What is Selfesteem.doc

7/29/2019 What is Selfesteem.doc

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What is Self Esteem?

Self esteem is how we feel about ourselves. It is our thoughts and feelings aboutourselves. For example: I am good looking. I feel good about myself. I am kind. I amcompetent.

The level of our self esteem determines how we operate in life - how we interactwith others, spouse, children, friends, and strangers. It determines our goals andwhat we strive for, our achievements, and our satisfaction and happiness in life.

The importance of self esteem can be seen when we look at the relationshipbetween healthy self esteem and other psychological traits. Self esteem andpersonality are closely related.

Healthy self esteem is related with:

Creativity

Rationality Flexibility Willingness to admit mistakes

Openness Honesty Acceptance Cooperativeness Independence

People with high self esteem tend to be more ambitious in what they want toexperience in life.

High self esteem people have a drive to express themselves and to communicateopenly and honestly about their needs and desires.

People with healthy self esteem choose healthy relationships and they recognize thevalue of relationships. They treat others with respect, non judgmental attitude, andfairness.

Much of your stress comes from internal sources. Having a high self esteem is vitalfor stress relief.

Can you see the importance of self esteem? It is no wonder that Nathaniel Brandensays that self esteem is our basic need.

How To Build Your Self-Esteem

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6 tips to help you feel more confident and in control of your life as a teen

It may sound a little cheesy, but feeling good about who you are -- that is, having ahealthy amount of self-esteem and self-confidence -- is one of those things that willhelp make your life happier and more successful. Having confidence in yourself andyour abilities goes a long way whether you're facing a tough decision, adapting to anew situation or standing up against peer pressure. Here are some tips on how tobuild your self-esteem.

1. Take a deep breath.

Staying relaxed and being laid-back in general can help you see the bigger pictureand not sweat the small stuff so much. It's also a good frame of mind to be in whenyou're taking a close look at the things you're not so good at.

2. Take inventory of your strengths.

Everybody's good at something, and many people are good at quite a few things.

Even if you don't have a talent or strength that you're aware of, you probably havesome interests you can develop into strengths.

Make a list of a few things you're good at and a few things you're interested in andwould like to be better at. Share this list with your parents, an aunt or uncle, or ateacher you like and trust. They can probably help you find other things you're goodat, too, and help you come up with a plan for developing other skills and interests.

3. Realize your limits.

Nobody's perfect -- not even close. It may not always seem this way, but it's true. Soif you weren't born a good singer, a super athlete or an "A" student, that's OK. You

have a personality and a perspective on the world that's all your own andcompletely valuable -- even if you suck at basketball, have a big nose or look terriblein leggings.

4. Stop putting yourself down. Now!

One of the biggest things that keeps people from achieving their goals -- and feelinggood about themselves -- is negative self-talk. In other words, telling yourself thatyou're a loser or a failure puts a big damper on your ability to get what you wantand be who you want.

If you don't do well at a particular project or task, it doesn't mean that you neverwill. Perhaps you weren't prepared or the time simply wasn't right. It doesn't meanthat you're a lousy human being or that you'll never succeed. It's OK to be upset fora bit when things don't go your way, but after a little while, let it go and move on.You'll be that much closer to achieving what you want if you do.

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5. Celebrate progress and small victories.

Did you pass your driver's test or give a killer speech despite feeling nervous? Givecredit where credit's due: You did it, and you rule! And guess what? You can tacklebigger, harder projects, too.

6. Pat yourself on the back every day.

Find a few small things that you did well each day. Whether it's waking up on time,smiling at the dorky hall monitor or sending a card to your grandmother, a lot ofgood can be accomplished in one day -- and it's something to take pride in.

Self Esteem is the Key to your Happiness and Well-being

Building esteem is a first step towards your happiness and a better life. If you havelow confidence or low self esteem you will find it impossible to be the person youcould be and your happiness will be limited.

