Widow Being Discriminated

Widows in Our Society 1

Widows in Our Society:

How Widows are being Discriminated

Rakhi Mun Nessa

ID# 072 113 530

ENG105: Advanced Composition

Section: 2

Abdus Selim (ASm)

Spring 2009


Introduction

"My husband passed away nearly one year ago. I am trying to continue my life as

a widow. My in-laws’ and parents’ family turned their back on me after my husband´s

death. Even my neighbours with whom we had close ties for years, cut off

communication with me after I became a widow. What hurts me more than being left

alone in life is gossip in my neighbourhood about me." Those words belong to Moni

Akter, a widow trying to stand erect in life despite many challenging difficulties. She

says she’s overwhelmed by a series of problems, but what saddens her most is the

prejudice she experiences as a widow and thus as a "potential threat" to other women,

who fear widows may break up their families.

Widows like Moni Akter faced with multiple difficulties. On the one hand,

they are trying to continue their lives despite all the difficulties, and on the other, they

are trying to overcome this prejudice which turn their life tragic, miserable and

intolerable.

The difficult situation faced by Bengali widows was corroborated by a recent

report released by a US-based research organization. According to the report, released

on June 23 by WorldPublicOpinion.org, millions of women in many parts of the

world are facing discrimination and abuse simply because they happen to be widows.

The report revealed that Bangladesh was forth after South Korea, Turkey and India in

terms of discrimination against widows. According to the report, around 80 percent of

the general population in Bangladesh thinks that widows face discrimination. In this

research paper I shall focus mainly how widows are discriminated in the context of

Bangladesh society.


Ways of Widows Discriminated

In a developing country like Bangladesh widowhood represents a "social death"

for women. It is not merely that they have lost their husbands, the main breadwinner

and supporter of their children, but widowhood robs them of their status and consigns

them to the very margins of society where they suffer the most extreme forms of

discrimination and stigma.

At first, society looks at a widow as a curse. Even today widows are accused of

being ‘responsible’ for their husband’s death. When her husband dies, a woman is

stripped of her own place in society: “Keep your eyes downcast. You are a widow,

now.” my mother-in-law ordered me. “You have eaten up my son, so you must

suffer.” In Bengali society, widows experience tremendous psychological and societal

brutality in the name of social rules and norms. Sometimes widows are not invited in

a wedding ceremony for her bad luck.

Than they become burden on both in-laws and parents family. A widow loses

almost every right in her husband’s house and there is no-one in her father’s house to

take responsibility for her. In this situation she is in a big dilemma.

It’s common in our society that widow suffer from verbal and physical harassment.

It is widows who are often victims of rape especially by their brother-in-laws, and

many of the vernacular words for "widow" in Bangladesh are pejorative and mean

"prostitute," "witch," or "sorceress." The terrible stigma and shame of widowhood

produces severe depression in widows which sometimes result their suicide. Some in-

laws persecute, beat, torture, and even arrange the murder of a widow.


They sometimes deprived from their death husbands inherited wealth. In the

book Principles of Mohammedan Law by Mulla stated “Under Islamic Law, widows

are entitled to inherit at least 1/8th of the dead husband’s property and land.” In

practice, this share is frequently ‘managed’ and then taken by the brothers-in-law. In a

1995 Bangladeshi survey on property inheritance, only 25% of widows had received

their rightful share in the inheritance from a deceased father, and only 32% from their

husbands. In Muslim communities, widows were treated as their sons’ dependents. If

a widow has adult sons, she may have some measure of security. Without an adult

male to provide support widows find it hard and sometimes impossible to claim their

lawful property rights. But if she is childless or has only daughters, she usually faces

multiple problems, including isolation, denial of land, and even death.

Along with economic deprivation, when a woman becomes a widow, stringent

moral code is imposed on her, whereby her emotional and physical needs are not

taken care of. When the husband is alive she is supposed to deck herself in colorful

attire, wear ornaments, and wear flowers. But after the death of her husband she is

doomed to live a life without any of these adornments. Widows are expected to

remain in mourning during the remaining part of her life. She forces to wear white

sari. If she does make up, people look at her negatively. Across the cultures, widows

are made to look unattractive and unkempt. The explanation given to such an act is

that the widow should not induce carnal pleasures in another man. She is expected to

remain inside the home and pray for her dead husband only. She is forbidden to take

part in any joyful occasion or to attend any family festival because her very presence

would be considered as an evil omen.


