What to Do When You Feel You Aren't Losing Weight Fast Enough … · 2020-02-12 · What to Do When...

PODCASTNOTEShttp://www.summertomato.com/what-to-do-when-you-feel-you-arent-losing-weight-fast-enough

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WhattoDoWhenYouFeelYouAren'tLosingWeightFastEnoughTheFoodistPodcastwithDaryaRose,Ph.D.GuestName–AgataDarya: I’mDaryaRose,andthisisTheFoodistPodcast,whererealpeopleuserealfoodtoget

healthyandloseweightwithoutdieting.Hellofriendsandfoodists,welcometoanotherepisodeofTheFoodistPodcast.I’mDaryaRose,anddoIhaveanepisodeforyoutoday.IamtalkingtoAgata,andshehasaproblemthatIhaveheardsomanytimes,especiallyfrompeoplewhohaveahistorywithdietingandknowwhatthatfeelslike.SoAgatacalledmeandasked,“I’mdoingallthesethings:I’vestartedworkingout,I’vechangedmydiet.I’veonlylostfivepounds.WhattheheckamIdoingwrong?”Soessentiallywhatshewassayingisshe’simpatientwiththeweight-losssheisexperiencing—it’sbeenabouteightorninemonths—andsheiswonderingwhat’swrongandwhyitisn’tgoingfaster.Ihearthissooften,becausewhenyougoonadiet,like,ifyougoonanyrandomlow-carb,or…youknow,whatever,WeightWatchersorwhateverdietyoudo,youwouldloseweightquickly,becauseyou’redeprivingyourself,andthere’srules,andyoustickwiththem,andweightdoescomeoffthatway.Andyou’veprobablyexperiencedthatonceortwiceinyourlife,andsothatiswhatyourbrainexpectswhenyou’remakingaconcertedefforttogethealthyorloseweight.Theproblemwiththat,asItalkaboutallthetimeonSummerTomatoandmybook,Foodist,isthatthatisnotalong-termstrategyforweight-lossbecauseitsucks,andyourbraindoesn’tlikestuffthatsucks.Andit’saproblembecauseitsetsupthisexpectationinyourheadthatweight-losshappensinthisparticularway,butthatresultyouareexpectingisincompatiblewithlong-termsuccess.Andthiscomesupallthetime,andifyou’vedietedinthepastyoumayhaveexperiencedthis.Andso,whatIwantyoutodoisIwantyoutolistentothisepisode,andlistentowhatIgothroughwithAgataandwatchherrealizethatherjourneyisnotover,andthatshe’sdoingawesome,andhowtoknowwhattodonext.So,giveitalisten,Ithinkyou’lllearnalot,andenjoy.HeyAgata,welcometotheshow!

Agata: HiDarya,happytobehere. Darya: Whydon’tyoutellmeaboutwhat’sgoingon? Agata: Sure.So,Ihave,overthelastyear,reallymadeacommitmenttogethealthier.I’ma

frequentreaderofyourblog,andyourwebsite,andlistentothepodcast.Andright


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aroundFebruaryofthisyear,ImovedtoHongKongandreallymadeacommitmenttogethealthier,whichmeanteatingbetter,takingcareofmyself,andhopefullylosingweight.AndIhavebeensuccessfultoapoint,buttheweight-lossespeciallyhasn’tcomeasfastasIwould’velikeitto,giventheeffortthatI’vebeenputtingin.Andso,Iactuallygotmarriedtwomonthsago,andnotthatmycommitmenttogethealthywasmotivatedbymywedding,butitwasanicesideeffecttobeinshapeformywedding.SoIjustgotmypicturesback.IlikethewayIlook,butitisnotexactlywhereIwanttobe,especiallygivenalltheeffortI’vebeenputtingin.So,Iguessmyquestionforyouis,amIdoingsomethingwrong,whereIcouldreallymakeitmuchmorepainlessforme.Ordoesitjusttakethatlong.DoesittakethatlongandIkindofhavetosufferthroughwithituntilIgettomygoal.

Darya: Gotit.So,first,congratulationsonyourwedding. Agata: Thanks,thanks! Darya: That’sawesome.Andyeah,thatcanbeareallystressfulevent.Igotmarriedafew

yearsago,andevenwithouttryingtoloseweightitwasaverystressfulevent.So,Iknowthere’salotthatcansurroundthat.Wereyouthinkingaboutyourweddingwhenyoufirststartedthisjourney?