Self esteem increases your confidence. If you have confidence you will respectyourself and then you can respect others, improve your relationships andbecome happier....this is not a selfish goal as you will contribute more and shareyourself with the world and those around you.

Low esteem causes depression, unhappiness, insecurity and low confidence. Other'sdesires may take preference over yours. Inner criticism, that nagging voice ofdisapproval inside you, causes you to stumble at every challenge and challengesseem impossible.

How to improve your esteem and confidence

1. Face your fears - challenges seem scary but your fears are usually exagerated.Facing your fears increases your confidence and boosts your esteem.

2. Forget your failures - learn from them. Avoid making the same mistakes againbut don't limit yourself by assuming you failed before so you can't succeed this time.Try again, you're wiser and stronger. Don't be trapped in the past!

3. Know what you want and ask for it. Learn about being assertive - youdeserve your dreams to come true!

4. Reward yourself when you succeed. No-one else will! Isn't everything easierwhen you take time to help yourself? Make a list of your successes and focus on thepositive.

5. Talk - We often make assumptions about a situation or person which are nottrue. Your attitude and behaviour can be negatively affected so if you have anydoubt or question ask and don't assume you know why or how. There is much more

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about this point and about many of the others in a wonderful book I have readrecently. Ipersonally recommend you to read it too as you're going to get a lot outof it. It's called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, click on the link to orderthis extraordinary book now.

6. Don't be defeated! Try something else. You are not going to be defeated by one failed attempt are you?

Doesn't everyone fail before they succeed? All you need is a different approach. Good luck! I wish you

happiness and success!low self esteem - click here for more

Self-EsteemWhat is it?

Self-esteem refers to the way we see and think about ourselves.

Self-EsteemWhats it made of? Your self-esteem is made up of all the experiences and interpersonal relationships youve had in

your life. Everyone youve ever met has added to or taken away from how you see yourself!

The Effects of High Self-Esteem People with high self-esteem possess the following characteristics:

-They like to meet new people.-They dont worry about how others will judge them.

-They have the courage to express themselves.

-Their lives are enriched with each new encounter.

-They are nicer to be around.

-Their ideas are met with interest because others want to hear what they have to say.

-They are magnets to positive opportunities!People with high self-esteem have an I think I can attitude!

The Effects of Low Self-Esteem

People with low self-esteem possess the following characteristics:

-They dont believe in themselves.-They see themselves failing before they begin.

-They have a hard time forgiving their mistakes and make themselves pay the price forever.

-They believe they can never be as good as they should be or as others.

They are afraid to show their creativity because they will be ridiculed.

-They are dissatisfied with their lives.

-They spend most of their time alone.

-They complain and criticize.-They worry about everything and do nothing.People with low self-esteem have an I cant do it attitude.

12 Steps to High Self-Esteem

Step 1 -Forgive yourself for past mistakes.

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Step 2 -Focus on your positive attributes.

Step 3 -Follow the example of successful people.

Step 4 -Become a self talker.

Step 5 -Exhibit a good attitude.

Step 6 -Get plenty of rest.

Step 7 -Make your work skills your own

Step 8 -Practice your talentsStep 9 -Become physically fit.

Step 10 -Learn new things.

Step 11 -Improve your personal relationships.

Step 12 -Dress well!

Self-esteem comes from every experience of your life.

How you view yourself affects everything you do in life.

High self-esteem gives you a GOOD feeling about yourself.

Low self-esteem distorts your view of yourself.

Self-esteem can me improved! You are a unique individual. No one else is like you in the whole world. This makes you

special already!

Our time in this world is limited. Make it happen for you so you leave your mark inhistory!

16 Guidelines for LifeBy Dr. Tim Ong

I had the wonderful experience of spending my last weekend in a workshop facilitated by AlisonMurdoch, one of the authors of The 16 Guidelines for Life. If you ever come across an opportunity

to attend this workshop, I would highly recommend that you take it.