Society looks at them suspiciously. Society create doubt in their character if mix

or chat with stranger men and men co-workers. It is obvious that to lead life everyone

need mix with people weather its same or opposite gender. So, its ridicules but true

that widows are treated badly if she has any man friends or having good relation with

any man co-workers.

If there is something more difficult for a widow than being left without a partner

in life, then it is being left with a child who needs constant care. When asked what

widows should do to raise their children as healthy individuals, Sajia Shohana one of

the women’s right institute stressed that these women should teach their children that

they can be happy no matter what happens in life.

At last widows are disapproved to remarry. Unlike men, women are discouraged to

marry for a second time after become a widow. In Bangladesh in 1981, nearly 12% of

all females aged 10 years and over were widowed, as compared to only 1.2% of men.

This is in part due to the age differences between husbands and wives, and the greater

incidence of remarriage for widowers. Because of child marriage, and marriages to

older man, many widows are still young women. If widows are young, it is imagined

that they will be quickly remarried. But most of the time they are prevented by custom

from remarrying, even if they wish to do so. This rule that widow should not remarry

is even more atrocious than that of 'Sati', as sati at least puts an end to her tragedy

immediately. But if the widow is living, her life is socially, culturally and emotionally

dead. She has to live all her life facing the slings and arrows of society as a widow.


Reasons of Widows Discriminations

Mostly widows discrimination take place due to religious and traditional view

points. In a developing country like Bangladesh, widowhood represents a "social

death" for women. It is not merely that they have lost their husbands, the main

breadwinner and supporter of their children, but widowhood robs them of their status

and consigns them to the very margins of society where they suffer the most extreme

forms of discrimination and stigma.

Sometimes husbands are reluctant to share their property or wealth information

with their wife. A problem arises with the widows of the businessmen who hide their

assets from their wives when living. As a result, they are unable to prove their title to

property and typically have no documentation and little expert knowledge about their

rights. Thus after death of husband a widowed woman is generally unaware of her

rights and she faces problems.

The widows have to face many kinds of deprivation: economic, social, cultural

and emotional. Of all the deprivation the economic derivation is the most harmful.

The main reason behind this is the poor economic condition of the woman who

doesn’t get proper education or doesn’t get involved in any income generating

activity. Especially the millions of illiterate widows living in rural areas are mostly

ignorant of the legal rights they have. The research that has been done shows that

household headed by widows suffer dramatic decline in per capita income and that the

mortality risk of widowhood was higher for women than men. Among basic causes of

their vulnerability are restrictions on the residence, inheritance, remarriage and

employment opportunities of widows.


Unmarried women are the property and under the control of their parents;

married women belong to their husbands. Widows are in limbo and no longer have

any protector. There are very limited opportunities for widows living in households

without an adult male to engage in income-earning activities. Criticized for being

dependent, widows are severely restricted by cultural norms in the kind of self-

employment they can undertake to reduce that dependency. As a result they are

dependent in their in-laws or relative.

Widows in any case, especially the millions of illiterate widows living in rural

areas, are mostly ignorant of the legal rights they have. They are unable to prove their

title to property and typically have no documentation and little expert knowledge

about their rights. They bear all the burden of caring for children, orphans, and other

surviving elderly and frail relatives without any education or training to find paid

work.

The patriarchal nature of our society vests all economic and social powers in a

man. In the name of religion males perpetuate innumerable atrocities against their

woman. Even a tottering old man tries to marry after his wife dies. But a young

woman rendered a widow is barred from marrying even if she is only in her teens. She

has to control her emotions and feelings and live like a recluse all her life and die as a

widow. The laws of the religion, as interpreted by the men in the society, prohibit a

widow from remarrying even if she has never experienced the pleasures of a married

life. There is an emerging trend towards prohibiting and discouraging remarriage but

most widows interviewed do not wish to remarry. They fear ill treatment in a new

family, especially abuse of their children.


