What is Bullying and What is Bullying and How to Handle ItHow to Handle It

Can Fishing help Can Fishing help change a bully’s change a bully’s

spots?spots?

BullyingBullying

What do bullies DO?What do bullies DO?

Why do kids get picked on?Why do kids get picked on?

Where does bullying take place?Where does bullying take place?

22

What is the difference between What is the difference between Bullying and Normal Peer Bullying and Normal Peer

Conflict ?Conflict ?BULLYINGBULLYING

Imbalance of Power Imbalance of Power

there is a winner and a there is a winner and a loser loser

Frequent eventFrequent event

Work with Bully and Victim Work with Bully and Victim separatelyseparately

NORMALNORMAL

Balance of PowerBalance of Power

Could be friendsCould be friends

Happens once or very Happens once or very sporadicallysporadically

Mediation EffectiveMediation Effective

44

3 Things Bullies Want:3 Things Bullies Want:

1. 1. PowerPowerOn their side or AGAINST them/scaredOn their side or AGAINST them/scared

2. 2. RespectRespectIf you get mad, you are disrespecting If you get mad, you are disrespecting

themthem3. 3. PopularityPopularity

Protect them or mean and toughProtect them or mean and tough

55

3 Roles in a Bullying Situation3 Roles in a Bullying Situation

The The AggressorAggressor- the one doing the - the one doing the Bullying BehaviorBullying Behavior

The The Target or VictimTarget or Victim- the person - the person being bullied/picked onbeing bullied/picked on

The The BystanderBystander- the person - the person watching/seeing the bullying happenwatching/seeing the bullying happen

66

Strategies for the AggressorStrategies for the Aggressor

Acknowledge that you need to change the Acknowledge that you need to change the behaviorbehavior

Apologize for the negative behaviorApologize for the negative behavior Use your conflict management skills to Use your conflict management skills to

handle the problemhandle the problem Increase your empathy and concern for Increase your empathy and concern for

othersothers Use your leadership skills to help rather Use your leadership skills to help rather

than hurt.than hurt.

77

Strategies for bullying victims Strategies for bullying victims

Step back and look at the reasons why you Step back and look at the reasons why you are being picked on in the first placeare being picked on in the first place

Keep your sense of humorKeep your sense of humor Avoid “hot zones” whenever possibleAvoid “hot zones” whenever possible Use Assertive Skills- catch the bully off guardUse Assertive Skills- catch the bully off guard Value YourselfValue Yourself Report serious incidences (counselors can Report serious incidences (counselors can

protect anonymity) protect anonymity) Do NOT give them the reaction they are Do NOT give them the reaction they are

hoping for!hoping for!88

Strategies for bystanders Strategies for bystanders Refuse to be an audienceRefuse to be an audience If appropriate and safe, ask the bully to If appropriate and safe, ask the bully to

stop.stop. Be a friend to the victim and be Be a friend to the victim and be

empathetic. Let the victim know you empathetic. Let the victim know you support them.support them.

Do not laugh while someone is being Do not laugh while someone is being picked onpicked on

Change the subjectChange the subject

99

WHY WOULDN’T YOU TELL?WHY WOULDN’T YOU TELL?

Tell a trusted adult so you can practice Tell a trusted adult so you can practice ways on how to deal with bullies ways on how to deal with bullies

yourselfyourself

Verbal experimentVerbal experiment

It is human nature to enjoy driving people It is human nature to enjoy driving people crazy!!crazy!!

1010

Bully-diffusing Techniques Bully-diffusing Techniques

Treat what they say as if they were words Treat what they say as if they were words from your best friendfrom your best friend

The “Stance”The “Stance” Agree with the bullyAgree with the bully Laugh at the bully and walk awayLaugh at the bully and walk away Change the subject-distractChange the subject-distract

When bullies do not get the response they want and When bullies do not get the response they want and are given no power, they almost always WILL are given no power, they almost always WILL

stop!!!stop!!!1111

What is Cyberbullying?What is Cyberbullying?

Using cyber space (computers Using cyber space (computers and cell phones) to bully and cell phones) to bully

othersothers

1212

Dangers of CyberbullyingDangers of Cyberbullying

Only a click of a button to send hurtful Only a click of a button to send hurtful messages/rumorsmessages/rumors

Can bully day or nightCan bully day or night Can create websites of Can create websites of

stories/pictures/jokes ridiculing othersstories/pictures/jokes ridiculing others Things are said that would never be said Things are said that would never be said

“face to face”“face to face” Gives a sense of anonymity- may say Gives a sense of anonymity- may say

things because you THINK no one will find things because you THINK no one will find out- THEY WILL!out- THEY WILL!

1313

If you participate in If you participate in Cyberbullying:Cyberbullying:

Writing something about someone Writing something about someone online, in a text message, etc…can online, in a text message, etc…can be considered SLANDER, STALKING be considered SLANDER, STALKING or even HARASSMENT!or even HARASSMENT!

ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE AGAINST ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE AGAINST THE LAW!!!THE LAW!!!

1414