Agata: Youknow,alittlebit.ButIwasn’toneofthosewomenwhohasaveryexplicitgoalto

getinshapeforherwedding.Iwasn’tkindofgoingcrazy.Ihaveahistory,orinmypast,I’velostweightusingWeightWatchersaboutmaybe,now,aboutseven,eight,yearsago,andIwasactuallyverysuccessfulinWeightWatchers.AndIlostweightsuperquickly,butIregaineditbackovertheyears.Andso,IknewgoingintothisthatIdidn’twanttodoanythingdrastic.Theweddingwasdefinitelymotivation,butitwasn’ttheeventthatIwaslosingweightfor.

Darya: Gotit.So,youapproacheditinawaythat,Ithink,isahealthyapproachtothinking

aboutyourbodyandwantingtohaveadirectionyouwanttogowithoutbeinghardonyourself,orresortingtotacticsthatdoyoumoreharminthelong-runthangood.So,that’sawesome.Goodjob.

Agatha: Yup,thanks! Darya: So,whatisstickingouttome,aftereverythingthatyou’vetoldmesofar,isfirstyou

saidhowmucheffortyouareputtingin,andthenyoutalkedaboutyoursuffering.So,canyoutellmewhattheeffortandsufferingentails?


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Agata: Sure,sure,andsufferingmightbetoostrongofaword.Oneofthemainpillarsofmegettinghealthythistimearound—andnotthatIwassuperunhealthybefore,Idon’thaveahugeamountofweighttolose—Ijustwouldliketobehealthy,beatahealthyweightwithoutthinkingaboutit,andthinkingaboutitallthetime,thinkingaboutwhetherIshouldeatthisorthat.OneofthethingsIdidstartinginMarchthisyearwasstartedfollowinganappthathaddifferentworkouts:Ithinkthreestrengthtrainingworkoutsaweekandthenmaybemixinsomecardio.AndIlovedit.Itwasreally,reallynice.Theworkoutswerehalf-hour.Icouldhandlethem.Iwasactuallywakingupinthemorninganddoingthem.Theyweredefinitelyhard.Iwasdefinitelyleavingalotofsweatonthefloorafterdoingthem,butIlovethem.ItwasdefinitelyamoreconsistentexercisethanI’vedoneinawhile.I’vealwaysrunbutneverbeenaconsistentenoughrunner.I’venevergonetothegymconsistentlyenoughandthiswasthetimethatI’vestarteddoingthat.Iwassuperproudofmyself,butitdefinitely,youknow,ittookeffort.Withthat,oneoftheexpectationsIhadwasI’mgoingtogetinshape,I’mgoingtoloseweight,I’lllookgreat.Andthatdefinitelystartedtohappen.I’vestartedseeingmoremuscletone,butthescaledidn’treallymoveasquicklyasIwanteditto.FromMarchofthisyeartonow,Ihavelostanaverageoffivepounds.WhichIconsidergood,butit’snotkindofthisrevelatorynumberthatIcouldshoutfromtherooftops.SothroughoutthatIkindofrealizedthatIreallyneededtofocusonmynutritionandonmyfood,onmydiet.Itookyourbooktoheart.Istartedaddingmorevegetables,butIalsomaybecheatedalittlebit.Ididn’twanttobemilitantandunyieldinginmyapproachtoanything.Icreditmybettereatinghabitsoverthelastsix,sevenmonthswithhelpingmeachievethefinalweightloss,butIwouldloveittobemore.Ittookalongtimetolosefivepounds.DoIexpectittogoasslowlycontinuingon,oristheresomethingthatIcouldbedoingthat’spreventingmefromhittingthatweight-lossfaster?

Darya: Isee.So,letmejustmakesureIhavethetimelinestraight.InFebruary,you

downloadedanappandstarteddoingregularworkout.Sothefirsttimethatyou’veactuallyenjoyed,right?Andyoudidthatjustforonemonth,orareyoucontinuingtodothat?

Agata: Iwas.I’vebeensickforabouttwomonthswithaprettybadcaseoftheflu.SoI

stoppedit.Althoughmyweighthasn’tgoneup.ForthelasttwomonthsIhaven’tdonethem,butIwasprettyconsistentwiththemoverupuntilOctober.

Darya: Okay,soyoudidthatforawhile.InMarchyoudecidedthatyoushouldalsofocuson

food.AndyougenerallytooktheFoodist/SummerTomatoapproachbyaddingvegetablesandcuttingdownonprocessedfoodandthingslikethat.


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Agata: That’sright.OrasmuchasIthoughtIdid.Thatwasmyintention. Darya: So,inninemonthsyouhavelostfourpounds—orfivepounds,sorry.Andthatwasa

gradualweightlossstartinginMarch? Agata: Yeah,exactly.GradualweightlossstartinginMarch.Imean,Itrackedmyweight-loss.

