WHO IS BILL DARNEY?

(and, what the heck happened to him in Newport!)

BILL DARNEY’S TALE IS A SORDID ONE….

WHEN HE FIRST CAME TO NEWPORT, HE WAS PROFESSIONALLY CONFUSED

QUESTIONING HIS CAREER, HE DECIDED TO TRY OTHER THINGS…

A

t first his exploits were rather harmless …

GALLEY BOY

HOOK & LADDER MAN

CHECK OUT CLERK

BUT, THINGS BEGAN TO TURN DARK…

T

he XO (as he was often known) knew he had more to

offer the Navy …

but he felt confined in his shell as a Commander ….

S

o, He began imagining himself in higher places.

HE SNUCK INTO PLACES HE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN…

HE IMAGINED HIMSELF AT THE HELM AT OTCN…

… he figured the commute would “rock” since he slept

in the building

HE EVEN ATTEMPTED TO

ENTER THE“INNER” SANCTUM

OF THE PRESTIGIOUS NAVAL

WAR COLLEGE

Although it was uncertain what he intended to do if they let him

in….

HE OFTEN HARBORED ILLUSIONS OF A LIFE IN POLITICS ..

(BECAUSE, HE IS too short to play basketball)

KNOWING DOORS WOULD REMAIN CLOSED TO HIM UNLESS HE TOOK

MATTERS INTO HISOWN HANDS ...

HE TURNED TO PRAYER…

THAT DIDN’T WORK, SO HE BEGAN AN EXERCISE REGIME

FAILING AT FITNESS, HE TURNED TO ALCOHOL

DESPERATE, HE SOUGHT COMFORT FROM A BEAUTIFUL BLONDE

THAT LANDED HIS @&& IN THE BRIG…

Poor Bill Darney….Poor Bill Darney….

In his drunken In his drunken stupor he did not stupor he did not realize it was the realize it was the

CO’s wifeCO’s wife

But the fabled Ribbon Cutter

CO is a forgiving man

HE KNEW BILL HAD IT IN HIM TO FIND REDEMPTION….

((

Capt. Dunn did, however, remember the Capt. Dunn did, however, remember the

“kiss” and decided that the confused XO “kiss” and decided that the confused XO

should not get off too lightly. should not get off too lightly.

He arranged for some professional He arranged for some professional

development.development.

The XO has been reformed. He is all set

now.

HE IS NO LONGERIMPERSONATING SENIOR OFFICERS

And, he generally is And, he generally is getting on very well with getting on very well with

all of his colleagues all of his colleagues around the base ….around the base ….

AND MADE NEW FRIENDS

Even Sophia Even Sophia recognized recognized

the changes!the changes!

NOW HE’S OFF THE BOTTLE, OUT OF QUARTERS “EYE” AND BACK TO WORK

HH

e’s even focused on his job. e’s even focused on his job.

Here is he is in front of the Here is he is in front of the

building he takes credit for building he takes credit for

building ...building ...

WE’LL MISS YOU XO!

BB

e safe. Thank you for the kindness e safe. Thank you for the kindness

you’ve shown us all, the laughter, you’ve shown us all, the laughter,

your friendship and all of your help. your friendship and all of your help.

YOU’RE THE ICING ON THE CAKE!

NO ANIMALS OR SAILORS WERE INJURED IN THE MAKING OF THIS PRESENTATION