Working with difficult personalities

How to survive emotionally fragile and

reactive behaviour

Nathan E. Ory, M.A.Challenging Behavior Analysis and Consultation, Ltd

Special Education Council of the Alberta Teachers’ Association

Kananaskas, Alberta October 15, 2010

P You can’t tell me what to do!

P You and what army are going to make me doit?

P You have to do what I tell you to do, or else!

Mental health support specialist

Emotionally disturbed, Emotionally fragile and reactive persons.

P Environment should be physically safe

P Level of stimulation should be controllable

P Known “triggers” that “set off” person should beidentified and avoided

P Structured daily routine should be in place

P Alternative communication methods should bemodeled.

Before you begin

P Poor regulation of their emotional states< It is easy for them to go up, or to crash down

P Poor recovery after being over-aroused

P Low frustration tolerance< Limited history of successes

What is emotionally fragile and reactive behaviour?

Contributing factors in most people with challenging behaviors

Arousal cycle for a person who isemotionally fragile and reactive

QUALITY OF JUDGEMENTWITH SLOWER RECOVERY

P What does “shut down” look like for this person?

P What do you know that triggers “shut down?”

P What are examples that show the individual“Doesn’t know what to do when they don’t knowwhat to do?”

P Are there any examples of the individual becoming“stuck in arousal?”

P What methods have you found that work best?< Do’s and Don’t Do’s.< Are these included in a behaviour or teaching

plan?

“Shut down”functional questions

P Emotional radar (wired to pick up rejection)

P Conditioned emotional reactions (old triggers leadto “automatic” reactions.)

< Having a memory is the same as if happeningright now. (Can look like PTSD or dissociation)

How to tell if person is

emotionally fragile?

Personal boundaries are permeable.

Metaphors for unusual states in persons who are fragile and vulnerable

P They are explosive about receiving “correction.”

P They are painfully aware of what they can not doand angry about their need for your help.

P Without a person to reflect or a defined role theyare anxious, display psychiatric or regressedfunction.

How to tell if person is emotionally fragile?

Avoid confrontation by dealing with predictable issues

in a routine manner.

If you can identify that escalating behavior is based on “I can’t be criticized,” set up a way for person to be in

control, yet also accept clear boundaries.

P Perfectionist. Has to “win.” Or, at least, “can’tlose.”< Over-reaction to frustration is more handicapping

than assessed cognitive deficits.< Won’t allow themselves to feel “stupid.”

P They over-focus on immediate obstacle.< Inability to step-back from situation. < They are caught up in the moment.

Personality and experiential factors

P May have little ability to focus unless provided withan external “target” for their immediate attention.

P What they “oppose” is your emotional opposition tothem. They fixate on and over-focus on theunfairness of it all.

P If you do not appear to be “in their way”, they maynot display oppositional or emotionally reactivebehaviour.

P Don’t be a “sail in their wind.” Be cautiousabout being “set up” to give him/her an excuse forbecoming explosive.

P They can not resolve conflict, but they can tell whatis wrong right now!

< They are “smarter” than they can do!

< Able to tell when they do “wrong”, but unable tofigure out what to do about it.

< Life is never “fair!”

Ability to form attachments may be impaired.

Maintain clear personal boundaries

Martin Lyden, PhDDirector, Psychology DepartmentThe Center for the Disabled, Cohoes, NY

“How to become more emotionally thick skinned, Part I.”The NADD Bulletin, March/April 2005, Volume 8, #2, pages22-32.

“How to become more emotionally thick skinned, Part II.”The NADD Bulletin, July/August 2005, Volume 8, #4, pages76-80.

“How to become more emotionally thick skinned, Part III.”The NADD Bulletin,

contact email: lyden@cftd.org

P I can never do anything wrong.

P You can never do anything right.

P Nothing is ever right for me< Constant, ongoing conflict, unable to resolve.

P I’m right and you are wrong.

Personality and experiential factors

Maladaptive coping patterns

Avoid confrontation by dealing with predictable issues

in a routine manner.

If you can identify that escalating behaviour is based on

“I can’t be criticized,”

set up a way for person to be in control,

yet also accept clear boundaries.

P When anxious may be vigilant-challenging:

< “Can you keep me safe from over-arousal?”

Emotional factors-reaction to anxiety

Reactions when under stress or distress

Anxiety associated with “thought flooding.”Momentary focus of attention is like the ball dropping

into a spinning roulette wheel.

Person is “captured” by their immediate sensations.

Mental health approaches

- Identify triggers and protect person from these.

- Don’t “back person into a corner”

- Maintain close attachment.

- Don’t confront obsessive, fear driven behaviour.

- Maintain physically safe environment.

P Failure and rejection. Dependent.

P Confusion and anxiety. Fear, loss of control.

P If you think it’s your fault: Embarrassed, inhibited. Shame, desire to save face.

P If you think it’s someone else’s fault: Angry,disappointed, demoralized. Blame, desire to geteven.

Emotional responsesto distress circumstances

Emotionally unstable reactions when unable to meet own needs

or other’s expectations

Nathan E. Ory, M.A. © 2010Challenging Behaviour Analysis and Consultation, Ltd.543 Marine ViewCobble Hill, BCV0R 1L1Canada

phone: (250) 743-1667http://www.psychologists.bc.ca/pro/nathanory

challengingbehavior@shaw.ca

“Working with people with challenging behaviors: A guidefor maintaining positive relationships” 2nd edition 2007

www.fasdconnections.cawww.autismtodayory.com