WHY I BELIEVE THAT SOCIAL SELLING IS LIKE DATING?

OLESIJA SAUE

OLESIJA@GOAL.EE

WWW.OLESIJASAUE.COM

It was the year 2003. I was working as an HR manager at a steel galvanizing plant. I had a

position of a Sales manager to fill in. I had to find the candidate, who had excellent

communication skills, loved challenges, was eager to learn and was hungry for success. I

decided to hire a person I knew was perfect for the job... I decided to hire myself. I knew

nothing about sales at this point, but when you are 23 such insignificant detail can

hardly stop you. My first ever sales pitch must have been good enough, that the Ceo of

the company decided to give me a chance. Despite zero experience in Sales, I became

Top Seller in less than 3 months.

The reason why I'm telling you this story is a piece of unexpected, yet extremely solid

advice that my boss gave me at that moment. He told me –Olesija, if you want to be

successful in sales, Treat your customers like your perfect date. At that time I just loved

dating and somehow intuitively applied something that seemed to work also in sales. It

wasn't until many years later, that I realized that what made it work were 3 things that

help to build long-term relationships (be it a date or a customer): genuine interest in

people, listening & giving generously.

The world has changed a lot since then. And along with the world, it seems that Sales

have also changed a lot. The corporate world is in the midst of an important

transformation: it is witnessing a significant change in the way business gets done. It is

impossible to ignore the rise of social media and the impact it is having on the

companies: the implications for business are profound. While this shift certainly means

new challenges or issues to think through, it also opens companies to overwhelming

possibilities.

Social media is the most powerful networking opportunity ever created. Think of it as a

virtual conference coffee break, which is open 24/7. And you also know exactly who is

who. So getting into this room with all this potential „leads“ might get you bit

overwhelmed. If only they knew what an amazing product I have to offer to them.

Imagine that I would climb on top of the coffee table in the hall and shout – I have this

amazing training you just absolutely must have? Do you think anyone would actually buy

from me? Wouldn't think so.

And yet, when companies & professionals start on social media, they do exactly that.

They see social media as a place for their direct ads or press releases in the best case.

And most of the time they would be genuinely surprised, that nobody cares. And

nobody buys. 

AMAZING DIGITAL MEDIA

And as they start to figure out why it is not working and what to do about it, sooner or

later they come across a term that some would refer to as overhyped buzzword- Social

Selling. There are numerous ways to describe and explain the essence of Social Selling

but what it is really about is building relationships. We tend to talk a lot about B2B versus

B2C- the differences and similarities, but what we often tend to forget, that it is really

about Human 2 Human (H2H). It always has been this way. People never bought

anything from companies. They bought from people behind those companies. They

bought from people with whom they had genuine personal relationships. And those

relationships were built on a golf course, over dinners and conference afterparties. Social

Media just gives you broader access to people you might otherwise never meet. Social

Media gives you opportunities to build and sustain relationships. But the essence is still

the same. I believe that the most to the point comparison is still (and perhaps even more

than ever) the same as my former boss gave me- if you want to be successful in sales-

treat your customer like your perfect date. If you want to understand what Social Selling

is and most importantly be successful in it think about it in the way you would think

about dating.

SO how is Social Selling like dating? One of the most important decisions we make in

our life is when we try to find a person we want to spend the rest of our life with. Finding

the right person is important in any relationship- be it a romantic commitment or a

business partner. Our customers are looking for a long term committed relationship with

companies who are interested in their future success.

If you want to be successful in sales- treat your customer like your perfect date

The process of Social Selling is at its core very similar to the process of finding Mr/Mrs.

Right – Getting to know each other, falling in love, gaining trust and keeping the trust

(and passion) and living happily ever after- keeping trust & passion. In Social selling

terms with would describe the very same process as building awareness, evaluation,

purchase, retaining the customers &making your customers your raving fans.

Placing ads all over the place and trying to sell the moment you come across the

potential customer is the same as making a marriage proposal on a first date. Would you

say yes? Social Selling just like Dating is a time-consuming (though potentially very

rewarding) process, so one has to understand that the same way that the first date will

not (in 99.9 % cases) result in marriage proposal, the same way your first interaction with

someone on social media will not lead to an immediate sale.

So how do you get to this blissful happily ever after where customers are your raving fans

and biggest advocates? First you have to Know who you perfect date or your target

audience is. And once you know who it is, you would know where you could find them,

meet them and start/join the conversation. Anthony Spargo, Director Public Affairs GE &

Communications GE Capital, Australia and New Zealand explains it right to the point-

“it’s really about understanding customers and prospective customers, and knowing

how and where to engage with them in an authentic and productive way." Your goal at

this stage is to let your customers know that you are there when they need your help. Or

go beyond that and offer genuine help even before he knows to ask for it. Speed dating

can be fun and full of potential, but building relationship will demand much more of

you and this is the essence of Social Selling. Great things take time and it is particularly

true about building relationships.

Social Selling is like dating. So placing your ad is like a marriage proposal from a total stranger on a first date. Would you say yes?

As with dating building relationship is about getting to know your prospect. And

getting to know each other involves 2-way communication- having something

interesting to say and listening to what other person has to say. To be interesting, you

have to be interested. In Social Selling, you do this by following influencers, potential

prospects, tracking the keywords that relate to your topic and joining the conversation

at the right time in the right way. IBM has developed a system for this process which

they call intelligent listening and they say this is one of the most important ( if not the

most important) factor that they attribute their success to. "If we didn't do this kind of

social listening, we wouldn't know about a lot of these opportunities until it was too late

to get considered. "Social media let us engage earlier with our clients—hopefully, earlier

than our competition." The cornerstone of every great relationship is in a very fine

balance of giving and taking. In Social Selling you have to be a very generous giver. And

the gift is the content you provide to your customer. It has to be engaging, innovative,

educational, entertaining, but most importantly it has to be helpful. Engaging content

is never about what you do and how you do it, it is about why you do what you do and

how this will change the life of your customer and help him be more successful.So you

met your date, you got to know him- what’s next? YOU have to find the way to their

hearts. At the core of every successful relationship are awesome experiences you have

shared together, the ones that create great stories you would be telling your

grandchildren. And the best way to do build and sustain a with real people- your

customers is also through stories. People don't remember features, facts, and numbers.

But they do remember great stories. And they also remember how you made them feel

As with Dating, a two-way conversation is about effective communication. To be interesting, be INTERESTED

Storytelling is the ultimate tool of persuasion. Brands, as well as individuals who tell

stories –emotional and genuine stories- connect with their customers in far deeper level

than their competitors.

So what your story would be? And how would you make your customers fall in love?