Words I never said

8/3/2019 Words I never said

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PREFACEWe live in a day and age where words are powerful tools that shape our lives. They can be usedto manipulate, educate, elevate and alienate people. Words can be a source of comfort; wordscan also be used to condemn a man to his death. Considering this, there are also words that wechoose to keep within ourselves and shelter from the attention of the world. Sacred syllablesthat carry our hearts deepest desires, our minds greatest secrets, and our spirits sharpest pain.Words I never said is an anthology created for the purpose of freeing these shackled wordsfrom their cerebral restraints. Speak as you think is the message. Tell the world some-

thing you have always wanted to say, but never have, because you fear the repercussions.In this anthology the wordsmiths involved will engage you in a hard hitting piece of po-etry that will caress and puncture your ear drums; you will not forget what you have read.When I sent out the theme for this anthology I did not expect to get such brave responses from the writers.I had a feeling that these writers where waiting for the right opportunity...this opportunity to share thesepoems with the world. As much as I was surprised I was also pleased, because this was exactly what thisanthology was craving. Poems of neglect, poems of loss, poems that attack the prejudices that corruptthe moral bre of society. I feel honoured to congratulate the 11 Poets that are involved in this anthology

PhoenixAdam de SilvaAneika Caynes

Knox SoulsLauren JamesKiri Phoenix

Kamran AssadiDSoloist

Zee ChapushaCatherine LabiranEzekiel The Poet

You will see a lot more from these poets in the future, but for now enjoy their words that have beenexpressed so beautifully. I give to you Words I never said.

Francis Xavier LabiranFounder


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CONTENTS

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5

7

9

12

1416

19

22

24

26

29

Phoenix - Daddys lost girlKnox Souls - The old devils moonAnieka Caynes - The illicit greetings of a shackled entityAdam de Silva - Died of a natural causeLauren James - Pause

DSoloist - Rise of the dawnKamran Assadi - This is my Blueprint!Francis Xavier Labiran - Depth of isolationKiri Phoenix - How can a heart be breaking?Zee Chapusha - McLaren MP4-12CCatherine Labiran - UntitledEzekiel The Poet - The longest goodbye


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Daddys lost girl

by

Phoenix@Damidoesnttweet

Lookingoutheglasshouse.wordpress.com

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I dont want you to love me,Love me and then youll leave,

Leave me just like he,Did.

Scared to love,Give myself away,

To another male again.

Left me before I could be,Daddys Little Girl.

Broke my heart before it could grow.So I suffer,

Holding the broken pieces of my heart,Cutting my hands & arms,

Its love I bleed,Slowly trickling down,

The body of me.Giving myself to the wrong kind,

Knowing wrong from right,But to their lies?

I am blind.

I push you away,Before you toss me away,

Like the trash,Same way he left.

So I leave before I am left.You wont know Im broken inside,

Heart screams out crying,Daddy how could you leave me?!

In and out like a revolving door,Never stayed long enough,

Or gave me the chance,To know what its like,

What its like to be Daddys Little Girl.

Instead of love I hold,I hold discontent,

Damn near hatred,So every male must face it,

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The damage that you caused,The pain, I didnt face.

So instead, he feels my wrath,Fireball rage,

From below my surface,

Covered in pain.Confused by my outburst,

But all I really want is for u toSay youll stay,

Love me past my past,Love me through my pain.

Im just a broken heart,Trying to be whole again.

Im not asking you to x me,Im more complex than that.

Just love me for me,Issues and all.Like he never did,

Never gave me that chance to know,How to understand,

A fathers loveInstead hes made me,

Daddys Lost Girl

Phoenix

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The old devils moon

by

Knox Souls@knoxsouls

renaissancebrother.tumblr.com


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Seated with joy in the waking morning of the nightThe old devils moon was also shining on that night.It was a deceiving light in the, dark -So captivating.A lingering charm, yet so deceitful.Joy was snatched from our homes because death came knocking, relaying the newsthat our brother is missing.But the strong man that we knew you to be was ghting that call andwas rather making his way home.We believe war bellows and love cries ll the rooms putting uphope that tomorrow will be a present.So we echo striving prayers for our brother:

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Hoping that you will make it home.