The 16 Guidelines for Life are values that, when put into practice and internalized in our life, lead to

a happier and more meaningful life. They are simple to understand, practical and straightforward,

yet it is precisely because of their simplicity that we run the danger of ignoring them. While it isbeneficial to learn and understand them, their real value lies in applying them in our daily lives.

The 16 Guidelines are grouped into 4 themes how we think, how we act, how we relate and how

we find meanings in life. Understanding how we think provides us with a choice to discard ournegative and unskilful thoughts, and to embrace positive and skilful thoughts that lead to positive

outcomes for all concern.

Through some very simple yet powerful exercises, the facilitator led the participants into realizing forthemselves the judgmental habits of their mind. Thus, by paying attention and being aware of ourthoughts, we are empowered with a choice we did not know we had before the choice of changing

our thoughts or mental habits.

At this point, I was reminded of the definition of insanity that a friend had given me. He said that

insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting the outcome to be different. Sowe have been living insanely with the same pattern of thoughts for years, and then we wonder why

our lives stay the same.

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The moment we change the way we think, we start to act and relate to others differently. We beginto see things from a different perspective, and in doing so we change our experience of life. Nothing

outside of us has changed but the way we perceive them has. The end result is that we change ourlives.

Using the 16 Guidelines, the change we experience is positive, affirming, empowering andmeaningful.

7 Hot Tips For Self Improvement

Have you ever imagined that life could be a lot better and more fulfilling than yours is right now? Areyou eager to learn a self improvement technique that will make it so?

If you are read on.

I am going to lay down 7 simple steps for your self improvement plan. Whether you implement theself improvement steps I give you is your decision alone.

Self Improvement Tip 1this tip will seem quite obvious and simple to you, but you'll be amazed how few actually take the

effort to do it.

Unless you're not a morning person this self improvement tip will drastically change the quality ofyour day towards the positive.

Setting you in a good mood to face the days challenges and adversities.

Get Up Early!This may sound more like a way to ruin your day by putting you in an awful mood, but bear with me

on this.

To be able to accomplish this and still avoid losing any any precious sleep. You can go to bed just a

half hour earlier since to start with you only need to get up a half hour earlier than you usually do.

To aid this purpose you should definitely use an alarm clock with persistent beeping.

You may be wondering by now just what it is that you're supposed to do in this extra half hour whenyou would normally be dozing peacefully in bed and how this has anything to do with self

improvement.

For different people the answer can vary slightly. To start with you need to fully awaken yourself and

get rid of early morning sluggishness.

To suit this purpose you can take a cold or slightly cool shower. Or you might try doing stretches

combined with deep breathing.

You might skip the shower if just splashing cold water on your face is sufficient to wake you. Use

whatever works for you.

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After you're completely alert step outside of your house, apartment, etc... And if it's early enoughand you have a clear view, watch the sunrise.

This simple but immensely satisfying act will lift your spirits and help with self improvement. If you'reunable to do this, take a brisk walk, jog or run depending upon what you prefer and what you're

physically capable of.

When you've been out for 20 minutes you can head inside and commence with whatever morningritual you normally have.

Self Improvement Tip 2

Now this is extremely important but deceitfully obvious. Eat Breakfast.

To start your day out on the right foot and stay in keeping with your self improvement plan this is

practically a necessity. You need the energy this will provide you with to accomplish your daily tasks.

If you are overly pressed for time you might try cereal and milk or a few granola bars, even a few

pieces of fresh fruit would do.

Any of these are better alternatives than skipping breakfast.

This is also a good suggestion for those watching their weight, because if you skip breakfast you'remore likely to binge later in the day. And you certainly wont be helping your self improvement by

gaining unwanted weight.


when you go places, even if you find it a bit difficult at first, smiles more at other people. Just curveyour lips up a bit as you make eye contact with another human being.

It's really that simple. This will not only lift your spirits as you see a good many people smile back,but it will lift other people's as well. Even the ones who are too shy to smile back.


