for my life. I was

lucky that my dad saw and jumped in to rescue me. After that, I didn’t want to be

anywhere near water for a long time. It was a really scary experience.

Process Paragraph

Students will learn to:• Organize and structure their paragraphs• Add details to their paragraphs• Look at word choices• Revise and edit their work• Peer Review

Topic sentences, support in chronological order, details and closing

Think of WH- questions

Synonyms for words used more than twice

Make changes

Ask a friend or classmate to look at it too

Homework• Look at your list from last week.• Pick another moment from the six categories. • Write a paragraph with:– Topic sentence and ending sentence– Transitional time words– Support sentences with details in chronological order– Word Choice Consideration

• Make sure to save all your paragraphs so far. I want them next week!

• Double space this paragraph.• This paragraph will be graded as a homework assignment.

Pre-test

• PRE- before

• This is a test before the real one.

• You have 70 minutes to complete it.

• You can leave when you’re done.