Ihadafooddiarygoing.IdidnoticethatwheneverIconsciouslytrytocutoutcarbs—so,grains—andotherthings—Ifocusedonincreasingmyproteinintake—theweight-lossseemstobealittlebitfaster.ButthenIkindofgotalittlebittooobsessedorworriedaboutlookingathowmanygramsofproteinIwastakingineachday.SoIdidn’tthinkthatthatwassuperhealthytokindofhavethatalmostobsessiveapproach,soIbackedoffofthat.

Darya: Soyouwerereducingprotein? Agata: Iwasincreasingprotein. Darya: Increasingprotein,okay.Andyounoticedmoreweight-losswhenyouincreased

protein. Agata: Correct,yeah. Darya: Andwhenwasthat? Agata: IthinkIdidit,maybeSeptember.ItwasrightaroundthetimewhenIwaslosing

weightsuperslowlyandIwaslike,“Oh,Ihavethiswedding,soIwouldlovetobeatacertainweightloss,oracertainweightbythewedding.AndsowhatcanIdotospeedthisup?”Iresearchedonline,Iwaslike,ifyoudecreaseyourcarbsandincreaseproteinpeoplelosealotofweight.AndforaboutaweekorsoIdidthat.IdidnoticethatIwaslosingweightalittlebitfaster,butIkindofgotalittlebittooobsessedwithlookingatthemacros,makingsureIwasn’tgoingoveracertainaboutofgramsofcarbsaday.Anditjustdidn’treallyfeellikeahealthyapproachtome

Darya: Isee.So,youthoughtyou’dtrysomethingnew.Andyounoticedyourselfbeinga

little…youdidn’tlikeitbecauseofthementalgameyouwereplaying,notbecauseofhowyoufeltphysically?

Agata: Correct,yeah.Iknewthatitwasn’ttherightway.Butthenmaybeitistherightway.

That’skindofwhatI’mstrugglingwith.BecausewhenIwasonWeightWatchersthereweredefinitelyperiodswhereItoldmyselfthatIcouldn’teatcertainthings,anditworked.ButknowingwhatIknownow,that’snotreallyasuperhealthyapproach,todenyyourselfcertainthings.Bylookingatmycarbintakeandmyproteinintakeevery


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day,itjustbecamealittlebitofamindgame.Itdidn’tmakemefeelgood.Ididn’twanttocontinuedoingthat.

Darya: Gotit.Sotheissuewasyouwereapproachingitasanexternalmotivation,essentially,

andyoucouldtellthatitwasn’tright. Agata: Exactly. Darya: Tosummarize…you’vebeensickfortwomonths,that’sawful! Agata: Iknow,Iknow.WemovedtoHongKongtenmonthsago,soI’mactuallyinHongKong

then,andImusthavecaught—Igotsickrightaftertheweddingcomingbackhere.Imust’vecaughtsomethinggoingaround.I’mbetternowandIamactuallysuperexcitedtobeginexercisingagain,torestartmyroutine.Butithasn’tbeentheeasiesttime.

Darya: Gotit,gotit.Ihopeyougetbettersoon.Thatmakesittough!Whatyou’retellingme

is,you’vebeensickfortwomonths,youhadawedding.Imean,youstartedallthisinFebruary.Youdidn’tevenstartwatchingwhatyouateuntilMarch.You’velostweight.Andgenerallyyoufeelprettygood,itsoundslike.

Agata: Yeah,Ido.Idon’tlookinmirrorandnotlikewhatIsee.Ijustwouldliketobe

healthierandit’scomingfromahealthyplace. Darya: ButImeanyoufeelgoodenergetically,thingslikethat. Agata: Oh!Yeah,yeah,yeah.Yes,definitely. Darya: Okay.Haveyounoticedimprovementsinthatfront,orisitjustsortofthesame? Agata: SinceI’vebeensick,orbefore? Darya: No,sinceyou’vechangedyourhealthstylehabits. Agata: Oh,no.Iactuallyfeelmuchbetter.Ihadenergytocontinueworking,youknow,

gettingupinthemorning,workingoutinthemorning.InoticedthatsinceI’vebeenfocusingonthisandalsobyvirtueofbeinginHongKong,I’vestartedeatingalotlessbread.Justnottryingtocutitout,butjustthere’sreallynogoodbreadavailableinHongKongeasily.Ihavestartedcookingmore.It’seasytogooutinHongKong,sowedefinitelystillgoouttorestaurants.Butwedidmakeaconsciousefforttocook.IthinkIhaveaprettygoodroutineinthemorningwithbreakfast.Itypicallyhaveoneofthreethings,andIfeelsatisfied.Ithinkthatwheremyeatingbreaksdownalittle