Don't procrastinate! The more you put something off and something else off, the more all your undesirablechores pile up.

Until they become an insurmountable task that would make a paid cleaning crew shudder. In fact take

these chores and work them into your schedule so you will be sure to do them.


If you don't already keep a schedule or make yourself a to-do list each night, this is your cue to start.

A to-do list helps you get things done because it gives you a urgent "must do this today" attitude.

It will also help you remember things that you might have otherwise forgotten. You can put things on

them that you're afraid of forgetting, or want to make sure you make time for.

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Self Improvement Tip 6This is by far the most important self improvement tip I could give you. Forgive and Forget.

Either imagined or real slights should always be forgiven. To forget them is to not dwell on them and not

remember the angry feelings if you ever look back on that moment.

Let me just tell you this: Holding a grudge will not hurt the begrudged as much as it will hurt you andyour personality. As well as your existing relationships.

If there are any ancient or recent rifts or fights between you and a relative, friend, or spouse that are

hurting your relationship or have ended it entirely, make amends.

This life is the only life you get, we'll never know when it'll be our or the begrudged person's time to die,and by then it will be too late to say "I'm Sorry".

So pick up the phone or walk up to that person and apologize, even if it wasn't your fault. This may be the

last chance you'll get to make amends.

You will be surprised at the feeling you'll get after fixing things up between you. As if a burden has been

lifted off your shoulders. This is definitely a step towards self improvement.


Do something kind for someone else. Today! Not just on a birthday or anniversary, but spontaneously.

Buy a rose or other flower for a friend and tell them it's just "because". Because they mean a lot to you,

and because you care for them.

Tell your family and friends that you love them. Offer to help a friend with a chore. Babysit for someoneyou know so they can have a night out.

Help teach a young niece/nephew, son/daughter, brother/sister, etc.... how to read or do some other

"grownup" thing.

The list of things you can do is endless, and I'm sure you can procure some ideas of your own on thesubject.

Now for your convenience I've summed up all seven self improvement tips:

1. Get up early and jog or watch sunrise

2. Eat breakfast

3. Smile at strangers when you make eye contact

4. Don't procrastinate

5. Keep a schedule or To-Do list

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6. Forgive others and Forgive past wrongs

7. Do something for someone else

BUILDING A PLEASING PERSONALITY

Napoleon Hill describes apleasing personalityas the personality that attracts. Hesays that your personality is the sum total of your own characteristics andappearances that distinguish you from all others. The clothes you wear, the lines inyour face, the tone of your voice, the thoughts you think, the character you havedeveloped by those thoughts all constitute part of your personality.

The factors of a pleasing personality are listed below:

1. Positive mental attitude

2. Tolerance

3. Alertness

4. Common courtesy

5. A fondness of people

6. Flexibility

7. Tactfulness

8. Personal magnetism

9. A pleasant tone of voice

10. Control of facial expressions11. Sportsmanship

12. Sincerity

13. Sense of humor

14. Humility of the heart

15. Smiling

16. Enthusiasm

17. Control of temper and emotions

18. Patience

19. Proper dress

Building Self-Confidence

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Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle tofind it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: People who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become

successful.

After all, most people are reluctant to back a project that's being pitched by someone who was nervous,fumbling and overly apologetic.

On the other hand, you might be persuaded by someone who speaks clearly, who holds his or her head

high, who answers questions assuredly, and who readily admits when he or she does not know something.

Self-confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their peers, their bosses, their

customers, and their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident person finds success.

The good news is that self-confidence really can be learned and built on. And, whether youre working on

your own self-confidence or building the confidence of people around you, its well-worth the effort!

So how confident do you seem to others?Your level of self-confidence can show in many ways: your behavior, your body language, how you

speak, what you say, and so on. Look at the following comparisons of common confident behavior with

behavior associated with low self-confidence. Which thoughts or actions do you recognize in yourself and

people around you?

