Wonderland Hell

Alice’s Journey through hellby Casi Walgenbach

Map of Wonderland Hell

Minos

White RabbitWhite rabbit guards the rabbit hole that leads to wonderland hell, but is sometimes called

away so that curious trespassers like Alice sometimes fall down

into it.

The Rulers• Three queens: the red queen, the white queen,

and the queen of hearts rule over wonderland hell. The white queen’s soft-spoken ways and absent-mindedness along with the raging hot temper of the red queen keeps hell in balance. Ultimate power is held by the queen of hearts.

Circle 1: Spinelessness• This circle is reserved for those who not only did whatever they

were told, but other were hurt because of their obedience. The king of hearts resides here, ripping the spines out of those who belong here and whipping the sinners with them. Among these people are the Nazis that helped to kill Jewish people during the holocaust, even if they only had a passive effort in the genocide. Their spinelessness helped kill these people and so they deserve to be in this ring of wonderland hell.

• This circle is reserved for those whom never made a decision for themselves and only tried to be like someone else or a certain group of people. These people are dishonest to everyone, especially themselves, about who they really are. The cards in Wonderland, all except, the ones who choose to paint the roses red, are in this circle of hell. Sinners who end up here are turned into colorless clay and are molded together into a shapeless mass. Well-known sinners in this circle include “emo” kids, whom dress all alike and act all alike, yet claim to be unique.

Circle 2: Conformity

Circle 3: Insanity• Layer 1: This circle is not for the plainly

insane, but for those who eagerly spread their nonsense. The hatter belongs here, for he wishes to drag others into his mad world. These people have violent hallucinations that come to life and beat them mercilessly.

• Layer 2: Those whom willingly fall victim to

insanity. The March Hare is here because he lets the Hatter drag him into his mad world. Sinners here are made to walk in a perfect circle on burning coals for all of eternity.

• Layer 3: Those whom live in a dream world.

The dormouse belongs here because it is always sleeping and rarely bothers to even wake up, let alone to attempt to grasp reality. People here are always tired but are never allowed to sleep, and must haunt the sinners in the previous two layers.

Circle 4: Political Corruption• This circle is occupied by dirty

politicians, so pretty much most politicians. The Dodo is in this circle because of the flashy caucus race that he runs with his pretty birds. These crooked politicians are first chased by a mob of angry demons whom beat them until they’re literally crooked and splash them with dirt and feces until they’re literally dirty. A very famous sinner here is former president Nixon, whom is also eaten by the demons after the typical punishments.

Circle 5: Pretentiousness• This circle is for those whom think

they’re better than everyone else and openly shove it in everyone else’s faces. The talking flowers belong here because they reject and poke fun at anyone who is not a flower. They think that everyone but them is a “weed,” or lesser. As punishment, these uppity sinners wallow in mud and feces and weeds grow from their skin. Then they burn furiously. People here include untalented self-inflated celebrities such as Megan Fox and Miley Cyrus.

Circle 6: Deception• This circle is for those who lie, or

even merely mask the truth, to get what they want, appear a certain way, or to avoid trouble. The mock turtle is in this circle because he is not really a turtle, but actually a pig. He is deceiving everyone around him, including his own best friend, the griffon. People in this circle are made to wear masks of fire that they can’t remove. A famous sinner in this circle is Michael Jackson, whom wanted everyone to believe that he was a white man and lied to himself more than anybody. Seeing as how he doesn’t have a face to place a mask upon, he wears an entire suit of fire.

Circle 7: Selfishness• This circle is filled with the most

disgustingly self-serving jerks. The caterpillar is here because he clearly only cares about himself and is hardly willing to help poor, confused travelers. These sinners are bound in heavy chains and are forced to bend to the every will of the demons in their circle. They constantly crave to serve themselves but never can. A famous person in this hell would be Roxie Hart from the musical “Chicago.” She is willing to do anything to become famous; cheat on her husband, lie to millions of people, even commit murder.

Circle 8:Wrath (child abuse)• This circle is filled with those whom have uncontrollable tempers and are

extremely violent; even towards children. The Duchess belongs in this circle because she is violent towards her baby and doesn’t shed a tear when it turns into a pig. The people in this circle are locked in a small room with a hundred demon-children that tear them limb from limb. Others that belong in this circle include David Pelzer’s (author of A Child Called It) and Attila the Hun.

Circle 9:

• This is by far the worst sin of them all. The manipulation of people is twisted and premeditated and involves a little of each of the aforementioned sins. The Cheshire Cat certainly is the ring leader of this hell; he controls the punishment. Each sinner is strung up by lead hooks and fishing lines, which is held on to by the shifty cat. He controls them and makes them do whatever he pleases, which is often painful and unpleasant. The most famous resident here is Adolf Hitler, whom manipulated thousands to kill millions. He feels the emotional and physical pain of all those he caused to die.

Manipulation