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bitissnacking,andgoing—especiallykindofsittingatmydeskatwork.IfIdon’trunfrommeetingtomeeting,Ihaveanurgetosnack.OftentimesitmeansgoingdownstairstoamallthatmyofficeisconnectedtoandseeingwhatStarbuckshasavailable,whatotherstoreshaveavailable.Itrytobeconsciousofthat,butthatiskindofonethingwhereIhaven’tbeenabletoovercome.Thosecravings.

Darya: Soyouhaveahypothesisthatyoumaynotbemakingthebestsnackchoices. Agata: Correct,yeah. Darya: DoyoumindifIask,howmuchweightwouldyouliketolose? Agata: Iwouldlovetobe,maybe,twentypoundslighterthanIam,ideally.Iwouldbehappy

withtenpounds,butIusedtobeabout25poundslighterthanIam,andIfeltgreat.So,it’snotinsignificant.

Darya: So,you’velostfive,youliketoloseanothertwenty.You’vebeendoingsomestuff,

andyou’vehadsomesuccess.Andyoufeelgreatphysicallyandenergetically.Andtheissueisthatit’snothappeningfastenoughforyourtaste.

Agata: That’sright. Darya: Andso,thatmakesyousecondguessifthisiseventherightapproach. Agata: Yeah.ItmakesmequestionwhetherIshouldbedoingsomethingmore.Something

maybemoredrasticontheeatingfront.IthinkontheexercisefrontIwouldn’tbeabletokickitupevenifIwantedto.Butontheeatingfront,amInotdoingsomethingthat’skindofpreventingmefromthis,orshouldIbedoingsomethingmore,like,Idon’twanttosaydrastically,butshouldIbedoingsomethingdifferentlytogivemewhatIwant.

Darya: Isee,soyou’rewonderingiftherearesomehabitsthatmaybeyoustillneedto

develop. Agata: Yes,exactly. Darya: Andwhatthosemaylooklikewiththespecificgoal.Imeanit’sinterestingbecauseon

theonehandyouhaven’treallyseenyetwherethisapproachlies,likewhereitrests,whereyouarenow.Youhaven’ttoldmeit’snotworking;you’rejusttellingmeit’snotworkingfastenough.

Agata: Yeah,it’soneofthosethingswhereItrytobe—youknow,Isteponthescaleand

oftentimesit’sahigherweight,thenit’salowerweight.Itrytobepositive.Itryto


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say,“Thescaledoesnotdefinethis,”like“Icanseethechangesinmybodytone.”Butafterapointitgetsalittlebitfrustratingwhereyoucan’ttellyourself,“Oh,that’sokay,that’sokayit’ssuperslow.”Itbecomeshardtotellyourselfthat.

Darya: Right,becauseyoustillhavethisothermotivationofbeingdifferentthanyouareright

now. Agata: Correct,yeah. Darya: So,youmentionedearlier,exerciseasyourfirststep.Areyoufamiliarwiththescience

ofexercise’sroleinweight-loss?Justoutofcuriosity. Agata: Um,yes.Imean,Iknowthatit’sbestformaintainingweight-loss,andnotforweight-

lossitself.Andit’salwayseasiertomaintainweight-losswithexercise.Isthatkindofwhatyou’rereferringto?

Darya: Yeah,exactly.SothewaythatItrytoexplaintopeopleisthatifyou’retryingto

exercisetoloseweight,it’sareallytoughbattleforalotofpeoplebecauseitmakesyoumorehungry.Granted,therearesomepeoplewhocanstartexercisingandloseweight.Butformostpeople,exercise—especiallyifitisrigorousexercise—tendstomakeyoumorehungry.It’sgreatforhealth.Itcandogreat,beautifulthingstothewayyoulook.Butifyou’retryingtoactuallyloseweight,itcangettricky,becauseyouenduptakinginmorecaloriesthanyouusuallyendupburningoff.

Agata: Yeah,that’strue. Darya: Sojustkeepthatinmind.Ilovethatyoulikeyourexercise.That’sreallygood,andI

wouldkeepexercisingforthatreason:becauseyoureallyenjoyit,itgivesyoumoreenergy,andlikeyou’vesaid,you’venoticeditdoeshelpwithcontouringyourbodyinverylovelyways.Sothat’sdefinitelyagoodthingtodo.Butlikeyousaid,moreexerciseisprobablynotgoingtosolveanythingintermsofweight.Solet’stalkaboutyouroptions.WhenIhearyourstory,Ihearsuccess.

