What Makes Smart Lawyers Fail – How to Increase Your Emotional

Intelligence and Your Impact!

Steve Roth Norma Formanek Dan HarperVP & General Counsel SVP & General Counsel Assistant General CounselJewelry Television Trilliant, Inc. CTS Corporation

LaKeisha Marsh Elizabeth Wall

Associate Vice President & Counsel Founder & PresidentTCS Education System Elizabeth

Wall Partners International

Introduction and Objectives

• Panelists• EQ Overview• EQ & Leadership• EQ & Clients• EQ in International Context• EQ in Unique Situations

The First EQ

Game Show

A & FEQ

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Phil Jackson

Be Present

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Sean Combs

Be Authentic

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Aretha Franklin

R-e-s-p-e-c-t

Iggy Azalea

Fancy

No empathy

EQ WORKOUT

THE FINE PRINT

Emotional Intelligence &

Leadership

C-Suite: This, or That

CFO

Legal

HREng/Mfr

Sales

The smart and successful lawyer• Represents the organization in a way that

supports– Sustained economic growth – Balanced risk taking and risk management– Integrity – letter and spirit of the rules

• High performance + high integrity = satisfied shareholders, employees, creditors, customers, suppliers, regulators

Emotional intelligence can help you get there!

Tale # 1

People are watching – what do they see?

Tale # 2

EQ help for the struggling peer • Listen, don’t judge• Solicit the facts, don’t attack• Collaborate on solutions, don’t lecture• Use your strengths to supplement, not

undermine • “We win,” not “I win, you lose”

Tale # 3- aftermath of a bad meeting

One good snark deserves another?• “Then why didn’t you say something?” = You

blew it!• “Yeah, you’re right about that.” = I feel your

pain but I’m not getting involved• “At my last company I had to clean up a mess

just like that . . . “ = It’s all about me• “What’s happening that worries you about the

delivery schedule?” = I’m interested – and maybe there’s a solution?

Tale 4 – IEDs in the C-Suite

Is there a way out?• Don’t tell an angry person to calm down• Anger arises from something & won’t be defused

by “you’re wrong!” (don’t get defensive)• If calm is possible, “This is important; help me

understand your concern” • If calm is not possible, take a time out, but re-

engage – and soon• If you are a bystander, can you become a

mediator?

EQ and You (and Me)– I can listen better– I can learn to manage my emotional reactivity– I know tone, gestures & behavior have an impact– I’ll focus on my company’s success, not my ego– I can trip the shortstop . . . But if I back her up, we

might win the game

It is all about me!

Good reads . . . .• Ben W. Heinemann, The General Counsel as Lawyer-Statesman,

http://www.law.harvard.edu/programs/plp/pdf/General_Counsel_as_Lawyer-Statesman.pdf

• Daniel Goleman, “What Makes a Leader,” Harvard Business Review, Jan. 2004, http://hbr.org/2004/01/what-makes-a-leader/ar/1

• Adam Grant, “The Dark Side of Emotional Intelligence,” The Atlantic Monthly, Jan. 2, 2014, http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/01/the-dark-side-of-emotional-intelligence/282720/

• Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening (Guilford Press, 2009)• Margaret Morrell and Stephanie Capparell, Shackleton’s Way:

Leadership Lessons from the Great Antarctic Explorer (Penguin, 2002)

Emotional Intelligence &

Clients

Emotional Intelligence as Four Constructs

• Drawing from the scientific community (and Daniel Goleman’s model specifically), we look at emotional intelligence as:

• Self-awareness

• Self-management

• Social awareness

• Relationship Management

Self

• Self-awareness– The ability to read one’s own emotions and

recognize their impact while using gut feelings to guide decisions

• Self-management– Controlling one’s emotions and impulses and

adapting to changing circumstances

Others

• Social awareness– The ability to sense, understand and react to

others’ emotions while comprehending social networks

• Relationship management– The ability to inspire, influence and develop while

managing conflict

One Client/Many Relationships• While our client is actually the company, there

are a variety of in-house counsel “client” relationships:– In-house attorneys to business colleagues– In-house attorneys to superiors within the legal

department– In-house attorneys partnering with outside

counsel to serve the corporation as a whole

There are many EI and non-EI components to client service*, including:

AccuracyJudgment

Technical Legal Skills

Professionalism/Ethics

Golden Rule

Accountability

Responsiveness/Proactivity

Trust

* We are not concerned with covering every facet of client service but in using it as a lens through which to examine emotional intelligence as it applies to in-house counsel career skills.

General elements of any client service interaction:

Relationship Assessment

Initial Case Assessment

Assignment

Substantive Lawyering

Communication of Advice

Implementation

Follow Up

Remember the Four Elements (Case Assessment)

#1 Self-awareness: What is my frame of mind at this moment?