Self-Confident Low Self-Confidence

Doing what you believe to be right, even if others

mock or criticize you for it.

Governing your behavior based on what other people

think.

Being willing to take risks and go the extra mile to

achieve better things.

Staying in your comfort zone, fearing failure and so

avoid taking risks.Admitting your mistakes, and learning from them. Working hard to cover up mistakes and hoping that

you can fix the problem before anyone notices.

Waiting for others to congratulate you on your

accomplishments.

Extolling your own virtues as often as possible to as

many people as possible.

Accepting compliments graciously. Thanks, I really

worked hard on that prospectus. Im pleased yourecognize my efforts.

Dismissing compliments offhandedly. Oh that

prospectus was nothing really, anyone could havedone it.

As you can see from these examples, low self-confidence can be self-destructive, and it often manifests

itself as negativity. Self-confident people are generally more positive they believe in themselves and

their abilities, and they also believe in living life to the full.

What is Self-Confidence?

Two main things contribute to self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem.

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We gain a sense ofself-efficacy when we see ourselves (and others similar to ourselves) mastering skillsand achieving goals that matter in those skill areas. This is the confidence that, if we learn and work hard

in a particular area, we'll succeed; and it's this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult

challenges, and persist in the face of setbacks.

This overlaps with the idea ofself-esteem, which is a more general sense that we can cope with what's

going on in our lives, and that we have a right to be happy. Partly, this comes from a feeling that the

people around us approve of us, which we may or may not be able to control. However, it also comes from

the sense that we are behaving virtuously, that we're competent at what we do, and that we can competesuccessfully when we put our minds to it.

Some people believe that self-confidence can be built with affirmations and positive thinking. At Mind

Tools, we believe that there's some truth in this, but that it's just as important to build self-confidence by

setting and achieving goals thereby buildingcompetence. Without this underlying competence, youdon't have self-confidence: you have shallow over-confidence, with all of the issues, upset and failure that

this brings.

Building Self-ConfidenceSo how do you build this sense of balanced self-confidence, founded on a firm appreciation of reality?

The bad news is that theres no quick fix, or 5-minute solution.

The good news is that building self-confidence is readily achievable, just as long as you have the focus

and determination to carry things through. And whats even better is that the things youll do to build self-

confidence will also build success after all, your confidence will come from real, solid achievement. No-one can take this away from you!

So here are our three steps to self-confidence, for which well use the metaphor of a journey: preparing foryour journey; setting out; and accelerating towards success.

Step 1: Preparing for Your Journey

The first step involves getting yourself ready for your journey to self-confidence. You need to take stock

of where you are, think about where you want to go, get yourself in the right mindset for your journey, and

commit yourself to starting it and staying with it.

In preparing for your journey, do these five things:

Look at what you've already achieved:

Think about your life so far, and list the ten best things you've achieved in an "Achievement Log."

Perhaps you came top in an important test or exam, played a key role in an important team, produced the

best sales figures in a period, did something that made a key difference in someone elses life, or delivered

a project that meant a lot for your business.

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Put these into a smartly formatted document, which you can look at often. And then spend a few minuteseach week enjoying the success youve already had!

Think about your strengths:

Next, use a technique like SWOT Analysis (explore personal SWOT Analysis here) to take a look at who

and where you are. Looking at your Achievement Log, and reflecting on your recent life, think about whatyour friends would consider to be your strengths and weaknesses. From these, think about the

opportunities and threats you face.

Make sure that you enjoy a few minutes reflecting on your strengths!

Think about what's important to you, and where you want to go:

Next, think about the things that are really important to you, and what you want to achieve with your life.

Setting and achieving goals is a key part of this, and real self-confidence comes from this. Goal setting isthe process you use to set yourself targets, and measure your successful hitting of those targets. See our

article on goal setting to find out how to use this important technique, or use ourLife Plan Workbookto

think through your own goals in detail (see "Tip" below).