Two days waiting.We pray a tacit prayer through our souls.The oorboards cry out our pain because we press on with our kneecaps,asking Our Master for a helping Hand so he will bring you homeAnd that he may peel the fear off your backSo that you may have wings to face this struggleThe room is vibrating a call for helpAs families hearts echo barking prayers

Apart from God and the angelsIt was only you in this dark jungle ghting for your lifeNo one knows what it was likeWe hope the wind carries our cries to stir your heart toLet you know we are echoing our prayersAnd whatever our Master decidesWe know you lay in safe Everlasting HandsWe are praying for you with loveI even had this silly wish that I would ride a shootingstar to your destination and save you.Not knowing what news the waking hours holdLeaving us black and blueYet like a cigarette waiting to burnWe were lled with hope.Wherever you stand or whereveryou lay I know you are facing the crossAnd on that note I know youare facing heavenNow I truly understand that there is a divinity thatShapes our future and he will never depart from us

Julian Knox

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The illicit greetings of a shackled entity

by

Anieka Caynes@_sasha_smith_

mouthypoets.wordpress.com

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Yooooo! Wasurpppp my...Spook, Spade, Snowake,

Bounty, Oreo.Aunt Jemima, Tar-baby,Illegitimate Mulattoe.

Dirty Worthless Parasite,Golliwogg,Cornbread.

Intellectually Childlike,Boot lipped,

Nappy head.

Blue-Gummed Darkie,Banana Peeling Baboon.Alabama Porch Monkey,Midnight Coloured Coon.

Anieka Caynes

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Died of a natural cause

by

Adam de SilvaYoutube.com/Mradamdesilva

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Died of a natural cause,WellThats what they say.I remember that day cause at that moment my heart pausedAll around me faded,You werent here

So inside I disintegrated,I felt alone.

Why put me through this torture,Died of a natural cause againThere aint anything natural about a father leaving his daughter.SoWhat are they hiding, whats with the lying?I still dont believe the truth about his death,Dont they think thatll put my mind at rest & stop me thinking.

I know hes in heaven and hes blessButOne year on Im still cryingDad I miss youI got to face facts: I cant just wake up and kiss youOr for you to kiss me, upon my foreheadAfter a story, whilst in bedI remember little things like when we used to ght for the remoteor when you used to tell your not so funny jokes.Even the times when I used to ask for a sandwich,you used to put two biscuits together and say Lou heres your sandwich,I used to laugh but whod have known Id miss something so daft,

Something so priceless.You cant put a price on love.You cant put a price on a bond so tight,I remember those times at night, when I needed a hug, when I didnt want to be aloneDadYour presence made our house feel a homeAnd now youre gone and Im alone

You see all Ive got is memories and they play in my mind like a slideshow,Nobody knows,Because Ive got to keep strong, maybe its wrong,But with younger brother, still grieving mother,I havent been able to say goodbye to you yet father

And Im sorry.

Sometimes Im just there, or here. Clouds receiving my stare,Inside feeling my fears,

Im full of worry.Worry that I wont do right by myself, by my lifeWithout you dad, without you by my side.


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I know I hit rocky times but Im still standing rm,Lifes a lesson, lifes a struggle, and Ive learnt,The hard way, look at me dad Im burnt. And have the scars to prove it.Its not right that I gave up.. So I woke up, out of this reoccurring nightmare where my most loved

died of a natural cause, again died of a natural cause.

Adam de Silva

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Pause

by

Lauren James@LStar092

lolojames.tumblr.com

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InactiveOn trial

Based inThe recreational smile

As I breeze pastShrug my shoulders like

So what!As my blood boils

I am far fromFINE.

A second later

Youre goneThe cancer has comeOnce more

It has taken me abreastBut I am still mad at what you said!

Its the radiotherapyMaking you lame

I wish I could have done moreHeld you closerSpent more time

Never leftOr not respond

When you called

Its myOver all regret

Of Words I Never Said

I am a poetWith emotions left

Concealed

I made mistakesAnd now I reveal

Before you leave the doorI run up

And said once moreI LOVE YOU

See you tomorrow.

Lauren James

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Rise of the dawn

by

DSoloist@soloboogz

www.dsolist.blogspot.com

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I put on a brave face and a smileKnowing that the pain still shows in my eyes.I still try to hide it but nothing seems to work.Numb from the pain so now nothing seems to hurtIts like Im in my own world where nothing seems to matter.Just a select few that were always there, no matter.

The night came and the darkness surrounded meCaptured by the cold air I took solace in the sharp whispers of the wind.My mind oating with the clouds not far below the moon

Hoping at some point the sun will come and rescue me soon.Sin eating away at my heartWe all do wrong but sometimes we take it too far.Searching for a ride on the wings of forgivenessI look up at the sky once more to check if hes still listening.

Hours go by in the darkness of the night and Im not even tiredNot a chance of some shut eye not even a blink.Eyes wide open in hope for the arrival of a peachy sky and cream clouds.The darkness ed as the sun awoke from slumber.The day came and the feeling of hope was replaced by relief.

Down on my knees I raised my gaze to the sky and put my hands together.I noticed that I was alone at this pointHowever I had entered the black night with other lost souls.Many had become tired and laid their heads to restBut I stayed awake, waiting for the day.

The day came and I was all alone.Grateful for a new day and a chance to change my waysI uttered a thank you to the heavens above.One thing I needed in this life was love.