#2 Self-management: How do I keep my current state of mind from impacting the discussion or advice I am about to render?

#3 Social awareness: Who is involved in the matter?

#4 Relationship management: Many questions to be examined.

Remember the Four Elements (Assignment and Substantive Lawyering)

#1 Self-awareness: Am I giving the matter the attention or resources (i.e. depth) that it deserves?

#2 Self-management: Am I exerting pressure on others appropriate to the project, timeline and budget rather than based on my own feelings?

#3 Social awareness: What message am I sending to colleagues or an opponent by my case assignment or strategy?

#4 Relationship management: Many questions to be examined.

Remember the Four Elements (Communication of Advice/Implementation/Follow-Up)

#1 Self-awareness: How do I feel about the advice or conclusion?

#2 Self-management: Am I communicating in a way that is appropriate for the matter at hand? Have all the decision makers and stakeholders been identified and received communication?

#3 Social awareness: How does the action impact various people?

#4 Relationship management: Who should hear the advice/know the result first?

Simple Tips – EI Maintenance Learn the business – go into the field, factory, etc. to better understand others’

experience, invite outside counsel into your offices to let them learn

Build relationships – take business people to lunch, accept law firm invitations to events, give referrals and compliments, etc.

Learn business skills – reading financial statements, how business people make presentations, etc. to better see things from their perspective

Seek out leadership opportunities either within the office or through volunteer activities (like ACC!) and use them to hone management skills

Ask for feedback and be certain to accept it with a positive attitude and determination to develop

Keep a fresh perspective by staying curious, trying new things, seeking out other ideas and getting advice from varied sources

Emotional Intelligence An International Perspective

• EQ Savvy for International Travel “Novices”

• Why International EQ is important to Global Employers and Would-be Employees

• Some EQ Considerations for Global Companies

RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENTInspirational LeadershipDeveloping OthersInfluenceChange CatalystConflict ManagementBuilding BondsTeamwork and Collaboration

SOCIAL-AWARENESSEmpathyOrganizational AwarenessService Orientation

SELF-AWARENESSEmotional Self-AwarenessAccurate Self-AssessmentSelf-Confidence

SELF MANAGEMENTSelf-ControlTransparencyAdaptabilityAchievement DriveInitiative

SELF SOCIALRE

COG

NIT

ION

REG

ULA

TIO

N

EQ Savvy for International Travel “Novices”

“You only get one chance to make a good first impression.” Elizabeth Wall, Founder President, EWPI

Some basic EQ know-how for visits to unfamiliar destinations to avoid giving offence to contacts, committing faux pas, or worse:

• When travelling on business, you represent your company…… and your home country.

• You disregard different countries’ customs and culture at your peril!

• Behaviour protocols in different countries in the same geographical “region” are as different as the languages spoken in each country in question.

e.g. China, Korea, Japan which are often referred to as “Asia” e.g. Russia, Tajikistan, Moldova, Kazakhstan, etc. which are all “CIS”

• Check each country individually.

Plan ahead for overseas business travel:

• Tap into all available resources - work colleagues, contacts, local outside counsel etc.

• See the Recommended Reading List slides for topical guidance.

• Gather as much information as you can about your destination, local customs and protocols.

• Use appropriate “body language” and appropriate manner of greeting in each country.

• Pack appropriate attire for business and social occasions

• Plan meetings and other contacts well ahead of time; check meeting times and venues.

• Check the relevant “gift” protocols

When in country:

• Address people according to their status and by their full name.

• Avoid using first or nicknames unless you are invited to do so.

• Ensure contacts’ names and titles are correctly spelled in communications and, if possible, check on pronunciation.

• Be aware there may be different behaviour protocols for business and “business social” occasions.

• Arrive at the meeting venue at the appointed time, not too early or too late. Check journey times!

• If in doubt, dress conservatively.

See www.paulekman.com for facial expressions test. Image: Paul Ekman Group

Non-verbal communication:

Why International EQ matters to Global Employers and would-be Employees

It isn’t possible to assess an individual’s EQ merely by looking at them!

When recruiting for international roles, a candidate’s EQ characteristics will be no less important than their IQ and personality traits.

And that is even before we add the challenges of religious diversity and/or political leanings into the mix!

Corporations should therefore favour candidates who:

• demonstrate characteristics and skills specific to the international environment as well as the role itself

• will enhance the effectiveness of the their multinational team(s)

• are “Board ready” in terms of maturity and “presence” for a multicultural environment

From a Candidate’s Perspective

• Your full range of skills and experience including EQ savvy, languages, “political awareness”, ethical behaviour and previous overseas work experience are as important in a cross-cultural corporate environment as your basic Meyers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) profile.

