What If I Lose My Secret Love?
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Transcript of What If I Lose My Secret Love?
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Question: • I am finally at peace with myself • I love a man dearly and want his
child • My daughter is aware of him
but my son is not
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• I have always kept him separate from my family and he is not interested in them
• Not even my friends know about him
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• I want to live with him and have his child
• If I talk to him about it, I may lose him
• What should I do?
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Answer • This is a fantasy and a
conditional relationship that suits you both
• Only you can decide whether to talk to him
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• Get clarity before you talk to him.
• What do you want? What is the other side of the fantasy?
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• You enjoy many benefits from the relationship – The excitement of the secret – Your capacity to love – Being loved – The freedom to spend your time with him
or not – Anticipation of meeting him
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• There is a downside: – You don’t know his family or friends – He chooses what to share with you – You cannot rely on his support – Is he good father? – Will he fit into your life?
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• Wanting to share everything with him could scare him off and destroy his fantasy
• Or you will both have to make many adjustments that will really test the relationship
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• If he wants to share your life, how will your life change?
• Do you want all those changes? For better or for worse?
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• What if he does not want the responsibility of a child? What if he ends the relationship?
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• How have you changed and grown in your relationship with him?
• Did he teach you the real meaning of Love?
• Did he help you to heal and love yourself?
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• You may lose him but you will never lose the wisdom you gained from your relationship with him
• That is your gift for a future relationship
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• As long as you are scared of losing him, you are still dependent on him and doubting yourself
• Find what he offers in yourself