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What is Ego?

A Report from The Trenches

 by Andrew Cohen

 

In the end it really is black-and-white. !t of co!rse it all depends !pon the sincerity ofo!r interest in gen!ine and tr!ly radical transformation. That"s why there is so m!ch

conf!sion abo!t the theme of this iss!e of What Is Enlightenment? eca!se o!r ability to

recogni#e the tr!e face of the ego$ to see it for what it act!ally is$ depends entirely !pon

how far we want to go on the spirit!al path.

A simple psychological definition of the ego is something like the %self-organi#ing

 principle$% that all-important command center in the psyche that coordinates the different

aspects of the self. And that command center m!st be in good working order for a h!man being to be able to f!nction in the world with any reasonable degree of competency. The

ego as self-organi#ing principle is neither positi&e nor negati&e' its f!nction ismechanistic$ and in that$ it has no self nat!re. !t there is another definition of egothe

one that inspired the in&estigation !pon which this iss!e of WIE is basedand the ego in

that definition has self nat!re. The h!man face of that ego is pride' is arrogant self-

importance' is narcissistic self-infat!ation' is the need to see oneself as being separate atall times$ in all places$ thro!gh all circ!mstancesand that ego is the !nrelenting enemy of

all that is tr!ly wholesome in the h!man e(perience. When this ego is !nmasked$ seen

directly for what it is$ finally !nobsc!red by the other e(pressions of the personality$ onefinds oneself literally face-to-face with a demona demon that thri&es on power$

domination$ control and separation$ that cares only abo!t itself and is willing to destroyanything and e&erything that is good and tr!e in order to s!r&i&e intact and always incontrol. This demon lacks any capacity for empathy$ compassion$ generosity or lo&e'

delights in its perfect in&!lnerability' and$ worst of all$ will ne&er e&er acknowledge that

which is sacred.

!t I knew none of this when I began teaching the path to liberation fo!rteen years ago.

At that time$ I had no idea of the magnit!de of the battle I had taken on by daring to lead

others to the yonder shore. In those days I tho!ght spirit!al e(perience$ tasting themirac!lo!s and !nlimited depth of the )elf beyond time and mind$ wo!ld instill eno!gh

re&erence and awe in the seeker to empower them to face whate&er needed to be faced

and bear whate&er needed to be borne in order to be free. !t oh how wrong I was* Ididn"t reali#e then that for most seekers$ enlightenment e(periences were not the end of

the path b!t only the beginning. It"s tr!e that witho!t that depth of spirit!al e(perience$ it

is &ery diffic!lt for a seeker to take the possibility of their own liberation serio!slyb!te&en when one has e(perienced that depth of )elf$ when p!sh comes to sho&e$ when o!r

 back is against the wall$ when like +es!s or the !ddha we m!st face directly into the

darkest regions of the h!man so!l$ how many among !s will ha&e s!ch lo&e for the tr!th

alone that we will co!rageo!sly remain !nmo&ed and immo&able?

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I can"t tell yo! how many times I ha&e witnessed the shocking and often frightening

transformation of a h!man personality when faced s,!arely with the tr!th of its owndi&ision$ hypocrisy and deceit in an instant$ a warm$ intelligent$ sensiti&e$ apparently

caring personality can change$ becoming the face of p!re ego$ glaring with narcissistic

rage beca!se it has been e(posed. It is beca!se of many e(periences like this that I ha&espent co!ntless ho!rs thinking abo!t the ,!estions What is the personality? Who is the

indi&id!al? It seems that in the end it really is black-and-white$ simply beca!se who we

are depends !pon where o!r allegiance lies. Is it with the narcissistic ego? r is it withthe spirit!al heart? f co!rse$ we can only really find o!t the answer to that ,!estion

when we are tested beca!se otherwise it"s ine&itable that the tr!th of o!r own condition

will remain obsc!red$ masked by self-concepts that are based on the ego"s need to always

see itself in a positi&e lighte&en if it sees itself as a &ictim.

Who we are and how we percei&e o!r own e(perience and the world aro!nd !s depend

!pon where o!r allegiance lies. The perspecti&e of the indi&id!al who has s!rrendered the

will of their own ego to their spirit!al heart is drastically different from the perspecti&e ofone who has not. !t it is important to !nderstand that beca!se the ego can !s!rp any

calling of the h!man so!l in order to remain in controle&en the longing for liberationit"s!s!ally impossible to tell e(actly who it is who is claiming they want to be free !ntil that

moment when their faith and lo&e for tr!th alone are p!t to the test. It is only then that we

can act!ally find o!t who we really are and what part of o!r self is p!lling the strings of

o!r own destiny.

To walk the spirit!al path in earnest is to find o!t what we"re made of and how m!ch we

are tr!ly willing to gi&e !p in order to come to the end of di&ision within o!rsel&es. The price for that kind of profo!nd and deeply liberating simplicity is too high for most$

 beca!se that price is ego death. What does that mean? That means endea&oring with all

o!r being to p!rify o!rsel&es from any and e&ery attachment$ gross and s!btle$ to thenarcissistic ego$ that demon of false indi&id!ality that mas,!erades as o!r own self and

whose task it is to keep !s$ at all costs$ separate from o!r own heart.