Inform your goal setting with your SWOT Analysis. Set goals that exploit your strengths, minimize your

weaknesses, realize your opportunities, and control the threats you face.

And having set the major goals in your life, identify the first step in each. A tip: Make sure its a very

small step, perhaps taking no more than an hour to complete!

Start managing your mind:

At this stage, you need to start managing your mind. Learn to pick up and defeat the negative self-talk

which can destroy your confidence. See our article on rational positive thinking to find out how to do this.

Further useful reading includes our article onimagery this teaches you how to use and create strong

mental images of what youll feel and experience as you achieve your major goals theres somethingabout doing this that makes even major goals seem achievable!

And then commit yourself to success!

The final part of preparing for the journey is to make a clear and unequivocal promise to yourself that you

are absolutely committed to your journey, and that you will do all in your power to achieve it.

If as youre doing it, you find doubts starting to surface, write them down and challenge them calmly andrationally. If they dissolve under scrutiny, thats great. However if they are based on genuine risks, make

sure you set additional goals to manage these appropriately. For help with evaluating and managing the

risks you face, read ourRisk Analysis and Managementarticle.

Either way, make that promise!

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Tip: Balanced Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is about balance. At one extreme, we have people with low self-confidence. At the other

end, we have people who may be over-confident.

If you are under-confident, youll avoid taking risks and stretching yourself; and you might not try at all.

And if youre over-confident, you may take on too much risk, stretch yourself beyond your capabilities,and crash badly. You may also find that youre so optimistic that you dont try hard enough to truly

succeed.

Getting this right is a matter of having the right amount of confidence, founded in reality and on your true

ability. With the right amount of self-confidence, you will take informed risks, stretch yourself (but notbeyond your abilities) and try hard.

So How Self Confident Are You? Take our short quiz to find out how self-confident you are already, and

start looking at specific strategies to improve your confidence level.

Step 2: Setting OutThis is where you start, ever so slowly, moving towards your goal. By doing the right things, and starting

with small, easy wins, youll put yourself on the path to success and start building the self-confidence

that comes with this.

Build the knowledge you need to succeed:

Looking at your goals, identify the skills youll need to achieve them. And then look at how you canacquire these skills confidently and well. Dont just accept a sketchy, just-good-enough solution look for

a solution, a program or a course that fully equips you to achieve what you want to achieve and, ideally,

gives you a certificate or qualification you can be proud of.

Focus on the basics:

When youre starting, dont try to do anything clever or elaborate. And dont reach for perfection just

enjoy doing simple things successfully and well.

Set small goals, and achieve them:

Starting with the very small goals you identified in step 1, get in the habit of setting them, achieving them,

and celebrating that achievement. Dont make goals particularly challenging at this stage, just get into the

habit of achieving them and celebrating them. And, little by little, start piling up the successes!

Keep managing your mind:

Stay on top of that positive thinking, keep celebrating and enjoying success, and keep those mental images

strong. You can also use a technique likeTreasure Mapping to make your visualizations even stronger!

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And on the other side, learn to handle failure. Accept that mistakes happen when youre trying somethingnew. In fact, if you get into the habit of treating mistakes as learning experiences, you can (almost) start to

see them in a positive light. After all, theres a lot to be said for the saying if it doesnt kill you, it makes

you stronger!

Step 3: Accelerating Towards Success

By this stage, youll feel your self-confidence building. Youll have completed some of the courses you

started in step 2, and youll have plenty of success to celebrate!

This is the time to start stretching yourself. Make the goals a bit bigger, and the challenges a bit tougher.Increase the size of your commitment. And extend the skills youve proven into new, but closely related

arenas.

Tip 1:

Keep yourself grounded this is where people tend to get over-confident and over-stretch themselves.And make sure you dont start enjoying cleverness for its own sake

Tip 2:

If you haven't already looked at it, use ourHow Self Confident Are You? quiz to find out how self-

confident you are, and to identify specific strategies for building self-confidence.