Agata: Okay. Darya: Youknow,Ihearthatwhatyou’redoingisworking.You’vebeenworkingout,youare

cookingmoreathome,you’reeatingmorevegetables,you’vekindofmessedaroundwithplayingwithdifferentmacronutrients—Ididn’treallygetthesensethatyouweredoingthosetoseehowyoufeel.Igotmoreofthesensethatyouweredoingthatto


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arbitrarilytryadiet.Andyouhadalittlebitofsuccesswiththat,whichcouldeasilyhavebeenwaterweight,although…didyougaintheweightbackorno?

Agata: Uh,yeah.Imean,itwasonlylikeacoupleofpounds,butyes. Darya: Soonethinglowcarbdietsdoistheycauseyoutoshedwaterreallyquicklysothat

theonlyweightlossfromthatisusuallywater. Agata: Okay,gotit. Darya: Sothatwasn’tmaybethebestexperiment,butyougaveitawhirl. Agata: Yup,yeah,andalsoIbackedawaybecauseofthatmentalitythatIdeveloped.Given

myexperiencewithtryingtodietwithWeightWatchersbefore,IknewthatIdon’twanttojustreachmygoal.Iwanttoreachmygoalandstaythere;andnotchangemybehaviorwhenIreachmygoal,butchangemybehaviortoreachmygoal.Iguess,ifthatmakessense.

Darya: Yes,thatisagreatinsight.Andthatisagoodinstinct,even,ofyours,becauseyou

knowthatit’sadangerouspath. Agata: Yeah,Idon’twantto,wheneverIreachmygoal,beinastatewhereIamconstantly

fightingnottoregaintheweight.I’vebeentherebefore,andit’sjustdevastating,andIdon’twantitagain.

Darya: Yeah,good.Good.So,that’sgood.Solet’sscratchthatasanoption.Andyousaidyou

triedtoeatmindfullywhenyougoout—youmentionedthatearlier—canyouelaborateonthat?

Agata: Sure.So,oneofthethingsthatItrytodo,givenwhatI’vereadonSummerTomato

andwhatI’vekindofreadfromothersiswell,iseatmoreslowly,whichIknowIhavetroublewith.Andalsoreally,asI’meating,bemoreconsciousofhowfullIam.SoIdon’teattoofastandgetoverlyfull.AndI’vegottenbetteratthat,butitisdefinitelysomewhereIstruggleataswell.IthinkinrestaurantsI’vedefinitelygottenbetterwherewe’reeatingandIfeelmyselfgettingtothepointwhereIamcomfortablysatisfiedandIdon’twanttogopastthatpoint.Sometimesit’snotaseasy,butIhavegottenintothehabit,forexample,wewentbackpackingthisweekendandthentreatedourselvestoaburgerandfriesafterwardsandIknewthatIactuallywasn’thungryenoughtoeatthefullburger,soIatehalf,andIhadoneortwofries.InthepastIwouldhavebasicallyhaditall,becauseitwasrightthere.SoIwasabletocontrolthat,andIdidn’tfeellikeIwasdeprivingmyself.

Darya: That’sfantastic!


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Agata: Thanks.I’mnotperfectatthat,butIhavegottenbetter.Especiallyatwork,whatIfind

interestingactually,Darya,isthatwhenIlookatmyeatinghabitsthroughouttheweek,typicallyIstrugglemostontheweekdays.Ontheweekends,Ihavebreakfast—andI’mprettygoodathavingafillingbreakfast—andthenIactuallydon’tstrugglewithsnackingandhavingcravings.AndI’mverygoodatjusthavingthreemealsaday,orifIhaveasnackIhavealightsnack.It’sreallytheMondaythroughFridaywhereIstrugglemore,whereIkindofhavethesecravings.AndwhenIhavetokindofconstantlyaskmyself,“AmIfeelinghungry?”andit’slike,“UmmmnotreallybutIwouldliketoeatsomething.”Andit’sdayswhenIamnotrunningaroundandIdon’thaveatonofmeetingssoIdon’thavetimetothinkaboutit.It’sdayswhenIactuallyhavetimetodoworkonmydesk,andthat’swherethosethoughtspopup.OftentimesI’mnotabletocontrolthemandbedisciplinedenoughtosay,“youknowwhat,no,Idon’twantacookie,”or“Idon’twantsomethingsweet,”like“I’mfinewithwhatI’vebroughtfromhome.”