• Be prepared during interviews to describe scenarios, particularly those in challenging situations, where you have used your cross-cultural EQ skills.

• Prepare questions for the interviewers on the extent of international/cross cultural exposure in the role and what potential challenges this may pose.

• Use your resume/LinkedIn profile to maximise your chances for international opportunities by describing your multinational experience in the context of your EQ skills.

• Always be authentic.

Culture-Shocks

If you transfer within your company to a different country, you may experience some “culture-shock” issues which undermine EQ values.

Eg:

• deeply ingrained attitudes like chauvinism, gender and other diversity issues

• lawyering styles inconsistent with appropriate behaviour

• strictly hierarchical corporate cultures deeply embedded within local subsidiaries where only the most senior executive can and will speak for the local business, being immune to challenges from within his “troops”

• a sustained culture of applying peer pressure across the workforce to ensure the entire community consistently circumvents company policy

• efforts to conduct a sustained campaign to influence and persuade the workforce to conform with overall Group protocols are likely to meet hard core resistance.

Call to Action:

How will social networking and new technologies impact current EQ thinking?

Discuss!

Recommended Reading for Wannabe Seasoned Road Warriors!

In Print:

• Kiss, Bow, or Shake Hands - doing business in more than 60 countries, by Terri Morrison and Wayne A. Conaway

See also: - Kiss, Bow or Shake Hands in Latin America - Kiss, Bow or Shake Hands in Asia

• When Cultures Collide, by Richard D. Lewis

• When Teams Collide, by Richard D. Lewis

• Riding the Waves of Culture – Understanding Diversity in Global Business, by Fons Trompnaars & Charles Hampden-Turner, Updated 3rd Edition

Online Articles:

• Are There Universal Facial Expressions? by Paul Ekman

• Global Leadership Success Through Emotional and Cultural Intelligences by Ilan Alon & James M. Higgins

• Cultural Intelligence - Working Successfully With Diverse Groups from MindTools.com

• Beyond General Intelligence (IQ) and Emotional Intelligence (EQ): The Role of Cultural Intelligence (CQ) on Cross-Border Leadership Effectiveness

by Thomas Rockstuhl, Stefan Seiler, Soon Ang, Linn Van Dyne, Hubert Annen

Food for Thought:“Students who learn through textbooks lack a particular kind of experience that can only ever be gained by testing those principles out in the big, wide, world. Those who play it by the book are fine as long as the book doesn’t let them down and as long as it carefully lists every eventuality. But the book of life is constantly rewriting itself. No amount of theoretical understanding will bring the right answer. For that, you need experience.”(Jonathan Cainer, British Psychic, Leo Horoscope for August 20th, 2014)

I BET YOU CAN’T GUESS…..In which country will you be warmly welcomed by an

individual who sticks out his or her tongue at you?

YOU GUESSED IT…TIBET!

Emotional Intelligence in

Unique Situations

Bet You Won’t Forget…Constructs of Emotional Intelligence

• Self Awareness – The ability to read one’s own emotions and recognize their impact while using gut feelings to guide decisions.

• Self-Management – Controlling one’s emotions and impulses and adapting to changing circumstances.

• Social Awareness – The ability to sense, understand and react to others’ emotions while comprehending social networks.

• Relationship Management – The ability to inspire, influence and develop while managing conflict.

This Thing Called Emotional Intelligence

• Emotional intelligence involves understanding your emotions and the emotions of the people around you.

• Emotional intelligence has to do with a person’s ability to recognize, understand, and manage his or her own emotions and the emotions of others.

• Emotional intelligence in the day-to-day affairs of me……..

Student Experience in a Foreign Country

Faculty you have been named…in a Lawsuit

Student Discipline & the Psychologists

The Board Member

The Bomb Threat

Managing Emotions in the Workplace• Know your work style. Determine whether certain people bother you or whether

you generally just want to work alone.• Know your feelings. Decide whether you prefer to work with some people and

not others. Structure your time to get more control over when you have to work with people you have negative feelings about.

• Pick a time of day. See whether you're more open to dealing with others at a particular time of day.

• Choose a place. Decide whether you're more comfortable working with others in a particular place.

• Plan ahead. Plan your interactions in advance so that you can structure them and control the time.

• Keep it short. Set the amount of time for your interactions in advance and try to stick to it.

• Be professional. Be pleasant, even you if you don’t like the person you have to deal with.

According to Emotional Intelligence for Dummies

Pulling It All TogetherAs In-House Counsel and Lawyers in general, we should focus on:

• Managing his or her own impulses• Communicate with others effectively• Manage change well• Solve problems• Use humor to build rapport in tense situations

We master these, we are on our way to being EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT!!

QUESTIONS