Welcome!On green post it, please answer the following question:

What is the difference between editing and

revising?

With Markus L. Hartnett M.Ed.

4th Grade ALPS Amerman

Learning Target: I can use, praise, guiding

questions, and encouraging advice to help revise. Conversation: 0 - 2 (If you need to use your phone, please excuse yourself)

Help: Ask three before me

Activity: Taking Notes, developing advice/questions, anticipating possible

feedback.

Movement: Move as you need

Participation: Take notes and write during activities.

Successful: Feel comfortable providing revision feedback in all three types of

writing.

“Give one get one!”

On your notecard, answer the following question:

“What is the difference between revision and

editing?”

Compare and Contrast

Head to one of the four corners with the card you have. You

and your group will have 5 minutes to create a poster that

identifies the differences and similarities between the revision

and editing.

Pro Tip #1:

Have your student read it outloud

to you.

Before you start giving feedback.

Make sure they have a pen/ paper/ computer...

Pro Tip #2:

Read it from start to finish

before you offer feedback

Ignore editing mistakes!!!!!!!!

Pro Tip #3:

You should never do the work for them. Hands Off!

It is okay to have some mistakes!

Dialogue vs. Discussion and the feedback sandwich

Dialogue is for generating ideas

Discussion is for making decisions

1. Praise

2. Interesting Questions

3. Encouraging Advice

See attached Sentence Stems!

D.E.E.R. is a paragraph structure for

nonfiction and argumentative.

D__________________

E__________________

E__________________

R__________________

Example 1:

The city of Chicago needs to create more bike lanes on major streets because it

will help improve the health of Chicago's residents. According to Chicago.gov,

“More than half of Chicago's adult population is overweight. However, riding a

bicycle burns 300 calories an hour!” The addition of more bike lanes would encourage people to ride their bikes instead of driving or taking the bus, which, in turn, would help people burn more calories. This would result in lower obesity rates and a healthier Chicago.

Example 2 with revisions

The city of Chicago needs to create more bike lanes on major streets

because it will help improve the health of Chicago's residents. According to

Chicago.gov “More than half of Chicago's adult population is overweight.

However, riding a bicycle burns 300 calories an hour.” The addition of more bike

lanes would encourage people to ride their bikes instead of driving or taking the

bus, which, in turn, would help people burn more calories. This fact also shows

that too many people in Chicago are overweight which is worrisome. When people

are overweight, they can have lots of different health problems and that is not

good. However, being overweight is a treatable problem that can be solved

through diet and exercise. Bike lanes would be a great way for people to sneak in

a little extra exercise in their day. This would result in lower obesity rates and a

healthier Chicago.

Example 3: Bathroom BusinessThe first reason Northville Public Schools should have automatic

flush toilets and touchless sinks is because they are better for the environment. According to sustainability-certification.com, “If a sink drips three drops a minute it wastes about a liter a day or, 104 gallons year.” This proves that when sinks are not turned off they waste tons of water! Automatic sinks turn off immediately when you move your hand so, you do not have to worry about turning it off yourself and leaking. Getting these appliances will help the future world with water conservation.

Q & A ?