PowerPoint Show by Andrew

We are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

Diplomacy is the art of saying “nice doggie” until you can find a rock.

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.

I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.

I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him “father”.

Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote for some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, “How is the president?”

Running for office has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.

Last year we said, “Things can’t go on like this”, and they didn’t, they got worse.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

I have a scheme for stopping war. It’s this – no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.

One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.

If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him…… The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

There’s two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.

Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossiper.

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn’t go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he’s got.

You’ve got to go out on a limb sometimes because that’s where the fruit is.

Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.

The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can’t ask his patients what is the matter – he’s just got to know.