Writing Clearly and ConciselyHow to reduce wordiness

Eliminate Redundancies and Repetition

Although Bennett’s arguments about children being raised by homosexual couples seem strong, there are many inconsistencies such as Bennett not bringing evidence into his argument. In his argument he does not provide his readers with evidence showing us what makes being raised by homosexuals so bad.

What’s that you say? Advertisements today can mislead consumers by becoming

appealing to the senses. Bacardi Silver has a very beautiful and attractive advertisement that could possibly catch the eye of most drinkers. Ebony magazine advertised this particular advertisement from Bacardi Silver, that promotes a new flavor of its liquor called “Bacardi Silver Mojito.” The advertisement uses multiple images to draw in an audience of young drinkers and persuade them to try Bacardi’s newest flavor. This may be an advertisement but it manipulates people to buy what they do not need and covers up something that is not healthy.

More redundancy Advertisers exercise several different techniques to

persuade their audiences to get involved in alluring situations. In most cases, advertisers attract an individual's attention by stimulating internal craving using engaging images. In U.S. Weekly, Dove presents an advertisement for chocolate encouraging viewers to make the purchase. In Dove's chocolate ad, advertisers create a yearning for the consumer to purchase the chocolate by manipulating the situation and by appealing to the need for escape and the need to satisfy curiosity.

1. Eliminate weak expletives There are, there is, it is

Make the subject of your message the subject of your sentence: It is expensive to rent old movies. Renting old movies is expensive.

This is Avoid use to begin a sentence:

The director fired the cast. This resulted in his hiring a new cast.

The director fired the cast, resulting in his hiring a new cast.

2. The verb to be: Minimize use of was and is; use action verbs

by making the subject of the thought the subject of the sentence: A new fire curtain is necessary for the stage. The stage needs a new fire curtain.

Use simple past tense as much as possible: The boy was having problems. The boy had problems.

3. Active vs. passive verbs Active voice shorter, more lively, and easier

to understand: The old movies were ruined in the fire. The fire ruined the old movies.

Use simple past tense as much as possible: They could see the problem. They saw the problem

Do we need all of those prepositions? Minimize “of” by using possessive nouns

The president of the local Rotary Club called an emergency meeting.

The local Rotary Club’s president called an emergency meeting.

Joe Smith of Newport donated a large sum of money to help the building of a new hospital.

Newport’s Joe Smith donated a large sum to build the new hospital.

You waste the time of your readers You waste your readers’ time.

Use a colon to connect lists The auditorium has three main problems. These

areas are costumes, scenery, and lighting. The auditorium has three main problems:

costumes, scenery, and lighting. Jane had the perfect ingredients for success.

These included motivation, determination, and stamina.

Jane had the perfect ingredients for success: motivation, determination, and stamina.