I need to be set free

God is my rehab. Like an addict on drugs. I need to be cleaned.

Once again I look up, asking the Lord can you hear me?

DSoloist

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This is my Blueprint!

by

Kamran Assadi@kamranassadi

www.nupemag.com/author/kamran-assadi

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I breathe common sense in,Exhale negativity out,Im happily married,

Positivity is my spouse!I have no fear,

Except of Gods son,His spirit lives in me,

Were both the holy ones!Poetically inclined,To open your mind,

And make creative links,I do it for the love of it,

My hearts the one that thinks!

I grab opportunities...

With both hands,Deadbeat laziness I really cant stand,

I stand tall,In my talent I trust,

Working hard is what I do,I dont like to make a fuss!

Compliments I get daily like celebrity news,Every post I write for Nupe,

Gets hundreds of page views!

Breaking records,Setting trends,You can watch me from the bottom,

Whilst I ascend!Some will say Im bragging,

Im just being truthful,I get the tongues wagging!

Gods my witness,My blessings overow,

Theyre bountiful!This I surely know!

Ive been around the world,But I aint talking about ights,

Im talking about the experiences that I can still recite!Wisdom and knowledge through these has been bestowed,

I pass it down to the younger generations,Who feel its theirs to be owed!My friends cant do without me,

And me without them,Is like the Flowerpot Men,

Im bringing it back,Its Bill without Ben!


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See I wasnt always this wise,I used to make mistakes,I reminisce and smile,

Whilst I eat my victory cake!I dont let racism handcuff me,

Because police dont be my enemy,Me a treat them as friends - you see!

Smashing stereotypes,Like the Greeks smash plates,Colour used to hold me back,

But now it opens gates!

Windows, doors,You can see inside my soul,

I let the truth be told!Open your eyes... Behold!

I drop lyrical bombs...With real aplomb!

Flow so fab,I leave yall on a cold morgue slab!

I y higher,

Call me airborne,Its a new dawn,

You haters add fuel for my FIRE!

I feel sublime,I got my ne...

American dime!I lead by example,

Making that path for my rst-born,Poetry rap to my unborn child,

I drew the map for em!I make achievements,

Like Im running out of time,Inspirational,

Thats why the world is mine!Dont squint,Take it all in!

This is my Blueprint!

Kamran Assadi

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Depth of isolation

by

Francis Xavier Labiran@FXL_REVOLUTION

Fxlrevolution.wordpress.com

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Warm wet drops crept down my cheek,

Leaving footprints of shame in their wake.

Tears,Ive heard about them,Id seen her cry them,

But never did I dream I would be so weak.Was I not the emotionless soul that was prophesized?

Hardly, but she was deceived by my act.

The Sun parted the Curtains that draped from my eye lids,Up until now I had not noticed its light.

Or the winds glacial ngersTracing across each and every one of my

Newly born nerve endingsTriggering seismic tremors that collapsed me to my knees

where I should have beenon my knees

The day she left me,Seizing the air from my lungs

Before they had learned to breathe.

I used to adorn her with more Gold than NefertitiTreated her body like a temple

And when I worshipped inside herShe came eye to eye with God himself.

But her proclamations of GospelI could not decipher

I mistook her needs for wantsShe shook me off her crust

And now I am a man without a world.

The tears pace quicken as they race each other down my faceMy soul is aching

My hands are shakingShe is gone

Now all I can do is write.My sts lled with ragebut its too late to ght.

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They say its better to lose loveThan to never love at all

But she was in love aloneAnd now Im in loveand shes gone.

And now Im here. with this gunThe remedy to my unending pain

Putting an end to my unequivocal shameOut of the chamber

And

IntoMyBrain

The feeling is is now none.

Francis Xavier Labiran

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How can a heart be breaking?

by

Kiri Phoenix@Kiri_phoenix

Kirigray.wordpress.com

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How can a heart be breaking?When love strokes it to sleep at night

And wakes it in the morning with a kissLocked in the grasp of lust

Torn away from right & wrong.An uncertainty of where all these hearts belong

My bed stores the emotion.No comfort from a pillow that changes night to night

The security of the comfort in reality subsidesAnd a need for this love aches in confusion

Like its hard to breathe

And all this romance is illusion

Sixth sense strengthens the validation of invisible feelings.That pain to break free when kept in connement

Beauty when kept a secret, withers & transpires depressionWhen a heart is more than it is allowed to show

Miserys cloud shadows an inner smileUntil the mind catches up with what the heart already knows.

