When the Church Was a Family -...

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When the Church Was a Family

Recapturing Jesus’ Vision for

Authentic Christian Community

Session #2

WHO ARE MY MOTHERS AND MY BROTHERS?

Jesus, His Family, And the Family of God

[In a strong-group society] the person perceives

himself or herself to be a member of a group

and responsible to the group for his or her

actions, destiny, career, development, and life

in general. The individual person is embedded

in the group and is free to do what he or she

feels right and necessary…

THE GROUP COMES FIRST

…only if in accord with group norms and only

if the action is in the group’s best interest. The

group has priority over the individual member,

and it may use the members of the church

itself to facilitate group oriented goals and

objectives.

THE GROUP COMES FIRST

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himself or herself to be a member of a family

and responsible to the family for his or her



in the family and is free to do what he or she


FAMILY IS THE #1 GROUP

…only if in accord with family norms and only

if the action is in the family’s best interest.

The family has priority over the individual

member, and it may use the members of the

family itself to facilitate family oriented goals

and objectives.

FAMILY IS THE #1 GROUP


himself or herself to be a member of a church

and responsible to the church for his or her



in the church and is free to do what he or she


THE CHURCH IS A FAMILY

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…only if in accord with church norms and only

if the action is in the church’s best interest.

The church has priority over the individual

member, and it may use the members of the

church itself to facilitate church oriented goals

and objectives.

THE CHURCH IS A FAMILY

“WHO ARE MY MOTHER AND BROTHERS?”

1. Surrogate Family in the Gospels: Loyalty to God’s New Group

A. Three Kinds of ‘Family Sayings’

1. A Happy Kind

Matthew 19:4-6 — “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at

the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’

and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and

mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become

one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore

what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

WHO ARE MY MOTHER AND BROTHERS?

1. Surrogate Family in the Gospels


1. A Happy Kind

2. A Not-So-Happy Kind

Luke 14:26 — “If anyone comes to me and does not

hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his

brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot

be my disciple.”

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1. Surrogate Family in the Gospels


1. A Happy Kind

2. A Not-So-Happy Kind

3. A Radically Alternative Kind


B. Putting ‘Em All Together

1. OPTION #1: DOMESTICATE Jesus

• PRIORITIZE the “happy” teachings

• SPIRITUALIZE the “not-so-happy” teachings


Luke 14:26 — “If anyone comes to me and does not

hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his

brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he

cannot be my disciple.”

Matthew 10:37 — “Whoever loves father or mother

more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever

loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy

of me.”

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Matthew 10:34-36 — 34 “Do not suppose that I

have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not

come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have

come to turn a man against his father, a daughter

against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her

mother-in-law—a man’s enemies will be the

members of his own household.’”






• INDIVIDUALIZE passages that don’t fit the paradigm

Individualizing Matthew 8:22

“As given, [Jesus’ challenge] suited this particular person, as, for example, Matt. 19:21 answered the needs of ‘the rich young ruler.’ Occasions and personalities differ, and to conclude from the answer Jesus gave that believers must never help to provide for, or attend, funerals of unbelievers, including those of members of their own family, would be completely unwarranted” (William Hendriksen, The Gospel of Matthew)

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• INDIVIDUALIZE passages that don’t fit the paradigm


2. OPTION #2: Be SCANDALIZED by Jesus

• Appreciate the REPRESENTATIVE nature of Jesus’ encounters with individuals

“The only explanation for Jesus’ astonishing command [Matt 8:22] is that he envisaged

loyalty to himself and his kingdom-movement as creating an alternative family”

(N. T. Wright)




• Take the “not-so-happy” teachings at FACE-VALUE

• Embrace the COMMUNITY-FORMING nature of Jesus’ call to discipleship

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Cyprian of Carthage [c. 250 AD]

“He who does not have the church for his mother cannot have God for his Father.”

[PARAPHRASE:]

“He who does not have God’s children as his brothers and sisters does not have God for his Father.”




• Take the “not-so-happy” teachings at FACE-VALUE

• Embrace the COMMUNITY-FORMING nature of Jesus’ call to discipleship

• KEY: Prioritize the “RADICALLY ALTERNATIVE” teachings

Happy

Teachings

Not-So-Happy

Teachings

Radically

Alternative

Teachings

Potential

Loyalty

Conflict

? Apparent Dissonance ?


THREE

KINDS OF

TEACHINGS

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Happy

Teachings

Not-So-Happy

Teachings

Radically

Alternative

Teachings

Potential

Loyalty

Conflict



THREE

KINDS OF

TEACHINGS

Not-So-Happy

Teachings

Radically

Alternative

Teachings



THREE

KINDS OF

TEACHINGS

Loyalty

Conflict

Resolved

Happy

Teachings

Not-So-Happy

Teachings

Radically

Alternative

Teachings

Increased Dissonance


THREE

KINDS OF

TEACHINGS

Loyalty

Conflict

Resolved

Happy

Teachings

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Happy

Teachings

Not-So-Happy

Teachings

Radically

Alternative

Teachings

Potential

Loyalty

Conflict



THREE

KINDS OF

TEACHINGS

Happy

Teachings

Not-So-Happy

Teachings

Radically

Alternative

Teachings



THREE

KINDS OF

TEACHINGS

Potential

Loyalty

Conflict

Happy

Teachings

Not-So-Happy

Teachings

Radically

Alternative

Teachings



THREE

KINDS OF

TEACHINGS

Loyalty

Conflict

Resolved

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Happy

Teachings

Not-So-Happy

Teachings

Radically

Alternative

Teachings

Dissonance Explained


THREE

KINDS OF

TEACHINGS

Loyalty

Conflict

Resolved


Getting Our Priorities Straight

1. Traditional Evangelical Priorities

(1) GOD

(2) MY FAMILY

(3) GOD’S FAMILY

(4) OTHERS

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Getting Our Priorities Straight

1. Traditional Evangelical Priorities

2. Jesus’ Radical Alternative

(1) GOD & HIS FAMILY

(2) MY FAMILY

(3) OTHERS

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KEY QUALIFICATIONS

1. The church is a FAMILY — not a BUSINESS. It is an ORGANISM — not an ORGANIZATION.

2. The commitment to which Jesus calls us is a RELATIONAL commitment — not an INSTITUTIONAL commitment.

3. Jesus’ radical alternative is not to be used as an excuse to sacrifice my FAMILY on the altar of Christian MINISTRY.

4. Believers in my NATURAL family remain my FIRST relational priority among the people of God.

CRUCIAL OBSERVATIONS

1. The family of God is not here to SERVE my family. My family is here to SERVE the family of God.

2. A family that is deeply EMBEDDED in the broader family of God will be (a) HEALTHIER and (b) more EFFECTIVE for the Kingdom of God than a family that is not.

EMBEDDED ≠ Destructive Institutionalism

EMBEDDED ≠ Utilitarian Consumerism

PIERCING QUESTIONS

1. Am I socializing my children to become productive AMERICANS ?

2. Or am I challenging my children to grow up to become RADICAL KINGDOM AGENTS ?

3. “Who are MY mother and brothers?”

“Whoever does God’s will

is my brother and sister and mother.” — Jesus of Nazareth —

When the Church Was a Family -...

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