Darya: Thisisafantasticinsight. Agata: Yeah.Yeah,it’strue. Darya: You’reidentifyingatriggerenvironment,ortriggersituation.Actually,you’vegotit

narroweddownquiteabit.Notonlydidyounarrowitdowntoweekdays,andnarrowitdowntowork,butspecificallyondayswhereyouhavelittlemoretimetofeelanxietyortoavoiddoingstuffyoudon’twanttodo,orwhatever.

Agata: Right. Darya: So,that’satarget.It’satargethabit.You’venoticedit.Therearewholeepisodeson

thisshowabouthowtohandleanxietyeatingandthingslikethat.Inyourcase,I’minterestedinyouroverallquestionbecauseIthinkweneedtoaddressthattoday.Becauseyouroverallquestionwas,“I’mimpatient,amIdoingsomethingwrong?”

Agata: Yes. Darya: Andyouhavemadetremendousprogress.Ithasn’tevenreallybeenayear.Youhave

workouthabitsyoulove,you’recookingmore—youactuallyhaveanamazingmindfuleatinghabityou’reworkingonthatcanbedevelopedfurther.Imean,basicallyyouhaveaseriesofthreeorfourhomecourthabitsatthemoment.Youknow,youneedmore!Andthat’sthetrickwiththiswholeapproach.Itisn’taonesilverbullet.

Agata: Yeah,Imean,hearingsomeofyourotherpodcast,it’slike“Ichangethisonelittle

thingandthentheweightflewoff,theregoestenpounds.”


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Darya: Inevitablythosepeoplealreadyhadsevenotherhabitsinarow. Agata: That’strue.That’strue!Yeah.Soit’sreallyaboutbuildingupadditionalhabitsfor

myselftotargetwhatIneedtochange.Imean,justfromtalkingtoyou,IknownowwhereIneedtofocuson.EspeciallyforthetwomonthsthatI’vebeensick,Darya,Iactuallyhaven’tgainedanyweight.Ihavestayedconstantwithouttheexercise,andIhavebeenwatchingwhatIate.Soit’sreallyabouthowdoIpreparemyselfbetterfortheworkweek.HowtoIdevelopmoreofthosehabitssoIcaneliminatethoselastfewthingsthatarekeepingmefromthejourneywithacknowledgingeverythingthatIhavedonealready.

Darya: Icouldn’thavesaiditbettermyself.Soyouhaven’tbeenfailing,right?Youhavebeen

succeeding.There’sjustmoreworktodo. Agata: Yes. Darya: Andit’snotlike—andIgetthisquestionalot—peoplewanttoknow,“I’vedonethese

fourthings!ShouldIstartdietingnow?”It’slike,wellyou’vetoldmeamilliontimesyoudon’twanttodothat,like,youknowyoudon’twanttodothat.ButIunderstandcompletelyhoweasyitistobecomediscouragedwhenwhatyou’vedonehasn’ttakenyouallthewaythere.It’sfunny,it’sthesamethingwithcookingtosomeextent.Ihavebeenthinkingalotaboutcooking.OneofthethingsthatweteachinFoodistKitchen,isthatcookingisn’tjustonehabit.It’slikeeighthabits.Youneedtohaveagrocerystopshoppinghabit.Youhavetoknowknifeskills.Youhavetoknowflavorpairing.Youhavetoknow—ifyouarefeedingpeoplethataren’tyourself—youneedtoknowtheirfoodpreferencesandhowtotalktothemsothatthey’llacceptwhatyoucook.Youknow,thereisallthesethingsarounditthat—seasoningandallthatstuff.Sothere’sallthesethingsaroundit.Youcan’tjustlearnoneofthemandexpecttowhipupThanksgivingdinner.

Agata: Yeah,that’strue. Darya: So,Ithinkiswhat’shappeninghere.AndI’mgladthatitsortofclickedinto

recognition,justwithwhatyou’vesaidamomentago,inthatyouunderstandthattherearemorehabitstohack,essentially.Andwhatyou’vedoneisgreat.Andkeepthoseup!Bytheway,forthoseareyourhomecourthabits.Defendthemwithallyourmight.That’sreallyimportant,becausewhatyoudon’twanttohappenisyoustartaddingnewstuffandyouletthoseotherthingsdropbecauseyoudon’tthinkthey’reimportant.Sothat’swhyit’simportantthatyoualwaysmakesureyoulovethem.