Kiri Phoenix

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McLaren MP4-12C

by

Zee Chapusha@Verattamor

veramor.tumblr.com

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My strength has goneI have lost that thing that wakes me up in the morningThat thing that puts a smile on my tired face and says its a beautiful dayMy inner being has been left torn to pieces like an empty room in a derelict buildingIts four walls being held up by nothing but worn and weary wallpaper

Like a cheetah after an unsuccessful huntI sprung into you and went from a speed of 0 to 60 in under 3 secondsWith every twist and turn I gained speed and momentumFeeling life pulsating through my uid spine and limber long legs until!I could chase after the gazelle that was your love no more

You have taken this once majestic creature and turned it into an empty vesselGood for carrying nothing but bitter tears and hollow breathsOnce the huntedThe sought after

The greatly desiredThe I cant go a day without your touchI have become the hunterThe seekerThe least desiredThe I need a day/a week/ a month away from youI have become nothing more than a good-for-nothing-but-carrying-your-shit vesselMy 100% Egyptian cotton pure white sheets are now stained with the mascara I bought to look goodfor youMy once Sahara-desert-dry pillow now lays soaked as though sunken at the bottom of the Atlantic,

forced to face the watery wrath of Poseidon and his tridentMy strength has gone!

I love you like Romeo loved JulietOnly difference isI am NOT 12It has not been a mere 3 daysAndI love you ON PURPOSE, not by chance...I needed you like the oceans need the moonLike the worlds fattest man needs a gastric bypass, I need you butYouAre unattainableI put all of me into you the way an asthmatic puts all they have into a single breath

My strength is goneLike a cheetah after an unsuccessful huntMy strength is gone.But my spirit is not brokenAnd soonI will rise from these ashes like a phoenix and hunt once again

And go from a speed of 0 to 70 in under 3 seconds.

Zee Chapusha


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Untitled

by

Catherine Labiran@Cathslabiran

youtube.com/clabiran247

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The candles cried into their feet,My toes curled semi-circular,The smog around the moon.

You reect the son you once were and now youSun,Because you had me,In may-Be,Possibilities of showers in the arctic of this room.

But,The truth is I cannot be with U.Vowels are only together in words like airAnd I cannot inhale.

My earliest memories of you were goodbyesAnd now the womb that bled redIs bleeding blues for you.And Ill check the passageway for your shoes

And allow my size 6 feet to swim 6 feet underThe leather of your size 10 shoes.

We didnt see eye to eyeWe saw st to st.Parted ngers between the banisters of stairsI saw the suspension of glassThe spectrumThen the rainbow drip.I crayola, created you.

And I hope you picture me beautifulAnd see the bouquet wedded to my voice-box were I found keys.And see my heart, where I found locks.

The apple is falling.Newton and the snakesBirthday cake to celebrate the strayFinding its way in the mist unforming.

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Im proud of you is deeper than I love youBecause theres a reason for it.So,Tell me your proud.Because I love you is often the regurgitation of clownsAnd I loved the sound of love and how it caused tongue to lick and teeth mum said;

Never reject anything thats free

So I took the I love yousWithout knowing the expense was...

...Me.

So tell me youre proud.So I can sleep.

Catherine Labiran

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The longest goodbye

by

Ezekiel The Poet@EzekielThePoet

zeeksspeaks.tumblr.com

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I wish I never had to wave you offI used to hate to admit it but running away never got rid ofThe words I refused to say- I still taste the bitterness of the misuse and betrayalAt your soft, conniving hands. The same which undressed me and offered me pleasures which areoften in high demand amongst man

But now Im soaked with regret, to you it may seem the sweat of love making which transgressed sexbut its the realisation I wish I held onto my abstinenceBut I can never go back there again. Unfortunately, my innocence is 6 feet under, deceased R.I.P.I say this so I can mourn you properlyAnd shed a light on the truth I hid from your murderer who I invited in to ride the tide that wouldwash you away from meLost at sea, left to drownYou were my crowning jewel, now Ive been stripped of my richesSo I wallow in the pits of squalor, chanting how Ive got issues because I no longer trust these bitches,guess Im a goner

And the doctors cant revive me, my pulse has fadedFrom the moment I consented to strap on that protection I was sending myself out, into a war and thelikelihood of my return was far less than the possibility Id make itBack because sometimes its not the absence of physical scars that determine youre okay, some cutdeeper than thatIrreversible, unchangeable, a decision Ill have to live with for life- lifes hardThat way it best teaches youI wish I never mistreated youI wish I put a little more concern and appreciation into youBut all were left with is goodbyes and drowned eyesMourning you till the ends of time

Ezekiel The Poet

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Published in 2012 by Wordjar Publishing

No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permis-sion from the publisher except for the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or re-

views.

www.wordjar.tumblr.com

[email protected]

Facebook: Wordjar

Wordjar Publishing. London

Compiled by: Francis Xavier Labiran (Wordjar publishing)

Edited by: (Wordjar Publishing)

Designed by: Kelvin Akposoe (Wordjar publishing


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