As long as you keep on stretching yourself enough, but not too much, you'll find your self-confidencebuilding apace. What's more, you'll have earned your self-confidence because youll have put in the hard

graft necessary to be successful!

Goal setting is arguably the most important skill you can learn to improve your self-confidence. If youhaven't already read and applied our goal setting article, you can read ithere.

10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence

Self confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. Your

perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. Perception is reality themore self confidence you have, the more likely it is youll succeed.

Although many of the factors affecting self confidence are beyond your control, there are a number of

things you can consciously do to build self confidence. By using these 10 strategies you can get the mental

edge you need to reach your potential.

Build Self Confidence

1. Dress Sharp

Although clothes dont make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is moreconscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you dont look good, it changes the way you

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carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personalappearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently,

wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.

This doesnt mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is spend twice as much,buy half as much. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality

items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style

longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.

2. Walk Faster

One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired?painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go,

people to see, and important work to do. Even if you arent in a hurry, you can increase your self

confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel moreimportant.

3. Good Posture

Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargicmovements display a lack of self confidence. They arent enthusiastic about what theyre doing and they

dont consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, youll automatically feel more

confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. Youll make a positive impressionon others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.

4. Personal Commercial

One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately,

opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a

personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite itin front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.

5. Gratitude

When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you cant have it. This leads

you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Setaside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes,

unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. Youll be amazed how much you have going

for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.

6. Compliment other people

When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insultsand gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in

backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, youll become

well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best inyourself.

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7. Sit in the front row

In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of

the room. Most people prefer the back because theyre afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of selfconfidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self

confidence. Youll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.

8. Speak up

During group discussions many people never speak up because theyre afraid that people will judge themfor saying something stupid. This fear isnt really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting

than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak

up at least once in every group discussion, youll become a better public speaker, more confident in your

own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.

9. Work out

Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If

youre out of shape, youll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve

your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline towork out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the

day.

10. Focus on contribution

Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on theneeds of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution youre

making to the rest of the world, you wont worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self

confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world

the more youll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.

Recognize your insecurities. What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you

ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, or friends at school. Whatever ismaking you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down. You can

also tear these written pieces to start feeling positive on those points.

Talk about it with friends and loved ones. Wear it on your sleeve. Each day you should chip away at

it; wear it down. There's no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that youneed to resolve each issue before you can move on. And that doesn't mean you have to get rid of whatever

makes you feel bad (many times, you simply can't). You need to learn to acceptyourself, your past, your

circumstances as they are, without necessarily thinking of them as "bad".3

Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in

any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the

road.

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Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then

focus on yourtalents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your

successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourselfto be victimized. Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy.

Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. If it's difficult to name

two or three things you have some ability in or just plainloveto do, think about things others do that youwould like to do too and take some lessons or join an enthusiasts club. When you're following your

passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which

can help build your self confidence. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make youmore confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!

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Be thankful for what you have. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a

feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. Byacknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and

unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.

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Be Positive, even if you don't feel the same way. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others.

Never allow others to make you feel inferior--they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loatheand belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself,about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to

others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive

direction.

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Accept compliments gracefully. Don't roll your eyes and say, "Yeah, right," or shrug it off. Take it to

heart and respondpositively ("Thank you" and a smile works well).

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Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest

that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So bylooking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in

the long run.

Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually

make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see

how you feel!

Stick to your principles. It might be tough, but if you don't have something you can believe in, youdon't have anything. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. No matter what's

happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you've followed

your principles to the best of your ability.11

Help others. When you know you're kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference

in other people's lives (even if it's just being kinder to the person who serves you coffee in the morning),

you'll know that you are a positive force in the world--which will boost your self confidence. Justrecognizing who or what you're like inside will help you become that on the outside. Exercise helps you

build strength and confidence, increases libido, and has many other positive effects.

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Always keep a smile on your face, that will build a lot of self-confidence

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Share your knowledge & your experience with others

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