Agata: Yeah,exactly.Yeah,you’reright.It’sliketherehastobeacompletepicture.IfIhave

allthehomecourthabitsthatIshouldbedoing,andifI’monlydoing,Idon’tknow,


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60%ofthem,thenyeah,weight-lossescomebutit’sdefinitelykindofslowandpainfulintermsofitisslow,right?AndIgetimpatient.ButtherearealloftheseotherthingsthatIcouldslowlyaddinsothattheybecomemyroutine.Forme,I’mthinkingthatIneedtobealotbetter,alotmoremindful,aboutplanningallthefoodthatItaketowork.Sonotonlyhavingkindofamealforlunch,whichtypicallyisleftoversfromthedaybefore,whichI’mprettygoodatdoing,butI’malsohavingalloftheselittlesnacksthatarehealthy,thatarenutritious,sothatIdon’tfeelcompelledtogodownstairsandgrabwhatevertypicallyaprettybadchoiceotherwise.Ihaven’tfocusedonthathabitatall,andonethat’sblinkingredformerightnow.IfIonlyhadthat,Iwouldbeabletocontrolmyenvironmentalittlebitbetteratwork.

Darya: Yeah,Ibetthatwillbeabigoneforyou.Oneofthereasonswhyisbecauseit’severy

day.Youknow,thoseweekdayhabits,thosearekiller. Agata: Yeah,Imean,ittookmeawhile.BeforeIwasgoingoutforlunch—andnotgoingout

toarestaurant,butIwasgrabbingasaladorsomesushifromthesupermarketdownstairs.Ittookmealongtimetosay,“Youknowwhat,ifIwanttogethealthier,Iprobablyshouldstartbringingstufffromhomeinstead.Becauseevenasalad,youdon’twanttohavetogoouteveryday,youdon’twanttograbthateveryday,becauseinevitablyyougrabasaladandacookie,orasaladandthatsugarydrink,right?Andso,IthinknowthatIhavethat,there’ssomuchmorethatIthinkIcoulddo.That’strue.

Darya: Yeah,andkeepinmindthat—again,I’mgoingtokeepdrillingthishome—thoseother

habitsarestillworking.Sowhathappensisyou’relosingweightfromthosethings.Slowly,butit’shappening.Youknow,andyouaddanotherone.Maybethataddsanotherpoundamonth,sonowyou’relosingtwopoundsamonthinsteadofone.It’sjustnotthetypeofsuccessweexpect.Andoneofthetraps,bytheway,thatI’llwarnyouofis,nowthatyouhavethisreframe,continuetoonlytackleonehabitatatime.Doesthatmakesense?

Agata: Yeah,yeahitdoes. Darya: They’redifficult.YouknowwhatImean?Andifyou’relike,“I’vegottenmorenew

thingsI’vegottodo!”There’sagoodchanceyou’lldononeofthem,andyou’llstarttofeelguiltyfornotdoingthem.There’sawholepsychologyaroundtryingtodotoomuch,also.So,you’vebeenreallygoodsofarintakingtheslowandsteadyapproach.AndIjustwanttowarnyouthatifyoufeellikeyoustartneedingtodo,like,12thingsextra,thatitcanstarttofeeloverwhelmingandunderminetheprogressyou’vemade.


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Agata: Mmm,yeah.SothewaythatIhearwhatyou’resayingisthatyoustillhavetoworkatthenewhabits,butyoustillhavetobemindfulthattheyfeellike,afteryou’veinstilledthem,theyfeeleffortless.Asifnotdoingthemwouldbesilly.Andifyoudon’tfeellikethat,youkindofareprobablytakingontoomuch,andwanttochangetoomuchatonce.

Darya: Yeah,exactly.Andit’satrickybalance,too.BecauseIdon’twanttogiveyouthe

illusionthatallmyhealthyhabitsaresupereasy.It’snotthatIdon’thavetoputeffortintoit.It’smorethatIrespectthem,andIcherishwhattheygiveme,andIknowwhathappenswithoutthem.That’sactuallyabigpartofit,becauselike,whathappenswithoutthemisaverybadthing.Notjustforweight-loss,butformypsychology,andhowIfeel,andforalotofthings.That’swhythatpartissoimportant,becauseitmakesitsothatyouneverwanttoletthemslip.Soyouhavethisnewapproach,whereyouaddanewone.Andyoumightrealizethat—let’ssayyousaidnextyou’lltacklethislunchthing—inacoupleofmonthsthatyougotthatnailedandyoulostanotherfivepoundsandthat’sgreat.Maybeatthatpointyou’relike,“MaybeI’lltakethismindfuleatingthingalittlebitmoreseriously.”Soit’snotjustwhenI’mgoingoutandnotwolfingdownmyfood,butreallyjustaddressingthat.Orsomethingelse.Idon’tknow,itcanbealotofthings.