Actual Practice on Property Rights of Widows

Local interpretations of the custom of the caste determine whether or not a widow

will be granted some permanent or temporary share of the joint family's land or

property. In rural area ownership tends to engender the bitterest family disputes -

never more intense than when a husband dies. A full account of land inheritance in

Bangladesh would have to distinguish between traditional law, modern law, and

actual practice.

In an influential article,Hossain and Kazi (2000) argue that the inheritance rights

of the majority of Bengali rural widows are governed by actual practice. Practice can

differ from village to village, even in the same region and among the same caste.

Patrilocal residence and patrilineal inheritance (the wife goes to live in her husband's

village; only males can inherit) is a fundamental source of the poverty and

marginalization of widows.

Patrilineal inheritance effectively denies widows inheritance rights over their

father's property, and their customary and legal rights over their husband's share of

family property are often violated. A wife becomes the property of her in-laws family,

and when her husband dies they can decide what to give her and how to treat her.

Having broken all intimate ties with her birth family, when her husband dies a widow

has no freedom to "return" to the parental home, or to her brothers. She remains in her

husband's village whether or not her owned land or property.

If there is land, under most caste codes the widow should be allotted some for her

needs, but she is not given ownership rights; she cannot mortgage, sell or gift it away.


She only has the "use" and very limited rights. If she marries away "going for nata",

has no children, is judged to behave badly, she may be sent away.

The reality is that limited as they are, the accepted property rights of widows are

often violated in practice. In a study in 1994, 30% of the widows in a study reported

serious conflicts over inheritance, land, property, and residence. Conflicts often ended

in violence.

Salma (1999) observed that conflicts over land and property are often so bad that

brothers-in-law force the widow to leave the village. Conflicts are usually of two

types: the brothers-in-law insist on sharecropping or managing the widow's land

themselves, or they simply deprive her of her share (often rationalizing their claim by

arguing that they spent money on her husband's funeral or on her children's

maintenance; they might even bring up the dowry question and say that money was

owed). Even if she owns land, she may have no access to wells, ploughs and bullocks

(p.431).

In their attempts to gain control of land and property, the brothers-in-law may

(often abetted by their wives) harass, persecute, beat and torture and even arrange the

murder of the widow. Long after the abolition of Sati, there continue to be reported

cases of women being forced to kill themselves on the death of their husband, in order

for relatives to seize her inheritance.

As far as the ground situation today goes, a Muslim widow's status in the society

defrauds her of many elements of empowerment. A Muslim woman's right to

inheritance is observed more in breach than in compliance. In most of the cases,

daughters are not given their due share in father's property. What generally is


practiced is that the brothers give her a token amount as 'generous gift' and insist that

she will not claim for her lawful share in father's property. The paradox lies here. The

sister hardly goes in for litigation against the brother(s) for fear of losing a cordial

familial relationship. Maintaining such relationships is always the responsibility of the

'weaker' party (read sex). She, however, claims her share in crisis moments or in cases

when the husband demands dowry, and approaches her brothers. It is only the sweet

will of the brothers that they allocate a little share to the helpless sister as of 'mercy'!

Studies reveal that 48.24% of the widows were knowledgeable about Sharia Laws that

provides them the right to inherit parent's and husband's property. But in reality

women do not claim share from such property.

To deal with such deplorable situation the widow has to demand her rights and

exercise them. To understand her rights she has to be literate, courageous and mobile.

She needs to be able to assist her claims along with the males. For a rural widow this

is impossible. Her status as a widow prohibits her from leaving the house. She is

completely unequipped to deal with the bureaucracy, confront males, strangers and in

seeking outside assistance she lays herself open to more abuse and abuse.