Agata: Itotallyhearyou.Ithinkwhatyou’vegivenmehere,Darya,istheunderstandingthat

itisnotthatI’velostfivepoundsoverthelastsixmonthsandI’vebeenfailingbecauseIshouldhavelostalotmore;butit’smoreI’velostfivepoundsinthelastsixmonths,it’sgreat!AndtherearethingsthatIcouldbedoingmore,likeotherhabitsthatIcouldpickupandworkonthatmightacceleratetheapproach.Overall,ithasbeenasuccess.Thatreframingis,Ithink,whenIlookatitnow,it’ssuperimportant.It’snice,itgivesmealmostpermissiontosay,“Youknowwhat,Ihavebeendoingagreatjob,”“Keepgoing!”and“Doacouplemorethingsandseewhatelseworkstogoalittlebitfaster,”butdon’tdiscountwhatIhavedoneoverthelastsixmonths.

Darya Absolutely,andthere’sactuallyonemoreimportantpointyoumademeremember,

whichisthatthere’sareallygoodchanceyouwerenotreadytotackleyourweekdayworksnacksbefore.YouknowwhatImean?Sothat’samorecomplexhealthstyleproblem,causemyguessisyou’regoingtofindthatthere’semotionsinvolved.Youknow,whetherit’sanxietyorsomething.Andthat’sahardplacetostartwithanewhealthstyle.YouknowwhatImean?Like,you’vealreadydevelopedahabitofcooking,you’vealreadyembracedvegetables,youalreadywakingupearly,youhavetheenergy—andthisisimportantbecauseofyourworkouts,becauseofhowyou’reeating—tomaybeuse…withoneofthoseanxietyhabits,thosecansometimestakesomewillpowertodosomeexperimentingtheretojustfigureitout.Andbecauseofyourhabitsthatyou’vedevelopedalready,youhavemoreconfidence,andalsothestaminatomaybegetthroughthatnextproblem.


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Sothat’sonethingtokeepinmindtoo.Youcanovercomethesedifferentobstacleswhenyou’rereadytodoso.It’snotnecessarilysomebodyelsehasthisproblem.It’snotnecessarilythefirstplacetostart.Startwithwhat’seasy,becausethatbuildsupmomentumforwhatevercomesnext.

Agata: Yeah,you’reright.MaybeIknewthatitwouldbesomethingIwouldhavetotacklein

thelong-term,butit’sonlynowkindofapparentthatthisisthethingthatIneedtofocuson,becauseIhavealotofotherthingsalreadyinplace,andI’mdoingthemandtheyfeelimportanttome.Theyfeelgood.Andnowthisistheblackboxtofocusonatthisparticulartimetomakemoreprogress.

Darya: Awesome.I’mexcitedforyou.Iactuallythinkthisisgoingtobeabigoneforyou.Like

Isaid,it’soneofthose,thosearebig—likeweekdayhabitsarebighabitsbecausetheyhappensofrequentlyandyeah.Ilookforwardtohearingaboutyourprogress.Ithinkthatyouhaveareallygreatoutlook,anditsoundslikeyou’redoingeverythingright.

Agata: Thanks,Darya.Thankssomuchforhelpingmereframeit.Itreallymeansalot,andI’m

excitedtotryandtacklethose.AndI’llletyouknowhowitgoes.Definitely. Darya: Pleasedo.Itismyabsolutepleasure.Takecare. Agata: Bye,Darya.Thankyou. Darya: ThanksforlisteningtoTheFoodistpodcast.I’mDaryaRose,andifyou’reinterestedin

upgradingyourownhealthstyle—learninghowgethealthyandloseweight,withoutdieting,andwithoutallofthesufferingthatitbrings—thenheadovertomywebsite,SummerTomatoandsignupformyweeklynewsletter.Whenyousignup,you’llgetafreestarterkitthatwillteachyouthebasicsofhowtostartchangingthewayyouthinkaboutfood,health,andweight-loss.You’llalsogetafreechapterfrommybook,Foodist,called“TheMythofWillpower”thatexplainsthesciencebehindwhythe“NoPain,NoGain”mantraoftheweight-lossindustryistheabsoluteworstapproachintogettinghealthy.SocomeovertheSummerTomatoandsignup.Wehaveafantasticcommunity,andwewouldlove,love,love,tohaveyou.Thanksforlistening,andIwillseeyounexttime.

What to Do When You Feel You Aren't Losing Weight Fast Enough … · 2020-02-12 · What to Do When...

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