Consequences of a Suffering Widow

What do widows do in countries where there is no social security and no pensions,

and where the traditional family networks have broken down? If they do not surrender

to the demands of male relatives (e.g., "levirate," widow inheritance, remarriage,

household slavery, and often degrading and harmful traditional burial rites) and they

are illiterate and untrained and without land, their options are few. Often there is no

alternative to begging except entering the most exploitative and unregulated areas of

informal sector labor, such as domestic service and sex work. Withdrawing children

from school, sending them to work as domestic servants or sacrificing them to other

areas of exploitative child labor, selling female children to early marriages or

abandoning them to the streets, are common survival strategies and will continue to be

used until widows can access education and income-generating training for

themselves and their dependents.

To add to their problems, widows who have survived terrible hardships are often

abandoned or ostracized by their relatives who refuse to support them. The shame of

rape, the competition for scarce resources such as the family land or the shared house,

places conflict widows in intense need. They are unable to prove their title to property

and typically have no documentation and little expert knowledge about their rights.

They bear all the burden of caring for children, orphans, and other surviving elderly

and frail relatives without any education or training to find paid work. Widows in

third world nations have the potential to play a crucial role in the future of their

societies and the development of peace, democracy, and justice, yet their basic needs

and their valuable contributions are mostly ignored. Where progress has been made, it

is due to widows working together in an association.


Recommendation

Widows' associations must be encouraged and empowered to undertake studies

profiling their situation and needs. They must be involved in the design of projects

and programs and instrumental in monitoring the implementation and effectiveness of

new reform legislation to give them property, land, and inheritance rights; protect

them from violence; and give them opportunities for training and employment.

Widows at last have an international advocacy organization. In 1996, following a

workshop at the Beijing Fourth World Women's Conference, Empowering Widows in

Development (EWD) was established. This nongovernmental international

organization has ECOSOC consultative status with the United Nations and is a charity

registered in the United Kingdom and the United States. It is an umbrella group for

more than fifty grass-roots organizations of widows in South Asia, Africa, Eastern

Europe, and East Asia and its membership is constantly growing. EWD is focusing on

the plight of millions of widows in Bangladesh—Bangladeshi widows in refugee

camps. An offshoot of EWD, Widows for Peace and Reconstruction, was set up in

August, 2001 to represent the special needs of war widows and to ensure that their

voices are heard in post-conflict peace building.

Much more work is needed to build up the capacity of widows' groups and to

educate our nation, civil society, governments, and institutions, including the judiciary

and the legal profession, on the importance of protecting the human rights of widows

in our country, whether they are at peace or in conflict. However, progress will not be

made until widows themselves are the agents of change.


Conclusion

The widows of Bangladesh live a highly vulnerable life not only because of

their gender but also because of the socio-cultural customs and flaws in the legal

system specially related to the inheritance of property. These women are deprived of

their rights to income, inherited property, proper living space and remain almost in

social isolation in the male dominated society and trapped in a dependency

relationship throughout their lives. The research seeks to understand and analyze the

socio-economic and human rights situations of these vulnerable groups to be able to

identify awareness raising and other intervention needs in terms of ensuring

inheritance rights, facilitating dispute resolution, receiving public services and aids,

and enhancing the dignity and status of widows in society. The action part of the

research also includes an element of providing training to these vulnerable groups to

raise their level of awareness, build confidence, for changing the attitude and mindset

towards increased self-respect and self-esteem.


References:

Ali, S.K. (n.d.). Widows in Bangladesh. Retrived April 17,2009, from

http://www.women.com.bd/

Hossain, S. A., & Kazi.A. (1985). Situation of Women in Bangladesh. Dhaka: Author

Mulla, D.F. (1972). Principles of Mohammedan Law. (17th ed.).Bombay: Tripathi

(Private Limited)

Ohan, Margaret. "Human Rights of Widows in Developing Countries." In Kelly D.

(Ed.), Women and International Human Rights Law. New York: Transnational

Publishers, 2001.

Republic of Bangladesh, 1972. Dhaka Law Reports.

Salma, S. (1978).Legal status of women in Bangladesh,Bangladesh Institute of Law

and International Affairs.Dhaka:Mallick Brothers

Widows at rural areas. (2008, October 04). Daily Star, p.12

http://www.women.com.bd/2008/05/widows-%E2%80%93-in-bangladesh/

Widow Being Discriminated

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